A/N It's been 10 reviews :D Well people this chapter is going to be very, very depressing. Just a warning.

Chapter 37

Sasuke's POV

"YOU DID THIS! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"YOU KILLED HER!"

"SHE GOT SO TIRED OF SEEING YOU THAT SHE DECIDED SHE'D HAD ENOUGH! I"M SURPRISED SHE DIDN'T DIE SOONER!"

"NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE EVER HAD HAPPENED, IF ONLY YOU WERE NEVER BORN, ITACHI WOULD NEVER HAVE LEFT, MIKOTO WOULD'T HAVE TRIED TO KILL HERSELF! BESIDES ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU TRY AND DO ALL THE TIME? YES I KNOW ABOUT YOUR FEEBLE ATTEMPTS AT SUICIDE, I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE TO HURT YOURSELF, HEY HOW ABOUT I HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT?!"

"YOU DID THIS! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

I woke with a start, trying my best to drown out the horrid voice in my mind. All I could hear was him, his tormenting words, the words that stung like a physical wound. I looked down at myself lifting up my shirt and seeing the bandage wrapped around my stomach. I frowned to myself getting frustrated, I wanted to see them, I didn't know why but I just had too. I fiddled with the tape towards my side that held the bandage in place before ripping it off aggressively feeling the bandages loosen around my abdomen. I unwound them from around myself noticing the faint stains of blood that was speckled around the white material. Then I saw the wounds, they littered my pale stomach in an ugly way, they weren't like my own cuts they were so much different. Ragged, harsh and full of anger, I hated them. I ran my fingers over the tender lines across my skin I feared they would scar and I would always have to remember the terror I felt then. Even after not being around him I would always be permanently scarred by his existence. How could he do this to me? How was I ever supposed to forget him? I screamed lashing out at the nearest thing I could find which seemed to be a lightshade that sat aside my bed. I knocked it clean off the stand and it smashed against the floor. The noise was loud, I could hear every piece break away from its body and it reminded me harshly of myself the way I felt broken and how easily broken I was.

"What's going on? Sasuke are you ok!?" I ignored the voice that was shouting me and instead continued to stare at my hands watching my fingers clench and unclench themselves. I grinded my teeth together so frustrated with myself. I blinked, then to see a pair of hands resting on top of my own, the fingers were longer than mine and the nails painted a deep purple. His fingers wrapped around my own and I felt the warmth of his skin against mine. I looked up at the owner feeling my eyes burning with tears.

"I'm so sorry Aniki," I whimpered feeling my voice break beneath him; I just couldn't deal with the memories, especially not on this day. I felt him pull me towards him and I easily complied letting him enclose his arms around me and rub my back softly with those delicate hands.

"It's ok, I should have known you would be very sensitive today," he replied softly, I could hear his heartbeat through his chest it was so quiet and soothing, it told me that I wasn't dreaming still and that my brother was very much alive and here with me now.

"We need to get ready, the funeral is in two hours," Itachi breathed trailing his hands up my back and into my messy spikes. I had been dreading this day since her death; I knew that the reality of it would hit me now. She had been away from me for so long that I felt it hard to believe that it had really happened; part of me still believed that she was in the hospital ready to wake up at any time. But that wasn't true, and I knew that now.

"Itachi…I've never been to a funeral before, I'm a little afraid," I admitted honestly, I wasn't in the mood for being all rebellious this just wasn't the time. In fact it was taking all my strength to not already burst into tears. I wasn't sure if I was ready to say goodbye to my mother so soon.

"It's ok, there's nothing to be scared of we're just saying goodbye, I'm sure our mother would finally be able to be at peace with us besides I'll be right there with you for the whole time, I'll even hold your hand if you want me to, like in the hospital if it hurts you can squeeze my hand," my brother reassured me pulling away from me and sliding his hands down my shoulders. I looked at him and he smiled at me in a comforting way.

"Thank you," I quietly replied digging my fingers into the fabric of my shirt. I looked over towards the broken shards on the floor. Regret stung my mind; I had broken something that Itachi had bought for me, I tugged on my shirt getting more frustrated with myself. Maybe my father was right, maybe I couldn't do anything right, maybe I was a waste of space.

"Don't worry about the lamp Sasuke; stop torturing yourself, whatever you're thinking right now, it's not true. Trust me. Though I may invest in getting you a punching bag that way there would be less mess to clean up, you could even stick a picture of my face on it if it made it easier," Itachi joked trying to cheer me up, funnily enough it worked. I couldn't hide the grin that grew across my face.

"Now that face is much better, I like it a lot more," Itachi complimented wiping what was left of tears with his thumb and brushing a strand of hair that flopped over my eye out of my face. Itachi looked to my side seeing the discarded roll of bandage, he lowered his eyebrows.

"You took off your bandages?" He observed with a minor frown, he lifted up my shirt to take a look at the healing wounds underneath, "you're healing well, do you want me to re-bandage them?" He asked kindly letting my shirt fall back into place.

"No."

Itachi nodded seeming to understand why I didn't want them covered like that anymore, I had to see them, to know what my father was capable of, I needed to face up to my feelings so I could finally bury them. The wounds inflicted at me in blame for my mother's death.

"Well I shall leave you to get changed, unless you want my help," he raised his eyebrows I wasn't sure if he was being serious or just joking. Sometimes it was really hard to tell with Itachi because of his icy demeanour.

"Itachi, I'm not that much of an invalid," I exhaled rubbing my eyes; I hadn't slept well because of the nightmare, reliving my last experience with my father. It was so vivid that I could feel the blade against my skin and the warm blood running down my cold skin.

"I don't remember seeing any suits in your clothing; do you want to wear one of my old ones? They might be a little big but it's better than attending in your usual jeans and hoodies, can you imagine the scolding I would get if I let you attend in something like that?" Itachi smirked getting to his feet avoiding the mess on the floor not looking that particularly interested in it.

"Fine," I muttered, I couldn't remember the last time I wore a suit, I was sure I must of at some point I just couldn't remember when.

Itachi promptly left my bedroom which gave me a moment to pull myself together fully; I didn't want to cry at the funeral, I didn't want to break down. I had always promised myself never to cry at her bedside, I know I broke it a few times but I wanted to try my best. Besides I was sure she must have been in a better place now, away from my father. Still I wish I could have said goodbye to her properly not just hearing her on the phone letting the last think I hear be the sound of colliding metals. Itachi returned within a minute holding a box which I assumed contained one of his old suits. He laid it on the bed before taking out the contents.

"I thought this one would suit you," he added showing me the garment. A long pair of black trousers tailored beautifully with a long sleeved dark grey shirt with a black waistcoat with a silk back and silk tie.

"I figured blazers weren't really your thing so the waistcoat would suffice," Itachi remarked, I agreed with him, I didn't really like blazers all that much. They suited Itachi but not so much me; I always found they made me look smaller than I actually was.

"It's really nice Itachi," I replied running my fingers over the silk tie and trying to imagine Itachi wearing it. It didn't take that much effort, he always liked to dress smart.

"Ok I'll leave you to it, be careful of the broken shards I'll have to clean them up later when we get back," Itachi warned leaving the suit with me and going off probably to his own room to get changed himself. I had only just realised he was still in his pyjamas when he entered clearly in a rush to see what I had done. I shuffled off the bed to the opposite side of which I had smashed the lamp taking the clothes with me. I could smell Itachi all over them, somehow I liked the idea of wearing his clothes it made me feel that much closer to him.

It didn't take me long to change into the trousers, I was quite relieved that they fitted me quite well, the trousers were a little long as Itachi was quite a bit taller than me even when he was my age and a little loose at the top which was easily sorted out with a belt (sadly the only belts I had had skulls on them so I just had to make sure to cover it with the shirt, nice excuse for not tucking anything in). I slipped the shirt on before realising how hard it would be to do the buttons with one hand. I couldn't move my fingers enough to fiddle with such small things. I sighed, realising that I was going to need Itachi's help after all. I picked up the waistcoat and tie and trudged out my room stopping outside of his and knocking on the door. I waited for a moment before Itachi proceeded into opening it. I had to hold my jaw together somewhat, as Itachi stood at the door, topless, showing off all his abdominal muscles. He raised an eyebrow at me, "need my help after all then?" He inquired clearly knowing the answer. It took me a second to register the fact that I had to reply as my focus was entirely on that beautiful chest of his. I eventually nodded as Itachi stepped away from the door letting me in.

"I can't fasten the buttons, my cast keeps getting in the way," I told him as he took the waistcoat and tie out of my hands and draped them over the bed stand. I stood still feeling a little cold as the shirt was wide open, I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror in fear of what I would see looking back. Itachi kneeled down slightly in front of me before taking hold of the buttons at my collar and pulling them closer together. I started to feel nervous coming to terms of how close he was standing next to me, still topless, still with his dark hair splayed across his shoulders. He started to move down to the lower buttons I felt his knuckles brush across my chest, it made me flinch slightly. The contact was soothing yet electrifying at the same time which confused me. I had started biting down on my piercings once again and holding my breath as Itachi looked utterly unfazed at all. I felt a little disappointed when Itachi had done up all the buttons it was like I just wanted him to undo them all again. Itachi picked up the waistcoat and slipped over my arms and shoulders before buttoning it up. He then finished with my tie wrapping it around my neck and tying it and slipping it under the waistcoat.

"There, all finished. You look smart and very attractive," Itachi complimented patting me on the shoulder and then ruffling my hair. I grumbled trying to put it in back in place before turning around to face the mirror. I was shocked to see how much more I looked like Itachi, we had the same eyes and facial features with little difference like Itachi's nose was longer and more pointy and elegant looking and he had these lines across his cheeks which made him look that much older and mature. Maybe it was just because I was wearing his clothes though I did quite like how I looked in formal clothes it made a very different change from my usual look.

We didn't talk much during the car journey to the church, I just proceeded to stare out the window ignoring Itachi's various attempts at starting a conversation, I just wasn't in the mood. I nearly felt as though I had my own personal raincloud over my head that just continued to rain making me feel so cold that it was nearly unbearable.

"We're here," Itachi indicated pulling his car into one of the parking spaces. The sky was a cloudy grey despite being only midday it looked as though it was heading into evening. I knew it was going to rain at some point but just wasn't sure when. I got out of the car instantly recognising the one opposite from Itachi's: fathers. He was here too; well I guess Itachi didn't kill him after all.

"It seems Fugaku is here, stay close to me Sasuke I don't want you anywhere near that bastard," Itachi growled walking towards the church, I followed directly behind.

The church was pretty empty, I knew it was going to be a quiet service; my mother didn't have many friends or relatives. There was about three people I recognised as being distant relatives that sat up front near the left I couldn't remember them personally. Two of my mother's closest friends sat at in the middle I had seen them a couple of times when they had visited. At the back sat my father by himself both his hands were in casts which made me wonder what Itachi had done to him. I found myself staring at him for a couple of minutes with a distant blankness in my mind before Itachi took hold of my hand and lead me away before Fugaku noticed me. We sat up front away from everyone else which I was glad about. I felt like I needed some kind of privacy for this moment, privacy only in which Itachi was allowed to invade. The chairs were uncomfortable but I knew I wouldn't be able to relax anyway; the tense felling in my body was stressing me out more. Part of me wanted to walk out, I didn't want this to be the final goodbye nor did I want to be in the same room as my monster of a father, even with Itachi around I still felt vulnerable.

"Don't worry Sasuke, this will be last time you will ever see his face," Itachi stated coldly looking out in front of himself. I followed his gaze fully noticing the coffin in front of me which contained my mother's body, it was an open coffin but luckily right at this moment I couldn't see in it.

The priest made his way towards the stand to start the service.

"We are gathered here today to commiserate the passing of Uchiha Mikoto loving wife and mother," he started as grasped hold of the fabric of the trousers I was wearing; I pulled the material up between my fingers already feeling my heartbeat racing. I didn't want to hear any more already, she was my mother for God's sake! She was too young die, she shouldn't have died!

"Mikoto was a wonderful woman whose passing was such a great tragedy to us all, she loved her husband very much and both of her sons, it's a great shame that we have to say goodbye so early," the voice carried on. I wanted desperately to cover my ears but instead I squeezed harder wrenching at the fabric watching my knuckles go white.

"Her husband Fugaku has a few words to say," he announced. I frowned darting a look behind myself to see him walking towards the podium. He walked with a limp which made me smile, slightly sadistic of me but I couldn't help it, I hated him so much that my rage for him was nearly at bursting.

"My wife Mikoto was a kind and gentle woman; she valued other people's feelings above her own. She cherished and loved our sons up until they day she died and I'm sure she will keep watching over them even in death," he started, I felt hooks digging themselves into my heart pulling it against my rib cage. My breath got caught in my throat making it feel dry and sore and my eyes felt like I had lit matches in them.

"I loved my wife dearly, she was so important to me just like my boys, I wished she could still have been here so we could have been one big happy family," he sombrely mentioned.

THAT FUCKING LIAR! I felt my skin blaze and the sound of my deep yet shallow breaths. How could he say something like that? He didn't care about mother or me! I clenched my teeth together so hard I could feel them pressing hard into my gums. I didn't realise I had been shaking and was inches away from the end of my seat until Itachi had laid his hand on top of mine.

"It's not worth it Sasuke, just leave him to his lie," he whispered to me running his thumb over my knuckles I lowered my hunched shoulders and leaned back into the seat. I focused myself on Itachi's touch, as sensitive as it was it gave me a ticklish feeling through my hand which was very distracting.

I was extremely glad when Fugaku had finished his speech, luckily for me I had managed to blank the rest out just concentrating solely on Itachi's warm hand.

"There now shall be time for you al to say your separate goodbyes before the burial," the priest declared leaving the building letting a mild wave of chatter fill the once quiet air.

"Aniki, if you don't mind I would like to say my goodbyes in private," I looked up at Itachi who nodded; I could tell he was reluctant about the idea but he knew that this was personal to me and I had to do it. Besides I didn't want to risk breaking down in front of him as well, I had already done it once too many. It didn't take long for the church to clear and for everyone to make their way out towards the graveyard; I assumed no one really had that much to say to her.

"You must be Itachi and Sasuke Uchiha," a fairly young man approached us holding his hand out, "I'm Obito, Mikoto's nephew, so your cousin. I'm sorry for your loss, must be hard, she was your mother after all…do you mind if I speak to one of you for a moment, I'm sorting out the headstone and wanted to know if there was anything you wanted me to have written on it," Obito asked. I had never heard of him before from my mother but she never really liked to talk about her family maybe because she didn't get along with them very well.

"You can talk to me, my brother wants some time alone saying his goodbyes," Itachi responded standing up as Obito nodded walking towards the church entrance, "I'll give you ten minutes then I'm coming back for you," Itachi told me before leaving. I looked around the hall realising that I was indeed alone in this eerie place. I felt frozen to my seat, I wasn't sure if I had the courage to see my mother in her deathly state. So I sat, clutching hold of the seat of the chair trying to force myself to get up but feeling the strength in my legs die each time I tried. It took me a few attempts to finally get to my feet but even then I felt wobbly, the floor seemed to tilt around me and I felt so nervous that I thought I would have just dropped to my knees at any moment. I closed my eyes as I made it within view of the coffin interior plucking up the courage to open them. I gripped hold of the wood that surrounded her biting my lip, hard that it wasn't just the metal of the piercings I could taste.

3…2…1…I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. I felt the muscles in my legs give out and I dropped heavily onto the stone below, the force hurt my knees but that didn't hurt as much as my heart. Her pale face watch etched in my mind, somehow she looked so peaceful in her posture, her smile was happy yet at the same time so heart-breaking. I couldn't get her image out of my head, seeing her lifeless and cold that the cheeks of her once rosy skin was utterly blue along with her lips. I could have easily imagined her as a spectre in a haunted glow and it made me feel ever so scared. All I could think about was would Itachi look like then when he died, like a lifeless statue bound to its final frame for all eternity. I didn't want to think of Itachi dying, the idea alone would drive me insane.

"I'm sorry mother but I just cannot bear to look at you like this…" I muttered feeling how cold the stone was under my skin I could imagine her skin feeling exactly like this and it made me shiver.

"I wish you didn't have to die, I loved you so much…I know how hard it was for you to be there for me when father got violent but I know you always tried your best up until the end and I thank you for that. I just hope that you are still out there somewhere watching over Itachi and me. I would like to believe that is true," I smiled sadly to myself scraping my nails further across the stone. I let the odd tear drop down my cheek and onto the stone below darkening the colour. The tear seeped into the stone as it was joined by another. I hated crying it always made me feel much more broken that if I were to fall I would shatter into pieces.

"Look I'm even wearing a suit, although it's Itachi's…but I'm sure you don't mind. He said you would scold him if I came in my usual clothes, he was probably right but I guess it suits me, ne?" I carried on, even though this time I knew she most certainly couldn't hear me it still felt like a reasonable thing to do. I was never sure for certain when I would talk to her when she was in the coma that she could even hear me then but that never stopped me. I bet I'd even speak to her tombstone. I faltered to the side slightly bumping my shoulder against the wood of the coffin. I wiped the tears from eyes with the back of my sleeve and took a deep breath to try and stop myself from weeping. I leaned forwards on my knees against my hand hunched over staring at the stone trying to pull myself together. I stayed like that for a minute picturing all the smiles my mother gave me, all those happy memories. Everytime she complained at me for not doing my homework because I was too busy playing around with Itachi. Everytime she would hug me when Itachi and I would argue. Everytime she would but a packet of tomato's just for me.

I eventually stood myself up realising that this was it, if I didn't say the words I dreaded to say then I would regret it. I forced myself to look at her once more, she was still so beautiful and peaceful looking that I could have convinced myself that she was only sleeping.

"I'm going to miss you forever, mother, but I think it's time to say it, so here goes…goodbye," I muttered skimming my fingertips over the edge of the casket.

"What are you saying goodbye for, you'll be joining her soon."

I fierce shiver clawed up my spine, I turned my head around to glimpse at my father who stood just a few steps away from me. His expression scared me; digging icy needles into my whole body making me feel as if I was frozen. I couldn't move, my legs felt stiff like somehow they had been wrapped up by his voice and nailed to the floor. My voice had completely dried up and I knew that even if I tried I wouldn't be able to find it. My father draped an arm over my shoulder lazily and my heart screamed in my ears, I could feel the sharp pains again in my stomach burning as if enflamed. I wanted Itachi, I needed Itachi! My brain tried to process the time I had already been in here and how long it would be until he came back. I felt Fugaku's breath against my neck as hot as dragon's breath I momentarily thought he was going to bite me. He shoved his arm in front of my face.

"You see this? Well this is what Itachi did to me. I hope your happy you little manipulative bastard you've even managed to turn my own son against me," he growled, I tried to pull out of his grip but he joined leaned his arm heavier across my shoulders so much so that it ached. I stared at the arm in front of me plastered up just like my own along with a vast row of bandaging over his hand.

"He nailed me to the fucking wall," Fugaku spat throwing me against the coffin and pinning me over the top so I was hovering just above my mother. The idea in itself made we want to throw up; he thrust a hard plastered arm against my neck pushing me closer towards her. The edge of the coffin dug into my back and I felt that if it went any further my spine would snap in two.

"Why do you have to get Itachi to fight all your battles you piece of shit? Are you too much of pussy to do it yourself?" He insulted me jamming the cast further under my chin I had the choice of either falling onto my dead mother or being choked. There was no way I was going to fall on her, I couldn't bear doing something so disrespectful to my mother, she was dead for fuck's sake! I grasped hold of the edge of the coffin trying to hold myself up though finding it increasingly harder the more weight my father put on me and the fact that my feet were losing grip on the floor below. I wanted to scream but I couldn't his arm was crushing my windpipe I could feel the rough material scraping at my skin, scorching it off like a carpet burn. I started clawing at the wood with my nails, praying for Itachi to save me. I thought that I had gotten away, but nothing has changed he's still the monster in my dreams, it's not about getting away…he's always going to exist in the same world as me and as long as that were true he could always find me.

Itachi please, help me!

"Hey do you remember this?" He scoffed, I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion before I saw him hold up something in front of my face. I could see how hard it was for him to hold because of the solid substance around his hand but somehow he still managed it. I worked out nearly instantly that what he was holding was a tape player. I felt my vision go fuzzy from the lack of oxygen, my heart raced; it felt like with beat my heart collided with my ribcage. I saw him grin demonically before he clicked the play button and held it close to my ear. To do so meant him leaning further on to me making the edge of the casket feel like it was slicing through my lower back.

"Mum."

I instantly recognised my own voice on the tape, I frowned in puzzlement before starting hear the sounds of an engine and the sound of a woman sobbing.

"Sasuke honey is that you?"

My eyes widened frantically at the next voice. Mother? Tears tore at the corners of my eyes, they already felt so sore from the amount I had already cried that I didn't even want to open them.

"Mum what's wrong?"

I clicked, realising what he was showing me, the engine, the tears, and the panicking questions. This was the final phone call I shared with my mother before she drove her car into a bunch of trees. I tried to cry out but was fervently stopped by my father as he dug his arm into my neck silencing me entirely.

"Listen you prick, I had to go all the way to the police for this the least you can do is hear it through and enjoy it! Ha!" He laughed maniacally forcing the speaker against my ear.

"You know that I love you Sasuke."

My eyes welled up completely as I could still see her below me, it felt so unnatural to hear his voice so close to her lifeless body. I could hear the roaring engine down my ear, so loud, so deafening. I wanted to stab knives into my ears, anything to stop myself from hearing this!

"Please tell me what's wrong, where are you?"

I could feel frozen trails down my cheeks as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut.

Someone please, just kill me!

I felt my legs go numb under the pressure.

"You will promise me that you'll be good won't you? And you'll look after yourself?"

No! I can't hear this happen again! I agitatedly tried to struggle out of his grip. I could hear him laughing in the background.

"What do you mean? Why are you asking me this? You're scaring me."

Getting so desperate understanding that I was never going to escape his grip I forced my own neck into his arm trying to choke myself.

"Haha, don't think you're dying so easily, brat! I haven't finished with you yet," he sneered removing his arm from my neck, I gasped at the sudden ability to breathe before he covered my mouth with what he could of his long fingers.

"Just promise me Sasuke."

I could feel my father's weight pushing me down towards my mother that I was close enough to have felt her breath if she were still alive.

"I...I promise."

Itachi! I need you so much!

"Good...I'm sorry Sasuke, I'm sorry for being such a terrible mother. I should have been there for you, I should have looked after you, you're my little boy, please forgive me."

Please, make it stop!

"No! It's okay, I forgive you, you did the best you could."

It hurts Itachi! It hurts so badly!

"No, I didn't, I let him hurt you...I'm sorry again Sasuke, but I can't do this anymore, if you ever see Itachi again tell him that I still love him."

Itachi!

The sound of her tears tore at my ear drums; I bit so hard into my lip that I was bleeding badly into my mouth, I could have sworn that the wood would have scratch marks across the side.

"What's going on!? What are you doing?!"

I could feel the pain of her words ripping my heart into pieces, fee the cold drops of rain on my face just like then.

"I'm sorry..."

The car engine growled like a beast, I heard the rubber of the tires scrape across the road, the sound of metal colliding with something hard and glass shattering into millions of pieces. The sound was so loud that I felt my skull quake under the waves. I wrenched my mouth away from his hand building up a scream. I cried out as loud as I could.

I felt the weight pressing me against the casket be ripped away from me and I forced myself forward so fast trying to get away from my mother that I fell onto my knees. I arched forwards and spat out the blood that had filled my mouth, it dripped down my chin and I felt like throwing up. My back ached persistently, I had scraped a whole centimetre off of my nails and all I could hear in my ears was the sound of screeching tires. My hands were shaking tirelessly and I couldn't stop them, I just wanted to curl up into a ball and die. Thoughts of my mother flooded into my mind and I felt like I was drowning in them, I missed her, I missed her so much!

I finally looked up to see where my father had gone but he was no one where to be seen, I felt a wave of relief course through my body. Before long I saw Itachi dropping to his knees in front of me. He cupped my face with his hands making me look him in the eyes. Noticing the blood down my chin he instinctively wiped it off with the sleeve of his blazer.

"Sasuke, I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you from that sooner," he sorrowfully spoke, "I should never have left you," I stared at him my eyes glazed with tears, my heart hurt so bad that I just wanted to rip it out of my chest.

"Aniki…he-he scares me s-so bad," I wept; I had never admitted that to anyone before, I had never once told anyone that I feared my father more than anything else in the world. I always acted so tough about him, that he didn't bother me at all, but the truth was I was unreservedly petrified of him. I felt like a vulnerable child in his presence, so small, so easily beaten. I had never felt so broken in my life, I didn't even feel the energy to want to die, I just felt so cold.

"I know Otouto, I know…" he pulled me into a hug, encircling those long, protective arms around me like a shield. I grasped hold of his blazer not wanting to let go, he was my lifeline and I needed him more than anything right now.

"I-I thought it w-was over...b-but it still h-hurts so much," I stuttered letting the tears free-fall onto his shoulder. I didn't want to hide my emotions anymore, I just wanted them out, I wanted to get rid of them.

"It's ok little brother, big brothers got you now, he can't hurt you anymore just calm down and relax," Itachi soothed drawing circles on my back with his fingertips, there was always something about Itachi's touch that was so gentle and comforting.

"Let me look at you," Itachi told me taking hold of my shoulders and trying to prise me off. I clutched onto him even firmer, "no!" I shrieked digging my fingers into the fabric, "I just w-want to stay like this…" I mumbled burying my face in his jacket. He smelt so nice, the ever so comforting scent of Itachi that made me feel so secure. I could feel his chest muscles against my cheek and hear every breath he took; it wasn't long before it began drowning out the sounds of screeching tires and crumpling metal. He was a little warmer than usual but I guessed that was because of the situation and his heartbeat was also faster but had been slowing down since I started listening.

"Do you want to go home or do you want to finish the funeral?" Itachi inquired quietly, I tensed, what about father? Was he still here?

"Don't worry about him he most certainly won't be coming back," Itachi stated, I could hear the supressed growl in his voice. I was worried that this time he had actually killed Fugaku for real and that scared me. I didn't want Itachi getting arrested for murder that I had pushed him to.

"I want to finish the funeral…" I spoke, my voice muffled, despite this Itachi had managed to work out what I had said. I had to finish in respect to my mother no matter how much it was going to tear me to pieces even further.

"Ok, we better join everyone else outside the burial starts in ten minutes they'll be coming for our mother any time soon," Itachi explained, "can you stand?"

I nodded finally letting go of Itachi only to feel extremely exposed, Itachi sprang to his feet offering out his hand to me. I looked at it for a moment before talking hold and letting him pull me to my feet. Standing didn't feel too bad, I thought to myself as I brushed the hair out of my eyes. Itachi smiled at me encouragingly.

"Let's go," he urged as I took a step forward, a sharp pain dug in my lower back and I stumbled forwards straight into Itachi whose hand clasped onto my shoulders so I didn't fall right into him.

"Still a little wobbly, eh? Want me to carry you again?" Itachi mused; I narrowed my eyes pulling away from him, "no way!" There was still nothing worse than being carried like a princess by Itachi especially in a public place. Itachi smirked, "I didn't think so, maybe I should try giving you a piggy back ride again sometime," he pondered.

"I think I'm a little big for that," I said lowering my eyebrows.

"You'll never be too big Sasuke besides you're still smaller than me," he replied I wasn't sure if he was mocking my height or just pointing it out. I didn't think I would ever be taller than Itachi.

We took our places on the outside seats ready for the burial, Itachi and I stood at the front while the rest of the guests further to the back. Itachi was right Fugaku was nowhere to be seen which was thankful for. Itachi had laced his fingers in mine as we watched the coffin being slowly carried down and placed over the already dug out hole. I looked at him, there was a distance in his eyes but I couldn't decide what to make of it. AS the casket was lowered into the ground I squeezed hold of Itachi's hand, it was more calming than crying once again. He mirrored the action though a part of me felt like he did it not just to reassure me, but to reassure himself too. I bet somewhere deep down part of Itachi was pretty broken up about this too.

"Rest in Peace Uchiha Mikoto," the priest uttered. A man went round carrying a box of dirt that we were supposed to throw in the hole before the rest of the soil covered it. He approached me and Itachi first and we both scooped a lump of dirt in our hands, we didn't let go of each other's as we scattered the soil over the coffin.

"Rest in peace mother," I heard Itachi whisper.

The service ended shortly after and Itachi took me back home, we sat in the living room for a while feeling a little lost with what to do with ourselves. The funeral had been quite a shock to both of us in different ways.

"I can't believe she's really gone…" I spoke picturing the coffin in the ground; fifteen was far too young to lose a parent I felt as though I hadn't even grown up yet. I just thought about her and how she was never going to see me grow up. She never even got to see Itachi's face again…

"Do you mind if I take a look at you now?" Itachi asked, he changed the conversation rather quickly, it was a little unsettling. I looked at him raising an eyebrow, what was he going on about?

"I mean, did father hurt you anywhere?" He re-established scooting closer to me on the sofa; he gripped hold of my chin and tilted my head back slightly exposing my neck. I knew my neck was in bad shape, I hadn't seen myself yet but I knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Your neck is pretty badly bruised and scratched," he observed frowning a little, "anywhere else?" He let go of my chin and I noticed his fingers crumple into his palms edgily.

"My lower back is sore…" I admitted remembering the feeling of the wood digging into my skin; the image of my mother flashed in my mind, her face was so close to mine…

"Can you turn around a little so I can take a look?" Itachi inquired as I subconsciously did what I was asked, I felt Itachi pull up the end of my shirt, and the cold air flicked at my sore skin. Itachi brushed his fingers over the spot and I hissed clenching my teeth together. I guessed my body looked more purple and red than it did my actual skin colour.

"That looks pretty sore, maybe we should get something on that, how did you get an injury like that?" He asked letting the shirt fall back in place I turned back around to face him so now we were sitting directly facing each other.

"I…I was trying not to fall in…" I started, thinking back to how hard I tried to hold myself up, gripping so hard at the wood and straining every possible muscle in my back. I looked at my hands noticing them shaking a little once again.

"What do you mean?" He queried.

"The coffin Itachi! He had me pinned against the coffin, forcing me down! But I didn't want to fall on her, she's my mother!" I yelled once again encouraging the tears that welled up in my eyes. Itachi flinched at my volume as I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"I just- I just-" I stammered feeling my chest hurt, I reached up to wipe the tears from my eyes, but my hand was stopped midway by a set of long fingers that wrapped around my wrist, pulling my hand away from my face.

"Ita-" I muttered as Itachi sprang forwards locking his lips against mine before I could finish his name. I widened my eyes in shock, his lips were so soft and warm and…and the tears in my eyes vanished. My breath was completely taken away from me as he licked my bottom lip with his tongue and I closed my eyes letting what was left of the tears glide down my face. I had never been kissed before…I felt my cheeks burn with a blush which I couldn't even attempt to hide.

A/N Well, I guess no one was expecting that XD Yes people, the yaoi is on its way! I have officially written the lemon now and Kami was that hard! First person lemon writing: very hard! It probably isn't perfect, still needs tweaking but please give me some credit haha, I don't have all the parts to imagine it properly.

I think it's about time for an Itachi chapter next. Please ignore all my mistakes; I have no BETA, find it pointless having one too and re-reading through puts me off from carrying on haha. Once the fic is finished I will go back and update it all with corrections.

Once again I will get Itachi's chapter done once I get 10 reviews 'cause I'm writing Sasuke's through right now and then going back so I'll work on that one then. I would like to thank you all in a none cheesy way for giving me inspiration *bows*

On one more note, this fic was originally planned to have a sequel because of the way I was planning my ending. I'm still going to keep that ending, but would you want to see a sequel or have it just left to imagination? I may poll it when the fic starts coming to a close but I would like to hear your thoughts and no, I shall not tell you what happens X)