AN: I hope to all those who celebrated, that you had a lovely Christmas. To everyone else, happy holidays! You were all so kind on the last part, so thank you! Welcome to new readers and thank you to original readers for sticking around.

I look forward to hearing from you after this next part.

MEREDITH

When the elevator opens to the third floor, everything is the same. I don't know what I expected—maybe some man to just be standing there holding a gun or some kind of carnage—but everyone seems relaxed. I reread my page: Code Silver. I'm pretty sure that means weapon, but maybe someone made a mistake. The likelihood of there being a weapon in this hospital is pretty unlikely. We have some of the best security of any hospital in the country.

Cristina walks up to me. "Are we supposed to be freaking out or no?"

"No, I guess not."

"Cool. Have you told Derek yet?"

We begin walking down the hallway. "How am I supposed to start that conversation?"

DEREK

"Sir, I have to impress upon you that you cannot go to the scene of a potential mass shooting!" Alan says. "We do not have enough information, but if there is still a live shooter at the hospital, protocol says—"

I'm walking down the hallway towards the elevator which will take me to a car. "Does it look like I give a shit about protocol, Alan?" I ask, jamming the down button.

Grant and Toby are by my side, but Alan, my Vice President, my Secretary of Homeland Security and my Secretary of Defense are all following closely behind.

"Sir, your Chief of Staff is right," Denise, my head of Homeland Security, says. "We can't allow you to put yourself in harm's way. You have to stay here."

"I'm on the phone with the police. SWAT is on their way. They have it covered, sir."

I drop my voice when I say, "Meredith isn't answering her phone. Not her cell or her home phone. She could be ignoring me, so I had Toby call and she didn't answer. She's there and something is wrong. I'm not going to just sit by while the woman I love could be in danger."

"Sir—"

"No!" I shout. "If one of you won't drive me, I'll drive myself. Or I'll walk. But I'm getting there."

I push the elevator button again.

A second later, Toby says, "I'll drive."

"Good."

MEREDITH

Cristina and I walk up the steps from the second floor. All she wants to talk about is the baby, which is exactly what I don't want to talk about. "So if you have it—"

"I probably won't," I tell her.

"But if you do, I hope it has his hair."

I can't help but smile. "Me too."

"When are you going to tell him?"

"Tonight, I guess. I mean, I need to find out how long I've been pregnant. That'll determine what we'll do next. I just can't believe this has happened. Did you know I've never taken a test before? I mean, what girl who made it through college didn't take a pregnancy test once or twice?"

Cristina shrugs. "I've taken at least three."

"See! You've been doing it right. What a mess."

"You know what's a mess? This whole weapon thing. I mean, there is no weapon and I have surgeries that I can't perform and it's all bullshit. No one has told us anything. No one is around."

I look around and Cristina's right. No one is around. "Where is everyone?"

"Hiding, I guess, but it—"

Bang.

Bang. Bang.

Cristina looks at me, "Wait were those…?"

"Gunshots," I finish.

DEREK

The hospital is a circus. Outside are rows and rows of cop cars and police barricades all along the outside ring of the hospital. All over officers are on phones, speaking into walkie-talkies, and strategizing. There's one central man pointing to the building and seemingly running the show. He's who I want to talk to.

I reach for the door handle.

"Sir," Grant stops me. "You shouldn't get out. Let me go talk to someone."

Grant is right, as much as I hate admitting it. "That guy there," I point him out. "I want to talk to him."

"Okay." Grant exits the car, leaving just Toby and I.

I keep trying Meredith's phone and she keeps not answering.

Toby hands me his phone. "Just in case she's screening your calls."

I keep calling.

"I'm sure she's fine," Toby says. "She's smart. She's probably somewhere safe."

He sounds nervous.

"I hope you're right."

Toby looks at me in the rearview mirror. "Me too."

MEREDITH

Cristina and I slip into a supply closet right as we hear another round of gunshots. I slide down onto the floor with my knees to my chest. Cristina props a chair beneath the door handle to keep the door secure. I put my head between my knees because I feel nauseous.

"We're not both crazy, right? Those were gunshots."

"They were," I say, my breathing labored.

"What's wrong?"

"I feel like I might puke."

"Okay, we gotta get out of here, 'cause I'm not staying in here after you stink up this place with your vomit," Cristina says.

I take another deep breath. "Don't say the word 'vomit'."

Cristina looks out the window, keeping an eye out, when my phone begins buzzing in my pocket. I pull it out and read the screen. Derek.

"Cristina," I show her.

"Is that the first contact?"

I nod. "Should I answer?"

Cristina rolls her eyes. "We're kind of in a situation right now, Mer. Let it go to voicemail."

I wait for the voicemail to come through and I think it won't, but then it does. He's left a long message. I type in my code and listen, "Hi Meredith, it's me. I think we should talk. I know you have some really genuine concerns about what I was asking of you last week and I want us to talk about it. You don't have to be First Lady. You don't have to be anything you don't want to be. But I hope you still want to be my wife because I want to be your husband. Please give me a call back. Okay. I love you. Bye."

"What did he say?" Cristina asks.

"He said—"

"Oh my god," Cristina ducks down. She mouths the word, shooter.

Suddenly I really do feel like I might puke. I put my hand over my mouth.

We both hold our breath and I keep my eye on the small window in the door. I wait and wait and wait, but I don't see anyone. After a few minutes, Cristina stands up enough to look out the window. "He's gone," she says quietly. Then she narrows her eyes, "April?"

DEREK

The Chief of Police approaches the car and Grant holds the door open for him as he slides in the backseat with me. He holds out his hand, "Mr. President," he greets.

I shake his hand. "Chief Olsen. What's going on?"

"We have three reported casualties so far, but we haven't gotten in there yet."

"Why not?"

"Protocol, sir. Until we know where the gunman is and how many gunmen there are, we can't go in there. We are surveilling the outside of the building to gain more information. We have spotted one gunman, but he disappeared on the second floor. Once we're sure there's only one, we'll go in."

"When will that be?"

"Soon, we hope."

I shake my head. "I know it's protocol, but as you stand out here, more people are dying."

"And that's why we're working quickly and safely. I know it's frustrating to just sit here, believe me I do, but we can't risk our officers' lives because they can't save anyone if they're dead. They are well-trained, sir, and they will be going in very soon, but not unless I give the order. I need to be out there."

I feel so confined in this car. "I'd like to be out there with you."

"Sir, I'm not sure—"

"Mr. President," Toby chimes in, "if his officers can't go in yet, you shouldn't be out there. We don't have enough information."

"He's right," Chief Olsen says. He lowers his voice, "I know your girl is in there. I know this is very personal to you. We are going to do our best, okay?"

I swallow hard. "Okay."

MEREDITH

April is breathless as she sinks down onto the floor. She's clearly been crying.

"What's happening?" Cristina asks, kneeling next to April on the floor.

"He's just shooting everyone he sees. Two nurses, a guard." She's almost hysterical. "He shot Alex. I don't know where Jackson is. He was supposed to be in OR two, but he's not there."

Cristina looks at me. "He shot Alex?" I ask.

April nods. "Owen and I found him in the elevator. Owen's working on him now. They're down the hall in exam room four. I left to get help. We need help and I need to find Jackson."

"Owen's okay?" Cristina asks.

"He is."

"But Alex," I say.

April reaches out and squeezes my upper arm. "Owen has him. He'll be okay."

"We should go there."

Cristina shakes her head. "Are you crazy?"

"They need help. I'll go to Alex and you go with April to find Jackson."

"That's an idiotic plan."

I'm already standing. "Exam room four is right across the cat walk. April made it. It'll take me thirty seconds."

"Meredith—"

"I could already be there by now. You two find Jackson. It'll be fine."

I'm expecting Cristina to disagree with me again, but she doesn't. She stands and so does April. I look out the window and the hallway is clear. "Text me when you find Jackson, okay?"

Cristina nods. "Text me when you get to Alex." I remove the chair from beneath the handle. "Be careful, Mer," she says.

I look at Cristina. "You too."

DEREK

Chief Olsen comes back to the car a few minutes later. Toby rolls the back window down enough for Olsen to tell me, "We're sending guys in. There's just one shooter and he's on the third floor. They're going to try to take him down."

"Good," I say with a long sigh. "Still three dead?"

"As far as I know. We do have some injuries, but I don't want to give hard and fast numbers, yet."

"Thank you, Chief."

"Of course, Mr. President."

I'm still not calm, but the likelihood that Meredith is one of those three is slim. She has to be fine.

Toby has turned on the police scanner we keep in the car and we're listening as the SWAT team enters the hospital. They talk in quiet code, voices bouncing off one another as they trudge slowly through the front entrance. So far, they find no bodies and no trace of the shooter. There are civilians hiding beneath the front desk, which the team sends out. I'm happy to hear they're sending people out from the building. I just now hoping that Meredith is not on the third floor.

MEREDITH

Cristina and April head to the left and I head to the right as we all leave the supply closet. I glance back and find Cristina glancing at me. I give her a nod and begin walking, keeping low to the ground just in case. The hallways are so quiet. I'm sure people are hiding in the rooms I pass, but no one makes a sound. I listen hard for the sound of shoes on the floors, but I hear nothing. I reach the doors to the cat walk and pull them open.

As I walk down the cat walk, I move quickly, just in case. As I reach the far end, I hear behind me, "Doctor Grey?"

Immediately I'm standing upright and I turn to the voice. There's a man standing there. A man who looks familiar. But I can't place him. Not at first. But when I do, I say, "Mr. Clark." I remember him now. He was devastated after his wife died. "Mr. Clark, you shouldn't be here. It's not safe."

"I know it's not safe here. That's the point. This hospital isn't safe."

"You should go someplace so you don't get hurt," I tell him. I want to get as far away from being out in the open as possible.

"I'm already hurt," he says. "You hurt me when you decided to kill my wife."

And then I see the gun.

DEREK

I lean forward in my chair. The SWAT team isn't talking much. They keep using code, which is incredibly frustrating. "What are they saying?" I ask Grant and Toby, both who know the code.

"They've counted five bodies. They haven't found the gunman yet."

"Five?" I ask. "Any descriptions?"

"No, but they found them in the waiting room," Toby explains. "It's probably not her."

I nod, although I don't feel good about the use of the word 'probably.'

MEREDITH

"Mr. Clark," I say and my voice trembles. I hold my hands up. I don't know why I do it, but it feels like something I'm supposed to do.

"Shut up," he says. "What kind of hospital is this? It isn't safe here. Somebody has to protect people. From you. Handing down judgments like you're God. You don't get to be God!

I try again, "Mr. Clark."

"No talking!" He points the gun at my chest.

"I didn't become a doctor because I wanted to be God," I say, my voice still shaking. I can feel the tears in my eyes. I don't want to cry. "I became a doctor because I wanted to save lives."

Mr. Clark shakes his head.

"Look at me, please. Look me in the eye," I say and I have no idea where this strength is coming from. "I'm a human being. I make mistakes. I'm flawed. We all are. Today, I think for you, it's just a mistake. You want justice. You want somebody to pay. I get that." I lower my hands because he's lowering his weapon. "You're a good man. I can see that in your eyes. Can you see the goodness in mine?"

Mr. Clark stares at me for a long, long time. Downstairs I hear rustling. I can't tell what it is.

The gun is at Gary Clark's side. His finger is still on the trigger. He just keeps staring at me.

I realize what the sound is beneath me when out of the corner of my eye, I see police officers turning the corner. Mr. Clark must see them as well because when I look back at him, his gun is raised.

I hold up my hands. "Mr. Clark—"

"No," is all he says and then I hear one gun shot, followed by about a dozen more, and then I'm on my back.

DEREK

"We have the target insight," the SWAT leader says. "He's about forty paces away from an individual. Gun is down at his side. The gunman is tall, lean, in his 60s. He has a mustache. Thinning hair. He's wearing a brown coat, a white button up, and jeans. The individual across from him is female. Medium height. Thin. Blonde hair tied back. She's wearing dark blue hospital scrubs. She's in her mid-30s."

My heart is hammering in my chest.

"We're getting in position to take the shot."

Silence except for my heart.

"Okay, and…SHIT! Take the shot, take the shot."

I hear one gunshot far away and then about a dozen more close by. I ball my hands into fists. "The individual is down. She is down, but so is the gunman. I repeat, the gunman is down."

Before I can even think, I've opened the backdoor and jumped from the car.

MEREDITH

At first I don't realize what's happened. There's too much commotion. I just know I am on my back on the floor. Did someone pull me down or knock me down? Did I fall? I can't figure it out. I stare up at the ceiling and try to figure it out.

I hear boots running all around. People.

A guy leans over me and is talking to me, but I can't hear. His hand presses to my chest. Why is he touching me?

I look over and Cristina is looking at me. She's above me and looks worried. I wonder if Owen is okay. Did April ever find Jackson? Where are Callie and Arizona?

"Meredith?" I hear Cristina say, but it sounds like she's underwater.

She pulls out her phone. She says my name again.

My chest hurts. My chest hurts, a lot. Like a lot.

DEREK

Grant and Toby are at my side as I reach the barrier. Chief Olsen is there.

"A blonde woman was shot," I tell him.

"What?" he shouts over the commotion.

"Who was the woman that was just shot?"

Olsen shakes his head. "I don't know."

He picks up his phone. He nods a few times and then glances at me. He looks worried. He says a few yeses and then ends the call.

"Who. Was. Shot?" I ask very slowly.

With a sigh, Chief Olsen says, "Meredith Grey."

MEREDITH

I'm on a gurney, but I can't stay coherent. Cristina keeps talking to me. She's saying stuff, but I can't hear. I've decided she's not under water; I am.

I realize I've been shot in my chest. My lower chest. Beneath my lungs. I can still breathe and I wouldn't be able to breathe if my lung had been shot. I'm also alive, so my heart probably wasn't shot. I don't know though because I've seen people shot in the heart before and they made it just fine. I could've been shot in the heart, but I'd have no idea.

While I'm being wheeled to the OR, presumably, I'm thinking about Derek and his message. He told me he loved me and that he wanted to talk. I'm not surprised that he still loves me; it's only been a week. But I am surprised he wants to talk. It seems like last time we talked, that everything was set in stone. I made myself clear. Unless he tells me he doesn't need a First Lady, I don't know how this is going to work. I mean…

My mind wanders as the pain grows.

DEREK

I have to wait an hour until I'm allowed inside. I fight verbally and physically to be allowed past the barrier, but no one will let me go. Grant and Toby physically restrain me while a row of officers block me off. I'm sure people have noticed me, but I don't care if people are taking videos or pictures. I need to get to Meredith.

After that hour, I'm allowed inside with an escort of Grant, Toby, and about a half dozen officers. Chief Olsen walks with us.

"A doctor by the name of Cristina Yang is going to be operating on Doctor Grey." Hearing Cristina will be operating makes me feel better. "They are in the OR right now. I don't know what any of this doctor mumbo-jumbo is, but it seems like the bullet didn't hit anything bad. They'll remove it and she'll be okay."

We step onto the elevator. I feel queasy.

"Doctor Yang says she needs about an hour more."

"I want to see Meredith now."

Grant steps into my field of vision. "Derek," he says. "The doctors need a minute to fix Meredith. Cristina is operating on her best friend. She needs space. Let's give it to her. They have a waiting room ready for us. As soon as they know anything, Cristina will come get us."

"But—"

The elevator door opens to a quiet hallway. The juxtaposition between the spots where people were shot and areas where nothing happened is startling. It's as if everyone has left these areas in favor of where destruction happened.

Toby walks next to me. "If you want we can have another doctor go in and check on Doctor Yang and see how it's going. But I think Grant is right; we need to keep our distance."

I hate to say it, but I do anyway. "You're right."

We walk into the waiting room and I sit down in a chair against the wall while Grant and Toby hang by the entrance. The squadron of officers leaves, so it's just the three of us.

I can't get my thoughts together. I feel like I'm drowning and I can't think of anything except Meredith lying in a pool of her own blood. I wonder what she thought the moment the bullet hit her. I remember exactly how I was feeling when I got shot, but I'm sure it's different for everyone. Once again, the realization that Meredith has been shot hits me and I press my face into my hands.

Who knows how long the surgery will take? I know I can't go in there, but I also can't just sit here. I have a job to do and a responsibility, plus, it might take my mind off everything if I get right to work.

I clear my throat. "I need a list of the dead and injured," I say.

Toby and Grant are both looking at me. Grant says, "Okay."

"And I should talk to the Chief of Surgery. Also, if Chief Olsen knows anything, I need to know. I should make a statement. We can do it from here."

"Sir, are you sure you're okay to make a statement."

I stand because I can't keep sitting. "I'm not okay, but none of this is okay. Even if I didn't know Meredith and the people of this hospital, it wouldn't be okay. So I need to make a statement."

Grant nods. "Okay. Toby, will you find the Chief of Surgery?"

"Miranda Bailey," I tell him.

"Yes, Doctor Bailey," Toby says. "I'll go find her and Chief Olsen."

It hits me that Richard and Ellis probably don't know. "We also need to call Richard. Maybe I should do that."

"Why don't you talk to the Chief of Surgery first and then you'll make the call."

"Okay."

Doctor Bailey shows up faster than I thought she would. She's small in stature, but she commands the room. As she approaches, I expect maybe a handshake or a formal hello since we've only met once, but she walks up and hugs me. Her hug is comforting. "I'm so sorry about Meredith."

My stomach drops. As she pulls away, she must see my face. "Oh no, sorry, she's fine!" she recovers quickly. "I mean, she is in surgery, but she'll be fine. I just meant I'm sorry she was shot. I know you know how that feels."

"I do. How is the surgery going?"

Bailey and I sit down. "Good. Doctor Yang was able to remove the bullet and Meredith will be fine. The bullet was close to her heart, but we're all very lucky that the shooter wasn't a great shot. Although, the police have the death count at eleven."

"Eleven?"

She nods. "Yes."

I shake my head. "That's too many. I'm so sorry."

"Me too. And I'm not sure if you heard, but Alex Karev was shot."

"Alex?" I feel sick.

Bailey nods. "He'll be okay. He's at another hospital. They got him out before the shooter was taken out. He was shot in his side which traveled North in his chest and collapsed his lung. I spoke to Doctor Yang and she said that's why Meredith was out of hiding and walking around; she was going to find Alex."

"That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing."

Bailey smiles, which quickly falls. "I also should tell you that the shooter was after Meredith, we believe."

"Why? Was it because of me?"

All I can think was this was a political move. I've thought about it before. Even with the security and the typical safety of a hospital, it doesn't mean Meredith is immune. From the beginning I've thought we needed more security around her, but I never brought it up from fear of her thinking I was smothering her. I wanted her to have relative freedom.

Bailey pats my hand. "No, not because of you. The shooter was the husband of a patient Meredith lost. It wasn't her fault, but Meredith had to unplug all life support and Mr. Clark took that as Meredith killing his wife. I'm not sure if that's exactly why he did all of this, but Cristina heard Mr. Clark mentioning his wife while she approached, before Meredith was shot. It makes the most sense."

"So he came for revenge and killed eleven people."

Doctor Bailey looks sad. "He did. He killed eleven people."

After my conversation with Doctor Bailey and my review of everything from Chief Olsen, I wait to hear news from Cristina. I know I need to address the nation, but information is still coming in and I really would like to see Meredith before I make a statement.

About an hour after Doctor Bailey left, Cristina Yang walks into the room. I stand. She pulls off her scrub cap and her thick dark hair falls over her shoulders. "Meredith is okay. She's going to be fine. Doctor Bailey said she told you the bullet was close to Meredith's heart and it was, but I was able to remove it and repair the damage. She'll be in some pain for a little while and the recovery isn't pretty, but she'll be alright."

I feel more relief than ever before. I reach forward and hug Cristina. She tenses for a second and then relaxes and hugs me back. I feel her shake once, like she might, too, be crying.

As I pull back, Cristina turns away from me. "Normally I wouldn't allow anyone in the ICU right now, but I'll make an exception. Come on, I'll bring you to her room."

We walk down the hallway and take the elevator up one more floor. Cristina leads me to a shut door and says, "I've asked the nurses to bring in a cot if you'd like to stay. She'll probably be out of it for a few hours, but you can sit with her."

"Thank you, Cristina."

She nods and walks away.

When I walk into the room, I see Meredith lying beneath the blankets with her eyes closed. She's very medicated and probably exhausted, so I walk in quietly. I move a chair next to her bed, but before I sit down, I lean over and kiss her forehead. She's warm and alive. She looks sickly—pale with bags under her eyes. I remember how I felt after getting shot, so I understand the need to just sleep.

I sit down next to her and take her hand in mine. She's wearing a hospital bracelet, but she's breathing. I lean down and press my forehead to the back of her hand and close my eyes. A few tears fall. I was so afraid I'd never see her again and now… She's alive.

I kiss the back of her hand and say to her as she sleeps, "I'm here. I love you and I'm here."

MEREDITH

I can't tell if I'm dreaming or not, but I heard Derek tell me he loves me. I feel weird and my eyes are too heavy to open, but even if it is a dream, it's nice to have him here. I'm not ready to wake up or do whatever it is that I need to do, so for now I just enjoy the feeling of his hand in my hand.