"No! We killed you!" The mediocre thug panics as he aimlessly shoots at the main character; John Doe.
The plot is simple; Investigator and family man John Doe, gets in over his head while investigating a local drug cartel. Russo, the mob boss uses all his means to silence the man, sending his goons out to do the job.
They accomplish it, in a very gruesome way, but didnt think his vengeful spirit would come back for revenge.
Lame.
We're not even half way through and im already shaking my head at how horrible it is. Its ridiculously predictable and just cheesy. Even the gore scenes suck.
"Please, have mercy! I have a family...I'll do anything!" The goon pleads as John pours gasoline on his battered body.
He cackles at his meaningless pleas, and I find myself doing the same, though not for the same reasons.
"Save your wicked tongue for someone who cares."
"Please!"
"You thought you could silence me," he begins, pulling a drag from the cigarette he apparently got out of nowhere. "Well, guess what?" The dramatic zoom in. "The dead do tell."
Wow.
And with that said he flicks the cigarette, effectively setting him ablaze.
"Die slowly." He mutters, walking off to find his next victim.
This...is...horrible.
My eyes flicker to either side of me, taking note to each of my companions; Jacob seems just as amused as I am, snickering and smacking his lips at how wack this is. Mike on the other hand looks a bit pale in the face.
I ignore how obviously they're being with the hands and decide to check up on Leah.
*T.I.M*
"Hey, Dean!" I call out to my co- worker, working the other table." Ive got half an hour left, but I think im going to call it night."
"Hey, yeah man. Its cool! Its pretty slow so go ahead." I nod my thanks and untie the back of my apron.
"I owe you one," I mouth, walking backwards towards the exit.
"Just gets some rest," he says as he waves me off. "You look like shit."
I laugh at that, and give him another thanks before exiting out the door. Not even a minute later, my phone beeps, signaling a text.
I cant help but smile at the screen.
"Omg, freakin shoot me! This movie is so damn lame its not even funny!"
I shake my head, knowing full well just how lame it is; I havent seen it, but I read the reviews and a few of my co-workers have confirmed its wackness.
"Aww, and I thought for sure that you'd enjoy your quality time with Jackey wakey. He is sorta beautiful ya know."
I snicker at this, because I know well enough just how red in the face she is.
"You're an ass (-_-) and hold on, I gotta go check on Mike smh." She replies not a moment later.
I cackle, very much out loud and begin walking towards the light, not really paying attention.
"Lmao, and you still love me so its all good. And whats wrong with Newton, besides the fact that he's a tool?"
As I patiently await for both her reply and the light to change(so I can get to my motorcycle parked across the street.) something horrendous suddenly assaults my nostrils.
It smells like rotting flesh. Rotting flesh that someone tried to mask with some kind of air freshener.
It makes my stomach churn; I arch forward, bracing myself on crosswalk poll and hurl.
That familiar feeling from before starts to reside in the pit of my stomach. Like somebody slowly shredding your insides; I've been getting it off and on for the past few days and its hell.
Between the sweating, the aches in my body and the weird fucking whispers in my head, Im not sure what's worse.
It gets stronger, the smell, and so does the pain.
Staggering, and having no clue as to where im going, my eyes focus on something or rather someone ahead of me.
Suddenly, the pain in my stomach and chest intenfies, but its accompanies by something else.
Anger.
This anger foreshadows everything else im feeling.
"Fucking bitch..."
*T.I.M*
They've been following me for awhile now, following me to wherever place my feet is taking me, cause im not even sure myself.
I dont know what the hell they're waiting for; I already know what they want to say, their thoughts are as loud as their stench.
"Mongrels."
I step from the nearby brush and blink as I take in Port Angeles.
How I've manage to come all this way and not notice is beyond me.
Listlessly I continue to walk, only somewhat taking in my surrounding when that familiar mega-plex sign comes into view.
I check my watch, knowing full well what happens about this time; its eight-thirty.
Suddenly my mouth becomes irregularly dry as I stand here on the sidewalk.
"You can change it, Rose"
Thats what Alice said and thats what part of my conscience is telling me.
The selfish part mind you.
It could be... so easy.
"Fucking bitch.."
As soon as the words are spat I whip my head around to see the angry face of Leah Clearwater.
She bounds up to me, seemingly in much discomfort.
Her hair seems knatted to her forehead, on account of that shes sweating profusely. She looks pale and seems as if shes suffering from abdominal pain.
I wrinkle my nose as she comes closer; she looks like shit and smells worse.
Its somewhat like those mutts but not as strong. Then again, it could just be from them; its not just them thats been following me, its their stench too.
"You've got some fucking nerve showing your face around here, Cullen!" The hisses, sizing me up with her puffed out chest.
"Im not a Cullen. Im a Hale. " I reply in a put off tone, only somewhat giving her my attention. I dont really having the energy for this, for an argument.
"I dont give a fuck who you are! What I care about however, is why the fuck you're here?"
"Im not looking for a fight, Leah."
"Oh no, you're just looking for a chance to ruin her some more, right? To fucking re-break her?" She regards me with a look of utter distaste, flaring her nose and giving me a once over with a scowl. "I mean, really. What the fuck is wrong with you? Its not enough that you left her here on the precipice of fucking death, huh? No you just had to come back and push her.."
"Who are you judge me, mutt! Im not here to fucking please you and quite frankly its none of your damn business why im here!
"It is my business, you selfish bitch. You left her, like she was nothing. Like she...didnt...matter," each word is spat with so much distaste, I cant help but flinch. "We picked up the pieces. We helped her breathe when all she wanted to do is suffocate. So you tell its not my business..."
Im about to retort, with what, im not too sure; before I can though, Sam finally decides to make his presence known.
Apparently to both our dismay.
"Leah, I think we should talk."
"You can go fuck yourself, Samuel! I dont answer to you or anyone for that matter. So why dont you and your little lap doggies go pay fetch?"
"Leah," he scowls at the said women as I stand there with a bored expression. "Im only trying to help. Things are-"
"I dont give a shit what things are or what you have to say! Last chance," her eyes become emblazed," both of you fuck off... or things are going to get really ugly."
The smell intensifies as she sizes him up. And Briefly I wonder if I should just continue on with what I was doing and just let them have at it.
"Leah," he tries again, placing a hand on her shoulder which only serves to make her body tremble more. She suddenly whimpers as she doubles over, holding herself. "I can help. Just let me help you, Leah."
"No," she barks, slapping his hand away and stumbling backwards. "You stay...you stay the hell away from me!" Theres a change in body temperature as she stumbles past me; an unusual amount of coldness and sweat radiating off her.
He watches her leave, and no soon after, his little puppies follow suit. His eyes flicker with worry as Leah begins fighting off the two dogs, eventually giving in, before they flash towards my own; he squints at me and I wrinkle my nose. "You know the rules, leech. You're not allowed on our land unless-"
"-Yeah, yeah," I wave him off dismissively. "Not unless my coven leader talks with you first. I got it, mutt."
"Watch yourself, Cullen. You're overstepping your boundaries, you're the outsider. This is our territory now.."
"-You know what? I dont have time for this. We'll be-"
"-R-rose?" I immediately flinch at her perfect voice. I can tell theres several emotions playing within herself and even on her face, just by the sound of it.
Stiffening, my head whips to my left, where an awestruck Bella is standing a few feet away from the theatre, with Jacob swaying a little whiles back. My breath catches as our eyes meet; hers blinking rapidly as if shes trying to understand what shes seeing.
Fuck.
I could run. As soon as she blinks I could run, but I dont think can. Or rather, I dont want to.
Im just tired of running.
Maybe its time to just relent?
Maybe I should just take heed to Alice's words?
I could change things. Just by standing here, I could change the course of everything.
The only question is, if I choose so, would she let me?
Would she embrace it, embrace me after everything I've done?
"R-rose," she slurs again, seemingly disoriented. I can see the rapid rise and fall of her of her chest; shes sweating and hyperventilating.
Im at a lose as she stumbles forward a bit. Should I stay or should I go?
No more thoughts are necessary when her eyes begin to roll back, just as her head lulls. I catch her before she hits the ground, carefully cradling her in my arms.
I let out a breath I didnt know I was holding.
This feeling is...complete. Whole, something people search a whole lifetime for, trying to have it, to attain it, but never truly accomplishing that.
Have you ever misplaced something; something so simple like a book or picture? And you find it after hours of of searching, thinking it will never be found, until it pops up in the least likely place? You know that feeling that accompanies the relief? The feeling of utter joy?
Thats exactly what im feeling right now. I havent felt so many emotions at once in a long time, not since she, this girl, first made her mark in my life; I embrace her tighter, completely forgetting about Balto.
"You've over stayed your welcome, leech. Its time-"
"-Im not leaving-"
"-The hell you arent! My territory, my rules. I could rip you apart if I so wish it," he snarls, somewhat heaving. Im not at all worried about his threats, ive got more important things to worry about.
Like her.
"No, im not. And instead of making threats, perhaps maybe you should worry more about Jacob over there, stumbling about like a drunk." My nose wrinkles towards my far left, in the direction of the said boy.
As if he just now notices Jacob's presence, his eyes flicker in the direction I hinted at and he puffs out the air residing in his heaving chest.
His lips purse in concern before he utters an," this isnt over, leech. I'll be back within the hour or so. I suggest you settle whatever matters you have with the girl..."
*T.I.M*
Groaning and twisting my body slightly I slowly open my eyes and im accompanied by darkness. Only this time its not that infinite darkness that took a hold of me before...
"Rose.."
My body flings upward on its on accord as I try to fathom what happened to me.
Flashback.
"Tsk, what a wiener," Jacob shakes his head at the retreating form of Mike. I dont know if its from the movie or if he sick, but id have to agree with with him.
"Ya know, you could of stayed. Gotten that nine bucks of top quality cinema action. At least let me believe my money wasnt wasted at all."
"And what," he grins," miss major marshmallow puking his guts out? I think not..."
"You dont even know if thats what he's doing, smart guy."
His only reaction is a raise of his eyebrow, just before ushering me towards the men's bathroom. He opens it slightly and I cringe at the sound of lungs being hacked up.
"Thats gross," I mutter, stepping back and trying to get the sounds out of my head.
"Yup, all the more reason for you to hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Cause really? That movie sucks, and here he is, cringing and the like. Thats so weak.." He rewards me with a somewhat incredulous look thats accompanied by a grin, which I return as I shake my head.
"I feel bad though," I begin, completely waving off his comment; im sure he noticed. "Must be that flu," carefully a very warm hand slips into my own. Its comforting but i'll deny it, deny him," thats going around.."
"What," he begins in a somewhat hurt and irritable tone as I pull away," I cant hold your hand?"
With a sigh, I settle myself on the lower steps leading towards the upper theatre and fidget.
"You can but," another sigh,"I just dont want you to think it'll mean something more than what it really is.."
"And what it is, Bella? What's this," he motions between the two of us as he settles next to me. Theres an overwhelming amount of determination stirring and his eyes, making them swirl intensely.
"Friendship, Jake. Its, we're friends..."
Theres a pause before his eyes bore into mine with something unknown, they then flicker ahead with a click of his tongue.
Its quiet here, in the lobby, so quiet you can still hear the movie playing in the background.
"Friends, huh," he repeats more to himself, seeming put off by the word; without warning, his hands gather my own once again.
"Jacob," I try to protest, pulling away.
"-Bella, just relax." He pulls me closer, gently, and.. I like it. I like his warmth but I hate this; I know what he wants to say, I know what he wants from me and I hate it. I hate that I cant give him that, be what he wants me to be, and I hate how determined he is to ruin this. To ruin everything he worked so hard to try to rebuild.
"I want you to tell me something, honestly," I grimace at the word, at how soft his hands are.
"What do you want from me, Jake?" Its comes out bitterly, annoyance clearly evident in my voice; he either doesnt notice or simply doesnt care.
"You like me, right?"
"Yes, Jacob," I sigh irritably.
"Better than that guy," he nods his head towards the bathroom.
"Yes, you already know I do, Jacob."
He nods his head, thinking, trying to form his next thoughts.
"Better than any guys...or girls?"
I scrunch up my face at this. What kind of question is that?
"I dont like girls, Jacob. I just liked.." My voice trails off, unable to speak her name and with a sigh, he notices. He always notices how I seem to shut down whenever shes mentioned. "It doesnt even matter anymore. We're friends, Jacob-"
"-And thats it," he murmurs my last thought matter- of- factly. Im not sure how to respond; if I should agree and most likely have him pull away, or if I should disagree and get his hopes all high?
I dont say anything.
"Thats fine, ya know. Im happy with knowing you like me best and think im sort of... beautiful," he nudges my shoulders and I cant help but smile. "I am still prepared and fully intend on being annoyingly persistent, though."
"And somehow, I dont put it past you," I chuckle before becoming more serious. " Im..im never going to change, Jacob. Im broken, damaged goods. Nobody would want that..."
"I would," his face seems thoughtful and eyes eyes very intense. "And I do. You're not damaged, Bella. You just had you're heart broken.."
"Jacob, please..." Slowly that familiar ache around the shell, that was my heart, begins to fester.
"-Its fine. You dont ever have to talk about it. But just know that you dont deserve this. What they did to you. What she did to you. You deserve more," his hand squeezes my own," you deserve happiness. I can be that, if you let go, and let me in."
And he could. Im more than sure Jacob could make me happy, if I let him.
"I would never let you down, Bella. I wont ever disappoint you, I promise.."
"Im not some car you can just fix up and expect to just run right," I sniffle, willing the tears away that are threatening to spill.
"No, you're not a car. You're Bella. Shy, awkward, clumsy, Bella. The same Bella ive been waiting for since the mud pies and the same Bella I'll continue to wait for. Im never going to give up..."
"Good," I sniffle once more," I dont want you too." He beams at this, one of those mega watt movie star smiles that makes you giddy inside, and I cant help but smile, albeit shyly, before turning away.
"Ive got all the time in the world," a warm palm rest against my cheek, coaxing my gaze to meet his own.
It makes me nervous, the way he's staring at me and slowly leaning forward. Heart beating through my ears, I hold my breath.
I should let go. I should...embrace this.
"-Welp, I've got to go home," Mike interrupts, growing paler and paler by each second.
I watch as something flickers in Jacobs eyes; he blinks a few times, in a way that says he clearly irritated, and then settles his gaze on Mike.
The said boy begins to fidget under Jacobs unrelenting glare; shifted his gaze between mine and his, as if im suppose to know the solution.
"What? What's your deal man!"
"My deal, man, is you," Jacobs up and on his feet in seconds, trembling in sizing him up."Feeling sick? Then maybe you should of stayed home," he manages through clenched teeth.
"I figured it would of passed by now, so back off!" Mike pushes against him, which doesnt serve to help the situation.
"Obviously you figured wrong. But i'll make it easier for you. I'll send you to the doctor myself!"
"Whoa, Jake, calm down," I grasp for the taunt fist trembling and more than likely itching to meet Mikes face head on. "Jake, you're hot. Like really hot. Are you okay?" I move my hand to his forehead and hiss at how our temperatures differ. "Jacob, you're burning up..."
"I dont know what's happening," he sways a bit and then lets out a painful yelp, hunching over.
"Jacob!"
"I have to..to," he stumbles before bracing himself against the wall, slowly retreating. I follow suit.
"Okay, just relax. You stay here while I get the car.."
"No, I just...i'll just walk. I need some air.."
"Jacob, I dont-"
"-I said im fine!" He growls, eyes glinting with something fierce, predatorial. It startles me and he backpedals, softening his features for a minute, only to have them contort in pain yet again.
This time he doesnt give me a chance to comfort him, to make sure he's okay, he just clumsily runs out the door.
I run after him of course; peering to my left and then my right, finding him and yet, also having the wind knocked out of me.
I literally have to tell myself to breathe, to think, to do anything besides stand on the side walk, swaying like a drunk and more than likely looking like an idiot.
Standing across the street, very much looking intimidating, yet still so fiercely beautiful, even from behind, is a ghost from my past. The same ghost I've literally been trying to kill myself over, just to get her to see me, to come back.
And here she is.
I open my mouth to say something, anything, but my mouth goes dry.
"This cant be happening. Its...its a trick. A hallucination as always."
I blink and rub my eyes to make this point clear, only, she doesnt disappear, like I assume she would.
No, she turns around, as if she senses my presence, or as if someone uttered her name.
And then I realize it was me. I had called out to her.
"Breathe, Bella. Just...brea-" And as I will myself to do this, my legs begin to buckle; the world around me seems to shatter, seems to turn into darkness.
End Flashback
My hand immediately settles on my head, trying to fully gain my barrings and figure out where I am.
The soft fabric between my fingers lets me know that im laying on a bed. If its my bed, im not so sure.
"You're home," a voice, a very velvety like voice murmurs," you're safe."
It has a southern drawl to it, which only means one thing.
"J-Jasper?"
My eyes focus on the figure perched near the window, leaning out somewhat, as the moons rays illuminate his features; the pained yet beautiful features standing out so radiantly.
It makes my stomach hurt. Ive almost forgotten how breathtakingly beautiful they are.
"Yes, its me, Bella. You're safe now.."
Safe?
Isnt that the same reason why they left, to make sure im safe?
I scoff.
Ignoring his words, as well as his presence, I make my way towards my door, stumbling slightly.
"Dont," I hiss out before he even thinks of helping. I turn my head and sure enough, he's standing to his feet.
"Maybe you should...," he stops midsentence as I throw him a look.
Just who he is to tell me what I should and shouldnt do?
The look says my exact thoughts. He shuts up, forming his lips into a thin line as the pained look intensifies. He opts for staring out the window when my gaze doesnt relent.
Sighing softly, I straighten myself before walking out the door, headed straight towards the stairs.
I hear voices, three or four from what I can tell and their all sinfully familiar. Slowly and as quietly as possible, I descend the stairs, stopping just at the bottom, and perking my ears, focusing on the conversation taking place in the kitchen.
"You see, this is why I said we should of left the same day we got here. I knew this was going to happen. What the hell were you thinking!"
"I hadnt actually planned on seeing her, it just...my feet landed me there.."
"Oh, right, yeah. 'Your feet just landed you there'," comes Edwards mocking tone. "Thats bullshit, Rosalie and know you it. God, is it so hard for you to think? To use your brain for once? What hell did you think was going to happen when you decided to take a casual stroll down the street-"
"-Fuck you, Edward! This, the whole reason why we all left in the first place is all your fault. You did this, you selfishly forced this upon everybody, so dont you dare sit there and try to act all righteous!"
"It was for the best!"
"Fuck whats best! Ive lost out on months because of you. Jeopardized the most important thing in my life, because you have some weird self righteous complex. But not anymore, Ive tolerated this for far too long. Its time I start, 'using my head' as you put it..."
Unconciously, my heart starts pounding both in my chest and ears at her word.
"The most important thing.."
"And what about Sam, huh?..."
Sam? Whats does Sam have to do with anything?
"This is their territory. You really think he's-"
I furrow my brows at the unusually pregnant pause.
"Their territory? And really think he's what? What the hell was he going to say?"
"Bellaaaa," Alice's sing song voice interrupts my thoughts. That pounding in my ears gets louder at the realization of being caught. "Its okay. You can come out, sweetie."
I blush, hating the fact that I missed her voice. Missed how kind and caring she always was.
Seemed anyway, because if you really cared for someone, you would never leave them. And that thought immediate washes away whatever blush that was marring my face.
Inhaling deeply, I make my way towards the kitchen and release the breath I hadnt realized I was still holding. Aside from the slight purple tinge under their eyes,(Rosalie's standing out more prominately) they all still look the same. Breathtakingly beautiful.
And I hate it. I hate how perfect they are. I hate how much my body has suffered since thier abscence, while theirs is still the same. Cold, pale, and perfect.
"Bella," my eyes flicker to the ballerina like girl, who's cautiously walking towards me; theres a cautious, almost meek smile playing on her lips, almost similar to the ones she gave right before she impaled me in her arms.
Almost.
That smile she would give was radiant. It made me smile inreturn, made me want to seek her, but not this. This smile makes me angry. Surely she doesnt honestly expect me to coming running in her arms after what she did? Cause its definitely not happening.
No matter how much I really want to.
The look I give is similiar to the one I aimed at Jasper. It sets her straight, makes her flee away, makes her understand what she did to me. And im grateful.
Almost forgetting Rosalie's presence, my body starts to respond to the heaviness in the air. Its thick with something, anger I suppose? Whether its my anger, im not sure, but its accompanied by another feeling.
Calmness.
My eyes silently seek out hers, and god, if I dont just want to fall into her. To have her catch me and tell me its alright. Its foolish, I know.
"We'll just uh...give you two a moment," my eyes never stray away from Rosalie's as Alice ushers Edward and herself out the kitchen.
The air shift then; its stagnant with unspoken tension and yearning.
I just want to fall apart.
"Bella, I-"
"-Ive spent months," I begin, cutting her off," thinking, dreaming about this moment. Wondering and trying to figure out what I would say to you if you ever came back. And yet, here you are, in all your glory, right before my eyes and the only thing I can think to say is why?"
Furrowing her brows, she opens her mouth and I await for something, anything to be said, but nothing comes.
I huff indignantly; after months of nothing being said, no call, no letter, you'd think she'd have something to say right?
"Why Rosalie," I continue after silence becomes too much. " After all this time, after literally trying to kill myself, do you come back? Why not then, when it mattered, when I needed you the most?"
That seems to trigger something. The nothingness that was previously marring her face just contorted into something fierce. What is it? Anger? Determination? Im not sure, all I know is that it excites me. It shouldnt, but it does.
"I needed," she frowns a bit, seeming somewhat disgruntled," I needed to know. To make sure you were safe. I saw you...you promised me, Bella. You said nothing reckless.."
I promised? I did no such thing, she promised me!
"No, Rose, I didnt. You promised me. You said," I shaking my head as the anger begins to flare," so many times you said, you promised that I was yours. That I was everything. That...that I was your forever! You lied, you left me-"
"-Because," that fight, that own little flame inside her seems to be flaring up as well," I thought," a shake of her head, right before her fingers glide through her tresses. "No, they thought it was for the best. They thought you needed a chance. A chance at a real life, a normal life, but I didnt. Apart of me wanted to believe that they were right, that...that what they wanted me to do was for the best, but I couldnt fully fathom it. I didnt want to comprehend it, to try to understand, because doing so meant losing you.."
"And yet you did."
"-I thought I was doing the right thing!"
"-And you thought wrong. You left me, Rose. You lo-"
"-You kissed him," she says out of nowhere. Im not sure who or what shes referring to, neither am I sure of where it came from.
"What are you talking about," my face shrunches in confusing and she regards me with an unknown look.
"Jacob, you kissed him." Its not at all a question, not even a statement, its more like an accusation.
"I didnt kiss anybody," I hiss matter-of-factly, noting the way she seems to flinch.
"You wanted to," her eyes stray away from my own at this new accusation and I cant help but feel like Ive just been slapped in the face. Who does she think she is?
"What I do and what I want is no longer your concern. You dont care, you left, like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. You dont get to-" I gasp, unable to finish my rant because suddenly, she pressed up against me with her full, cold, tantilizing lips caressing my own.
Im stuck, blinking and knowing full well that I should push her away, but I dont. I cant, I cant even think. It feels so good, having her here, so close, so desperately searching, prodding, as if she needs me. As if i'll disappear if she lets go. It feels so good, so right, but yet so wrong. And it hurts. Having her this close hurts.
Gathering whatever strength I have left, I push away from her, gasping and gaping at her incredulously.
Why? How-what gives her the right?
Before I can stop myself, my right hand flings out in hopes of connecting with her face; she catches it of course, eying me, pleading me with her dull eyes to understand.
I cant help but scoff.
"I wanted you to be happy," she whispers, eyes softening, almost becoming glazed like, as if she just may cry. "I wanted you to be safe, alive..."
"-I am alive," I whisper back, gaze to the floor. "And im...im happy," they blink a few times before meeting her gaze head on," Im happy and im alive. Im alive, Rose! I survived, I can...I can live without you! Me standing here is proof of that," I bellow out, not really sure if I mean it, if im trying to convince her or myself.
I dont mean it, im sure. I could never fully live without her, but she doesnt know that. I just want her to know what she did to me. I just want to hurt her like she did me, like they all did.
"Can you really," she murmurs in a voice that doesnt seem to be her own. The hand grasping my wrist softens, loosens until its dangling limply by my side. Her hand now rest against my heated skin, coaxing the tears, that now seem to be freely falling, away." Can you truly live without me, Bella? Cause... I cant. I dont think I could live without you. Ive tried, but I cant..."
"You left," I say agian, "you had a choice-"
"-I did-"
"-You could of stayed, and yet you didnt. You had a choice and you left.."
"-That...I did. I had and I made a choice, a very hard choice, between you and my family. And it was a foolish choice. A mistake. Choosing them, my family, my lineage, the reason for my existance, over you..." Each word hits me like a ton of bricks. I should be mad, part of me knows and wants to be, but for once I understand. She chose her family over me, and it hurts, still does, but I get it. Asking someone to choose between the two is a bit selfish.
If I were in her shoes, could I have done the same thing? Im not sure. But then again, that brings about a new revelation. If they are her family, the ones she loves and chose, then what am I? She chose her family, and obviously I dont fit in that catagory, so what was I? What am I? Where does that leave me?
"-I get it," I mumble, cutting off my thoughts; she eyes me with curiousity. "You chose your family over me. Its simple. I get it, I understand. I never realized how selfish it was of me to make you choose between us. You chose and as much as I want to be mad, I cant.."
"-It was a foolish choice, Bella. One that I wish I could take back. But I couldnt forsake them, my father, my mother, no matter how much they hurt me, I couldnt leave them," she pleads, eyes brimming with unshed tears," they didnt even give me a chance. They all took his side, they all agreed with him and it hurt. They hurt me so bad, Bella. But I couldnt, I couldnt forsake them. Or at least.. I thought..."
I nod my head, unsure of what else to do or say.
"I didnt want to hurt anymore. They forced this on me and I hate them for it. I hate them for making me suffer, for making you suffer. I had to come back, I wanted," she shakes her head," no, I want to make it right. But im afraid. And you are.. happy now, are you not?"
"I..I am," she frowns at this," and yet, I am not." She regards me with hopeful eyes, ones I should deny, but I cannot find it within myself to do so."They are your family, Rosalie. Something...I am obviously not," I voice my thoughts from before, watching as several emotions play across her face.
"-Bella.."
"-Im not sure what I was, am to you, Rose. And I think thats what hurt the most.
"-Bella, you're everything. You're everything their not, everything I wish I was. You're just...everything. The most important thing.."
"The most important thing..."
"But in the woods. You said-"
"-Lies, Bella," she shakes her head," I lied. And you believed me so easily. You should of known better. You should know me by know. Know and recognize the truth over the lies..."
"But..it just doesnt makes sense. Im human..nothing-"
"-No, Bella," that determination is back," You're everything." She repeats, gathering my hands in her own and pecking the backs softly. "Everything..."
And to both of our surprise, I do something I hadnt intend on doing, I blush.
And I hate it. I should be mad at her, scowling, not blushing!
"You cant,"I begin, fighting off my blush, and not really knowing what to say,"you cant just leave me, and then come back, expecting everything to be the same. To fall back in place.."
She fixes my gaze, which was previously preoccupied with the clock to my right, so that it now meets her own.
"I know. And I dont expect anything. I dont even expect you to forgive me. Im hoping in time that you will, but I dont expect it. And perhaps, maybe im hoping, just a little, that theres still something here," her hand flattens against my chest, where my heart is currently beating like a drum. "For me..."
" I need...I need time, Rose.." My gaze shies away again, and I plead with my heart, begging it to stop thrumming so hard.
"Of course," I hear her say," In time. Always in time.."
She stiffens suddenly, eyes focused on something behind me, but as I turn to see what has her attention, im met with nothing. Theres nothing there.
"Whats wrong," I ask, genuinely concerned by the look on her face. Her brows are furrowed and it looks as if she wants to snarl.
"Nothing," she finally says, giving me her full attention; im not buying it. "Its just a complication. Another reason why I hadnt come back, sooner anyway. It just wasnt really an option.."
"What do mean?"
"I cant really explain, at least not right now. I gotta...I gotta go.."
"W-what?"
She just got here and shes already talking about leaving me yet again?
"You're leaving me...again?" Theres a look on her face right now. A solemn look maybe? A look of guilt? Im not sure.
"This is no longer our territory, Bella. I cant just come and go as I please-"
"-What the hell does that even mean?"
"Its not," she sighs," its not my place to say. I'll come back though, okay? After I talk to Carlisle, I'll come back. If you so wish it...?"
If I so wish it? Do I want her to come back?
Of course I do!
"How long will you be gone?" I say, neither confirming nor denying my want for her to stay.
She notices of course. She knows damn well that I want her to come back, the smile playing on her lips tells me so.
"I dont know. A few days, a week maybe?"
"Thats too long..."
"I'll try to make it short then," she chuckles before becoming more serious. "I'll make it up to you, Bella. Whatever it takes, I'll make it up to you. But for now, I really must go.." The hand that was caressing my face is now gone, leaving nothing but warmth.
I already miss her coldness.
"-I really hate to break up your little reunion, but uh...Sam's not really being a good sport.." Alice says out of nowhere, making me that much more confused.
What does Sam have to do with anything?
I look towards Rose for answers and the only thing I get is a nod of the head, aimed at Alice.
What the hells going on?
Not even a moment later, Sam comes barging in looking rather irritated.
"Times up, Le-," he stops midsentence as he notices my presence and the only thing I can do is furrow my brows in confusion. "You've over stayed your welcome..."
"-They're more than welcome to stay here for as long as they want," I find myself saying; just who the hell is he anyway?
"This has nothing to do with you, Swan. I'll handle it.."
"-What, like you handled Jarod and Embry," I snarl," and wheres Jacob?"
"Jacobs...being taken care of. Theres nothing for you to worry about.."
"The hell there isnt," my anger begins to flare again at all these secrets. He knows, they all know something that their not telling me. A cool hand gently grasp my forearm and I look towards Rosalie questionably, only to have her shake her head.
"We're leaving Sam. No need to get your panties in a bunch. Alice, Jasper, Edward..." One by one they all make their way past us, wrinkling their noses at Sam and head straight towards the back door.
I watch, along with Sam as they all make their way out the door. Rosalie stops however;eying me with a look of reassurance, one that tells me that she'll keep her promise. She'll come back.
Exhaling deeply, I nod my head in understanding. She leaves hesitantly, to my dismay, and I turn my head in hopes of furthering my inquires about Jacob only Sam isnt here.
He's gone.
"What the hell?"
A/N: So there ya go. Rosalie is back, well not fully but ya know what I mean. I had originally planned on following the the original plot, not having her come back til the end, but you guys begged and I delivered. Like I said, I aim to please. Now since I caved in to your desires, I have to figure out how the rest of this will play out. The whole Laurant scene, etc, but I have a fair idea so no worries.
A few answers to questions im pretty sure i'll be asked.
How come Rosalie was able to see a vision of Bella and Jacob kissing, if Jacob's "illness" set in? Its simple, at the time of the vision, Jacobs "illness" hadnt set in yet. He was still plan ol Jacob.
Any other questions? Suggestions for the next chapters?