A/N: A few people have mentioned that they believe the grading system in the fic to be incorrect; as we are not introduced to the "troll" grading system until much later in the series, the percentage grading system can be assumed. I really don't think it's a big deal; if it were a big deal, JKR would have mentioned it in book one, since Harry was basically a Muggle and it would have been new to him.
Several people have also asked about the "M" rating. There are violent/sexual things that are implied that are not meant for young minds; it is a pity that we do not find the things I write/see on TV to be particularly violent-that is because we have all be desensitized. Anyway, there are things that will happen later that are violent, so the rating must be "M" from the very beginning, though the rest of the story is pretty tame.

Some (all) of you have been clamoring for more Severus/Hermione interaction-I think this interaction will be quite entertaining. :3

Chapter Thirty-Seven—Fight Club

.

The seventh-year Gryffindors didn't move from their seats. The Slytherins stood awkwardly at the side of the DADA classroom, waiting for the duel to start. Arachne glared icily from behind her desk.

"Oh, Gryffindors," she sang, "you're taking quite a while to stand. We can't start to practice without you."

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Neville, and all the other Gryffindors crossed their arms stoically.

"Sorry, Professor," Ron started, "we don't feel like risking our limbs today."

"Or any other day," Harry sneered.

Arachne rose to her feet and glared at Hermione. "If you defy me, I will be forced to get the headmaster," she hissed.

"Go ahead," Neville retorted. "Tell the headmaster that we refuse to use your Dark spells to attack our fellow students. I'm sure he'll be pleased to see you, Professor."

The deadly woman stalked out of the room with a toss of her shining yellow hair.

The Gryffindors smirked at each other. The Slytherins kept up their cold façades.

Class was finished early today.

The DA members milled about while Harry grinned mischievously from the back of the room. He stood before the extra door the Room had always given them. Nobody knew what was behind the door, not even Hermione.

Severus leaned against the wall opposite Potter. While the students were distracted, a mewing tabby cat stretched until her form elongated into that of a human.

"I have a surprise for you all." Harry beamed. Hermione and Ron exchanged the same questioning looks as everyone else.

Snape scowled. James Potter wore that same grin whenever he tormented Snivellus.

"You finally gonna tell us what's behind that door?" Seamus called out.

Harry pulled open the aged, wooden door. A cheerful, purple-haired Nymphadora and her slightly older husband, Remus, stepped out.

"Wotcher."

"Hello."

Cries of, "Professor Lupin," rang out as Ginny, Ron, and Hermione darted forward. Ginny hugged the Auror and Hermione hugged the werewolf. Ron clapped the husband and wife on the shoulders.

"What are you doing here?" Ron asked.

"To train you, of course," Dora replied impishly.

"And we've brought a few more," Remus added.

Two ginger-haired wizards covered in matching freckles entered the room.

Whoops and cheers greeted Hogwarts drop-outs Fred and George Weasley.

"Ronniekins," they joked as they ruffled their baby brother's hair. "Ginnypoo."

The less tactful students in the room stared at George's missing ear.

"Everyone, gather against the far wall," Remus directed like the patient father-figure he was.

"I take it you knew about this," Severus asked Minerva quietly as the two moved across the room to the other adults.

Minerva nodded.

Remus smiled at them, tiredly. "Severus. Minerva."

Draco Malfoy and Nymphadora Lupin stared each other down.

"Draco Malfoy," she said softly. "We have never had the pleasure to meet."

Bright grey eyes peered into bright grey eyes. "Then let us correct that immediately." He offered his hand.

The Auror smiled as she grasped the boy's hand firmly and didn't let go. "How is Uncle Lucius? Still a Death Eater?"

Draco quirked his head. "Reluctantly."

The smile widened. "Sway him and Auntie Narcissa to our side, won't you?"

She crudely slapped him on the shoulder as she walked away. Draco stumbled forward—he had never been treated so roughly before. Cousin Nymphadora was certainly a handful.

"Wotcher, everybody!" Tonks—Dora said, quieting the crowd. "From what I understand, you all only practice with each other. Kid-stuff."

Several of the DA members grumbled. They certainly didn't consider training for a war against a madman and his minions kid-stuff.

"Most of you have never been in a battle situation. In here, you're safe and you probably take turns shooting spells at one another, right?"

The kids mumbled again but nodded. Those students who had gone to the Department of Mysteries a few years ago didn't take offense. Tonks—Dora was right; they had been coddling the other students.

"That's not what's gonna happen in real life. In fact," Dora continued, "it's highly likely that you all will need to duck out of a fight."

The novice members of the DA looked aghast. "That's right," said the chipper Auror. "You may need to turn tail and run. Today, we're going to push you to the very limit so that you learn when the right time is to bow out."

"And if you don't figure it out," Remus chuckled, "we'll be sure to stop you just in time."

"Who you gonna fight, Dora?" Harry smirked.

"Hmn…" Mrs. Lupin tapped an acid green fingernail to her chin. "Ron Weasley."

"Oooooh," the twins jeered.

"The gauntlet has been thrown!" Seamus cheered.

"Uh…me?" Ron gulped.

"Ron's gonna get his arse handed to him!" the crowd guffawed.

"Come on, Ron," she encouraged with a jerk of the head towards the center of the room. The woman had gone in to Auror mode; her version of fun differed from everyone else's. She sported a slightly insane looking smile.

"She looks just like my mother when she's planning an expensive dinner party," Draco whispered to Hermione. The girl stifled a chuckle.

"Do you want me to go easy on you?" Dora asked.

Ron pulled his wand from his jeans pocket. "That would be a shame, since I won't be going easy on you."

The crowd cat-called again.

Two heartbeats later—Ron swung his wand up with a silver flash.

Dora merely stepped out the way, never losing her grin. She ran forward.

Ron startled. He stepped back and shouted, "Impedimenta!"

Dora dived and somersaulted. Squatting down, she shot Ron with a flash of red light.

The wand flew out of Ron's hand. The crowd gasped. Ron jumped in the air after it. Dora tackled him to the ground.

"Get'im, Tonks!" George cheered.

"You go, girlfriend!"

Snape leaned towards Lupin. "Your wife is having entirely too much fun."

Lupin smiled gently. "She's a strange one," he admitted. "But I like her."

Dora kneeled over Ron, straddling his stomach. "Say, 'uncle'!" she cheerfully demanded.

Ron attempted a left jab at the woman's face. She grabbed his fist but didn't notice that the boy had silently summoned his wand.

"Expelliarmus!" he shouted.

The witch gaped. Her wand clattered to the floor behind her.

Ron poked the wand into Tonks's neck. "Say, 'uncle'."

"Oh, Ron, you wouldn't Stun me at such close range!" she begged.

He hesitated then lowered his wand slightly.

Auror Lupin ducked and rolled onto Ron's wand arm.

Her leg came up.

"Halto!" Remus cried.

Ron and Dora froze like statues. Dora's knee hovered dangerously close to Ron's groin.

"The only way this fight is going to end is with someone punched in the face," the former professor explained as he turned back to the crowd. "Who do you all think would win?"

Three-quarters of the crowd shouted Mrs. Lupin. Some people hesitated before saying Ron.

"Why Dora?" Remus asked. "Mr. Campbell?"

"Besides the obvious fact that's she a trained Auror, she has Weasley's wand pinned down beneath her."

Someone added, "She also has the advantage of casting spells wordlessly."

"Ron can do that too," Hermione said. "If he actually had punched Tonks in the face, he probably could have won, since he already disarmed her."

Remus waved his arm without looking. The two opponents unfroze behind him. "I'm certainly glad Ron did not punch my beautiful wife in the face."

The DA laughed. Dora and Ron stood up.

"Good show," Dora effused as she slapped Ron on the back. "Who should fight next?" she asked the crowd. "Remus and Neville!"

Neville paled. "Me? Fight a teacher?"

"I haven't been your teacher for three years, Neville," Remus said.

"Go on, Neville," Luna encouraged as she nudged him forward.

"Show no mercy!" George and Fred exclaimed in unison.

Neville walked forward, eyeing Remus nervously. Neville clenched his wand tightly. Remus held his wand loosely. If Neville raised his wand, Remus did the same.

Neville began to sweat—this was so nerve-wracking!

"Come on, Neville!" Hermione encouraged. "I know you can hold your own!"

"I have faith in you!" Luna sang.

"Yeah! Go, Neville!" Ernie MacMillan said excitedly.

Neville sucked in a slow breath. In one quick motion he cast a wordless Expelliarmus. The wand in Remus's hand jerked forward but the force was not enough. Remus rebounded with the Jelly-Legs Jinx.

"'Ey, I thought we were aimin' to kill, we were?" someone scoffed.

Neville wobbled and lost both his focus and balance. Remus took the opportunity to stun him. Neville had already cast a Silent shield around his torso. The boy wobbled back and forth like a jack-in-the-box.

Remus cast a flurry of snowflakes out of his wand and into Neville's face. Neville fell on his back then flipped over on his stomach. He army-crawled under the icy blast of snow with his legs still wobbling uselessly behind him.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

Remus fell stiff as a board. Neville halted the Jelly-Legs Jinx and stood up just as Remus broke the curse.

The werewolf grinned apologetically at Neville. "I'm sorry, Neville, I underestimated you at first. But now I won't go easy on you!" A flash of purple light sprang from his wand.

Neville hopped out of the way. Chains clinked from the end of his wand and circled around Remus.

The man changed the chains into yarn as Neville cast a net over Remus. The net fell and slowed the werewolf down for only a moment, but it gave Neville the advantage. He charmed the net closed and hung Remus from the air. The crowd gasped.

Remus continued to curse Neville through the net. Neville was Stunned and thrown off his feet. Remus fell to the floor with a crash.

"Remus!" Dora shouted and sprinted forward.

The girls of the DA rushed to Neville's side.

Ron looked back and forth between passed-out Neville and passed-out Remus. "Blimey, I can't tell who won!"

The twins rubbed their hands together, two demonic grins on their mirrored faces. "Who's gonna be able to top a fight like that?"

Fred replied, "Professor Snape, of course."

"He should fight McGonagall," George mused.

"Professor McGonagall would win."

"Care to bet on that?" McGonagall came up behind her two trouble-making former students and clasped them on the shoulders. The Weasley boys turned as white as sheets—McGonagall was grinning and it scared the shit out of them.

"I could never harm my dear Severus. But if I could harm him, I would most certainly win."

The twins cackled. Dora led Remus gingerly to a seat on the sidelines. She looked around the room and spotted Hermione.

"'Mione, I nominate you for the next fight."

"We nominate Snape!" the twins immediately shouted and shoved their former professor forward.

Snape reeled around and glared at the two boys. They backed off, each pointing at the other.

"Yeah, let's see Snape fight," Harry said coldly. The Boy Who Lived wished he could take another shot at the useless, old bastard. Severus's face was dangerous; several students stepped back, but Harry remained stubborn and resolute.

"Hermione, how are you going to fight Professor Snape?" Luna whispered. "Aren't you two friends?"

The brunette glanced around nervously and shrugged. "I doubt anything I do will hurt him, so I won't hold back."

Severus shot Minerva a questioning glare, silently begging for advice.

Minerva nodded curtly at him. If you hold back, Hermione will kill you. Then I'll dig you out of your grave and kill you again. Don't go easy on her. She'll give you a run for your galleons.

Severus and Hermione stood across from each other. Severus stood much taller than Hermione, standing two hippogriff-lengths away. Hermione had her wand at her side, angled away from her professor. The two kept prowling until they ended up on the opposite side from which they started. The Room held its breath, everyone trying to get a good spot.

Both began to cast at the same time. Flashes and bangs filled the room; Severus and Hermione danced around one another and even ducked through the crowd. Seamus threw himself on the floor, terrified to be on the other end of Snape's wand. Blue and yellow turned into green midair. Lightning, smoke, and sparks filled the stone room.

Children screamed and dodged out of the way of two of their most formidable members.

Remus ducked out of his seat. Hermione levitated the chair and threw it at Severus before bolting to the other side of the room. The wooden chair shattered into pieces on the stone. Hermione stumbled when a Sticking Charm grazed her feet, making her toes stick to the floor.

Severus hid behind a pillar, breathing heavily. He peered around the edge; Hermione was gone.

Before he even knew what he was doing, his body whipped around and cast a Stunner, reacting to Hermione's proximity. Ron, Draco, and Luna stood in a row, all three watching the fight, heads bobbing back and forth between Snape and Granger.

Hermione dove out of the way. Fire shot out of her wand and arched towards Severus. Severus backed away and doused each flame, five in a row. Once again in the center of the room, the two dueled. Spells rebounded back into the caster's face, bouncing off of shields, the two were so close.

The two spiraled around each other like moons, each casting spells at full strength. Hermione's curls swung around her shoulders.

Severus fell on one knee as his spell caught Hermione around the neck and pulled her forward.

Dark hair fell across sparkling black eyes. Hermione's chest heaved. Her wand pointed to his heart as his wand dug into her neck.

"S-stop!" Dora stuttered. "Stop! Everyone—break it down. Who would win?"

"Snape," Roberta Gearn said. "He can do wandless magic and more wordless magic."

Ernie rubbed his chin. "But Granger's in a position to move out of the way quicker than Professor Snape could."

While the rest of the DA analyzed the fight, a separate, more interesting, conversation occurred.

"Holy snargaluff puffs!" Ginny whispered to Lavender. "Did you see that?"

"That was hot!" Lavender giggled back. "Total foreplay!"

Parvati leaned in close. "Did anyone else's toes curl?"

The three exploded with girlish giggles.

Hermione blushed, still panting. "What? Did we do something wrong?" Severus straightened at her side, swinging his jacket off of his shoulders.

"Not at all!" Tonks—Dora replied. "I wouldn't want to meet either of you in a dark alley, you know, if I were a Death Eater or something. Wotcher, everybody! Let's try groups of four! Everyone partner up and find another group to duel! And when you're not looking, one of us might just Stun you," she trilled. "So fight hard, but keep aware of your surroundings."

Hermione pulled her curly brown hair into a hair-tie. Severus tossed his black frock coat onto a coat stand while everyone else was occupied.

"That wasn't fair!" she joked. "My opponent was much tougher than Neville's or Ron's."

Severus smirked. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Miss Granger."

Hermione grinned and eyed her professor. She didn't think it was fair, that he could immediately look sexy just because he took off his coat and messed up his hair. Well, she conceded, he wasn't the one to mess it up. Maybe I'll duel him more often… she mused.

The black vest contrasted with his high-collared white shirt and pale skin. As he glided over to a dueling group, Hermione drank in his tall, thin figure.

Ginny caught Hermione's eye and winked. Hermione reeled back then turned to help Roberta's group.

.

Ron found Remus some time later. "If you and Tonks are both off work, why aren't you and Harry looking for Horcruxes and stuff?"

Remus straightened Dennis Creevey's dueling posture. "It's a school night."

Ron laughed incredulously. "You're sliding in to the mother-hen role perfectly, Remus."

The man grinned. "Thank you."