Disclaimer: Not mine. Etc.
Ah! My Goddess!
Haloes
Chapter 37
Ruins Part 2
"Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins..."
Green Day
"21 Guns"
"Making their waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay the only way they know how!" the drunken goddess crooned as she lay on her back on the kitchen table, her finger pointed at the ceiling. "That's just a little bit more than the law will allow!"
Standing off to the side, Urd rubbed her temples and threw a glare at her mother. "I can't believe that I actually know less than when this started," she bit out.
Hild shrugged, her index finger running lightly up and down the chord on Sif's viola, keeping her in a pliable state. "Too late to turn back now," she pointed out.
Was it? Urd swallowed in shame as her eyes went back to her friend. The gravity of what she was doing fell upon her like a piano dropped from a tenth-story window in an old Looney Toons short. Sif had always been there for her, had opened the door to a cure for her aphasia, and now, while she knew the blonde had lied to her, she also knew that whatever it was she had done, it had been in support of her husband.
And she trusted Keiichi. Implicitly.
"Stop it," she whispered to Hild.
The demoness gave her a surprised look. "You're giving up?" she asked. "Already?"
"I'm not giving up," Urd told her. "I'm changing my mind. I don't want to do this anymore. Now stop it."
"She's been lying to you," Hild reminded her in a soft hiss.
"I know," Urd replied evenly. "And just from what little I've heard, she and Keiichi have crossed some line. That doesn't mean I have to follow them over it."
Hild glared at her for a moment before turning to Sif. "Sif, honey? Did you lie to Urd?"
"Stop it!" Urd hissed at her.
"Oh, boy, did we," Sif announced. "You see," she began, holding a wavering finger in the air. "After... after she finally came back... Keiiiii... Keiiiiichiiii... that guy... he was just terrified that if she knew what had really happened... that she would just go bonkers again!"
"Sif! Shut up!" Urd commanded.
"No, Sif!" Hild countermanded. "Tell us more."
The blonde sighed. "I don't want to," she moaned. "It's not my fault. I didn't want to. It's not fair, don't you see? I lost everything..."
Urd paused as she heard her friend start to cry.
"All I ever wanted... was to help," Sif sobbed drunkenly. "But..." She held a finger up again, as if pointing to some mountaintop in the middle-distance. "Sacrifice... is the role of a goddess... It's what I thought Belldandy would want..." She turned her moist eyes to them. "I didn't want them to hurt Keiichi... not after everything he'd been through." She turned back to the ceiling and sniffled. "Please stop," she whispered quietly.
Hild flinched as Urd grabbed her arm and yanked downward, sending Ameri to the floor. The viola, free of its prison, disappeared, and they heard Sif give a quick intake of breath as she came to her senses again.
Urd rushed to the musician's side and looked down at her. "Sif? Are you okay?"
Sif wouldn't look at her. She stared to the right, at the wall, and refused to meet her friend's gaze.
"Oh, Urd," she whispered. "How could you?"
The Norn felt like she had been punched in the stomach. "I'm sorry," she said.
She stepped away as Sif suddenly sat up, still refusing to face the Norn. "You want to know? That much? You want to know so badly you would rape another goddess's mind?" Sif finally turned to her, her eyes alight with devastated humiliation and anger.
Urd flinched at the accusatory tone, knowing she deserved it. "I guess so," she whispered.
"Very well," she replied, her tone taking on an official haughtiness to it. "Where would you like me to start?"
The question threw Urd. "At the beginning, I suppose."
"My beginning, Keiichi san's beginning or her beginning?" Sif retorted with an angry nod toward Hild.
"Sif..."
"I assume once I tell her everything, I am free to go?" Sif asked, directing her question to Hild.
The demoness shrugged. "It's your barrier. As far as I'm concerned, once you drop it, you can do whatever you like... assuming you allow me to do the same."
Sif directed her glare at her friend. "Very well. My part in it begins with Kiyoshi Takeda..."
Four years ago...
"I'm afraid I'm having a hard time understanding your reasoning," Athena asked from her position at the raised center dais. "A mortal is granted only one wish. Whether or not that wish brings them happiness depends on what they make of it, yes?"
Standing before the triad of judges, Sif took a breath. She had anticipated this question and had prepared for it. "Traditionally, that has been how the instructions surrounding the granting of wishes has been interpreted, however, that is placing the form over the substance. The purpose of granting wishes to the mortals judged deserving of them is to grant them happiness that has eluded them unfairly through some failing on Heaven's part. If that wish fails to bring them happiness, it is easy to wipe our hands of it and say 'we lived up to our part,' but in the end the mortal is still unhappy and Heaven has not altered that situation."
Sif's eyes darted to the right as the goddess sitting to Athena's left spoke. Tsunami, she knew, was a former granter and known for her compassion. If anyone was to vote on her side, it would be her. But she was still a judge and had a responsibility to question her aggressively.
"Every mortal is issued the standard disclaimer," the blue-haired goddess reminded her. "They are to be given anything they want, but they only get one wish. Why is it then, as you argue, that Heaven bears some measure of responsibility if the wish does not live up to their expectations?"
"Because our very arrival places them in an agitated state of mind," Sif replied. "The average time between a goddess's appearance to a mortal and a wish being granted is five minutes. In that time, a mortal is being confronted with truths they never anticipated having to face and a situation they could never have comprehended before. How can we possibly assume then that they are in a state of mind to think clearly? We are not talking about giving someone a completely different wish. We are suggesting that a wish, ill-spoken, can and should be corrected to ensure the wisher's satisfaction. In the case before us, Kiyoshi Takeda knew what she wanted but phrased her wish awkwardly. In the end, her wish, as stated, was fulfilled, but the wish she thought she was making was not."
"Your Honors, if I may?" a new voice from behind Sif spoke up, causing the goddess to turn.
Athena nodded. "The council recognizes the representative from the Earth Help Center."
Sif's eyes tracked Peorth as the goddess stepped forward to speak. "Such a situation is not without precedent," she began. "Approximately nine years ago, a wish was granted to a mortal named Keiichi Morisato."
"Yes," the god on Athena's right, Dellingr, murmured. "We are all quite familiar with the unusual case of Keiichi Morisato."
"Then you know that in that case, the wish he originally made was... incomplete, and in fact it was the yearning to complete that wish that prompted his qualification for a second wish from my own hand."
"Are you saying that the wish you granted to Keiichi Morisato was not a unique wish standing on its own merits... but a way to correct his previous wish?" Tsunami asked.
"That was my feeling of the situation," Peorth told her. "In the end, I believe he felt his original wish had been fully granted and that the wish I granted him led to it. In that light, it is not unreasonable to say that a precedent for granting a 'supplemental wish' has been established."
Athena sat back and thought on this for several moments. "Very well. I believe we've heard enough. The council will adjourn for now and bring you our decision as soon as one is reached." She rose to her feet, prompting the other deities on either side of her to do the same. "The council thanks you for your time."
"Thank you," Sif replied with a formal bow. She waited for the three council members to leave the chamber before rising again. She smiled. "I think that went well."
She turned and found Peorth walking away. "Peorth kun!"
The French goddess stopped and turned as Sif rushed to her, stopping to bow in thanks. "I just wanted to say thank you," Sif told her. "What you said helped."
Peorth smiled. "It was my pleasure, cheri." Her voice turned wistful. "I happen to believe that if we intend to grant a mortal their heart's desire... we should do whatever it takes to see it done."
Sif smiled uncomfortably, knowing the source of Peorth's conviction.
"How are they, incidentally?" Peorth asked casually.
"Well," Sif told her. "They are expecting their first child, a girl."
Peorth smiled, a sincere expression of her happiness for them. "I'm glad," she said. She paused for a moment, and Sif dove into it.
"Peorth kun," she began. "I want you to know... I don't agree with what you did, but I understand why and what you were hoping to accomplish. I know you meant well."
The other goddess chuckled sadly. "I'm glad someone does. I really am happy for them. I just wish I had known the outcome beforehand. If I had honestly thought it would turn out all right... I would never have..."
"I know," Sif told her. "Perhaps... you should talk to them."
"I'm not welcome there anymore," Peorth explained sadly. "I can only hope one day things will cool off enough for me to try again." She smiled tightly. "C'est la vie."
Before Sif could continue, another voice broke in. "Sif? Do you have a moment?"
Turning, the blonde saw Freya standing there. She stiffened in the presence of her boss and nodded quickly. "Of course, Freya sama!" She turned back to Peorth. "Will you excuse me?"
"Of course," Peorth told her. "And Sif... Good luck."
"And to you," Sif replied with a short bow. As Peorth walked away, Sif turned to the older goddess who was waiting graciously for her to finish. "I'm sorry."
"No need to apologize, Sif," Freya told her. "Shall we walk?"
"Indeed," the blonde agreed, falling into step with her boss as the elder granter led her out of the council chambers and out into the marble outdoor walkway that overlooked Central Dogma's courtyard. The sun was shining brightly today, and the verdant green courtyard was teeming with people.
"I was impressed by your arguments today," Freya told her without preamble. "Your interpretation of the granting instructions is... radical," she finally settled on. "But not, I believe, in a bad way."
"Thank you, Freya sama," Sif replied, mindful of her place and saying no more.
"That you initiated such an argument without a request from the grantee is the kind of dedication to our purpose that marks a truly great granter," Freya went on. "Your record in other respects has been quite distinguished."
"Thank you, Freya sama," Sif repeated.
"And it is because of your distinguished service and your dedication to your clients that I have decided to approach you with a new assignment," Freya went on, stopping at a balcony overlooking the Styx.
"It is my role to serve, and I shall do so in whatever capacity your require, Freya sama," Sif spoke the standard reply from memory.
Freya turned from the view and smiled. "Sif, this is not an order. This assignment is strictly voluntary, but one of the utmost importance."
Sif nodded, wondering what mission the head of the Help Line could give her that would be so solemn. Whatever it was, the goddess resolved to accept it. Any mission so important that it required volunteers must be vital to Heaven itself.
The elder goddess turned back to the view. "Night is falling on my term as director of the Help Line, Sif," she began. "I have done my best to leave it better than when I found it. I would like my last act as director to be in the spirit of this effort."
"I understand, Freya sama," Sif responded automatically.
Freya turned to her and arched an eyebrow. "Do you?"
Sif froze. "Well... truthfully... no, Freya sama. Is there some change in the Help Line you would like me to help you make before you retire? Or perhaps, do you wish to grant a wish yourself as a final gesture?"
The director smiled. "Sif, it is my intent to leave the Help Line better than when I found it. To do that I must make certain that the next director is one who will do the job better than I have."
"And you would like me to help you find this person," Sif concluded.
"Sif, you are this person," Freya told her.
The blonde froze. "Um... What?"
Freya rested a hand on the young goddess's shoulder. "I intend for you to succeed me as director of the Goddess Help Line.
Sif gasped, her hand going to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. "M...Me?"
"Yes," Freya replied, amused by the young woman's reaction. "I can think of no one else who could care for our girls and our clients better than you."
"I... I... I am honored!" Sif cried. "And moved! Deeply moved that you would entrust me with so much, Freya sama!"
As she continued to gush her thanks, she heard her cell phone ring. Snatching it up on instinct, she saw Keiichi's name in the "Call from" box and opened it.
"Keiichi san! You'll never believe what..." She trailed off as the mortal's words came spilling over her own, her jaw dropping at the message they were laying at her feet. "Keiichi san! Stay there! I'll get Nyd and be there as soon as we can! Just stay with her!"
She shut the phone and turned to Freya's concerned visage.
"There's something wrong with Urd," Sif explained quickly.
888
Sif had to rush to keep up with her cousin as Nyd stalked down the hospital corridor as if he owned it. Keiichi's frantic call had been short on details, so she had had none to offer Nyd in way of explanation or of what to expect. All she knew was that Urd had collapsed and wouldn't wake up.
Physiologically speaking, goddesses were quite different from mortals, so the idea that some mortal doctor would try to treat Urd was frightening. Confronted with completely different vital signs, they might resort to something drastic, like cutting her open, and that meant the two of them had to move quickly.
When they found the room they were looking for, Nyd opened the door, and Sif found what she thought she might. Two mortal doctors were debating what to do while Keiichi sat next to a bed occupied by an unconscious Urd Morisato.
Nyd didn't miss a beat. Stepping toward the unconscious goddess, he summarily dismissed the other two physicians as he pulled out a pair of translucent gloves.
"Thank you, gentlemen," he said quickly. "I think we can take it from here."
"Who are you?" the first mortal doctor asked.
"Mrs. Morisato's personal physician," Nyd replied, pulling open one of Urd's eyes and checking her pupils.
"Well, that's all well and good, but here..."
This wasn't the time for comparing dick sizes, and Keiichi knew it. Taking both men's arms, he practically dragged them to the door and pushed them out.
"You heard him!" he cried. "Out!" He slammed the door shut and locked it.
"Thank you, Mr. Morisato," Nyd muttered, intent on his examination of Urd.
Sif and Keiichi closed the window blinds as Nyd took up a position to Urd's right. He placed his left hand on Urd's right arm and his right on her leg. Then, closing his eyes, he turned his hands over and held them into the air as if lifting something. A glowing three-dimensional image of Urd floated into the air before them.
"Okay," Nyd muttered. "Let's see what we can see..."
Moving his hands as if conducting a symphony, Nyd manipulated the image, zooming in on potential trouble-spots such as the goddess's head and heart.
"Her mind has shut itself off," he announced quietly, still deep in thought. "The synapses are firing just enough to keep her going, like she left the pilot light on."
Zooming out for a moment, he regarded the image critically. "Huh," he remarked in puzzlement.
"What?" Keiichi asked, seizing on the comment. "What is it?"
Nyd didn't respond. He snapped his fingers and waved his hand to the right. The model went from shades of yellow to hues of blue and green. He snapped his fingers again, and the image went gray.
Sif swallowed as she realized what her cousin was searching for but not finding.
"Cousin?" she asked quietly.
He waved three more times, changing the spectrum each time, and took a breath.
"What?" Keiichi asked, sensing the change. "What is it?"
Nyd cleared his throat. His attention on the physician-god, Keiichi didn't realize that Sif was hugging him until her arms were wrapped around him.
"Keiichi," she whispered. "Keiichi, I'm so sorry."
The Present...
"It's funny," Sif said, her eyes cast down at the floor. "How Fate can conspire with Fortune to see to it that the happiest day of your life must share a memory with one of the worst." She looked up and found Urd leaning over the sink. "He... didn't truly understand at first," she went on. "Mi... such things... are much more commonplace here on Earth. He didn't understand that... that it almost would have been easier if it had happened after she was born..."
Urd's hands gripped the edge of the sink so hard her knuckles were turning white.
"Your mind had shut down to protect you," Sif explained. "Like a surge protector. Or... perhaps it was World of Elegance who put you down, a coma so deep that conscious thought and memory was impossible. Nyd said... such things were common for... others."
"I don't remember it," Urd confessed in a whisper.
"That was the point," Sif reminded her. "Even when you finally did wake up, it was like you were sleepwalking. You talked, but it was like... like you were in a trance. Sometimes you would say things that didn't make sense..." She shook her head. "Until we realized you were speaking from a distant memory, your mind placing you in a time long before this thing had happened."
Urd took a deep breath and shut her eyes.
"How much do you remember of that time?" Sif asked her.
"I don't," Urd admitted weakly. "I remember... it... happening... But I don't remember what came after. Not until..."
"It's okay now," Keiichi whispered to her, his arms wrapped around her. "Everything's going to be okay now..."
Urd cleared her throat, her hand going to the top button of her shirt and pulling it open, trying to find air.
"Keiichi san was strong, Urd," Sif went on quietly. "He had to be. Most mortal couples to whom this tragedy happens can cling to one another, but he had no one..."
Four years ago...
"Urd?" he whispered. "Urd?"
He sat there, waiting for her to acknowledge him. He knew by now it could take a minute or two, almost like waiting for the screensaver on a really old computer to quit. You just had to be patient.
Her eyes turned toward him, vacant, dull. There was no shine in them anymore, no mischievous glimmer. It was like a doll's eyes. It made him shiver.
"I'm sorry, Keiichi," she whispered slowly. "Is it time for work?"
"No, Angel," he whispered back. "It's breakfast time. I made you some soup, okay?"
"Oh," she said, and a puzzled expression fell over her eyes. "Is Belldandy sick? She usually cooks."
He swallowed dryly. Keiichi had given up trying to explain where Belldandy was after the fourth day, which had been about a week after she had come out of her coma. That was nearly a month ago now.
"She's not here right now," he said instead.
"Oh, okay," Urd whispered.
He placed the bowl in front of her, and she automatically took it in her hands, sipping loudly. When she was finished, he wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin.
"Thank you, Keiichi," she whispered.
Keiichi sat back and watched her for several moments, waiting for her to do something, move, speak something... But it was like she had been for the last month. Her mind was on autopilot, reacting only when prompted and doing so by pulling things randomly out of her head that might fulfill the need. If he didn't sit down and remind her, she wouldn't even eat.
How fast things could go to shit. A month ago they had it all. Now... He swallowed and leaned back, looking up at the ceiling.
Now it was like the whole world was ending.
Nyd was confident she would come out of it... eventually. But that wouldn't be the end. If anything, Nyd had said, what was to follow would be much much worse.
How much worse could it be, he wondered? At least if she came out of this walking coma, they could face what had happened to Gersemi together, talk about it, hold each other, cry together. Right now there was nothing.
He swallowed back tears.
Don't you cry, he told himself. Do you hear me? You can't afford it right now. Urd needs you to be strong. Don't cry...
He closed his eyes, his hand going to his forehead as he took a breath. He just wanted to... just... he didn't know.
Something! Anything!
But don't cry...
He folded his hands in front of his face and watched her as she stared off into space. It was almost like the time she was paralyzed. He had to bathe her, feed her, dress her, but at least back then she could talk to him, call him an idiot.
He would do anything right now to hear her call him an idiot.
But she wouldn't. He usually talked to her, tried to establish some kind of conscious connection, but whenever he paused to wait for an answer, she would only move her head a few degrees and reply with, "I'm sorry, what?"
He just couldn't do it this morning, so he watched her. Maybe she would get uncomfortable with the silence and say something.
The knock at the front door tore through the house like a gunshot, and he jumped in his seat. Urd didn't even blink.
"Coming!" he called. Despite this promise, he sat there a moment later, watching her before rising to his feet and starting slowly for the door.
When he opened the door, he found Mischa on the other side, leaning on his cane with one hand and holding a covered dish with the other. The Russian stood there in silence for a moment, obviously uncomfortable.
"Moreysaw-toe," he said in greeting. "I come to check on you."
Keiichi nodded, half in thanks for the gesture, half in simple acknowledgement. "She's um... the same," he told him quietly.
Mischa nodded and cleared his throat. "Ah," he said simply. He held the dish up. "I... ah... I made kasha for you," he said. "I... don't know if appropriate, but... I thought... it is hearty and easy to eat and maybe... if you did not have to cook... I..."
"Thanks, Mischa," Keiichi said quietly.
The engineer nodded again, thankful that Keiichi had cut him off from his awkward speech on the benefits of porridge.
"Moreysaw-toe," he began again. "I know... I know this will sound... er... not good," he said quietly. "But... bad things that happen like this... they fade away... after time. It will be good again."
"I'm having a hard time believing that right now, Mischa," Keiichi told him quietly. "I just..." He shook his head. "I just keep going over it in my head. Wondering about the signs. I asked her to see a doctor, and she said she was okay, and what the hell do I know, right?"
"Bad things happen, Moreysaw-toe," Mischa said sympathetically. "Is no one's fault that they happen. It just happen."
"It shouldn't have happened here," Keiichi told him. "Not like this."
"You want company?" Mischa asked. "I can stay. Talk. Like the bros."
Keiichi let out a short chuckle, his fingers running through his hair.
Don't cry...
"No," he said instead. "I'm okay."
Mischa didn't look like he believed it, but nodded anyway. "Okay. I come tomorrow and bring more kasha," he said. "You eat. Keep you strong."
"Yeah," Keiichi promised absently. "Yeah, I will."
The Russian gave him one last nod and turned to go. Keiichi closed the door and brought the bowl of porridge into the kitchen.
He wondered briefly how well it would reheat and stuck it in the refrigerator. A sound in the hallway made him turn, and he found Urd standing in the kitchen door.
"Is Belldandy back yet?" Urd asked.
"No," he told her evenly. "Not yet."
"Oh." With that, she turned and walked into the living room. Keiichi watched her walk away and let out a breath.
Don't cry.
888
Keiichi sat down in front of the TV and turned it on, quickly turning the volume low so that it wouldn't wake his wife down the hall. He looked absently at the clock as he flipped through the channels, almost eleven.
It was hard to sleep next to Urd now. She would lay there, obediently waiting to fall asleep, and once she did...
The first time it happened, he thought he had been dreaming. Then he thought maybe everything that had happened was the dream. But no, it was neither. She would lay there, asleep... singing the lullaby she used to sing to Gersemi every night before bed, the tones coming in a whisper under her breath. She would wake up the next morning with no indication that she remembered anything and blissfully unaware that she had been emotionally gutting him for half the night.
So he had taken to putting her to bed and watching TV for a bit before joining her again.
He was tired, tired all the time now. It wouldn't be much longer, he knew, before Sif would arrive again. The goddess had promised she'd return to help, but she had assignments in Heaven that had to be completed before she could come down and stay for any duration, and she had told him it would be better to get those done and out of the way now, while Urd was still... like this... than later when she would be much worse.
"That, Keiichi san, is when you will truly need help," she had warned him.
He found an old Harry Potter movie and settled in, intent on waiting an hour or so before going to bed.
He blinked, and suddenly found Harry Potter a year older. The clock now read one a.m. He had fallen asleep. Standing, he started down the hall, but stopped suddenly as a voice floated toward him on the back of the darkness. Singing.
But it wasn't Urd.
Swallowing nervously, he crept forward and slowly pulled the bedroom door open.
It was hard to surprise Keiichi Morisato at this point after everything that had happened, but Hild had always had a knack for it. He stood there, watching as CEO of the Demon Realm lay on her side next to her daughter, holding her gently as she softly sang a haunting lullaby not too unlike the one Urd had sung.
He had trouble making out too much in the darkness, but there was something decidedly different about Hild. Gone was the low-cut dress and flashy jewelry. She was dressed entirely in black, even the stones in her earrings were cut from onyx, and the vial-seal she constantly wore around her neck was missing.
She looked up and caught sight of him. Her voice trailed off, and she slowly rose to her feet, walking silently past him into the hallway.
Keiichi shut the door and turned, following the demoness down the hall and into the kitchen before daring to speak, still wary of waking Urd.
"What are you doing here?" he asked point-blank.
"Tending to my daughter," Hild replied evenly as she opened the cupboard and found a bottle of sake. "Drink with me, Keiichi."
"Tea," he stated his answer. "I don't want to drink."
"Fair enough," she replied, pulling a pair of tea-cups from the shelf.
He sat down at the table and regarded her warily. Urd had warned him that she couldn't be trusted... ever... that things didn't work in Heaven and Hell the way they worked here on Earth. Was she here as a concerned mother or was she still, even now, trying to manipulate things?
"Keiichi, what happened here?" she asked quietly, her back to him.
For some reason the question, one hundred percent understandable, hit him like a punch in the gut. Perhaps because he had been asking himself that same question for a month.
"I don't know," he told her. "I wasn't here when it happened." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I keep... going over it in my mind... It just doesn't make any sense."
Hild put the pot of water on the stove and turned to him. For the first time, Keiichi could see that the glimmer in her eyes, the same he saw so often in Urd's, was also absent.
"What did your doctor friend say?" Hild asked.
Keiichi sighed. "He said the only thing he could think of was that because Gersemi was the product of three worlds... that... It was just too complicated. They just... they just couldn't mesh. He said he's seen it in a few other mixed pregnancies."
"I find that hard to believe," Hild told him quietly.
"Why?"
"Because my granddaughter would be stronger than that," she told him. "Much stronger." She took a few paces from the stove, her hands on her hips as she worked through it in her head. "Pound for pound, strictly talking about spiritual strength, Urd makes your average first-class goddess look like a bed-ridden old lady." She shook her head. "It's just hard to believe..."
"Bad things happen," Keiichi rationalized.
Hild said nothing for a moment. "You named her Gersemi?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said. "Urd's idea. Why?"
"Nothing," Hild replied distantly. "I just... didn't realize she had even had a name."
Keiichi took a breath. "I never... got a chance to know anything about her," he said. "She would commune with Urd... somehow... I never really understood it except that it was one of those goddess things."
"Oh, yes," Hild whispered. "When I carried Urd, we would speak all the time." She paused. "She didn't hate me back then. Didn't know me well enough, I suppose."
Keiichi said nothing.
"Do you think I did this?" Hild finally asked.
Keiichi looked at her in surprise. "What?"
There was something in the older demon's eyes, the knowledge that past sins would condemn her for this event without benefit of a trial.
He tried to envision Hild doing something like that and couldn't picture it, even at her most twisted and sadistic, it was a bridge too far.
"No," he said, shaking his head. "I could see you doing it to someone else... but not to Urd."
It was a backhanded slap, but Hild took it. "There are some lines, Keiichi, that you simply don't cross." She took the teapot off the stove and poured for them. "I never told you this... but I'm glad you and she got married."
"Why?" he asked.
She smiled. "You really want to know?"
He nodded.
The demoness handed him his tea before continuing. "The day Urd told me she wanted to be a goddess, I knew I had lost her. As bad as other goddesses might think she is, she doesn't have that... that need for cruelty. She would never fit in in the demon realm. Well," she amended. "Enough perhaps to live among them as she does now in Heaven... but never enough to be truly comfortable."
Keiichi absorbed this, and the demon queen continued.
"Likewise in Heaven, she will always be inferior," she said. "Looked down upon by goddesses with only half her strength and talent, and she would always feel that." Her eyes found him. "But you... here... you are the ironic compromise. You, like all mortals, walk the line between light and shadow. You may want to be a good person, but you will occasionally slip into darkness. Just like she does. The difference is, here on Earth, that's normal. A man like you, Keiichi, is the closest she will ever get to having someone who truly understands her. That couldn't happen in the Demon Realm, and it can't happen in Heaven."
He was silent as other questions came to the fore. "Will she ever be her old self again?" he asked.
"Yes," Hild said quickly. "With time. The wound will heal. They always do. The question you should worry about is, 'how long?'"
The young man found her eyes free of malice as she continued. "Because, Keiichi, she may get better a month from now, a year from now... or she might not recover in your lifetime."
The Present...
Urd hung onto the counter for dear life and found something else for her mind to latch onto. "You were here?" she asked pointedly.
"Yes, I was," Hild told her frankly. Her eyes narrowed as she watched her daughter. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," Urd bit out.
"We can stop," Sif offered.
"No," Hild and Urd said simultaneously.
"She's going to break," Sif argued toward Hild.
"I want her to break," the demoness replied quietly.
The blonde looked at her horror. "What kind of..." She bit her lip. "You're just a regular monster, aren't you?"
Hild was across the room, her eyes inches from Sif's, within a second. "No, my dear, I am an incredibly powerful monster, and I suggest you start remembering that."
"Both of you shut up!" Urd ground out between clenched teeth as she concentrated on breathing over the sink. She had never had a full accounting of the events just after her daughter's death, and hearing it was pushing her further and further to the edge. It was only sheer will and curiosity that kept her from tears.
Hild rose to her full height and stepped back from Sif. "Please continue, Sif chan," she invited.
"No," Sif told her, jumping to her feet. "I don't know why you would want to break her mind like that, but I refuse to be a part of it!" She widened her stance and raised her hands. "And if I must fight you to prevent you from forcing me to assist you then so be it!"
"Sif, it's okay," Urd breathed.
"It's not okay!" Sif shot back. "This is what we've been trying to prevent for four years!"
"Maybe you shouldn't have," Urd told her.
Hild and Sif looked at her in surprise, watching her leaning over the sink as she held onto sanity. "Maybe I don't want to live a life where I can't even say my own daughter's name. Maybe going over the edge is worth it. Now... keep... going..."
Sif regarded her carefully for a moment, wondering what she was going to say to Keiichi when this was over.
"Very well."
Four years ago...
Keiichi lifted the spoonful of kasha and wondered if it was worth the risk to try it. Lord only knew what kind of cook Mischa was. Sighing and giving up, he tossed the spoon back in the bowl, causing a drop of the thick sludge to splash onto the table next to it.
He let out a breath and looked at the ceiling. They were going to need groceries soon, and if Sif hadn't arrived by then, he was going to have to ask Megumi to come over and watch Urd for him while he went out.
The engineer knew that if his wife were herself, she'd bristle at the idea that she needed a babysitter, probably smack him on the back of the head.
I miss her, he thought.
Don't cry.
A knock at the door tossed him from his thoughts, and he shook his head. "C'mon, Mischa," he grumbled. "Let me choke down the first bowl before you bring more."
He opened the door and stepped back a pace as a young woman pushed a tape recorder at his face while a slightly older man started taking pictures.
"You must be Keiichi!" the woman stated quickly. "I'm Kumiko, I'm with JP Weekly, we cover current events in style and entertainment. Are you Keiichi? Is Urd here?"
"Woah, wait!" Keiichi replied, holding his hand up. "Who are you?"
The woman gave a huff as if she were the one being inconvenienced. "I'm from JP Weekly. I'm doing a story on Urd Morisato. I understand a miscarriage is an emotionally trying time, that's why we waited a few weeks, but I was hoping you and your wife... mostly your wife... would be willing to talk about it in a one-on-one interview."
Keiichi blinked, overwhelmed. "Um... wait... No, look, if you want a comment from Whispers, you're going to have to talk to Ms. Teletha Tessatarossa."
He started to close the door, but the woman's foot found its way between it and the wall.
"Please, Mr. Morisato, all I'm looking to do is a tasteful piece on how this tragedy has affected the life and career of one of Japan's top models."
"No," Keiichi told her calmly, fully aware of how wonderful a picture of him punching out a reporter would look on the news stand. "Now please go awa..."
"I promise we'll be sensitive," Kumiko told him quickly. "The people have a right to know when a public figure such as your wife suffers a..."
"That's right!" Keiichi hissed at her. "She's suffering! Now leave her alone!"
"It's not every day a public figure as popular as your wife loses a baby," Kumiko argued.
"Baby?"
The sound of her voice filled his veins with ice water. It was the first hint of emotion he'd heard from her in weeks. Turning, he found Urd standing next to the counter, listening to them.
"Urd?" Keiichi whispered.
The goddess blinked, her hands moving down to her midsection. Her gaze seemed to turn inward, as if searching for something. She looked up at him again, her eyes wide and haunted. Her chest started to heave as she clutched for breath.
"Oh... oh, god," she whispered. "Keiichi..."
He bolted from the door just as Urd started to fall to the floor, kneeling next to her as she started hyperventilating.
"Keiichi! Keiichi! I can't feel her anymore! Why can't I feel her? What... I... Oh, god... Oh, god..."
"It's okay!" he whispered quickly, trying to soothe her. "It's okay." He winced as she grabbed his arm and squeezed hard enough leave marks.
A flash of light brought his attention back to the door where the photographer was snapping pictures from the doorway.
"GET OUT OF HERE!" he shouted at them.
His scream was overwhelmed by one from Urd, who wailed as she clutched her midsection. He turned his attention back to her.
"Urd! Urd!"
She doubled over in anguish, holding herself tight enough to rob herself of breath. Raising her head, she looked up at the ceiling. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?" she screamed.
"Urd, it's going to be okay..."
He watched as Urd suddenly jumped to her feet and started running down the hall. Keiichi climbed to his feet and went after her, hurrying as the sound of breaking wood and glass came rushing down the hallway.
"Urd!" he called as he stopped in the doorway of the nursery. His wife was tearing the room apart. The small changing table in the corner had been upended and the drawers removed.
"Urd!"
"Quiet!" she ordered. He shut his mouth and watched as she stood in the middle of the room, searching every nook and cranny with her eyes. "She's alive."
He blinked in shock. "What?" he whispered.
A smile stretched across her face, and she started to giggle. "She's alive! I can hear her! I can hear her, she's alive!" She laughed.
Keiichi felt a dreadful chill run up the center of his back. "Urd," he whispered. "Urd, listen to me." He licked his dry lips and hated the very idea that he had to say this. "She's gone. Nyd checked you over. Gersemi's..."
She shook her head. "No, no, I can hear her, Keiichi," she told him, begging him to understand it, accept it, believe it, confirm it...
He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Angel... she's not..."
She grabbed his arms. "NO! I CAN HEAR HER! I CAN HEAR HER CRYING! KEIICHI, SHE'S ALIVE! SHE'S ALIVE!"
The engineer, his eyes starting to moisten, grabbed her by the upper arms and shook her violently. "No, she's not!" he cried. "She's gone, Urd! She's GONE!"
She started sobbing. "But I can hear her," she breathed. "She's crying, Keiichi. Please..." She reached up and touched his face. "Please, help me find her. She's in here somewhere. Please." She swallowed her tears and tried to focus her thoughts. "You... You have to trust me, okay? You have to trust me. I know... I know she's alive and she's in here... You have to help me. You have to help me find her. Please, Keiichi..."
He shut his eyes, wanting to believe her, wanting to be as sure as she was that they were all wrong. But it wasn't like that.
Don't cry. If you cry now, it's over.
"Oh, god, Urd," he whispered. "Please, stop. You have to stop..."
Something came over his wife's eyes, the green shades turning from grief-stricken to hate-filled. She screamed and pushed him away.
"Stay away from me!" she cried. "If you're not going to help me save your daughter's life, then get out of the way!" She turned and started taking the place apart again.
He stepped forward and snagged her wrist. "Urd.."
Wheeling on him, she slapped him and screamed, pushing him to the ground. "GOD DAMN YOU!" she screamed. "I CALLED YOU FOR HELP, AND YOU DIDN'T ANSWER! NOW YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO LOOK FOR HER? YOU NEVER WANTED HER IN THE FIRST PLACE, DID YOU?"
"Urd!" he gasped. "Oh, god..."
Don't cry...
"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"
Don't cry...
"YOU DID THIS! YOU!"
Don't cry!
Out of the blue, a pair of headphones fell over the goddess's head, and she blinked. Her right hand went to her ear, but before she could remove them, her eyes fell shut and she collapsed limply on top of him.
He lay there a moment, unsure of what had happened, but too emotionally exhausted to try to make sense of it. It was only when his eyes found Sif standing over him that it started to come together.
"Sif?" he whispered.
The blonde looked down at him with tears in her eyes. "Enka," she explained.
Listening to his wife snore on top of him, Keiichi took a breath. "How much did you hear?" he asked.
"Enough," Sif told him. "I'm sorry I took so long. I hoped to be here... before this happened."
He lay there for a moment, listening to her breathe. "It's okay," he said quietly.
She leaned over. "Let me help you up..."
"No," he whispered. "Just... Just give me a few minutes, okay?"
Sif nodded. "Okay," she sobbed a whisper. Rising, she bit her lip and turned, walking out the door of the destroyed nursery.
Keiichi took a breath and wrapped his arm around his wife. He could just barely hear the voice of the singer who was keeping the goddess asleep on top of him.
Sif and Nyd had warned him it would be bad. Now he knew. When a mortal woman miscarried, they grieved and moved on. There would be no moving on. Not from this. Not for a long time.
Everything they had been through; Hild, the Titan, Belldandy... it all paled in comparison.
He caught the sob as it reached up from his throat and bit his lip. His other hand reached up and covered his eyes as tears finally sprung to them, and his breath came out in spasms.
If you cry, it's over, a voice in his head reminded him.
It's already over, his own voice replied.
Squeezing his sleeping goddess, Keiichi quietly cried. For Gersemi, for Urd, and for himself.
It was over.
The present...
Skuld watched as Esus cleared off the small table in the old woman's bedroom and started setting up equipment from a pair of boxes Leyak and Ipos had brought in. They had been joined by more gods and demons now, bringing the number up to eight, and all of them were armed.
She sat on the bed and watched the blonde work. The young goddess recognized the equipment immediately, of course. It was a wide-band transmitter and receiver, able to communicate to gods working in multiple dimensions and realms without being detected. Nice gear if you could get it.
Esus assembled the gear and frowned as the gauges kept telling him something he didn't want to hear.
"Problem?" another goddess, who had introduced herself as Nuying, asked.
"I can't get a lock," Esus sighed. "Maybe it's the weather here or something..."
Skuld leaned forward. "Can I try?"
The god turned and regarded her for a moment. "Be my guest," he said, moving out of the way.
Skuld took his place and started checking the connections. "Not to keep harping on this," she began. "But could someone tell me what's going on?"
"We're here to help," Ipos spoke up from the window from where he was watching the street. "Isn't that enough?"
"If you were all gods, yeah," Skuld told him pointedly. "If you were all demons, maybe. But a combined group? Come on."
Ipos opened his mouth for a comeback, but Esus raised a hand to bid him to be quiet.
"We have to get to Urd," Esus said. "It's very important to all of Creation that she not be taken away."
"Taken by who?" Skuld asked, typing in a new set of coordinates into the transmitter's keypad.
"The Bonejacker," Ipos growled. "Ameko."
Skuld paused for a moment and looked back at them. "What is she, anyway?" she asked. "Keiichi said she was kind of like a Valkyrie... only worse."
"'Bonejacker' is a slang term," Nuying told her. "For Hild's special operations forces. This one, in particular, is a real nasty one. She's killed..." She stopped and took a breath. "Almighty only knows how many of us."
"And... um... who is 'us?'" Skuld asked pointedly.
"For now, we can't be as forthcoming as we would like," Esus told her. "But I can say that we are the enemy of your enemy. I'm afraid that will have to be enough for now."
Skuld regarded him carefully for a moment before turning back to the transmitter. "For now," she agreed. She took a breath. "Can you stop her?"
Nuying looked at Esus and arched an eyebrow.
"Yeah," the god finally replied. "Yeah, we can. With your help."
"What will you do with Urd after that?" Skuld asked.
"Take her someplace safe," Nuying assured her.
Skuld stood up and gestured to the device. "There you go. You had your settings set for 'data' instead of voice. That's why you couldn't get a stronger lock. It should work now."
Esus looked at the transmitter in astonishment. "Nice. Thanks."
The young goddess blushed. "No problem. So... what next?"
"Nuying is going to stay here and coordinate," Esus said. "Lugus and I will look for your other sister and your brother-in-law. You will take Ipos and the rest to the temple to find Urd."
"And what if Ameko is there?" Skuld asked.
"Then we kill her," Ipos spoke up, fingering the handguard of his carbine.
Esus saw the skeptical look on Skuld's face. "Hey," he said with a disarming smile. "Don't worry. Ipos was a Hellrider... a long time ago... but he's still not the kind of guy to let anyone push him around... even Bonejackers. He'll protect you."
Skuld found herself smiling. "You might need my help finding Oneesama," she said. "Sure I shouldn't go with you instead?"
The god placed his hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed. "This is important, Skuld. Very important. If we don't get to Urd before the Demons do, all of Creation could be in jeopardy."