A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to update! I have final exams next week, and I should be studying, but I wrote this instead because I am procrastinating.

Additionally, this is indeed the longest chapter I have written thus far. It is over 4,000+ words. Don't expect the rest of the chapters to be that long, but this one had to be.

Also, the first like sixteenth of this chapter was written for several days, but I didn't know how to move past it. I knew where I wanted the chapter to go, but I wanted it to be Absolutely perfect. I felt a lot of pressure writing this chapter, and I must say that this is probably one of if not my favorite chapter of the entire story. Despite the fact it is mostly a giant lemon, I do think it was well written. To me, it really is a great chapter! It has some parts that I don't like, but I really like the overall product. I really hope you guys agree with me. Let me know if you do!

Another thing: If you have read one of my other stories (I am not going to say which one) you will recognize multiple paragraphs that are word for word from it. Those paragraphs fit very well into this chapter, so I had to do it. I changed bits and pieces of some of it, but for the most part, it is word for word.

Final thing: One major point of this chapter was inspired by reading a certain part of a story called Staying Alive by my friend love dot eat dot write (note: when I say dot I mean an actual dot because fanfiction thinks I am writing an address or something). Anyway, I do not take credit for that idea. That idea belongs to love dot eat dot write.

Anyway, here is chapter 37:

TRIS'S POV

"Try me," he says.

"Are you sure?"

"Tris, you know you can tell me anything."

"I don't know about this one."

"Why? Is it something you prefer not to discuss."

"Yeah, but I promised my mother I would talk to you about it."

"Let me guess. Your mom gave you the sex talk."

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"There is only one thing that can make you blush like that."

"You know me so well."

"Come here." I walk over to him and sit on the bed so he can hold me.

"This doesn't need to be a hard topic for us," he says,"we do it every night. Plus you are pregnant, so I think we have the gist of it."

"Yeah, but my mom told me that being pregnant and doing it every night doesn't mean we know everything about it. She said that there is a lot we probably don't know."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her that we didn't need to have this discussion but she insisted. After she was done I swear I was as red as a tomato and sweating bullets. I can barely talk to you about sex even though we do it so often."

"Why is it so hard for you if you don't mind me asking?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Maybe it is still one of my fears, in a way."

"Perhaps. but I don't know how that would be possible considering that you face it every time we are intimate."

"I don't know then! Why do you just wave a magic wand and find out!"

"Sssshhhh. Take it easy. Don't let those pesky hormones get the best of you."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"There is no need to be sorry. What did your mother say to you?" I lean my head on his chest, realizing that I will chicken out if I look him in the eyes.

"She said that she would have talked to me about this much sooner, but Abnegation only allowed her to tell me that sex only produced children. She was not allowed to tell me about the impact of sex on a person and a person's relationship, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. There is a difference between sex and making love. Sex is all about the physical gratification while making love is about two people showing the other person how much they love each other by bringing them pleasure. Making love is also about a spiritual and emotional connection. While sex is a very important part of a relationship, the relationship should not be based on sex. Also, neither of us should feel forced into sex when we don't want it."

"That sure is a lot of information. I bet you were pretty embarrassed."

"Oh, that wasn't even the most embarrassing part."

"What could be worse than having your mother telling you what making love is about?"

"I don't even want to talk about it."

"Just try. Your mother wants you to talk to me about it, and she usually is right about things, so you need to just let it out."

"Fine." I grip him tightly, the words my mother had said floating around in my head, wanting to burst out.

"I have to tell you this first, Tobias: this is extremely difficult for me to talk about."

"I've told you several times already that you can tell me anything and I won't judge you."

"I know, but this is just out right embarrassing to hear from my mother. She had said that I must talk to you. Tell you what I don't like, but also I should be open minded to new ideas. I may never know if I won't like something if I don't try it. Also, she said to not be afraid to tell you what I do like. I should tell you what makes me feel good and not only brings me the most pleasure, but also I should tell you what makes me feel the most connected to you. Also, I shouldn't just tell you where I liked to be touched, but also that I need to show you. You may not always know, even if it seems like you do. Showing you will make a real difference. I should also ask you what you like. Making love is not about the individual, but rather, it is about the two of us, coming together."

"Wow. I don't know what to stay."

"Me neither, but I also don't know what to do."

"You know what you can do?"

"What?"

"Have you… ever… touched yourself?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know… masturbated?" he asks, blushing as red as I am.

"Oh, gosh… I can't believe you are asking me that."

"I know that this is really something you don't want to talk about, but I think it is an important question."

"Why?"

"Because, when you masturbate, you learn about your own body and where you like to be touched. You are able to find those places yourself. Once you know those places, you can show your partner so they know where to touch you too." I swear it is 1000 degrees in here, my face burning so hot it could melt off of me.

"N-n-n-n-no. I haven't done that."

"Do you know how to?"

"Well, thanks to a little experimentation with you, I have a general idea. I know that you do though."

"You really should try it."

"I don't know."

"Please. I think it would be a good idea."

"You just want to watch me do it! Pervert!"

"Of course I do! I'm a teenage boy!"

"Which is the same thing as a pervert!"

"Maybe, but I also know that it would be good for you; for us. If you can do it so you can figure out what you like, you can show me so I can make you feel more pleasure than before. That is, after, one major part of making love. I need to know how to do that."

"I suppose I can try, but I don't want to do it in front of you just yet. I need to figure it out on my own first."

"I know, and I think that is a good idea. Do what you think you need to do. I'm on board with whatever you think."

"Okay. I really appreciate that."

"I know you do. Just take it easy, okay?"

"Alright."

"Good. Now then, I'll go get dressed so we can go get something to eat."

*one week later*

I thought that after our little sex talk, things would be awkward between Tobias and I, but they haven't. We've been intimate, but not in a sexual way. This last week, we simply enjoy each others company in the morning and evening, and we have been cuddling closely at night. Tobias has been real sweet to me. He hasn't pushed me into having sex, even though it has been obvious that I really want it. In fact, he has said no to all of my advances. At first, I was hurt because I thought he didn't want me, but then I realized that was the hormones talking. I now know that he won't make love to me because he thinks that, after our little discussion, I'm not quite ready to get back into it yet, and he is probably right. I need to teach myself about my own body before we can do anything again. This thought continues to roll through my head as I sit on my bed doing paper work for the police department. I can't seem to get anything done because of these thoughts. I want to learn about my own body, but how do I go about doing it? Do I look at myself in the mirror? Do I just lay on the bed and explore myself? I don't know, but I need to do something before I explode. I miss Tobias's touch on my skin. I have to do something.

After I put my paper work away, I decide that the best thing to do right now is to see what Tobias sees in my by looking at myself in the mirror. If Tobias is sexually attracted to me, one thing I should know is what makes me attractive to him. I strip myself of my clothing and go over to the large standing mirror in the corner of the bedroom. I don't know what to think of my body when I see it. I've never really looked at my whole body like this before. The only thing I have ever looked on me was my breasts, and they are different from when I last saw them two months ago. They bigger, fuller, and rounder, but they are still in proportion with the rest of my ever changing body. My belly, while large and round, is actually kind of, I don't know, nice. Is that the word I want to use? I'm not sure, but I can't think of any other way to describe it. I have to lift my belly a bit to see my crotch. It is lightly covered with thin blonde hair, which looks almost invisible. It is interesting to see though, but I'm not quite sure why. After looking at myself in the mirror, I can't help but wonder, am I beautiful? I don't know. I want to think I am, but I don't know. Tobias seems to think so. Therefore, I must be.

"You are."

I turn around see Tobias lustfully looking me up and down.

"I am what?" I ask, my face blushing three shades redder.

"You are beautiful."

"How did you know I was thinking about that?"

"Thinking? You were asking yourself out loud."

"Oh," is all I can say. I walk towards him and kiss him passionately, lust taking over my body. He kisses me back for a moment before pushing me away.

"No,"he says,"not yet. Seeing yourself isn't enough. You need to explore."

"But I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"I don't know. It's stupid really."

"No it's not. It is perfectly normal."

"You know, even though I saw myself, I still can't see myself as beautiful."

"Go back to the mirror and look at yourself again."

"Fine." I walk over to the mirror and try to reanalyze what I see.

"Don't think so hard about it," he says as he comes up behind me. He wraps his arms around my stomach and pulls me close to him. I can feel his erection through his jeans on my back side. He rests his head on my shoulder.

"You have absolutely no idea how hard it is for me to just throw myself all over you right now. Do you know why?"

"I honestly think it is because you find me sexy and beautiful, but I disagree with that fact."

"Why?"

"Because I don't see it."

"Two people can look at the same thing and see it differently. Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean I don't."

"What do you see?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes. Please."

"On skin level, I see a hot and sexy pregnant woman with small but perfect breasts that fit precisely in my hands," he says as he takes ahold of my breasts.

"a gorgeous figure," he breathes as he runs his hands down the sides of my body.

"And I am highly intrigued by what lies just below your waist and that I am the only one who will ever touch it, other than you of course." His gaze locks with mine in the mirror.

"Beneath the skin, I see a strong, brave, powerful, insightful, passionate, brave, Dauntless woman. I also see a noble, humble, kind, compassionate, selfless, Abnegation woman. I'm so drawn to her because she's everything that I aspire to be; brave, selfless, kind, honest, and intelligent. She is truly remarkable."

"Really?"

"Really, Tris. Really."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I ask you now, do you now see what I see?"

"I think so."

"What do you see now?"

"I see someone who is strong, beautiful, and Divergent."

"Yes. That is what I see."

"I see it now."

"Good."

"Now will you make love to me?"

"No. Not yet. You've taken one step towards knowing yourself, but you still need to do a few things before I will make love to you again."

"What is that?"

"You need to explore yourself, just like I told you. You then need to show me what you have learned."

"I suppose you are my instructor again."

"Yeah, but not for initiation."

"I know, but I like seeing this side of you sometimes. It reminds me of our beginning together."

"Me too. Now come on, go get dressed before my body decides that I can't hold back from you anymore. Then we can go grab some dinner."

"Okay."

*the next day*

I wake up to find that Tobias has already left for work. I look over at the clock and realize it is already 1 o'clock in the afternoon. I slept in really late. I decide that I need to get back to my paper work. I burry myself in that for the next two hours. I then find that I am actually done with it all. I now have nothing to do. It will be at least another hour and a half before Tobias is home. What do I do now? Oh shit. There is only one thing to do, and I really don't want to do it, but I have to. I have to do it, for us. Plus, my hormones are really driving me nuts right now.

Although the idea of "touching myself" weirds me out, I decide to give it a go, as it is the only thing I know that will provide me the relief I need. I peel off my clothes, not caring where they land as I toss them away. I then slowly place my left hand over my heat and my right hand grasps my breast. I close my eyes and imagine that it is Tobias's strong hands on me, instead of my own delicate ones. I lightly run my right hand around my breast, avoiding the nipple, to tease myself a bit. A single finger glides over my taught bud, and the thought of this finger belonging to Tobias, makes me shiver with delight. I then let my right hand fall away and I begin to focus on the spot where my left hand lays. I rub my whole groin with my tiny hand before barely fitting a finger into my slit. I don't go all the way in. Instead, my finger lightly circles the sensitive button between my folds. Again, I'm teasing myself, so hopefully my release will be great. After a short time, the tease becomes too much, so I press the little nub with two fingers. When my mind pictures Tobias's fingers on the sensitive bud, I gasp,"Oh, Tobias." The sensation is overwhelming. I feel a wetness begin to form. I then become desperate and rub my bud vigorously. I feel something powerful build up within me. Visualizing Tobias bringing me this pleasure, I can't help but continuously let his name leave my lips. As I begin to reach my high point, I start screaming,"Ahhh….. Tobias… Ahhh." Before I know it, I explode, my body quaking with my release. As I come down from my high, my body still shaking slightly from the aftermath, I realize, I've done it. I actually did what Tobias asked me to do. I explored myself, and boy am I glad I did. That was absolutely amazing. No wonder Tobias wanted me to try it. I now know where I like to be touched. I know it seems a bit quick, but I am a fast learner. Still, I decide that I should do this a few more times over the next few days just to be sure.

*Three days later*

Over the past few days, when Tobias wasn't home, I have continued to experiment with myself. I now feel like I really know where I like to be touched. I feel confident enough to show him now, but I just don't know when. In the mean time, today I decide to continue my "experiment" on the bed. I grope one breast as I reach my hand down into me so I can circle the little nub between my folds. I tease myself again before I start to rub it vigorously. I am about to reach my climax when I hear the door open.

"Hey Tris, I need to…" Tobias starts but he doesn't finish as he has now caught me in the middle of my "experiment." I remove my hand, sit up, and just stare at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to walk in on you. Anyway, you should… uh…. finish… its not healthy to build yourself up like that and not let it all go. I'll leave you to it. Sorry I walked in on you." I then step off of the bed and go to hug him, pressing my naked body into him.

"I think I am ready to show you what I like. Will you please let me show you now?"

"Tris, you don't have to if you don't want to."

"I know I don't have to," I breathe,"but I want to."

As I turn and make my way towards my bed, I feel his gaze studying my rear end. When I turn around to lay on my back, I find him standing rigid, his mouth wide open and his eyes moving up and down wildly. He looks kind of goofy. I laugh a bit until I realize what his eyes are taking in….. me. I even see a bulge coming out of jeans. He smiles at me as he glides over to the foot of the bed, stopping and crouching down onto his knees. Oh my gosh! He is going to be friggin' face level with my heat while I'm…. well…. "playing around" with it. I won't let my fear stop me though. I can do this. I will do this, not just for him, but for me, because I know that I need this. I lay down flat, my legs spread wide so he can get a good view. Before he even looks at my crotch, he just watches the slow rise and fall of my chest, my breasts jiggling slightly with each breath. When his gaze moves down to the usually private part of my body between my legs, I slide my hand down, letting my two fingers return to where they were before. I close my eyes. I can feel his stare locked on my fingers. While it scares me that he is watching me do this, it also excites me. I never thought I would enjoy doing something like this for anyone. Because he finds this scene arousing, I can't help but feel attractive and…... desired.

I tease myself again by lightly sliding around the spot I want to touch most, knowing that it will not only make my release more powerful, but also because I know that this makes this even more fun for him. When the teasing becomes too much, I press the button, and my breath hitches. I rub it fiercely. I again feel the wetness begin to pool from my entrance and the tight coiling in my stomach. Knowing how pleasurable this must be for Tobias to watch, I rub even faster. I love this feeling of knowing that he can see me pleasure myself, and that it is something he is enjoying. With his stare trained on to my fingers, and the sweet feeling of pleasure my fingers are causing to build up inside me, I find myself nearing the end. Suddenly, it happens. My body tenses and I can't stop the scream from leaving my lips when I feel myself explode, great pleasure sweeping through me as I ride out my wave of euphoria. My body then becomes slack and my breathing begins to slow. My hand falls away from my heat. My body now feels heavy, but I feel so much relief within me. I then notice Tobias with his shirt off, his eyes closed and his head is slack against the bed the same way my body is. Why? Then it hits me.

"Were you... uhhh... 'jerking off' to this whole 'show'?" I ask. He opens his eyes and looks back up at me.

"Do you have any idea how friggin' hot that was to watch? I mean... wow... that was so damn sexy... my gosh... that was just... wow." I can't help but giggle a bit at how silly he sounds, but at the same time, it makes me want more.

"So you really enjoyed that, huh?"

"No shit, Sherlock. That was one of the sexiest things I've ever watched. I mean... you are the sexiest thing on this earth, but because of not only what I just witnessed, but also because it was you doing it... it was just... wow. I can't even explain it."

I then get on my hands and knees and crawl over to him. I lean close to him so my breasts are practically in his face and I whisper into his ear,"If you think I'm so sexy, prove it. Do something to make me feel sexy."

He doesn't think twice before pushing down his pants and boxers and jumping on to the bed and leaning against the headboard. I crawl back over to him and kiss him. My breath hitches when two of his rough hands grope my breasts. I even start to shake. His hands on my breasts feel so friggin' good! It feels even better when he begins to fondle them some. I can't help but moan. I gasp when I his lips wrap around the sensitive nipple of one breast. He flicks his tongue over it, eliciting a moan out of me. He then sucks on it while jiggling my other breast. I moan even more. He then moves to the other breast. He grabs my heat, sending a jolt of electricity through me, as if I were a wire. One finger barely enters me. He teases me like I did earlier. It drives me nuts. I whimper into his mouth when the teasing becomes too much, but he doesn't give in. I release his mouth and groan with desire. He eventually concedes and presses two fingers to where I need them most. I can't even understand the sounds coming out of my mouth. All I know is that this feels so damn good! Soon enough, my orgasm hits me and I reach a high state of bliss, sweet pleasure ripping through my body.

Eventually, as I come down from my high, I find I am drenched in sweat, my hand resting lazily on my chest.

"That was so much better than it ever has been, Tobias. I mean, that was just incredible. Showing you really did make a difference."

"I agree. You definitely enjoyed that more than you ever have."

"Make love to me, Tobias. I need you."

"As you wish, Mrs. Demanding." He then flips us so that I am straddling his hips. I glide myself over his manhood to coat in my wetness in hopes that it will slide in easier, as I feel tighter than usual for some odd reason. I know it is a tease for him, but I can tell he likes the sight and feel of it. I then pull my hips up and slide slowly down onto him. We groan loudly with the contact, our boys enjoying the relief of finally being joined again. I've missed this. I've missed being connected to him this way. I ride him like I've never ridden him before, gyrating my hips back and for each time I come crashing back down on to him. I look down and watch as his eyes observe my bouncing breasts. His eyes then glide down to watch as the button between my folds crashes into his pelvic bone. I have to admit, him just watching that is kind of hot but I'm not sure why. All I know is that, each time the button hits his pelvic bone, I seem to scream out in pleasure. Before I can reach my peak, he flips us so that he is on top. He continues to pound in to me, keeping me moaning and groaning. Suddenly, my I feel his hand dip down to where we are joined. He then uses three fingers to vigorously rub that sensitive nub between my folds. I can tell that his fingers are able to mimic what I did when I showed him how I liked to be touched. He understands what I like now, and it really is making all the difference. His movements within me and his fingers rubbing that sweet spot on me, I know I won't last much longer. I begin to feel my walls fluttering around him, signaling I am about to reach my peak. I don't even pay attention to the fact that the bed is shaking and constantly hitting the wall behind us, or the fact that I'm sure my neighbors can hear us. All I care about is Tobias making love to me and that I am making love to him. All I care about is the pleasure he is bringing me and the pleasure I am bringing him. All I care about is this spiritual and emotional connection I am having with him. All I care about is how we are coming together, as one, and that is what making love is all about. Soon enough, we both reach our summit, together. One last snap of our hips and we begin to fall like a shooting star in the night sky, the cosmic boom consuming us.

He then pulls out of me and lies next to me, pulling me into his arms.

"That… that was incredible," I whisper as we come back down from our sky high explosion.

"Yeah. I… I… I… I agree."

"That was the strongest orgasm I've ever had."

"Me too."

"That was the best love making that we have done."

"Yes. It was, and it can only get better from here."

"I can't imagine anything better than that."

"I can because it would be with you."

"I love you, Tobias."

"And I love you, Tris. Always and forever."

A/N: Hey guys! Let me know if you really liked this chapter as much as I do or if you hate it or something! Tell me what you think!