"Gran Mag…"
Summary: Utterly for fun…Sheldon is in deep, deep trouble…From certain povs…When Amy's older sister blows…Into town…For Halloween and their engagement party…
Helps if you look up the wondrous Charlotte Gainsbourg…And one of the better pics of the equally wondrous Maggie Hamilton…
Disclaimer: BBT is all Chuck's…
Part XXXVI…
Henchthugs in retreat, our friends, holding the roof…Amy safe with them…
Glinda and the Blue Fairy, aka Bernadette and Penny, now nervously peering for me…
"Sheldon?"
"He's right here…And going nowhere, ladies!" Charlotte calls…
"So…Holmes? Our final confrontation?" she beams at me. "Certainly the perfect place, eh?" glance over the edge…
Rain now starting to fall lightly, she brushes her hair back… "What a perfect night…I love the rain at night." Beaming smile.
"Charlotte…As your future brother-in-law, I must tell you. Your actions are a bit worrisome…"
Frown… "The future is not yet written, Sheldon…"
Ah, ha…Weakness…Keep hitting at the sore spot, Cooper…
"Sister-in-law…Big…Well, fine…Younger…Brother Sheldon wants you to behave…"
"I can't hear you…La, la, la, LA!" she blocks ears…
"Charlotte? There's only a four inch ledge here…!"
"Oh, can't you just enjoy the moment with me, dearest?" she reaches for my arm. "Oh, Sheldon…I've dreamed of this for so long…"
"You just almost killed my fiancée, your sister…!"
"Pish-pash…I wasn't going to use the hose. I don't want Amy dead, I told you. All I want is you. It's time I got what's mine. She's had everything, all these years…"
"For the Lord's sake Charlotte, what do you mean?! You're a brilliant, successful doctor…Men throw themselves at your feet. And you can afford to live in Paris…"
"Right on the Champs-Elysses…True… But, I don't have you!" she cries.
Well, that is true…I can see her point…
"I hardly think you'll get me this way…" I note.
"Then like Clifton Webb in 'Laura' I'll settle for them finding us together, ten stories down, if I must.."
Hmmn…I peer over…
Not good…
On the other hand…Given her taste in films…Perhaps I could pair her off with my dear friend Stuart…?
Amy would like that…Not her first choice, namely Leonard…But given Penny is her best friend…
"Careful, remember your vertigo, Sheldon!" Charlotte urges as the giddiness rises in me…"Amy? Tell Sheldon to be careful!"
"Sheldon? Don't move, I'll be right down!" Amy's cry…
"NO!..." Charlotte hollers. "You come down and we go down…!"
"Charlotte, give it up…" Leonard, exasperated. Sighing at Penny's…You nearly had sex with this nut job? stare… "The police are here and your guys are…"
Hmmn…
Where are her guys? He looks…The others as well…
Despite more than half having fled the roof…Several still with the copter which is now lifting gently off…
"Hey, bitch!" Howard calls over the railing. "Your ride just left…"
"Howard, I forgive the rudeness but not the stupidity…" Charlotte, chuckling.
Amy eyeing Penny…Uh-oh…
Not all the minions apparently are of the practical sort…
"Sheldon! Careful…I'm coming…" Amy starts to clamber over. Penny and Leonard hurrying to grab her back…
And Howard…Glare at his perturbed face…
That "bitch" comment was rude…She is my sister, regardless…Frown…
"Singin' in the rain…I'm singin' in the rain…" Charlotte, before me, glides slightly about the ledge.
"Charlotte, you'll fall!" I cry.
"Not tonight, dear heart…" she chuckles…
"…what a glorious feelin'…I'm happy again…Vite, vite, mes amis!" she speakes into cell phone…
Hmmn?
Oh, Lord…The copter…Of course…
"Two points ahead, Sheldon…" she grins, catching my stunned expression…
"Sheldon!" Amy's legs dangle…I grab…
"Always interrupting my tender moments!" Charlotte glares.
"I'm going to knock you off this ledge, Charlotte! I've had enough of you!" Amy fumes, standing in front of me…
"And you all say I'm the crazy one?" Charlotte notes. "Ah, my 'ride' as Howard put it so well…" she looks to the helicopter. Now hovering slowly down toward us…Our friends on the roof above, forced to back away…A rope ladder tossed which she deftly grabs…
"By the way, I'm still armed…" she grins…Pulling taser. "Sheldon? Do I have to shock my sister off this building? Or will you come quietly?"
"She can't get away now…The police will block the flights." I note. Moving to step forward…
"She's not going to take a plane…" Amy eyes Charlotte.
"Indeed not…Though I did have tickets ready if that way worked out. I'm thinking a sea cruise to my private island would be much more romantic…Near Fiji…You'll love it Sheldon, very quiet for your work. Lets go, Sheldon…"
"Not till Amy is safe on the roof…" I insist.
Howard and Raj, having slid down to a safer side, listening…
"She has a private island? And wants Sheldon? Alone with her there?" Howard blinked.
"Dude…" Raj sighs… "I bow to your courage…How did you ever survive an encounter with this maniac?"
"You do mean Charlotte, right?" Howard…
"I didn't ask her to climb down here…" Charlotte fumes. "Oh, very well…Amy? Don't make me ask twice, sister. Amy. It's checkmate on all 3 dimensional levels. And you lose …The ruby slippers."
"Leonard?! Howard?! Help Amy up!" I call. "You can use the hose…"
"Hurry, gentlemen…I've no more time…" Charlotte, serene but insistent. Holding taser and pointing…
"This isn't over, Charlotte." Amy coldly takes the tossed-over hose…Climbing…Glance to me…
Get it, got it…Good…
"We'll see, sis. Come, Sheldon, time we were off…" Charlotte takes the rope ladder in both hands. "You first…Don't look down, sweetheart…"
I start up. Hoping Amy got the point…And the ladder has enough length…
Halfway, I halt…Partly sincerely, dizzy… Charlotte nervously urging me on. "Sheldon…I'm coming up now. You don't want to be so far down the ladder when it sways…"
Amy now on roof, with hose…
Actually I very much do…Despite the likelihood of gastric distress…
I climb a few more rungs…Calculating…
Angle of trajectory…Confirmed…
Charlotte grabs and climbs, the rope swinging free…
"Careful! Help him up!" she calls.
One, two…I press down as if on a swing…The rope lurching and starting a pendulum motion. Charlotte gasping and hanging on…
"Amy! At seventy degrees, give or take!…" I call.
"What?" Charlotte, staring.
"No!...Amy, you'll hit him!" she spies the hose in Amy's capable hands. "Go! Go, now!" she calls up to the henchthugs in copter, trying to pull the ladder up and reach for me as the ladder swings…
"Amy?..." Leonard, Penny, Howard, Raj, Bernadette as she eyes the ladder and fires, trusting completely in my judgment.
I must admit to a slight queasiness…I did once make an arithmetic mistake in a key paper that of all people Stephen Hawking detected.
For that I ought to fix him up with my sister-in-law, no doubt. "Stephen, you'll love her…She's the image of your Jane."
But getting back to my point…I admit to the slightest uncertainty…
Though Amy had rightly placed her faith in my genius…
The high pressure stream hitting the ladder at just the right point as the pendulum pulls to seventy degrees… I am suddenly jerked upward by the force, as is Charlotte as the ladder bends sharply…I release and am…Slingshot.
Hopefully if my calculations are correct, with just enough velocity…
I know if I'm killed I'll never hear the end of it from Amy… "'Give or take'? How is that theoretical physics?..."
Charlotte, clinging tightly to the ladder, screaming after me as I release the ladder and soar… "NO! Sheldon!"
Unfortunately, like Icarus, my flight cannot be of long duration…And I have no wings, save those provided by love…