AN: Written for the Convince Me Competition!

Greek Mythology Category Competition – Coeus, The Emotion Challenge – Apologetic

Famous Witches and Wizards Challenge: 3,076 words

I Can't Love You (Remus/Narcissa)

Remus woke up, squeezing his eyes shut against the bright light streaming through the windows. He knew he was in the hospital wing; he always ended up in the hospital wing after a transformation.

Not bothering to try and sit up—he knew from experience that it was incredibly painful—Remus listened carefully for any sign of Madame Pomfrey.

"Madame Pomfrey?"

Remus didn't recognise the voice. It was clearly female, though.

"Yes, Miss Black?"

That was Madame Pomfrey—and apparently she was speaking to one of the Black sisters.

Remus knew of them through Sirius and Ted Tonks. Although Sirius didn't speak about his family often—and when he did, he didn't have very nice things to say about them—Ted spoke to James quite often and seemed to have an interest in Andromeda. She was the middle sister, as far as his knowledge extended.

The oldest out of them, Bellatrix, had a notorious reputation around school. She had left Hogwarts a couple of years ago. You would have thought that she was someone out of a storybook the way some people spoke about her.

"I was wondering if you had considered my application for volunteering here?" asked Miss Black.

Volunteering… that meant she was a sixth year. Andromeda, the sister that Ted liked, was in her seventh year so this had to be Narcissa.

Remus was momentarily proud of figuring that out, but the pain in his head quickly made itself known and he bit his tongue to stop a groan escaping him. He didn't want to interrupt Madame Pomfrey's conversation.

"I have considered it, and I was wondering why you weren't applying to St Mungo's. It's a brilliant place to get some hands on experience," said Madame Pomfrey.

"I—my father doesn't think it's appropriate for me to go into St Mungo's where I may encounter people we know," said Narcissa.

Remus frowned. He knew that the Blacks were purebloods but the reasoning behind not allowing their daughter to go and get some work experience was ridiculous. He could see why Sirius didn't want to associate himself with that sort of lifestyle.

"Did you not try to convince your father?" asked Madame Pomfrey.

"Well… no, I didn't. I didn't want to risk not doing it at all."

"Ah, I understand. Your father wrote to the headmaster and I was called up to help with the response. I can see why you wouldn't want to risk it."

Narcissa laughed. To Remus it sounded quite strained. "He is of the belief that since I am to be married shortly after leaving school, gaining any experience of the working world would be useless."

Remus would have laughed if he hadn't felt so bad for the girl. What an archaic way of thinking!

"Well, since that is the case, I will gladly accept your help in here. Your grades are quite promising if you wanted to head towards a career in healing."

"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey," said Narcissa. "Am I to start today or tomorrow like the rest of the students?"

"I don't see the harm in you starting a day early. Your lessons for the day are over and Miss McKinnon needs her arm attending to after a Quidditch injury."

Remus was surprised at the way Madame Pomfrey seemed to so easily trust Narcissa with the healing. He wouldn't have trusted a student with a Quidditch injury straight away. He was spared from wondering what would become of Marlene's arm when Madame Pomfrey popped her head around the curtain surrounding his bed.

"I've got your final dose of Sleeping Draught, Mr Lupin," she said with a smile, handing over a vial.

"Thank you," he said, before drinking it all at once. He knew from experience that the taste wasn't pleasant.

Madame Pomfrey's smiling face was the last thing he saw before drifting off to sleep.

When he next awoke, he found himself with a pounding headache, again. The past few full moons had been particularly rough, and as a result, his recovery time had lengthened as well.

He tried to call out Madame Pomfrey's name but ended up letting out a strangled sounding groan. Immediately, he heard a pair of rushing footsteps.

Remus was surprised when he saw who had entered his curtained off 'room'. He had been expecting Madame Pomfrey, but instead Narcissa Malfoy was stood before him, looking concerned.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Remus' eyes widened and he could feel his cheeks reddening. It was terribly embarrassing to be seen like this. For some reason, he hadn't realised just how pretty Narcissa was.

Even though she was wearing an apron like Madame Pomfrey's and had her hair tied back quite messily, Remus couldn't help but admire her dainty features, and the wisps of hair that had escaped her bun just looked… pretty.

Attempting to collect himself, Remus said, "I just have a small headache."

Narcissa frowned. "Oh dear, Madame Pomfrey just went to get a batch of pain-relieving potions because we ran out."

"That's fine," said Remus, plastering a smile on his face.

Looking like she was thinking, Narcissa suddenly exclaimed, "I know what could tide you over." And digging through the pockets in her apron, she pulled out a chocolate bar. "Have some chocolate," she said with a smile. "It will make you feel better, Mr…?"

"Lupin," said Remus. "Remus Lupin."

He didn't want to accept the chocolate but Narcissa was glaring at him like she already knew that he was thinking of refusing. For someone he had presumed to be quite meek, she was certainly intimidating.

After he had taken the chocolate, she introduced herself. "I'm Narcissa," she said with a smile. "Can I ask what happened? I mean, why you're in the hospital wing?"

Remus' eyes widened and he was trying to think of a response when he heard Madame Pomfrey's voice calling, "Narcissa? Where are you?"

Narcissa gave him an apologetic smile before leaving him. "I'm here, Madame Pomfrey."

There was a moment of silence and Remus presumed that Madame Pomfrey was trying to figure out what she had been doing near Remus without her permission.

"Could you attend to Mr Potter?" she asked, breaking the quiet. "It's another Quidditch injury."

James was in here? Remus hoped that he hadn't hurt himself too badly. Today was likely to be his last day in the hospital wing once he had taken the potions for his headache.

The day after he had been discharged from the hospital wing, Remus returned with Sirius after lessons to see how James was faring. In Remus' case, he also wanted to see Narcissa again. He hadn't thanked her properly for the chocolate and he was rather embarrassed about it. He must have come across as incredibly greedy.

But when they entered the hospital wing, Narcissa took one look at Sirius and stumbled slightly, clearly shocked. Sirius turned away from her, his mouth set in a thin line.

Remus' eyes widened. Of course, Narcissa and Sirius were cousins…

Sirius' lack of anything positive to say about his family made him wonder for a moment. Was Narcissa actually as nice as she had come across previously?

Thinking about it, Remus realised he was being stupid.

Sirius looked expectantly at Remus and from the corner of his eyes, Remus saw Sirius' eyes widen as he smiled at Narcissa and said, "Thank you—for yesterday."

Narcissa nodded at him with a small smile. "It was no problem at all."

After they left the hospital wing, Sirius stormed down to the Quidditch pitch.

Remus finally managed to catch up to him and asked, "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" exclaimed Sirius. "You just spoke to Narcissa!"

Remus frowned in confusion. "What was wrong with that? All I said was thank you."

Sirius shook his head in disbelief. "What for? She's a part of the family that are always ranting on about blood purity! You should have taken my side."

"There was no side to take," said Remus, hiding a small smile at Sirius' dramatics. "I was only saying thank you because she helped me yesterday when I had a headache."

That stopped Sirius. "She helped you?" he asked.

Remus let out a small chuckle. "Yes, she did."

"But she doesn't even know you," said Sirius.

"She doesn't, but she still helped me," said Remus. "Now, if you don't mind, I need to go to the library. I've already wasted a lot of time that could have spent doing my potions homework."

"Why don't you just do it in the common room?" asked Sirius.

"I'd rather not have to deal with all of the noise," he said with a smile, leaving Sirius to his own thoughts.

Remus was reading his textbook in the library when he heard someone clear their throat. Looking up, he was surprised to see a slightly nervous-looking Narcissa.

Seeing that she had his attention, she asked, "Can I sit here?"

Remus looked around, noticing that a group of older Slytherin students were glaring at him. His table only had room for two; from what he could see, the rest of the library seemed full.

"Of course, you can," he said, picking up two of his books from the table and placing them on the floor to make space.

"Thank you, Remus," she said, taking the seat opposite him.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you not in the hospital wing?"

"Madame Pomfrey gave me the rest of the day off because the hospital wing wasn't busy and I had some homework to do," she answered. "And since I can tell that you're wondering, I'm not sat with my friends because they like to talk when I'm trying to concentrate."

Remus felt his cheeks reddening; why did they always do that at the most inopportune of times?

"Sorry," he said, unsure of whether he should go back to his reading yet.

"Don't be," she said, opening one of her books, signalling that Remus could start reading again.

Ten minutes later, Remus heard Narcissa huff.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking at her scowl.

"Nothing," she said. But clearly there was something bothering her.

Looking down at the book she was reading, he saw that it was a Transfiguration guide. He used it quite often to help with his homework.

"That's a helpful book," he remarked, nodding towards it.

"Is it?" asked Narcissa, and Remus noticed her grip on the book tightening.

"I don't want to sound rude," said Remus, slowly, "but are you struggling with Transfiguration?"

Narcissa sighed, dropping the book onto the table. "Yes."

"I could help… if you wanted?"

Narcissa looked up at him, and Remus felt his breath hitch slightly. "I wouldn't want to bother you—"

"You wouldn't bother me," said Remus with a smile.

Remus quickened his pace as he neared the lake. He had suggested the location because there were plenty of pebbles that they could transfigure. He could see Narcissa's figure with her back turned to him; she was earlier than he was.

Reaching her, he said, "Ready to start?"

She jumped at his voice but quickly relaxed when she realised that it was only him. "Definitely."

So far, they had only been conversing about Transfiguration, so when she asked about Sirius, it came as a surprise.

"How is Sirius?" she asked, carefully avoiding meeting his eyes.

Remus frowned, his mind flashing back to all of the times Sirius had told him about his manipulative family. "He's well," he answered, unsure about what she had wanted as an answer.

Narcissa hesitated for a moment before saying, "Could you tell him that I'm not angry at him for being a Gryffindor? Neither are Andy—Andromeda or Regulus," said Narcissa, sounding embarrassed. "I'm sorry that I'm asking you to play owl but I don't think I'm going to get a chance to let him know. He seems to think that we're all upset about it."

Remus glanced at her. She looked pleading and Remus couldn't help but feel that she was being honest. "I'll tell him," he said and Narcissa let out a breath she must have been holding.

"Thank you so much, Remus," she said, placing a hand on his arm. Her close proximity made his heart skip a beat but all too soon she turned back to the pebble they had been working on for the past few minutes.

Remus frowned; it was best that she stayed away from him.

"You went to see her?" exclaimed Sirius.

Remus squeezed his eyes shut. He had hoped that Sirius would have overlooked that in favour of the knowledge that his family still cared for him.

"I was just helping her with Transfiguration work," said Remus.

"I don't believe it," said Sirius. "It's probably a scheme cooked up by my parents."

"She seemed genuine, Sirius," said Remus, trying to make his best friend see reason.

"You don't know my family."

Remus couldn't help but think that perhaps Sirius wanted to believe the worst of all of them.

As the school year went on, he found himself in the company of Narcissa more and more. They studied together in the library and gave each other recommendations for leisurely reading. Along with that, their Transfiguration lessons were coming along rather nicely.

It was in one of these later lessons that Narcissa managed to transfigure a pebble into a cat. The magic behind it was advanced and Remus grinned at Narcissa's obvious delight with achieving the results she had intended.

"Remus, its tail isn't even grey! It's all ginger… and all cat!" she exclaimed.

"So, it is!" He reached out to… well, he didn't know what he was intending to do but it certainly wasn't to hug her. But Narcissa saw his outstretched arm and immediately wrapped her arms around him.

He stiffened in surprise but quickly returned the gesture, and when they separated he couldn't help but notice her still beaming at him.

"Thank you so much, Remus!"

"It was no trouble," he said with a shy smile.

Remus pulled on his cloak and crept out of the common room. It was getting dark and he had to meet Narcissa for their lesson before curfew.

He felt almost guilty for keeping it a secret from Sirius, but Remus kept his hopes up that Sirius would see past Narcissa's surname and try to speak to her again.

"I'm here, Narcissa," he said when he reached the edge of the lake. It was completely still and Remus had to quell the urge to whisper.

She turned and offered him a warm smile. "You wouldn't guess what happened in Transfiguration today," she said.

"What happened?" he asked, curious.

"I was called up to demonstrate a spell to the class! Professor McGonagall said she'd noticed my improvement and gave me twenty house points as well," she said with a grin.

"That's brilliant!" exclaimed Remus.

"It really is," she said. Then she continued, sounding thoughtful, "You know, Remus? You're a lot different to what I expected."

Remus was surprised for a moment. "What do you mean?"

She looked at him, still smiling, "You're just so… kind. You've been so helpful even when you've had no reason to be, and you're even happy for me getting house points, despite the fact that I'm not in your house."

"I don't think that it's that—"

"I think it's lovely," she said, stepping closer to him. "More people could afford to be like you, Remus." She placed her hand on his arm, just like she had before. But this time, he noticed something he didn't recognise in her gaze. A shadow of doubt flickered across her face and she was about to step back when Remus instinctively grabbed her waist to stop her.

Upon seeing her surprise, Remus let go, entirely embarrassed. "I'm sorry," he said.

Remus himself was surprised when a look of determination came upon her face, and she stepped forward.

He squeezed his eyes shut, fully expecting a slap across the face. So when a pair of soft lips met his cheek, his eyes flew open in shock.

Narcissa looked at him, trying to gauge his reaction. He couldn't find any words… Narcissa had just kissed him on the cheek!

"I'm sorry," she said, looking embarrassed.

"Oh no! Don't be," he said, quickly.

"I just thought that—never mind," she said, shaking her head.

"Narcissa," he said, taking a deep breath and stepping closer to her. "Don't be sorry."

And with that, he took the plunge and let his lips meet hers. It was sweet and gentle, and when they parted both of them had teary eyes.

"Did I—did I do something wrong?" asked Remus.

"Not at all," said Narcissa, letting her head rest against his. "Did I?"

"No."

Then Narcissa laughed. It was mirthful but bitter at the same time; Remus hadn't known that such a sound was possible, but it resonated with him. "Look at us both, crying after that," she said. Her voice turned serious. "You didn't do anything wrong, Remus. It's just—you shouldn't like me."

"It's funny," said Remus, not finding the situation funny at all, "I was thinking the same thing."

"Why shouldn't I like you?" she asked with a small smile that juxtaposed with her tears.

"I can't tell you," he whispered, wiping the tears on her cheeks. "Why shouldn't I?"

"I think you know," she said. Remus' mind flicked back to the day he had first noticed Narcissa Black.

"He is of the belief that since I am to be married shortly after leaving school, gaining any experience of the working world would be useless."

"I'm sorry I can't love you," she said, new tears sliding down her face.

Remus understood. "I'm sorry I can't love you," he said.

And there they stood, by the lake, trying to compose themselves before they went back up to the castle.

Just before they parted in the Entrance Hall, Narcissa turned to him and said, "Thank you."

As she was walking away, Remus called out, "Thank you."

Neither of them knew why, but it felt like the appropriate thing to say. Perhaps they were thanking each other for what they had done for each other, or perhaps they were thanking each other for giving them a feeling they were sure they weren't going to feel again. Either way, both of them knew that they were going to be their parting words—their final words—to each other.