Author's Note: YAY! The Returning had a birthday! This story was a year old on June 17th! Isn't that great? So everyone please review for its birthday! ^_^

I can't believe it has been over a year, it is almost done too! I estimate to finish at chapter fifty! So Thanks for all the great reviews, RogueNya(4), firefly4543(8), Book Devourer48997(2), and Wanda W(5), ChamberlinofMusic(19)!!! Thank you all soooo very much. I really am glad to know what you all thought about that chapter. This one was fun to write, so hopefully it is fun to read. I just love writing Romy!

All right, I KNOW this took FOREVER to update. I could blame it on the summer camp, or my laziness, BUT instead of just saying sorry as always, I am going to update twice in the same day and promise the third be updated as soon as I get it to my Beta!!!! So thanks for sticking with me!

Special thanks to my Wondrous Beta aiRo25. Everyone should check out her stories. ROMY greatness is sooo there, plus she is just great. So YAY for her! So taught me the importance of white spaces and probably saved all our you people's eyesight!! LOL!

DISCLAIMER- Someone made me realize that I had forgotten to mention this! The Remy in this story is the same age as Rogue and the others. Basically in my story he never made an appearance in Origins! Just wanted to mention this. He is more the comics/TAS Remy! ^_^

Enjoy!

Chapter 37

Her eyes resisted the bright lights illuminating her eyelids. It was such a contrast from the complete darkness that had enveloped her so suddenly in her room. She put her hands up to block it as her green eyes blinked open wearily. The light wasn't helping her headache much either.

Her brain started to recognize that she was awake and she didn't know where she was. She freaked out, trying to sit up, but fell back down when the pain extended everywhere. It was weird though. She didn't feel the pain in her body. It was in her mind. In one part to be specific.

"Lay down, chère," came a faint voice through the fogginess of her brain. She tried briefly to figure out who the voice belonged to, but failed after a few moments trying. All she knew was that the voice was warm.

She closed her eyes again as another wave of pain hit her arm, and she jerked it as if trying to get away from the source of the pain. She squeezed her eyes shut and her face pulled tight.

"Rogue?"

She tried to focus on the voice, but her arm was so heavy. She had never felt that sort of pain before, though she had dreamt of it. She heard the voice again and a name came to mind.

"Remy?" She mumbled, not knowing the word sent waves of relief to the man in question. Her head was starting to hurt more, like staying awake was making the pain increase.

"Ah'm here." The voice said again, soft yet firm.

Her head felt wobbly and she still couldn't see straight. Everything had little spots of different pastel and neon colors. She felt weird too, like something had rattled her brain, swirling everything she knew around and around until she couldn't think.

"Chère, are ya still wid me?" She heard Remy's voice again, but it was getting farther away.

She nodded her head as best as s

he could, not really knowing what he had said. His voice was too far away. She felt her mind turn blank as she floated back into darkness.

--

Michaela threw her leg at the wall, her face scrunching into a scowl. She had gotten up from…it, and she had to do something. So she was twisting around and throwing her weight into the admantium wall in different places that looked the weakest. It wasn't that she was stupid enough to think she could break it. Admantium was unbreakable, even against other admantuim. She just had to let out her stress and stay ready.

She couldn't let her body get physically weak. Logan's might take no effect because of his healing factor, but she had to stay in shape. She was in the weird place her powers took her, so nobody could see her. It made her feel empowered as she pounded relentlessly against the wall.

She threw her foot into it again and again, her training coming into play as she hit where its weak point would be if it were a normal wall. She stopped after another three hits, breathing in and wiping the sweat from her forehead. As her heart raced, she could hear it echoing in her ears as if it was all around her.

They weren't going to take her off guard again.

She only slept in this place now, this invisible place. She had always wondered what her mutant power was. Now she had found it and she actually had very good control over it. It was like second nature to her. She didn't know if it was just something that simple or if she had had control like this before she forgot everything. Either way it didn't matter, she had it.

She wondered when she lost it, but quickly answered her question, realized it was probably in their experimenting. She looked over at Logan. He had woken up from his first sleep since their session as they called it. She knew it was his shift. He nodded his head twice and stood up, grabbing his arm as his face twisted into pain.

Probably a side effect of the injection. She was still getting pain through her arm where her vein ran. It was just minor pain after all that, but it was still there. A reminder to her that she had failed to stay away from here, failed to stay on top. Failed to stay on guard. A failure she wouldn't repeat.

She leaned against the wall and slid down it, letting her heavy eyes close.

She was tired.

There was no doubt about it. She wasn't going to get that needle again. She was through with their pain, through. She wasn't doing it again, and now, they couldn't make her.

She wasn't going to let them give her another injection. It only took two 'sessions' to wipe her mind. It took Logan three, more powerful injections because of his healing factor.

She wasn't going to forget again. Not after all she had done in the last few months. It may not seem like much. It was though, at least to her. She had escaped. Had gotten free of them. As free as she would ever get from what they did and could still do to her. She wasn't going back though. They may be trapped, and there may be no way of escape, but she wasn't forgetting again. She wasn't going to be their mindless robot.

Her pulse increased as she remembered the way she had been. She remembered brief moments, some more intense missions, or had nightmares, twisted with her fears. She still knew though. Knew the truth. There was no dening what she had done and been. She wasn't going to be KARA anymore. That was the only thing that separated them from what they were created to be.

Their choice to not be that.

She wouldn't let them take her choice away. She would protect it with every last breath she had in her. She wouldn't let them do it again. Never again would she be KARA. Now there was only Michaela. There was no KARA, no what she used to be, no…only Michaela.

--

She was sitting up against the headboard, and the pain had completely stopped. It was like it had never been there. She didn't feel sore, but her head hurt. It definitely hurt—nothing else did—just her head. At least it had cleared up enough to let her think.

She was wondering where the pain had so suddenly crept up from. She kept looking for some crazy explanation, but inside she knew what had happened. It had come from one part of her mind. A part hosting an annoying, overprotective, menacing, carring guy. The place where strange, horrible memories and nightmares came from. Logan.

She just knew they were torturing him. She knew the pain she felt was Logan's. It couldn't be explained any other way in her mind. She didn't understand it. Maybe if she could do it again, she could help him! She hadn't been trying though. She sighed, closing her eyes and rubbing hertemples as she was trying to concentrate on that part of her mind.

She had to help him. He would do the same for her. He always had.

Suddenly, she felt like she was there, like she was connected to Logan. Everything seemed different and sharper. Clearer. She felt everything perfectly clear…it felt like…she was him.

She could smell the cement all around her, see the holes in the walls with slash marks, and smell the putrid smell of being captive. More than that, she felt a fearsome urge. She felt trapped. The ferocity of the situation crawled over her mind, taking it over and pushing any thoughts of resisting with it. She was growing more and more….

She sprung up, her mind flying everywhere at once as she gasped for breath.

It was gone then. She was Rogue again. She looked around the plain white medical room with wary green eyes.

"What's de matta, chère?"

She looked at Remy as he asked. He had been leaning against the wall a few feet from her bed the whole time, they were there together, but every time she woke up or got startled, he seemed to suddenly be by her bedside, as he was at the moment.

"Logan…" she muttered to herself, knowing that she had seen where Logan was. She couldn't explain it, but she knew it was true. She felt it in her gut. It had been Logan who told her to always go with her gut and instincts even if they didn't make sense at that moment. This was one of those times. It was like she had been there along side him, like she was him.

"Chère, calm down," he said louder.

She breathed deeply, trying to calm down like he had said, but she couldn't. She had seen where Logan was! Maybe she could help him!

"Rogue…Calm down."

She looked at his fearsome red eyes as Remy's loud voice caught her attention. The red in his eyes became more distinct against the black and this time his voice was more commanding. She tried, even though her eyes were wild with excitement.

"Ah saw him Remy! Ah saw him!" She breathed, staring into Remy's dark eyes, which seemed light at the same time. They were different like that.

"Saw who?" he asked, concern etching his handsome features.

"Ah saw Logan!" she mumbled to him, more excited than before.

"Ya not makin' sense, chère," Remy said, his eyes for once showing his worry.

"Ah saw Logan," she said to him, clearly as if it was the most obvious thing in the entire world.

She was trying to sort out the jumbled thoughts in her mind. It was different though, the thoughts were all her own for once. No voices whispering what to do or their opinions. None. The pain must have pushed them all away. Her mind was completely clear now.

It wasn't just that though; she felt different…weird. She felt like she had left something when she somehow saw into Logan's mind or was there.

The weird thing was she didn't feel like she had lost anything. She sat for a moment staring into Remy's red on black eyes, not really seeing them.

"It all makes sense now," she said out loud, too deep in thought to see Remy's face confused for an instant before falling back to its normal indifference. She didn't hear him ask what made sense because she was caught in her own little revelation.

She had always seen the corny revelations on TV or on a movie were the main characters suddenly understands everything and all the puzzle pieces fall into place. It was all silly movie stuff as far as she had been concerned. Now though, she was having one of those ridiculous moments herself.

Everything made sense, the way she felt during the Cure, how different she felt when her powers returned, why she had broken up with Bobby for no particular reason, why she didn't see him the same way, why she had been seeing more and more of Remy…that was all Rogue.

All this time. Ffrom the kiss with Cody, to her powers becoming known, why she had traveled to Canada and what she had been searching for. Well, she had been searching all these years; it hadn't stopped when she found Logan in that Canadian bar. All these years she had been searching for herself. It was so painfully clear to her now.

This whole time, this hadn't been Rogue. It had been some crazy version of herself. A version that was hosting far too many personalities to let her be herself. The Rogue she knew was herself, just being squished under so many other people and their personalities that her own mixed with their's.

It explained why she had felt so guilty towards Logan. Why the Cure had left her so confused and unfulfilled. It was because she was forced to be herself then. It forced everything away bringing the old her back. She hadn't even realized it. She felt guilty because she didn't have his personality anymore, or anyone's. The guilt filled the confused space she was left with in her mind. It had all been too sudden and forced to understand at thate moment. She understood it now.

That was why she missed being an X-men. Being an X-men was exciting and adventurous. She was helping people and doing things. That was what Rogue liked.

That's why she had broken up with Bobby. The real Rogue would never date someone like Bobby, he was too soft, laid back, and truthfully, a tad selfish. She had met him when she was lost, when she had forgotten the sarcastic, outgoing, idealistic southern town girl she had always been. She would always be grateful he had helped her during that time, but the real Rogue just couldn't be happy with someone like him.

That was why when her powers came back everything seemed even more confusing and twisted. She had just started to feel like the old her, then the other psyches came back. But she had already seen herself again and it was too much to sit under.

That was why she felt such an attraction to the red-eyed Cajun who was staring at her with concern at the moment. Rogue liked that sort of person. The mysterious ones, who were quiet yet loud at the same time. Who didn't let people walk all over them and were always thinking of something, always doing something. Someone so like her, yet completly different.

She suddenly felt so…freed. Like the pain from Logan's mind had cleared her own so she could see that all these psyches were taking from her, taking her and turning her into lost, quiet, little Marie.

She felt empowered. For the first time in years she was actually free from her mutation. She still couldn't touch and the psyches were still roaming her mind, but she understood now. She could see what she had been missing before.

She understood that she had to take charge of her mind. Her face suddenly broke out in a genuine smile and she was suddenly interrupted from her revelation by a spicy Cajun accent.

"What be goin' on, chère? Cause dis is one confused Cajun." Remy asked, his empathy picking up on her rush of drastically changing emotions.

It was weird. Her feelings were completely different from what they had been mere moments ago. They were more like what he had felt when he first arrived. He had to say he was enjoying it, not that it shocked him anymore. At least she wasn't crying.

"Ah get it, Remy!" Rogue jumped off the metal table excitedly.

His eyebrow dipped in confusion as he too stood up, with a questioning shrug. "Get what?" he asked, still somewhat confused.

He watched her smile at him and his gut twisted. She hadn't smiled like that for days. It was relieving to see her really smile and feel her emotions twist back to normal. No, that was wrong. It was different. There was something different that had been there, but not so pronounced.

"It doesn't matta. Come on, sugah. Ah have ta talk ta 'Ro!" she said, still leaving him confused.

He wasn't used to being left in the dark like this, but he just went along, not letting his befuddlement show in his body motions. He followed her rapidly disappearing form out the door. He could only wondered what had changed so quickly.

Women. Just when you thought you knew them, they blew you away.

He felt his lips pull up in a smile.

Rogue seemed to be very good at blowing him away.

Author's note- Alright. So there was chapter 37 and Rogue's little revalation. Again. Sorry it took tooo long!