Sorry about the angst in this one guys, I promised you I wouldn't go OTT but this kind of needed to happen. Don't worry, I'm not going all depressed on you, this is all part of my master plan...

Chapter 35

Pink

Naruto was waiting for him a little way into the Forest, holding a roll of posters in one hand. The spray paints were in a large plastic box on the floor, along with a tin of fluorescent pink wall paint that he had found in the graphics rooms. It was not yet sunrise and the only light came from the street lamps that lined the path between the trees; painting the cold morning with a warm orange glow.

Naruto smiled awkwardly as he approached; he had promised himself that he would never do anything to hurt Sasuke, that he would never keep secrets from him, but here he was doing both of those things.

"Hey," Kiba said quietly. Nobody could here them from here, but they were doing something illegal so whispers seemed necessary.

"Yo, could you give me a hand with the spray paint?" Naruto asked, sounding falsely cheerful. It was too late to back down now.

"Sure." Kiba replied, grabbing the box whilst Naruto picked up the tin. "Let's go."

And with that, the two boys headed out of the forest and across the road.

Hidan's alarm went off at five.

It wasn't that he was a mornings kind of person; he hated getting up early; but his busy running schedule meant that he didn't have enough time during the normal day to fit everything in. He didn't want to become a social outcast because he spent too much time training to do normal stuff with his friends.

Although if Deidara was going off with Sasori, he wouldn't have much to lose anyway.

He hit the off button before he woke Kakuzu up.

He got changed as quietly as possible, half feeling as though he was still unconscious. His head pounded with each movement, but although the accumulated lack of sleep was probably not that healthy, he consoled himself that at least after a while he might start to loose weight.

Deidara kept saying that he was getting too thin, but that was probably just Deidara wanting to look better than him. Like he could ever beat the blonde anyway.

But hopeless as it seemed, he felt he had to at least try; running at least four miles per day. Except on Saturdays, which Jashin had declared days of rest and reflection; although he made up for that on Wednesdays like today which were declared days of physical sacrifice and penitence.

Technically everyday was declared a day of physical sacrifice and penitence, but Wednesdays especially so.

It was therefore fitting that Hidan's head should hurt so much that he felt he was about to keel over, and he kept that thought in mind as he crept downstairs and out into the car park.

The first thing he noticed as he stepped outside was the colour.

It wasn't that Hidan had anything against the colour pink, but normally the school's railings were a uniform rusty black. Pein didn't really go for flamboyant decorations.

He blinked…

They were still pink…

Pink railings, pink sprayed trees, pink paint covering the windscreens of the teacher's cars, pink words daubed inexpertly over the tarmac.

The insults were unimaginative and even miss-spelt in some places, but the words coupled with the crudely spray-painted caricatures of various Akatsuki boys either in drag or with each other's dicks in their mouths had a pretty clear meaning.

He blinked again…

And that was when he noticed the posters. He hadn't noticed them at first, but once he had seen the first one he realized that they were everywhere. Taped to the railings, walls, cars, doors, trees; the photos of Deidara and Sasori that Kiba had taken the previous night were repeated everywhere he looked.

Deidara had lied.

He ran over to the gates, ignoring the pink paint that was now decorating his trainers, and looked out into the street, hoping that nobody had yet noticed the state of the school. Although it was only just past five in the morning, forest road was already beginning to fill with cars and the few pedestrians walking by couldn't help being drawn to the bright colour. Luckily they didn't seem to care, and just walked on seeming slightly confused.

Except for the two boys standing on the opposite side of the street, waiting for somebody to appear; one blonde, one brunette, telltale pink paint staining their fingers. Their voices were carried away by the traffic, but Hidan could se that they were laughing.

At him.

Sticking his middle finger up at them, he mouthed at them to fuck of, before turning around again, too late to miss what Kiba mouthed back.

"We win. Faggots"

He walked back to the door, knowing that they were still watching him, talking behind his back. He ripped one of the posters off the wall before punching the code in and stepping inside, instantly loosing the cool act and racing upstairs, no longer worrying about whether he woke the teachers up.

He could get detention for every day of the year as far as he cared; Deidara was going to pay.

Reaching the landing outside Deidara's dorm, Hidan didn't pause before slamming his fist against the door; wincing slightly as his knuckles made contact with the blue painted wood. Still holding the poster in one hand, he grabbed the door knob, rattling it to no avail.

"Deidara get the fuck here! Deidara! ... Jashin damn you… Deidara!"

The door refused to open, so he resorted to banging against it some more. "Deidara you bitch open the fucking door."

"Go away un. We don't want to know."

"Deidara! Let me in."

There was no answer.

"Fuck this; this is all your fault. If you don't let me in now I'm going to smash the door down."

"Like that's going to work, yeah."

"Deidara!" He continued pounding on the door; the blows getting weaker and weaker until his arm began to feel like lead. "Deidara get out here!"

He stopped beating the door as he heard the blonde make his way towards it, before the chair that they used to keep the door locked with was pulled out from beneath the handle and the door opened to reveal a none too pleased Deidara. Sasori watched from his bed on the other side of the room, not wanting to leave the warmth of his covers so early in the morning.

"What do you want?" The blonde's eyes were half closed and his hair was a mess. He wanted to be asleep, not dealing with his emotionally unstable best friend right now.

Hidan held up the poster, still shaking slightly with a combination of adrenalin and anger. "What the fuck is this about?"

It took a few moments for Deidara to register, before he tore the paper from Hidan's hands, scrunching it up as if to hide the evidence, but it was too late for that. "Where did you get that?" He demanded.

"You lied to me." Hidan growled, ignoring the question. "You lied."

"Hidan, calm down." Sasori's half bored voice came from within the room.

"Don't patronize me! Bastard!" Hidan butted in, glaring over Deidara's shoulder before turning back to the blonde in the doorway. "The school is fucking pink, there are Jashin damned Konoha kids outside laughing at us and it's your fault!"

"Since when was the school pink yeah? What do you mean?"

"Since you made them think we're all fucking fags."

"From what Deidara was saying last night, that's a bit hypocritical of you Hidan." Sasori added.

Yeah, Deidara said not to mention it, but Hidan was being such a bastard he felt he had to stick up for the blonde somehow. Deidara had been his reason for living, and to have that reason insulted made him feel slightly off balance, like the feeling you get from stepping off a roundabout. He had promised himself he would make Deidara happy, and he wanted to think that was a worthy enough reason to live for.

Hidan was about to ask what he meant by that, but Deidara cut in before he had to explain why Sasori knew. "How dare you say that un! Do you think that I wanted this to happen? Do you think we would just sit there making out while they took photos if we knew what they were doing? For god's sake, I'm not a slut."

"Your hand was down his pants and you were shagging each other's faces off on first date, and I'm assuming it was first date because otherwise you would have told me. So yes, you're fucking obviously sluts. Oh yeah, that's right, you wouldn't have told me because you're a fucking lying bastard who doesn't know what loyalty even means. Slut."

"No need to be jealous Hidan, just because you can't get any, un." Deidara said.

He knew anything related to Kakuzu was a sore point, something to be avoided in everyday arguments, but this had gone too far. They weren't just teasing anymore; Deidara wanted to hurt the Jashinist as much as possible right now, and the blonde could see from Hidan's clenched fists that the feeling was mutual. It was only the fact that Hidan was trying not to loose his cool in front of Sasori that meant the blonde wasn't getting brutally murdered.

Seemingly his reputation still mattered more than anything else; Deidara had always hated that about the boy.

"Get the hell away from our bedroom, un." Deidara yelled back, Sasori smirking at the word 'our'.

"You should at least have told me! Liar! I thought we were supposed to be friends. We were supposed to share everything!" Hidan hissed back, quiet enough that Sasori couldn't hear. If you wanted to be popular you had to pretend you didn't care about things like this.

"Well I've got Danna now," Deidara replied, his voice cold and final, "Stay out of my private life. It's not your business any more." With that he closed the door in Hidan's face, leaving the Jashinist standing in the hallway, suddenly terrified of what he had done.

"That's it" He called after a few moments of silence. "I'm going! If you're not going to apologize now I'm never speaking to you again!" It wasn't until after he had said it that Hidan realized how childish and futile it sounded.

On the other side of the door, Deidara was sitting on the floor, his knees curled up to his chest as he listened to Hidan's final request. He almost called back, but he kept silent. It was time for them to go their own ways. It was better suddenly than for them to drift apart slowly, at least this way he could remember how they used to be. Real art couldn't last for ever.

He clenched his teeth as he heard Hidan leave; his footsteps fading down the corridor.

It was only then that he noticed Sasori's arms around him, pulling him to his feet and guiding him back to bed. The blonde was shaking; his eyes scrunched closed trying not to cry.

He had promised to make Deidara happy, but so far Sasori had only made things worse.

Kakuzu looked up as Hidan stormed into the room, slamming the door behind him and running straight into the bathroom, deliberately avoiding eye contact. Kakuzu blinked as the door slammed shut, leaving the room silent.

"Hidan? Its still night time. Go back to bed." He said tiredly, not wanting to sound too worried.

"Shut up Kakuzu! This is all your fucking fault!" Hidan shouted; his voice slightly shaky, as he sank to the cold, linoleum covered floor, his back leaning against the door.

Light shone in through the frosted window opposite him. It would have been dark outside, but the front of school, where his dormitory was, had bright lights illuminating the building's architecture and casting a bright glare through it's windows.

"Just get out of there and go to bed Hidan. You'll be tired tomorrow." Kakuzu called, not getting up.

"Like you care."

"Are you okay?"

Hidan didn't answer; he wasn't sure what to say. Kakuzu lay there in the silence, worried he had sounded too worried. He was supposed to want the boy to hurt anyway wasn't he?

"Suit yourself I'm going back to bed. If you want to cry your eyes out in there it's your choice, just be quiet."

Kakuzu had expected at least an insult in return but there was still no answer.

Hidan just sat there, listening. He had left the door unlocked; hoping that Kakuzu might come and find him but there was no sound from within the bedroom except the occasional creaking of bed springs or rustling duvet.

Kankurou awoke feeling stiff and tired. Needless to say, their sleeping arrangements had not been working too well. He had slept so little over the past week that he probably wouldn't have woken up at all if Gaara wasn't repeatedly poking his side.

"Its morning, big brother."

Kankurou grunted in reply. Rolling over and in turn shaking Temari awake.

"Huh?"

"Gaara says its morning." Kankurou grunted, closing his eyes again.

Temari sprang to life immediately, standing up and shoving Kankurou off the mattress and onto the floor, before lifting their makeshift bed and propping it against the cleanest available wall. They had decided early on that leaving things in contact with the floor would probably not be a good plan.

Kankurou stood up, glaring at his older sister. Their morning routine always ended up like this and that floor was just not hygienic. If he got ill and died he was definitely going to blame her.

She smiled innocently back. "So what are you doing at school today? You're both coping fine I hope?"

"I'll live." Kankurou replied, Gaara just nodded.

"Met any fit guys?" That remark was aimed at Kankurou.

"Kind of… Just one…" he replied quietly, trying not to make a big deal out of things. His sibling were fine with him being gay, after all Temari was bisexual herself and Gaara was opposed to prejudices of any kind just because he was a good person. Not always a nice person, but a good person all the same.

But that didn't mean Temari couldn't make fun of him for anything slightly romantic in his life. Yes she would support him, but teasing was all part of the deal; she was his sister after all.

"Awwwww! How sweet! Do you like him?" she gushed, smirking slightly at Kankurou's uncomfortable expression. "Do you? Do you l-o-v-e him?"

"What did I hear about you and that kid Shikamaru?"

"Stop subject changing." she laughed.

"You stop subject changing!"

"Brother, Sister, will you please shut up and get changed? We will be late for school." Gaara butted in, already dressed and ready. Kankurou turned on him.

"Gaara! Who do you like?"

"Nobody."

"Yeah you do!" Kankurou insisted. "No need to be shy with us little bro." He reached out to ruffle the younger brother's hair, but Gaara stepped aside, smirking.

"Kankurou, you do realize that your hair is sticking up at the back."

"Oh Sh-", he began before remembering he wasn't supposed to swear unnecessarily in front of Gaara while his sister was around. "Not again…" He spun round and ran out into the corridor and across to the communal bathroom.

"So…" Temari began after a few moments silence. "If there's somebody you like you can tell me anything…"

"God… not you too…" Gaara replied. "We've only been at this school for a couple of days and you're already interrogating me."

Kankurou returned a couple of moments later, smelling of toilets.

"I think I'm going to have to live with messy hair today. One of the toilets is blocked and the bathroom is kind of flooded… That and the tap water has gone a weird brown colour. Man this place stinks"

"You stink." Temari said.

"Your face stinks."

"We're going to be late for school!"

Xxxxxxxxxx

Hidan was still curled up against the bathroom door as the sun began to rise. Shivering with cold, his face buried in his arms, trying not to think. He had been waiting for half an hour and he realized now Kakuzu wasn't going to come.

Nobody was coming.

Not that he blamed him; after all he was always in the way. He could imagine all too clearly how it would feel to have Kakuzu simply open the door and wrap his arms around him. He could hear his voice right now, telling him it was all OK, that he wasn't going to leave him alone like this ever again.

But he knew now that wasn't going to happen. He just got in the way of things. Kakuzu wouldn't come because he would rather sleep than be bothered by his insignificant dorm-mate, who wasn't attractive or interesting enough to actually care about. He was always just in the way.

In the way of his ex-best friend because he was too possessive to step aside and let Deidara be happy.

And in the way of Kakuzu because he didn't have time to deal with Hidan's over dramatic arguments all the time, because Kakuzu always had to come stitch him up afterwards.

So it wasn't surprising that nobody cared any more.

"Fuck…" he whispered "Shit…Fucking shit…Crap… What do I do now?"

Clasping his pendant, he pressed the cool metal against his forehead, trying to clear his thoughts.

"Jashin… what must I do?" he whispered, knowing he wouldn't get a direct answer. He would have to think, but already he felt his mind becoming clearer, calmer.

Jashin taught that persecution enlightened the soul, but this didn't really count as persecution seen as he was the one that was getting in the way of others. He wasn't persecuted, just unwanted.

And his soul wasn't feeling particularly enlightened.

Suffering was the path to holiness, he knew that, but he wasn't suffering enough either. Yes, he felt like he wanted to die, but that was because he was pathetic and childish, not because he was suffering.

And there was the answer Jashin had given him; he could feel it.

He needed to suffer more.

He let go of the pendant, letting it fall to his chest once more. Shakily he stood, using the side of the bath for support. What he was going to do was controversial, but he remembered his parents had done it when they were alive, and they had been proud. Proud to be followers of Jashin; proud that they were prepared to suffer for their god's pleasure; proud that Jashin needed them.

And right now, Hidan needed to feel needed.

Standing in front of the sink, Hidan took Kakuzu's razor from the shelf in front of him.

It was a cheap disposable thing, made from orange plastic with a cover to prevent anybody from cutting themselves accidentally. Hidan removed it hastily, eager to please Jashin as quickly as possible. His fingers were still trembling from cold as he held the blade above his bare arm; a little way up so that he could cover any damage with his shirt sleeve.

Carefully, deliberately, he pressed the razor into his arm and dragged it across the skin, waiting for a few moments to see the blood begin to collect in the shallow cut. Hesitantly he brought his arm to his mouth, licking the trail of blood clean before putting the razor to his skin again and drawing it across, trying to cut deeper.

He cut again and again, as hard as he could, clenching his teeth and concentrating on the burning sensation. The blood was beginning to run down his arm. He could feel nothing else, but the need to keep going.

He didn't notice the tears until they began to drip onto the wound, splashing into the blood which trickled down his arm. The hunger for pain was scaring him slightly, this didn't feel normal.

As he heard the alarm clock go off in the bedroom, he realized that he should stop, but he couldn't. Just once more. Just a little bit deeper.

The beeping got louder, faster and then it stopped.

He could hear Kakuzu's voice now, he sounded anxious. He must have seen that Hidan had not returned.

But the Jashinist felt as if he was in a different world as he pressed the blade to his skin again, twisting slightly, trying to find more pain; more blood. He felt like he was on the rooftop again, nothing else mattered.

He heard Kakuzu's footsteps reach the bathroom door, but he couldn't stop himself. He needed this.

He blinked away fresh tears from his eyes, wincing as the salt water mixed with the blood. He gripped the razor tighter as Kakuzu opened the door, Hidan stopped suddenly, keeping his back to the other boy, his head bowed so he couldn't see his tears reflected in the mirror.

"Hidan?"

There was no answer.

Kakuzu rushed over to him, angry at the Jashinist for making him so worried. He grabbed his shoulder roughly and turned Hidan to face him. The boy looked up blankly, tear-stained eyes meeting the masked boy's shocked face.

"Hidan! Give me that!" He yelled, grabbing the razor from Hidan's still shaking fingers, "Stop it!" Hidan still looked up at him blankly. "Stop it! Crazy Jashinist rituals… Why did you do that to your self?" He sat Hidan on the side of the bath before going to the sink, turning the cold tap on full blast and thrusting the blood stained razor under it, ignoring the fact that the water was spraying everywhere. "Why did you have to do that Hidan? Stop it. Don't ever do that again."

There was silence, filled by the gushing of water before Kakuzu turned the tap off, dried the razor and threw it at the bin. It missed, and sat on the floor, the two boys watching it for a few seconds before Kakuzu turned and pulled Hidan to his feet again.

"Get up. Wash your arm. Promise you won't do that again." Hidan turned the water on, ignoring the last demand. "Promise you won't do it again."

Hidan grabbed some toilet roll, drying his arm.

"Hidan!"

"See, Its not that bad, Its just a small cut, Its not dangerous."

"Promise you wont ever do that again!" Kakuzu yelled back, grabbing the first aid box from the cupboard and turning to face Hidan.

"I'm fine Kuzu, Seriously."

"Promise me Hidan." Kakuzu tried to make eye contact but the Jashinist turned away.

"Yeah, yeah, I won't…"

It wasn't sincere but it was as good as he was going to get. Kakuzu bandaged Hidan's arm in silence, unsure of what to say. He finished, and Hidan held the arm to his chest possessively, still unable to meet Kakuzu's eyes.

"Hidan… Are you-" He was cut off as he started to speak.

"Shut up. I'm okay, just stop mentioning it." He said, coldly.

"Why did you…?"

"Just…shit… I'm fine. Seriously."

And with that, the silver haired boy turned and left the bathroom in silence.