This is the song I listened to when writing this. you just have to type the normal youtube url in before this and copy and paste this at the end.

/watch?v=6gf30DJvsGA

If that doesn't work just type this in the youtube search:

Above & Beyond pres. OceanLab - On A Good Day (Acoustic mix)

Chapter 37

Hinata hated funerals.

Funerals symbolized the death of someone important to her, someone who she was not strong enough to save before it was too late. Had it been her fault that her father was too wounded to fend off the foreign shinobi? If she had stayed with him, if she had not let her temper flare, would she have been able to help him?

Guilt cursed through her veins like lead.

She couldn't bring herself to look at his coffin or the picture of his serious face that sat in front of it. Her feet remained trained on her feet. She was wearing shinobi sandals—black. She wore shinobi pants—black. She wore a loose fitted shirt—black. Sasuke had been the one to suggest the wardrobe in lieu of a dress. She was glad she listened to him because she felt stronger in shinobi attire. She felt like they were a wall, holding her up, protecting her from falling to her knees and crying her eyes out.

—or maybe that was what Sasuke's hand was doing?

He was the only thing keeping her from crawling into a corner and shutting out the world. Her gaze moved from their conjoined hands and up his side until she could see his eyes. They were dark and unreadable. He was looking straight ahead at the person making a speech—a speech that she hadn't caught a word of since the first few. Is this how it felt when his clan died?

She felt selfish, comparing one death to hundreds.

She had sat through a funeral before, after all. She remembered her little bald sister not being able to attend—too noisy for such a serious event. Hinata had held Hiashi's hand, not really sure what was going on. Some of her clansmen took turns saying nice things about her mother. They looked at her with pity in their clear eyes.

"Poor foolish heiress, doesn't understand what is going on…"

"..naïve girl, will grow up with only parent."

"…is this the future of the Hyuuga clan?"

Hinata had decided she never wanted to be looked at with pity again after that. She kept asking where her mother was, and each time it would make her father angrier and angrier. He would always say, "she left." He wouldn't say anything more after that. Eventually, it would make him so mad that he would lash out. Hinata learned not to ask about her mother.

Hinata learned how to tolerate pain.

Close your eyes and count to thirty, she would tell herself. Squeeze them tight and squeeze your firsts so tightly that they shake.

The pain of needing oxygen would make her forget about the physical or emotional pain.

She looked at Sasuke, at the way he was standing so straight and so still. Is that what he was doing—bracing himself? She gave his hand a tight squeeze holding it there. His eyes finally moved to hers.

The memories hurt, his eyes told her.

I'm here for you, his body language told her.

Hinata hoped that both of hers said the same.

Sasuke stared straight ahead. He had been to too many funerals. Time helps wounds heal, but they're still there. The fear of death is gone, but the scar is still there. Sometimes you can feel pain in a limb that has been missing for years. Sometimes you go to grab something with a missing arm and then it hits you like a bucket of ice water—"it's gone, idiot. You should be used to it by now."

But your heart just laughs and says, "Never."

Sasuke wanted nothing more than to leave—to leave this dreary place filled with hidden memories, and forget himself. He wanted to feel anything but the pain of being completely and utterly useless.

He was too weak to save his parents.

He grabbed Hinata's hand.

What if he was too weak to save her?

Sasuke didn't show what he was feeling—not when he felt Hinata's prying eyes, not when he listened to the Hokage's speech.

"He loved his two daughters. He loved his family. He loved his clan. He put those things above all else. He never wavered in his resolve. He never—"

Hinata's hand squeezed his tightly. If she had let go after a second, he would have kept on pretending he was in a different place all together. But she didn't. Her large eyes stayed focused on him, her hand held his in a near death grip.

He allowed himself to look at her, to take all of her in. Their eyes met. He knew it was his undoing. He could school his face, he knew the right body language, but he couldn't shield his eyes. Her eyes were just as expressive.

I don't want to remember, her eyes said.

We have each other, her body language said.

Sasuke could only squeeze her hand back and look forward again, losing himself in the darker corners of his mind.

Hanabi had been the one to awaken and order her sister to check on their father. She had been the one who kept seeing his visage standing in the shadows of her room. She slept with her lights on that night.

The next day at the hospital, Hinata told her the news. Her father was dead. He had been dead for almost twenty-four hours. No one thought to tell her earlier?

That night she slept with her lights off, feeling nostalgic as she thought about her early childhood. Everything had been simple back then. Hanabi had always thought she was stronger than Hinata. She thought so because she never cried over a lost mother, she never cried about a father's cruel words. She was the stronger daughter, the rightful heir.

Hanabi had not known her mother.

She had no one to cry for, nothing to cry about.

Hanabi only let the tears fall in the darkness of her room. She would allow herself this one time to let it all out. Come tomorrow it would be as if it never happened. She would be her usual self. She would demand that she be let out of the hospital. She would go to her clansmen's aid and help them in anyway she could. She would make Hyuuga right.

Tonight, she would sob quietly into her pillow. She would think about the perfect family that could have been. Her father, Hiashi, standing tall and proud. A faceless woman with hair like Hinata's and a smile like her own. Her sister, Hinata, standing smiling by her mother. Herself standing in between her parents with a smile that she hadn't shown in ages.

She cried because that could never happen.

It had been ripped from her by the cruel tides of fate.

For the first time in her fourteen years of life, she felt worthless.

What was her purpose? The only one she had left was Hinata.

It was then, in that hospital room with her heart monitor beeping in the background, that Hanabi's life changed. She wiped her eyes and rolled over to the dry side of the pillow. She made one decision. That was all it took—a decision and perseverance.

She was going to change the Hyuuga clan.

—not because she was a weak, frightened little girl.

She would lead the Hyuuga clan to revolution, so that no one would ever have to feel the same pain she felt in her chest now.

The same confusing ache for someone she hated and feared, but cared for and loved.

She would never let anyone have their parents ripped from them. Not the way hers had—through secrets and lies and betrayal.

She pulled herself out of her bed, removing the various wires attached to her. A flat note sounded from the heart monitor. She pulled off her hospital gown in the dark and put back on a slightly bloodied pair of clothes. The cracking, dried blood would wash off.

She jumped out the window, welcoming the darkness that followed her from the hospital room. Darkness was her new ally.

She ran across the village, flying building to building like a phantom. She was running in an endless tunnel of darkness. Where was the light at the end?

She dropped to the ground, pushing her way into the Hyuuga Compound. The scent of death still lingered in the air. She would be the Hyuuga's reckoning. There were bodies being carried to a proper burial site. Her fellow clansmen would pass by her without a glance. She was truly just a ghost.

Their eyes met.

Her usual mask cracked. Without it, she was an ambitious and scared young woman. Her eyes widened and she let out a quick breath of air.

There he was—the light at the end of the tunnel.

Hinata didn't cook dinner. They got take out from Ichiraku. They sat quietly at the kitchen table, both unwilling to break the silence that had fallen over them. The both thought to themselves as they ate their ramen.

They were both thinking about the same person.

Then Hinata blurted her thoughts aloud, before she could change her mind. "I'm leaving." Sasuke's eyes darted to hers. They held them, but that was the only expression on his face. He was trying too hard to guard it. His mask was too perfect. "I want to find my mother."

"Okay," he gulped out—because really, what could he say? He couldn't break his word, his promise to never speak of her mother to her. Sasuke's eyes left hers and fell instead onto his bowl. He continued eating seconds later.

"Is Hinata here…willingly?" Sakura had choked out.

"Obviously. Do you think I want her here?" Sasuke bit back. Sakura's temperamental nature spiked and she found herself screaming at the man in front of her.

"That's not what I mean!" She said as her anger sky rocketed. "Hinata's the type of person to stay out of guilt or pity!" Sasuke's face went blank, the guilt crashing down on him full force..

"Get out, Sakura." Sakura's mood plummeted.

"But Sasuke—"

"Get out. Get the fuck out of my house!"

He would never, ever hold Hinata against her will. She was a free spirit, a free person. Just because of his inadvertent marriage proposal, just because he felt like had known her his whole life, weren't good enough reasons to say aloud. He took each bite slowly, no longer enjoying the taste of warm food.

He made his way to her bed, sitting carefully next to her. He moved a lock of hair from her face, placing it behind her ear. She was so delicate, so alive. She reminded him of a fragile wildflower that needed to be well-cared for, or it would wither. She needed special care, yes, but she also needed freedom. She needed to have room to grow, so she could prosper.

Sasuke realized as he sat there, her soft hair running through his fingers, that he was preparing himself to say goodbye. She would never prosper while being locked up in his house. He had been her crutch when she needed it, when she had fallen blind and needed help getting back up on her feet. He would continue to be here for her whenever she needed, but he couldn't force her to stay. Sakura was right. Hinata was not the sort of person to stay because she was being physically forced. She was the sort of person that would stay because she felt emotionally obligated. He wouldn't have it.

So he would watch her go away. He would settle with the girl in the journal that he could never truly have. He would accept her anyway that she would let him. A friend, an acquaintance, a provider. He would do all these things for her, because she had already done all of them for him. She had opened his eyes—even for just a moment—to what life really was.

Sasuke felt the chopsticks slip from his fingers, landing delicately in his ramen. Hinata had long ago stopped trying to catch his eyes, and didn't even see it happen. Good. He could pretend he was fine. He could go back to the way things were before, when it was just him in his big empty house, when he would be pulled into the nightmares, when he was always cold at night.

He would go back to that because that's what she wanted of him. He would forever oblige. He picked up his bowl and put it in the sink, having lost his appetite. "I'm going to bed," was all he could get out before he nearly sprinted out of the room. He was not weak. He would not break. He did not need her if she did not need him. He could move on. He could live afterwards. He was not some love struck teenager. Life would go on.

He threw himself onto the bed that he and Hinata had shared countless nights. He tried to not notice her soft smell on the sheets. He tried to not pay attention to his surroundings. He tried to forget that he could take up the whole bed, that he could use two pillows instead of one.

He fell into a fitful sleep.

He hugged one of the pillows like he would Hinata.

Hinata was thinking about what her father had told her—about her mother being alive. Could it be true that after all those years she was right? Could it be possible that Hanabi could finally know what it was like to have a mother? She felt her heart flutter in excitement.

Then Hinata blurted her thoughts aloud, before she could change her mind. "I'm leaving." Sasuke's eyes darted to hers. Other than that, he did not react. "I want to find my mother."

Disagree with me. Tell me no. Tell me that you still want me.

"Okay," he said only seconds later, without hesitation. His eyes trailed down to focus on his food, not giving the matter a second though. Hinata felt her the tears prickling at the edges of her eyes. Still, she tried to meet his eyes, to see what he was thinking about—was ramen really more important? Was she that insignificant? Sasuke had always made her feel warm and wanted, unlike so many others in her life. She couldn't believe the way he was making her feel now.

She wouldn't let him see her cry, see her break into a million pieces in front of him. She tucked her chin, hiding her eyes behind thick bangs. She shouldn't be surprised. There had always been someone else.

He thrashed around a bit beside her before going stock still. Hinata sighed, pulling the blankets up to her chin. She didn't understand how he could be hot on such a cold night.

"Don't hurt…her…" Sasuke mumbled in his sleep. Hinata knew it was going to be a long night as soon as he would start talking. He always talked about a girl and it made Hinata's heart hurt.

"Don't…I love…her…" Hinata turned so she was facing the wall. She loved Sasuke and she promised herself that she would love him no matter what. But it still hurt.

"Stop! Nii-san!" At the sound of tears, she turned and put her arms around him. It was times like these, when he would cry during his dreams, that he needed the most comfort—the most reassurance that someone was there with him, for him.

The tears fell silently. Hinata had much practice in the art of hiding her tears. Would Sasuke be better off without her? He would no longer be hindered with all of her problems. She would be able to fulfill a promise she had made to herself.

"I found this journal under my bed. I forgot you gave it to me for my birthday," A six year old wrote in wobbly handwriting, all of her letter 'a's were written backward.

"I miss you really really really really really badly, mommy." She thought her mommy might see just how much she really missed her and come back so they could have a big happy family.

"Daddy hasn't been the same since you…went bye-bye." He's meaner. He doesn't smile ever. He doesn't look at me the same. He doesn't want anything to do with Hanabi.

"I think he misses you too, but won't say it out loud." Why else would he be so distant? He didn't even rock her to sleep anymore!

"My little sister is so cute! You would have loved to see her." She's still bald and her head looks way too big for her body, but Hinata did not want to be mean.

"I want you to come back. Can you come back for me? Can you come and take me with you?" Why did you leave me, mommy? Do you not like it here with me? Am I not enough for you to be happy?

"I don't like it here anymore." I'm not happy here either, mommy. Daddy is too forceful. His training is no longer gentle. Every touch is extremely painful.

"If you can't pick me up then that's okay. Just don't forget about me, okay?" I just don't want to be alone, I can't be alone. Who is going to help me in your garden? Who is going to clip my bangs out of my face?

" I love you." Little Hinata felt too many emotions going through her at once, her small mind couldn't process them all so she left it simple. Those three words conveyed her pain, her happiness, her sorrow, her hate.

Hinata was jolted from an old memory when Sasuke suddenly jumped out of his chair. He picked up his bowl and put it in the sink. Then he left with hasty words. "I'm going to bed." His indifference hurt her more than he might ever know. She wanted him to stand up for her…was it her own fault he didn't?

It's not his fault, she told herself. He can't read my mind.

Hinata did not sleep that night. Her belongings were still mostly in her original room, not the one she and Sasuke had taken to sharing. She packed up what belongings she needed in her old shinobi bag, surprised she still owned it. Why had she never thrown it away? Oh, that's right—hope. She had hoped that she could some day be a shinobi again.

She passed quietly by Sasuke's room but couldn't stop herself from sneaking a peak into the room. He was in a deep sleep, lashing around just slightly as if he was having a very vivid dream.

He's probably having dreams about her, Hinata thought bitterly.

As soon as the thought was thought, she regretted it. Since when had she become such a bitter old woman?

Her mother would not be proud.

With that thought, she pushed herself forward. She pushed herself to forget the slumbering Sasuke that dreamed of unknown nightmares. She forgot about what the feeling felt like—not that far away, false one that she had grown up with. No, she forgot what it felt like to be loved.

Her side of the bed was cold. She hadn't come to sleep that night. Sasuke ran a hand through his hair, trying to forget the image of a masked man running through Hinata with a katana over and over again.

He pushed himself out of his bed and listened for movement in the house. There was none. Hinata was not loud by any stretch, but there were always little signs of her. He walked to her old room, wondering if she had slept there after the awkwardness of dinner last night.

She wasn't there. Neither were any of her belongings. A single letter sat on her bed. He walked to her bed slowly, dragging his feet. Did he really want to read it? He wouldn't forget anything he read on it…just like he could never forget all of the memories he shared with her. Would it get easier, without her? Would time take away the ache in his chest—the same ache of loneliness, of being the last of something, of having only yourself?

He took a deep breath. Since when was he a coward? He opened it.

Dear Sasuke,

He laughed, it was the same handwriting from the journal. It was a sad laugh, though. He felt no satisfaction of his theory being proven right. He just felt empty.

I have to find her. I hope you understand. She is the only family Hanabi and I have left. She left to protect us. Imagine how rough it must have been for her, not being able to see her family for so many years. I've dreamed of bringing her back since I was five years old and my father said, "she left." I always had this dream that I could bring her back, that Hanabi could meet her mother. That we could all live happily together. I have to chase it, Sasuke. Please understand. I love you. But my duty is to my family, to my sister, to my mother.

Much love, and goodbye,

Hinata

He laughed bitterly again, letting himself slide down onto her bed. She was chasing after someone she would never find. Her mother was locked up in a cell somewhere under Konoha awaiting her execution. But he couldn't tell Hinata this, he couldn't tell her to stop chasing after lost dreams. He had promised he wouldn't. That promise was kicking his ass.

The bed smelled of Hinata, but he knew her scent wouldn't linger long. That as the only sign of her in this room. He jumped to his feet and ran to their shared room. Their bed smelled like a mix of the two of them, but soon it would only hold his. He ran downstairs to the kitchen. There were some leftovers in the fridge, but those would mold and be thrown away. Was there really no permanent signs of her left? Did she really deny him that final wish?

He walked outside his front door, remembering when he had first seen her curled up there in the rain. She looked so weak, so vulnerable. Was she strong enough now to be on her own, traveling to who knows where?

A fluttering of red caught his eye. He moved his arm to see Hinata's red ribbon that he had tied to his arm so many months ago. He had used it to tie a pack of ice to his aching anbu tattoo. Now, with a sigh, he realized that it was the only thing he had left of her. He wasn't taking it off anytime soon. Instead, he tied it lower on his arm, just above his elbow. That way everyone could see it.

No matter what, he was hers. Even if she would never be his.

When Sasuke said forever, he meant it.

Hanabi was helping clean up all of the destruction that had occurred during the civil war. Many of the Main house rooms had been destroyed or damaged. She was currently cleaning a room with Hideki on her side.

She felt a blush creep up her neck.

His hair wasn't kept long like most of the men of the Hyuuga clan. Instead, it laid almost to his eyebrows in a sort of unkempt "I don't give a fuck" style that could only remind Hanabi of bed head. Somehow, it looked extremely attractive on him. Most Hyuuga would wear there hair pulled back so their clear eyes would be their most noticeable feature. Hanabi had always seen this as some kind of inferiority complex, like they weren't anything without their precious byakugan. Hideki didn't seem to have this problem.

Hanabi stopped scrubbing the floor with a sponge. She was turning into such a girl! She looked over at Hideki, trying to forget that this was the very same room she had set to flames. The very same room she had burned every last memory of Hinata in.

When Hanabi had come back to the compound and everyone refused to look at her, to acknowledge her, Hideki did. He acknowledged her and even gave her a little smile, shared just between them. Then he yelled at everyone else about how stupid they were being.

"This is your leader you won't even acknowledge!"

"A leader that betrayed us in our time of need. A leader who taught the main house to use the seal on us." Hanabi couldn't say anything to counter that. It was true. She had done it.

"Everyone makes mistakes. You're going to miss out on one of the best leaders Hyuuga might ever have just because of one mistake that can be fixed?"

Why was he defending her? This guy she had never held a conversation with, never even noticed, was sticking up for her. Why?

"I'm sorry," she said quickly, and somewhat quietly. Everyone in the clearing heard her though. They stopped what they were doing and turned to her, giving her their full attention. They were accepting her too easily. She didn't feel like she deserved it. "I'm sorry! I know those are just words, but they will become actions. I want to revolutionize our clan. I want to destroy the barriers between the houses."

People were moving closer, with accepting looks on their faces. Some of them cheered their approval. Other just showed little smiles. "If you can forgive me for my previous mistakes, and can let me become your leader again, I promise to never abandon you. I promise to never let a brother or sister of mine be hurt under outdated tradition!"

The people around her were really cheering now. Hideki's hand landed on her right shoulder and she moved her head so she could look at him. "Good job, Leader-sama."

"No, just Hanabi. We're all equal now." The smile he gave her as well as the happy twinkle in his eyes, made her mind turn to jelly and her heart race. How had she never noticed this amazing person before?

"Hanabi," Hideki spoke, pulling her from her thoughts. He moved some debris and showed her a brown box. He dusted it off and opened it, revealing its contents. Hanabi nearly cried.

"This…these…I thought they were gone." She looked at various pictures of Hinata and her. She looked at the first kunai Hinata had given her, a flower that Hinata had taught her how to press, rocks they had collected in the Hyuuga gardens. She felt her eyes tear up just a bit and smiled at Hideki. He was already searching her eyes.

"You and your sister were close," he theorized.

"She was more like a mother than a sister. She taught me almost everything I know."

"She must be a smart girl then," he smiled at her and she realized that they must be flirting. Hanabi was too bold of a person to be content with flirting.

"I'm going to kiss you," she told him matter-of-factly. To his credit, his eyes only bulged for a second before he nodded and the young Hyuuga clan leader placed her lips on his. It was short and she pulled away quickly. "Is that what its supposed to feel like—a shock through your system?"

"Hmm," Hideki said as he placed his hands on her sides and pulled her closer to him. She gave a little squeak as his lips hovered over her own. His voice dropped an octave. "I'm not sure. We'll have to test it again."

They kissed a little longer this time, before Hanabi pushed against his chest to pull away. She gasped for air. Hideki just smirked.

"T-that…! You cant just kiss me whenever you want!"

"Says who?"

"Me!"

"You didn't seem to mind," he said and she realized his hands were still on her sides.

"You're two years older than me."

"And?"

"I'm not having sex with you," she blurted, slowly turning red. Hideki laughed so hard his hands left her sides and grabbed his aching lungs. "It's not that funny."

It took him a moment to sober his laughing and turn to her seriously, even if he had a goofy grin still on his face. Yep, she went for the dorky ones. This one was quite sexy, though.

"All I wanted was a kiss."

"Well, you got it," she said tersely. He pulled her close to him again, the smile never leaving his face.

"I don't have enough evidence to prove my theory, though."

"What theory?"

"That you can turn as red as a tomato." She slapped his chest. He ignored it and pressed his lips to hers. Three kisses in only moments! Hanabi felt dizzy—from what, she didn't know. Her hand on his chest bunched his shirt in her hands and held him close to her.

Moments later, they both gasped for air. "Happy?" she said, through breaths of air.

"Very," he said cheekily.

Hanabi rolled her eyes.

The doorbell rang. Sasuke ran down the stairs and pulled the door open. It wasn't Hinata.

"Sasuke?" Iruka said, a manila file in his hand.

"How can I help you?" he asked, trying not to show his disappointment. It wasn't his old sensei's fault.

"Remember when you asked me to grab all those files of girls that were in your academy class?"

"Yes," Sasuke spoke. That was months ago.

"Well, I filed Hinata's file wrong. I hate alphabetical order—it's the worst organization tool ever created." Sasuke waited for him to get back on track. Iruka cleared his throat. "I found something interesting in here that you might want to know. It involves you."

Sasuke accepted the file and looked down at it, rifling through its contents. Iruka mumbled something about Kakashi and millions of files before disappearing.

The last page caught his attention.

He found himself laughing at it.

"This entire time…" he spoke slowly, to himself.

A certificate showing that Hinata Hyuuga was to be betrothed to the Uchiha heir, whomever he may be, sat in his hand.

"We were engaged this entire time."

He looked at her pedigree. Her great-grandmother was an Uchiha. He laughed again.

The person he loved…

The person who would also guarantee the reviving of his clan…

He had lost her.

Sasuke went inside and placed the file on the table with her little brown journal.

He would move on.

He would continue to live.

"All stories must come to an end."

THE END