So sorry I haven't updated in a while! A lot has happened but I'm not going to bore y'all with the details..[if you want to know the details, feel free to send me a PM]. This chapter was kind of hard to write, I'm not sure why but I just hope it turned out good enough, so... Enjoy!

[I decided to make it 1 long chapter instead of 2 smaller parts, the 2nd part starts about halfway through].

Chapter 30:
Arrivederci, Daddy

This is set on Friday March 17th 2006.

''Can you leave it all behind? Cause you cant go back.''

Lu's POV

I can see a hint of tears in her eyes as we go over what we just discussed: ''You have to take it easy. The complications seem to have only happened because of the amnio; though that limits the odds of it happening again, it doesn't mean you're not still at risk for a miscarriage,'' I tell her.
Andy doesn't respond, but she knows that the only reason I didn't put her on full time bed rest is that she has to go to the general's funeral.

''Andy, are you listening to me?'' I ask her concerned.
She clenches her jaw for a second before she looks up from her hands back at me, ''yes.'' She responds curtly. ''I have to take it easy, keep my rest and if I have any pain or if there's any bleeding I have to come back to the hospital immediately.'' She repeats me.

''Exactly,'' I respond as I go over all of the test results again. She's sitting on the bed in front of me, dressed so she can leave as soon as I let her. Its Friday today, her father died three days ago today and the funeral is Sunday. Andy's been anxious to get to DC as soon as possible, wanting to see her mom and help arrange the funeral, but I had to keep her here for monitoring. So far so good. ''Andy?'' I begin, trying to get her attention. She looks up at me, ''you know that if you want to talk about what happened, about everything, you know that we are all-''

''I know,'' she says, cutting me off mid-sentence. I know this is hard on her, despite the fact that she didn't have that good of a relationship with her father. Aside from that: so much has happened these past 6 months that it's got to be taking its toll on here. ''Can I go now?'' She asks me, already getting up.

I am barely able to nod before she's out the door. ''Andy!'' I begin, chasing after her. It's pretty early in the morning still and the hallways are nearly empty, no visitors are allowed at this hour.
She turns around to look at me and takes a deep breath, ''I'm not ready for this,'' she tells me.

I frown, ''what do you mean 'you're not ready for this'?'' I ask her for clarification.
She swallows hard, ''I'm not ready to lose my dad.'' She looks down for a second with a hand on her stomach, ''I'm not ready to have another baby but I'm also not ready to lose him. And despite everything that he's done; I'm not ready to say goodbye to Les,'' she tells me and I can see the tears in her eyes as she bites down on her lower lip. ''But I don't have much of a choice, do I?''

I close my eyes for a second before shaking my head.
We're both quiet for a few seconds, just looking at each other. ''I am not ready to deal with being raped,'' she tells me. ''I wasn't ready to have that happen to me, I wasn't... prepared.''

''You can never be ready for something like that, you can't prepare yourself for it,'' I tell her as I walk over to her - she's still a few feet away from me.
''But... I should have been - I'm always prepared for everything. This wasn't supposed to happen to me, I should be able to see something like that coming,'' Andy tells me as she stares off at nothing in particular - looking right past me in such a way that I wonder if she's even still talking to me or to herself now.

''You can't see it coming. Nobody thinks it's going to happen to them until it does, and then it's too late,'' I tell her and she looks back at me as if she suddenly remembers that I am still there.
''Right.'' She responds, looking down at her hands. ''I should really get going now,'' she says before turning on her right heel and walking off.

Andy's POV

I can hear the front door close behind me and let out a sigh as I run a hand through my hair. It's still dark inside since it's still early in the morning. Jesse and Lizzy went to mom's house on Wednesday, too upset to go to school as if nothing had happened. Milo stayed with me at the hospital but I told him to go home yesterday - he wasn't getting any sleep in my hospital room.

I slowly climb the stairs and come to a halt in front of our bedroom door, I suspect Milo is still asleep. I slowly rub my stomach as I walk in and watch Milo sleep for a few minutes before climbing into bed as well and putting my arm around him.
After that it doesn't take long before my eyes start to get heavy and I fall asleep.

I listen to the soft rain falling as we're driving down the high way. Going to my parent's home it's... comforting, in a way I can't really explain. I bite my lip as I remember the big, dark house that my parents bought when they decided to settle down in Washington after they'd both retired, almost 17 years ago.
I used to call it my second home, a warm, loving place where I felt secured when my hectic life got the best of me from time to time. I remember bringing Jesse here when she was little, we'd sleep here sometimes when Les was on business trips.

It seems like forever ago now, and the loss of my dad is only making it a more vague memory. It seems unreal that I'll never see him again.

I notice Milo looking over at me in the corner of my eye, ''are you okay?'' He asks me in a soft voice for the umpteenth time.
I lick my lips before I look back at him, ''I'm fine,'' I repeat.
This weekend is going to be crazy; having to look after mom and Jesse and Lizzy. Combined with dealing with my own grief - and also, it's Milo's birthday tomorrow. I hadn't really planned anything for it yet, and now I'm not sure I can.

I yawn quietly as I close my eyes for just a second:

''Daniel is just goofing around, it's pretty funny,'' Milo tells me with a grin.
He turns to walk back to the kitchen and I follow him after a few seconds, 'Daniel?' I keep thinking. 'Who's he talking about?' I go over all the people I know, but I don't remember anyone named Daniel.

When we get into the kitchen Milo turns to look at me - probably to ask something, but he stops when he sees the look on my face. ''Daniel?'' I ask him and I can hear the genuine confusion in my voice.
Milo opens his mouth to say something but looks too surprised to do so. He hesitates for a moment, ''Daniel James - DJ - our son,'' he tells me, waiting for a look of recognition to cross my face. When there isn't one after a couple of seconds, he walks over to me and puts a hand on my forehead, checking my temperature, ''are you sure you're okay?''

I touch my forehead as I sit up with a startle, looking around confused I notice I'm still in the car. I glance over at Milo who's looking at me concerned, ''what happened?'' He asks me.
I swallow hard as I sit back up a little straighter, ''ehm...'' I begin, not entirely sure how to explain it. ''A flashback to a flash-forward, I guess,'' I tell him and he gives me a confused smile.

''Does that mean that you know what our future is going to be like?'' He asks me in a joking manner.
I shake my head a little hesitantly. What I dreamt when I was passed out seemed so real, and so far they could come true... ''When I was at the hospital, unconscious, I dreamt something-''
''The flash-forward?'' Milo asks me for clarification and I nod. ''Was he,'' Milo glances down at my belly, ''already born?'' He asks me.

''Yeah, he was. I'm not sure...'' I rub my forehead as I think hard about what happened in the dream. ''I'm pretty sure it was a couple of years into the future. I woke up in the living room and you walked in. I think we had some people over because I could hear them talk in the backyard. You mentioned something about our son goofing off, you mentioned his name...'' I tell Milo as I try to remember what he told me.

Just barely a minute ago I heard him say it, and it's already hard to remember.
''What was his name?'' Milo asks me curiously as he tries his best to keep his attention on the road.
I bite my lip for a second before I remember, ''Daniel James, DJ for short,'' I tell him.

''Daniel James Morton,'' Milo repeats to himself with a frown before he smiles, ''I like it,'' he tells me.
''Me too,'' I tell him as I look over at him.
''So, what else happened?'' He asks me.

I clear my throat as the rest of it comes back to me, ''you told me to hold on when a baby started to cry and you left the room. You said something like, 'let me get her' or 'that's her again'... I'm pretty sure you called her Savannah or Samantha,'' I tell Milo as I look down at my hands, as if that'll make it all come back to me. ''Daniel walked in at some point, he looked just like you,'' I say with a smile. ''I hugged him and then the dream was over.''

Saturday March 18th 2006.

Third persons POV

He slowly opened his eyes - waking up peacefully. Or well; peacefully until he realized he wasn't in his own bedroom, or even his own house. And then, when he remembered where he was and why he was there, he just got an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Milo rolled onto his back - stretching his arms and legs before turning his head and realizing that Andy wasn't in the bed with him. They were at her folk's house, in one of the guest bedrooms where she always slept when they stayed over. It was Milo's birthday and they day after it they were going to bury her father.
Milo sighed and looked up at the ceiling as he remembered what Andy had told him the day before on their way over here. Hearing her talk about the baby, their baby, it created a clearer image in his mind of what life would be like with children. Something he had so far been pretty much unable to do.

He was about to get up out of bed when he could hear the door open slowly, making sure that it wouldn't make too much noise in case other people in the house were still asleep. He smiled when he saw Andy walk in, ''good morning,'' she said with a small smile.
He could see on her face how tired she was and when he looked over at the small alarm clock he noticed why: it was only 5:30 am. She had always been an early riser but he knew she hadn't been sleeping that well lately, ''good morning to you too,'' he replied softly as she sat down on the bed next to him.

''I got you something,'' she told him with a grin and only then he realized she had been holding one hand behind her back. ''I figured getting you a big birthday cake wouldn't exactly be a good idea, in case mom found it, but...'' she smiled at him as she showed what she had been holding behind her back, ''I figured it was better than nothing,'' she told him as she handed him the small dish with the cupcake on it.

It had been decorated and in very small writing on it, it said: ''happy birthday.''. The candle in the middle had been lit.

Milo's jaw slightly dropped. He had thought that with everything going on lately she would forget his birthday.
''Happy birthday,'' Andy told him as she kissed his cheek. He smiled back at her and then blew out the candle. He took the first bite and then put it down beside him.

Just as she tried to get up from the bed he pulled her back down, "come on, just 5 more minutes." He told her as he pulled her close to him and kissed her again.
"I can't, I need to help mom with some last minute arrangements," she told him as she tried to get up again, but laughing when he wouldn't let her.

"I'll do it," he told her.
"You really don't have to," Andy told him as she sat up a little bit.
"Andy," Milo started with a sigh, "I thought you promised Delgado that you would take things easy."
"And I will, there are just some things I need to do first," she told him.

"Really? You're going to wait with doing everything you can to make sure our son will be fine?" Milo asked her and she could hear in his voice how upset he was. ''Milo..." she began, not sure how to continue, knowing he was right.
"Andy?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

They looked at each other for a few moments in silence until Andy broke it with a sigh. She laid back down next to him and put her head on his chest. She took a deep breath before looking up at him, "you know, it's still early so maybe we could..." she raised her eyebrows and smiled at him as she moved on top of him.

"Are you sure you really want to do this?" He asked her with a worried voice.
She cocked her head to the sight as she looked at him with a frown, "what?"
"I'm just saying... This would be the first time since our wedding night and I don't want to do this if it's just for you to have some comfort after your dad dying," he told her. "I don't want you to regret this later."

"You make it sound like this is our first time and you're worried I might be too young," she told him jokingly even though she was serious.
They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, "this has nothing to do with my dad dying, or pregnancy hormones or whatever. This is because I love you and I want to do this with you," she told him before leaning down and kissing his lips.

Milo walked into the kitchen 45 minutes later, surprised to see that Jesse and Lizzy were already up.
''Where's mom?'' Jesse asked as she looked up from her breakfast.
"Lu wants her to take it easy for a couple of days considering what happened, so she's going to spend most of the day in bed,'' he told the two of them.

Sunday March 19th 2006.

Andy's POV

I can feel him squeeze my hand a little bit as the service started. It reminds me so much of the last funeral I went to: Les' funeral.
Lizzy is standing in front of me and Jesse beside me, though right now she's standing with Milo who is holding my hand. My mom is on my other side, in tears. I try to push Les' funeral to the back of my mind as I can hear the minister begins to speak.

''Our brother Andrew James March has gone to his rest in the peace of Christ. May the Lord now welcome him to the table of God's children in heaven. With faith and hope in eternal life, let us assist him with our prayers. Lord Jesus Christ, by your own three days in the tomb, you hallowed the graves of all who believe in you and so made the grave a sign of hope that promises resurrection even as it claims our mortal bodies. Grant that our brother may sleep here in peace until you awaken him to glory, for you are the resurrection and the life,'' the minister speaks.

I take a deep breath and try to hold back my tears - though it's hard. I can feel Milo take his hand out of mine and put it on my back.

''He was nourished with your body and blood; grant him a place at the table in your heavenly kingdom. We pray to the Lord: Lord, love him. Lord bless him. Lord keep him. Lord, have mercy,'' the minister says.

Third Persons POV

As Milo made his way to the other side of the bedroom - to the attached bathroom - he could hear Andy lock the door behind her. He turned around to look at her with a frown, ''why are you locking the door?'' He asked her curiously.
She gave a slight shrug, ''just cause,'' she answered curtly, before glancing over at the bed which was still disheveled from that morning.

Andy let out a sigh and Milo looked at her with worry, ''are you okay?'' He asked before shaking his head and starting over, ''I mean, how are you?''
She looked away from him, ''fine.''

''Andy, I know you're not okay. We nearly lost our baby a few days ago and today we buried your father. I mean...'' he trailed off, looking into mid-air. ''There's no possible way that you're feeling okay. You're tough, but you're not okay.''
He could see her lower lip start to quiver as she looked up into his eyes, ''everything's fine,'' she whispered and he could hear her voice break as she finally let her emotions run free.

He could feel tears well up in his own eyes as well as he wrapped her up in his arms, ''it's okay,'' he said softly as he rubbed small circles on her back.

''Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.'' Rabindranath Tagore

Please review.