Odds And Ends
Disclaimer: Glee is Ryan Murphy's, I'm just a fangirl who can't resist playing with his wonderful creations:)
A/N: While 'Prom Queen' is definitely one of my favorite episodes this season and the the Furt moment we got was adorable, I still feel so bad and heartbroken for Kurt...and I can see why they needed Finn out of there – heads would roll...Still, I really missed him there and wanted to see his reaction. So, here's my try at it. Enjoy!
Spoilers for 'Prom Queen'.
Brave Heart
It wasn't really cold, it was May after all, but Finn was shaking anyway. The adrenaline was wearing off, replaced by a mixture of anger, incredulity and humiliation as he sat despondently on the parking lot curb in front of the gym, with Junior Prom, his Junior Prom, slowly coming to an end inside.
He still didn't know what had gotten into him, he only knew that when he saw Jesse St. Jackass nuzzling and groping Rachel on the dance floor, all he could think about was punching the guy's face off. The wild animal that had been lurking in his chest ever since he learned the betraying sleazeball was back, finally got unhinged. Now he fully understood where the expression 'see red' came from because all he could see was red, boiling rage. He didn't really remember much of what happened later apart from the fact that he did manage to pack at least one punch. Almost, if it wasn't for that freakish Matrix ninja thing Jesse did. Finn was nowhere that flexible, though, and he was now paying for it. As he moved his jaw gingerly, he felt pain shoot through his whole face and hissed, his fingers coming out smeared with a bit of blood. Yup, Jesse must have gotten a hit in, too.
He groaned and this time it wasn't from pain. Quinn was going to bite his head off for sure, Rachel probably hated him, he had missed half of Prom and on top of that, he was probably going to get a detention or worse. Coach Sylvester would make sure of that. She had been on a roll when she was dragging them out, and she kept mumbling something about how their fight had come in the perfect moment because she hadn't reached her molar extraction quota for the day and they would do perfectly. Finn wanted to correct her that the things were called 'moles' and thank you, he didn't have any to remove, but by the horrified look on Jesse's face he figured he'd better zip it.
In the end she had to let them go, though, because Becky had called her off on another code red. Jesse didn't waste time. He vaulted himself into his car and drove off faster than you could say 'scrambled eggs'.
Finn didn't have it that easy. He and Quinn had come in Kurt's Navigator so it wasn't like he could scram and get home so he sank down to the curb waiting for his stepbrother and hoping the Coach forgot about him. He let his head hang despondently between his knees as the scope of the trouble he'd gotten himself into slowly sank in.
He had no idea how long he sat there. It might have been twenty minutes or an hour. At some point people started to trickle out of the gym and into their cars so he figured it was over. Another quarter of an hour passed and finally he saw them. Quinn detached herself from the group, gave Finn one angry glare and went with Lauren and Puck. The group dispersed, everyone unusually quiet, so that soon there were only Blaine and Kurt walking towards him. Finn was glad he didn't have to face them all now. Kurt's wrath would be more than enough. He sprung to his feet, steeling himself for a right tongue-lashing from his brother, but he all but forgot about it when he got a better look at Kurt. His jaw fell.
"Dude…you're wearing a crown."
"I am well aware of that, Finn," Kurt sighed.
Finn's eyes lit up. "You won Prom King! That's so great, man! I told you this Braveheart outfit rocks!"
Kurt regarded him silently for a while, his eyes a translucent blue-greyish color. Finn felt concern gnaw at his stomach and his smile slid off his face. Something was wrong. Very wrong. There was only one other time Finn had seen Kurt's eyes like that and it had broken his heart then just as it was now. He only hoped this time it wasn't because of him. During the basement blowout he had promised himself he would never ever hurt Kurt like that again, and he wouldn't let anyone else do so either.
Looking at his stepbrother now, he was afraid his promise had been broken. He wanted to say something, he really did, but his words had abandoned him and then the haunted look in Kurt's eyes was gone and the moment lost. The countertenor turned to Blaine and squeezed his arm gently. Then he went for the Navigator without a word to either of them.
Finn looked after him for a while before turning to Blaine with an anxious frown. "What happened? What's wrong?"
Blaine sighed, a sour smile creasing his lips. "Kurt didn't win Prom King, Finn."
"So…that's why he's so upset?" the taller boy asked slowly. "I didn't know he wanted to win, he wasn't even in the competition," he mumbled. "So the crown…did he like, steal it or something?"
Blaine let out a mirthless chuckle. "I wish that was it," he replied shoving his hands in his tux pockets. Then he looked at Finn. "He was crowned Prom Queen."
Flabbergasted, Finn blinked before sputtering an incredulous, "What?"
"It was a write-in vote."
Finn really didn't think this night could get any worse but apparently the universe was bent on making this the absolutely worst night of his life. He thought being kicked out of Prom in front of the whole school was bad but this totally took the cake. He couldn't even imagine what Kurt must have felt in that moment. It was beyond insulting and cruel. No one deserved this kind of humiliation, and especially not Kurt.
Finn wanted to kick himself even more for getting thrown out because he wasn't there for Kurt. He felt the now fairly familiar rage rise within him again like a fire, enveloping him whole. He clenched his teeth and balled his fists, starting for the entrance. Heads were going to be smashed.
Then out of nowhere there was a hand on his chest slowing him down. He looked sideways to meet Blaine's firm gaze.
"What are you doing, Finn?"
"I've got some faces to punch off."
"You're going to beat the whole school up?" Blaine asked rather reasonably but Finn didn't want to listen to reason right now. Never in his life had he been so mad. Not even when he saw Rachel with Jesse. This was different. This was bigger than him and his stupid girl problems. This was his little brother. He ground his teeth. Kurt had been through so much this year, and he was so happy to be back and so looking forward to Prom, and what did he get in return? A punch to the gut. The least Finn could do was return the favor.
"If I have to," he growled. "Let me go."
He tried to push Blaine away, the guy was like a hobbit or something compared to him, but it turned out he was surprisingly strong for someone so small. He held his ground, standing in front of Finn and placing both his hands on the other teen's chest.
"Finn, stop it," he urged him. "The only thing you'll achieve is getting yourself expelled."
"I don't care! It's Kurt!"
"I know," Blaine enunciated calmly. "And believe me, if this had the slightest chance of succeeding, I'd be walking in there with you. But it doesn't and you know it, Finn."
The taller boy looked at him angrily, fury still boiling in his eyes and his posture tense. Blaine decided it was time for the final crushing argument or he would get literally trampled on by the Incredible Finn.
"…and Kurt would kill you if you got yourself hurt or expelled because of him," he said. "You have seen Kurt angry, haven't you?"
"Kind of," Finn gulped. "Usually it's a glimpse over the shoulder because I'm already on the run by then."
Blaine nodded, watching Finn turn hesitant and relax slightly, his fists slowly unclenching. Blaine tried to hide a satisfied smirk seeing his words were finally getting somewhere. Trust Finn to be more afraid of his stepbrother's anger than the fists of a dozen jocks. He was right, by the way. Kurt could be pretty damn scary when he was pissed.
"So, if you don't want to spend tonight in fear of a major Kurt freak-out that may or may not involve shaving all your hair, you'd better give it up, Finn," he persuaded, only partly joking.
The taller boy groaned. "But I have to do something!"
"I know how you feel, Finn, but Kurt stood his ground," Blaine assured him. "He wore that crown and owned the moment. I wish you could have seen him. Do you know what he said? 'Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton.'," he shook his head, admiration in his voice. "It was epic."
Finn frowned. "She's an actress or something, right?"
The Warbler smiled at him. "Close."
The taller boy sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Whatever, man. I know he's strong but the thing is I don't want him to have to be strong all the time. It's just not fair!"
"I know," Blaine agreed bitterly. "But do you honestly think you'll make it any more fair if you barge in there now and start hitting people?"
Finn looked like he was going to say yes, so Blaine quickly continued, "Think about Kurt. He really doesn't need this right now, Finn. He needs a shoulder to cry on – that's me, and a shoulder to smack – that's you," he said wryly and succeeded in eliciting a shadow of a smile from the other boy. "So come on, let's not keep him waiting anymore."
Finn nodded slowly, finally unclenching his fists fully. "You're a really cool guy, Blaine," he decided. "I'm glad Kurt has you."
Blaine smiled at him. "Same here, Finn. I know Kurt may not exactly wear his heart on his sleeve but he's really glad he has you for a brother. He respects you."
Finn gave him a look of disbelief. "He...does?"
Blaine nudged him in the side. "He'll deny it but it's the truth. Just don't tell him I told you that. We'd both be dead."
XxXxXxX
Finn hovered in the hallway waiting for Kurt to say his goodbyes to Blaine on the porch. As he observed them, he felt a smile grow on his lips. He remembered the aura of happiness from the time he was with Rachel. Finn found he didn't feel any kind of unease or discomfort watching his brother with his boyfriend, like he inwardly thought he would. All he thought about was that he liked seeing Kurt being able to enjoy this kind of happiness. Plus, Blaine was a really cool guy, and he liked football. But most of all, he genuinely loved Kurt. That was enough for Finn.
"Finn, your eyes are starting to cross," a snarky voice to his right remarked and the teen snapped out of his reverie realizing Kurt had detached himself from Blaine in the mean time and was now standing before him with a raised eyebrow.
Blaine was already at his car, which he had left parked at the Hudmel house before Prom, and waved them goodbye before jumping in and driving off.
"Finn? Are you going to let me in tonight?" Kurt asked crossing his arms.
"Um, sorry," the taller boy mumbled moving away from the entrance.
He closed the door after Kurt, worry stealing back over him as he watched his brother take off his coat and shoes. Kurt had chatted away about the music and the outfits like an overexcited squirrel on the way back but he didn't say a word about the crowning and Finn knew him well enough to recognize it was a front. He wanted to know how Kurt really was but at the same time he had no idea how to broach the subject without angering or upsetting the other boy.
"Finn, I can feel you staring," Kurt said without turning around and Finn almost jumped, startled by the other boy's observation.
Figuring subtlety was never his thing, Finn just went for it. Even if it got him a smack over the head.
"Sorry, it's just...are you ok?" he asked sheepishly. "You didn't say a word about the...crowning and I was-"
Finn let his voice trail as Kurt straightened up, having pulled off both his boots, and regarded him for a while.
"I'm fine," he said flatly but seeing genuine concern in his stepbrother's eyes, he forced a reassuring smile onto his lips. "I'm royalty now, how could I not be?" he added casually but he knew the other boy saw right through it.
Finn looked at Kurt skeptically but before he could say anything, the smaller boy stepped closer to him and put a hand under his chin, turning his head to the side. Finn hissed as Kurt's cold fingers moved gently over his now probably very swollen jaw. Crap, he'd completely forgotten about that.
"You, on the other hand, are not," Kurt said clucking in disapproval as he looked his brother's red-turning-blue jaw over expertly. "You're lucky our parents are already asleep and can't see you," he added releasing Finn's chin and moving a step back. "Come on, this has to be taken care of or you'll look like a hamster tomorrow."
"I'll totally look like a tough guy!" he grumbled following Kurt into the kitchen.
"A tough hamster, maybe," Kurt shot back wryly and started to rummage through the cabinets.
"No one can boost my manly ego like you," Finn said reproachfully as the smaller boy turned back to him with the first aid kit.
"At your service," Kurt retorted, opening the kit. "You're lucky the cut's small and doesn't need stitches," he said disapprovingly dabbing the wound on his jaw with a kitchen towel and applying some disinfectant.
Finn hissed. "You're trying to make it better or worse?"
"Don't be a baby," the smaller boy scolded. "It's the least you deserve for starting up a fight and getting kicked out of Prom," Kurt said pointedly, stopping to meet Finn's eyes with a reproving gaze. "What was that about, Finn? Have you completely lost your mind?"
"For a while," Finn admitted. "But it felt good."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Boys."
"It's just...I dunno." Finn sighed, his hands twisting in his lap. "When I saw that slimeball with Rachel as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't turned her into an omelette last year, and betrayed her and went behind all our backs...something just snapped, you know?"
Kurt put a band-aid on the wound and stepped away to look Finn in the eye.
"You still love her," he announced softly after a while.
"Of course I do," Finn mumbled, dropping his eyes. "She's my friend-" he added meekly.
Kurt huffed. "Finn Hudson, if you had to lie for a living, you'd be homeless and starving."
"I'm not lying!"
Kurt sighed and plopped on a chair next to Finn. "Maybe not but what you're doing is even worse," he stressed. "You can't be with Quinn and pine for Rachel, Finn. It's not fair to them and to you. You've got to make up your mind or you'll end up hurting them both. And yourself," he added looking pointedly at Finn's bruised face.
The taller boy shifted on his chair uncomfortably.
"The thing is, I can't," he said, frustration in his voice. "One minute I'm so sure I want to be with Quinn but then she makes me hand out pens with our names on it and I feel ridiculous and then Rachel is all nice and helps me choose the right corsage but then Quinn comes down the stairs in that dress and looks so beautiful and-"
"Finn, sweetie, you're starting to babble," Kurt interrupted. He patted Finn on the shoulder. "Strangely enough, I think I understand. Quinn is your first love and Rachel is your true love. They're both special and you don't want to let either of them go. But right now you're letting both of them down."
"So what am I supposed to do?"
"Make up your mind, Finn. Once and for all," Kurt stressed. "Because frankly, if there's any more of this triangle drama, Mercedes and I will stage an intervention and it won't be pretty."
"But I can't choose, that's the problem!"
"Finn, just...as cheesy as this sounds...go with your heart. Meditate, play your games, sleep on it...and choose. "
The taller boy nodded slowly, a grim frown on his face. Still, he knew Kurt was right. "Thanks, Kurt."
"You're not off the hook yet." Kurt stood up and crossed his hands. "Blaine told me you wanted to beat the whole of McKinley up. While it's endearing and I'm grateful, I hope you do realize it would have been incredibly stupid. You could have gotten yourself expelled."
"And it would be worth it."
Kurt sighed. "Finn, I appreciate your care but I'm not helpless, you know. I can take care of myself and I have. I handled it. I showed them up, proved to them that they can't hurt me and that they will never be able to touch me again," he finished with his chin up.
"I just really wish you wouldn't have to, dude."
"So do I but that's life and I've learned to deal with it," Kurt replied decidedly. "You should, too, or you'll get yourself hurt or expelled and then I will have to kill you."
Finn let out a soft chuckle and he was relieved to see the shorter boy was smiling, too. He tried to touch his jaw gingerly but Kurt snapped his fingers away. He went to the fridge and took out a bag of frozen peas.
"Ugh, I hate peas," Finn said taking the bag from him.
"So do I," Kurt replied. "That's why we're using them. That way Carole won't be able to cook them for dinner tomorrow," he said with a mischievous smile.
Finn smiled back and slowly put the bag to his face, the cold seeping into his skin and alleviating the pain, which he welcomed with a grateful sigh.
"Thanks, man," he looked up at Kurt. "So, are you really fine? Because I can beat the whole school on Monday, too."
Kurt stared him down. "No, you can't. And I swear I'm going to start charging money from every person who asks me if I'm fine."
"Dude, seriously. It's me. You can tell me everything," he put a hand on his shoulder. "You know I won't tell anyone. Partly because I probably won't understand half of what you're saying anyway."
"I'm fine."
Finn seemed to be disappointed but he didn't press and Kurt was very grateful for that. He was most definitely not fine but if he allowed himself to dwell on that, he'd start crying again and he'd already done enough of that for one evening. And he didn't want to break down in the kitchen in front of Finn. There would be time for that later when he was alone in his bed.
"But if you're not, you'll tell me, ok?"
"Of course," he replied quickly. "Now stop with the Inquisition and go to bed."
He knew he sounded snippy but Finn was sometimes terrible at reading moods and this was definitely one of those times.
"What's the Inquisition?"
Definitely.
"Go to bed, Finn."
XxXxXxX
Kurt welcomed the silence of his room with a sigh after he had to almost physically kick Finn out and threaten him with bodily harm.
With a shake of his head, he stepped into the shower. After doing his nightly routine he put on his oldest and most comfortable pajamas and dug himself deep under the covers in hope of falling asleep quickly. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. The utter humiliation and mortification he'd felt when the lime light turned on him, the whole school staring, the silence so thick you could cut it with a knife...it all came back as soon as he closed his eyes. This time he let the tears fall.
When the dawn was starting to set in and the sky slowly segued from the black of night into a rosy dawn, he drifted off into a numb, uneasy slumber. At about this point his door creaked open and someone shuffled in rather clumsily. He felt his bed dip slightly to the side as someone sat on it.
"Kurt? You're sleeping?"
"No, I'm playing soccer," he mumbled turning his back to Finn. "G'way."
A silence followed and Kurt relaxed.
"How about now?"
He groaned. "YES. Leave. Now."
"Ok. One thing, though," Finn whispered and then Kurt heard the strings of the guitar. "I've been learning this for the last couple of hours."
Kurt cracked one watery eye open, and Finn's form swam into focus.
"You're insane," he groaned.
"In the best sense of the word, right?" Finn replied nonplussed.
"This is not a compliment, Finn," he hissed as the other boy continued to strum his guitar. It was his new instrument of choice after their parents had banned the drums at home last week because the neighbors had finally had enough. "Do you want to wake the whole neighborhood up? Again?"
"No, just you," Finn said nonchalantly.
Kurt huffed and put a pillow over his head. He heard the other boy chuckle and felt the bed shift as if Finn was moving. Then the pillow was pried from his hands.
"I really want you to hear this," he said almost bouncing off the bed in excitement.
"You had coffee, didn't you?" Kurt asked in exasperation watching Finn further shift and bounce like a hyper puppy.
"A little. I was really sleepy and I had to get this done."
"Couldn't it wait till morning?"
Finn scratched his head. "Huh. I guess it could...didn't think of that. But you're already awake now so..."
Kurt groaned. "I'm not awake. You woke me."
"Are you very mad at me?" he asked weakly and for the first time he thought maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
"Not at all," the countertenor replied. "I'm planning your death, but in a happy way."
Finn shifted uneasily. "I'm sorry, Kurt. It's just...I haven't been there for you today and I'm really sorry about that."
Kurt sighed. "And you had to say this at two in the morning?"
"I couldn't stand the thought you're angry or disappointed with me."
"Finn, I'm not angry or disappointed," Kurt said, the barb gone from his voice as he saw how worked up Finn was about this. "It's ok. I'm ok. Blaine was there and it all turned out fine."
"But it didn't have to!" the taller boy said angrily. "And I wasn't there! And I promised to you and to Burt I'd take care you. And I really want to because you're like one of the most important people in my life..." he let his voice trail.
Kurt's eyes became wider and wider as Finn went on with his tirade but at this moment they must have reached the size of saucers. He had no idea the other boy felt so much for him.
"Jesse packed in more than one punch to your head tonight, didn't he?" he asked wryly but his soft smile offset his words.
Finn looked at him reproachfully. "I am perfectly capable of expressing my feelings without being punched," he huffed and Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm starting to have second thoughts on whether you deserve this."
"You've already woken me up, managed to irritate me and crumple my sheets," he said with a scowl but in truth he was curious what was it that Finn had prepared especially for him in the middle of the night. "Do you really want to tell me it's been for nothing? I might not take it very well."
"When you put it like that...no, I guess," Finn gave in with that lopsided smile of his and started on the guitar. "Listen to the lyrics, ok?"
The song was out of Kurt's usual wheelhouse but it was definitely in Finn's and the countertenor found himself entranced by his stepbrother's unusually subdued yet somehow much deeper and richer voice.
Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough
You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone
Kurt sat up hugging his pillow, his attention now undividedly on Finn. The taller boy smiled at him sheepishly and his voice became steadier.
We fight all the time
You and I...that's alright
We're the same soul
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say
That if we weren't so alike
You'd like me a whole lot more
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone
Finn put his whole heart into the words, and looking at his stepbrother, he knew he was getting his message, and what's more important, he believed it. He couldn't help but wonder inwardly at how different Kurt looked from the Kurt at Prom tonight, and he also looked about eleven in his loose pajamas and disheveled hair. Finn felt an overwhelming urge to protect him no matter what.
I know that we don't talk
I'm sick of it all
Can you hear me when I sing,
you're the reason I sing
You're the reason why the opera is in me
Where are we now?
I've got to let you know
A house still doesn't make a home...
Finn finished putting a hand over the strings. They stayed in silence for a while and Kurt could no longer be angry with him. Only Finn had that unique talent to make Kurt feel irritation, endearment and complete love in less than five minutes. It was a rare gift.
Finn looked at Kurt uneasily but the smaller boy stayed silent, an unreadable expression on his face. He stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets awkwardly.
"Um, ok," he mumbled, shifting from foot to foot. "So...that's that. I'll be going then. Sorry."
"Finn," Kurt finally spoke and his hand shot out, grabbing Finn's wrist and stopping him. "Thank you."
Finn grinned and put his arms around his brother. "You're welcome."
Kurt didn't push him away but clung to Finn for a moment, taking in the comfort his stepbrother's arms offered. He exhaled shakily, trying to regain some of his composure.
"You've become quite good at making me cry with your singing," he said wryly moving away from the other boy. "And I'm holding that against you. Damn sap," he sniffed.
"I consider it my special gift," Finn grinned at him. "But hey, at least this time I'm not making you dance," he added nudging Kurt in the side. Then his expression became serious. "Talk to me?" he ventured. "I know I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I know tonight hurt you. You're tough and strong and stuff, and I admire that, but please don't shut me out?"
Kurt let out a shaky sigh but there was such genuine care and earnestness in Finn's gaze that he decided to give in.
"I was so happy to return to McKinley and it seemed everything would be better now. Dave turning himself around, no more locker body checking, no more slushies," Kurt took in a ragged breath. "For once, I felt safe. And this…this…nothing's changed, Finn."
The taller boy sighed, feeling lost and more than a little out of his depth. But this was Kurt and the fact that he trusted him enough to include him in his life and pour his heart out like this, the normally inhibited person that he was, was enough to make him get his act together and try. Even if he sucked at this.
"Kurt, you've changed," he tried. The countertenor looked at him confusedly so he cleared his throat and continued. "And tonight…you showed it to the whole world and yourself. Don't you see what you did?"
Kurt looked at him questioningly.
"You stayed," Finn enunciated, feeling more sure of what he was saying with every word. "You didn't run away, Kurt. You faced them with your head high and showed them they can't touch you. You won tonight and they all lost," he said earnestly and the smaller boy regarded him carefully for a while. "That's big, man."
"How did you get to be so insightful, Finn?"
"Ok, I'm not sure what that means…but if it's something good, I guess it comes from being your brother," Finn mumbled.
"Again with the sappy one-liners."
"Come on, you like them."
"And I've got you to blame for that."
Finn grinned at him. "Plus, from what I hear, you got that Prom slow dance with your bf you've mentioned once or fifty times," he added wryly nudging him in the side.
Kurt let out a teary chuckle and Finn ruffled his hair.
"You're a legend now, Kurt. The first male Prom Queen ever. And you're still more man than they will ever be."
Kurt looked at him with love and admiration and Finn knew this was one of those moments in life that made it all worth it.
Suddenly the silence was pierced by the telephone downstairs. They both held their breaths. There was shuffling and they heard Burt answer. The conversation was quite short.
"Finn Hudson, Kurt Hummel, the neighbors didn't appreciate the 2 am concert," Burt said loudly. "I'm coming up and if I find you out of your rooms or anywhere near any musical equipment, you'll get so much house arrest, your grandchildren will be grounded."
Kurt and Finn looked at each other.
"Crap."
So, this was wordy...and this story has just reached over 100 000 words! I wouldn't have done it without your support, guys! Thank you!
On that note, I hope I didn't make your eyes hurt and that you've enjoyed this:) I know this wasn't the usual crazy Furt but I felt so so bad for Kurt and just wanted to hug him and make it up to him somehow! I couldn't do it myself so I had Finn do it:)
Reviews make Kurt smile. And me too;)
* I know we didn't see Jesse hit Finn on screen but let's just assume he did manage to squeeze in a punch somewhere;)
** Finn's song is U2's 'Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own' and it's not mine. But it's awesome:)