Layla was done with the shock and crying part for the day. But she had to admit that she was still shaky after brother Butch tried to comfort her. He´d asked if that had been her first time and she´d nodded avoiding his eyes. She hadn´t trusted her voice back then.
"You wouldn´t like to know what my first time was, trust me," he´d tried to reassure her with an innocent smile, "things like this happen, it´s okey."

She knew that. And she knew that she was over-reacting in so many ways, but it didn´t change the fact that it bothered her and she felt upset.
"I should have known there was something wrong. He looked so frightened when…"
Butch had taken her hand in his, squeezing. "You did nothing wrong, he was probably frightened because he realized he could have hurt you with his behavior."
Butch had looked in her eyes and this time she had done the same. "If you decide to tell anyone else or Phury in particular, please, tell him the details so he won´t end up snapping Lethre´s neck."
They had both laughed shortly and after some time Butch had left her in the room to rest. He´d been called by the king for some urgent matter, but it hadn´t been too long and brother Vishous appeared in the doorway taking his place.

"I shouldn´t ask this of you, you can definitely say no, but… we need your help."
So he told her everything what happened and what was said between him and Lethre and after a moment she agreed with meeting the man she´d just had the sex with. Vishous accompanied her to the small living room inside the tunnels. It looked like someone was living there. Layla mentally prepared herself and took a deep breath when Lethre sat opposite her. She couldn´t quite look at him, even after he apologized. Again.

However when Vishous started to speak about the plan they had, she was back to her old self and ready to give her statement.
"I can not do that."
"We won´t insist," Lethre reminded gently.

Layla finally picked up her head and set her eyes on the man in front of her. She knew what she´ll find there. Misery, sadness, regret and desire to find out the missing parts of his soul. How could she not help?
"No, it´s not like that. I want to assist you. But you intend to use the sacred bowls to access your memories," she shook her head, "it is not so simple. Only few of us know how to do that. The one has to be a chosen who hasn´t met the brotherhood. It is because the bowls are primary used for writing down their private lives for future generations."
"And you know a chosen who would be willing to help us?"
"I do, but still there is another problem." Layla knew she had to explain what was natural for her but was unknown for others. "We can´t do anything without Scribe Virgin´s permission. Those are her bowls. She blessed them. We need those bowls, but we can not take them here, she would find out immediately. She can be listening even now."

"No, she isn´t. Trust me."

Vishous started to pace around the room giving some ideas thinking.
"What about doing the whole act under her nose?"
"No," Layla dismissed the plan, "as I said she will know if we use any of her bowls no matter where."
The silence after her answers began to prolong.
"Okey, how is this blessing done? You just need a bowl and then do what?" Layla didn´t know what was brother Vishous trying to imply with that question, but she described the process anyway.
"I know that she needed the blood from chosen, the one who will use the bowl. Only few drops to the clean water. After that she drank from the water and retreated to her Sanctuary. She didn´t show up for few hours. It usually happened in the evening and next morning she gave the bowl to the chosen with a ceremony."
"Why did she retreat?" he asked with a frown.
"We don´t know, but rumors were that the ritual weakened her. When you think about it, she gave her powers to see the past and present into this object. Why is it important?"
Lethre looked up as well.

Vishous wasn´t walking anymore, he stood straight but his gaze was in the distance.
"If the only thing she did was to bless that thing, let´s try it as well. I´m her son, true? How hard can a blessing be?"

He wasn´t afraid of his mother, he didn´t respect her as one. For him it was easy to do something behind her back. But Vishous knew that it wasn´t that simple for anyone else. Lethre agreed to his plan because he was desperate, Layla agreed because she was friend to the brotherhood and maybe also to help Lethre. But the small little woman who looked more fragile than anything he´s ever seen didn´t know them. Yes, they were warriors needing her service, but this service went against Scribe Virgin´s unwritten rules. When she finally agreed it meant they had at least hope to perform the ritual.

Tahra was young with blue innocent eyes and long red hair. It was such an uncommon combination that it was really hard to see into her according to her look. However, she spoke with a manner as every chosen, wisely choosing her words.

"You have to understand that this goes against our law and it is dangerous for you as it is for me. I could be punished if Scribe Virgin ever found out. Because of it, you have to swear no one else beside this room will know. No one."

Vishous pushed himself of his seat again.

Hell. He couldn´t leave Butch out of it. How could he explain his absence when the ritual will be performed?
Both Layla and Lethre were watching him with knowing eyes.
It was up to him. Negotiation was not possible.
"Fine," he said getting his ass back to the spot he previously occupied. Fuck.

Tahra wasn´t finished. "I need to warn you that it might not work despite our best effort. Maybe we miss some part of the ritual that only Scribe Virgin knows about."
"We will try," Lethre seemed to be confident and in doubts at the same time. He knew they all risked a lot.
"Yes, we will. And I hope Butch won´t kill me at the end of the day."

Finding a right moment for their mission was a crucial part of the plan. Fortunately for their case, glymera started to protest at the very same time about their sons being left without guidance and training while brotherhood worked on the case of missing girls. When Butch returned to the Pit from Wrath´s office he was spitting curses and poured them both a drink almost shaking from the anger.
"It´s like they don´t fucking care, V. It could be their daughters for fuck sake! And we know that boys can still train at home until the threat is gone."
The new orders were for him and Butch to stay out of the patrol and spending their night down in the gym. That was in two days time. Zsadist and Phury had the first shift.

It was hard to calm Butch down, he needed to let out some steam and Vishous knew just the right way how to help him.
He started to strip down on his way to the shower.
Barefoot and without his shirt he just reached for his pants when he turned back to see if he was receiving a desirable reaction for his little show.

Cop was pretty much starring holes into his body with open mouth, half sitting, half standing.
"You make such a slut of me, V." He appeared right in front of him the next second, attacking his mouth full force and pushing him further into the bathroom. V hit the shower wall with his back and let the pain spread into his shoulders and arms where Butch was gripping him hard. He moaned into cop´s mouth several times before he felt the stream of water falling down on their heads, soaking out the rest of the clothes they had on.
"Fuck me," he breathed out in cop´s neck.
"No, I´m angry," Butch groaned back pulling away to get his t-shirt of.
"Fuck me," V demanded again and this time he could clearly see the change on Butch´s face. His eyes were aflame and he was on the very edge of losing control. Just what V wanted. Saying those words one more time and there would be no way back. He whispered them in the pouring water.

OOO

The day had come and Vishous was restless. He despised the fact that he had to lie to Butch, even more after they´d spent such a wonderful time together. The phantom touch of cop´s hands was still there and as strong as when it was real and not just a powerful memory. When they got out of the Pit he felt like he was going on his own execution.
"Hey, sweetheart," Butch called after him making him freeze on the spot in the middle of corridor.
He slowly turned after his voice and saw the figure emerge from light. Butch had his glove in his hands and was smiling at him.
"You forgot something."
V smiled as well. These days it was easy to leave it behind when V didn´t need the glove in Butch´s presence. He knew how he liked to by touched exactly by that hand.
"Thank you." He took it carefully from his fingers, but before putting it on, he placed his tattooed hand on cop´s cheek. He felt him leaning in while closing his eyes and the time stopped in that moment for both of them. Vishous gave him a tender kiss to break the spell.
"We need to get going."
"Yeah, I know."

He and Butch spent the night training just as was expected. They both had their own groups and finished exercises three hours before dawn so everyone could get home safely. John Mathew was his reason to stay in the gym for longer than was usual and that was the half-truth he tried so hard to formulate. That way he didn´t have to pull John into his plans and neither directly lie to Butch. After cop returned to the Pit Vishous indeed worked on John´s firing skills for half an hour and after that he dematerialized into Commodore. He had one and half hour till Butch could possibly start suspect anything. He had to be back by that time no matter if the ritual would be a success or failure.

He met with Lethre and the chosen soon after he´d arrived. The three of them entered his penthouse and set to work immediately.

V wasn´t sure if any of his visitors payed attention to his "table" and all the instruments hanging from the wall. It was pointless to cover it now and he´d had no time to do it before. This was the only place where he knew no one would disturb them.

"The bowl is ready," Tahra announced putting the knife she used on the side table. The drops of her blood mixed with the water and disappeared. She left the bowl on the same table and went to prepare herself to the bathroom. V wasn´t sure what kind of preparation that was, but he hoped she will be quick.
"Maybe we can prepare as well," he said, deciding to get a drink while waiting. Lethre looked like he needed it even more, so he fetched him one first.
"Don´t worry. It should be safe. If anything goes wrong, we will stop in time."
Lethre nodded, but the stiffness didn´t leave him. "I still feel like I put a lot of people in a bad situation only because I can´t deal with my own head."
"You can´t know who you are unless you know where you came from," Vishous quoted thinking about himself and cop. "I realized something when I went to the funeral with Butch." He knew that Lethre was aware of where they´d been on that day. Rhage had told him.
"I thought that Butch was happy with his new life… and yes, he is, but there was always something hovering above him, like he wasn´t complete and it showed from time to time. He needed to accept that his old life was over, he needed to say his goodbye and end it properly and after he did it, I could see all this weight coming of his shoulders." He poured them another shot, the last one. They needed to have their heads clear.
"You know I decided to do that as well. I struggled with my past for a long time." Lethre looked at him, but said nothing.
"I had a shit of the father just like Butch and when I saw cop forgiving him I was amazed. But then I realized he didn´t do it for the old man. He did it because it freed him."
He took the shot and threw the liquid into his throat. His eyes met with Lethre´s.
"I can´t forgive my father or my mother. But I´m ready to accept what happened and forget it. I don´t want to hate him, I don´t want to curse him, I don´t want to feel anything at all when someone mentions his name. I want to be free of it just like Butch."
And he already partly succeeded, fighting against his inner demons, trusting Butch with his body and everything he had. Never even once he´d thought about that damn night in the camp when Butch had held him against his wet body. His hands had been only his, not doctors who´d put the ink on his skin.
"I´m telling you this because you may think we are risking a lot without a good reason, because those are only memories… But memories are important. You have to first have them to forget them or treasure them."

Vishous sensed that his words really encouraged the man. His possible response was cut short when the chosen reappeared dressed in the robe, long hair lying on her shoulders. They decided to do this on the large bed where all of them could fit and felt comfortable at the same time. Still for Tahra it had to be a weak compensation.
"Now you must repeat after me."
V used the old language to give his blessing feeling stupid as well as hoping it would somehow work.
After the chosen finished, she offered him the bowl. He took it with both hands, taking a deep breath before he drank. It didn´t taste any special. He returned the bowl and looked at Lethre.
"I don´t feel any different."
"Maybe it will come later."
"Or it didn´t work."
Vishous gestured for them to continue. "You should try it right away and if nothing happens than once more tomorrow evening. I have to return to the mansion."
Lethre gave him an approving nod. This was him fulfilling his part. There was nothing else he could do.

He stood up from the bed intending to invite them to spend the day there if they had to, when suddenly his chest tightened and his hand sprung to his heart. The cold sweat formed on his forehead instantly as the world started to spin around him. It was fast. And it hit him with a great force almost knocking him of his legs.

"I think it´s working," he admitted letting Lethre lead him away to the sofa. He sat down.
"Are you okey? What should we do?" He heard an urgency and fear in his voice.
"It´s fine, I just need to rest for a while before I´ll go." He insisted that the two of them shall continue. So he stayed on his own, fighting the black spots in his vision. This feeling of being drained up was familiar. But worse by every passing minute. There was a moment when he truly started to be afraid that he might pass out, but it was soon replaced by soothing warm spreading inside his muscles.
"Don´t fall asleep. Vishous. You need to go. Butch is waiting."
He murmured something in reply and let himself be drawn into darkness.