Chapter 34

Sparrow walked through the door of the cabin, a sackful of fresh herbs and flowers clutched in her hands. She knew Jimmy was tired of the pastes on his chest and decided to make him a tea this time instead. Maybe the tea would help him breathe better. She glanced over to the bed and saw him curled up on his side, sleeping. She soundlessly walked over to him and crouched on the floor by his side. His chest rose and fell steadily as he breathed, he was still wheezing but the sound was not as bad as it had been the day before. Her hand grazed his forehead, his skin was hot to the touch and sweaty, but his color looked a little better, she tried to find some assurance in that. She moved a stray strand of hair away from his face and then sat back on her heels. He was going to live, she told herself not for the first time. The Great Spirit would not leave a vision incomplete. They still needed to travel to where Running Buck lived. Jimmy was her wolf, their fates were linked together, of this she had no doubt.

'Please,' she prayed, 'I cannot go through this again. I won't watch another...'

She stopped her thought and closed her eyes tightly against the invading memory. She shivered even in the warmth of the summer day... it had been so cold when they got sick. Her little ones never had a chance.

"Sparrow... are they?" Fast Thunder gasped as he struggled to raise his head. Even though she had tried to quiet her sobs, the sound of her crying woke her husband from his fitful sleep. She could only nod as her tears continued to fall,

"They suffer no more, the Great Spirit granted them sleep and took the breath of Kicking Eagle, then Red Horse, " her voice shook as she looked over to the lifeless bodies of her young sons, cuddled next to each other in their tipi. Fast Thunder let out a strangled cry and reached his hand to grab hers.

"My mourning will be brief, I will join them soon," he held her hand tightly.

Sparrow's eyes flew to his. She saw the truth of his words in his red rimmed and bloodshot eyes. He fought for every breath, his will was strong but his body too weak to fight much longer. Sparrow cried out the sound of mourning of her people and laid her head against his chest.

"Then I will die with you," she sobbed.

"You will not die, your time is not now," he tried to continue but he was seized with coughs so deep his entire body convulsed with their force. Sparrow motioned him to not speak but he shook his head.

"These may be my last words on this earth to you, my wife... you are to live or you would have fallen sick like the rest of my people. Live... find your destiny. Carry myself and our sons in your spirit always. We live now through you." It was too difficult to speak anymore after that. Fast Thunder closed his eyes as he used what strength he had left to breathe. He opened his eyes one last time, mouthed the words, 'my wife', then closed them again. With one last shuddering breath, he was gone.

Jimmy woke slowly as he struggled to open his eyes. He sensed her first before he saw her.

"Sparrow? What's wrong, honey?" Jimmy asked as he blinked and brought her into focus.

"Sparrow?"

His mind cleared quickly as he took in the sight of the woman kneeling beside him. She was pale, her hands were balled into fists in her lap, but her expression, he almost felt like reaching for his guns just looking at her, something was terribly wrong. She was staring right at him, but at the same time, right past him, not seeing him at all. A trickle of tears ran unchecked down her face. She hadn't blinked or moved since he called her name.

"Sparrow?" he said quietly, unsure.

He reached for her and touched her cheek. She startled away from him as if she had been burned.

"Ai-yah," she wailed, her hands moved now as she continued lament in Kiowa.

'They were taken from me; Fast Thunder, Kicking Eagle, Red Horse... they walk the spirit world. The only one to speak their names now is Sparrow. I cut my hair. I made a funeral pyre. There were so few to mourn. So few lived through the White Man's sickness to remember the brave warrior Fast Thunder, fewer still who knew the smiles of my...sons.'

Her hands fell lifeless into her lap as she finally released her grief in full. Jimmy found strength in spite of his illness and moved to the edge of the bed. He crawled down to the floor next to her and held her in his arms. His vision blurred as he absorbed her pain. Sparrow finally looked up after she felt like she had no more tears left, seeing him really for the first time since he woke. She brushed her hand lightly against his face. He had cried for her.

'You must not die, Jimmy.'

"Wasn't planning on it any time soon. Too much to live for," he looked straight into her eyes when he said it, his meaning was clear. She dried her eyes with the back of her hand and returned the gaze, then nodded slowly.

'I did not tell you this, when I returned to the Kiowa, my name became 'Dark Sparrow'. My grief was so strong. For months I ate and slept little. Red Bear told me to remarry and push the darkness away. I tried out of respect for him. I allowed Long Spear to court me,'

Jimmy frowned as he realized she had signed another man's name,

"What happened to this 'Long Spear'?"

Sparrow couldn't help but smile at his disgruntled expression,

'I may have married him, though it felt wrong to tie a man to a ghost woman, here in body only, longing for the spirit world... but then the Great Spirit gave me my vision with Running Buck and you. For the first time in eighteen moons there was light on my path. I knew I would find a reason to live.'

Sparrow put Jimmy's rough and calloused hand in her smaller ones and gave it a squeeze. Jimmy leaned forward to kiss her, he felt like his heart was going to burst right out of his chest, so strong were his feelings for her, but he started to cough instead.

"Sorry," he choked out.

Sparrow quickly got to her feet and brushed herself off, and shook her head to clear her sadness and the memories away from what she needed to do right then.

"Bed," she said in English. She offered him her arm. He tried to bat it away but she insisted on helping him return to his previous position.

"You don't need to fuss over me, I was meaning to tell you when you got home that I'm doing much better today, honest," he pleaded as he eyed the sack of herbs she was currently sifting through at the table.

'I will not make paste,' she assured.

"Oh good. Sorry, but that stuff smells like, well, something Sundance dropped."

She wrinkled her nose at him,

'I will make you tea.'

"Is it going to taste bad?"

"Yes," she answered, arching her eyebrow at him as he grumbled.

"Oh, hell, woman,"

Sparrow made a shushing sound, he suspected it was the sound used on small, disobedient children and that made him frown deeper.

Soon the tea was finished brewing and Sparrow sat next to him to make sure he finished every drop. Jimmy forced the last gulp down his throat, then returned the mug to Sparrow's waiting hands.

"There, you happy now?" he said, still trying to be grumpy, but felt the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile.

Sparrow looked at the mug in her hands then back to him. She thought about his question.

"I am happy," she said slowly in English, "you make happy."

Jimmy looked up at her in surprise. She had a beautiful smile on her face, her eyes shone with tears.

"Com'ere, sweetie," was all he could think to say.

He patted the spot next him on the bed. Sparrow nodded, put the mug on the floor and moved over until she was comfortable, laying in the crook of his arm. Jimmy placed a kiss on the top of her head and sighed.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you, why the Great Spirit sent you to me, but I ain't going to look at that too hard. I know it's only been a few weeks, but I can't imagine my life without you by my side like this," he said as he squeezed her closer to him. Then he shifted a bit until they were laying side by side so she could better see his signs.

"I'm sorry I went and got sick on you. Here I had been thinking that taking a while to get to Rock Creek would be alright, cause Lou is going through some powerful grief herself. Thought it might bring back some bad memories, but then I did that for you, worse maybe even than being around Lou. I'll listen to your warnings from here on out, alright?"

Sparrow nodded. She saw the warmth in his light brown eyes for her and snuggled in closer. He was going to get better, she could feel his strength, his energy. She allowed herself to relax for the first time in days, and immediately felt sleepy. Jimmy ran a hand down her cheek, she made a murmuring sound of contentment.

"I do make you happy, don't I? Might even be about as much happiness as you bring me. It's some sort of miracle. We suit each other, Sparrow."

'I never laugh when I live with Kiowa. You make me laugh every day. You are in my heart, Jimmy,' she signed languidly as she grew increasingly sleepy.

"You're in my heart too, Sparrow."

Sparrow gazed at Jimmy intently. His eyes reflected the truth of his words. She moved even closer to him.

'Get better soon, Jimmy,' she signed with a yawn. Jimmy put his hand in hers, then allowed his eyes to close. Moments later they were both asleep.

A loud bang of the door flying open woke them up a while later. Sparrow was up and over by the table clutching one of Jimmy's guns before Jimmy even had a chance to sit up and understand what was going on.

"Merde! Qu'est-ce qui se passe ici?"

A large, older obviously French trapper stood in the open doorway of the cabin. His cabin, Jimmy realized instantly. He had his rifle trained on Sparrow. Sparrow held his gun steady, pointed right at the man's heart. She looked furious.

"Sparrow, put the gun down. We'll try to talk this out," he said as he tried to get her attention to look at his signs.

She never turned her head, but growled at the intruding man instead.

"Parles-tu francais?" The Frenchman asked, casting a leery eye on Sparrow.

"If you're asking if I speak French? Not a word. Neither does Sparrow here, I don't think. She does know you've got a gun pointed at her though... she don't like it." Jimmy said as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

He moved to stand next to Sparrow and put a hand on her arm to lower the weapon, but she wouldn't budge. He sighed and leaned against a chair as he looked at the trapper pointedly.

"D'accord," the trapper said as he lowered his rifle, "Je M'appelle Jean-Baptiste Toulouse, et vous?"

Jimmy sighed in relief as Sparrow lowered the gun as well,

"You said your name is Jean... Baptiste, is it? I'm Jimmy, this is Sparrow, and we must be in your cabin," Jimmy said with a cough as he sat down.

"Oui... Yes. I will use your English words. My cabin. You must leave. I will need now."

'Is he saying we have to go? You are not well to travel!' Sparrow signed with a flourish.

Jimmy rubbed his fingertips to his temples. His headache was getting worse, 'wait,' he signed to Sparrow before turning back to Jean-Baptiste.

"Look, Jean, I'm sorry we're in your cabin. We needed it when Sparrow got hurt and now I've been sick, but you'll see we've kept the place nice and tidy for you."

"You are young man, you will take your horse, recover on the trail." Jean-Baptiste said as he turned to look at Sparrow more closely.

"Your woman is beautiful, non? She may stay if you want to be free of her burden," he took a step closer to Sparrow who just glared at him.

"Free...burden?" Jimmy sputtered.

'What did he say?' Sparrow demanded.

"We're leaving now," he said and signed for both of their benefits, then just for Sparrow,

'we're not safe here.'

Sparrow scoffed,

'This fat man will fall asleep soon. Then I will kill him. I am sorry I never made a scalp shirt.'

Jimmy snorted trying not to laugh.

'Ok, so we leave so that it is safe for him.'

"What is she saying?" Jean-Baptiste eyed Sparrow suspiciously, "did she just sign?" and then he repeated the motion for 'kill'.

Jimmy should've known the trapper would know at least a few signs, the important ones anyway. He thought about going into detail about how Sparrow could kill him, just to watch the man squirm, but instead just smiled and shook his head.

"You don't want to know."

Jean-Baptiste watched them through hooded lids from his chair at the table, his rifle resting in his lap as they packed their things. Sparrow helped Jimmy dress, then loaded up the horses. They were on the trail headed to Rock Creek within a half hour. It would be slow going.

Several days later they were finally making some progress. Jimmy figured if they pushed on just a little bit further that evening, got a few hours of rest with an early start in the morning, they'd make Rock Creek by the following afternoon. It was helping that he felt about as good as new. He grudgingly had to admit that Sparrow's awful tasting teas were doing their job. Also helping their progress was the fact that Sparrow was a damn fine horsewoman. Not that he should have been surprised. Buck was one of the best riders they had. He could probably do a handstand on his horse at full gallop and Sparrow was the same way. She rode her dark brown mare with a straight back and effortless grace. With her long flowing hair tossed back in the breeze and the way her eyes shone when she caught his glance, she was a beautiful and alluring sight to behold.

She caught Jimmy watching her throughout the day and felt heat creep onto her cheeks. She felt like a girl at her first summer gathering, watching all the young braves stomp the earth and charge into each other to impress her and the other young women. She had only just started to appreciate this showing off as anything other than silly games when she had been given to Fast Thunder at fifteen summers. Soon after she was a mother. She grew to appreciate her husband as a man, father, warrior, but never had he made her heart race the way Jimmy could with just a look, a touch. His face was so open, she could see his desire for her. Now that his strength had returned and she was healed, she felt his longing feeding her own.

They made camp after dusk and ate the pemmican Sparrow had packed followed by what she promised would be the last tea Jimmy would have to drink. They sat in companionable silence as the stars took their place in the night sky. A half moon shone brightly and gave just enough light to cast a reflection in the creek right next to their campsite.

Jimmy scooted next to Sparrow after putting a little more kindling on their small fire. He had been thinking over some things all day, and now that he was actually able to give his jumbled feelings a name, the words were burning in his mouth, begging to be released.

"Sparrow, I was hoping I could talk to you..." he began awkwardly. He gulped and cleared his throat. He had never been one for pretty words and cursed that fact, as Sparrow looked at him expectantly.

"I know we haven't known each other all that long, sometimes I forget that though. Feels like I've known you all my days. I need to tell you something before we get to Rock Creek tomorrow. How I'm feeling for you ain't going to go away when we get there. If anything I'm going to miss it just being you and me, despite how much I've missed everyone. You're special to me, like no other woman's ever been to me and that ain't going to change. I..." he stopped his voice and his hands.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he had no idea what the sign was for love, as a woman for a man. Sparrow's eyes were wide for him. He chose to say the words anyway. He needed to say them out loud, even if it was only for himself,

"I love you, Sparrow."

Sparrow recognized the passion in his voice even if she didn't know the words. She leaned into him, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, smiling into his mouth when he groaned.

"Mmm, wait now, I need to finish this in signs you can understand," he thought for a moment and then smiled.

"My heart is yours... always."

She watched the signs and felt warm all over. She blinked away rapidly gathering tears.

'Make ready for bed. I must wash.'

Sparrow leaned over and kissed the top of his head, then bounded up and walked quickly towards the stream. Jimmy sat there for a minute, watching her retreating back, wondering what in the world that reaction could mean. He had a pretty good idea her feelings were just as strong as his. Women were supposed to say the words back if they felt the same way, weren't they? She didn't seem to be coming back right away so he let out a heavy sigh and got to the work of making the beds for the night. He put out his bedroll and his blankets as well as her blankets right next to his. He stripped to his long johns and had just put himself under his covers when he heard her approaching.

"Sparrow?"

It took a moment, but she replied softly,

"Jimmy"

She said a few words in Kiowa that he didn't understand, she wasn't close enough yet to see her and he doubted he'd be able to see her signs in the darkness anyways. When she finally came into view, Jimmy's mouth dropped open. She was completely naked. She kneeled down beside him, and reached out her hands, she said his name again, whisper soft. Without another word, Jimmy opened his blanket for her. She crawled in next to him and he got to the work of keeping her warm. He had a fleeting thought of a conversation he had with Buck long ago. Sacredness, becoming one, marriage. As they began the dance as old as time, a tangle of arms, legs and pleasured moans, he knew exactly what this step meant in Sparrow's eyes. The moment he made her his own shook him to his very core. He could feel their souls and futures intertwining, as surely as if they were standing before the most holy of men. Later as they lay spent in each other's arms, he felt a deep sense of peace. Sparrow, his wife, loved him.

'I do not understand why I must wear this metal band, Jimmy.' Sparrow signed with a frown as she drew her horse closer to his.

It was rare for her to be nervous, but she was now, and Jimmy knew it. The reality that she was entering the white world was starting to sink in. Sparrow fingered the decorative lace on one of the sleeves of her riding outfit and longed for some colorful beadwork. She was quite skilled at beading and prided herself in the ability. The white women's clothes though, the lace... she wouldn't know where to start. She didn't know where she'd start in just about everything and the thought made her panicky. Which is why she appreciated Jimmy's constant stream of chatter the closer they got to Rock Creek. He told her in detail about everyone he considered family. He told her more about Running Buck than she had ever known. He even was taking a roundabout route so they'd miss the town all together and go straight to the ranch. That relieved her more than she'd care to admit.

Jimmy reached over and grabbed her hand in his, and gave her fingers a squeeze.

"Cause, Sweetheart, in the white world when two people get hitched, they wear wedding rings. It's a tradition. Make sure any man sniffing round you knows your taken." Jimmy concluded somewhat possessively.

Sparrow watched the signs with confusion. Her mind was such a whirl of thought, she had almost forgot what she had asked him initially. Then she smiled in spite of herself. Her husband. Jimmy understood what becoming one meant to her. In her heart she felt the Great Spirit's blessing. Joining her spirit with the wolf was her destiny. The realization filled her with such joy she spontaneously pulled the lead of Jimmy's horse as close to her own as she could and kissed him full on the mouth.

"What was that for?" Jimmy asked, half tempted to find a nearby stand of trees to seek the fulfillment that kiss promised.

"Aim own p'ayle doe," She said in the words of her people, then she took his hand and put it over her heart, her eyes begged him to understand.

"Do those words mean 'I love you'?" Jimmy asked, his smile grew ear to ear.

Sparrow thought about it.

'Yes, Kiowa words, white words mean the same.'

Jimmy pulled her into his lap, causing her to giggle and her horse to prance a bit before settling down.

"You don't have to wear a ring if you don't want to. I know what we are to each other," he said as he nuzzled her, his breath hot against her neck.

She sighed with eyes half closed.

'This ring is important to your people, I will wear it.'

"I'd much rather have you wear me, but spose that will have to wait for later."

Sparrow let out a laugh as she realized what she meant. Her fingers found his sides and she tickled him until he could take no more and stilled her hands with his own.

"We could even have a ceremony and papers all signed and legal that you're my wife. We could have friends come and Rachel could make some of her famous vittles and..." he stopped as he saw the confusion and anxiety obvious on her face.

"Well we can talk about all that some over time. What's important is that we're married, according to the Kiowa anyway. That's good enough for me."

'You will have to tell me more of ceremony. To Kiowa, when you share a tipi... married. I share your tipi, I am happy'.

Jimmy gave her a squeeze then looked ahead. His heart skipped a beat at the sight. Then he said to Sparrow softly as he signed,

"See that up there? It may not be a tipi, but it's the next best thing. That building up there is the ranch. We're home."

Sparrow peered at the horizon. The gently rolling stream on one side of the land. Large long horned animals grazing on fresh, green grass. A few chickens pecking at the dirt near the house. Her previous nerves faded away. Though she had never seen it before, she somehow knew this peaceful land. His home would now be her home, and his people, her people.

Jimmy hopped off his horse and then reached his arms out for her to dismount. He held her tightly in his arms, and gave her one last firm kiss before looking around.

"Sorta surprised no one heard us coming and came out to greet us. Wonder what's going on?" He took the steps in one long jump and threw open the front door,

"Hello, anyone home?"

A/N: Another chapter ends and a new chapter (in the lives of Jimmy and Sparrow anyways) begins. They're in love and now they're home! And what in the world could be going on at the ranch, so that no one is there to greet them? Tune in next time, for more adventures of our heroes in the continuing saga of Days of our Lives (or Divided, whichever)!

How are Buck and Lou doing? How will Lou react once Amanda finally spills the beans that she's in the family way... and oh yeah... Buck being reunited with his cousin and she's taken up with Jimmy. That might be... interesting :)

A big thank you to Mariel for providing me the link to a decent Kiowa dictionary. I had been looking for a long time, thank you, my friend!

I promise I'm writing the next chapter even now. My parents are in town for a week though... bah! I suppose I can't just ignore them every evening all week.

Anyways! Thanks for reading and reviewing! You guys are the best!