June, 1990

Lindsay stared at Tobias across the table with wide eyes, astonished that he could inadvertently make eating a breadstick look that sexual. Tracey had had her baby two days earlier and Lindsay and Tobias were visiting her and Michael in Berkeley. Tonight Tobias had surprised Lindsay by taking her out on a date in San Francisco. She appreciated the gesture, which was unusual for him, but she was starting to wish they'd just stayed in the hotel. She still had no idea what to make of Tobias's embarrassing habit of saying and doing things in a decidedly homoerotic way. When they'd first started dating she'd thought it was some kind of weird joke, but it had quickly become clear that it was entirely unintentional.

"Hey, maybe don't eat that breadstick like that," she said, unable to take it anymore.

"Like what?"

"Like, you kind of lick it before you take a bite."

"Oh," he said, and proceeded to eat it in a different but somehow even more suggestive way.

"How about you just stop eating the breadsticks for now?" she said quickly.

"Um, okay," he laughed confusedly, putting the breadstick down.

"This is a nice place," she said in an effort to change the subject. "Can't wait for the food to arrive."

"Me, too."

"It was nice of you to take me out tonight," she said, smiling at him.

"Of course," he said, smiling back.

Lindsay looked down and twisted the edge of the tablecloth in her fingers, trying to decide if it was the right time to bring it up. Earlier that day she had decided that she was ready to have a baby. She knew it was a little soon, but the more she thought about it the more she wanted it. Seeing how happy Michael and Tracey were over the last few days had made her want that for herself. Things had been improving with Tobias. When they'd gotten back from the disastrous honeymoon she'd convinced him to see a therapist. He was right that there didn't seem to be any therapists in the United States that treated never-nudism specifically, but they had found one that specialized in phobias and it seemed to be helping a little. They'd had sex three times now. It hadn't exactly been satisfying—he pretty much just lay there, and the first two times he'd ended up crying. But she was optimistic that it would get better with time, and she appreciated that he was at least trying. She still felt a little like she'd been lied to, but she knew it was only because he'd been too embarrassed to tell her about his condition, and besides, sex wasn't everything. Less than a year ago she'd been so excited about their relationship. She wanted to get that feeling back, and she was hoping a baby would help.

"So," she said slowly, still not looking up from the tablecloth. "I've been thinking that I want to start trying for a baby." She looked cautiously up at him. The surprise was plain on his face.

"A baby?" he said.

"Yes," she said tentatively, discouraged by his reaction.

"With me?"

"Yes, with you," she laughed nervously. "What do you think?"

"Um…yes. Yes," he said. He seemed to genuinely mean it.

"Really?" she said excitedly.

"Sure, why not?" he said, smiling.

"Yeah. I mean, I know it's a little soon, but I don't really see any point in waiting."

"Yes, I agree."

"Great," she said, smiling widely. She hesitated, then leaned forward and lowered her voice. "That does mean we're going to have to have sex more often than we are right now."

"Not a problem," he said quickly.

"Really?" she said skeptically.

"Yes, I—I've been making a lot of progress, I think, it's not as bad as it used to be."

Lindsay couldn't help but feel a little stung. Not as bad? It wasn't like he was anything special, far from it. But he was talking about being undressed, not the sex itself, though he didn't seem to be too interested in that either.

"Listen, I…I really appreciate how patient you've been with me," Tobias said uncomfortably. Her annoyance evaporated.

"Of course," she said, smiling at him. "I really do love you. I know we've had kind of a rocky start, but I think things are going to get better."

"Me, too," he said eagerly. "I really love you, too."

She smiled at him and reached across the table and held his hand.