Chapter 34

May 8, 2012

"Sit down," Haley told Nathan as she went to the freezer to get some ice. They were home. Neither had said anything in the car on their way back. They had sat in silence, both thinking about what had just happened with Lucas.

Haley grabbed an ice pack and brought it to Nathan in the living room. "Here. It'll help with the swelling." She placed it on his hand, and he flinched. "Sorry."

Nathan looked down at his fist and sighed. He couldn't believe he'd punched his brother. They hadn't gotten into a fight that bad since they were in high school and had hated each other. Nathan hadn't meant to get physical with Lucas. He wasn't even thinking straight when he did it. All he knew was that Lucas had crossed a line by insulting Haley. Nathan's temper had taken care of the rest.

Haley rubbed his back and leaned her chin against Nathan's shoulder. "Do you want to tell me what's going on in that head of yours right now?"

"This is all so screwed up."

"What happened to Lucas, it's not your fault."

"You know, I thought I had it bad when I tore my ACL. When I heard about Dan's heart condition, it made my injury seem like nothing. At least my knee can heal. But a heart disease like that, it'll never go away," Nathan said in a low voice. "There was a one-in-two chance that I could've had it, Hales. It could've been me."

"I know," she replied softly.

"I'm a horrible person."

"No, you're not. You were just trying to help Lucas. Punching him may not have been the best way to handle it, but it's not like Lucas was without fault either. You're a good brother, Nathan."

"If I'm such a good brother, then why is it that when I look at Lucas, I thank God that it wasn't me?"

Haley could see right through him. The guilt Nathan felt about being spared was slowly eating away at him. She felt her heart break and did her best to soothe him. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"It's awful. Don't try to make me feel better."

"Hey, look at me." She brought her hand to his cheek and turned his face toward hers. "It's perfectly normal to feel that way, Nathan. Just because you didn't end up having HCM doesn't mean that you didn't have a right to be scared. Or the right to feel relieved when you found out that you were fine. You're only human."

Nathan looked away and shook his head. "It's just that Lucas is supposed to be the rock. He's always been the stable one. Seeing him so angry and bitter, it reminds me so much of my father when I was growing up. He knew just the right buttons to push, too."

"You've been through a lot," Haley acknowledged. "And you've come a long way. But I don't want to see you beat yourself up over this, Nathan. I don't. Lucas is a grown man, capable of making his own decisions. Granted, he's not exactly making good ones right now, but it's his life. No one can live it for him. The only thing you can do is let him grieve and be angry while you follow your own path."

"I don't understand how you're so calm about this right now. You heard what he said. Aren't you angry?"

An image of Lucas on the floor before they left his house flashed into her mind. She answered honestly, "I'm upset and maybe a little hurt by what he said, but I know deep down that Lucas didn't mean any of it. He's lashing out. Until he comes to terms with everything, there is nothing we can do but pray for him."

Nathan leaned in to kiss her lovingly on the lips. "You're amazing. You know that?" His wife was great at giving advice. Her constant love and kindness toward others never ceased to astound him.

"I know, but that doesn't mean I don't like hearing it every once in a while," she teased.

He grinned and kissed her once more. "Thanks, Hales."

She stroked his cheek. "You're welcome. Now go do something to keep yourself busy. I don't want you sulking today."

"Where are you going?" Nathan questioned with a frown. "I thought we could spend the day together. Maybe go shopping for some stuff for the baby."

Haley's eyebrow quirked at that. "Am I hearing things or did my husband actually suggest that we go shopping?"

"For the baby," he specified. "That does not include girly stores. Unless you want to stop by Victoria's Secret to get something sexy for me later. I'll make an exception for that."

Haley rolled her eyes, laughing. "Oh, you're such a gentleman."

"That's me," he beamed and drew her in for a searing kiss. He couldn't help but smile at the whimpering sound Haley made when his tongue seductively stroked hers. Haley was breathless by the time he pulled away.

"As tempting as that sounds"—She really, really wanted to stay—"I can't go right now. I'm heading over to Brooke's. I don't know if she's seen those magazines yet, but she's going to need all of the support she can get when she does."

"Sure, I understand. Go." Nathan felt awful for Brooke. She'd never done anything but love and take care of his brother. She didn't deserve any of this bullshit, either.

"I don't know when I'll be back, but I'll call you."

"Take as much time as you need. I'll play some NBA Live or do some rehab in the pool."

"Wait, don't you have rehab later today with Marcus?"

"Oh, that's right," Nathan suddenly remembered. This whole weird day was throwing him off. "Don't forget to go. You know how important it is."

"I won't forget. I promise."

"All right. I'll see you later."

He kissed her goodbye and watched her leave. Afterward, Nathan turned on his Play Station. He was going to do what Haley said and keep busy. Because if he thought about Lucas or Dan any more today, he was going to start feeling depressed himself.

As soon as Peyton answered Brooke's door with that gloomy expression on her face, Haley knew that whatever was waiting inside wasn't good. Haley didn't say anything but gave Peyton a questioning look. The blonde stepped aside to let Haley peek in. Brooke was sitting on the couch with her head in her hands, crying. Haley's heart tugged at the sight.

"How long has she been like that?"

Peyton came to stand outside and shut the door behind her. Haley's guess was that she didn't want Brooke overhearing them. "Over an hour. She's a wreck."

"Poor Brooke," Haley muttered.

"Where have you been all morning? I could've used some help with Brooke." Peyton sounded more tired than annoyed.

"Nathan spent the night at Lucas's. I had to go over there and help with some stuff."

"Does he really have a Mohawk?" Peyton inquired.

"Oh yeah. I had to shave his head to get rid of it."

"I'm sure Brooke will appreciate that. You know, I think she noticed his bad hairdo even before the girls around him."

Haley cracked a small smile. "Sounds like Brooke. So she's seen the magazines?"

"She's got a few stacks of them in the house. I guess she bought as many as she could find. She wanted them off of the shelves."

"We better get inside." Haley didn't want to leave Brooke alone for too long. She and Peyton walked over to the couch and sat on either side of the brunette. Haley put her arm around her as Peyton grabbed Brooke's hand.

"It's okay, Brooke," Haley soothed. "We're here."

"H-how could he d-do this to me?" she sobbed and picked up one of the magazines on the table. "I mean, I know we called off the e-e-engagement and b-broke up, but I n-never thought h-he'd go out and hook up with random b-bimbos. Did I mean nothing to him?" Brooke was crying so hard that it was difficult to make out her words.

"He didn't hook up with anyone," Haley told her. She didn't want to add that she'd seen Lucas this morning. If Brooke ever saw what Haley had, she'd be even more hysterical.

Brooke whacked the magazine. "Look at this picture, Haley. Have you seen this? He's surrounded by these whores. And where the hell is his shirt?"

"I know that it looks bad, but I promise that Lucas didn't go with any of them. Deb called Nathan last night, and he picked up Lucas from Tric and brought him home."

"And what if Nathan wasn't there? What then?"

"Brooke, don't make yourself sick over fake scenarios," Peyton advised. "Nothing happened. That's all that matters."

"Nathan won't always be there. It's obvious that Lucas is into the party scene now." Brooke's cell phone rang. She quickly picked it up and clicked ignore. "It's my mother—again. I'm sure she just can't wait to say 'I told you so.' She never approved of me and Lucas—the bitch. Everyone knows it's over now. My poor assistant has been bombarded with calls from the media all morning, and my publicist is working overtime."

"Brooke—"

"No. It's over. I mean really over. I kept thinking that eventually Lucas would come to his senses and realize I did what had to be done. That I only did it because I loved him. Then we could get back together and work through it all. But what he's doing now, it's nothing but a slap in my face. It's over. I'm done," she exclaimed.

Haley and Peyton exchanged concerned looks.

"Brooke, you're really upset right now," Peyton said carefully. "Don't make any snap judgments or decisions."

"I'm not. I can't be with a man who will throw away an eight-year relationship all for some stupid game. It's obvious that our relationship never meant as much to him as it did to me."

"That's not true, Brooke," Peyton disagreed. "Lucas loved you. He still does. He's just very angry and confused right now."

"So you're siding with him?"

"No, of course not. He's being a total ass. But that doesn't mean that your entire relationship meant nothing. Don't you be so quick to throw it away, either."

"Peyton's right, Brooke. Cry, be angry, and let all of your frustration and pain out. But don't forget the good times that you and Lucas had. You should always keep them with you," Haley said. "Because one day Lucas is going to wake up and realize what a great woman he's let slip through his fingers. And he's going to do everything he can to get you back."

"What if I don't want him back?" Brooke challenged.

"Then that's ultimately up to you," she replied. "But one of your greatest strengths is your heart, Brooke, and how loyal you are to the ones you love. Don't lose that—for anything."

Brooke sniffled and dabbed at her wet, puffy red eyes with a tissue. She picked up a different magazine. It was one Haley hadn't seen yet. The cover had a picture of Brooke and Lucas at a red carpet event. They were holding each other and sharing in a quick, loving kiss. In between them was a jagged line, splitting the image in half. The cover read "Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott Call It Quits. How her betrayal caused his downward spiral…see details inside."

Brooke sighed sadly. "For once, I think the press got it right."

"I think you're ready."

"Really?"

Haley glanced over the practice exam that she'd just graded. "Yes. You did great on this. I just know you're going to ace your final exams next week. I also spoke with your teachers, and they all agreed to let you take your exams here in the Tutoring Center."

Jack was just starting to deal with his test anxiety. He still found it difficult to be in the same room as other students during an exam. It didn't matter if the teacher gave him extra time. Jack would feel weird being the last student in the classroom. He worried that the other students would be aware of his problem, which made him that much more stressed.

"Thanks, Mrs. Scott."

"No problem. Did you sign up for that summer program I told you about?" Haley questioned. She'd done some research online and found a student resource center in Tree Hill that helped students like Jack deal with their various learning disabilities. Haley had suggested to Jack that he give it a try. Hopefully, he'd be able to gain more control over his anxiety before school started up in the fall.

"Yeah. I figured it couldn't hurt."

"Good. I know they'll be able to help you."

"I hope so. I just want to be like everyone else, you know?"

"There's nothing wrong with being you, Jack. We all have our fears. It's all about how you handle them."

"What's your fear?" Jack asked curiously.

"Clowns."

He busted out laughing. "Are you serious?"

"Oh yeah. I hate them," Haley told him with a shudder. "They always have that creepy makeup and those hideous outfits. You never really know who's under there."

"I never thought about them like that." Jack grinned and said teasingly, "Thanks. I think I have a new phobia."

"Don't even go there." She checked her watch. "Speaking of going, our time is up."

"Okay." Jack got his things together. "I'll see you Friday?"

"Yes. We'll go over your study guides and make sure you're ready for those exams."

"Cool." Jack put his backpack over his shoulder and looked toward the door. Haley followed his gaze and noticed Sam standing in the doorway. She waved to Jack, who seemed to blush when he saw Haley watching him.

"I see you and Sam have gotten friendly," Haley observed.

"Uh, yeah. She's helping me with English, and I'm helping her with history. It was a good idea to partner us up."

"I thought it might help." Haley concealed a satisfied smile. Something was definitely going on between the two.

"I'll see you later."

"Bye." Haley waved to Sam, who waved back before leaving with Jack. Quentin entered the Tutoring Center right after them.

"Hey, Mrs. S," he greeted.

"Hi, Quentin. Just give me one second." Haley got up to put away Jack's file and grab Quentin's. She returned to the table.

"What are we working on today?" He pulled out his books and notebooks.

Haley didn't hide her smile this time. Quentin had come a long way these past few months. Instead of trying to fight her every step of the way, he actually seemed eager to learn and do well now. His grades had improved immensely during this last quarter. Haley was very proud of him. She just wished she'd be able to see if he kept it up next year. Haley would be disappointed if he returned to his old bad habits in the fall. Quentin was finally living up to his potential. All of her tutees were. She'd love to stay and help them during their senior year. She'd grown rather attached to them. They were all wonderful and talented kids when given a chance. Haley would surely miss them when she and Nathan had to go back to Seattle.

"Mrs. S, are you okay?" Quentin inquired as she retook her seat.

Haley cleared her mind of thoughts of Seattle and leaving Tree Hill. She hadn't realized that her emotions were so plainly written on her face. Now was not the time to dwell on it. She had enough difficult things to deal with in her life.

"So, have you talked to Lucas at all lately?"

Nathan cringed at Whitey's question. He'd hoped that he could get away with not talking about his brother while they reviewed game tapes and plans for the team next year. Leave it to Whitey to be blunt. "I'm assuming you've seen the tabloids recently."

"Yes. But I figure I'll hear the truth from you."

"I haven't talked to Lucas in a week. And the last time we did talk, it didn't end so well."

"What happened?"

"I'd rather not get into it." Nathan nodded to the screen. "Let's just finish watching the game tapes."

Whitey opened up his desk drawer and pulled out a magazine. Lucas, of course, was on the cover. He was at some other bar and looked totally hammered. "It says in here that Lucas is out drinking and partying to all hours of the night."

Nathan kept his gaze on the TV. "He probably is."

"It says he's having a mental breakdown as a result of his ruined career. He's cut himself off from family and friends. A source close to him says that the two of you are fighting."

Nathan doubted that the so-called "source" was actually real. Most of the time magazines just said that to cover up what they'd made up themselves. The fact that it reported they were fighting—which, unfortunately, was true—was nothing more than a coincidence. "I never took you as the type to follow celeb gossip, Whitey."

"I usually don't. But when it comes to two of my former players whom I care about, I tend to take an interest. What happened between you and Lucas, Nathan?"

Nathan sighed loudly and sat up in his chair. Whitey wasn't going to drop it until he got an answer. "I hit him."

"Talk about tough love," Whitey muttered.

"I didn't mean to. I picked up Lucas from Tric last week, because he was making an ass out of himself. The next morning he was acting like a jerk, and I tried to reason with him," Nathan recounted. "He wouldn't hear anything I had to say. Then he said something insulting about Haley. I lost it, and then I punched him. We haven't talked since."

"Sounds like he was trying to make you just as angry as he is."

"Yeah, well, it worked. And he got his other wish. I'm going to leave him alone."

"Are you sure that's what you should do?"

"It's obvious you think differently."

Whitey chuckled lowly. "I was trying to be subtle."

Nathan paused the game tape. "Subtle is not your specialty. Go ahead. Just tell me."

"I think you should still try to help your brother. I know he says he wants to be left alone, but I'm sure it's the opposite of what he really feels. If anything, Lucas needs to know right now that someone still believes in him," Whitey advised. "He'll find his way back eventually."

Nathan leaned back in his seat, once again. It's not like he hadn't thought about what Whitey had just said. Nathan couldn't stop thinking about Lucas all week. He'd be in the middle of rehab or going over the Ravens' game book when his brother would suddenly pop into his mind. Nathan would wonder how Lucas was doing and what he was up to. Then he'd see a magazine or the news reporting on his brother's latest blunder, and Nathan would question his decision to stay away all over again. Nathan wanted to help Lucas. He did. But what could he honestly accomplish if Lucas wasn't willing to help himself?

"Just be there for him. That's all I'm saying," Whitey concluded. He grabbed the remote control from Nathan and turned the game tape back on. "Oh, I almost forgot."

Nathan frowned when Whitey paused the footage again. "What is it?"

"I'm going to start the search for my replacement this summer. I was wondering if you'd like to help me."

"Really?"

"Sure. I think I could use your insight. You've been where those kids are now. I want someone who will be able to coach them on more than how to improve their scoring average."

"You mean like you did with me?" Nathan replied, nudging him.

Whitey shook his head, laughing. "You were a pain in my ass, Scott."

"Hey, we both know that you liked to yell at me."

"I did not."

"Yes, you did. You liked to yell at me, and I liked to make you yell."

"Well, if you'd listened to me in the first place, you knucklehead—" Whitey began before Nathan busted out laughing.

"See. I told you."

"Shut up, Scott, before I change my mind." He rolled his eyes and pushed Play. A knock sounded on the door a few seconds later.

"Hey," Haley greeted from the doorway. "Is everything okay? I thought I heard yelling."

Whitey narrowed his eyes at Nathan but smiled at Haley. "It's fine. Nathan here was just being a smartass."

"He does have a knack for it."

"Hey!" Nathan protested in mock outrage.

"Aw, you know we love you, honey," she teased and came to sit beside him.

"What are you doing here, Hales? Don't you have tutoring?"

"I finished early and thought I'd come bother you guys for a while."

"You could never be a bother—unlike this one."

"Again with the picking on me. I'm the real victim here," Nathan declared.

Haley patted Nathan's shoulder in fake sympathy and motioned to the TV. "So, what are you guys up to?"

"We're looking over game tapes," Whitey answered.

"We're trying to figure out a plan for next year. It'll be good for the team and help out the new coach," Nathan added.

"That's right. You're retiring this year. It's so sad."

"Now don't get all weepy on me. I've coached for over thirty-five years and like all good things, it must come to an end."

"The team is going to miss you."

"Nah. I'm sure they can't wait to get rid of this old geezer," he joked. "Besides, it's time to pass the reigns onto someone else."

"Do you know who yet?"

"No, but Nathan here is going to help me."

"That's nice. But I don't care what you say, Whitey, these boys are going to miss you," Haley declared. "And you're going to miss them."

Whitey smiled. "That may be true."

"It's too bad we couldn't get that last championship for you," Nathan spoke up. There was a hint of regret in his voice.

"I already got my championship thanks to you and that brother of yours." He slapped Nathan's shoulder and added with a humorous grin. "Another one simply would've gone to my head."

"Well, good luck," Haley told him. She reached into her purse and grabbed a book. "You guys can continue with your strategizing. I'll just read until you finish."

"You sure? I can take you home, Hales."

"No, I'm fine. I'm getting to the good part in this anyway. I won't even know either of you are here in another minute or two," she teased.

"Well, before you disappear on us, I have something to give you." Whitey stood up and walked over to the closet. He pulled out a rectangular box with ribbon tied around it.

"What's that?" Nathan questioned.

"I figure with school ending next week that I wouldn't be seeing much of you, Haley. I wanted to give this to the both of you while I still had the chance." He handed the box to her.

"Whitey, you didn't have to get us anything," Haley replied.

"Just open it."

Haley untied the ribbon and lifted the top. Her eyes started to water when she saw the light blue, crocheted blanket inside. "Wow. This is beautiful."

"My wife Camilla made that when we decided to have kids. She made a blue one, because she always wanted a boy. It turned out that kids were never in the cards for us. I know she would've wanted you to have it instead. I'm sure you'll put it to good use."

"We will. Thank you, Whitey. I love it."

"Thanks, Coach," Nathan said sincerely. The gesture meant a lot to him. He was sure that Whitey would've passed it down to his own kids if he'd had any.

Haley stood up and hugged him. She also gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Much to Nathan's amusement, Whitey seemed to be blushing.

"You're welcome." Whitey appeared both touched and a little embarrassed by the emotional moment. He sat back in his chair and elbowed Nathan to look at the screen. He was all business again. "Now, back to work, Scott. We haven't got all day."

Nathan did as he said, not even bothering to hide his grin.