The Great Disney Adventure III: Heroes and Villains
A Disney story by talking2myself
DISCLAIMER: See Chapter 1
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The opening dialogue between Pintel and Raggetti was suggested to me by one of my wonderful and dedicated readers, Dan Man. He is a wonderful writer. Seriously, go read his stuff! It was originally taken from an Abbot and Costello bit.
Let me just say... a lot of people have been awaiting this chapter. Prepare yourselves!
Chapter. 37 At World's End
It was evening and the ship was shrouded in darkness. Most of the crew members were snoring while others like Rob, Alice and Emma had emerged from below to take advantage of the relative warmth. Somehow they had gone from the icy seas of the north to warmer climes... though they didn't know where those climes were. The fact that they didn't know where they were didn't set well with most of Tai Huang's crew. In fact, Barbosa seemed to be the only one on the ship who wasn't worried. It seemed as though there was nothing left for the crew to do apart from sit around and fret. Of course, Pintel and Ragetti didn't seem quite as worried as some of the others.
"You know, pirates go by very bizarre names," Ragetti said. "Take that one over there. The one picking his nose. You wanna know his name?"
Pintel rolled his eyes but humored his friend, "What? What's his name?"
Ragetti giggled, "Who." Pintel looked confused, "The name of the bloke you just pointed at."
"Who," Ragetti repeated.
"The one picking his nose," Pintel cried.
"Who." Ragetti cried.
Pintel pointed, "That fellow there!"
Ragetti sighed heavily,"Who is picking his nose!"
Pintel rolled his eyes, "What're you asking me for you idiot?"
Ragetti glared at his companion, "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you!"
"Then tell me who's picking his nose!" Pintel snapped.
Ragetti smiled "Exactly."
"Exactly?" Pintel asked.
Ragetti nodded "Exactly."
Pintel scratched his head, "The bloke's name's Exactly?"
Ragetti groaned, "No he's not."
"Then who's picking his nose?" Pintel growled.
"Exactly," Ragetti repeated.
"That's what I just said!" Pintel yelled.
"No you did not!" Ragetti argued.
"Yes I did," Pintel snapped. "So Exactly is picking his nose?"
"No!" Ragetti yelled. "Who is picking his nose!"
Pintel stared at Ragetti for a few moments before shaking his head, "You know what? I didn't really care to begin with."
"Actually that's the name of the bloke with three teeth," Ragetti piped.
SMACK! Pintel punched Ragetti until he flopped backwards. Ragetti swatted him back and before they knew it the two pirates were engaged in an all out brawl on the deck. A short distance away, Rob and Alice watched the scene with Emma on top of Rob's lap. shook his head. "I think I felt my IQ drop."
"Now, now," Alice said patting him on the arm.
Behind them, Will made his way over to where Elizabeth stood gazing out at the night sky. Things between the two had not improved since Will and Rob had returned. Rob had made the executive decision to stay out of it. Will gazed at Elizabeth. He let out a sigh before he finally approached her for the first time since they had been reunited. "How long do we continue not talking?" he asked her, a hint of humor in his voice.
Elizabeth sighed, "Once we rescue Jack everything will be fine."
Will frowned as a thousand doubts resurfaced again, "When we rescue Jack?"
Sensing that she said the wrong thing, Elizabeth walked away. Will frowned and looked out at the sea. Tia Dalma appeared behind him as if by magic. "For what we want most there is a cost must be paid in the end." She said quietly.
Will was about to chase after Elizabeth when he caught sight of something in the distance. He could hear a faint rumbling sound in the distance. Almost as though thunder was in the distance. Will let out a cry of surprise and ran to the helm to find Barbosa. "Barbosa, ahead!" he cried.
Barbosa grinned, "Aye, we're good and lost now."
Elizabeth halted in her tracks and whirled around, "Lost?" At that moment, the doors to the galley flung open and Sophia appeared.
"Tell me I heard that wrong," Sophia cried.
Barbosa grinned again, "For certain you have to be lost to find a place as can't be found, elseways everyone would know where t'was."
Rob scooped up his cousin and hurried to Will's side. The ship was rocking back and forth wildly. Emma squirmed in his grip but he held her tight.
"We're gaining speed!" Gibbs cried.
"Aye," Barbosa agreed.
Will's entire face blanched before he yelled to the crewmembers. "To stations. All hands to stations! Run a full, hard to port, gather way." The crew members were quickly awoken. They raced around the deck groggy eyed to fulfill his order until Barbosa called out.
"Nay, belay that!" Barbosa yelled. "Let her run straight and true!"
"What's that mean?" Emma asked.
"It means hang on tight and don't ask dumb questions," Rob cried. Rob plopped his cousin on the ground and lifted a rope off the ground. He looped it around her waist before tying her to him. "Hang on kid," he advised. He pulled her close and she clung to his leg.
Ragetti and the rest of the crew looked over the side of the ship and saw what had Will so nervous. Looming in the distance was the largest waterfall that he had ever seen in his life. It seemed to spill off the edge of the world, tumbling into some deep black abyss. "Blimey!" he whispered.
"You've doomed us all." Elizabeth cried as Sophia ran back down below to find Jackie. The ship was speeding up even more. The waterfall was getting closer and closer.
"Don't be so unkind," Barbosa scolded "You may not survive to pass this way again and these be the last friendly words you'll hear." Emma heard Barbosa and wailed in fear.
"Barbosa!" Rob yelled in anger.
"Tie her off!" Will roared to the crew.
"Hard to port!" Elizabeth shrieked. Rob grabbed Alice and Emma and the two clung to a mast. Rob could hear his cousin screaming while Alice nearly crushed all the bones in his hand as she clung to him. The ship swung hard to the portside but Rob could tell it was too late. The
"Hold on!" Will cried. Rob clung to Alice and Emma and screamed as the ship lunged forwards. He could hear Barbosa laughing as they faded into darkness.
-888-
Jack sniffed the air before he tied a napkin neatly around his neck. He looked right and left before stabbing his fork into a peanut positioned on a tin plate. He looked about anxiously before he lifted it to his lips. He froze before he could eat it. A gunshot to his chest had silenced him. As he dropped to the ground, another Jack blew smoke from his pistol. "My peanut." he said as he popped it into his mouth. "All heartily, slacken braces!"he ordered to his crew of Jacks.
"Aye Captain, slacken braces!" another Jack cried.
"Step lively, whether will." another piped.
"Aye aye, right away, sir," another cried.
The Jacks scurried around except for one which lay sprawled on the deck. "Help!" he cried. Though no help came.
"Man the yards, you filthy toads!" the original Jack yelled. Another Jack made a clucking sound and when he walked away an egg lay where he had sat. Above them perched on the masts several Jacks were tending the sails chanting in unison. "Haul! Haul! Haul!"
"Haul the sheets, sensibly boys!" The original Jack called.
"Aye, right away, sir," another responded. Behind him, one of the Jacks inched closer to the ship's goat. The goat looked at him anxiously. At that moment, the original Jack could hear Kelsey approach from the other side of the ship. "What did I tell you about harassing the goat?" He heard her snap. The Jack scampered away. "Jack," she frowned once she caught sight of the original Jack.
"One moment, love," he said holding up a finger. He approached another Jack, "Mr. Sparrow."
"Aye, captain," the other Jack said.
"What say you about the condition of this tack line?" the original Jack demanded.
The other Jack stared at the floor. "It be proper to my eyes, sir."
"Proper?" the original Jack cried.
"Jack…" Kelsey warned. "Don't be so hard on yourself."
"It is neither proper nor suitable, sir," the original Jack roared. "It is not acceptable nor adequate. It is, in obvious fact, an abomination." Kelsey pressed her face into her hand.
"Begging your pardon sir, but perhaps if you gave a man another chance…"
"Shall I?" the original Jack snapped. He yanked out his sword and stabbed it into the other Jack's chest.
"Jack!" Kelsey yelled. "You're making Sophia look friendly."
"That sort of thinking got us into this mess," Jack said to the other Jack as he wiped his sword on the side of the deck. "We have lost speed, and therefore time, precious time, which cannot be recovered once lost."
"We're not going anywhere, Jack," Kelsey yelled. "We've been beached! All we have is time."
"Do you understand?" the original Jack roared to his crew.
"Aye, captain" the multiple Jacks chimed in.
"Do you now? It will all have to be redone. All of it! And let this serve as a lesson to the lot of you. Doldrums, sir. Has the entire crew on edge. I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise."
"They're gone again, Jack," Kelsey pointed out the empty deck. All of the Jacks had vanished, though it was hard to say whether they were ever there to begin with. But Jack ignored her.
The original Jack jumped up onto the side of the ship. He gripped a rope that dangled from one of the upper masts and gripped it in one hand. "Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this weirdness," he said.
He landed lightly on the ground and held up a finger to test for wind. "No wind," he said before shaking his head in self-disgust, "Course there's no bloody wind! My soul I do swear for a breeze, gust, whisper, tiny miniature lick…" He froze suddenly and sniffed the air before he whirled around. He let out a yelp when he saw a set of blue eyes directly behind him. He let out a yelp of surprise.
"Honestly Jack are you part bloodhound now?" Kelsey cried. "Sniffing the air all of the time?"
"How did you get down here?" Jack cried.
Kelsey sighed. "I could tell you but would you really care?"
"No, not particularly," Jack said dismissively. Kelsey rolled her eyes. Jack walked past her, focusing on something on the ground. It was a rock. A round white rock. He lifted it up and examined for a few seconds before chucking it away. He frowned and walked away muttering to himself. "Yes yes I know, but why, why would he do that? Because he's a lummox, isn't he? Well, we shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited!" Jack suddenly froze and turned around slowly. The rock had materialized behind him. "Shoo." he ordered waving his hands.
"You tell that rock, Jack," Kelsey scoffed.
Jack turned away from the stone only to turn back suddenly. The rock didn't move. To no one's great surprise. He picked up the rock and examined it again. "Rock." he said to himself. He stared at it before doing something odd.. Even for him. He licked the rock, looked disgusted and threw it away again.
"Jack, you have no idea where that's been," Kelsey scolded. Jack was staring at the rock again. "It's finally happened," Kelsey groaned. "He's completely lost it. I should start sewing a strait jacket out of sails." At that moment, the white rock sprouted legs. It wasn't a rock at all. It was a white crab. He watched it scuttle away.
"Now we're being followed by rocks," Jack cried. "Never heard that before." At that moment he caught sight of the rope he had used to climb down. "Oh, a rope!"
A few moments later, Kelsey sat cross-legged a short distance away resting her elbow on her knee and her cheek on her fist as she watched Jack try to drag The Black Pearl across the sand. Kelsey shook her head. The crab sat besides her watching with mild interest before Jack collapsed backwards at her side.
That's when she noticed something. There were many white rocks surrounding them. White rocks that hadn't been there moments earlier. Crabs. "Jack…" she cried anxiously as she scrambled to her feet. The crabs casually scuttled around the two of them. Kelsey leapt to her feet while Jack lay prone on the ground. The crabs seemed to surround The Pearl, launching themselves under and around it. Kelsey's jaw hung open. "Jack… you're gonna want to see this!" she cried.
Jack awkwardly sat up and stared at the ship. The crabs were moving it! For a few moments the two of them sat there Both with dumfounded and rather slack jawed expressions) before they rose to their feet and chased after the Pearl.
-888-
When Rob opened his eyes, he was sprawled on some strange beach. He coughed up salt water and spat out a mouthful of sand. "Emma?" he cried. Emma lay there besides him still tied to his waist. "Emma," he sighed with relief once she lifted her head. She shook her head, her limp pigtails swatting back and forth. She made a rough coughing sound and spat out a mouthful of water. At that moment, Emma's pointed straw hat floated up onto the beach. Inside it was Tinker Bell. Tink shook her wet wings before zooming over to Emma's shoulder.
"I think I swallowed The Ocean," Emma mumbled.
Rob smiled with relief. "Really? The entire Ocean?" He gave her a thump on her back and she coughed up more saltwater. "You okay Allie?" he asked
"I think so," Alice said. "But I'm so dizzy." Jackie lifted her head besides Alice. She pulled a strand of seaweed from her hair and tossed it aside.
"I c-c-can't see a thing," Jackie said looking around. Alice reached up to her face and swiped the diamond shaped glasses from her face and placed them back on Jackie's. "Oh," Jackie laughed sheepishly. "M-m-much better."
"This truly is a God forsaken place," Gibbs said as he rose stiffly to his feet. The other crew members were coming ashore shaking water from their clothes and looking around the new beach.
"I don't see Jack," Elizabeth cried. "I don't see anyone." Rob frowned and looked around anxiously.
"He's here," Barbosa declared. "Davy Jones never once gave up that what he took."
"Jack might be the exception," Sophia said as she wrung out her skirts. "Who would want to keep Jack?"
"And does it matter?" Will snapped angrily. "We're trapped here by your doing, no different of Jack." At that moment, a white crab scattered over to Tia Dalma. She picked it up and stroked its back affectionately. "Witty Jack is closer than you tink," she smiled.
"Rob!" Emma cried tugging on his hand. "Look!" she cried. Rob stared for a few moments in disbelief. The Black Pearl was coming towards them. The ship rose up over the sand before it was lightly tossed into the sea.
"Are those crabs?" Alice asked.
"Impossible!" Tai Huang cried.
Ragetti pointed in disbelief, "Boat." he stammered. Suddenly, a figure emerged from the distance. The swaggering posture was unmistakable. It was Jack Sparrow back from the dead.
"Slap me thrice and hand me to me momma! It's Jack!" Gibbs cried. Rob wanted to spring forwards and hug the crusty old pirate, but something about the way he was walking made him halt. The crew cried out happily and raced towards Jack who was striding towards them as though he didn't realize that he was walking in the middle of Davey Jones' locker. It seemed like he was in some sort of daze... and he looked angry It wasn't the reaction that Rob had been expecting.
"Jack!" Emma cried happily, running forwards to embrace Jack. She forgot about the rope tying her to Rob and fell backwards once the rope was taut. Rob gazed at Jack suspiciously. "One moment, Em," Rob said. "I think there's something wrong with him... more than usual."
"Mr. Gibbs!" Jack snapped.
"Aye cap'n," Gibbs smiled oblivious to Rob's concerns.
"I thought so," Jack snapped. "I expect you're able to account for your actions then."
"Sir?" Gibbs asked in confusion.
"There's been a perpetual and virulent lack of discipline upon my vessel," Jack snapped. Gibbs and Rob exchanged confused glances. "Why? Why is that sir?" Jack demanded.
"Sir, you're... you're in Davy Jones Locker, cap'n," Gibbs explained.
Jack looked about in confusion. "You know..." Rob said gently. "Disney purgatory?"
"I know that." Jack said suddenly.
"No you didn't," he heard Kelsey's voice behind him.
"I know where I am." Jack piped. He turned and glared at her. "And don't think I don't!"
"He's lost his mind," Rob muttered, keeping his hands on Emma's shoulders.
Barbosa, however, didn't have any issues taunting the confused pirate. He stepped forwards with a smile, "Jack Sparrow."
"Ah, Hector!" Jack grinned swaggering towards him. "It's been too long, hasn't it?"
"Aye. Isla de Muerta, remember? You shot me." Barbosa snapped
"No I didn't," he retorted before moving along. "Tia Dalma! Out and about, eh? You add an agreeable sense of macabre to any delirium." Tia Dalma smiled at him.
Will shook his head, "He thinks we're a hallucination."
Jack looked over at Will. "William, tell me something. Have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel, rather, damsel in distress? Either one."
Will thought for a moment. Kelsey would never forgive him for considering her a "Distressing damsel" "No." he said at last.
"Well then you wouldn't be here would you? So you can't be here. QED, you're not really here," Jack cried.
Elizabeth pushed her way to his side. "Jack. This is real, we're here."
Jack stared at them in confusion for a few moments before he turned to Gibbs. "The Locker? You say?" he asked.
"Aye sir," Gibbs said.
"Jack," Rob finally managed to interrupt. "I'm really happy to see you, but we need you to focus. Where's Kelsey?"
"Where's Kelsey?" Jack cried aghast. "Where's Kelsey?" He turned towards Kelsey who stood a few paces behind him. "I always thought you were exaggerating about his lack of sense. I was so wrong to doubt you." Kelsey shrugged.
"Jack who are you talking to?" Will asked, his brow furrowed in concern.
"I don't care," Rob cried. Panic was slowly beginning to enter his voice. "Seriously, where's my sister?"
"Seriously she's right there," Jack snapped. "Are you blind and daft?" He pointed to where Kelsey stood a short distance away.
"Jack…" Will said slowly. "There's no one there."
"What… what do you…?" Jack glanced over his shoulder at Kelsey. She smiled sadly and waved at him. Suddenly, it all made sense to Jack. Why there was only one Kelsey. Why he was the only one who talked to Kelsey. Why no one else could see her.
Kelsey wasn't really there.
"Love," he cried. "After all we've been through You didn't have the decency to tell me that you're a hallucination?"
The hallucination shrugged. "Sorry Jack," she said. "I honestly thought you would have figured it out. I mean there was only one of me and hundreds of you?"
"So…" Jack said. "If you're only a figment of my imagination… where's the real Kelsey?"
"Sorry," the hallucination said. "But if you don't know… there's no way I could know." A few moments later, she vanished. And Jack was once again left without Kelsey.
"But... but... why?" Jack asked. "Why would I imagine you?"
"I guess you needed something to hold on to, to keep you sane?" "Kelsey" said. "Well... relatively speaking anyway. Sorry Jack." She smiled sadly before she faded away. Jack stood there staring at the hallucination as though she would reappear again and the rest of them would suddenly see her. As though this were some trick. Some magic from The Book?"
But Jack knew in his heart what was true. Kelsey had never been with him. She was gone.
ADDITIONAL AUTHOR'S NOTE: Due to the content of this chapter, the author of this fan fiction has entered witness protection to avoid mobs of angry readers. She requests that you please remember all of the good friendly, funny chapters she has written before you get the angry mob together :D