Fury's POV

Kyra and Wanda lay resting in bed, like they have been for the last few weeks. A sad smile on their faces as Pietro talks to the baby. I told Kyra I'd get eyes on Barnes. And I have. Found him in DC of all places.

"There's a new Captain America." Delicate isn't really my forte.

"What!" all three heads snap towards me with anger in their eyes. Kyra winches in pain as she tries to rub her stomach.

"Vhat is not funny." Pietro snarls rubbing Kyra's shoulders as she tries sitting up.

"What are you talking about Nick?" a half sob in her voice, be it physical or emotional pain, I don't know. She should like this though.

"Come see." gesturing out of the room. Kyra having a hard time sitting up. Wanda wrapping her arm around Kyra's waist, moving slowly to the command center. Pulling up the footage after clicking 3 buttons, taking not of their reactions. After a heavy silence I spoke up. "He just showed up in DC trying to play crowd control." video of him standing on a car trying to calm down a crowd of thousands in front of the White House. Looking over Kyra's eyes are slightly glassy. "New uniform, but that's Cap's shield. Ten guesses on who it really is." Taking a small step out of Wanda's arms Kyra reaches out absentmindedly.

"Bucky..."

"How?" Wanda's question was accusing. Pietro remained quiet as Kyra leaned into him for support. Footage kept playing from Barnes taking down an AIM stronghold. As well as fighting against Sin and her lackeys just two days ago.

"Not sure yet," a frown etches onto Kyra's face. Brow quirked at the reaction, There's nothing on the footage that should be making her frown. Barnes is moving brilliantly.

"Is that Natasha with him?" her voice is sad and soft. Oh... Turning to the current footage, you can see the red headed assassin in both fights.

"Yeah it is." eyebrow raised at her deflated expression.

"You don't think they've…"

"What?"

"Neit Kyra. He vould not choose Natasha over you." Wanda urges as Kyra's eyes begin to water.

"Kee Kee don't be crazy, that is Barnes' job. Clearly." clicking back to the riot. Clearing away the image of Romanoff and Barnes. "Taking on 1000s of people like that."

"I just… he hasn't even tried to contact Me." her voice is uncharacteristically small.

"He will." trying to cut her doubts off. "He's here, and alive. And moving better than ever."

"Yeah…" her eyes watch Barnes move gracefully on the screen longingly. "Do you have anything else for me Nick?"

"No I just... know you've been worried about him."

"It looks like I shouldn't be." her temperament changing in a flash as she walks from the room.

"Ve'll set things right." Pietro mumbling in her ear as she the three trudge away.

Bucky's POV

Lying in bed was a stupid decision. Am I tired? Of course. Is my brain going to ever let me sleep? Fuck no. My mind is flooded with Kyra. Flooded with doubts. I'm Captain America. I'm the Winter Soldier. I'm nothing without my girl. Reaching over to the nightstand where the engagement ring sits. Running my fingers along the velvet covering. Flipping it open. Staring down the biggest show of trust Stark could ever give me. He's trusting me with Kyra. But is that a good idea? He doesn't know. And I didn't tell him. Wedding rings are for normal people. We aren't normal.

Can I even give her the life she wants? How am I supposed to do that?

A tear escapes before I slam the box shut.

She accepts us for all that we are and all that we are not.

Even the Soldier in the back of my head is questioning me. If that isn't the biggest kick in the ass I don't know what is.

She loves me for all that I am and all that I'm not.

But she shouldn't. How will it ever be enough for her?

It's her choice.

She could say no. She should say no. Shaking my head at the thought. A voice sounding deeper in my subconscious.

"It's her choice." I can hear Steve. Knowing exactly what he'd say. "She's had enough of those taken away from her." Opening my eyes, desperate for his comforting gaze. Desperate for my best friend. But he's not there. Shaking back and forth. Feeling too many things at once. Jumping up I start swinging on the bags again. I can control this. I need some control, before I lose it. Shutting it down just enough to function.

Hours pass as I push myself to the extreme. The pain feels good. I can control that. Better than the emotions anyway. The rhythmic click of heeled boots interrupts my break. Glancing at Natasha over my shoulder face blank. Shaking her head she leans against one of the support beams of my new loft.

"She's in the wind." Her face and tone don't give away anything. But I've got a gut feeling she's here to scold me.

"Figured as much." Mumbling into my water bottle before laying back down on the bench getting back to my work out. I trained Kyra. If she doesn't want to be found. She won't be. Natalia is still silent. If she has something to say she'll say it. It's quiet for several minutes before she speaks.

"Do you remember when we were together?" Furrowing my brows I set the barbell in its holder and sit back up. Brow quirked.

"Yeah. It was before Kyra was born. The only good thing about HYDRA before she came along." grabbing another swig of water from my bottle. "Why do you keep bringing this up Natalia?"

"You were the only willing relationship I'd had." laughing bitterly and running her hand through her shortened hair. "It still turned into a mess."

"Don't they all?" getting up and wiping off my sweat before moving to a different position. Rotating my human shoulder. The arm joint Kyra made me is perfect. But I don't want to think about it or her. I've got a mission to focus on.

"You fought like hell to find me. Over and over."

"Yeah. And?" trying to remain dismissive in my mind and out. Trying to push back the memories of when I searched for Natasha. How desperate I'd been to see her again. How that desperation didn't hold a candle to what I felt for Kyra. "You gonna make your point soon?" Natasha's calm facade started to crack.

"Why the hell aren't you out there looking for Kyra?"

"She's in the wind Nat. Where am I supposed to look?" turning away grabbing Steve's shield getting ready to throw it. Aiming around the room, with a swift flick of my wrist launching it away. "She can just as easily find me."

"Nice excuse."

"Fine." Gritting my teeth before getting in Natasha's face. "I don't want to find her. Not yet." Turning away. "Hydra doesn't have her, or they'd have thrown her in the mix already. No one knows where she is, which means she's safe." Catching the shield as it rebounded back towards me. Turning around for another throw, she grabs the edge of the weapon to stop me.

"She's hiding because she thinks you don't want her."

"It's safer that way." Miserable at the thought of how hurt she must be. "The second she realizes I forgave Tony she'll come running back." Voice soft and regretful.

"Yeah," Shoving the shield forward then moving back into my face. "Making her think you hate her is a much better plan." fear in her eyes, more emotion than usual.

"She's still got her hydra triggers." defending my view. Albeit weakly. "For once I know she's safe. It's the only way I can focus while I'm out there." Gesturing to the window with the shield in my hand. "You know damn well she won't listen to me." Chucking it away. "Hey doll, sorry I was an ass. Let's get hitched. By the way stay home while I fix this mess." Rolling away to catch the bouncing metal circle. Before turning back to Natalia. "That will go over really well."

"Just because hydra doesn't have her doesn't mean she's safe." Her voice cold and angry. Turning away not wanting to think about it. "You didn't see her before Bucky." her voice soft and pleading for once. "What she was like when she thought you were dead." Looking down at the ground. Remembering the moment I held her for the first time since we were both free from HYDRA. "Now she thinks you don't want her."

"I'll always want her." my voice darkening along with my eyes as I glare at the redhead.

"Then what the fuck are you doing here?" I don't answer. I can't, because I don't have one really. She doesn't understand.

"It's better this way."

"Bullshit!"

"You don't understand."

"No you don't understand! She tried to kill herself before Barnes." raw emotion seeping into her voice. Snapping my eyes up to her shaking frame. "Only ever wanted to be with you. No matter what. Now her family's turned against her and you've left her." swallowing hard honestly scared. "How long do you really think she's going to fight? Huh?" The weight of her words hang in the air. Breaking me down. Scoffing she leaves, kicking one of the bench presses on her way out. The tension in the room doesn't lift. Bending down and reaching for the ring in the pocket of my coat, flipping it open. Tracing the design with my human hand. The way Stark said she always used to. Closing my eyes I can almost see her smiling face. It doesn't drown out the voices that instantly infect the silence. Putting my head in my hands rocking back and forth. Steve's voice still echoing in my head.

"You think you miss her, think how she feels you selfish jerk."

"God Steve I don't want to think about her."

"I'm not shutting up until you get your head out of your ass Jerk."

"She deserves so much better Stevie." breathing out to the darkness.

"She deserves someone who loves and respects her enough to allow her the choice."

"I love her more than life itself. She's it. She's my only. No one else could hope to compare. She's my heart."

"If you love her so much then you should be willing to do anything for her."

"I am!"

"Then go find her and apologize jerk. Even if she turns you away, she deserves an apology. She deserves to know how much you love her. She needs to hear that."

"When'd you get good with girls punk?"

"I'm not, you're just being an idiot." Laughing sadly, looking up; expecting to see his blue eyes staring into mine with that mother hen expression he perfected. But he's not there. I'm alone, talking to myself. "I'm still with you jerk. Now man up and get your girl." Choking down a sob, nodding furiously. Trying to force the pain down. I need my girl. I need to see her. I need her in my arms.

Fuck it.

Grabbing the flip phone Stark gave me, trying to punch in the number without hitting every key at once. Ringing once, twice before the line clicks. No one speaks, but I can hear a man breathing.

"Fury? Where's my girl?" Trying to sound strong and demanding. Trying to avoid crying like a baby to Nick Fucking Fury. He's her Godfather. That's license to hate me out of principal.

"What do you mean?" His voice is even and calm. Dismissive even.

"Don't bullshit me Nick. I know she's with you."

"And why would you think that?"

"There's no one else for her to go to."

"And why is that Barnes?" His voice turning into a snarl and that's how I know.

"I know she's there or she's talked to you." Gripping the phone tighter. "You wouldn't be this much of a condescending asshole if you didn't know about our fight."

"I wouldn't call it a fight as much as absolute abandonment."

"I thought she'd still be there." scoffing Fury almost laughs

"Even you aren't that stupid."

"What the hell do you want from me Fury?!"

"Nothing. Nice chatting with you."

"No!" Fuck being strong. Fuck this. Fuck everything. "Please, just tell me you've at least heard from her. Is she safe?"

"Yes. She's safe." Shoulders dropping in relief. Gaping like a fish, trying to find the words to say. Anything convincing.

"Can, can you ask her to call me?"

"Why should I?" His reply is quick and sharp. Stabbing my broken heart even further with a knife I made. I handed to everyone. A wound I dug into myself.

"Because I'm a fucking idiot and it's kind of hard for me to beg for forgiveness if she can't hear me."

"What makes you think she still wants to?" His voice doesn't hint at anything. It's controlled. The voice of a spy. I wish I could be that controlled right now.

"Nothing..." And that's the damn truth. "But I won't know unless I try. I... Fuck." putting my head in my hands. Trying to put it into words. "I just need to apologize. She deserves that. She deserves a million things. I just… fuck…" running my hand down my face. "Fury... Please…." the line is dead for way too long. Almost a full two minutes of nothing but silence. Wind rustles on the other end and all I can do it pray. Someone takes a deep breath on the other line.

"What do you want James?"

"Oh god." my knees buckle and I drop to the floor with relief. "Sweetheart," tears springing to my eyes as I cup the phone closer. "Doll you have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice." she is silent for several seconds, but she's still there. I can hear her breathing.

"Y-you didn't want to hear anything I had to say before." I can feel the pain in her voice. Hear the tears she's trying to fight back. It breaks me all over again. "W-why should I believe that's changed?" her tone hard and hurt. And I deserve that. I deserve the biggest ass kicking in the world.

"You shouldn't." my voice desperate and withdrawn. "I'm…. I'm a fucking ass. A piece of shit and we both know that." My anger starting to build. Self-loathing piling on top of the agony I've caused her. "I deserve a fucking plaque or medal or some shit. 'World's biggest asshole.'" Running my metal hand through my hair. Tugging desperate to say something. Anything. But now that I can hear her all my sense goes out the window. Typical. "I've never once said I deserve you." voice breaking, "Not once in my entire life have I ever entertained that stupid notion."

"Bucky." her voice is so soft and full of pain.

"It's true! I don't, I. I fucking left you. Alone." choking on my words.

"I know. I was there." her voice soft.

"Who the fuck does that to the one they love?" yelling at myself and her.

"You apparently." huffing on the other line. I can almost see her annoyed face. "Look James. What do you want?"

"Forgiveness." I've never felt this pathetic. I'm every bit the heartless monster HYDRA built me to be. "Sweetheart Winter settled in hard, and even that twisted bastard misses you." laughing in disbelief "I was wrong, to leave you. To blame your brother. All of it. And I'm not going to lie to you and say shit like 'I'll never do it again.' because I don't trust myself with that. I don't trust myself with your heart. But I just... I need to know if you still do."

"I don't know James."

"I'll do anything, and if you don't want me fine... Just… just let me see you one more time… please...." she's silent for eons.

"Catch me if you can, Barnes." the line died seconds later. Raising my head from my hands smiling to myself at the smirk in her voice. You got it sweetheart. I'll see you soon.

Kyra's POV

"I told you he missed you." Nick's voice extremely smug as he smirked down at me.

"You told me you didn't have his contact information." my voice deadly as I glared up at him through my lashes.

"I didn't." he sasses back indignantly. Unaffected by my glare. "He called me." Taking the phone out of my hand, Nick began pressing multiple buttons before handing it back. "Now you do." Looking down there was one number saved in the contacts. BB. BB. My Bucky. Grant had been tap dancing through the whole conversation. Voicing his thoughts on the matter, not that I understand them. I want to be mad at him. I want to be so mad. And I am, but it's more than that. I want to leave him out in the cold. Let him worry. Let him panic. Let him know how I feel. Let him feel my pain. . Our pain. I don't need that kind of stupidity. Our son doesn't need that kind of a man in his life. But that's the thing. He's our son. And I know how much Steve means to Bucky. He means so much to me it's suffocating thinking of a world without him in it. It's heart breaking. Bucky and Sam are the only other two people in the world who truly understand my pain. Placing a hand on my stomach trying to calm Grant's interpretive dance number. A gentle hand reached around my shoulders. Rubbing small circles reassuringly. Wanda's brown eyes shone with concern.

"He's just a little over stimulated. Certainly Bucky's child though. Kid is a dancing fool."

"Vat is it Steve vould say. Ee jitterbug? Vhat vas a dance no?" Pietro looks around between the three of us. A small sad smile forms on my face.

"He jives like a jitterbug. Yeah Steve used to say that about Buck all the time when telling stories about him." A sad but content smile forming on my lips at the happy memories. Clinging to a moment where I'm not drowning in bitter loss. Wanda kneels down before me till she is level with my stomach.

"Ou calm yourself Джиттербаг. Momma must rest."

"Jitterbug huh?"

"Da, es cute nickname, no?" Wanda's smiling face met mine.

"It is." smiling between the twins. Suddenly overly tired.

"Enough excitement. Come. Rest." Following Pietro's command, Wanda wraps her arm around my back and leads me back to our room, followed closely by Pietro. Grant's dancing feet calm down as well. Soon I'm resting in bed, covered with warm blankets and surrounded by two of the people I love. Thinking back to the person I love the most. Buck sounded so desperate on the phone. Like how he'd beg HYDRA to stop hurting me. I wanted to give in and tell him right where we were. Tell him I'll forgive him no matter what. But I couldn't give in so easily. We both deserve better than this. And Bucky needs to be better. But he can be. Easily. Humming to myself enjoying this rare surge of confidence. Your dad is an idiot sometimes Grant, forgetting how wonderful he is. We'll get him straightened around.

So I forgot I had this part mostly written. I was blessed with inspiration today. So enjoy this chapter! The next one is not planned. Not outlined. Not started. At all. So it's going to be a little bit.

As always let me know what you think!

Until next time.