- Chapter 2: School
Thursday, June 21, 2001.
Once I'd started my second year of middle school, I began to seriously think about my adventure in time, and I wanted to know in particular why a guy by the name of Itsuki Koizumi had gotten involved in all that. I eventually tracked him down and gathered an explanation, though it wasn't at all what I was expecting. He turned out to be some kind of esper, and that only deepened the mystery. I then decided to leave that matter alone. I was going to have enough problems with the upcoming move.
My father was unexpectedly offered a position at a local garage that had just opened up, and it looked like my mother was set on one particular house in the area that she liked. This meant that I was busy preparing for the move. This also meant that my opportunities to walk home with Ryoko Asakura were drawing to a close.
Asakura is a delightfully charming person. Had I not been a trouble-making jerk, I think I would have become a better friend to her, but I think that might just be the sentiment speaking. In retrospect, her charm is really her one redeeming quality, and I can recall with some annoyance the many times she insulted my intelligence by looking down on me in certain subtle ways. It made it hard for me to relate to her, and I'm frankly a little surprised she took such a long time to start hating me.
It was really more like a cat and mouse relationship in those days, and I sometimes wonder which one of us was which. Speaking of cats, I had a cat, and that didn't pass Asakura's notice, one day as we were walking home from school.
"Okay, I gotta ask," she told me. "Where did you find that cat?"
"The cat?" I answered. "Sister found him."
"Yeah, right," she said, very skeptical.
"Hey," I said, "don't ask me about things I don't know about."
"I'd like to have a cat," she said.
"I'll bet you would," I remarked.
I felt some special connection to the cat. It was just one of the many weird things in my life that I didn't quite understand, but that's the fun thing about the human mind. Long after space and time stop being a mysterious frontier, the human mind will continue to puzzle us.
"The cat special?" I then asked.
"I love cats," she flatly stated.
"I'd let you have him," I said, "but my mother would probably kill me."
"I doubt that," she sweetly retorted.
I couldn't figure out what she liked about the cat, but then that reminded me of Koizumi, and I mentioned, "I met this weird guy the other day."
"Who?" she asked.
"Koizumi," I replied. "He's totally your type."
"What makes you say that?" she asked.
"Cause he talks the same way you do," I answered. It's true, too. Koizumi has this weirdly casual way of approaching everything that seems really in tune with the way Asakura speaks.
"What makes you think he's weird?" she asked.
"Well..." I said, marshaling my thoughts. "He's a total geek, but the girls fawn over him. He talks and acts really nice about the most rudely personal things I've ever heard. Plus on top of being a close-talker, he has these really weird mannerisms. You'd swear he was some kind of foreigner. I thought he was a time traveler till he told me what he really was."
"I see," she said. "That reminds me. You told Suzumiya about Asahina."
"Yeah, sort of," I admitted. "I didn't mention her name."
"Why did you have to go and do that?" she complained.
"What's wrong with it?" I asked. "It's not like she really believes me. It's just a story to her."
"And you had to tell her?" she persisted.
I quipped, "I couldn't very well tell my sister or my mother. That would be like posting it on the internet."
Asakura apparently didn't know about my internet post, because she then complained, "That's what I don't get. What did you expect? You want sympathy? I can be sympathetic."
"Are you making a pass at me?" I asked, only half-serious.
"No," she replied, a little defensive.
"Don't get the wrong idea about me," I said, continuing to be half-serious. "I mean, I like you but I don't want to sleep with you."
"Where did you start talking like that?" she complained. "You're a very naughty boy."
It was nice that she wasn't taking me seriously, and I liked how she could feign surprise and playfully object in this way. Even so, it occurred to me that I really should take her question seriously, so I thought about it for a moment.
"I think it was more than sympathy," I said. "I think I really was curious. I mean, I really had no idea how much she'd remember."
"Interesting," she said.
"That same year," I added, "my dad traded in the old car for a new one."
"What kind?" she asked.
"That's just the thing," I answered. "I don't remember. All I can recall was that it was one of those beat up four-doors from the early eighties. Not like we ever used it much, but I can't even remember what color it was."
"I see," she acknowledged.
I then remarked, "I guess I shouldn't expect Haruhi to remember some group of people standing around on a grassy hillside from that long ago."
"You do have a morbid curiosity," she agreed.
"Yeah," I said. "That was also the same day her mother went to go live with Haruhi's grandmother. She really hated it."
"Why is that?"
"She said it was boring."
"She says that about everything."
"Yes, she does. It's really irritating."
The thing that irritated me the most was that it all defied explanation. It continued this way until I became willing to embrace the notion of cognitive psychology, which I began taking seriously years later. And even then, I was so torn between several different explanations that I continued being at least a little irritated.
"If you ask me," Asakura continued, "she's the one who's boring."
"She gets these crazy ideas," I said. "That's kind of interesting."
"Yeah," she added, "if it weren't the same crazy ideas she's always had."
"Oh, right," I said, remembering that Asakura was an alien. "It must be like watching one of those shows that's in reruns, for you."
"It's worse than that," she said. "It's like watching a new season of a show where they decide to shoot the same script over and over and over. It's damnably monotonous."
"I don't always do the same things, do I?" I asked.
She smiled and said, "I've never been bored with you outside of those times where..."
"What?" I asked.
She paused for a moment and then said, "Let's just say that Suzumiya can really ruin your life. Enough said."
"She definitely can do that."
"Knowing you, you'll probably start dating her in another year or two."
Dating? A freak like Haruhi? The thought was absurd.
"You silly idiot," she added.
- x -
Friday, July 13, 2001.
Summer came early that year, and I was feeling pretty good even though I'd scored fairly low on the first semester tests. Even so, I decided to get a head start on being lazy at the new house. My grades were at about the same level as a guy by the name of Kunikida. He was basically a big idiot like me, so he could sympathize. We were often singled out by the teachers, and we liked a lot of the same TV shows.
I had invited him over, and we were watching TV, when I thought I heard him comment on this sport we were watching.
"What was that?" I asked. "You say something?"
"Michael Jackson," he replied.
"Oh," I said. "Say what?"
He answered, "You asked me who that guy reminded me of."
"Oh, right," I said.
I had just asked him about Koizumi, but Kunikida had seemed like he wasn't really paying attention. It turned out that he was simply lost in thought. He's kind of funny that way, sometimes.
He then complained, "You really should pay attention when you ask people questions."
"Huh?" I said.
"Very funny," he commented.
I then stated, "Somehow, I can't really see Koizumi as that good a dancer."
"Yeah," he said, "I wasn't really thinking along those lines."
"More like," I guessed, "he's tall and handsome, and the girls constantly stare?"
"That's right," he answered.
I muttered, "There's something really wrong with that way of comparing people."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well..." I replied. "I've always sort of admired Michael Jackson for his idealistic approach to things. To hear you comparing a freak like Koizumi to him is kind of..."
He started laughing, then said, "Michael Jackson is your idol?"
"Okay," I said, "that's enough about that."
Koizumi had started to get into the habit of visiting me, even though he was in an entirely different class. He seemed to be under the impression that I could relate to his situation. I mean, I did travel through time once, but that isn't quite the same as being an esper.
"Yeah," Kunikida added, "anything related to that Koizumi guy is too weird for conversation."
"You have no idea," I muttered.
I heard the doorbell and got up from the couch to go answer the door. Standing there was Asakura and a strange companion.
"Hello," she said. "I brought over a friend."
To look at her, I wasn't sure whether this companion of hers was a girl since they were both wearing somewhat casual attire in preparation for the summer.
"Ah, good," I said. "Come on in."
"Special occasion?" Kunikida asked, approaching the entrance.
The two entered, while I explained, "No. It just occurred to me that Miss Asakura hasn't seen the new house yet."
"Who's your friend?" he asked.
"This is Nagato," Asakura answered. "Pay no attention to her."
"Hello," I greeted Nagato, briefly wondering again whether this glasses-wearing person was really a girl.
"You'll have to forgive her," Asakura said. "She doesn't like speaking much."
"Really?" I asked.
"That's right," Nagato answered.
"See?" Asakura said. She then looked around briefly and stated, "Oh, I see the new digs are... very familiar..."
"Say what?" Kunikida asked.
"Never mind her," I said.
"She's a freak, too?" he asked.
"Let's all go watch some TV, huh?" I said, about to go close the door.
"You have any books?" Nagato softly asked.
"Books?" I asked, not sure I heard that right.
"Yes," she answered.
"You like books?" I asked her.
"Okay. Okay," Asakura interrupted us. "That's enough of that."
I wasn't sure what to make of Asakura's reaction, but then I began to recognize that this was one of those never-ending things she hated to witness.
"Jeez," she said. "Just go get some books for her, already."
"I just asked a simple question," I softly complained.
"Well..." Asakura said, about to explain.
Haruhi then appeared a moment later at the open door, holding a box in her hands.
"Hey!" she said.
"Yeah, hi," I answered. "What are you doing here?"
"I can't visit?" she asked.
"Yes," I answered, "but it is customary to..."
"Happy birthday!" she proclaimed, giving me the box she was holding and walking on inside like she lived there.
I responded, "Thanks, but..."
"You're welcome," she interrupted.
"...it's not my birthday," I said.
"Whoa!" she said, looking around. "Check out the new house!"
"Sheesh," I said.
She then smoothly said, "I know it's not your birthday, dumbass. Just open the box. It's a house-warming gift."
"Oh," I said.
She then remarked, "You really need to work on your sense of humor."
"Isn't that something...?" I started to ask, but then I looked in the box and pulled out a book. "A book?"
"You don't want it?" she asked.
"That's not it," I answered, "I just didn't expect..."
"Sheesh," she complained. "That's gratitude for you."
I handed the book to Nagato and scowled at Haruhi.
"You checked it out from the library, right?" I asked.
"No," she replied. "Have you ever seen me in a library?"
"Oh," I said. "You have a point, there."
She then explained, "Actually, my mother gave me that book a couple months ago."
I asked, "And that's your idea of a house-warming gift?"
"Hey!" Asakura said. "Let's go watch some TV."
"In a moment," I told her.
Haruhi then grudgingly obliged, "Okay, I'll give you some cookies. Sheesh."
"Thank you," I said.
She added, "They're leftovers, though."
"Damn, you're cheap," I complained.
She then said, "I don't recall ever getting a house-warming gift from you."
I answered, "That's because you've been living here a bit longer than I have."
Kunikida remarked, "This never ends, does it?"
"Enjoy it while it lasts," Asakura said. "This is the relatively good part."
It then struck me that in the two years I had come to know Haruhi, this was the first conversation we had had that didn't involve aliens or time travelers. It had seemed like a fairly ordinary conversation, though I had the same general sense of her trying to impress her mother (my latest weird explanation of her mentality).
She then frowned and complained, "Is this a party or a funeral? Jeez."
- x -
Saturday, April 6, 2002.
Between then and the start of the next year, Haruhi began calling me on a more regular basis, recounting crazy stunts of hers for me. Most of it conflicted with much of the psychology I had just studied, and that gave me the amusing hobby of discovering how wrong people could be about the mind. It was a useful unintended side effect of my studies, and it impressed upon me the value of merely observing without bias.
I kept my eyes peeled for Mikuru Asahina, but she didn't seem to want to have anything to do with this time period. Then again, I didn't exactly get around much that year, and it's possible she simply visits places like the library on occasion. When I thought about it, I realized that Asahina could have come sneaking into this house in the middle of the night for all I knew, and that made me realize that it was somewhat familiar. It hadn't struck me at the time, but this was the same exact house as that first house I had gone to in my adventure through time. The thought was a little scary, and I worried once that I might have to confront myself (though I told myself that that would probably just cause another time quake, so that was highly unlikely).
Having endured the entrance ceremonies and various other boring rituals, I found myself in a conversation with Haruhi on the telephone again. This time, she simply arranged a meeting with me at the park near the train station. That was the same place I had encountered Koizumi during that trip through time, and it had started me wondering about Yuki Nagato (since the whole point of that side trip, now that I thought about it, was because Asahina wanted to avoid dealing with Nagato).
I took an immediate liking to Nagato, and I wondered what it was that made Asahina dislike her so much. Whenever I felt agitated by school or by friends, I found a good remedy for that was for me to go visit Nagato and have a short word or two with her. She never voiced objections to my weird questions, though she did sometimes indicate some subtle displeasure. She seemed very cold in her approach toward things, though I found her to be amiable enough at the time. I certainly never regretted meeting her, and it didn't even start to hit me until later that Nagato was also an alien.
Having aliens and an esper hanging around with me was somewhat amusing, and I often wondered what Haruhi's reaction to them would be. This was the kind of thing I was thinking about, as I sat under one of the covered areas, waiting for Haruhi to show up. When she did appear, I called out to her.
"Hey," I said.
"There you are," she said. "I've been looking all over for you."
"Where were you looking?" I asked.
While that caused her some brief dismay, I thought for a moment about why we were here.
"Is this about school?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said, sitting down at the bench next to me. "I've decided to go to North next year."
"You sure you want to do that?" I asked.
"Why not?" she asked.
I remarked, "It's your life, but..."
"It's more interesting this way," she explained.
"Right," I said, wondering how many times I'd heard that.
"Yeah," she said, "I'm getting a little sick of hearing myself say that. What else can I do?"
"You know any good jokes?" I asked.
She then confessed, "I'm no good at jokes, okay. I can do amusing anecdotes, but it's not the same thing."
"No, it's not," I agreed.
She then asked, "Why do you keep harping on this? My jokes aren't that bad."
"You just asked what else you can do," I answered. "I'm figuring it out."
"Sheesh," she complained.
It was only natural. Her approach to me had started roughly with a bad joke, so I just assumed she wanted to do nothing but tell bad jokes for the rest of her life. Something about her ridiculously serious demeanor suggested that absurdities really agreed with her, and that she would find a lot of success in doing that.
"So, tell amusing anecdotes," I suggested. "That's something."
She then asked, "Be a comedian, is what you're saying?"
"Think of it as a challenge," I added.
"Why comedy?" she asked. "You already know I suck at it."
"Well, give it a try," I said. "You might surprise yourself."
"Sounds like something my mother would say," she remarked.
I was tempted to think about that the way a therapist might, but then I usefully prompted her, "How exactly would she say it?"
Haruhi glared at me for a few moments, apparently not ready to go down the route of anecdotes, either.
I then asked, "Or is that a little too obvious?"
"Did I ever tell you about that baseball game?" she asked.
"Yes," I answered. "And the 'alien message' you drew on the school grounds that one time. And the time you painted stars on the roof. And that one guy you were so sure was an alien who turned out to just be ordinary."
Haruhi had a nice list of neurotic stories she liked telling me whenever I indicated that she was being a little too serious. They were useful in the sense that she could give me some specious reasoning for the many weird things she attempted and failed to do, but not really useful to me as an aspiring psychologist.
"It's really starting to piss me off," she added.
"What?" I asked.
"I want to find something, damn it," she replied. "I'm getting a little sick of all this toying around. I want answers."
I sighed and realized, "I shouldn't have told you about the time traveler."
"Were you just messing with me?" she asked.
"No," I answered.
"Because that would really be the worst..." she said, becoming really upset.
"All right, fine," I said. "I'll tell you about her. But you have to promise to leave her alone."
"Leave her alone?" she asked. "Is she someone I know?"
"No," I replied, "but I had a conversation with her since then."
"You did?" she asked.
"Can you do that?" I asked her. "Promise to leave her alone?"
"If you tell me her name, then," she said. "Okay. I promise."
"Okay," I said. "Her name is Mikuru Asahina."
"Seriously?" she asked.
"Yes," I answered, never more serious in my life.
I had expected her to vent or to accuse me of joking, but she simply absorbed that information. It was weird. Something told me that this was one of those rare moments of lucidity that I had somehow encountered in her.
"Don't forget your promise," I softly urged her.
"Why the secrecy?" she asked.
I answered, "She just wants to observe and remained unnoticed. Okay?"
"Okay," she answered.
"Good," I said, hoping the matter was settled, but I really should have known better.
"Interesting," she said, those mysterious wheels turning in her mind again.
"And don't get any funny ideas," I warned. "I'll be watching you."
- x -
Wednesday, August 27, 2003.
Of the year or so that followed, I only have warm memories. It seemed to me as though someone was watching over me, and I later realized that it was mostly Haruhi. I really came to enjoy my school life, and even when I entered high school, there were just some brief obstacles here and there. It was all a little too enjoyable, and I didn't even notice how the time seemed to be rushing by me.
In high school, it didn't take long for Haruhi to start up a club of sorts, and she chose the literature club room for meetings. I was a little surprised to find Nagato had already occupied the room, and she seemed strangely unfazed by Haruhi's piratical tendencies. Haruhi then suddenly enlisted Mikuru Asahina into the club, and right as I was starting to wonder whether Koizumi would appear, in he came being escorted by Haruhi.
The funny thing is that Haruhi never let on (in front of me, anyway) that she knew about Asahina being a time traveler. She made much of Asahina's "moe" qualities, emphasizing them to a degree that seemed to indicate a little desperate avoidance on her part of the whole topic of time travel. And Asahina certainly had those qualities. It was certainly plausible. Needless to say, Asahina wouldn't speak to me.
Nevertheless, I felt good about the situation, even with Asahina. Haruhi would do little more than interrogate Asahina about this and that, and she seemed a little hesitant to try anything more presumptuous. I think Haruhi had reached a point where she halfway believed me, and she seemed to think that any further confirmation might make Asahina blink out of existence. I'm not sure whether she wouldn't have, either.
Haruhi was, in fact, so focused on Asahina that she spent almost no time worried about aliens or espers. That seemed to work out well for Koizumi and Nagato, though I had the feeling Asakura was a little miffed at me.
One night over the summer, it was time again for a trip to the roof of the apartment for some late evening sky viewing. This time, the feature topic was Mars, and Haruhi seemed content to note how gray and featureless Mars is compared to its more dramatically red appearance in the media. Even viewed through a nice telescope, Mars is still little more than a blurry gray dot. Haruhi began trying to get Asahina's attention, while Nagato was busy reading, and Koizumi and I were merely standing around, watching.
Haruhi asked, "This is a pretty big day, wouldn't you say, Mikuru?"
"I guess so," she answered.
"Oh, come on!" Haruhi insisted. "Mars doesn't get this close again for another fifty-thousand years. That's something."
"If you say so," Asahina conceded.
"It really should do something," Haruhi complained.
"This sounds familiar," I muttered.
Once again, Asahina looked at me as if this were all my fault, and I silently apologized to her.
"Is Mars really all that interesting?" I asked.
Haruhi replied, "Sure it is! There's should be gobs of aliens pouring out of Mars by now."
"For all you know," I remarked, "I could be an alien."
"Yeah, right," she sneered.
"How would you know?" I asked.
"So, where's your spaceship?" she asked.
"What makes you think an alien would be from space?" I asked, but I already knew the answer to that.
"Because it would..." she started.
"...be more interesting that way," I finished. "Right."
She then complained, "I expect to see UFOs, damn it."
"Why?" I asked.
"Why not?" she asked.
Haruhi really isn't bound by the laws of fairness, justice or even the laws of physics for that matter. Her expectations are just that. Her expectations. Thinking that there's any sort of rhyme or reason to it is just an exercise in futility, and it was really starting to become clear to me. This was my moment of clarity, and it felt like a huge weight off of my mind.
I then said, "All right. I didn't want to have to do this, but..."
"What?" she asked.
"Hey, Nagato," I asked. "Do you know any aliens?"
"I do not," she answered in her usual terse monotone.
"Really?" I asked.
"Really," she insisted.
"So much for that idea," I muttered.
"What makes you think she knows?" Haruhi asked.
"I figured she might have read about it," I smoothly explained.
She remarked, "I think I've read everything there is to know on that subject."
"And?"
"It's a dead end. Forget about it."
- x -
Saturday, October 29, 2005.
The really cool thing about Haruhi knowing about time travel is that I think it taught her a certain weird form of restraint. Given her unusual upbringing and her tendency to go a little wild, I'd been expecting her to use Asahina as a kind of living fashion mannequin. Thanks to Asahina being a time traveler, I got to witness all kinds of weird expressions pass across Haruhi's face.
In any case, Haruhi was starting to figure out that there was more to life than finding strange people and hanging out with them. Once we started our third year in high school, Asahina had "graduated," and that meant that our club was back down to four members. Haruhi didn't seem too concerned about only having four members, though she still defended the honor of the club. I had thought for sure she would have disbanded it, but then she was strangely persistent about the idea.
Something had definitely come over Haruhi, but I wasn't sure at the time what it could be. Meanwhile, the third year was already halfway over, and just as I was starting to wonder what Asahina was up to, I encountered her on a busy sidewalk. I had just been taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather to wander around the shopping district, when I spotted her. We had a nice little chat, and then she invited me to help her shop for a particular item at a bookstore.
"Thanks," she said, as we entered. "I'm never comfortable with these kinds of..."
"I guess I can understand," I said, though I had no idea what she was talking about again.
"It's kind of a crazy idea," she admitted. "I'm really just looking for something that disproves it."
Okay. As far as I could tell, what Miss Asahina wanted here was a book that somehow disproved Haruhi's belief in the occult. Asahina was convinced that she only needed an ephemeris to do it. I'm not entirely sure why, not having ever considered the subject. I mean, I had noticed things like Carl Jung's fascination with alchemy and various other bizarre notions, but it seemed more like modern mythology than any kind of subject worthy of study.
I went to the store clerk and asked, "Excuse me, but do you have an ephemeris?"
"Third aisle," he answered.
"Thanks," I said, looking around.
When we entered that aisle, the difference in the subjects and ideas was profound. It seemed to me as if I had suddenly stepped a few thousand years into the past.
"The occult section," I remarked.
"Oh my," Asahina said, looking around.
"Indeed," I said. "I assume Haruhi has already read all these." I like to surmise this kind of thing. It spares me having to know for sure. This is, incidentally, how I figure Haruhi has had an unusual upbringing. I certainly don't like to witness that kind of thing personally.
Asahina added, "It's strange to think that people once believed this sort of thing."
"A few people, maybe," I speculated. "I think most people either dabble for recreation or they think of it as some weird form of therapy."
For a moment, I was tempted to pick up a few books for myself, but then I noticed one particular shelf.
"Okay," I felt compelled to comment, "you'd have to be really hard core to read a book on casting spells or mixing potions, but..."
I then looked up and noticed a number of dusty old books. Among them was what Asahina had been searching for. I took it down.
"Here we go," I said. "Is that it?"
"Yes, thanks," she answered.
I handed her the book, taking a moment to admire how thick it was in spite of the limited subject.
"You just need that one year?" I asked.
"Yeah," she answered.
"What's the big deal with 2010?" I asked.
"It's classified," she replied.
I sighed, but mostly because this response had made me a little sentimental. It had been years since I had heard that.
"I'm sorry," she explained, "but it's just because there are so many events that year. This will give me a way to cross-reference with what we think she believes about this subject."
"You could just check a book out from the library," I suggested.
"I know," she said, smiling kindly at me. "I'm sorry, but this is also kind of a hobby of mine. Collecting old books, that is."
"I see," I said.