Chapter 35: Mighty Murdocks Part 2
On the last chapter of Meg's Family... Ummm.... Errr..... Well... I DUNNO! STUFF HAPPENED, OKAAAAAY??? Now just read the rest of the story!
We continue our story at the abandoned warehouse where the devil, Lucifer, has gather some of the Griffins' and Murdocks' hated enemies.
"Who are you, anyway?" asked Lobster.
"I've gone through many names over many a millennia," said Lucifer, "Just call me Lucifer. I've gathered you all here today for one reason; You all hate the Murdocks."
"That's true," said Connie, "Meg doesn't deserve superpowers."
"Neither does that brat," said Eliza.
"That creep doesn't deserve Meg," said Neil bitterly.
"And I hate that Zack guy!" said Lobster.
Lucifer turns and sees James Woods.
"What the hell is he doing here?" asked Lucifer.
"He followed me here," said Corvette.
"Hey, I hate those Murdocks, too!" said Woods, "For that matter why is Diego here. He doesn't have a grudge against the Murdocks."
"Lucifer told me that he'd grant me ultimate sexiness if I joined him," said Diego.
"Another question," said Connie looking at Lobster, "Why isn't the giant chicken with you?"
Meanwhile at a graveyard in Kentucky, the giant Chicken is pissing on the grave of Colonel Sanders.
"This is for my grandma you son of a bitch," said the chicken bitterly.
Back at the warehouse...
"I don't want to talk about it," said Lobster.
"As I was saying, MOST of you hate the Murdocks," said Lucifer, "That's why you all are going to destroy them."
"And just how are six regular people, and one super sexy sex stud going to do that?" asked Diego.
"When I do this," said Lucifer as he snapped his fingers.
Everyone in the room was instantly struck by a huge lightning bolt. What happened to them? Well, you'll have to find out later. Meanwhile at the Griffin residence, Maddie was showing off her fire powers to Brian.
"I want to show you this neat trick I just picked up," said Maddie as she made a heart in flames, "I can make the flames stay in mid air for a few seconds."
"Wow, that's impressive," said Brian in awe.
"Hey, Brian. Look at me," said Stewie as he lit a lighter, "Brian, are you looking? Look, I'm Maddie. Are you looking? Brian look."
"Yeah, that's nice, Stewie," said Brian not even paying attention.
"HA! He said that's nice!" gloated Stewie to Maddie, "He likes me better."
"Your shirt's on fire," said Maddie.
"My shirt's on...?" asked Stewie as he looked in horror to see that his clothes were on fire after playing with that lighter, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHH!!!"
He screams loudly as he runs around in a blazing circle.
"What the hell's going on here?" asked Cody as he walked into the room.
Stewie then crashes right into Cody which causes him to splatter into a puddle of water. He then rolls in Cody's watery remains as he puts himself out of the fire.
"Ah... Thanks, Cody. I needed that," said Stewie as he walked away.
"Oh, no problem Stewie," said Cody bitterly as he reformed himself, "You know how much I love getting my molecules painfully torn apart... Sarcasm aside, these powers suck."
"Don't say that," said Lois as she and Meg walked into the room, "Your powers are very special in their own way."
"Yeah, Cody," said Meg, "I'm sure that your powers are just probably developing. Every superhero is special."
"Except you," teased Peter, "Your powers are as crappy as Aquaman's."
"That's not true," said Aquaman as he was suddenly on the living room couch, "My powers are WAY cooler than his."
"Wow, fatass," said Cody, "I'll bet you feel like a big man picking on a little KID!"
"Trust me, he does," said Brian as he turned to Aquaman, "And what are YOU doing here, anyway?"
"...I don't know..." said Aquaman.
"Well get out 'cause I wanna watch TV," said Peter as he sat down on the couch and turned on the TV.
"We now return to Gumby's Summer Adventure," said the TV announcer.
Cutaway to TV
On a hot California beach, Gumby and his pals, Pokey, Prickle, and Goo are writhing in pain in the hot sun as it dries up their clay bodies.
"You lied to us, Gumby!" groaned Pokey in pain, "This isn't fun at all!"
"Why, God?" screamed Gumby, "Why did you make us out of CLAY????"
We then cut away to the news room with Diane Simmons and Tom Tucker.
"We interrupt this raping of your childhood for a special news bulletin," said Tom, "A team of supervillains are running amok in downtown Quahog."
"They seem to be a group who go by the name of The Bad Guy Syndicate for Bad Guys," said Diane, "Details about them are scarce at the moment so we'll just go to Ollie for his thoughts. Ollie?"
"THEY BAD!" shouted Ollie quickly.
"Thanks Ollie," said Tom, "And now back to your regularly scheduled program."
End Cutaway
"MORE superpowered people?" asked Lois, "And they're wrecking Quahog?"
"This could be bad," said Meg, "You know what this means."
"Yes. This looks like a job for..." said Zack as he and his family got into a group pose.
"The Mighty Murdocks!" they all said in unison.
"Yes, the FIVE Mighty Murdocks!" said Aquaman as he joined in on their group pose.
The Murdocks just stared at him for a few seconds in confusion.
"Please let me join you," begged Aquaman.
"Get out," said Zack.
Meanwhile in the city, a squad of police officers including, Joe, are firing their weapons against a rock shelled Lobster. The bullets have no effect, however, and only bounce off his rocky exterior.
"Oh no! Our weapons are useless!" said Joe in an over the top manner.
(AN: Sonic Adventure FTW.)
Anyway, the Mighty Murdocks arrive on the scene to confront the rock lobster.
"Hey, there's something awfully familiar about that stone lobster," said Maddie.
"Who cares? Let's fry him!" said Zack as he attempted to zap him.
Lobster, however, deflects all of the attacks with his body and knocks Zack into a nearby wall.
"Zack! Are you alright?" asked Meg.
"Meg, thank goodness you're here!" said Connie worriedly as she and Eliza stepped from out of an alley.
"What are you two doing here?" asked Maddie.
"What's wrong?" asked Meg.
"Nothing..." said Connie as her arms formed into sand-like maces and attempted to smash Meg but narrowly missed, "Except that MY superhumans are gonna kick YOUR superhumans' butts!"
Confused thoughts circled inside Meg's head as she tried to get back to her feet. Maddie ran to her mother's side as did Cody.
"How did she do that?" asked Cody.
"Yeah, I thought we were the only superpowered humans in town!" said Maddie.
"Well not anymore, brat," retorted Connie, "Allow me to introduce you to my team."
"I am now Frostbite!" said Eliza as her hair became ice spikes similar in the shape of a super saiyan, "I freeze people in their tracks."
"I am Rock Shell," said Lobster, "The lobster with a rock hard shell."
"Corvette," said Corvette, "I didn't get any powers but I have upgraded a bit."
"You can call me Bi-Clops," said Neil, "I have the power of heat vision. My eyes fire with rage as you have spurned me one too many times and I wish to seek-"
"Yeah, yeah, enough with the soliloquy, Shakespeare," said Connie, "Anyway, you can call me Sandstorm,"
"Wait, what about them?" asked Cody pointing to James Woods and Diego, "Don't they have powers?"
"I DO!" said James Woods who was dressed up like a lumberjack, "I'm the Woodsman!"
"And what do you do?" asked Meg.
"I... have an axe?" he answered before he was punched into the sky by Meg's extended arm
"How about you?" asked Maddie to Diego.
"Me? Powers?" scoffed Diego, "I told Lucifer I didn't need powers. My sexiness is a power on it's own!"
"Your SEXINESS?" laughed Zack, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard, right guys?"
"Did you say something, Zack?" asked Meg dreamily as she and Maddie stared at Diego.
"Oh HELL NO!" shouted Zack as he zapped Diego into a wall.
"Wait, did she just say Lucifer?" asked Cody, "The same Lucifer who seems to hate us more than his archenemy God for some reason?"
"Who cares?" asked Zack, "Devil magic or not, we can beat them."
"You're going down, you flameheaded wanker," said Eliza.
"Bring it on, icepick head!" said Maddie back as her hair burst into flames, "LEE-"
"Do NOT finish that!" warned Cody.
"Oh, okay then," said Maddie.
"...Thank you," said Cody, "It was really starting to get annoying after a whi-"
"LEEROYJENKINS!!!" shouted Maddie.
"OH GODDAMMIT!" shouted Cody in frustration.
"I'll take on Connie," said Meg as she ran into battle.
"The rock Lobster's mine!" said Zack as he did the same.
"I've got that ice blockhead!" said Maddie as she ran off.
"And that leaves me with psychotron and laser nerd," said Cody before realizing what he was up against, "...Oh crap!"
"That's right. Wet yourself, you little punk," threatened Corvette.
"HA! Joke's on you!" said Cody, "I ALWAYS wet myself... wait that didn't come out right."
Zack repeatedly attempts to electrocute Lobster with lightning bolts, but they keep bouncing off of him.
"Is that the best you've got?" asked Lobster.
"You haven't seen nothing yet!" said Zack.
He then proceeds to form a large and powerful lightning ball which he tosses at Lobster. Lobster, however, deflects it with a punch and sends the ball hurdling across the city. It then collides and blows up a bulding that says "Children's Hospital". Everyone gasps... until they see the rest of the sign that says "Children's Hospital Is The Building Next To Us. This Is Just An Empty Building." The people then sigh in relief.
"...Okay now THAT was the best I got," said Zack before he was knocked out by a stone claw.
Maddie fires a barrage of fireballs at Eliza but she neutralizes each one with her icicle shots.
"You do know you're screwed, right?" asked Maddie, "Fire melts ice."
"Yes, and when it melts it becomes water," said Eliza.
"Oh no..." said Maddie as she realises that Eliza created a huge block of ice over her head.
She tried to put her flames out, but the ice melted into water and extinguished her flames. Meanwhile Meg and Connie were fighting, Rubber girl to Sand person... girl type... blonde thingy... Anyway, every strike Meg made, Connie would just reform herself and likewise with Meg. Meg eventually began to gain the upper hand. As Connie laid on the ground helpless, Meg grew her fists huge to deliver the finishing blow.
"Wait, don't!" begged Connie.
"And why not?" asked Meg.
"Because... I'm pregnant!" anounced Connie.
"WHAT???" asked Meg in confusion before getting knocked down by Connie's sand mallet fists.
"Haha! Psyke!" laughed Connie, "Like I'm gonna add another one..."
She then grabs Meg's arms and uses them to tie up her family.
"They beat us!" said Meg angrily, "This can't be happening!"
"Don't worry!" said Maddie, "I'm sure Cody will save-"
Corvetted and Neil both hit Cody with a combined laser which causes him to splatter into a puddle that drains into the sewer.
"Nevermind. We're screwed," said Maddie in defeat.
The villain team then regroups. Connie looks at their catch but notices that Cody is missing.
"Where is that DAMN fourth Mighty Murdock?" asked Connie in frustration.
(AN: Shadow the Hedgehog FTL.)
"Oh, you don't have to worry about him," said Corvette, "Let's just say I put his superhero career down the DRAIN! HAHAHAHA!"
"BOOOO!" shouted Lobster as he gave a claws down.
"Oh screw you," said Corvette, "My friends on Facebook liked it."
"Yeah, well, your friends on Facebook are all bots!" said Lobster.
"Tell me who all YOUR Facebook friends are," said Corvette.
Lobster raises up his claw to retort, but stops, thinks for a second and then hangs his head in shame.
"I thought so," said Corvette.
"Ha! We won!" said Connie triumphantly.
"Or as Stewie would say, VICTORY IS OURS!" shouted Eliza.
"Wow, so this is how it feels like to actually win," said Neil, "I like it!"
"Me too!" said Lobster, "It feels great!"
"You know what?" asked Connie, "Why should we stop at just defeating the Mighty MurDORKS? We could take over this whole city if we wanted to."
"Hell, I bet we could rule the bloody WORLD!" said Eliza.
"Oh, let's!" said Lobster in excitement.
"Then it's settled," said Connie, "After we dispose of these losers, we'll take over the world!"
"World domination?" asked Meg, "That's a bit cliche, isn' it?"
"Not nearly as cliche as the bad guy killing his own minions," said Maddie.
Cutaway
Somewhere in a secret and obviously evil lair, an evil James Bond type villain, who we'll call Dr. Bad McEvil in this cutaway, is shouting out orders.
"Agents! I need you for a task!" he barked, but no one came except his geeky lab assistant, "Agents? Assistant, where are my agents!"
"Sir, I believe you killed them all," said his assistant.
"All of them?" asked Dr. Bad McEvil, "Why the hell would I do that?"
"They all failed you in some way, sir," said the asistant, "Agent 1 didn't stop the hero, Agent 2 was beaten by the hero, Agent 3 didn't get the secret files from the good guy headquarters, Agent 4 didn't kill the hero's love interest, Agent 5 wrote bad things about you in the men's room, Agent 6 wanted a promotion, Agent 7 came out of the closet, Agent 8 was wearing white after Labor Day, Agent 9 was hitting on your sister, and Agent 10 tried to call in sick."
"Yeah, I remember Agent 10," said Dr. Bad McEvil, "When I killed him, I ended up getting sick so I dug him up, brought him back to life, and killed him again. Do I have ANYONE left?"
"You've still got me," said the lab assistant.
"Not good enough!" said the doctor as he pulled out a raygun and killed his assistant, "Crap! I have no one left! I failed me!"
He then kills himself.
End Cutaway
Meanwhile at the Griffin home, the Griffins are anxiously awaiting the return of the Murdocks.
"They've been gone for over two hours now," said Lois, "I'm getting worried. What if something happened to them."
"I'm pretty sure they're alright, Lois," said Brian.
"Well, if not we could alway buy a pig with a pink hat, a mop, and pile of clay and we wouldn't miss them," joked Stewie, "HAHAHAHAHA! Seriously, I'm worried."
"Relax, I'm sure they're just fine," said Peter, "Before you know it, Zack, Maddie, Cody and Disappointment will be hitting that door very soon."
"I can't think like this," said Lois worriedly as she got up and walked into the kitchen, "I need a glass of water."
She turns on the faucet and pours herself a cup of water, but just as she puts her lips onto the glass, she notices that the water has eyes. She shrieks as she drops the glass on the floor and the puddle from the broken cup forms into Cody.
"That was close," said Cody, "I was almost about to learn both the ins AND out of the female respirotory system."
"Cody? What are you doing here?" asked Lois in surprise.
"I got my ass handed to me... Again!" said Cody, "This time it was by Corvette."
"Corvette?!?" asked Peter in horror.
"Yeah. Apparently, she, Lobster, Connie, and Eliza all gained superpowers from Lucifer," said Cody.
"Lucifer?!?!" asked Peter in horror.
"They defeated the others, kidnapped them and plan on ruling the world," said Cody.
"The World?!?!" asked Peter in horror.
"What are we gonna do?" asked Cody.
"Do?!?!" asked Peter.
"Okay, stop that," said Cody annoyed.
"That?!?!" asked Peter in horror.
"Oh my god! My baby and her baby are in trouble!" said Lois in horror, "We have to do something."
"I'm the only one with superpowers here, but I can't rescue them because I... well... I SUCK!" said Cody frustrated.
"I have an idea," said Brian, "I know this sounds crazy, but if I'll bet if we gave ourselves superpowers, we could fight them off and save the others."
"That is the most retarded idea I ever heard," said Peter.
"Hey, I got an idea!" said Peter in Brian(Although Brian is speaking in a bored tone) in unison, "I bet if we gave ourselves superpowers, we could fight them off and save the others."
"Wow, Peter. How do you think of these ideas on your own?" asked Brian dryly.
"They just come to me," said Peter.
"So exactly how are you gonna gain these powers?" asked Cody, "I don't think there's any toxic waste left in the tap."
"No, but I think I know somebody who has more," said Lois, "We're heading to Jillian's apartment. Tilly is going to help us."
"I love having a smart daughter," said Chris, "And an even smarter son!"
"Chris, CJ think one plus one equals moo," said Brian.
"I know!" said Chris with glee, "He's even smarter than me!"
"I guess there IS hope for him then," said Brian in surprise.
Later at Jillian's apartment, the family is patiently waiting in the living room for Tilly to be finished with her mutagen. She finally comes out of her room with a look of disappointment.
"Any luck?" asked Brian.
"None," said Tilly, "I tried mixing the toxic waste with every potent property I know. I can't get a stable mutagen."
"Well, keep trying," said Lois, "We have to save the others and fast!"
"Okay, let me think," said Tilly seriously, "The toxic waste soaked into the ground and got into the water supply. Maybe it absorbed properties of the soil. No, that's not it. Argh! What did the chemicals mix with?"
"I got it!" said CJ excitedly as he ran into the room with a jug of water, "It was the tap water!"
"Right..." said Tilly as she rolled her eyes, "As if ordinary tap water would somehow balance the properties of toxic waste and make it a stable..." she continued as CJ mixed the waste with the water and suddenly gained the power of flight, "...Mutagen? Okay, seriously. What the hell???"
"I remembered that Quahoq's tap water system has a chemical imbalance so I thought maybe a mixture between your toxic stuff and those chemicals created an entirely NEW compound," explained CJ.
"Whoa, whoa! Back up a minute!" said Tilly in shock, "You actually THOUGHT?"
"Monkey boy has a brain?!?" asked Cody dumbfounded.
"Wow, this is an even bigger shock than when Zack got the results to his paternity test," said Brian.
Flashback
Meg runs into the living room with a envelope.
"It's here, Zack!" said Meg, "The results to your paternity test!"
"Finally, I'll find out who my real father is!" said Zack with excitement, "And my real father is-"
As he read, the letter quickly desinigrates into flames along with an evil demonic laughter right before he could see the answer.
"Oh, it happened again," said Meg in disappointment, "And it's the 18th time, too."
"Maybe someday..." sighed Zack.
End Flashback
Later, the rest of the family is in the living room re-evuluating their new pwers. Peter had his shapeshifting abilities, Lois had her super strength, Brian had super speed, Stewie had his telekenesis, and Chris had fire powers. The Griffins, however, weren't the only ones with superpowers. CJ who was the first to touch the mutagen gained wind manipulation powers. Jillian was given ghostly abilities such as walking through walls and becoming invisible. And Tilly was given the ability to manipulate weather.
"Okay, now let's go and save the rest of our family," said Cody heroically.
"Okay, so where are they?" asked Brian.
"I, uh, don't have a clue," shrugged Cody.
"Well we have to do something," said Jillian.
"Yeah, it's not like our clue will fall right in front of us," said Peter.
As if right on cue, both James Woods and Diego Montoya crash through the ceiling of Jillian's apartment and land right in front of the family.
"James Woods and that gay Spaniard?" asked Peter.
"Those were the guys who were with the others," said Cody.
"Stay back!" warned James Woods, "I'm the Woodsman! I have an axe!"
He then slams the axe into Peter's head, which breaks apart in contact.
"This thing's made out of cheap plastic," said Peter.
"The hell?" asked Woods, "Damnit, Lucifer! First Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within and now this! You truly are the king of evil."
"They don't have powers!" said Lois, "Quick, Peter! Tranform into rope and tie them up!"
"Aww... but that would be male bondage and that's totally gay!" complained Peter.
"Just do it!" said Los.
Peter then does as told. Diego, however just gives off a confident smirk at the rest of the family.
"Why are you smiling?" asked Brian.
"Fool! You forgot that I have the power of sexy!" said Diego.
"That's not a power, right guys?" asked Cody before he saw that Lois was admiring his good looks.
"Oh my, he's so good looking..." drooled Lois.
"Yeah, I just want to let go his sexy body and transform into his bath water," sighed Peter before thinking, "Oh my God, I just had a gay thought! Boobies! I like boobies!"
"So exactly where is this sexy guy?" asked Jillian as she looked straight at Diego.
"El gasp!" gasped Diego, "My sexiness has no affect on her! She must be some type of super genius to be avoiding my sexiness!"
Jillian begins to motion her hands like puppets to amuse herself. Cody quickly puts a paper bag over Diego's handsome head to keep him from radiating his sexiness.
"Tell us where the others are!" demanded Chris.
"I'll never tell!" said Woods.
"Neither will I," said Diego, "Doing so will earn us the wrath of the devil himself. Who knows what horrible punishment I would face!"
"Tell us where they are," threatened Lois, "If you don't I'll... um, mess up your hair!"
"NO! PLEASE DON'T!" shrieked Diego, "That is a fate worse than death itself! I'll talk! The others are in the abandoned warehouse in East Quahog!"
"Then that's where we'll go!" said Peter as he transformed back into himself, "Tie them up with some real rope. We're going to rescue the others from Disneyland!"
"He said the abandoned warehouse," said Brian.
"No, I'm pretty sure he said Disneyland," said Peter.
"Peter, do you block everything else and pretend to hear what you want to hear?" asked Cody.
"Why Yes, Cody. I DO think parallelagram is a funny word," mused Peter.
Meanwhile at the abandoned warehouse, the Mighty Murdocks were tied up by Meg's rubber arms, dangling under a pice of rope, and being slowly lowered over a large pot of boiling lava. They all try to struggle to free themselve but it's of no use.
"Meg, Maddie, get free!" said Zack, "Save yourselves!"
"What do you think we've been trying to do for the last half hour?" asked Meg in frustation.
Zack could only scowl at them for the remark she had just made.
"What was that?" asked Zack, "Zack honey, please don't kill yourself? No, daddy, we won't leave you?"
"Cut us some slack!" said Maddie, "We're over a pot of hot boiling lava for cripes sake!"
Suddenly, Lois breaks through one of the walls of the warehouse and she along with the rest of the family step inside.
"God, I hope this is the right warehouse this time," said Lois.
"Yeah, the other ones we went to weren't exactly the abandoned variety," said Peter.
"I liked the steelmill warehouse," said Stewie.
"Gee, I wonder why?" asked Tilly and Brian in unison as they rolled their eyes.
"Mom? Dad? What are you guys doing here?" asked Meg.
"We're here to save you guys!" said Peter.
"Wait, you guys are gonna save us?" asked Zack, "YOU?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH GOD WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!"
"Hang on!" said Chris as he used his flames to burn up the ropes.
As the rope snaps and the Murdocks fall, Peter transforms into a trampoline right above the lava, bouncing them to safety where Lois unties them.
"Awesome! You guys didn't screw up!" said Maddie.
"Well, there IS a first time for everything," mused Zack, "Get it? It's funny because I am implying the truth that you two are a couple of idiotic screw ups who can't do anything right except fart and say poo," he continued as he earned nothing but silent stares, "Psh, whatever! You'd think it was hilarious if Stewie said it."
"You all gained superpowers?" asked Maddie.
"Yup," said Brian as he ran off and returned with clog dancing shoes, "I have super speed."
"I can shape shift!" said Peter turning into a talking hamburger.
"I have telekenesis," said Stewie as he he lifted a nearby crate with his mind and tried to kill Lois with it.
Lois however punches it to pieces with superstrength.
"I have super strength," said Lois.
"Blast!" said Stewie angrily.
"I can control wind!" said CJ as he blew a hole through the wall with his breath.
"I can become a ghost," said Jillian invisible, "Now I look like my brain!"
"I can control the weather!" said Tilly as she created a hailstorm indoors.
The Murdocks looked on at Cody and smiled with anticipation...
"No, I still have water powers," said Cody.
Their smile quickly turned into frowns.
"We have to stop those villains!" said Meg, "They went to city hall and if we don't stop them, they'll force Mayor West to hand them the city!"
"Oh my God!" said Peter, "You're fat!"
Zack then slaps Peter in the back of his head, but with an electric shock added to it which revealed a quick X-ray of his skull.
"What the hell?" asked Zack in confusion, "I thiink I saw a For Rent sign in there."
"Well that explains a lot," said Brian dryly.
"We're wasting time, here!" said Tilly rather annoyed by everyone's tomfoolery, "If we're gonna save Quahog, we have to be serious!"
"Hey Chris. Put your hand behind my bum," said Peter as Chris lighted his fart.
"Then again Langley Falls sounds like a good place to live," said Tilly.
"Tilly's right," said Jillian, "We have to get mean and cereal here, people! No more goofing around!"
"I agree," said Lois, "If we want to save this town and the world, we have to all work together as a unit."
"Oh, c'mon!" whined Peter, "Can't I have fun with my new powers?"
"Peter, don't you remember the last time you tried having 'fun' with superpowers?" asked Lois, "It caused you to lose the one thing you loved most."
Flashback
A long time ago when the Griffins got their superpowers the first time, Chris has his hand behind Peter's rear.
"3...2...1... Ignition!" shouted Peter as he let out a fiery fart. Lois then walks into the room holding a T-shirt in her hand.
"Peter, I washed your- AAAAAHHHH!!!" screamed Lois as she and the shirt were burned.
"Oh my god!" shouted Peter as he ran up to Lois, "My George Lucas autographed Star Wars T-Shirt... WHY, JESUS, WHY???"
End Flashback
"My God, you're right," said Peter with sadness in his voice, "Well this time I am going to make a difference! We are going to to go to City Hall and save the mayor! Mighty Murdocks and SuperGriffins away!"
Peter then transforms into a helicopter and flies off to the east.
"...City Hall is that way," said Lois nonchalantly as she pointed west.
"Shut up! I knew that," said Peter irritated as he returned.
Meanwhile at City Hall, there is
"And because you singlehandedly defeated our law enforcement unit, I hereby give control of the key to the city," said Adam West as he handed them a giant key, "It's funny because it's bigger than a normal sized key- SAVE US MIGHTY MURDOCKS!!!"
"The Mighty Murdocks can't save you now, nor ever again!" announced Connie triumphantly, "They have been defeated... FOREVER!"
"I wouldn't bet on it, D'aSTINKo!" taunted Zack as he and the rest of the Mighty Murdocks stood triumphantly in front of the villains, much to the crowd's pleasure.
"Blimey! They're still alive!" said Eliza angrily.
"Big deal," said Lobster, "We beat them before and we can beat them again."
"Yeah, but can you beat ALL of us?" asked Meg as the SuperGriffins plus Tilly, CJ, and Jillian appeared behind them.
"Not a problem," said Corvette as she cracked her metallic knuckles, "I've been waiting for this day, you Peter stealing hussy."
"Bring it on, robotrash!" said Lois.
"Alright, here's the plan," said Peter, "Chris and Lois, you take on Corvette. Maddie, you, CJ and Tilly will take on Frostbite."
"What about me?" asked Cody.
"...Meg, you and Jillian will take on Sandstorm," said Peter ignoring Cody, "Zack and I will take down Lobster boy."
"Oh, by the way," said Lobster, "I want you to meet our newest member, Red Rooster."
The Giant chicken then appears in a cotume that looks like a red version of the Green Latern's with a red power ring on his right wing.
"Change of plans," said Peter angrily, "The rooster's mine!"
"Guess that means you're with me, Cody," said Zack, "You ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess," said Cody unsure of himself.
"SUPERGRIFFINS AND MIGHTY MURDOCKS UNITE!" shouted Peter.
"Hey, what happened to LEEROOOOOY JEN-" shouted Maddie before she was interrupted.
"No, just... no," said Peter.
The two groups then clash with each other in a huge fight. Every man, woman, child, teen, lobster, and poultry was going at it. This course of action gained the attention of Tricia Takanawa the Quahog 5 Action news team.
"Diane, I am here live at City Hall where two groups of superhumans are fighting for the fate of our city," said Tricia.
Everyone then stopped fighting after noticing the news team.
"Wait, you mean we're on TV?" asked Peter as he jumped behind Tricia, "Hi mom!"
"They will stop at nothing for their cause," said Tricia.
"Hey mom, hey Jack!" said Zack.
"Oh my, I can't believe we're on TV," said Lois excitedly, "Hi daddy! Hi mom!"
"Hey, Raven!" shouted Meg.
"And the villians will stop at nothing until Quahog is theirs," continued Tricia.
"Oh, can I do a shout out to my peeps back in the ocean?" asked Lobster, "Does the ocean even get this channel?"
"This is Tricia Takanawa reporting live. Back to you, Diane," said Tricia as she finished, "And cut! That's a rap."
As soon as she leaves, they start fighting again. Zack grabs Neil from behind and Peter morphs into Neil and begins to punch him repeatedly.
"Why are you hitting yourself, Neil?" taunted Zack, "Stop hitting yourself, Neil!"
Lobster and The Chicken both clothesline Peter and Zack off Neil and gang up on them. Maddie sets the chicken on fire while Stewie slams Lobster into a wall with his telekenesis. Eliza then feezes Maddie and Stewie, but is blown away by CJ's whirlwind attack and pulled into a wall by Jillian. Neil attacks CJ with his heat vision but is sucker punched from behind by Lois. Lois is then attacked by Corvette and they get into a fist fight. Brian runs in and grabs Corvette by the arm and begins to run around in a circle spinning her around in the process.
"What the heck is he doing?" asked Stewie.
"He's spinning her round!" exclaimed Lobster.
"Right round?" asked Neil.
"Like a record baby!" shouted Lois.
"Right round round round!" shouted Peter.
"Right round what?" asked Maddie.
"It's an 80's thing," said Meg, "You wouldn't understand."
Anyway, Brian then stops spinning and sends Corvette crashing into a wall. Tilly creates a hurricane to amplify Chris and Maddie's power to burn the other bad guys.
"Enough of this," said Connie annoyed as she created a sandstorm knocking everybody out. She then grabs Meg and slowly begins to suck her into her sandy body, "Now I'll get rid of you for good, you insignificant little nobody!"
"Meg! No!" shouted Zack as she tried to get up.
"Let her go, you anorexic sandtrap!" said Cody angrily as he rushed in to save Meg.
However, Connie effortlessly knocks Cody into the nearby city fountain and continues to suffocate Meg.
"Struggle all you want," said Connie, "You're just wasting prescious air!"
"CONNIE!!!!" shouted Cody angrily as he emerged from the fountain as a gigantic water creature.
"Holy Shi-" shouted Connie before being met by a watery fist that shattered her sandy body apart, freeing Meg in the process.
"Meg, are you okay?" asked Lois worriedly as she and the others came to her aid.
"I think so," said Meg in between breaths as she was gasping for air.
Connie begins to reform and attempts to escape, but is quickly grabbed by Cody who proceeds to pummel her.
"You thought I weak!" he said as he punched her, "You thought my powers sucked!" he punched her again, "Well who's laughing now???" he punched her again, "Kiss my ass, Perfect Chaos!"
"Okay, what the hell's up with Cody?" asked Meg.
"Apparently we underestimated his powers," said Tilly, "His powers only sucked because his body doesn't contain enough water. Contact with a larger mass of water increases his powers dramatically."
"Well I'll be damned," said Peter dumbfounded.
"So, should we stop him?" asked Meg.
"Are you kidding?" asked Zack, "This is gold right here!"
"Zack, I've been thinking," said Meg, "This whole superpower thing has gone way out of hand."
"I know what you mean," said Zack, "We already owe over 3 thousand dollars in collateral damage."
"Don't you mean 1 thousand?" asked Meg.
"I sorta destroyed a Gamestop yesterday," said Zack before getting a glare from everyone else, "What? Those assholes lost my pre-order!"
"I could whip up a cure," said Maddie.
"I have a better idea," said Zack as he walked away.
Meanwhile, Lucifer is talking to Tricia Takanawa trying to seduce her.
"Seriously, I can give you anything you want, baby," said Lucifer before Zack tapped his shoulder, "Hang on a sec. What?"
"We beat up your crew," said Zack pointing to the incapacitated villains.
"Yeah, so?" asked Lucifer.
"So they we powered by your devil magic," said Meg, "And we beat them."
"And now you must take us to your pot of gold," said Peter.
"Those are leprechauns," said Brian.
"Grant us three wishes?" asked Peter.
"Those are genies," said Brian.
"Make shoes?" asked Peter.
"Elves," said Brian.
"Give us eggs?" asked Peter.
"Easter bunny," said Brian.
"Give us presents?" asked Peter.
"Santa," said Brian.
"Rape our childhood?" asked Peter.
"That's Hollywood," said Brian.
"ZING!" said Stewie.
"We just proved that we're stronger than your magic," said Meg, "And as such, we'd like a request."
"And that is?" asked Lucifer.
"We want you to change us all back to normal," said Zack, "Even the bad guys and erase their memories, too. And no doublecrossing!"
"Of course. Of course," said Lucifer reluctantly, "Now tell me, are you sure you want to get rid of all your powers?"
Zack and the others turn to see that Peter transformed himself into an ass.
"Hey, look at me!" chuckled Peter, "I'm Orlando Bloom's ass!"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," said Zack quickly.
A few days after the superhero incident, the Family is back to their normal routine of watching TV.
"Well, that was fun while it lasted," said Zack.
"I'm glad things are back to normal," said Meg, "And that Tilly will no longer dump toxic waste in the backyard."
"And that she took back my gene splicer..." muttered Maddie.
"I think we all learned a very valuable lesson here," said Peter.
"And that lesson it?" asked Brian.
"I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with sticky buns and beans," said Peter.
"Let's all just watch some TV and put this event behind us," said Lois as she turned on the TV.
"I've got one last question," asked Chris, "What did you guys do with your superhero costumes?"
At that moment, Stewie walks downstairs wearing Maddie's Sunburn costume. She just looks on in shock as does Stewie.
"Umm... I can explain," said Stewie, "By the way, you're out of lipstick and eye liner. You should buy some more. I feel like strawberry red this time."
"GODDAMMIT, STEWIE! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!" she shouted as she chased her elder cousin around the house.
End Chapter