AN...Are those crickets I hear? I hope that doesn't mean that everyone hates this story. Well anyway, you know what the little button on the bottom is for; so leave some feedback. Anyway, major angst in this chapter.

Jason sat on his couch...Carly wrapped in his arms sobbing. The world went on around him; and he felt nothing...the numbness seeping through his veins. The words people were saying; her being gone...they didn't register. He would feel it...if she was gone; he would know.

The gut wrenching sob of someone entering his house was the thing that caused him to awake from his stupor.

Carly lifted her body from his arms and into her husbands and he made his way across the room.

"Our girl" is all she got out before falling into Jason's arms.

He felt the teardrops falling down his own face as he held Alexis in his embrace. He didn't know what about it was soothing...that she was the one person who loved Avery as much as him, or that he knew this is what Avery would have wanted of him.

They stood there in the middle of the floor for a long time, people bustling in around them. Sonny burst in the door the look of panic on his face.

"Lex"

Jason slowly released her as he saw their eyes meet, Sonny shook his head in disbelief, "my baby" Alexis murmured into his chest.

Emily touched his arm, "hey, can I get you anything"

Just a simple shake of the head and back to pacing as Spinelli ran into the doorway.

"Stone Cold Sir" the young boy asked the desperation for good news evident in his voice.

When the older man could offer no reassurances Spin turned to and walked back onto the porch slumping against the bench. He felt lost.

The wail of a siren came down the street as Lucky's squad car pulled into the driveway. Everyone held their breath waiting for news; instead Nikolas and Courtney jumped out of the cruiser.

Running in they saw the dismal looks on everyone's faces and Nik spoke, "Lucky is trying to find out anything he can...I brought in a crew of my own who are down there searching right now"

"Thank you" Jason said nodding at the man.

The hours seemed to drag along; Jason more then once thought about going to the crash site. Emily had talked him out of it. There were people here that needed him...and he needed them; there was nothing he could do now but wait.

Monica and Alan had called late in the night...the kids were happily tucked into bed; not knowing that in the light of the morning their world could be ripped apart.

Sonny had convinced Alexis to at least go to the guest room and lie down; Jason was pretty sure she was doing the same thing he was...sitting in the dark, praying to anything above that would bring her back to them.

Dawn had hit and he had finally succumb to the exhaustion that wracked his body. He was sitting on the couch, propped up, his eyes falling solely because they were just too tired to hold themselves up.

The sound of a slamming car door woke him, and he opened the door before Mac even had a chance to knock.

He could tell the news was bad by the way the man looked at him, "I'm sorry Jason...we recovered a badly burned body at the site...dental records will show but"

"But, that's just a formality...that's my daughter isn't it?" Alexis asked from the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm sorry Alexis" Mac offered.

"Any questions don't hesitate to call"

Jason nodded, "thank you"

Forever he would remember the way the door slammed, the feeling of finality. Slowly he turned to Alexis who just shook her head.

"How can she just be gone..what are we going to do without her"

Tears puddled in his eyes as he tried to fight them back, "I don't know" he said her head hit his chest. He could feel the hot tears soaking his shirt...and the way his heart felt ripped from his chest.

Days seemed to drag by...until the final dental records came. They all kept a little hope alive until then. After they started to plan her funeral. Nikolas took over most of the decision making; letting Alexis and Jason grieve.

Telling the kids had been the worst part. The older kids were devastated but nothing would compare to having to tell Sydney. The little girl was inconsolable for days...locking herself in her room. When she finally came out she crawled up in Jason's arms like a baby and cried not understanding why God had to take both her Mommies.

Jason dressed in the traditional black garb; slowly tying his tie.

Flashback

"Having a bit of trouble there?" she asked dressed in that strapless yellow sun dress.

He dropped his hands and let her fuss with it, all the while his eyes locked on her. When she finished and looked up at him she smiled flirtatiously, "what?"

Playing with a tendril of hair he spoke, "do you know how much I love you"

"It can't be nearly as much as I love you"

Slowly his lips came to hers before they were interrupted, "MOMMMYYYY we are going to be Late to Jane's baptismal.

"Baptism Syd, Baptism"

"Yeah that thing"

Jason smiled as Avery rolled her eyes, "Come on, I don't think God parents are supposed to be later to this type of thing"

Her hand came to his cheek, "I never believed in fate until I met you Jason Morgan and I just want to spend a lifetime making you happy"

As his mind came back to reality he pondered her words...fate...lifetime. He had a hard time believing this was how things were meant to be.

Is it a kind of dream,
Floating out on the tide,
Following the river of death downstream?
Oh, is it a dream?

He watched the people mill through the church...reminded of how many people loved her. His family and friends had rallied around him. Monica and Alan weren't in attendance because they offered to take the kids out of town for a couple of weeks. Jason thought it better than having to be here and bury their mother. Michael, Morgan, Molly and Kristina had accompanied them. At first they hadn't wanted to but they agreed to go to help out the younger kids who would have the hardest time adjusting.

The casket was a deep mahogany wood flanked by peach colored Ecuadoran roses...her favorite. Alexis greeted people at the door, plastering on that fake smile that Jason knew she had perfected.

"Hey" came from Carly; her eyes rimmed with red.

They embraced and Jason pulled her tightly to him; afraid that if he didn't hold on, he would lose the ability to feel anything.

There's a fog along the horizon,
A strange glow in the sky,
And nobody seems to know where you go,
And what does it mean?
Oh, is it a dream?

The music started to play and everyone starting to go in and take their seats. He released Carly to Jax and waited. He was scared to go in there; scared of letting this be real. Alexis came and took his hand, and they walked in together.

Two pictures flanked either side of the dark casket. The first one was the picture that caused Sonny to realize the correlation between Avery and Alexis. Looking at it now; Jason couldn't believe they hadn't known before. The second was the black and white of her at some charity function. Her hair was pulled back as she looked to the side smiling. Her eyes were lit with happiness, so full of life. It was hard to believe that the light was gone.

Bright eyes,
Burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
How can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.

He sat in the front row...wedged between Alexis and Emily, Carly behind him her hand on his shoulder. The priests words faded out and he was left lost in his own thoughts and memories. Her laugh, the way she smiled, how she put her cold feet on him to warm them up...the Spanish lullaby she sung to their children, and suddenly it was too much to bear...so he put his head into his hands and he let himself cry silently.

Alexis sucked in a deep breath and came up to speak, "There are a million things I want to say about Avery...but most of you know that. You know that Avery was spectacular. She came to me a whirlwind and she changed my life forever. My eldest daughter was the part of me that was missing so long; the part that made me whole. But it wasn't just me she made whole...and I want to honor that too.

Nikolas, our family is one imperfect perfection...and she completed it. You were not only her cousin, but her friend and confidante. I know she said she felt a special kinship to you; and she loved you so much" she managed to get out choking back the tears.

The young man nodded fighting the tears as his mind flashed back to the finding out she was his cousin...family...family...

Is it a kind of shadow,
Reaching into the night,
Wandering over the hills unseen,
Or is it a dream?

"Courtney, Ave always said that you were the one who taught her how to be a great mom...watching you and Stefan had shown her exactly what she was missing. She use to lament that you were the un-jaded version of her...the one she hoped she could teach her kids to be. She was so grateful that you came into her life"

Courtney cried into her husband's shoulder, and her mind drifted to Jake's and Girl's Night Out...Avery's smiling face as she swayed to the music on the jukebox. And she wondered how they were going to do it with her gone.

"Carly...I know we have an interesting relationship but you were Avery's best friend...her partner in crime. There were times where she would totally be stressed out and you would do something crazy to make her laugh again"

The tears came in steady flows now and Carly smiled...her best friend, who would have thought. And when she closed her eyes she could almost see her there in her gold dress at their club opening. It didn't make sense...how someone like Avery could be taken from them.

There's a high wind in the trees,
A cold sound in the air,
And nobody ever knows when you go,
And where do you start,
Oh, into the dark.

"Sonny...my Sonny. Avery knew it from the start, her playing matchmaker. When I asked her later; she laughed...and said she finally got the mom and dad she always wanted. You became her father in her heart Sonny...and that was something she held her with her forever"

Mobsters aren't supposed to cry; Sonny thought wiping the corners of his eyes. But his girl was gone; she was as much his as his biological kids. He remembered her telling him that she wished he was her dad...he hoped that she knew he was...and he would always be.

"There were four people that were more important to Avery than anything in the world. Her children Sydney, Samuel and Natasha...and her husband, Jason...you were her soul mate, the yin to her yang. She always believed fate brought you two together...she told me she walked into the Metro Court and saw love in two blue eyes. You made her happy Jason, you fulfilled her dreams, her hopes, her expectations...and you made her feel more loved than anything in the universe. Hold that with you...in the eyes of your children, because in the end that is what she would have wanted you to do"

Jason heard the words, her eyes dancing in his head. The day in the Metro Court; his heart held onto her for dear life, their first kiss in the woods, the night she agreed to become his wife...it was a lifetime flashing before his eyes and he prayed for the strength to go on without her.

Bright eyes,
burning like fire.
Bright eyes,
how can you close and fail?
How can the light that burned so brightly
Suddenly burn so pale?
Bright eyes.

(Simon and Garfunkel – Bright Eyes)

Her eyes adjusted to the light...and she wondered if it was possible for her whole body to hurt. Her hand came to her stomach in an instant and she hoped her baby was okay.

The light flashed and she squinted to get used to it. Suddenly a person walked in.

"Well Miss Morgan, how are we feeling?

She opened her mouth to respond but couldn't make out the words. He came closer and smiled at her, "need some more sleep then?" he said not waiting for a response; simply sticking a needle in her arm..

Suddenly everything went black.