A/N: So. Behind-the-Scenes OVA. I watched. I squee'd. I had no subtitles. Stuff got WEIRD near the end. But I loved it all the same. Two words: Triplets. Talking. XDDDD So, in honor, we have some OVA-inspired half-crack. Only half, because if you've seen the last part of the OVA, they stole all the good crack for themselves. (Or, a popular theory seems to be that it was made while the writers were on catnip tequila.) XD

Summary: "Which scene are we doing?"

Cinematic

"Where is Bocchan?"

"Oh my. You seem very worried, Sebastian. Could it be that you don't know what happened?"

"I know what happened. I was just asking where he is. Don't mock me, Claude."

"No need to glare so. They'll be here eventually. My earl and I thought you could do with some entertainment in the meantime. Since he isn't here right now. There is no-one to stop us, after all…"

"…this is a stupid idea."

xXx

There was a tension in the air. Once could almost feel the threads of fate running through the atmosphere, letting all things that breathed know that there was something wrong this night. Lives were on the line; civilizations would be doomed or spared with this battle.

Upon his glowing throne sat the Lord Alois, the Tron-Spider King of Trancienta, staring into the arena where his champion, Claude Faustus, stood prepared to do battle with the rebel Sebastian Michaelis. Citizens crowded the stands, eager to see the outcome of the fight. The moon hung poised above them, more a beacon of danger than anything else. Because unless Sebastian was victorious, Alois was going to bring down the moon on the neighboring Phantom Kingdom.

Armed only with a set of short but sharp knives each, the two fighters faced each other, both of them sizing up the other as an opponent as they waited for the order to start. Alois climbed gracefully to his feet, the glowing purple lines of his outfit standing out in the dark night.

"Sebastian Michaelis. You fight for the Phantom Kingdom, to the death, knowing that upon your victory, the kingdom and it's young Prince will be spared." The little king giggled then, addressing the other, "Claude Faustus, you fight for me, knowing that on your victory our rival kingdom will be crushed once and for all."

Both nodded, never taking their eyes off each other, and Alois raised a hand. "Begin!"

Claude moved first, faster than Sebastian could have anticipated, immediately lunging forward and slashing, aiming to get past his defenses and cut his throat if he could. Sebastian countered, flinging himself back and down to avoid the strike, rolling to his feet with an upward cut aimed at Claude's chest. He only nicked the other man's sleeve, and was forced to dodge again as Claude went for another killing move, a stab aimed at his heart. This servant of the Tron-Spider King wasn't playing games. He was determined to win. But Sebastian had learned a thing or two during his time in the Trancientan castle, and that was one of his advantages.

He ducked low, driving the toe of his shoe into the back of Claude's leg as hard as he could. The Spider crumpled somewhat, and Sebastian brutally kicked him in the shoulder, feeling the joint give way as the other flew back across the arena. He didn't get up.

"Your Highness!" Sebastian shouted. "This fight is meaningless!"

Alois blinked, puzzled. "Don't you want to win, to save your kingdom? Why aren't you killing him?"

"Killing isn't the answer. I know about you, Highness. I know you lost your family when you were little. The young Prince did as well. You are more similar than you realize! And think of all the lives you would destroy, if you brought the moon down."

The little king stared at the raven-haired man in slight confusion, processing what he had just heard. "I… I didn't know that he…" Seeing his servant starting to get up, popping his dislocated shoulder back into place with a wince, Alois shouted, "Claude, hold! This fight is over. We will think of a different strategy!"

But Claude's golden eyes gleamed brightly, and he stepped forward anyway, brandishing a red laser sword he had pulled from one of the inside pockets of his coat. "I will see the Phantom Kingdom destroyed." he said lowly. "Just to hurt you. And I will see you dead, knowing that you cannot stop me once you breathe no more." He lashed out at Sebastian again, the force behind his attacks stronger than before. Adrenaline and mania were lending him extra strength. Sebastian fended him off as best he could, but it was pure defense. He couldn't find an opening to strike back. Claude drove him farther and farther back, and as Sebastian struggled to keep up, he heard a voice calling to him.

"Sebastian! Sebas-chan! You have to win!"

Sebastian glanced briefly at the audience, seeing standing-

xXx

"Wha- Do I have to?"

"Come on, this is so good, just do it!"

"Alois, you are a terror."

xXx

Sebastian glanced briefly at the audience, seeing standing at the edge of the arena his lover. She had clearly made the dangerous trip from the Phantom Kingdom to cheer him on. But the greatest shock came as she pressed a hand to her stomach, the fabric of her red gown bunching beneath her fingers. "You have to win, for your son! Sebastian, I'm pregnant!"

"Grell…" He found himself filled with new determination. He would defeat Claude, to ensure a better future for his now-unborn son. Facing the gold-eyed Spider, he said defiantly-

"What on earth are you doing?"

All five people on set turned to stare as the director's voice boomed across the room. Thompson promptly dropped the papers he was narrating from, stammering a hasty explanation that was mostly pointing at Alois before fleeing the room. Claude didn't seem to know what to do, the red plastic beam-sword held loosely in one hand. Sebastian had a hand to his forehead in utter frustration and embarrassment. Grell and Alois seemed to be the only two who weren't mortified. Grell was grinning, and Alois climbed down from the platform he was sitting on to show off his costume.

"We were acting out this funny script that Grell and me wrote down!" He spun in a circle, asking, "Isn't this costume cool?"

"I think it's kind of neat." Sebastian perked up at the sound of the soft voice, finally noticing the thirteen-year-old holding the director's hand. Ciel smiled, letting go to cross the set and hug Sebastian. His parents had sent him off to Hollywood after he'd gotten this part, playing an earl, and so he lived with Sebastian now in a small apartment near the set. The man was practically his legal guardian at this point.

"Are you doing all right?" the raven-haired man asked, noting the brace on Ciel's wrist. "It was a nasty fall you had."

"The doctor says it's just a sprain." Ciel replied, laughing as Sebastian swept him up into his arms. He continued to giggle, poking Sebastian in the side of the head and asking, "You let them do a script that involved Grell being pregnant with your son?"

"I didn't know!" Sebastian objected. Grell leered, and the director snatched up her megaphone.

Switching the device on, she bellowed, "You four are going to clean up this mess you made with the props and costumes, and then we're going to get started with today's filming. Move it!"

As they scrambled to obey, Ciel, now free from Sebastian's hold, wandered over to look at the script. "Which scene are we doing?"

"We're filming the flashback today, where you lose your soul to Claude, and Sebastian's reaction." the director said. Ciel flipped through the script, turning pink as he read the scene in question, but didn't object.

Sebastian returned first, winding an arm around Ciel's shoulders. "Come along. You need to get done with wardrobe if we're going to start filming." He reached out with his other arm and caught Alois as the other raced by, shaking his head. "You too. The scene afterwards has you in it."

Alois pouted. "You're no fun, Sebastian!"

"I'm plenty of fun. I acted out your script, didn't I?" Taking Ciel's hand with one of his own and keeping hold of Alois with the other, he headed for the wardrobe trailer. "It was rather entertaining. With proper casting and some tweaking… you might be on your way to becoming a script writer yourself."

"Really?"

Sebastian and Ciel laughed at his enthusiasm, and the director watched them go, unable to hold in a small smile of her own. It could get on her nerves, having to work with such crazies as Grell, and immaturity, as Alois. But she wouldn't trade it for the world. It was too much fun, and she would miss them once the series came to an end.

Oh well… With the ending they had planned, there was always the possibility for season three…!