Usual disclaimer applies

March, 2012

~35~

I exit the bathroom, looking around to all of the students that crowd the main hallway. They are mostly East-Enders who feel a misplaced sense of ownership in this school. Like it is their's, like it is made for them. Everyone else, the students who don't fit into their narrow margin of what is acceptable, typical go outside during breaks, even if it is raining.

Here in Forks, we are all resigned to being wet most of the time.

I catch a glimpse of Edward and Jasper walking through the center of the hallway, others moving out of their way as the pair strides purposefully towards their destination. Both of them have grown so much over the last year, matured. Edward now sports a bit of scruff on his jaw and chin, and Jasper has definitely bulked up.

But when I see them, heading unknowingly towards me, I turn and enter the bathroom again, quickly closing the door behind me. The last thing I want to do is to see Jasper, to talk to him. I know what will happen when I do, and I don't want that to happen in public, in front of prying eyes.

I haven't worked out what Mike had said at all. Okay, Jasper had the GHB. The roofies. The drugs that somehow made their way into my system. Fuck, what the hell was Jasper doing with drugs? Why would he want them, when according to him, he was so broken-hearted over Alice? Did he just want to fuck her out of his system, and thought a girl who couldn't say no would be best?

What if it was him? What if he…

And now, just as the walls that I have surrounding myself with where Jasper is concerned have begun to crumble, have begun to erode into nothingness, I can feel them being built again, only taller and stronger now.

It hurts to think that the friendship I have begun to forge with Jasper over the past week is gone. It makes me wonder what the point of forgiveness is, what the point of letting someone in is, when they are simply going to hurt you again and again.

I wait a good five minutes before exiting the bathroom again, and luckily Edward and Jasper are no longer in sight.

~SW~

I am in my bedroom, sprawled out on the bed listening to music in my bathrobe. Metric blares in my ears, singing about how if she trembles, they will eat her alive. If she stumbles, they will eat her alive.

I know where she is coming from.

My phone vibrates, again, and I silence it once more. Jasper has now phoned seven times, undoubtedly wondering where I am, since I was supposed to meet him at his house, and where I was in history class, which I skipped again.

There is a knock at my door.

"Honey, sorry but I just got called out. You'll be okay?"

I sit up and look at him. He's fixing his uniform, buttoning up the shirt as swiftly as he can.

"Sure Dad, go stop some crime." I smile and Dad returns it.

I go back to listening, to contemplating, to relaxing. But as my thoughts turn to the events of today, of the last two weeks, a sob suddenly tears up my throat. I can't get enough air in my lungs to calm my wracking cries, and I turn to towards my pillow to muffle the sounds. Even though I am home alone with no one to hear me, I don't want to hear the sounds of my weakness.

~SW~

I don't know for how long I cry, but I know I must look a mess. Just as I am getting up out of my bed of self-pity to clean myself up, I hear the doorbell ring. I wipe my eyes as best I can with the back of my hands, tighten the robe around me, and try to calm my beating heart.

Crying takes a lot out of a girl.

Making my way downstairs and to the front door, I unlock the deadbolt and open the door slightly, peeking my head around the small crack I have made.

Jasper Hale stands there, eyes blazing down to mine, hands stuffed in his pockets.

Wonderful.