CHAPTER 35 - STRENGTH AND TEMPTATION

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Renesmee

For 2 days, we co-ordinated with taking care of June at Jake's house and going to school. Aunt Rosalie was the only one refused to help - "Like I would help someone so annoying," were her exact words.

We kept June company whenever we could; Aunt Alice kept track of her blurry futures when we were at school. Although according to Mom and Dad, she was too devastated to make any decision for the moment. I wonder how long it will take before she came through her depression. I would have been mad at Tommy if I didn't know that he was in the same state too. It was like they were living in a world where their genuine feelings were reflected by a mirror. I wished there was more that we could do for both of them.

But all we could do was wait and keep watch.

"Hey," Jake greeted when he came home from work. Grandma, Mom and I had been keeping June company at his house for the past five hours.

"Hey," we greeted back almost at the same time, though June's voice was lower and more hollow.

He took off his boots, jackets and gloves and settled on the wooden chair across the living room table. Silence covered the atmosphere for a moment.

"How was dinner?" he asked casually.

June lifted her head and answered casually. "It was good. Esme's a great cook." Her tone was too casual to sound like it was coming from her heart. It was also noticable how she seemed completely neglected to the fact that she was in vampire and werewolf territory. Tommy's damage on her was deeper and more potent than I had expected. How that happened I didn't know.

Mom frowned, but did not speak her mind. Her expression was genuine and compassionate, like she could relate to her agony. I didn't understand immediately.

Then I remembered what they told me about something that happened to Mom and Dad 8 years ago. Dad, who had recently experienced Mom's traumatizing birthday party that forced him to decide to leave Mom for good, and the blow was so tremendous that it sent both of them in deep depression.

Though I knew about it, it was impossible to imagine what they went through. I couldn't picture anything.

My train of thought ended with the silence when the phone rang. Jacob went to answer it. "Hello?"

All of us, except June, heard Paul's voice on the other end.

Yo, 'sup, Jake? he greeted. Everything all right there?

"Hey, Paul," Jacob greeted back. "Yeah, you could say that. Barely. What about you guys, is everything alright in La Push?" His eyes turned sheepishly in our direction. Then Paul delivered the message that he called for and joy filled the air around us, like opening a window to let in new oxygen.

"No kidding," Jacob exclaimed with a happy tone that wasn't there earlier and his lips lifted up to form a huge grin across his face. "When was the baby born?"

Last night. It's a girl! Rachel named her Lydia. Hearing her name sent a tingle into my core.

"Wow, Lydia Lahote," he confirmed. "I look forward to meeting my new niece soon."

You better, Jake. Okay, gotta go. I was buying some muffins for Rach.

"Okay, talk to you later." Jacob gleamed with a charming grin. The good news prompted the rest of us to gleam back, even June smiled a tiny smile.

"Congratulations," Mom wished before I could, but that didn't stop me from saying it.

"Congratulations, Jacob. I'm happy for you."

His eyes focused on me, like my opinion meant the world to him.

"Yes. Congratulations, Jacob," Grandma wished sincerely.

"Thank you," he said while continuing to look at me.

June smiled slightly, but didn't say anything.

The little union drifted apart quickly afterwards. I took Jacob upstairs to tutor him for an algebra test next Wednesday, Grandma went home to prepare tomorrow's work, and Mom watched June. I wondered what they would be talking about. Maybe nothing. Who knows what kind of conversation a vampire could have with a human who knew about her identity, especially when the vampire didn't talk much to regular acquaintances.

So it was kinda surprising when Mom actually stroke a conversation with June. Jake and I tried to focus on the algebra while their voices echoed in our ears.

"I can imagine what you're going through, June. I actually went through the similar things when I was human," Mom sympathized.

June murmured quietly to herself, but it was hard to hear what she was saying.

"When I first met Edward, Renesmee's father, he was already a vampire, but we fell in love," she began again. "A few months after we started dating, something happened on my birthday party, and then he moved away. I was left alone by myself."

"Were you devastated?" June asked, some life dimmed in her voice.

Silence took over for a minute, even Jacob and I weren't moving.

"Devastated couldn't begin to describe the way I felt back then," she answered. "It was like... falling into the bottom of a well, and I couldn't find the steady rocks to climb back up. In those months, I really hit bottom. It wasn't until I started hanging out with Jacob that I began to feel a little better. He kept the pain at bay. Not completely, but it felt good just to be rid of it for a while."

My heart ached a little. I'd been told of this story a few times, but I could never quite grasp how much pain they must have endured during that time. Lucky as I felt about being their daughter, I could see the obstacles they had worked to overcome before they married. Before I came into their lives.

"It's understandable that you don't want to give up, and it's natural."

"He said directly that he didn't want me here," June murmured in an uneasy voice. "That I was causing him trouble. Do you think I should leave?"

She didn't answer right away.

"I can't decide that for you. Thomas - I mean, Sam had been in a lot of pain these past few years, and I know now that you're part of the source. He changed his name when he decided to forget his past and adapt to his new life as a vampire. But even though he tried to bury the pain and the memories, they were still part of him. But I also think that it's because he has had a hard time forgetting you."

And that put an end to their conversation.

I woke up around 8:50 in the morning when dim sunlight burst through the maintains, into my bedroom through the large windows and reflected on the clear white walls. I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and went downstairs in a rush.

Everyone was gathered in the living room, including Jacob who was resting on the couch with Mom and Dad playing scrabble. Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie played chess across the room. Uncle Jasper was reading a thick book of ancient languages with Aunt Alice checking the stock market's rates with her iPad. Grandpa ran through some hospital files, while Grandma doodled with a sketchpad on her lap, but occasionally shifted her attention to Tommy, who stood farthest away from the rest of them, his shoulder rest on the thick glass wall as he looked absentmindedly out the window.

"Ready to go?" Mom asked.

I nodded.

"Wait," Aunt Alice exclaimed suddenly, her eyes stared into nothing. "Let's stay just a few more minutes. I think Thomas needs to hear this."

"Hear what?" Uncle Jasper asked.

Her eyes narrowed. "June's decided to leave town after all. She's gonna call to leave a message."

Tommy turned to stare at her, his eyes more alive than before.

The telephone rang immediately. I crossed over into the living room in one second and sat on the couch arm next to Dad. He put his arm around my waist. I needed that. Whatever the phone was about to record, it wasn't going to be anything good.

No one answered. The phone beeped and asked the caller to leave a message.

"It's me," June's voice echoed from the speaker. "I've been thinking about what you said. I know what you have become, and what you must have endured. I know you were trying to keep me safe.

"I want you to know that I wouldn't have minded. Being with you, even if it means becoming a vampire myself, because I can't imagine living without you. The thought and determination to be with you again was what kept me motivated all these years."

Her voice shivered a little.

"But when you told me you didn't want me. That I was causing you pain... that you wanted me to stay out of your life, whatever it is. Then I guess I can only do as you say." She paused. I looked at Tommy, his scrunched face emanated pain. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about my meeting you and your family, and what you are. That secret stays with me." Uncontrollable sobbing echoed through the phone. "It's just... I never believed we were to end this way. I never imagined... that I would meet you again only to... only to... to lose you one more time. I... AAAH!"

Thomas

"Oh, my God," Aunt Alice screamed in fear.

The phone echoed a loud bang, then a skidding sound and then a crashing sound that repeated several times. Then the phone disconnected. Everyone looked in panic.

Oh, my God.

What happened? What just happened? Did she crash? Is she okay? Is she dead?

My mind was overflooded with questions I had no answer to. All of the questions narrowed down one: is June okay?

June.

I couldn't think of her dead. I couldn't think of what terrible fate she must have faced. I couldn't think of what accident she must've been in. What am I gonna do? What if she's dead?

My dead heart ached strangely. My breath choked in my throat in a very uncomfortable way.

Edward grabbed my shoulders and shook me harshly.

"Calm down, Thomas!" he urged quickly. "Alice can see that she's still alive."

"But we need to get to her fast," Alice said.

Where is she?

"Where is she, Alice?" Emmett asked, as if he'd read my mind and took the question from me.

Her eyes blanked again. "Oregon Coast Highway 101, near Sandlake Road."

I rushed out the door as soon as Alice said the location and darted into the snowy forest with my full speed. I didn't want to lose a single second - the desire to save her was the only thing that motivated me at this point. I didn't want to stay frozen, every passing second could mean the end of her life. If I froze, she really will die. She needed me more than ever.

Don't freeze! Save June, I continued to tell myself.

The forest that usually felt so small suddenly became too big, too thick. Even the snow stuck to the ground was thick like mountains. It was like I couldn't run fast enough.

Stay focused.

I continued to run straight, and struggled to keep the memory of the road on the surface. Not imagining June dead, lifeless...

Urgh! Stay focused! June!

Edward caught up with me in a sec. I could sense the others running soundlessly behind us, even Jacob's loud thudding and huffing echoed from the distance. The forest road came to an end after a long time of running. I dashed through the last set of thick trees and snow into the highway. We stopped on the spot and I looked around the highway for any sign of skidding tires. The moment I saw the marks stained by blood spilled from a dead deer, the smell blew into my face. Mostly the dead deer's blood mixed with gas and smoke, and very faintly, a smell of appetizing blood. Edward realized them too, with his own eyes and through my mind.

I ran toward the edge where the marks flew off the edge of the road. The fragrance of the deer's blood increased - I ignored it completely.

I stopped by the edge when I saw the car. The Suzuki was at least 10 feet down the ravine, flipped upside down and supported by some broken trees that probably got ripped off their roots by the vehicle's weight, but at the same time broke its fall. If they hadn't been there... if they had been any less sturdy, it would have fallen down the ravine and sunken 20 feet under the frozen lake.

My tiny relief was clouded by the sudden breeze that blew a compelling, appetizing fragrance into my face. It was sweeter than anything I had ever tasted. My throat immediately burst into flames, scorchingly parched. The source of the smell promised to end this burning thirst.

I was torn by the vampire that was telling me run down the ravine and kill the girl in the car, and the human that fought to remind me who was in it and who I was. The human and the vampire fought each other hard and relentlessly, both of them tried to persuade me to give in to one of them.

June's face appeared in my head as the human part fought back the vampire's strength, allowing me to focus on what I should be doing. What I came for.

"Thomas," Edward warned. The others' soundless approach came up behind us.

I inhaled the cold air, contained it in my throat and rushed down the ravine. My arm pulled open the driver's door, thrusted it away and half-climbed inside the car with my head. She laid unconsciously upside down, fastened by the seatbelt that held her in place. Small streams of blood dripped from her head, and her widely spread black hair and her left wrist, probably impacted by the fall. The sight of the blood was deliciously appealing even when I couldn't smell it. My throat burned even hotter; the sound of her beating heart promised the end the fiery pain. The vampire tried to rip through my conscience again. I fought to focus on June's face, telling myself what I came here for. To save the girl that I loved so much and bury the vampire back in. In that instant, I was a little relieved to hear her heartbeat - it meant she was alive. But not for long. Not unless I save her.

I put my hand under her head, careful not to hurt her and unfasted the seatbelt around her hips with my other hand. As soon as it fell off, she landed into my arm.

I focused on the task to ignore the warmth of her body as I put her carefully into my arms and carried her out of the car.

"Carlisle," I whispered, releasing little of the oxygen in me.

He appeared in 1/3 of a second and examined June's body. Her mouth breathed and half-opened her eyes as she regained consciousness. Those brown irises turned to me.

"Sam..." she said my name weakly.

I grinned, overwhelmed to hear her voice, to see her look at my face again. But the smell of her blood flowed into my nose and the fire in my throat burned again. I immediately turned away, closed my eyes, fought to hold my breath and pursed my lips. The appealing warmth of her body was no help when it was flooding throughout my whole body.

"It doesn't look like anything serious, but I should take her to the hospital to check her better," Carlisle suggested.

I immediately handed her into his arms and whispered. "Take her."

"Edward."

"On it, Carlisle," he replied and darted into the forest faster than wind.

I heard Carlisle rush up the ravine with June and disappeared. Her body's warmth lingered on the skin of my arms and torso. It got worse when I tried to inhale some fresh air and accidentally swallowed the fragrance of her warm blood.

Compelled by desire, I looked down on hands and saw small drops of blood stained to my palm. My throat burned strongly, the dry feeling now screamed at me to put an end to this torment. Just drink it and it will end.

I breathed in the scent again - it made my throat burn even more painful.

The vampire inside me was winning, now that my goal had been reached. Just a little sip to end it.

I lifted my hand and inhaled the smell through my mouth. Venom streamed between my tongue and my teeth. June's blood was more mouthwatering than anything I'd ever tasted. June...

June! June!

Letting out a high pitched shriek, I held my monstrous instincts at bay, and ran toward the lake and jumped through the solid ice. The cold water underneath covered my body completely, including my sense of smell. The steam washed away the blood. But the burning didn't disappear; it lingered in the tissues of my throat, urging me to find more blood to satiate it.

I swam up to the surface again and started to wildly splash water up into the air, over my head, and let the waterdrops fall on me. Somehow, the burn began to ease. I sank underneath again, drowned myself to the bottom as the pain minimized by the second. It was still there, but no longer burned as powerfully.

I did not resurface until Alice and Bella came looking.