37. Admission

Hiei waited until the onna had stopped crying before he attempted to move. They had been curled up in the small alcove for a while and he was sure that everyone was looking for them. He reached up and gently fixed the beanie on her head before pointing out toward the corridor he had come from. She nodded at him and Hiei took the lead as he crawled out from the niche. The hall was still void of any spectators or contestants, to Hiei's content, and he reached down to help the onna up. He examined her arm, using his shirt to wipe off the blood as he checked the wound. It was not a big gash, but it ran from her shoulder to her elbow and he scowled. He would have to ask Yukina to heal it, just to make sure that it did not scar, but he was relieved that the onna was physically fine. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. Hiei reached up to wipe her cheeks and he gave her a soft smile. He pulled her to him, his hand wrapped around her waist, before he turned to make his way back to the VIP room.

The trek was mostly silent, but sporadically the onna's shoulders would convulse. He knew what she had been trying to do. She did not want to cry anymore, something that Hiei wanted as well, but in order for her to work through it, he knew he had to let her cry. He felt her weight against him as they walked, yet he still found her to be extraordinarily light. Even as she leaned against him and took such tentative steps, Hiei held her steady. They boarded the elevator in silence. Although he would have normally enjoyed the silence, the grinding of metal as the elevator ascended was chipping away at his sanity. His chest was tight with some foreign emotion as he glanced down at the onna, and he could not help himself but to hold her closer.

"What happened?" he finally asked.

Aria focused her gaze forward and shook her head.

"I could tell something was wrong." He admitted as he narrowed his eyes at her. She still refused to look at him. "Was it a memory?"

She shrugged. Her indifference chilled Hiei. She was never short with her replies like this, and he knew something serious had to have happened. The elevator stopped and they stepped out together. Aria moved from his side and began to amble off, but Hiei reached out to her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her back.

"I… don't know why you're hiding it." He said, voice low, "but you don't have to suffer it alone."

Tears welled up in Aria's eyes as she shook her head. She was afraid he would think lowly of her, and she was terrified that something else could be wrong with her.

"Show me." He whispered.

Aria could feel Hiei's energy push at the edge of her mind, a gentle prod that asked for permission to enter, and fear made her heartbeat accelerate. It thrummed in her chest, a trapped hummingbird seeking refuge, as she considered letting him see what had happened in that ring. She knew that he must have been disappointed, and she hated herself for her second-rate performance. For a moment, Aria leaned into him with the fleeting idea to let Hiei know, to let him see the truth, but her inner terror made her freeze. What if he hated her? Her hands shook as she gripped at Hiei's arms.

Mine… came the malicious hiss once more, the only one who is allowed to touch you is me.

Aria jerked herself forward and away from Hiei. Her shoulders where he had been hugging her suddenly burned as if she had been scorched. Hiei stared at her, his duo-colored eyes wide, as he watched the onna hug herself. She turned towards him, her eyes filled with tears as she shook her head. With a sharp pivot on her heel, the onna dashed away from him. Hiei stood with his arms outstretched as he watched her disappear into the VIP room, and his mouth fell agape. His chest ached as he stared at the spot she had been, the tears in her eyes and the broken grimace was burned into his eyes. She had just been crying and he had asked her to show him so he could help her. He did not expect such a terrified response.

"Hiei?" a voice called from behind him, "There you are. I've been looking for you."

He turned to find Kurama. The red head had just come from the infirmary it seemed. Hiei could tell that he had been treated for his injuries from his fight since his right palm was now bandaged and he looked as if he had finally taken a shower and changed his clothes.

"Are you alright?"

Hiei spun from his friend to eye the VIP door. He had so many thoughts racing through his head. So many questions lingered on the tip of his tongue. Where on earth could he start? "I… I'm not sure."

"What happened?" Kurama asked as he stepped up to his friend. "Could you not find Lady Aria?"

So, the Fox did not see what had happened. For a moment Hiei thought about being relieved, of course his pride was injured after such a form of rejection, but he bit at the inside of his cheek in worry. What if he had done something to cause the onna to react that way? Was he too forward with his movements? Did he frighten her?

"No, I found her." Hiei finally stated. His duo-colored eyes fell to his hands as he tried to explain himself. He could not sort out what he felt, but he disliked the feeling greatly.

"Hiei," his companion started, "What happened?"

The hanyou closed his eyes. How could he explain this? Did he want to? The last time he had gone to Kurama for advice, he and Mukuro had both betrayed his trust to Yusuke. He knew that it was necessary, given the circumstances, but he did not want to trust the Fox with such delicate information again. However, he had no options. He had no idea what this was or why it was happening.

You love her… Don't you?

Serenade's voice whispered in his ear, gently. He remembered the conversation they had that morning and he knew that he must ask the question that languidly circled in his mind. He had not believed in the clan leader's words before, but as he considered them now, he had to admit that the woman had given him her blessing. She had suspected him of it, and sounded like she accepted it, but he did not know what to do with such a thing.

"Kurama…" He caught the red head's attention the moment his name slipped from his lips, "What… What is love?"

Kurama blinked at his shorter friend. "I'm sorry Hiei, but I think I misheard you. Did you just ask me about love?"

A heated crimson and teal glare snapped in his direction. "Yes," Hiei replied, "I did."

"You've never had an interest." Kurama tried to rationalize. Hiei had always been dead set on never having a mate, and he would always tell Kurama that a killer like him never deserved love, yet here he was asking about it.

"Are you going to shut up and explain it? Or should I leave?" Hiei grumbled. He felt as though asking such a question of the Fox was a detrimental blow to his pride, especially if he could not keep his stupid mouth shut.

Kurama nodded. "Yes, yes. I just had to make sure. Come, I'm sure we can use the other room to discuss this. We do have to hear Koto's announcements."

Hiei let his taller friend pass and fell into step behind him. His thoughts travelled to the onna and the frightened look on her face and he grit his teeth. He did not remember if he did something to make her afraid of him, or to make her pull away from his mere touch, but Hiei knew that something had to be wrong. It started in that fight and he wanted to know what it was, but first, he needed an answer. The two demons entered the empty room and Kurama took a seat. He motioned for Hiei to follow suit as he pondered his friend's question and the fire and ice demon complied. Silence reigned for only a moment before Kurama turned his emerald gaze onto Hiei. He hardly knew where to begin with such a subject.

"Love is a strong emotion that can strengthen and weaken anyone. It is…" His voice trailed off as he tried to think of an appropriate response to Hiei's surprising question. "It is a sort of affection for another being or creature, Hiei. There are many different kinds of love, but they fall under two categories. The first one is platonic love."

Hiei blinked at him.

"Uh… Right." Kurama cleared his throat. "Platonic love is a lot like friendship. You care deeply for that person and respect them. Another form of love would be romantic love. Romantic love involves courting. It's a deep sense of care and desire for someone which can be an emotional desire to be with and feel for that one person, or a… uhm… physical love."

He ended with an awkward cough. Hiei's eyes widened at the insinuation, but the shock melted into a scowl as he averted his gaze from his friend. He was unsure of himself at that point as he recalled everything he had thought about and felt for the onna over the past year.

"…na."

Kurama blinked. The end of Hiei's muttered phrase had barely reached his keen ears and he watched his friend with a curious glance. It was obvious that the younger demon was struggling with his thoughts and Kurama wanted to help his longtime friend, yet he had nothing that he could do for him. This was something that he had to come to terms with himself.

"What was that, Hiei?"

"I… feel something…" the hanyou muttered again.

Kurama could only speculate on who it was that Hiei had developed feelings for, but the kitsune did not want to assume. Despite his mutterings, Kurama figured out what Hiei had been trying to say, and he let out a soft sigh.

"What is it that you feel?" he asked.

Hiei scowled as his gaze flickered back up to Kurama. He was agitated, he knew, but the stupid continuation of relentless questions was becoming more than simple agitation. He was uncomfortable and the words shot out from his lips with a dual intent.

"Arousal," he purposely spat. Kurama's face nearly went as red as his hair, which Hiei thoroughly and silently enjoyed.

Kurama turned his head to hide his reddened face. "Uhm, anything else?"

Hiei smirked in victorious glee. "When she was fighting. I couldn't stand it." He watched as Kurama turned back and gave him is full attention and Hiei sighed. "When she started to lose focus. Fox, she was so distracted by something that she completely let herself get beat on. Her mind wasn't there."

Kurama frowned. "You felt helpless, having to watch her crumble like that."

Hiei nodded.

"What about when you found her?"

"Angry and…" Hiei's voice trailed off. He had experienced grief once before when Sensui had killed Yusuke in an attempt to destroy the human world, and he had never wanted to experience such a painful moment ever again. However, when it came to the onna, he had no choice. "…sad. It bothered me. When she got out, I ran to find her. You know where I found her? In a small alcove crying. I… I…"

"You wanted to hold her. Protect her. Comfort her, maybe?" Kurama finished for him.

Hiei nodded again.

"Love encompasses all of that, Hiei. When you love someone, all you want is for them to be safe; happy. You wish to protect them and show them that you care, and you usually wish for that affection to be reciprocated. You'd want them to feel the same for you."

Hiei's eyes widened as he realized what Kurama was telling him. Despite his denial for months, Hiei found himself unable to deny the Fox's words. He wanted to protect Aria. He wanted her to smile and laugh; she deserved happiness after what she had been forced to go through. He would take glances at her when no one was looking, or steal some form of a hug from her when he could. He enjoyed her cool skin. Her silver eyes. He wanted to… cherish her. Hiei bent forward and put his face in his hands. How could he have been so blind? How could he not see it? The pain he felt when she pulled away was dejection. He felt rejection. Hopeless, he decided. He was absolutely hopeless when it came to the onna.

"Hiei?" Kurama softly asked. "Do you…?"

"Yes, you stupid Fox." The insult was not there. The bite Hiei would usually have when insulting him was gone and all Kurama saw was a grown man crumbling under a strong realization that would have sent him to his knees if he were standing. He watched as Hiei looked up at him, his façade finally broken.

"I love her. I love the onna."

I apologize that this chapter was so short, but I found myself unable to tear myself away from this scene when it popped into mind! I hope you all enjoy it!

SilverLinedApathy: Thank you for your review and amazing encouragement! I was unsure if the mixture would go well, especially since it took a rather dark turn, but I'm happy to hear that it was "an amazing chapter!" I love reading your comments because they fuel me to try and keep that same standard.

Totidem Verbis: I'm so happy to hear that you love all the bonds and connections happening! Also, Jin is a cutie and one of my favorite side characters in YYH. I agree that Hiei strikes me as a protective individual, especially after the Yukina arc! It really showed that he was a man of many masks, yet protected those in which he cared about. As you know, Aria is my baby, so I hate to write out her traumatic suffering, but what can you do? Haha. She demands for her story to be told! Well, I guess this chapter answers why he's so tune into her, eh? :)