Miracles Out of Nowhere
Chapter 35
His words were like gunshots in Susan's head; hitting her subconscious with a wave of fear, sending her backwards away from him. She couldn't be here, this couldn't be real. Oh, but she thought it had been. For one shining moment, she'd thought she'd escaped. What had it been? When had they gotten her back? If they had ever let her go. Maybe the whole of this year had been a fabrication by Kovarian. To see how desperate a Timelord would become, see what lengths they could go to. Susan's chest rose and fell as she simply stared at him; at the grandfather she had not seen in over a year. It wasn't him, her mind screamed at her.
The Doctor meanwhile, was having his hearts broken in a way he didn't think they ever would be. Hate, hate he could deal with, had dealt with from his granddaughter- they'd worked past it, talked about it but this was something else. This was fear. His big sad eyes, watched as she scrambled away from him, like a wild animal cornered by its predator. What had they done to her?
He stepped forwards, a natural reaction but the response from Susan was instantaneous as her breathing hitched. He no longer noticed anyone else in the room, let alone the poison coursing through his veins as he stepped down the small steps, using the cane to aid him. He was playing no games, putting on no airs. He was vulnerable, and so was she. The Doctor tried again.
"Susan?" He asked, stepping closer, and Susan shook her head fiercely, not wanting to be anywhere near him. "Susan, it's me…"
"No." She said with resounding pain that the Doctor stopped his stride forwards to stare again at her. What did she mean? Susan closed her eyes tightly, trying to wipe the image from her eyes and the Doctor watched tears fall from beneath closed eyelids. Susan shook her head as she talked to herself. "No, no, he's not…he's not."
"Susan?" The Doctor didn't know what to do, the confusion etched on his face as he fought to understand where she was coming from, why she was saying what she was saying. If he'd focused on it enough, he knew anger would come boiling to the surface for Kovarian, the woman responsible for this; for the state of his granddaughter.
"What's wrong with her?" River asked from the side, staring at Susan with wide eyes as the woman who had taught her to run, was cowering back against a table, eyes shut, and tears streaming down her face. The Doctor elected to ignore River's words.
"Susan, it's your grandfather." He stopped down, so he was facing her, close to her, trying to help. Susan's eyes fluttered open slowly, wishing that the image would fade, that he would go away. But he was still there, still taunting her because she couldn't save him. He was dead.
"Go away." She whispered at him, deadly serious and the Doctor's mouth fell open slightly against him wish, forming a small 'o' of surprise. Go away? No, no, he'd come all this way, he'd come to find her, lived this long to see she was okay- which she wasn't. He was never leaving her, never again. Why on Earth would she want him to? He was about to respond when she spoke again. "You're not real."
The shattering realization crashed over the Doctor as he had the epiphany. You're not real. Susan didn't think he was real. He paled as he stepped forwards again but this time Susan's shock was over and she backed away, in another direction so that the table did not block her any longer, and she stood up, grasping something in her pocket. The Doctor stood fully up again, watching her intently.
"Susan, I am real." He implored to her. She had to realize that, didn't she? Susan shook her head firmly, her mind set. This was a trick, a trap and she had to defend herself. Sooner or later it would go like it always did with her dreams; he would leave her in the dark. Or he would change. Susan grasped the glass shard in her pocket, ready.
But the Doctor didn't know about the weapon; all he saw was his granddaughter, tears down her face with raggedy clothing and a belief that he wasn't real. He shot a look over to River, hoping that the woman would help, she knew Susan more. Or maybe that would make it worse- after all, Susan had only found out Melody was River judging from everything. Either way, the woman stayed silent. He returned his gaze to Susan.
"No. No, you're not, this is a trick." Susan said tightly, and the Doctor strode forwards, wanting her to snap out of it, and to prove him real. But Susan's hand shot out of her pocket and she brandished the glass shard with a rag hilt, directly at him. He paled, and stepped back unconsciously, staring from the weapon to Susan's eyes, knowing she would use it. Why would she use it? Why was she this? Susan was overwhelmed, pointing the shard at his chest. "I don't want you any closer." Her voice shook but she tried to be brave.
"Susan…" He whispered again in sadness.
"You…are not real." She stated, as if trying to convince herself as well. That was the Doctor's in.
"Susan, I am real, it's me! Okay? It's me." The Doctor told her, trying to make her believe him but the years told her different. Unfortunately, the Doctor wasn't a patient man. He threw up the sonic cane, catching it again before pointing it in Susan's vicinity as the glass shard was magnetized; thrown to the floor and out of harm's way. Susan stumbled back, losing her footing and the Doctor darted forwards to catch her, and they both tumbled down as the poison made itself known again. But he didn't care.
Susan panicked as she felt the o-so familiar arms wrap themselves around her but she had to keep her resolve, not give Kovarian what she wanted. Susan fought against the Doctor but he held on with surprising strength, fuelled by his wish for her to just believe him. She hit him away, batted against his chest but he held on.
"Susan, Susan, Susan, I'm real. I promise you, I'm real." He told her, over and over like a mantra as she struggled against him, desperate to get away.
"No!" Susan cried; hitting her small and weak fists against him, everything spent as the tears rolled down her cheeks. The Doctor felt her go slightly limp before holding her at arms lengths, looking her over. The tear filled eyes were so tired.
"Oh, Susan, what have they done to you?" He whispered, forlornly. Susan lent away from his gaze, not wanting to be near him but he held her firm.
"You're not real, you can't be." There was the shaking of her head, the movement as she clenched her jaw that truly told the Doctor how brave she was trying to be. This wasn't just an experience she wanted to avoid….this was trauma. It was hurting her to see him. He wanted to hold her close, make her feel safe, so offered her the most reassuring smile he could as she held her resolve.
"That's never stopped me before." He joked lightly, knowing that it might just take that one look. She just needed to open her eyes.
"You're dead." She whispered finally and the Doctor was confused at that. Dead? Oh, of course. That's what they had made her watch, or created for her. She had spent however long without him, and told he was dead, that he wasn't coming to get her. She must have lost all faith in him.
"Not yet, I'm not." He said softly back, and she wriggled again, not wanting to fall for the ploy that she thought it was. But he held fast, both of them kneeling on the floor, Susan leaning away but the Doctor's grasp on the upper part of her arm, willing her to just look at him. And she did, opening her eyes and craning her head back over to look at him.
"You didn't come." She said simply, as if a confession she had been holding inside. The Doctor wanted to run away, run away from the granddaughter he had failed so badly, but he was rooted to the spot, holding firm. He wanted to give an excuse, and started to but he couldn't.
"I- no, I didn't." There was no excuse. He'd promised and he hadn't been able to find her.
"You're not real. He would have. He promised." Susan was sure of that. She had had faith in him. There was only one thing that would have stopped him from going after her, of finding her. So what if he hadn't been able to find her in Kovarian's clutches? What about the months and months stuck in the streets, trying to protect Melody? Where had he been? Dead. That was the answer. He had to be dead.
"I tried." He told her, solemnly. That made anger boil up and Susan wrenched her arms from his grip before he could do anything about it, and scrambled away and up so she stood away from him.
"Get off of me. I don't want you to touch me." She seethed at the stranger. The Doctor recoiled, hurt, getting to his feet as well but stumbling. He was wasting time, he should be figuring out about Amelia, and River and what had happened to Rory and to Amy. But he could only stumble, using his cane to help him up as Susan turned around, preparing to leave. No. He couldn't let her leave and bellowed after her.
"Arkytior!" He roared after her, voice full of sadness and Susan stopped at the use of that name. She slowly turned, her face streaked with tears, breathing hard as she stared at him.
"You cannot be him!" She said, but her resolve was faltering because it was him. But it couldn't be. The Doctor had gotten her attention but he needed to keep it. He knew it hurt, she probably thought it better off if he really was dead, but he didn't care. He gave a grunt, taking a few steps with the cane by his side.
"I am. I don't know how to prove it to you, but I'm not dead. I'm here, I'm real, Susan." He implored, and Susan adjusted her stance, wary but more vulnerable, more open. He just needed to keep talking.
"How can you be?" She asked him.
"Kovarian tricked you." He told her implicitly and Susan recoiled as if the name stung.
"I know that!" She replied quietly with a hint of anger.
"No, not with me being alive, but with me being dead!" He said, trying to get across his point. Even he was getting confused by it all. But Susan's eyes widened. Because he never rambled. In all the dreams, all the ploys…he had never, ever rambled. Not like that. And he did. The Doctor rambled. He talked as if it was a plan when in fact he didn't have one.
"You're not dead?" She whispered, not daring to believe it. He gave a small smile.
"If I was, if I was just a trick or a trap, then how could I tell you about that little girl? Black coloured locks and a little red dress, with a stuffed bunny clasped in her hands. I used to take her walks in silver forests with red skies. A little girl…who dreamt of the stars." He told her, the speech soft and quiet yet it rang so loud in her ears, the memories of Gallifrey in her mind's eye as a familiar calmness, a state that always overcame her when thinking of her home planet. She faltered, looking at him, really looking at him.
"I don't know." She whispered, stock still, her mouth agape but no breath coming out of it.
"Arkytior. It's me." He told her, and she stumbled forwards, as the realization and acceptance that it was him rolled over her, and he moved forwards, knowing that she believed him. He wanted to laugh and dance and hug her very tightly but the poison was dangerously close to, well, everything. He needed more time, but he was quickly running out.
"Grandfather." She whispered, not knowing anything about any poison but only that it was him. More tears fell as she felt exhausted, aching all over but she didn't care as she moved, running over to him like something out of a movie and wrapping her arms around her neck. The Doctor's body protested but neither Timelord complained as the Doctor gave a great gasp and buried his face in her shoulder.
"Susan." He whispered in relief as he hugged her.
"Oh! Grandfather!" And she wept freely, letting all the emotions out as she clung onto him.
"I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry." He breathed into her shoulder, and she pushed away, staring at him with wide eyes, taking in all of his features. Oh, he was alive.
"I thought you were dead. Melody- Kovarian-" She rambled and the Doctor nodded, sadly.
"I know. I know." Susan took a breath, and finally remembered what was going on. Funny, a few minutes ago seemed like centuries ago. Time, my fickle friend. She looked around at River or Melody, and at the Nazi Hotel, then at Amy.
"What's the matter with Amy?" She asked. The Doctor tapped a finger against his nose.
"It's not her…" He told Susan, and knew he had to take control of the situation, so he span around, mask going up and a smile on his face but his eyes held stone, ready to take on the imposter as he stalked towards her. "Amelia Pond, judgment death machine. Why am I not surprised?" He held up his cane, the ball at the end opening to reveal and appliance very similar to his screwdriver. "Sonic cane."
"Are you serious?" River asked, piping up for the first time since the reunion of granddaughter and acceptance of the grandfather. The Doctor held the cane out and at Amy, scanning her. Susan stayed silent, not really knowing how to feel or interject. It was all too much, like she'd been dunked in an ice bath.
"Never knowingly. Never knowingly be serious." The Doctor replied smoothly to River. "Rule twenty seven. You might want to write these down. Susan, do you have a pen?" He asked, lightly as he was addressing River. He wanted to make sure Susan felt included, not alienated or removed as if just an observer. But he had to check the results, and looked at the cane.
"Oh, it's a robot. With four hundred and twenty three life signs inside. A robot worked by tiny people. Love it." He said, glancing back at Susan before his eyes trained once more into Amelia's false gaze. But how do you all get in there, though? Bigger on the inside?" The Doctor checked the cane again. "No, basic miniaturisation sustained by a compression field. Ooo. Watch what you eat, it'll get you every time."
Susan widened her eyes in realization. It wasn't Amy at all- though to be fair, the blue beam of light from the mouth of the ginger, had sort of given that away. A robot with a compression field? That was high tech. Very hard to do. The Doctor peered at robot Amelia.
"Amy, if you and Rory are okay, signal me." She must have done something because the Doctor flicked the cane again and gave a nod of his head. "Thanking you."
Suddenly the Doctor convulsed, crying out and yelling in pain as he fell down, using his cane to maneuverer himself on the floor, as if trying to walk the pain off; only sideways. Susan crouched down, not understand what was going on but he was moving to quick, a frenzy of lopsided limbs as he used the cane and his other arm to sort of prop himself up.
"Argh! I'm so sorry. Leg went to sleep. Just had a quick left leg power nap." He explained, not meeting Susan's gaze. Great, she thought he had died, her convinced her she was alive…and now he was promptly going to die again. Just wonderful. He managed stop, scrabble upright as Susan's arms just hung mid-air, watching intently if he were to fall again. What had Melody said? She'd already killed him. When had she killed him? Susan thought with dread, but she focused on her Grandfather again as he whirled over down onto the steps of the stage, feigning happiness. "I forgot I had one scheduled. Actually, better sit down. I think I heard the right one yawning."
Melody suddenly tried to make a break for it, running to the entrance and Susan doubled back, going after her but not before the robot Amelia had gotten Melody first with its beam, making her let out wail of pain. Susan wheeled back round, splaying out a hand.
"Stop it! Stop hurting her now!" She said with fury and the robot Amelia stopped, Melody hanging limp as Amy turned to face Susan.
"You're the Doctor's granddaughter. Why would you care? She's the women who kills your Grandfather." The Amy stated in an impassive voice. It was Amy's voice so Susan supposed it must work like a filter…someone else was addressing her, this was no computer programming. Susan held fast.
"So you know who I am." She tried to state, bravely, but it fell flat.
"He's dying." Amy told her back and Susan bit her lip. So he was. Dying, but not dead.
"Aren't we all?" She replied to the robot, calmly, without any hint of emotion, the Doctor watching the exchange carefully, taking his hat off slowly as he watched them both.
"The Doctor will die by the woman known as Melody Pond."
"To be fair though, I'm not dead yet." The Doctor interjected with a grin, and the robot's eyes turned to face the Timelord who was sat down. "And, at least I'm not a time travelling shape shifting robot operated by miniaturised cross people, which, I have got to admit, I didn't see coming." He pointed his cane at Melody as Susan veered out of the way of the cane's trajectory. "What do you want with her?"
"She's Melody Pond. According to records, the woman who kills the Doctor." Susan hated hearing this, every time it was stated it came from unforgiving lips, or this time; robotic ones. Kovarian had said it, Melody had said it, and now this robot with 423 life signs inside of it, was telling her the girl she had saved, would kill the man who raised her.
"And I'm the Doctor. So what's it to you?" He asked them. Susan kneeled down as the robot spoke.
"Throughout history, many criminals have gone unpunished in their lifetimes. Time travel has responsibilities." Robot Amy told them all as the Doctor gave a laugh at the end, Susan taking his hand and rubbing a consoling thumb on the back of his palm.
"What? You got yourselves time travel, so you decided to punish dead people?" He said, using reductio ad absurdum; extending the robot Pond's argument to ridiculous proportions. It was ridiculous.
"We don't kill them. We extract them near the end of their established timelines."
"And then what?" Susan asked, because she would never let them hurt Melody.
"Give them hell." Both the Doctor and Susan's faces darkened but the Doctor stayed still not able to get up, but Susan lunged to her feet.
"Don't you dare." Susan said darkly, and felt the prod of the sonic cane against her arm, and she sat down again, the Doctor looking at the Robot Amelia once more, tone scathing.
"I'd ask you who you think you are but I think the answer is pretty obvious. So, who do you think I am, huh?" He held out his arms. "My granddaughter." He held out his arms, before pointing the cane at the stabilised Melody. "The woman who killed the Doctor. It sounds like you've got my biography in there. I'd love a peek."
"Our records office is sealed to the public. Foreknowledge is dangerous."
"Yeah, well, I'll be dead in three minutes. There isn't much foreknowledge left." He argued back.
"Sorry, can't do that." Susan jumped back to her feet at the robot's words, not accepting that. She went over to the Robot Amelia and looked t straight in the eyes, just as the Doctor had done. She spoke calmly, wanting to get answers, not an argument.
"What about family? Yeah? Sophisticated operation like you, family has to have privileges or something." She said, and held her breath. For a moment, she thought it hadn't worked, but then it spoke again.
"Say access personal records, the Doctor." Susan smiled at the Scottish voice, and something told her whoever said the words was reluctant. She looked back at the Doctor, stepping back, then at Amy.
"Access personal records, the Doctor."
"Records available." It sounded more robotic now, and Susan knew she was talking to the records, the core programming and not the Captain. The Doctor struggled to his feet and Susan went to help him, putting an arm around him as he spoke to the records.
"Question. I'm dying. Who wants me dead?" He faltered, with effort. Susan could have told him that, but the records answered pretty promptly.
"The Silence."
"What is the Silence? Why is it called that? What does it mean?" He asked in a flurry of questions, making sure to waste no time.
"The Silence is not a species. It is a religious order, or movement." The impassive face of Pond said back, and Susan spoke up, interjecting with her own knowledge in a quiet voice into her Grandfather's ear.
"They say that silence will fall when the question is asked." She told him, and he moved his head as much as he could, frowning at her.
"What question?"
"I don't know." Susan said sadly, thinking back to the rubbish they had spouted whenever she had asked. The Doctor nodded twice, before going back to the records.
"What question?" He asked the machine.
"The first question. The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight."
"Yes, but what is the question?" He asked, frustrated, and both he and Susan listened hard before the Amy opened her mouth and spoke…
"Unknown." The Doctor deflated.
"Oh. Well, fat lot of use that is, you big ginge. Call yourself a Records-" He was about to insult Scotland next when the kidneys failed, and he clutched at his chest, Susan trying to help him up but he slumped the floor, his cane falling with a clatter as he yelled out. Susan couldn't help him.
"Grandfather!" She yelled, kneeling next to him and grabbing his sonic cane for safe keeping as he tried to be strong.
"Argh! Kidneys are always the first to quit. I've had better, you know." Susan let out a whimper that could have been a laugh under any other circumstance. He rested his head against the marble floor, lying down and Susan stroked his hair, tears once again pricking at her eyes, even though she thought she had run out.
Then the forcefield around Melody turned red again.
Melody screamed as the searing pain hit her and Susan was on her feet, marching at the robot Amelia, as the Doctor too looked at it for help. Rory and Amy were inside they have to do something.
"Let her go! Now!" Susan roared at the impassive face of Amelia Pond.
"Amy. Rory. Amy. Can you hear me?" Susan turned back at the weak cries of her grandfather, her loyalties torn. Come on Pond. Please.
"What do we do? This is me. This is me actually talking. What do we do?" It was Amy, Susan whipped her head back as the panicked tones came through the mouth of the robot. The Doctor was trying to crawl and Susan was trying to help, get her arms under his armpits in the hopes of hoisting him to his feet.
"Just stop them. She's your daughter. Just stop them." He told Amy, voice both weak from dying and fierce from conviction.
"How? How? How?" The robot echoed back.
"Just do it!" The Doctor shouted out, spit flying. He was too stubborn, refusing Susan's help as she tried in vain. No, no, it cannot end like this. Susan was fighting back a break down but carried on, having to help him but it was no use as Melody's screams echoed in her ears.
"Please, Amy!" Susan yelled back as she tried to help her dying Grandfather. Everything was going oh so wrong.
Now reviews:
MandyTrimm: Love your writing as well! So glad you love this!
dar40mn: I don't know exactly how I would fit River into the Day of the Doctor, but interesting!
Copperdragon2: Ha Ha! Hope you mind is still intact after this chapter! And yes, the Time Agency is who Jack used to work for before Torchwood. It seemed a logical place to get hold of a Vortex Manipulator.
thegirlwhowaswholocked: Yes! Me too! I will probably do that episode, but no promises.
NorthernMage: Hope it lived up to the feels and the hug! Angst, and yeah, they need to get this out of the way and then it's going to be Question Time- something which will hurt them both I reckon.
AuthorLouise: Not sure. I think her friendship will count, but as for the Library. River is River, and Susan has no foreknowledge of that event.
Hoping you all like this. Sorry for the late update- this week has been hectic and it's my birthday today so I was a little busy! I'd love to know what you think!
H x