Thank you all so much, I am happy that the last chapter was all you had hoped for in this story :)
So, at the last minute, I decided that this chapter needed an extra scene. So, the first scene was written months ago, but I added the next scene few days ago. Hope you like it!
There are 4 chapters left after this. It felt like I was posting this fic forever, lol, can't believe it's finally coming to an end. But, I have 5 more fics written and ready to post and I am working on a 6th, so there is more Han and Leia to come! I must admit, none of them are as good as Dark Matters, but I hope you will read and enjoy them anyway :)
Thank you!
###
"There you are."
Han looked up from his stool in the galley to find Leia standing in the doorway. "You're early," he observed, noting her sober expression.
"I need to talk to you."
He winced in response. His entire life, those words had never been a good omen. "Okay." With a motion of his hand, he beckoned her and held his arms wide.
She came forward into the circle of his arms and hugged him tightly. Han's stomach gnawed nervously as he slipped his arms around her slim body.
With apprehension, he asked, "What is it?"
"Master Yoda says I'm ready."
Taking her words in for a moment, he stayed still and silent. Of course, he had known this day was coming; it was the culmination of their visit to Dagobah. But, it filled him with dread. His arms tightened around her. She suddenly felt smaller in his embrace.
"When do you want to leave?" His voice sounded too loud to his own ears.
Her tone was very quiet. "How about the day after tomorrow?"
"All right." He closed his eyes and breathed in her scent. He was scared for her. He knew he should be scared for himself as well, and perhaps at some point he might be. But, most important was that Leia would be in serious danger. And he wasn't sure how much help he could be.
She drew back to look at him but stayed within his arms. Her eyes lowered to his chin. "Han, when we get to Coruscant…" She was visibly nervous. "I have to go into the Imperial Palace alone."
` Her eyes found his again while he was still processing her words. He blinked in shock. "Are you kidding?"
"No," she answered quietly. "You can't go with me."
He stood indignantly and Leia backed up in haste. "The hell I can't!"
She sighed through her nose and grimaced but remained composed. "I can't worry about you during this."
Disbelief wrenched through him. His mouth hung open momentarily. "I think I can manage to take care of myself."
"Han," she said, and he noticed she always said his name when she was trying to placate him. It irked him further.
"Leia."
Her hands rose to his shoulders. "You don't understand. Vader and the Emperor are very powerful. The Force is the only defense against them."
His hands angled to his hips and he set his jaw stubbornly. "You're not going without me."
Her serene expression slipped to sadness. "I'm prepared to die if that is my destiny. But, I don't want to take you with me."
The sorrow in her eyes tugged at his emotions, but it did not deter his resolve. "I don't want either of us to die," he gritted between his teeth.
Her hands dropped from his shoulders to cross in front of her chest. "I can't go unless you agree to let me follow my path alone. If not, Luke's fate has been decided."
His eyes squinted down at her. It was cruel to use Luke against him. "Well, then, Chewie and I'll just go after him."
She raised an eyebrow. "Now you're just being spiteful."
"No, I'm being practical."
Leia sighed in frustration. "Do you remember how Master Yoda picked you up out of the sinksand? Vader and the Emperor could choke you to death without lifting a finger. Do you understand that?" She backed away slightly.
Han tried to form a strong argument but was at a sudden loss. He felt an abrupt tug at his holster and before he could glance down, his blaster flew into Leia's hand. His mouth dangled open and he looked from his empty holster to where the blaster was gripped in her small fingers.
Her eyes softened at his shocked expression. "It's that easy," she said quietly.
His heart was pumping far too quickly as he was gripped by the realization that Leia was right. And he simply hated it. He leaned back against the counter and sighed deeply, feeling defeated.
She must have seen it on his face because she came forward, placed the blaster on the counter, and put her arms around him. "I know you want to protect me. And I love that about you. But, sometimes, you have to let me fight my own battles. And this is my battle, whether we like it or not." Her head bowed to rest against his chest.
With another sigh, his arms went around her, cradling her gently. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek atop her head. He couldn't begin to find words to express how he felt about the situation. Letting Leia wander into the Imperial Palace by herself, to face the Emperor and Darth Vader, might just be the hardest thing he would ever have to do. Would he ever see her again?
"I love you." The words drifted up from beneath his cheek.
"I love you, too," he croaked then cleared his throat. They remained in place and Han wondered if Leia could hear the way his heart hammered.
"I want you to come with me until we reach the Palace. Then wait for me on the Falcon." Her voice grew solemn. "Hopefully, you can pick us up on the roof, like Chewie picked us up last time."
His throat was too constricted for him to respond.
"Thank you for understanding," she whispered.
Understanding? Acceptance was more like it. He swallowed around the bitter taste in his mouth. After everything they had gone through, all the lost time and misunderstandings…and now, he might lose her. And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.
###
With Leia snuggled against him, wrapped in the safety of his arms, Han was very aware of the somber, unsettling mood that cast a dark pall in the air around them. He didn't need to be a Jedi to sense it.
He didn't want to think about the possibilities, about tomorrow. That this might be their last night together, that all their struggles to finally be together would be for nothing and she would be slaughtered by Vader and the Emperor. And Luke would remain lost…
Their lovemaking had been intense, frantic and desperate. Both were afraid it might be the last time. Neither had spoken since they had settled in cozy silence, his knees spooned behind hers, both arms enveloping her torso. Leia's hands gripped tightly at his arms, nails digging slightly, as if afraid he might disappear if she loosened her grasp.
When she spoke, her voice was soft and wistful. "I wish we hadn't wasted three years fighting and misunderstanding each other."
He couldn't disagree with that. With no response to the thought, he kissed the back of her head, inhaling the clean, light scent of her hair. Was it possible to long for someone when they were right there in your arms?
"If only we could go back to the moment we first met and do it all over again," she continued. "And see past each other's fears to who we really are."
The thought was heartbreaking in its impossibility. He sought to lighten the moment. "Never woulda happened," he said low near her ear. "You were too stubborn."
"Oh, yes," she said in a knowing voice. "It was just me."
"Glad you recognize that now."
One hand let go of his arm to slap at it playfully, then reattach with a bit less fervor. "And that is the attitude that kept me at arms' length for three years."
"Arms' length? You were a smashball court's length away."
A light, breathy laugh escaped her. "That's because you were nasty and obnoxious."
"That's cause you were bossy and bitchy."
"Bitchy?"
"Yeah, bitchy." He placed a light kiss on her ear to soften his words.
"You wouldn't have thought that if I were a man," she said defensively.
"I would've if you were a bitchy man." He couldn't help but laugh from deep in his belly.
He could hear her suppressing a laugh of her own. "This is why I found you impossible."
"Why?"
"Because you had a smart answer for everything."
"What can I say? I'm a fast thinker."
"Hmm. Well, it's your lack of thinking that usually got us into trouble."
"Yeah, but then it got us out of trouble."
"Sometimes."
"All the time."
"Ah, there's that overblown ego. I've been wondering where it went."
"Don't worry, Sweetheart. It was just taking a nap."
Her head shifted from side to side in a mixture of amusement and frustration.
He chuckled near her ear and kissed her head again, a bit more lingeringly than before. "So, what would happen if we met again?" he asked, deciding to indulge in her little fantasy.
"Hmmm…" she trailed off thoughtfully. "I'm sure I still would've yelled at you on the Death Star. You were making things so difficult."
"Hey," he called with false sharpness in his voice.
She turned in his arms to face him, a thoughtful expression tensing her features. "But, on the Falcon, I would have dismissed your mercenary attitude." She examined his face for a moment, as if memorizing him. "I would have told you that you're not as tough and uncaring as you pretend to be."
He tried to picture this scenario in his mind. "I never would've admitted you were right. At the time, you really weren't."
"But, you had a soft heart underneath that brash attitude, even then. That's why you came back to the battle."
His eyes lowered reflexively and he gave a slight shrug before looking back up at her. "I didn't want you and Luke getting killed."
"Like I said, soft heart." She smiled gently.
He smiled back, allowing the sentiment to settle and grow comfortable within him. He struggled a moment with his responding words. "I never knew people like you and Luke existed. Not really, anyway." His eyes remained on her shoulder and he felt open and vulnerable, a feeling that only Leia had ever seemed to stir in him.
She was silent for a long moment and he could feel her eyes on him. "How so?"
Eyes still averted, he forced the explanation out. He wanted to be as trusting with her as she now was with him, even if it was difficult for him. "People I've seen…known…not the best people. Not people you really trust at your back. When you have to depend on them, you hope for the best. That's what I've mostly known."
Her hand came up to trace the line of his jaw with gentle fingers. "Until Chewie?" she asked softly.
"Yeah." He glanced at her and found her expression so full of caring and love…it overwhelmed him and he looked away again.
Her lips pressed to his in a tender kiss that moved him more than any words. Her fingertips brushed down his spine, light and warm, and the bright brilliance of his love for her resounded in his chest, a pleasurable burning. Frightening yet soothing at once.
He moved over her, skin on skin, pressed tightly, and this time, it was slow and sweet, and filled with emotion.
