Being Dysfunctional Has Never Been So Much Fun
Short #35: Achoo!
Cornelia, the (now very damp and soggy) third class priest, sniffed. She felt horrible; like a pile of wet clothes that had just been pulled out of the washing machine and then dumped on the cold, hard floor. Or maybe she felt more like a piece of cereal drifting about aimlessly in a bowl of milk.
It was difficult to tell.
Whilst the snow was beautiful, having handfuls of said snow trickling down her back wasn't. If anything, it was very painful and rather uncomfortable.
The poor, frost-bitten girl shuddered, trying to ward off the cold through sheer willpower. She was a member of Eiserne Jungfrau and she would wear their (admittedly rather impractical) outfit with pride!
Pride, and a side order of icy humiliation.
She sniffed miserably, shifting about in her chair- a pathetic attempt to generate more heat. It didn't work. Cornelia tried to focus on her paperwork, but it was almost impossible.
She wanted to go home.
T-this was just a test, though, Cornelia tried to reason with herself. Dlanor had only thrown that snowball at her because it was a surprise test of… endurance, maybe? To see how much hardship she could suffer before she cracked under pressure? That must have been it! The great Dlanor A. Knox- Death Sentence Dlanor- did not do things pointlessly, and definitely not for her own amusement! That cat-like smile had been… a delusion on Cornelia's part, perhaps.
A delusion brought about by the cold.
It really was quite cold- in case Cornelia's mind hadn't registered that already.
Nevertheless, Cornelia would not fail this test! She would prove to Dlanor she could continue working under strenuous, uncomfortable conditions! Maybe this was standard protocol all priests went through? Maybe this was a test designed to cull the best members of Eiserne Jungfrau from the worst! Cornelia had only been working with Eiserne Jungfrau for a few months; it seemed only logical they would want to examine her resolve and commitment at some point.
That must have been it.
That was definitely it!
Cornelia would persevere with her work even if it killed her (and it very well might). She would show them just how serious she was about her profession! The snow could not stop her now!
With that happy thought in mind (which had successfully, if only for a few moments, managed to derail the constant stream of I'm cold I'm cold I'm cold running through her brain) Cornelia turned back to the documents she had been sorting-
When she felt something build up inside her.
Something colossal.
Something immense.
Something that could raze fields and eradicate buildings and strike down legions upon legions of helpless, screaming bystanders; something that could alter the course of history and change the world and maybe, even, destroy it…!
I-it was building up, like a giant creature awaking from a centuries long sleep under the ocean. Cornelia could feel it stirring within her.
I-it was coming-!
I-it was going to destroy the world!
"A-a-a…Achoo!"
Or, alternatively, it was going to send the documents Cornelia oh-so-carefully sorted scattering to the floor.
Which was just as bad as the end of the world in Cornelia's eyes.
Cornelia spent the rest of the day with a running nose and a pounding headache, sneezing every single time she'd managed to convince herself she wasn't going to sneeze anymore.
It was okay, though.
It was just a test.
…
…
…It better have been a test.