Chapter 37: Back

With all my heart I wanted to talk to him, I really did. And I almost did. I almost said yes, but then I remembered that he was literally just with another woman. How long ago had that even been? Last night?

"No Carlisle," I said, not wanting to hear the tears in my own voice. I scooted my chair away from the table, and went to leave the kitchen. "You were just with her."

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Carlisle, please don't pretend that you don't know what I mean," I whispered. I went to walk past him but he grasped my arm. His touch sent fireworks through my body.

"I'm not lying when I say this, Bella," he said. "I don't know what you mean."

"You were with her," I said. "I went to the apartment and found it empty. That was when I left you the note." With that, I pushed past him and went upstairs, feeling that I was on the verge of tears. I went into Jake's bedroom, and curled into a ball, facing the wall, on the bed. I wanted so badly to be in Carlisle's arms again, I literally ached for it, but he was just with her.

"I was here," he said, I hadn't even heard him come into the bedroom. "I was here, in Forks, trying to find you. I came to this house and Jacob told me that you had gone back to Toronto to find me. We had just missed each other, Bella."

Oddly, I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. Carlisle had come here to find me, while I had gone to Toronto to find him. And then another thought hit me. Jacob hadn't told me.

Jacob. Hadn't. Told. Me.

I rolled onto my other side and looked up into Carlisle's eyes. "You really came here?"

He nodded and sat on the bed beside me. "I couldn't take being away from you anymore."

"I'm so sorry for leaving…I should've stayed," I said.

"Don't apologize, Bella," he said. "I caused this, not you. I'm so sorry for what I did, I'll never hurt you again." He cupped my face in his hand, and I felt the tears pool in my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but they slipped out anyway.

"Hey, don't cry," he said softly, brushing a tear away from my cheek. "We're both here now."

"I'm just so sorry for everything that's happened," I said. "Like you said, I haven't been completely innocent in this relationship; I shouldn't have left like that. I was just so…so angry. I wasn't thinking straight. Carlisle, I'm so sorry."

He caressed my face. "You don't need to apologize, love, I understand why you left. I really do. Do you want to go home now?"

"Well, I was thinking…" I said. "Maybe we could stay at your old house for a few days? I've flown far too much in the past couple days, and I'd like to spend a bit of time with Alice as well…since she didn't even know I was here."

He smiled. "That's perfectly fine with me, Bella."

"Could you wait up here?" I asked. "I need to go speak with Jacob."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asked uncertainly.

I nodded. "Oh, I'm sure."

I went downstairs into the living room to find Jacob, and leaned in the doorway, crossing my arms tightly across my chest. He sprung up off the couch.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"No, I'm not okay," I said.

"What did he do?" Jacob growled.

"He didn't do anything," I said. "It's what you did." I saw the fear flash very quickly across his face. "Why didn't you tell me that Carlisle came here, Jacob? Why? Were you really that desperate to get me to be with you? Really? I know that I was ready to just give up on Carlisle, I was ready to spend my life with you; I actually was. I thought that Carlisle had moved on completely from me, but then I find out that he came here to get me back. Why wouldn't you tell me?"

Jacob hesitated before answering me. "I…I hoped that you would see some sense and come back to me."

Anger boiled through my blood. "How dare you, Jacob Black? How dare you disrespect me like that? You knew that if I had known that he had come here it would have made me so much happier, and I could actually live again. How selfish could you really be? I cannot believe that you would do this to me." I turned to leave, but paused. "You know how much I care about you. You know how close I am to you. I cannot believe that you would do this to me, Jake. I thought I could trust you. I guess I was wrong. I'm leaving."

"Bella, I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"Don't try to apologize, Jacob," I said angrily, turning back to face him. "There is absolutely no reason for you to have done this to me. How…how could you? I thought you were my friend."

"Do you have any idea how hard I tried to get over you?" he demanded. "Do you have any idea what I did to get over you? I dated Leah for God's sake! Leah who's like a fucking sister to me. But you know what? I couldn't get over you. No matter what I did, no matter who I dated, I tossed them aside because I couldn't stop thinking about you. When you came back here today, I thought I finally had a chance with you. I thought I could finally be happy."

"Maybe if you hadn't lied to me like you had then maybe you could be happy," I snapped.

"No I wouldn't have been! You would have ran right back to him. Don't try to tell me any different," he said.

"Well maybe if you had told me the truth, we wouldn't end up like this," I snapped. "Goodbye, Jacob."

I left the living room and went upstairs back to Carlisle, and he helped me carry my things downstairs. We stood outside together in the pouring rain while Carlisle called a cab and we waited for it to come. When he was off the phone he held me close to him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine, just angry."

"Hey," he said softly, tilting my head up to his and kissing me. Oh my god, it had been way too long since we had kissed. The rain pelted our faces, but neither of us cared or worried about it. Our mouths moved together and our tongues danced with one another's.

You know how ever girl's dream is to kiss in the rain? I can see why now. It was so romantic…it was perfect between us.

The cab pulled into the driveway and we broke apart. Carlisle and I put my things into the cab, and Carlisle told the driver where to go. We sat together in the back seat, wrapped in each other's arms. It honestly felt so good to be with him again, I didn't even worry about the prospect of possibly seeing Edward at the Cullen house.

We pulled up to the massive house on the river, and took my things out of the trunk. I idly realized that Carlisle didn't have anything with him, but I'm sure he'd be able to buy the necessities here in Forks.

We went to the front door and knocked. It wasn't too late, and Alice quickly opened the door. She looked surprised to see both of us standing there. But after we explained the situation, she opened the door wider, and of course, welcomed us in.

"Alice, if you don't mind, we've both had quite a rough day, we'd really like to go to bed," Carlisle said.

"Of course," Alice said. "I'm sure you know where it is."

Carlisle led me upstairs to his bedroom, but as we were walking down the hall, Edward came out of his bedroom, head down, looking at his phone. I tensed, waiting for a reaction.

"Hello, Edward," Carlisle said. I could feel how tense he was.

Edward's head snapped up and he looked between us.

"Hello," he said shortly, then walked away.

Carlisle sighed. I could tell that he didn't like that. I didn't blame Carlisle. I don't know what I'd do if my own child spoke to me that way.

"It's okay," I said. "I'm sure in time it'll get better between the two of you. He was probably just surprised to see us here."

He looked down at me. "It's just hard to see that."

I nodded. "I can imagine it would be."

We went into Carlisle's bedroom and I collapsed onto the bed.

"I wish I had extra clothes for you or something," I said.

He waved off what I said. "Don't worry, Bella."

I looked down at myself and realized I was still in my pyjamas. I hadn't even gotten changed at all today. Oddly, this didn't bother me. Carlisle slid into bed beside me and wrapped me in his arms.

"God, I've missed you," he whispered into my hair.

"I can tell that you haven't slept," I noted, then ran my fingers along the stubble lining his chin. "And you haven't been taking much care of yourself."

A small smile spread across his face. "Shaving has not been the top of my priorities this past week."

"What have been your priorities?" I asked.

"Getting you back…and finding a job," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"I quit my job," he said simply.

"You…you quit your job?" I asked.

"It went hand-in-hand with getting you back," he said.

Guilt swelled in my chest. "Carlisle, you didn't need to do that."

He looked at me seriously. "Yes, I did."

"Did you…did you find another job?" I asked.

He nodded. "I don't start for another two weeks, and it isn't quite as good as the one I had before, but it still pays much better than anything I had here."

"You gave up a job you absolutely loved...for me?" I asked.

"I love you more than any job I could have," he said.

I felt tears pool in my eyes again, but blinked them away. "Thank you, Carlisle, thank you so much."

He pressed his lips against mine. "You don't need to thank me, Bella."

I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. It felt so natural to do this. it felt right to be here, in Carlisle's arms.

"I missed this," I whispered.

I felt his arms tighten ever so slightly. "So did I."

And with that, I fell asleep, wrapped tightly in the man's arms who I truly loved more than anyone else in the world.