Chapter 36

5 Months Later…

Costia rode through the city gates, nodding at the guard members at the entrance. She hardly even made it through the arc when she saw that Lexa, accompanied by Gustus and a few more guards, were waiting for her.

She smiled as she got off the horse and received a dazzling smile in return.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think that you've missed me," Costia teased.

"I always miss you when you are not by my side and you know that," Lexa replied happily and laced her fingers with Costia's.

The whole city knew that they were promised to each other. Once people started getting glances of their promising tattoos it was impossible to hide that truth. But as the Commander and the Fosgona they still couldn't exhibit too much affection in public, so Lexa compromised by bringing Costia's hand to her lips and kissing it softly.

"I missed you, too," Costia sighed in content.

Ever since Nardo died Lexa urged Costia to resume her visits to Ton DC. They weren't as long or as often as they used to be before Costia became a novitiate, but still, once a month she would go for a night or two.

They didn't want to do their binding ceremony too soon after Nardo's death, either. They wanted Dara and Aden to get their footing again, to say their goodbyes at Ton DC, and have them move to Polis as Nardo originally intended. It was more important than ever, for all of them, to be in close proximity to each other. Once everyone was settled, then the two could do their ceremony.

"How was home?" Lexa inquired, comfortably putting her elbow through Costia's. That way they could maintain a physical contact and show their affection toward one another, their belonging to one another, without sharing something too intimate with the witnesses.

"It was good. It's getting better," Costia admitted. "Dara even smiled this time. A genuine smile."

"That is good," Lexa agreed happily. "Aden?"

"Throwing himself into training," Costia sighed. "But he was more talkative. He misses you. I can't wait until they are here and I can watch over him."

"We can fit some time in your schedule for you to train with him," Lexa offered thoughtfully. "He's going to be the best in his class someday."

"No, Alex. I'm already spending too much time away from you and you are my first responsibility," Costia objected. Her little brother was more than competent, keeping his father's legacy alive, just like his sister did.

"But you won't be going to Ton DC anymore. I can spare you for a couple of hours a week," Lexa pointed out.

"I thought you said you always miss me when I'm not by your side," Costia smirked and got a toothy grin in return. "I'll teach him after hours," Costia shrugged. "He's seven. He'll be a novitiate soon enough. He can deal with some late evening sessions," she concluded decisively.

"And then you will always be asleep when I get back at the end of the day," Lexa pouted.

"And? What's the problem with that?" Costia questioned innocently and Lexa shoved her playfully with her hip.

"The problem with that is that I won't be getting my after hours activities," she looked at Costia meaningfully. "And I love my after hours activities," she looked down at Costia's lips.

Costia swallowed hard. "Was the way from the gates to the tower always this long?" she asked in high pitch, making Lexa feel smug.

"It does seem awfully long today," Lexa observed casually, as if she wasn't already envisioning her lover's naked body in her mind. It was a great body.

"Heda!" someone called from the crowd. "Fosgona!"

When Lexa and Costia were out and about there was always an audience gathering wherever they went. Everyone wanted to get a glimpse of them. And even though Costia was gone for a very short amount of time, it seemed that the people of Polis were also very excited by her return. Costia was promised to their Commander, they all knew that in a short while she'll be Lexa's houmon. She was beautiful, charismatic, and good at her job. After nearly two years of seeing the Commander and her First Warrior roaming the streets of Polis together, and after months of seeing them do so as a public couple, the people admired them. If the Commander was their queen, Costia was their princess. They were viewed as an unstoppable couple, a notion that very much mirrored the way the two felt themselves.

The fact that Costia always preferred wearing short sleeves didn't help. For her it was about freedom of movement with a weapon, always being ready, but for the people it meant a glance at her tattoo quite often. It seemed that whenever one or both of their tattoos were on display, the public's excitement was even bigger.

"Heda! Fosgona!" someone else called when they reached the market, "when is the ceremony?"

"Is it going to be a public ceremony?"

"I'm surprised Titus didn't join you to welcome me at the gates," Costia pointed out nonchalantly. The comment made Lexa snort.

"Is it true that you already had the ceremony in secret?" they heard from another direction.

"Did we?" Costia joked.

"Maybe," Lexa shrugged. "Maybe the post ceremony celebrations were so intense I made you pass out and forget all of it," she quirked an eyebrow, teasing her lover. When they were young, before they finally spoke about their feelings, this was like a competition. Who would make who feel more flustered. But things were so different now, and Costia didn't mind getting flustered at all.[3]

"I love when you get like this," she whispered in Lexa's ear with a serious expression on her face so their audience would think whatever she said was work related. Lexa shuddered.

"We love you!" someone screamed.

Costia turned from Lexa and looked at the tower with that same serious expression, giving nothing away to their witnesses. "And once we get up there, Heda, we'll see who's going to pass out."

Lexa put on her poker face.

Two can play this game.

"Kostia!" someone called.

"You make a beautiful couple," they heard just as they climbed into the elevator.

"Yes, Fosgona," she agreed challengingly, "we'll see, indeed."

"Do not disturb me unless it's a life or death matter," Lexa ordered Gustus. She knew Costia would be back around midday, so she made sure her schedule was clear and that Gustus would remain on duty so her lover would be free as well.

Gustus nodded at her order but she missed it entirely as she shut the door in his face ridiculously quickly.

"You know that when you do that it's very clear what's about to happen in this room," Costia chuckled.

"I don't care," Lexa stated predatorily and grabbed her lover by the hips, clashing their lips together aggressively.

"I've only been gone for three days, Alex," Costia laughed again between kisses.

"Three days too long," Lexa replied hungrily and smashed Costia's body into the closet. The impact was so strong, Lexa pushed her so hard, that Costia groaned in pain. When she turned around she saw they dented the closet which now had some black blood smeared on it. Costia knew it was from somewhere around her shoulder blade, an area that was now throbbing.

Lexa looked at her in worry, all of a sudden fearing that she crossed a line, hurt her lover.

"Cos…" she started apologetically, but Costia cut her off.

"So, you're in that sort of a mood, then, Commander?" Costia flirted. She was in pain, a lot of pain, but she could deal with that later. Lexa's aggressiveness definitely stirred something deep and almost primal within her.

"Why does it make me lose my mind when you call me that?" Lexa sighed. She wanted to stay worried, she wanted to check the damage to Costia's back, but instead, her body was on fire all over again.

"I don't know," Costia shrugged, "you like control?"

"I don't control you. I never have and god, I never want to," Lexa objected immediately. That sort of dynamic between them always scared Lexa. Making Costia feel like she was anything less than her equal always terrified her.

"Ownership, then," Costia offered, not seeming at the least concerned by all the observations.

"But you own me, too," Lexa pointed out desperately.

"Alex, let's face it. I think you love that you can do whatever you want with me, and I will gladly let you," Costia laid out simply and Lexa shook her head, making Costia elaborate immediately. "But your title has nothing to do with me giving you this power over me. Or maybe," Costia suggested and leaned closer, feeling the goosebumps on her lover's arm, "maybe there's a part of you that likes that I have to do whatever you tell me when we are outside of this room, admit it," Costia whispered in her ear.

Lexa groaned.

"I loved you long before any of this and I'd love you long after this is all over," Lexa objected, referring to her position of power.

"Yes, but until then this is where we are and you like it. Stop feeling like you need to apologize for it, Commander," Costia blew air into Lexa's ear and drove Lexa to the edge of her sanity.

"You are impossible," she blurted and smashed Costia's body into hers, leading them toward the bed, losing both their clothes before they even got to their destination.

She threw Costia on the bed and climbed on top of her. Costia's eyes showed nothing but anticipation, adoration, and love.

"Thank you," Lexa offered quietly, more than ready to take what she was offered, take advantage of the full scope of what Costia was giving her, but needing to say these words beforehand.

"What for?" Costia wondered out loud, scratching Lexa's shoulder with her fingernails. Lexa purred and knew she had to speak now or she'll be completely consumed by what they'd started.

"For trusting me, for never wanting me to apologize for what I am," Lexa explained shyly.

"What you are is my whole damn world," Costia said sincerely, boring holes with her eyes in Lexa's heart.

Lexa smiled gratefully and resumed their after hours – during day time – activities.

They were lying down, facing each other, basking in their post-coital bliss. Lexa was trailing her fingers up and down Costia's spine carefully, avoiding her fresh wound. The touch made Costia both sleepy and aroused at the same time. Her eyes were shut and Lexa wasn't even sure if she was awake until she spoke.

"I wish father was here," she sighed and opened her eyes, "to see the ceremony."

"He would've loved it," Lexa agreed sadly. "He would have loved us."

"He did love us, Alex," Costia smiled in reminisce. "When I went home for the first time after I became a novitiate he said he was sure we'd be binded one day," Costia admitted. She never shared this piece of information with Lexa before.

"He did?" Lexa's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yeah, he was convinced. I think that's why he wasn't as mad I never told him I was a Nightblood. He realized what we had to face," Costia rationalized and Lexa nodded in understanding. "But, face it, Alex, everybody knew before we did."

"If they would've told us it could have saved us so much time," Lexa pouted.

"And be even more tragic then it was," Costia snorted.

"Well, it all worked out fine," Lexa brushed off.

"It did, and it breaks my heart he's not here to see," Costia breathed deeply. Lexa cupped her cheek, rubbing it with her thumb, trying to give Costia some physical comfort. "I know you miss him too, Alex. You can talk about it if you want. I'm more than capable of being there for you," Costia scolded gently. Lexa haven't said much about the subject since Nardo died.

"I miss him, a lot," Lexa admitted. "I miss many things about him, and there are many other things in you that remind me of him, and I feel like he lives on, in you, and for that I'm very grateful, because he was a great man, and you are a great woman," Lexa concluded in a very heartfelt manner and leaned in to kiss Costia's forehead. When she did, Costia grabbed the wrist of the hand that was still cupping her cheek and hummed in content at both Lexa's words and Lexa's lips on her skin.

"A great woman that is mine forever," Lexa noted, mostly to herself, and closed her eyes to absorb the moment. Costia laughed lightly at the cheesiness of it all.

"If the people knew that their fierce leader is so sentimental…" Costia pointed out casually.

"Shut up," Lexa ordered. "No one is going to tell them, or else. So, when are Dara and Aden finally coming?"

"A few more months," Costia sighed. "I don't want to push them. I want them to move when they are truly ready, but…"

"You also want to have a certain ceremony done as soon as possible," Lexa completed cheekily, knowing her lover's heart's desire. It was her own heart's desire, too.

"I'm just tired of waiting," Costia admitted. "We've spent so much of our lives waiting."

"It'll be a lovely ceremony, Cos, but it's almost a technicality," Lexa observed. "We're already promised to each other. As far as I'm concerned it's a done deal."

"So what you're saying," Costia started, cupping her lover's cheek, "is that I'm stuck with you?" she questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, sorry. You are doomed," Lexa shrugged and when she saw the smile on Costia's face she chuckled and leaned in to give her a short, tender kiss.

"Hey, did you see any Ice Nation warriors on your travels?" she inquired suddenly.

Things were tense with the last clan that won't join the coalition and Lexa kept getting troubling reports about wandering warriors that were spotted in other clans' territories.

"I saw two," Costia admitted in agitation. "On the way back from Ton DC."

"And?"

"They went back to Nia with a broken limb, each," Costia admitted with a sigh.

Lexa seemed like she was considering something.

"Are you mad that I didn't kill them?" Costia asked, worry very evident on her face. She hated thinking she let her lover down.

"No, Costia, of course not," Lexa soothed and leaned in to kiss Costia's forehead. "And besides, someone had to deliver the message back to Nia," she rolled her eyes. "I'm just not happy with where this is headed."

"She's testing you," Costia pointed out.

"She is," Lexa agreed with a heavy heart.

"What are you going to do?" Costia inquired in genuine curiosity.

"What do you think I'm going to do?" Lexa challenged. She liked to play this game sometimes, see if Costia could tap into what was going on in her head. It never failed. Costia never failed.

"Surround Azgeda with an army force made by warriors from all the coalition's clans," Costia provided, calculating in her mind the best move, "not to start a war, just to show Nia that she really is better with us rather than against us, motivate her to enter peace talks, real peace talks," Costia continued, "show her what happens when there's a coalition, show her she could benefit with the only thing she actually cares about, power. She'll be stronger as a voice in the coalition, and more than that, she'll be very vulnerable if she keeps going against it," Costia concluded.

Lexa smiled widely. She moved a lock of hair from Costia's face to behind her ear.

"I love it when you talk strategy," she admitted flirtatiously. "I love it when you talk my strategy."

Notes:

1. "I always miss you when you are not by my side" - it's one of those things they keep saying to one another on appropriate occasions. See chapter 28.

2. "I can't wait until they are here and I can watch over him." This obviously ended up becoming Lexa's job even if subconsciously.