A/N: I can't believe that this story has been nominated for a plethora of Sunflower Awards! Best Edward, Alice, Bella, Emmett, Angst, All Human, Drama...my head is spinning. Long Tall Texan for Best Fluff and Best title. Isle of Enchantment for Best Carlisle and Best Vampire Story. Totteacher and I would love if you'd head over and posted a vote...we've been nominated but never won before. Thank you to the readers who nominated!
I've just finished my Jasper Outtake for the Tsunami Relief Appeal. Around 300 authors are participating...so please make a donation and get yourselves some fabulous stories! The outtake is the back story on Jasper...and how his plan to nab Alice came about. You should see how he manipulates Rosalie! Hehe. He's so naughty.
Links for the above are on my profile! Thank you so much to Toni my pre-reader, who has been so wonderfully patient and my readers new and old. Without your kind words I'd have given up ages ago. I was having issues with fan fiction last chapter...so apologies if I didn't reply to your review, but I LOVED them all!
Disclaimer: Twilight ain't mine. I just like to run and run and bang pots with a spoon like Rupret the Monkey Boy. LOL.
CHAPTER 35 – UNEXPECTED VISITATIONS
APOV
"Hey honey, where are you?" Jasper asked as I stood in the long line at the supermarket checkout, phone in one hand, shopping in the other.
"I'm at the store. Edward needed some Advil and tea. Why?"
"Ah that explains it. I just got off the phone with your brother...but he wasn't home when he called," he blurted.
"He wasn't home? Oh fuck! Where exactly was he?" I demanded, flying into a sudden panic as I silently willed the line to move faster.
"He went to see Bella, but she wasn't home."
"Oh Jesus! Is he okay? Is he on his way home now?" I asked as I growled in frustration, feeling as though I was in the slowest moving line in history.
"I think so. Alice, he was pretty upset. He ran into Rosalie while he was there. Apparently she's been trying to get in touch with Bella."
"Why on earth would Rosalie want to speak to Bella after what happened?" I asked as I watched the woman three people in front of me try three different credit cards before one finally worked, only to ask for her groceries to be delivered. "Come on!" I mouthed, seething silently.
"Alice, that bitch has decided to put the heavy on Bella to get the article from her. Said she'd contact her lawyers if Bella didn't have it to her by Friday."
"She what?" I shrieked, not caring in the least that I was attracting the attention of the people lined up behind me along with the red headed, pimply faced checkout operator who looked all of fifteen. I cleared my throat and turned away, covering the phone and my mouth with my free hand. "Jasper, please tell me you found out where Bella is."
"I did...Riley gave me the details."
"Oh thank God for that! Where is she?"
"Uh, Riley made me promise not to tell anyone. He wanted to help, but he felt bad that he got even this involved since he spent most of last night chewing Emmett out for interfering," he confessed.
"But Jasper," I whined, feeling disappointed that he didn't feel as though he could trust me.
"Alice, I know you. You won't be able to keep this information from your brother for more than five minutes if he begged you to tell him. Besides, from what Riley said, he and Emmett are going to be seeing Bella for Thanksgiving, so I don't think it's such a good idea for Edward to turn up there unannounced."
"I don't like it but...I guess you're right." I said with a hint of frustration in my voice, the loss of control over this situation making me feel entirely useless. But, as I thought about it, I had to admit I admired Jasper for being so loyal. Riley had made him keep a promise, and Jasper's commitment to upholding that only reinforced what a good man he was in my eyes. It didn't mean I had to like it though.
Finally reaching the checkout, I shoved the tea and pills at the girl impatiently, ignoring her pissy expression.
"So when are you planning on seeing her?" I asked as I threw a ten on the counter and grabbed my purchases before racing toward the exit of the mall.
"It's a bit of a drive, so I'll rearrange my schedule and head out now so I can be back in time for the holiday. You do still want the three of us to have Thanksgiving dinner together at my place, right?" he asked anxiously.
"Of course. I'll ask Edward, and if he agrees, we'll get some food in tomorrow," I said, hoping that Edward would not only join us, but prepare the meal as well, deciding it would be a good way to distract him from all his troubles. During our night at Edward's, we sat up and talked, and Jasper had told me that his mother had gone to Houston to spend Thanksgiving with some distant cousins of hers, and with his other work commitments he decided to stay in Seattle. I was relieved. Jasper's presence would help ease the pain of not having our parents around for yet another holiday. Our first Thanksgiving without them was a veritable nightmare...being less than a month after they'd gone, and I wanted this holiday to be different.
"I guess our plans have changed for tonight. So, are you gonna stay at Edward's?"
"He was still a bit dizzy this morning, so probably."
"Alright, darlin'. Since I have no idea what time I'll be back, I think it's best if I go home afterwards and pick you both up after work tomorrow...give you two kids some brother/sister time."
"Okay, I'll see you soon, but call me when you get back so I don't worry," I implored, already missing him like crazy.
"I sure will. Well, I'd best let you go and give Edward a call...let him know I've found Miss Bella."
"Okay. I love you, Jazz," I murmured affectionately.
"I love you too, and I'll call you later, sweet thang," he growled. As I hung up and put away my phone, the drizzling rain began to pour heavily, drenching every part of me as I anxiously raced back to my brother.
EPOV
I paced the floor and waited.
Up and back. Up and back.
Never slowing.
Just waiting.
Staring at the phone.
Willing it to ring.
"Ring," I growled, my strides never faltering as I shivered, my clothes still drenched from the walk home, the water squelching in my shoes. Breaking stride for a moment, I toed my sodden shoes off my feet and tossed them in the corner before resuming my phone-side vigil.
I hated placing my fate...my destiny...in someone else's hands. Despised it. And yet...I continued to allow it to happen...again and again.
I was obviously a masochist.
"Fucking ring," I repeated, desperation creeping into my voice.
Fuck I hoped I'd done the right thing. Rosalie just threw me with her threats. I panicked. I wasn't thinking straight. I was desperate.
I paced and I thought, the tempest outside reflecting my feelings inside as my mind swirled and my muscles clenched and unclenched...every thought and feeling pulsing through my body as I waited in anticipation.
This had been some mess I'd gotten myself in. I reasoned I couldn't go on like this any longer. That's how it all started. Then, after giving control of everything to my sister, only to have it blow up in my face, I decided I had to take charge of my life and stop my sister manipulating me.
Oh, but I didn't stop there...oh no. Instead of being a man and sorting out my own problems, I chose to jump out of the frypan and into the fire by asking for Jasper's help.
What a pathetic loser I was!
"Ring, goddamn it!" I screamed, my pacing now frenetic as I nearly tripped over the cloth that covered my bike.
Finally, to my relief, my phone buzzed, the sheer relief of hearing that sound causing me to stop and slump against the wall, where I slid down until my ass hit the floor and I bent my knees to my chest.
"Jasper, did you track her down?" I asked in a rush of words, my tone desperate as I waited for his answer.
"Yeah. I found out where she is, but..."
"But what?"
"Riley made me promise not to tell you."
"Fuck!" I yelled, banging my head against the wall a few times. "Please, Jasper...you have to tell me where she is. You know I need to make things right," I begged, my last shred of dignity all but gone.
"No can do, Edward. I need to go see her alone."
"No!" I shouted angrily.
"Edward, I know you're upset, but I can't go against Riley's wishes. Now just calm yourself down and hear me out..." And then he proceeded to explain how Riley had given him the information on the proviso that he didn't reveal it to anyone else, and how Bella was still angry with me so it was pointless to see her anyway. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew that as difficult as it would be, I needed to place my faith in another human being. Besides, it wasn't as if I had any other choice in the matter. He wasn't about to tell me a fucking thing. He even told me he hadn't told Alice about Bella's whereabouts, so I knew I was wasting my breath.
"Alright! Alright!" I spat, my mind giving in to what my heart truly wanted. "Just don't fuck this up any more than it already is, okay?"
"Don't worry, Edward, after I sort out this mess with her, I'll do nothing but sing your praises and try to convince her any way I can to at least call you," he assured me. "That is, if she'll talk to me. Is there anything else you can think of that might help smooth things over with Bella a little?"
I thought for a moment, and then smiled as I recalled the deal I'd made with the wicked witch of the west.
"Tell Bella I managed to get Rosalie to keep the article as is...word for word."
"You're kidding? How the hell did you manage to convince her of that?" he asked, seemingly impressed.
"Oh...I used a little trick you and Alice may have heard of before...you know...manipulation? She promised me that if I got Bella to cooperate, she'd leave the article as it is."
"Well alright Edward!" he said proudly. "I'm sure that both Bella and Alice will be mighty pleased to hear that. Oh, and speaking of Alice, I just got done telling her what happened, so be prepared to get your ass chewed out when she gets back to your place," he warned.
"Great," I growled.
"Edward, I know Alice can be a little overbearing sometimes, but when all is said and done, she really does have your best interests at heart. She's worried about you, that's all."
"I know," I conceded. "But she needs to back off and let me live my life."
"I get it, but remember she loves you. We both do. Err...what I mean to say is...oh fuck!"
What?
Oh we are not having this conversation now, are we?
There was an awkward pause, the few moments of silence making me feel more than uncomfortable. What was I supposed to say to that? I heard Jasper clear his throat before he spoke once more.
"Edward? You there?"
"Um...yeah," I said as I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."
"No...it's...okay...I guess," I stuttered.
"Well, I'm heading out now. I'll talk to you later," he said, his voice tinged with disappointment, and that, in turn, made me feel more than a bit guilty.
"Yeah, sure. And Jasper...just so you know, I really do appreciate everything you've done...so...um...thanks," I said awkwardly, trying to let him know that I was grateful for all he'd done, but at the same time feeling aggravated that I needed his help in the first place.
"No problem, Edward. Remember...it's what friends do for each other," he said.
"Friends, huh?" I muttered.
"Yeah. I mean, you know after the conference you were mad at me and all, but yeah...I kinda hoped that's what we could become," Jasper admitted in a quiet, hopeful voice.
When I thought about it, the guy always seemed to have my back as well as Alice's and even Bella's. He never failed to come through when things were at their worst, and even though I was still a little sore at him for the way he planned to ensnare my sister's heart, I had to admit, he'd done right by her ever since.
"I have no problem with us being friends, Jasper. As long as you understand that all bets are off if you hurt my sister."
"Believe me, Edward, I get that, but I'll never hurt her. She's the only one I've ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with."
"That's great...and as long as you stand by that statement, I guess we can be friends. Unless of course you still want me to gut you like a fish," I said with a smirk. He laughed in response before we both said our goodbyes and ended the call, and I found myself smiling curiously at the very foreign idea of actually having a close friend. I hadn't had anyone to lean on besides Alice since...well it had been years, and I realised the friends I did have weren't really friends at all after I got sick...and they began to abandon me one by one.
"Friends," I whispered, my smile broadening into a ridiculous grin as I felt a warm sense of comfort wash through me, trusting that Jasper's motives to help were, once again in the right place.
Unfortunately, my lightened mood was to be short-lived. Just as I stood up and put the phone down on the coffee table, I was stopped in my tracks as a soaking wet, pissed looking pixie burst through the door holding a soggy box of Advil and a drenched pack of camomile teabags.
BPOV
"Hey, Jasper," I said as he gave me a warm smile. "Come in." A strange feeling suddenly overwhelmed me as I glanced over his shoulder, nervous but at the same time excited by the prospect that perhaps Edward had come with him.
"Hey Bella. It's good to see you," he said as he walked in and took off his coat, the droplets of rain splashing on the floor as I took it and hung it on the coat hook. "And don't worry, he's not here...Riley made me promise not to tell anyone where you were," he added in a low voice.
"Oh," I said, not really knowing how to respond to that information.
Just as I was about to invite him to sit down, Charlie was suddenly standing next to me.
"Charlie Swan, Bella's father. And you are?"
"Jasper Whitlock, Sir," Jasper answered courteously as he extended his hand.
"Jasper you say?" Charlie replied with a befuddled expression as he reciprocated and they shook hands. I rolled my eyes...knowing that Dad thought that someone else entirely was paying me a visit. "Well I'm pleased to meet you. Why don't you head on in to the living room and make yourself comfortable while Bella and I get us all some coffee?"
"Sure," Jasper answered with a knowing glance as Dad showed him to the couch before grasping my arm and dragging me away.
"Dad, for fuck's sake...let me go!" I said, shrugging out of his grasp as we walked down the hallway and into the kitchen.
"Is this guy the one you were telling me about?"
"No, that's Edward, he's Jasper."
"I know that! I was talking about the one that you said was at the conference," he said with a click of his fingers.
"Oh...yeah, that's him," I confirmed with a nod as I opened the pantry and retrieved the coffee before starting to fix a fresh pot.
"Am I going to have to fetch my rifle?"
"Why the hell for?" I hissed, trying to keep my voice low.
"You can't be that stupid, can you? If this guy's here, who's to say Edward won't show up as well?" he whispered in a high tone, his expression hard.
"Edward has no idea where I am. Jasper promised not to give him your address, so stop it with the gun talk and the theatrics, okay?"
"Well would you mind filling me in on why Blondie's here then?" he asked as he pointed his curled thumb toward the kitchen doorway.
I couldn't help but snort at the name he'd given Jasper.
"Not that it's any of your damned concern, but Jasper needed to see me on some urgent business," I said as I switched on the coffee maker and grabbed two cups from the cupboard.
"Business? Hey, maybe he might give you a job. You said he was in publishing, right?" he asked. He never cut me a break. Even when I was in high school, he was always at me to get at least a part-time job. One thing he did instil in me was a sense of independence from a very early age.
"Dad..." I whined.
"Alright, alright! I'll butt out. Still, you never know if unexpected guests might arrive. I might go fetch Bessie just in case, give her a good cleaning," he whispered as his eyes shot toward the kitchen doorway.
Before I had the chance to berate my father for not only making idle threats with his aptly named gun, but being as melodramatic as a twelve year old girl, I heard Jasper's clear his throat as he suddenly appeared in the kitchen doorway.
What is he, a Ninja or some shit?
"Need a hand?" he asked quietly, a look of concern on his face.
"No thanks Jasper. We're just about done. Why don't you have a seat so we can talk," I directed, pointing toward the kitchen table. He sat down as I poured the coffee and placed the cups on the table before retrieving the milk and sugar. I eyed Charlie, silently letting him know that he needed to make himself scarce.
Picking up on my cue, but unable to stop himself from rubbing salt into my wounds one last time, Charlie cleared his throat and said, "Oh...guess I'll give the coffee a miss. I'm gonna go take a shower and get a few hours shuteye before work. You've heard of work, right Bella? That thing you do every day to survive?" he asked, oozing sarcasm.
Oh give it a rest!
"Yeah I heard about that. What a concept. You go in and do a job you hate, only to be abused by the boss before you go home, sleep and do it all over again the next day," I retorted as I dragged the chair across the linoleum floor and plonked my ass down.
He mumbled a few profanities about me being an ungrateful child before leaving us to talk. Jasper frowned as he watched him walk away.
"It's okay...Dad and I have always been like this...he's harmless...all bark and no bite."
"I see...well as long as you're okay." I could see why Alice was so taken with him. His protective, caring nature was absolutely ingrained in him.
"I'm more than able to handle the old man...so don't worry." I added some milk to my coffee and offered it to him. He took it and nodded his thanks before taking a deep breath.
"Okay. So...who's Bessie? Is she a pet of yours?" Jasper asked with a mischievous grin as he picked up his cup and blew the steam away before taking a sip.
"She's my dad's favourite hunting rifle if you must know," I answered with a shrug.
"Ah, I see. Should I be worried?" he smiled.
"Not unless you fuck up, no," I replied in a warning tone, sipping on my coffee.
"Well, Miss Bella, I'll make sure I'm on my best behaviour then," he said with a sly laugh and a nod.
"So, what's going on, Jasper? Riley said you mentioned something about Rosalie."
"Yeah...Rosalie was at your apartment looking for you," he said, his expression turning serious.
"How do you know that?" I queried, already suspecting the answer.
"How do you think?" he answered with a cocked brow, placing his cup on the table.
"Edward..."
"Yes, Bella...Edward. He went to see you. He feels real bad about..."
"I don't give a fuck about how bad Edward feels," I snapped, interrupting his little spiel, the sting of humiliation still too fresh in my mind.
"It's not just him that feels bad about this and if you switched on your phone you'd already know that. We've all been trying to contact you to apologise for what happened," he answered firmly.
"Jasper...don't you get it? I had my phone switched off for a reason. I don't want to hear about how everyone's sorry and wants my forgiveness just so they can sleep at night!" I growled.
He hunched his shoulders and stared at his clasped hands, his expression unreadable as he sat there in silence.
"You just can't disappear like that without worrying everyone who cares about you," he muttered.
I snorted in response. "I don't owe any of you an explanation for my actions."
"Would you please just accept my apology for my part in this, then?" he implored as he looked at me with softened eyes.
"Look Jasper...I have no beef with you, so there's nothing for you to apologise for, okay? Now, why don't you tell me why the hell Rosalie wants to talk to me so you can go running back to your girlfriend, before I get really upset," I threatened in a calmer than expected tone, the hurt I felt causing my voice to crack.
He sighed and shook his head in frustration before speaking.
"Alright Bella, have it your way. Rosalie went to see you because she still wants you to hand over the article."
The anger rose within me the moment those words left his lips...and I instantly saw red. How dare she want me to do anything for her after what she did? Of all the nerve!
"Do you honestly fucking expect me to bail her ass out after the stunt she pulled?" I gritted out.
"Not normally, no. But, she told Edward to let you know that unless she gets the article by this Friday, she'd be seeking legal advice," he answered evenly, his attempted serene expression doing nothing to calm me.
"What? Who the fuck does she think she is?" I yelled, slamming my half drunk coffee cup on the table, the contents sloshing over the edge and spilling over the laminate. Jasper stood up and grabbed the dishcloth from the sink, and proceeded to clean up the mess before tossing the cloth in the sink and sitting back down.
"Apparently you're contractually obligated to supply her with the article. Now, I have my legal advisors looking into it, but there's little time to act with the holiday and all and with her wanting it by Friday."
"That bitch! There's no fucking way I'm going to give her what she wants!" I ranted stubbornly. I knew that I was being ridiculous, but I was so fucking livid, that I didn't give a damn. Tears began to well in my eyes and my body shook as I slumped forward and leant my elbows on the table, cradling my head in my hands.
Jasper leant across the table and grasped my wrist, pulling my hand into his warm ones, his actions forcing me to look at him. "Look, Bella...I care about you a great deal and I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I just don't want to see you get into any legal battles with the likes of Rosalie Hale."
"So you think I should just roll over, take it up the ass again and give her what she wants?" I sniffed.
"Only because not doing it could hurt you even more in the long run," he said softly, stroking the skin of the back of my hand.
"And you believe that if she wasn't between a rock and a hard place right now, she would care about how much this whole thing has already hurt me?" I whimpered, his skin on skin contact with me infuriatingly soothing.
"I don't know, Bella...probably not. I just figured that after all you went through to get this story done, you'd like to get it published is all," he hedged. And I had been through a lot. This whole thing was the catalyst for my life changing irrecoverably...and though I hated the situation I now found myself in, I had to admit the ride had been nothing but exhilarating...well, until it all turned to shit anyways.
"This wouldn't have anything to do with you wanting to perhaps get a little publicity for your girlfriend's latest novel, would it?" I accused, laughing darkly.
"Of course it would!" he chuckled, trying to make light of the whole situation before becoming serious once more. "Look Bella, all I'm saying is that I think that this would be the perfect opportunity for you to be the bigger person in all this, that's all. Perhaps give you some closure...and maybe even open up a few new possibilities?"
New possibilities? What the fuck was he talking about? My life was in ruins! I'd left Hale Publishing. I had no friends. There were no more possibilities out there for me.
"Whatever," I said flippantly.
"Can you just think about it?" he questioned smoothly.
I let out a defeated sigh, but didn't answer him. We sat at the table, staring each other down in silence for a few moments, his ice blue eyes penetrating and contemplative as they bored into mine, his fingers continuing to stroke my skin relentlessly.
Oh for fuck's sake!
"Alright Jasper! Just stop it with the staring contest okay? And quit holding my hand! You're giving me the creeps!" I said as I pulled out of his grasp and wiped a stray tear away. "Fucking manipulative bastard," I mumbled.
"Me? Manipulative? I have no idea what you're talking about," he said in mock innocence as he shrugged and leant back in his chair, a hint of a satisfied smirk crossing his face.
The little shit.
And then a thought occurred to me. Alice couldn't possibly want to go along with this, not after Rosalie's antics at the conference brought everything out in the open. "Hold on a minute, Jasper. How does Alice feel about this? I mean, I won't write it, but what if Rosalie ends up publishing the whole story about what happened? I can't imagine Alice or Edward would want the whole truth to come out considering how private they've been about it all."
"Edward told me that he made a deal with Rosalie. If you submit the article on time, Rosalie will publish it word for word," he said with a smug smile.
Edward did that?
"What makes you so sure?" I asked warily, ignoring Edward's apparent noble gesture.
"When there's this much money involved with advertising and cross promotion, she'll do whatever she has to, to make this work. She may be a vindictive bitch Bella, but first and foremost, she's always been a shrewd businesswoman."
"So how am I supposed to finish the article without the interviews and shots I planned on getting from the conference?" I asked.
"Well, I'm happy to help where I can," he offered. "How about I take a look at what you've written and we go from there?"
"Alright then," I agreed. "I'll just go get my laptop so we can fuck this duck and I can get on with my miserable damned life."
"Yes ma'am!" he said with a salute and a huge grin as he watched me head upstairs. I returned quickly, waiting until Jasper cleared away the dishes before I set the laptop on the kitchen table. Just as I switched it on and opened up the article for Jasper to read, the doorbell rang.
"Shit!" I hissed as I glanced out of the kitchen window and saw who was standing on the porch. Jasper's eyes darted toward the window before he shot me a wary 'are you okay' glance.
"It's fine. I'll be right back," I assured him as I dragged my ass out of the kitchen and tore open the front door.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, my sudden appearance taking him by surprise.
"Hello to you too, Bella," he said with a smile, flashing his perfect white teeth which shone against his long black hair and caramel skin.
"Enough with the pleasantries, Jake. What the hell do you want?" I hissed.
"Charlie told me you were home. I kind of wanted to talk to you...if you have the time," he said charmingly. He was still smiling as he spoke, his sweet voice doing nothing but irritating me further. The guy just never got upset about anything, and as he stood there on my father's porch, looking pleased as punch to see me, that only served to annoy the crap out of me even more than it usually did. Even the heavens approved of him as I noticed the rain ease and the sun attempt to peek through the clouds.
"I'm afraid I don't have the time, Jake," I replied.
"So, would you rather discuss this later? Maybe over dinner? Or breakfast tomorrow?" he smiled.
Gah!
He may be the consummate 'nice guy' but I also knew how stubborn he was, and how Charlie would have no trouble agreeing to him coming over for a meal and a long-assed conversation. I also pictured the both of them ganging up on me, which sounded less than appealing.
"No I don't want to discuss this over dinner or breakfast!" I growled.
"Alright then, now it is," he said easily.
Oh kill me now!
"Fine, but I have work to do, so you'd better make it quick!" I conceded as I stepped through the door and shut it behind me, pissed that he'd gotten his way so easily but knowing that in the long run, giving in to him now would be a hell of a lot easier.
He sat on the porch swing and patted the space next to him, his smile devastating as he waited. I sighed and trudged to the swing, plonking my ass down in a huff...and waiting for him to speak.
"Charlie called me after you got in and he filled me in on what happened," he stated.
"He had no right to do that," I answered in response, annoyed that my father confided in him about me.
"Bella, he loves you...and I just wanted to make sure you were okay. It seems that your life's taken a turn for the worse and I wanted to come by and let you know that I'm here for you."
"You wouldn't know it from my end," I retorted, incensed.
"I'm really sorry, Bella. It was wrong for me to leave the way I did, but I needed some time to think things over," he said apologetically, his lips uncharacteristically downturned.
"How do you think it made me feel when you just left without giving our relationship any closure...taking all our friends with you as you ran?" I snapped as I tore my hand away from his.
"I was confused, Bella, and I had to come home to figure out what I wanted...and now that I have...I've come to realise a few things."
"No shit? Well good for you!" I said sarcastically. "And so what happened...have you had an epiphany or something?"
"Kind of," as he reached for my hand and grasped it. "Bella, I know it wasn't fair to you...but I'd been thinking about moving back here, even before things went bad between us."
"Billy?" I questioned in realisation, and he gave me a returning nod. I knew he always felt bad about moving away from home. His father, Billy, was a retired Colonel, a proud military man who had survived everything from the Vietnam War to a tour of Afghanistan. Little did he know that he would be fighting the biggest battle of his life against an enemy he had no chance of defeating. And as dementia began its relentless attack on him, memory loss and some minor mishaps soon followed.
"How is he?" I asked.
"He has his good days and bad, but he's doing as well as can be expected, I guess." He looked so lost, and I knew right away that his father's illness was taking its toll.
"Still as stubborn as always...just like someone else I know," I stated, feeling my lips curve into a smile.
"He's worse, if that's even possible," he said with a humourless laugh. "He hasn't taken well to accepting my help either, but you know me."
"Yeah, I do...and unfortunately I also know how determined your dad is too. So, how are you coping?" I asked softly. As much as we had our problems, he was still my friend and I did care about him and his father.
"Oh it's not so bad. We get a nurse in once a week and I've been doing some odd jobs around town to help support us."
"Jesus, Jake...I'm so sorry," I sympathised.
"Well look at you, Bella. Here I am to try and comfort you, and you're doing it for me instead. I've never heard you say you're sorry before, either," he asked with a sense of surprise.
"Yeah well, I've changed a bit, I guess. But don't get too used to it. I'm still pretty angry with you, in case you were wondering," I told him.
His face fell, and he averted his eyes for a moment, before taking a deep breath and turning to gaze at me, his deep brown eyes piercing in their intensity.
"Look, I know we didn't exactly break up on the best of terms Bella, but ever since I've been home I've come to realise what's really important in my life, and I wanted to call you...to tell you...that..."
"To tell me what?" And as I looked into his eyes, his blush rising, his awkwardness telling me that what he was about to say was something serious, he drew my hand towards him, placing my palm against his heart.
What. The. Hell?
No...no, no no! Don't say it! Not now!
"That I still have feelings for you, Bella," he admitted in a rush, before holding his breath and closing his eyes for a brief moment.
And as those shocking words left his lips, and before I could say another thing, he leant in and placed a soft kiss on my mouth. I was so shocked by his actions that I froze on the spot, only managing a gasp as he exhaled and pressed his lips firmly against my own. As this surreal experience threatened to take me under, a million different thoughts began to race through my muddled head...all the memories we shared, the friendship...the affection and camaraderie we had with one another...the good times and bad...the hurt that came when he left...and the loneliness that was now my new companion. My emotions were so scattered, so frayed that I felt as though I was having an out of body experience.
This wasn't happening...was it? Being with Jake was never hard, I knew that. It was easy as breathing...but there was always something missing. Why, then, was I not pushing him away?
My breaths quickened and my heart raced as I thought about the night we first kissed and how natural it seemed to take things further, but as time passed, I came to realise we made better friends than lovers. It didn't stop me though. Even though I knew what we were doing now was wrong, I didn't pull away, and a strange sense of familiarity invaded my senses. He groaned as I felt him wrap his arms around me and trace his tongue over my lips, the breath knocked out of me as he held me close and deepened the kiss.
And yet, even then, I still didn't pull away. What was wrong with me?
I was tired.
So worn and fed up.
I needed to feel again...needed someone's skin on mine without thought of the consequences.
So, instead of doing what I knew was right and pushing him away, I threw caution to the wind and gave in to the sensations that surrounded me and without thinking, I let myself go. I returned his affections with determination, opening my mouth to his warmth and sunshine as his hot breath overpowered and intoxicated, his arms making me feel nothing but the comfort that I didn't know I so desperately craved until it was offered to me, right there on a silver platter.
But as tongues tangled and bodies touched, a sense of dread soon followed as Edward's face appeared in my mind's eye and along with it, a feeling that this was nothing but wrong quickly followed. At the same time, thoughts invaded my mind of how things ended with Jake and how heartbroken I was to lose his friendship, and how Edward had done the same, all of this causing me to hesitate and actually think about what I was doing.
I'd lost my job.
Edward was gone.
I had no friends.
I didn't want to be alone.
That's why I was doing this.
It had nothing to do with wanting Jake. Hell, if a stranger off the street had offered, I'd probably be fucking him on this swing right now!
As if a bucket of cold water had been thrown over my consciousness, I withdrew my mouth from his, placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away, shaking my head in refusal.
"I love you, Bella," Jake confessed, his eyes filled with fear and trepidation, his breaths hard and fast as he waited in vain for me to return his sentiments.
I just couldn't do it. Not to him, not to me. No matter how desperate and lonely I felt.
"I'm sorry, Jake, I do still care about you, I care about you very much, but I...can't do this," I confessed.
"I know," he conceded. "I just had to tell you...I had to see...I didn't want to regret anything, and I wanted to lay it all on the line so we can either see where this goes, or find a way to move on," he whispered, his voice laced heavily with regret.
I nodded my head in appreciation. I didn't deserve the guy, and as much as I wanted to explain things further, I just didn't have the heart. I knew I cared about Edward more than I first thought. The fact that I turned down Jake only proved it unequivocally. "Thank you, Jake. You have no idea what that means to me, and I hope we can still be friends," I said as tears began to sting my eyes.
"Oh Bella, of course we can so please, don't cry. Come here," he said as he drew me to him and held me, his warmth soothing as I buried my face in his chest and allowed the tears to fall freely. He kissed the top of my head and whispered words of love in my ear and as I began to calm down, I was suddenly aware that we weren't alone as the sound of the door opening and the sensation of a set of eyes boring into the back of my head overwhelmed me.
"Bella?" the familiar voice asked as I turned away from Jake's embrace to face Jasper, standing there in the doorway, phone in his hand, wearing the most stunned expression I'd ever seen...
A/N: Are you still with me or is there an echo in here? Please let me know what you think! And don't forget to vote! LOVE YA!