Song: I will Always Love You
By: Whitney Houston

Lyrics
Story

I do not own Sailor Moon

Arc 2: Chapter 16: Hidden Dreams.

Ami paced the apartment for the third hour in a row that evening, finding that she was restless. The sun had already started to set and the glimmer of sunlight made her shadow cast the wall. Anyone who looked at the tall, blurred image would see just as much stress in its features as one would the owner. Since the apartment wasn't big, her pacing looked like a big track around the entire thing and Makoto couldn't take it any longer as she put the book she was reading down, her finger tapping the arm of the sofa slightly confused.

"Ami?" Makoto's voice was in a questioning tone. Ami was an avid pacer when something was bugging her, and over the years, the tall brunette had gotten used to Ami's overtly tense nature in that regard. "Hello…earth to Ami." She was also used to being ignored, and often had to pry the shorter girl from her inward thoughts. She sighed, scooping the girl onto her arms and placing her on the half wall that separated the kitchen from main room.

The quizzical look in blue eyes as her reverie was torn away from her was actually quit comical, and, had Makoto not been worried for her, would have likely laughed. "Why are you pacing?" Makoto's question was quick to the point, her green eyes sure to soften, as if to convey the worry that her voice didn't betray.

"It's nothing." Ami shook her head. The thing bugging her really was a silly little thing. "Trust me; it's not a big deal." It wasn't a lie. For most people it wasn't a big deal. She brushed a stray few strands of hair behind Makoto's ear, smiling softly. "I'm just being foolish."

Makoto didn't say anything, just giving Ami a look that just screamed her perplexed state, knowing that if Ami thought something was a foolish thing, than nine times out of ten, it most certainly was not foolish in the slightest. In cases that it really was, Ami didn't pace. Whatever it was bugging her was a big deal, at least for Ami if no one else thought it to be. "Nice try." Makoto stated. After careful thought on the matter, she wasn't going to let it go. "If you considered it foolish you'd have only paced an hour, not three."

"Well, I'm not perfect. Even I have moments of second guessing a few things." Ami shrugged.
"And I would like to know these things that make you so troubled." Makoto stated yet again, her tone even.
"You'll laugh." Ami shook her head with a slight smirk on her face. "It's nothing." She deafened blowing her short hair out of her eyes.
"Yes, because you always pace around apartments as a hobby." Makoto stood upright as an amused overtook her, crossing her arms.
"I'd call it a sport." Ami joked back.
"I call it mystifying." Makoto said as she walked back to the sofa.
"Mystifying…" That had intrigued Ami, who hopped off the half wall, following Makoto. "How so?"

"I can't ever figure you out when you pace around like that. I'm almost confident that you're hiding something that is bugging you, and yet, you are acting like nothing could possibly be wrong. Pardon me while I sit here with an eyebrow raised thinking I've lost my mind since the woman I love seems to be acting distressed somehow, and yet, I can't figure out for the life of me why exactly that would be." Makoto answered in a light tone while going back to reading. She would have preferred to watch television, but nothing had been on the few channels that they had. Basic cable was so dull.

"I was with Usagi today." Ami blurted out almost all too quickly.
"Now we're getting some place." Makoto laughed, putting the book down, not caring if it slipped off the edge.
"See! I told you you'd laugh." The shorter girl squeaked out in embarrassment.
"I'm laughing at the fact that you waited until now to say that." Makoto sighed out, pulling Ami close. "Continue please."
"That's why." Ami spoke softly. "I saw Usagi today. That's the only reason."
Makoto had noticed a particular pattern as of late and it was showing itself again. "You know, you could have what they have too you know."
"What?" Ami apparently hadn't noticed the real reason behind her dilemma.

"You know, for someone as smart as you are, you clearly have over analyzed yourself into a total…" Makoto paused, standing up and started to mimic what she had seen Ami do for the past three hours none stop while she spoke. "You know what; I don't even know what this is." Her voice got quiet as she entered the bedroom, and then her voice got louder as she entered into the main room to circle around the kitchen. "But it's annoying as hell when you do this for hours on end." Making her way back to the sofa she plopped down.

Ami was trying not to laugh as Makoto flaunted how stupid it had really looked. "I didn't do it like that."
"Oh yes you did." Makoto nodded dumbly to make the point further known. "It's becoming a pattern."
"I can't help it. You get fidgety when excited; I get fidgety in deep thought. It's the same thing." The protest was very true at least.
"Yes, but it's becoming a habit." Makoto pointed out yet again. "I'm trying to figure out why."

"Don't look at me, if I knew I wouldn't be pacing." Ami sighed out. "That's the entire issue. Logic tells me one thing and..." Ami trailed off. If she and Saeko had one major fault they shared it was letting basic, common logic, get the better of them. "I told you it was stupid, I just don't see how it's possible right now and it just doesn't make sense to start that line of thinking and I-"

Makoto had placed a finger on Ami's lips. "You're rambling." Makoto laughed. Ami did that only when she was caught in the acting of wanting something, and thinking she couldn't have whatever the something was. "Now, let's try this again…what's got you all spastic, cause I know you, and you don't just skitter around like that on any normal day."

"I want a baby." Ami finally sighed out. "Usagi looks so happy all of the time, and have you seen the looks on Haruka and Michiru's face when they look at Hotaru? I want that, and it's so stupid I know, because it's not even logical, but even so…"

"I already told you…you could have that too." Makoto answered back in all seriousness. "Ami, remember, you used to talk about this all of the time…you have like a billion websites saved on parenting, pregnancy and everything, god, I'd have to be a huge idiot if I hadn't noticed them. Ever since I've known you, what's the one thing that came barreling out of your mouth before all else."

"I want a big family?" Ami's question was also Makoto's answer.

"Exactly. That's always been something you've chanted, and not in that stupid way most teens do either." Makoto smiled softly. "Look, I knew the bomb was going to drop sooner or later when you were going to say that and really strive for wanting a child. We've been looking into everything; we know this isn't an easy thing to do in the first place."

"And that's just it." Ami answered back all too emotional. "I don't want to be a woman in her thirties wondering where the time had gone. Sometimes it takes years for artificial insemination to even work and I really don't want to look back wondering where my life had gone. Sure there's always adoption, but that takes years to do as well. Haruka and Michiru got lucky with Hotaru. That was the best thing that could have ever happened out of a bad situation, but Makoto, I don't want to wake up one day finding a void for lost chances or missed time."

"I know." Makoto took Ami into her arms. What was it with women and trying to synchronize with everything in life? She never had understood that, but then again, she was with the boys for a long time until she had met Ami and the others. Sometimes things hadn't clicked, and jealousy thing was one of them. Still this was understandable, Ami had always stated the fact she wanted a big crazy family. With Usagi pregnant the wish had started to become a deeper desire within Ami and Makoto knew that. "You know me; I like the idea of a big family."

"You don't think it's too early?" Blue eyes held a level of insecurity, and a deep want for a truthful answer.
"You're talking to me here, someone who was pretty raised by a person only five years older. Early doesn't compute." Makoto nodded.
"Where do we go from here?" Ami's voice was questioning, hopeful.
"You know that better than I do." That was the simple reply.

~~~~~~One week later~~~

"Why are you in the staff room of all places?" Gai asked as he stood in the doorway.
"Coffee." Saeko was working a double and she was getting kind of tired.
"Well couldn't it wait?" His voice was almost incredulous. "Your kid showed up after all."
Saeko almost spit out the coffee she had in her mouth. "What?" Surely she had misheard.
"Ami showed up with Makoto about twenty minutes ago and went into the OBGYN offices." He shrugged. "Thought you knew."
"I most certainly did not." Saeko raised an eyebrow. "Although, that is a rather interesting bit of information."
"I thought so too." Gai was known for being a flirt and as he leaned on the table. "So, when did that happen."
"Wish I knew. This was the first I heard of any appointment." Saeko was pulled from her conversation when her pager went off.
"And I wish these things would give us a break." He rolled his eyes. "Mine's gone off six times in the past hour."
"Yes, well, I'll need to make a phone call before the new rounds start." She responded. "See you on the floor."

She walked out of the building, standing on the side, pulling out her cell phone and dialing the familiar number. It rang three times before Setsuna picked up. "One would have sounded desperate, two is rushed, four makes a person linger too long, and five is just plain rude, hence three is perfect." The smooth voice wafted through the ear piece.

"Hello to you too." Saeko knew Setsuna couldn't see her, but she had smiled none the less.
"I've waited a day, given you time to mull things over, and now I want to know…how's dinner on Friday sound?" Setsuna's voice was almost too hopeful.
"Can't on Friday, work nights all next week." Hard to get was a fun game, even at her age, although it was partly true.
"Lunch in the park then." Setsuna answered walking across to the side of the building, hanging up her phone. "You have one hour before your next shift."
"You've done your homework I see." Saeko said somewhat dryly. This was quite the surprise.
"Well, it does prove helpful to know such information." Setsuna answered holding up a picnic basket. "Shall we?" She offered her arm.
"Indeed we shall." Saeko nodded, taking the offered escort.

Life would continue on, slowly and most assuredly. With new loves finding a path and old flames watching from afar, all was right with the world. It may not always seem easy, it may not have gone according to plan, and, it wasn't out of a children's book, but it was right. The cool fall air was wafting in, calling the end of the summer. As a leaf fell to the ground, a woman kept a joint firmly plastered into her mouth, a content look on her face. She wasn't happy, but she was satisfied with what she saw.

If I
Should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go
But I know
I'll think of you every step of
the way

And I...
Will always
Love you, oohh
Will always
Love you
You
My darling you
Mmm-mm

"Are you going to stand there all day?" Rubeus scoffed, still annoyed he was hiding behind the building.
"No, I just had to be sure." Petz answered with closed eyes.
"Yeah?" Rubeus wasn't exactly interested but asked out of politeness. "And?"
"Don't really know…" Petz answered walking away. "But, this is her world. She belongs here."
"And what if she doesn't?" The retort earned a glare and a hard hit in the head.
"Don't be stupid." Petz sighed.

Taking one more look at the two figures walking across the street to go to the park nearby. "She does." Petz spoke assured before somber eyes hardened. "Even if she doesn't, she'll be fine…if she's not fine…she'll be ok." She kicked a pebble, taking one last drag of the bud, stomping it out on the concrete. "Let's go."

Bittersweet
Memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you
You need

And I...
Will always love you
I...
Will always love you
You, ooh

"How can you be sure?" Rubeus was still just a kid in his heart. "How can you just leave Sae behind! You loved her."
"I love one day, walk away the next. It's my life." She answered back void of emotion. "To get hurt, and then try again...that life is hers."
"Those are lives neither of you have to live." He shot back. "What if she won't be fine? Will you let her be hurt again?"
"Everything will work out." Petz answered softly, almost painfully.
"How the hell can you be so damn sure of everything?" the man with red hair all but yelled.

"I'm taking a gamble here." Petz used to always say that, and this time it bore repeating. "That woman, she can possibly give Saeko happiness. If she doesn't, well, then it's on Saeko. In many ways our Sae is still that thirteen year old brat from our past. The one rolling with us gutter trash thinking that it was the life for her. If she ever hangs up that lab coat for good, she's got a torn worn leather jacket with brawlers' gloves sitting in a box with her name on it. I just don't think she could ever fall that far. Not again."

"I hate thinking like that." Rubeus shuttered.
Petz just laughed. "In what way?"
Rubeus didn't answer. That question was too loaded.

I hope
life treats you kind
And I hope
you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy
and happiness
But above all this
I wish you love

And I...
Will always love you
I...
Will always love you

She pulled a metal canister from between her cleavage, and then lit a cigarette. "Can't do much for her anymore you know. She'll have to be ok, just like we had to be."

Rubeus just nodded. He wasn't sure what to say. Nothing was really a proper fit. Instead he walked on ahead, leaving Petz too herself. The woman liked to be alone. She knew how to live that life, and, like Saeko, she had her heart guarded with a fortress that hadn't been broken. She stood, pressing her hands to the smooth brick, shaking her head, instead walking down the street. There was nothing for her here.

She took a path down towards a middle school that back, many years ago, had been known for being the worst school, with all of the bad kids. The neighborhood was small, but, the school bussed in a lot of kids daily. The fence was broken, the school now closed, was something of an interest to Petz. A memory she'd never forget. She went around back, where there was an old pine tree, pulling out a rusty ladder from the bushes, and put it on the side to climb to the roof.

In her mind the bricks weren't cracked, but still freshly painted in white. The roof was smooth, lunch wrappers wafting in the wind as a few sticks were used to play games with wads of newspapers. Cigarettes were rolled with cheap, almost always stale tobacco, booze bottles often smuggled in by a coat pocket. The bleacher seats weren't dilapidated, but instead held the boys and girls as they cheered for their teams. Days of skipping class, nights filled with drug use…it wasn't exactly what one would call stable. Yet, for Petz those days were a vivid memory, and ones she'd never forget.

I, I will always love
You...
You
Darling I love you
I'll always
I'll always
Love
You..
Oooh
Ooohhh

She could almost hear the sounds of their childhood, the crying, the laughter, and everything in-between. She could almost see that girl with short hair and a beat up leather jacket looking angry at all of the world getting into fights in the grass. She closed her eyes, a hot tear rolling off her cheek. "Live well Saeko…if you ever need me, I'll be here…right where I always am, right where I'll always be."

TBC~~~~

I'll post the next chapter soon. Please leave a review.