13:30 am and school in a few hours...oops...

So happy to be updating!

Barely scraped an Excellence in my last internal so no more Fanfiction writing the day before exams and such again!

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Really glad the last chapter was enjoyed - thanks for commenting!

Do hope you enjoy this one - it is only half a chapter as it was getting too long.

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Skylar Grey - Don't Look Down

Clair de Lune - Debussy (je l'aime!)

It was a non-stop four hour flight from San Francisco to Chicago. The other passengers all stared at us as we filed onto the plane. I guess there's a certain look all ballet dancers have – tired and, almost always, pretty skinny or muscular.

As soon as we were in the air and the seatbelt sign was off, I got up and went to find Jacob. We were in alphabetical order so he wasn't too hard to spot, being in the first row. I walked briskly up the aisle to him, desperate to tell him the news. But I found him asleep, his eyes shut, his face so relaxed. His dark lashes brushed his tanned skin, his brows pressed together slightly. I had never seen him so unguarded and vulnerable. He was usually so focused and intense. His hands lay in his lap. Even now, his pointer fingers seemed to be lifted – a true dancer. Seeing him like this gave me a little hope that we could turn things around tomorrow. Because I knew that if we wanted any chance of keeping our roles, we had to change everything.

The cabin lights dimmed. I gave Jacob one more affectionate look. I wouldn't burden him with the news; what difference would it make, anyway? He needed to rest.

I went back to my seat and pulled the thin, complimentary blanket up over me. I was exhausted. The two USB girls beside me were both asleep, just like everyone else, it seemed. I closed my eyes…

But my mind was wide awake. "We shall give them one last night to prove themselves…then we will make the final decision…"

"She looked like a deer in the headlights."

"Bella is the issue here."

"She's boring as hell…"

What was I going to do? How could I possibly prove myself? How could I change everything in a day? Was that even a good idea? I had worked so hard to dance the way I did…and yet now it appeared that the audiences hated it. They hated me.

I crossed my legs and uncrossed my legs, twisting from side to side restlessly. I realized I wanted to be in a ballet studio right now, not cooped up on a plane. I remembered the feeling of the last scene with Edward – the aching pain and thrill of each step. But if I really had looked like a deer in the headlights, it wouldn't surprise me. I hadn't danced in that way for such a long time. I had drilled it out of my head. How long would it take to get it back in there? Was it even possible? It felt as foreign as it did familiar.

But I would have to find a way or I would spend the rest of the tour in the audience. And I didn't think I could face that, even if Tanya was better than me.

I didn't sleep. I tried to watch a movie and listen to music. I even tried to read the inflight magazine. But I was too tired. And yet my mind would not let me rest.

When the cabin lights finally flickered back on and the pilot announced our descent into Chicago, I could hardly lift a finger to put my seatbelt on. Everyone else was drowsily waking up and getting all excited again – it was Chicago, after all. But I just wanted to get off and collapse, even though I was sitting down already. Caius came round to tell everyone the procedure for when we landed. I could hardly look at him. It was ironic that my ex-headmaster was the one to give me one more chance and Caius was the one to turn completely against me.

I found Jacob's bag for him at the carousel and brought it to him. He didn't even thank me, but I understood how long his day had been. And how humiliating. I let him be alone – tomorrow was going to be a strain for him.

A bus met us outside the airport and drove us through the flashing lights of downtown Chicago. A headache slowly started to throb in my temples so I turned away from the window and closed my eyes again. Nothing. Sleep just wasn't going to happen. It was almost two in the morning by the time the bus pulled up outside our hotel. Everyone got their bags and room keys sorted fairly quickly, then listened to Carlisle's announcement of a late class tomorrow so that they could rest.

I met Jasper in the corridor, carrying a sleeping Alice in his arms. He gratefully offloaded one of his bags to me and let me open the door to our room. It was similar to the last, with a view looking right into some office windows and two single beds with clashing purple and blue bedspreads. "Crazy girl," he murmured, pulling back the sheets with one hand and laying her down.

"She's too energetic," I said with a smile, putting her suitcase at the foot of her bed. My head was still throbbing.

"Can't be more tired than you, though," Jasper replied, tugging off her shoes. He was the perfect boyfriend – that much was undeniable. He looked up at me, a lock of blonde hair over one eye, "You danced well tonight. Edward was very lucky."

"That Jacob was so exhausted that he could remind everyone who was better?" I muttered. It wasn't really a retort – just a tired question.

"No," said Jasper, pulling the covers over Alice and gently tucking her in. "That he got the chance to dance with you."

"I was dead half the time," I reminded him, tugging out my hairpins – maybe that was the source of my headache.

Jasper laughed softly, finally straightening up, "Still, I have not seen him dance like that in a long time. And when he dances like that, I wonder why he bothers going to Force. In Russia, he would already be a soloist with the Bolshoi, at least, not still hanging around with us students. Our careers are already short as it is."

"Are you calling me short?" came a mumble from behind Alice's jet black hair.

Jasper grinned and bent down to kiss her on the cheek, "Not at all, my dwarf."

She grumbled something or other and pulled him back down for a proper kiss. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Alice," Jasper whispered, brushing back her hair. She was already back to sleep. He gave her one final, doting look. "And goodnight, Bella," he said to me on the way out. "Sleep well!"

"You too," I said as he shut the door.

I sat down on my bed and blinked. Once. Twice.

And then I was up, grabbing my dance bag and tugging my hair back up into a ponytail as I went out the door.

I found the hotel's one conference room and quickly pushed back the tables. I would no doubt get in trouble with the hotel later, but I didn't really care. I pulled on some leggings and took off my skirt, exchanging my flats for pointes. It was a good sized room – it would almost constitute a stage.

I placed my phone on a table and cranked it up to full volume. I was used to rehearsing without music, but I knew that what I was doing had always required that connection with the music – it wasn't just counting.

I turned it to my first variation and began.

It was a bouncing, boisterous waltz, with pirouettes and little jumps. I started from the back of the 'stage', stepping onto pointe and spinning on my toes, careful to have my chest up and my arm in the right position…

I stopped and paused the music. "Focus, Bella," I whispered to myself. "Well, unfocus…"

Happy – the music was happy. And she was meant to be happy; it was her ball and she'd just seen this handsome stranger in a mask.

I tried again. The smile plastered to my face felt so fake it could have practically fallen off.

Happiness, I thought. How was I meant to do this? How had I done it earlier – gotten into the whole world of the dance, like it was really happening?

I knew Edward had been there. But I had done this on my own, too. And I had to do it again. I tried. I tried and tried. I listened to the music intently, trying to connect with its joy. I could hear its emotion…it just stirred nothing in me.

It wasn't long before I gave up with that variation. I sat down on the table and just held my head in my hands. I was so tired. So painfully tired. But I had my last chance in fourteen hours' time – there was no way I could stop now.

And then the music began. Those still, hushed notes, dropping into my soul like rain on the ground. And it was truly my soul, because I felt my whole being breathe with each phrase. I closed my eyes, letting the delicate piano notes pull me in.

I danced. I danced like I used to, with the glorious stretch in my arms as I reached with each arabesque for that unknown, intangible thing. I felt the air brush around me as I spun, felt the breath flow in and out with each step, with each sweet change of the piano's chords. I did not feel tired or sore. I just felt like I was floating. As the fast notes swirled around me, I soared, twirling, spinning; dancing. But then they slowed…

…and we found ourselves back in the middle, at the beginning. Edward slowly turned me, making me as delicate as the notes themselves. And as they reached their final flourish, we stood chest to chest, perfectly aligned. I looked up, into his calm eyes. It wasn't so much a conscious look we gave now, but something deeper...inexplicable. The last note faded, and our lips gently touched…

A tear slid down my cheek. I had stopped dancing.

Shakily, I sunk to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees. The tears flowed and flowed as I finally, finally let in the memories of what it had once been like. The love I had felt for him. The connection we had had. That connection which made everything else so…insignificant. Dancing with him had been perfect – there was no other word for it. To know a person's heart and mind so well that each step was so perfectly together seemed impossible now, and yet it had happened. It had all happened. Everything I had pushed away, everything I had locked in the back of my mind. It washed over me now, in waves of excruciating, glorious pain. The Bella Swan of Force in her entirety, who followed her heart recklessly, even to the point of lying to the one she loved the most so that she could just spend a day more with him in the bliss he gave her. He had made me happy. I had pretended for such a long time that he had always been hurting me, even before that one horrible last day. But it was all made out of passion. Pure, unrelenting passion.

I stayed there for a long time after the piece finished. When all my tears had been shed, I stood back up and turned my music back to the first variation.

I danced. It wasn't easy, trying to pull up happiness from the strange, empty cavern in my chest. I had pretended to be fulfilled. I hadn't been. Rehearsals and coffee breaks – that wasn't enough to live on. But that had been my life for these past months. Now, what was there to hold onto? How could I be a happy, unconcerned fourteen-year-old girl?

But I did my best. I just felt through the moves with the music, learning them in a different way to how I knew them before. I realized why the choreographer had put a turn there, or wanted her forward in another section. I began to understand the music…but the connection was still not there, not in its entirety.

At six, I left my bag and phone behind and went to get Jacob. The corridors blurred a little as I counted down the doors but I ignored it. There were more important things than tiredness to contend with. I knocked on Jacob's door and heard a faint grunt on the other side. Eventually, it creaked open and Gerry stood there in just his boxer briefs.

"Oh, come on!" I exclaimed.

He was clearly not awake enough to care, "What are you doing here, Bella?"

"Jacob," I said in lieu of an explanation and walked on in.

"Bella, he needs sleep," Gerry said, waking up a little more.

I went to the big lump in the second bed and shook. "Jacob," I whispered. "Wake up."

There was a groan. And then nothing.

"Jacob!" I said a little louder, giving his shoulder a poke. "You need to get up."

"Piss off," came a murmur.

"No," I said. "They're replacing us, Jacob."

"Go talk to your ex," he said into the pillow. "Dick."

"Jacob!" I said loudly, pulling off his covers. He rolled over, his face furious. "If we don't change everything by tonight, they're replacing us. Edward is going to be playing Romeo permanently."

"What?" he finally sat up. "Turn on the light."

Gerry huffed and flicked on the bedside lamp. Thank God he'd thrown a pair of pants on.

Jacob blinked and rubbed his eyes, "How do you know this?"

"While you were sulking, I was eavesdropping on the teachers' conversation."

"They can't do this," he said, standing up. All his joints clicked. He cracked his neck. "Carlisle Cullen is such a dick."

"It was more Helen and Caius, actually," I said.

"It's probably your turn out they want to ditch," he muttered, pulling on a t-shirt. "And your arabesque loses more height every night."

"Jacob," I said, putting a hand on his arm. He stopped and looked at me distastefully, but I didn't let go. "Look, it's not our technique that's the issue. It's the lack of everything else. We're boring and you know that."

He shook my hand off and snatched his bag up from the floor, "You've been talking to Edward again."

"I danced differently last night!" I exclaimed. "And the audience liked me for once!"

"No they didn't," he snapped, turning on me. "They liked Edward because they've always liked Edward."

I ignored the burning comment and kept going, "But have you ever wondered why they like Edward, Jacob? It's not because you got drunk and he took over! It's because they understand his dancing! He gives himself to the audience in a way that you never have!"

Jacob's look scorched me. He was beyond furious. So furious his face blurred…but maybe that was just me…

"Jacob…" Gerry began, seeing the same anger I saw. "Just calm down."

"Jacob," I whispered quietly, desperately. "You helped me once, when I didn't even think I could continue with ballet – you taught me so much. And now it's my turn to help you."

"I don't need your help."

"Then what are you going to do?" I asked. "Just dance the same as you always do?"

"I'm going to rehearse," he said and marched through the door.

I gave Gerry an exasperated look and followed Jacob out.

"Well, I'm rehearsing with you," I called.

"Fine," he replied, not slowing down.

"It's the third floor," I told him as I reached the elevator. He begrudgingly pressed the button.

He began barre straight away, without a single word to me.

I turned on my music and began dancing again, in some kind of hope that he would see that it wasn't so bad. It was my first variation again, with all the twirls and arabesques. I felt the satisfaction as the music rose and turned with me, as if each note was written perfectly for the movement. But my worry for Jacob still came through, making me lose focus at points. I wished I could sink back into that feeling Clair de Lune had given me. Even if it had been so painful, it had lifted the weight of everything off my shoulders and just let it all out for a moment.

"You're sloppy," Jacob remarked as I finished.

"You were watching," I replied, turning off the music. "Really, it's not that bad, Jacob."

"It's not the way I do things." He continued on with his frappes – his leg swinging up and then sharply back down. He looked like a soldier – with military efficiency and blankness.

"But why not try?" I said. "Why not just see what it's like?"

"Because this is the only way I know!" Jacob snapped, stopping.

I felt sympathy creep into my mind, "You can do it, Jacob," I said softly. "I know you can dance with more than just technique."

"You've never seen me do it," he said.

I gazed at him – this boy who seemed so confident and sure of himself…and yet couldn't show people that person on stage. "You have done it before," I said. "A long time ago – before Monsieur Repin. There must have been some reason you wanted to dance."

"I've grown up," he replied.

"A grown up wouldn't give up their dream because they were afraid to try something new." I looked at him bluntly, "You're going to lose Romeo."

Jacob huffed and pushed the chair he'd been using a barre into the corner. "Fine," he said. "Try."

"Alright," I said. "The balcony scene. Just try and imagine that you've just fallen in love with Juliet and you're really happy about it."

"So smile?" he said, getting into position.

"Guess that's a start," I muttered and turned on the music.

He began, running on and looking up at where I would usually be standing.

"You're meant to be looking hopeful," I said, walking round to watch him. "You want her to be there."

"The audience can't see my face," he put his hand to his chest like the choreography instructed.

"That doesn't matter," I said. "It's not about them – it's just about feeling it. If you break out of the emotion once, it's so hard to get it back."

He kept dancing. It was silly of me to mention emotion, since he really hadn't had any from the beginning, facing the front or not. "Just smile," I told him. He purposefully made it as sarcastic as possible. "At least try, Jacob!"

"You sound like Helen," he breathed, setting off on a long series of jetes and turns.

Watching him made me dizzy. I shut my eyes then opened them, but the room still seemed to spin…

But my entrance was close. Swallowing, I went to my starting position.

"And now you're just not going to reply?" Jacob snapped. I couldn't quite understand his words. "What a great teacher."

As the violins sounded my entrance, the world went black and I fell to the ground.

"What the Hell have you done?"

"She fainted. All by herself. Not my fault."

"Jesus, you are a fucking idiot, Jake. Bella…" I felt warm hands on my head, lifting it onto something…someone's lap. "Bella, wake up."

"Just give her some time. She was just being a drama queen."

"Do you not care at all?"

"She's my partner, you prat."

"You don't treat her like one. Bella, come on." Fingers brushed my cheek. "Wake up."

"I don't see how this is any of your business."

"Most things you do end up being my business because that's what you want. If she doesn't wake up in the next minute, I'm getting Carlisle."

"Glad to see I'm pushing your buttons."

"And that is not a good idea, Jake. I always win, just like I won two years ago."

"Not this time."

"What…" I murmured.

"Bella," Edward's voice sighed with relief.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked up into his. "Edward…"

His lips curved in a smile, his green eyes shining. He seemed to take up my whole vision with that perfect face.

I blinked and looked around. I was in a conference room, I thought…

Chicago. The performance. Tonight.

"Oh God," I pushed myself off of Edward and heaved myself up, using the table. "How long was I out for?" I sought out Jacob's face. "How much time have we lost?"

"About ten minutes," Jacob said, looking agitatedly at Edward.

"Bella," Edward's face came back into view. His hands gripped my shoulders, his eyes serious, "When was the last time you slept?"

I was thankful for his support – I was swaying rather spectacularly. "Doesn't matter." I bit my lip and stepped out of his hold, immediately reaching for a table, "We need to start rehearsing."

"Agreed," Jacob said. "Edward, leave."

Edward just shook his head, "Bella, you need to rest. And eat. Have you even had food since last night? Or slept?"

I gave him a look.

He stared at me incredulously, "Bella! You have got to take care of yourself or you won't just be fainting."

"Don't be so melodramatic," Jacob said dismissively. "She's just dedicated."

Edward's arm was round my waist before I could refuse, "Okay, come on."

"No," I muttered, swaying against his lean body.

"Bella, if you don't come with me right now, I will go and get Carlisle and your time as Juliet will be over."

I took in a shaky breath, looking up at him, "You wouldn't."

His look told me that he would. He really would.

"Fine," I snapped.

So sorry for the abrupt ending but I don't think my brain will take another three hours of writing to finish the other half!

I am now entering into exam time, so please no more comments about me having a 'duty' to my readers to update every five minutes (you're awesome, of course, but I do have other things to contend with).

Really hope you enjoyed! Please do review and tell me your thoughts!

Fingers crossed for a reasonably quick update! Thanks for reading!