A/N: I appreciate the reviews, keep them coming and thank you!

A noise awakened him but as he stayed in bed, eyes closed, and listened all he heard was the soft breathing of Alex beside him. Breathing out, and pushing the concern away, he drifted back to sleep. Sometime later, he felt her stir against his side; at feeling the pressure of her body pressing into his, he pulled her close, wrapping his leg around hers as he fell back into a light slumber.

Then, he heard a noise again. Fighting against the darkness that wanted to enclose around him, he forced his eyes open into the dark bedroom. There was someone there, in the dark. He couldn't see who it was but he heard the soft noises and it wasn't Alex's breathing.

Pushing up in bed, he searched the room as his eyes tried to adjust to the dark. He noticed his door was slightly open, something that they never did, and a spike of fear rushed through him as he slowly got out of bed and went for his gun.

As he grabbed his gun off the dresser, a soft voice came from just inside the door and he nearly jumped at the sound. Staring down at the floor, his foggy tired head cleared as he realized what he was hearing. It was a child's voice, and he breathed out a deep breath as he dropped the gun back to the dresser. Rubbing at his head and eyes, he walked over to the door and looked down.

Nathan was sitting on the floor, playing with the strings to one of his boots and babbling softly. Bobby figured the kid was coming into the room thinking it was where his mom and dad were and got distracted. Leaning down, he picked the little boy up and sighed as Nathan didn't put up a fight but instead rested against his body.

"What're you doing up?" he quietly asked as he left the room. Feeling the sogginess of the diaper, he groaned as he realized why the boy was up.

"Bop," Nathan said as he smacked him in the chest. That had always been his way of greeting him, with a smack to the chest.

Going into the living room, he saw the twins still asleep on the pull-out bed from Alex's couch. Liz and Terry were in the study on the other pull-out from his couch. Not wanting to wake the parents, he searched around for Nathan's diaper bag and found it next to the recliner. He had never changed a baby's diaper before, but he'd seen it done.

Taking Nathan and the bag into the bathroom, he sat down on the toilet seat and laid the boy on the floor. As he pulled out a diaper a toy car fell out of the bag. Giving the toy to Nathan, hoping it would distract him while he changed him, he got to work on cleaning the boy up. Thankfully the kid had only peed because he was in no condition to deal with the other at the moment. His head was spinning slightly, a testament to how drunk he had gotten himself last night, and it would have probably made him sick. Then that would have been a very bad thing.

Tossing the wipes away, he got the diaper on and stood Nathan up. As he buttoned up the pajamas, Nathan wrapped his arms around his neck and wouldn't let go. He felt the kiss on his cheek before he realized what it was and then he nearly moved away before smiling slightly. This kid was very loving and affectionate, indicating to him that his parents treated him the same. With lots of hugs and kisses. Not wanting to disappoint the little guy, he gave him a kiss on his cheek and was thanked for it by the sweetest smile he had ever seen.

"Ready to go back to bed?" When Nathan shook his head no, he chuckled. "Then what do you think we should do?"

Nathan looked at him for a moment and Bobby wasn't expecting an answer. The boy was only a little over a year old and knew a few words and sounds. What Nathan did do was hold up his toy car and start driving to over his face and head.

Bobby couldn't help it, he laughed. "Okay, wanna play. We can play. C'mon." Picking Nathan up, he grabbed the bag and headed into the kitchen.

As Nathan played with his toys on the floor, he sat at the table watching him. His head was lying on his crossed arms and he couldn't help but think about his own childhood as he observed the little boy. The bad times had helped to define him, made him put up walls and be highly aware of how the world could tear his heart out. However, the good times had helped him to have a little bit of hope despite it all.

The good things he remembered were summers spent on Brighton Beach with his grandfather before he got too sick and had to close his club down. He remembered awkward school dances and sneaking out to smoke and drink beer in the gymnasium parking lot. Staying out too late on school nights with his first girlfriend Jackie Marino, and then later on with his second, Julia Giordano, and taking the train around Brooklyn until dawn.

Julia had been the first girl who wanted to marry him. She wanted him to work in her father's diner with her and raise kids together for the rest of their lives. That kind of living scared him to death. He wasn't made to wait on customers and raise kids. Her heart was the first of many he had broken in his younger years while he traveled around the world trying to figure out what it meant to be his own man.

Then there were his younger days spent running around the neighborhood with his brother before Frank got too old and to afraid to keep getting into trouble with him. And they used to get into a lot of trouble but it was all innocent fun, at least that was what he always thought at the time. Growing up in Canarsie, there wasn't much a boy could do that didn't at some point involve breaking the law. Helping to steal buckets of ice cream out of the back of the ice cream truck was the funniest things he remembered doing, and that was when he was eight.

One of the most serious crimes he had committed was when he was eleven. It wasn't long after their father had left, and he and Frank, along with some neighborhood kids, were playing stickball in the street. With his rep for being able to knock the hell out of a ball, he was always put up to bat with the bases loaded. First pitch, he had hit the ball so hard it broke out a car window down the street.

All the kids took off except for him, Frank, and a kid named Sean Callaghan who was the middle son of the only Irish family in the predominantly Italian/Jewish neighborhood at the time. Sean acted as lookout as he climbed through the window to find the ball. Frank kept trying to get him to leave it and go home with him but he was determined to get the ball back.

Then, he had found the keys.

The first car he had ever driven was that car he'd stolen for the day when he was eleven years old. A '69 Camaro. It was also the first time that Frank didn't go with him. While him and Sean went on a joyride around Brooklyn, before returning the car to the neighborhood but two blocks shy of where they had gotten it because it had run out of gas, Frank had walked home.

Frank had been scared to death of what their father would do if he were to find out. He remembered calling Frank a coward in a fit of anger as his brother walked away. It had felt like Frank had abandoned him just like their father did.

That anger never seemed to go away after that. The more the days went on the less he saw of Frank. They grew apart and basically lived two entirely different lives even though they were in the same apartment. Where Frank had become star athlete, honor student, and their parents prodigy, he had become a reckless troublemaker who found trouble just for the sake of finding it.

How Frank turned out to be the brother going to Narcotics Anonymous and him being the cop, he would never know. The choices they made in their lives that formed the paths to their fates were too many for him to count. His decision to join the Army over staying in Canarsie was one of those choices. If he had stayed, if he hadn't had gotten out while he could, he would have probably ended up like Sean Callaghan who was in prison on assault with a deadly weapon and breaking-and-entry.

Then meeting Declan Gage, his mentor who turned him onto his true calling of being a profiler was another. While he was learning from Gage and serving his country, Frank had gotten deeper and deeper into their father's world. The world of gambling had destroyed his brother and so did the streets of Brooklyn.

He remembered coming home on leave once and getting a call to come to the hospital. Frank had been beaten unconscious by a bookie he owed money too. In Frank's jacket pocket, he had found the bag of drugs Frank had bought with the money he owed. It was then that he realized how far his brother had fallen. He knew then that he would probably never get his brother back.

He had stayed in the hospital until Frank had been discharged. Offering to pay his debt for him, Frank had promised that he would never do anything like that again but he knew his brother and the lies he told. Choosing to believe the lie, he paid his brother the money and told him to call him if he ever needed anything. Frank never called, never got help, and took a few more beatings before he finally learned his lesson to pay off his debts first before getting high.

Nathan patted him on his knee, getting his attention, before walking away into the living room. Bobby got up to follow, picking Nathan up as he got to him. On the couch, he saw an small unused Spiderman blanket and picked it up. Sitting down in the recliner, he wrapped the blanket around Nathan as he curled up in his lap and before he knew it, Nathan was asleep. Leaning back, he closed his eyes as thoughts of his brother broke his heart and sent him into a troubled sleep.

"Giacomin"

"Your favorite player can't be a goalie, they don't do anything."

"They block the puck! Defend the goal, that's the most important position to be in. If the other team can't score-"

Frank stopped him and shook his head. "He stands there and watches until someone hit's the puck at him, anyone can do that. Walt Tkaczuk is the best player on the team, the Rangers would be nowhere without him. Besides, dad says so and he would know. He met the guy."

Getting agitated with his brother telling him who to like and not to like, he said, "I like Ed Giacomin."

"You're such a loser," Frank shook his head at him again and started walking.

"I'll like to see you stand in front of a goal and let me hit the puck at you," he shot back at his brother as he started following. "I bet you hit the deck before I finish swinging."

They were a few houses down from their home, having been out all day playing and running around the neighborhood. The only reason they were going home now, before it was even dark, was because their dad had pulled up in his car at the park, telling Frank that he got them tickets to the Rangers game and to get home in a couple of hours so they could go.

That was also why they were bickering back-and-forth over what New York Rangers hockey player was better.

Frank turned to him and asked incredulously, "You calling me a coward?"

He stepped up to his brother who was still a few inches taller than him and said, "I'm calling you a lying coward. Dad never met Tkaczuk." He held his ground, fists tight against his sides, but Frank stepped away and headed for the yard.

"Yeah, he did. He said so."

Getting into the yard, he swung the gate close before bending down and balling up a ball of snow. "Hey, Frankie."

When his brother turned, he threw the snowball as hard as he could. The throw was off as it whizzed by Frank's head and hit the side of the house.

Frank had ducked, letting the snowball go by him as he yelled, "What the hell, Bobby?" He glared at him before balling up some snow and throwing it at him.

Instead of ducking, he let it hit him in the chest before saying, "See, you're a coward. You ducked!"

That did anger Frank as he ran at him, tackling him and sending him to the ground where they struggled against each other as fists were thrown. Frank got him in the side but he got Frank in the face, knocking him off him. Getting on top of Frank, he held him down as Frank started yelling for help as he hit him again, catching his brother in the nose.

"Bobby! Get off your brother!"

At hearing their father's deep angry bellow, he froze just as he felt his dad grab him and yank him off Frank before smacking him across the head and face until he stumbled back into the snow.

Breathing hard, he watched as their dad helped Frank off the ground before glaring at the both of them. At seeing the blood that gushed from Frank's nose, his dad told him to get into the house and let mom check him out. Once Frank was up the steps to the second floor of the house, he turned his focus back to his dad.

His dad worked his jaw back-and-forth with his hands on his hips; it was his tell that he was furious with him and ready to kick his ass. He sat there in the snow and waited. As his father stepped toward him, he kicked something out of the snow. Tumbling across the ground and coming to a stop at his legs was a frozen leather baseball glove.

Bending down, his dad picked it up and examined it. When he looked back at him, the anger was back but this time he knew he was in big trouble. That glove had been a birthday present from his dad; one of few he had ever gotten from the man. "This yours? The one I gave you?"

He nodded but couldn't say anything.

"You left it out here, all winter? It's ruined now. You never appreciate anything I get for you. You care about nothing. That's it," his dad said as he shook his head. "For now on, you get nothing from me seeing how you can't take care of anything." As his dad threw the glove in the trash bin, he called back, "Worthless piece of shit," and then stalked back up the steps and into the house, leaving him panting for air in the cold snow.

His father could have been talking about the glove, but he knew the truth. The worthless piece of shit was him. He stayed sitting in the snow freezing until he saw Frank and his dad coming down the steps, ready to go to the hockey game. Unlike his "trips" with their dad to games, he knew that when he took Frank they actually went to Madison Square Garden.

He knew that Frank had never met Maggie and never would. It was the reason he had gotten so upset with Frank; it was the reason why he had hit his brother and Frank didn't even know it. He would never let his brother know that he was jealous of him and his relationship with their father. He would always blame it on something else, like Frank being a coward or for Frank thinking that liking a goalie was a stupid thing to think.

Picking himself up out of the snow, he slowly made his way up the steps and into the warmth of the house. The two story house had been turned into two separate homes. They lived on the second floor while an older couple lived below them. Closing the door behind him, he rubbed at his face and felt the wetness on his cheeks. Wiping the wetness away, and telling himself that it was from the snow and not tears, he walked by the smoky kitchen where his mother was sitting at the table and went to his room.

He was drifting in a light sleep when he felt movement against his chest. His arms wrapped tighter around the movement as he woke. Blinking his eyes open, he saw the glow from the television illuminating the dark living room. On the couch he saw both the twins awake as they laid on the fold-out bed watching the TV. Shifting to get comfortable, he felt a weight against him and when he looked down, Nathan was looking up at him.

When Nathan saw that he was awake, he closed his eyes and snuggled back into his chest. Looking over to the TV, Bobby saw that the girls were watching a cartoon that he didn't recognize. Rubbing at his head, he sat up in the recliner, bringing Nathan up with him cradled in his arms. As he went to stand, he felt the protest in his back, his knees, and his entire chest before sitting back down.

He'd give himself a minute to fully wake to try that again. The girls looked over at him when he had tried to get up.

One of them, Amber he believed, whispered into the room, "Ya need help?"

Smiling, he shook his head. "How long have you two been awake?"

"Not long. We've only seen one Sponge Bob," she said as she held up one finger.

He looked at the little girl and then the TV, concluding that this Sponge Bob she was talking about was the name of the cartoon. Groaning, he shifted again and finally got to his feet. If he had to endure cartoons and three kids alone, he was going to need some coffee and aspirin. Putting Nathan down between the twins, he chuckled as Nathan crawled up on Amy's back and wrapped his arms around her.

The girls started giggling and playing with him on the bed as he went into the kitchen. Checking the clock, he saw it was six-thirty in the morning. Fixing the coffee machine, he waited until he saw it start to brew before heading to the bathroom. Once done cleaning himself up and taking two aspirins, he went back into the kitchen.

As he passed the couch, he heard one of the girls ask, "Uncle Bobby, can we get breakfast?"

"Sure. What'd you want?"

Thinking they would ask for cereal, he was surprised when she answered, "Pancakes."

While he filled a cup with coffee, he tried to remember if he even had pancake mix before searching around the cabinets when he thought that Alex could've had some. Sure enough, he found a box of pancake mix along with a bag of chocolate chips.

When the girls saw him with the chocolate chip bag, they beamed at him as they hurried to help him make the mix. Amber grabbed a mixing bowl from the under the cart as Amy climbed up on chair at the table and went to open the box.

"Whoa, hold on," he said as he grabbed the box and looked at it. Reading the instructions, he saw that he needed more than just water to make this stuff. Great, Alex had to make this more difficult.

Getting out the utensils and then the stuff from the refrigerator, he gave each twin a task since they weren't going to allow him to do this on his own. Nathan had even joined in but thankfully he was too busy driving his cars around the floor to care about playing with flour mix.

As he let the pan heat on the stove, he let Amy measure out the chocolate chips into a measuring cup, which meant for her to fill it without spilling them every where. Amber helped by using the whisk to stir everything together in the bowl. After he sprayed the pan with oil he pulled out his ice cream scooper and received some Eames' type looks along with a few giggles.

The twins decided that they had to see what he was doing so they pushed some chairs over to the stove and climbed up to watch. Dishing out three scoops of the batter onto the pan, he heard one of the twins say, "That looks like Mickey Mouse."

"Can you make me one?"

"I'll make all of you one," he told them as they smiled and climbed off the chairs to run back into the living room to watch more of the cartoon.

Nathan stayed with him in the kitchen until he was done cooking. Then a little later, they made him regret ever owning a bottle of syrup.

Hearing music the moment she woke confused and startled her. Sitting up in bed, Alex noticed two things: one it was eight in the morning and two Bobby wasn't in bed. Groaning, she muttered, "Oh, no", and got up. She had to find her pajamas and quickly dress because when she had gotten in bed last night, Bobby hadn't been as fast asleep as she hoped. Then for five minutes he had made her forgot all about being upset with him. Lets face it, he was drunk and half asleep and she was buzzed and ready for sleep and neither one of them were going to last long. It may have been short but it had been good.

Opening the door she heard the opening chords to 'Baba O'Riley' by The Who and groaned some more. That was Bobby's hangover song. Rolling her eyes and not knowing what to expect when she went into the living room, she braced herself. What she saw when she stopped in the foyer shocked her before she leaned against the wall and watched with a small on her face.

Bobby was in the middle of the floor on his knees with his electric guitar in hand, unplugged thank God, surrounded by the twins who had hairbrushes in their hands acting as microphones, and Nathan had a wooden spoon which he was banging on a cushion like it was a drum. As Amber played air guitar and Amy the piano on the coffee table, Bobby started singing along with the song.

"Out here in the fields, I fight for my meals, I get my back into my living…I don't need to fight, to prove I'm right, I don't need to be forgiven, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah, yeah…"

The girls started jumping around with the music and Bobby started laughing as Nathan started in dancing with them. Bobby was strumming away like Pete Townshend, making windmills on the guitar, and that made her laugh.

"Don't cry, don't raise your eye, it's only teenage wasteland!"

"Teenage wasteland," the twins started yelling even though it wasn't that part of the song yet and they kept singing it. Loud.

Bobby didn't seem to mind as he kept singing the lyrics, but instead of saying 'Sally take my hand', he sung, "Alex, take my hand. We'll travel south cross land, put out the fires and don't look past my shoulder." He looked over at her, catching her eye as he smiled, and continued singing, "The exodus is here, the happy ones are near, let's get together before we get much older."

"Teenage wasteland!" the twins started dancing around and yelling it at the top of their lungs.

"It's only teenage wasteland," Bobby sung and then said, "Ready, one, two, three…"

Then they all screamed out, "They're all wasted!"

"What's going on out here?" Terry exclaimed as he walked beside her and into the living room. "No one told me there was a concert in here this morning. Are you drumming little man?"

The twins started laughing but kept dancing to the music as Nathan dropped his 'drumstick' and went to his dad laughing.

Going up to Bobby, Alex leaned down and kissed him, saying, "It's too early for windmills."

Bobby laughed as he pulled the guitar off and stood. "It's never too early when you have three kids to entertain," he said before taking hold of her arm as she went to walk away. Bending down, he pulled her into a deep kiss.

When the kiss ended, she pushed him away before going into the kitchen, hearing him yell after her.

"Tease!"

She was still laughing as she went over to the cabinet to take out two cups.

"That man has a screw loose," Liz said as she poured a cup of coffee. "But at least he made coffee."

"I think he's a lot of fun, even if it is eight in the morning," Terry said before telling his wife as he sat Nathan down on the floor, "And he changed Nathan's diaper."

Liz asked in surprise, "He did?" Then she looked to her, saying, "Okay, you can keep him."

Alex rolled her eyes as she pulled two cups down for both her and Bobby. "He's not a dog."

"Who's not a dog?" Bobby asked as he came into the kitchen.

"You," Alex said as she handed him a cup of coffee.

Bobby took a sip as he leaned against the counter and actually seemed to think about that. "Well," he said as he tilted his head down to speak into her ear. "I do like to sniff things." His voice dropped as his hand rubbed at the small of her back. "And you do that thing that makes me growl...and if you rub my tummy, I'm all yours."

"I don't think it's your tummy you want rubbed," she said right back with a laugh.

Smirking, he gave her a kiss before announcing, "I'm taking the first shower."

"Oh," Alex said as she started to follow him out of the kitchen. "I need to get some things out of the bathroom first."

Bobby turned the water for the shower on the moment he got into the bathroom. Then, once she was in, he closed the door, took her by the waist, and pressed her up against the door as he devoured her mouth in a kiss. After she regained the ability to think, she pushed his body away, saying, "Bobby, wait."

"I don't wanna wait," he said before sucking at her neck, drawing a deep moan from her.

Alex started laughing at his pouting and she couldn't put up a fight when he yanked her tank-top off. His lips, teeth, and tongue ignited a fire all the way down her body. Then when she saw him get to his knees, her breath hitched in anticipation as her body started to ache with want. He kissed at her stomach before licking at her bellybutton, a spot that always made her tremble.

Her hand found the doorknob and as she turned the lock on it, her eyes clenched close as she felt him kiss lower. When his tongue slipped inside her, her breathing skidded to a near stop as she gasped, "Oh, Bobby yes."

Clutching his hair in her hands, it was all she could do to not scream out.

The shower had been wonderful, Alex had been wonderful, the morning so far: wonderful. It had all been going so great and he was starting to feel a little happier and more like he could deal with everything that had happened in the last few days. Then he heard a cell phone ring.

He tossed the wet towel he'd been using to dry his hair and neck on the bed as he went to the dresser to grab his phone. The ringing cell wasn't his, or at least wasn't the one he bought. It was the cell Garrison had given him. At realizing who was calling him at nine o'clock on Sunday, he felt his heart jump in his chest as he flipped it open. "Goren," he answered.

"I'm not waking you up, am I?" Garrison asked with an impatience in his voice. The IA officer sounded like he was moving fast wherever he was.

""No. What's going on?"

"We need to talk. How 'bout lunch, say…one?"

Like he could say no. Sighing, he asked, "Where?"

"Same place as last time."

"Okay, is, uh…Will Logan be there?" Bobby asked as he looked down the hallway as he saw Alex chasing Nathan towards the bedroom.

"He can be."

"I'll call him and let him know," he told Garrison before hanging up just as Nathan crashed into his legs and fell backwards on his butt. Chuckling, he bent down and picked the little boy up as Alex stopped in front of him.

"Oh, no, I know that look. You're injured, why are you on call?"

Shaking his head, he told her, "I'm not. That was my IA contact. We have a meeting this afternoon. It's probably just a debriefing. Or a pre-debriefing to the actual debriefing."

Alex sighed as she observed him. He felt exhausted because he was and he was certain she was thinking the same thing. That he shouldn't be going anywhere today, not after yesterday, or the day before. That he needed time to unwind and relax. Instead of saying any of that, she only nodded. "Okay. Is Logan going to be there?"

"Yeah, but I've got to call him first," he answered as he carried Nathan with him all the way into the kitchen.

Terry was sitting at the table eating breakfast along with Liz. And when he saw them, he smiled, "So that's where he ran off to. He had to find his 'bop'."

Alex chuckled as she retook her seat at the table where she had been eating. They had decided on something a little more substantial than pancakes. Picking up a piece of bacon, Bobby chewed on it as he refilled his cup with more coffee, which proved difficult since Nathan wasn't ready to let him go just yet.

Sitting down next to Alex, Nathan finally released his neck as he reached out to Alex who took him from his lap. Turning to Terry, he said, "Sorry. I don't get this kid's connection to me."

"You're serious?" Alex asked as she gave Nathan a piece of scrambled egg. "Bobby, you were with me when I was carrying him. He heard your voice every single day, felt your presence…You read to him for God's sake."

"Yeah, but…" he trailed off as he had nothing to say to that. "You're trying to tell me that we have a parental connection to him?" he asked confused, because he really was. That didn't really make sense to him because he wasn't the child's father.

Alex shrugged a little, saying, "Could be. I have a special bond with him because I carried him for nine months."

"You have the same special bond too, Bobby," Terry filled in as he took a drink of his coffee. "Which brings us back around to what I was going to ask Alex last night before she decked you." He looked to his wife who nodded for him to go on. Liz seemed apprehensive and Bobby didn't know why until he heard Terry say, "We were wondering if you two would consider being legal guardians to Nathan if something were to happen to us."

"Terry," Alex said at the same moment he asked, "What?"

Looking at Alex, she looked to him and he could tell that she was excited. He was confused, and a little more than hesitant. "I mean…You want me? I understand Alex, but-"

"I know it's a lot to ask seeing how you two aren't even married or anything, but we were talking about it and Alex is the rightful caretaker to Nate if something were to happen. And, with that special bond you have," Terry said to him, "and that you and Alex are together."

"What if we were to break-up?" he asked before he caught himself. "Not that I'm planning on that happening anytime soon, but it's a good question."

"And one we talked about," Terry said as he sighed in annoyance at his questioning. "We didn't just decide this on a whim. Even if you two were to break-up, Alex still has the right to be his guardian."

"Bobby," Liz finally spoke. "We all know that even if Alex kicks your ass to the curb, you're not going anywhere. You'll both still be friends and if she needs your help, you'll be there."

Bobby sat back in the chair as he thought about what Alex's sister had said. It shocked him that Liz had such faith in him to not bail if he and Alex were to break-up. Because, unbeknown to Liz or Terry, they had broken up for two months. During those two months they hadn't necessary acted as friends, but they had remained connected to one another in the sense that if she had called, or he had called, and they needed each other they would have been there.

Rubbing his head, he let out a breath as he looked to Alex for her guidance. This was a huge thing for them. God forbid anything ever happening to Terry or Liz but if it did, that meant they had the responsibility of raising their child. It meant commitment, long-term, on both sides of their relationship.

Alex was willing. Of course she would be, Nathan wasn't only her nephew but the boy she gave birth to. Either way, Nathan was hers. It was left up to him and he had a decision to make. A very important decision that could change everything.

He felt a tapping on his arm and when he looked over, he saw Nathan tapping his forearm with his hand. Giggling, the boy sat back in his aunt's lap while saying, "Bop, bop." Then he turned to Alex and pushed her cheeks with his hands before giving her a kiss. It was like Nathan understood what they were talking about.

Hell, and it wasn't like he could let the kid down or anything. Looking from Alex to Liz, and then back to Terry, he said, "Yeah, okay."

"You're sure?" Terry asked. "I don't want you to rush this decision. You can take your time-"

"No, it's…" Bobby tried to get something out of his still confused and troubled mind. "I don't know what to say." Which was the truth. "I'm, honored that you asked." And terrified, but he wasn't about to say that. "Just, uh…don't plan on doing anything stupid anytime soon."

At that, Terry laughed. "Don't worry, we're not."

Catching Alex's eyes, he saw her surprise but most of all the love she held for him. It made him smile as he went back to drinking his coffee.

Garrison was running late. Looking at his watch for the fifth time since getting at the restaurant, Bobby grew more worried and slightly impatient. However, Garrison wasn't the only one late. Logan had yet to arrive as well.

A young woman of Mediterranean decent refilled his glass of water and asked him again if he would like to order.

Not being in the mood to eat, and not wanting to keep drinking free water, he answered, "Uh, yeah, some coffee, thanks," before returning his attention to the door.

Shifting in his seat, he picked up the glass and sipped on the water while he debated whether to stay or not. They were both half an hour overdue for the meeting and neither one had answered their phones when he had tried calling.

It wasn't long before the woman returned with his coffee and creamer. She gave him a smile and asked, "Still not ready to order?"

Shaking his head, he said, "I'm waiting."

"Well, if he's not going to order anything I will."

Looking around the woman, he saw Logan coming up to the table. As he slipped into the booth across from him, Bobby said, "What took you so long?"

Mike gave him a look before turning to the woman. "I'll have coke to start, and whatever appetizer you got."

"We have many choices."

"Surprise me. I'm so hungry I could eat a pony."

Not missing a beat, the woman told Mike, "We're all out of pony."

Chuckling, Mike watched the woman walk away. Turning to him, he said, "Think she'll give me a chance in hell?"

"In hell, sure," he said back, getting a smirk from Mike. Leaning on the table, he asked again, "What took you so long?"

"Garrison didn't call you?"

Bobby pulled out his phone as he said, "I didn't receive…" Checking his phone again, he saw he had a voicemail. A voicemail that wasn't there a few minutes ago. Moving his phone up from his lap, he saw the connection bars on the cell disappear. Moving it back down to his lap, the connection was reestablished. "I'm getting bad connection," he mumbled in irritation. "I've been waiting for half an hour," he told him as he re-pocketed the cell phone.

"I thought he got a hold of you," Mike apologized as he picked up the menu and looked it over.

"Why didn't you answer my calls?"

Mike glanced at him before looking back at the menu. "I was on the phone with Garrison and we were kind-of busy having a discussion."

His patience was slipping as he stared at Mike, waiting for more information.

Once Mike had settled on what he wanted to eat, he sat the menu down then shifted so he leaned against the side of the booth. Smiling over at him, he said, "You can't stand it can you? Me knowing something you don't."

Bobby sighed and rubbed his head. He wasn't in the mood for Logan today, especially the Mike Logan who was good at irritating him just for the sake of doing it. He was acting like his brother. "Mike…"

"Can we wait until I at least get my drink?"

And so he waited until Mike's drink was placed in front of him, and until after he ordered a meal, before asking, "Well, what'd Garrison have to say?"

Mike took a sip of the coke before telling him, "Okay, here's what happened. On my way here, after I talked to you, I got a call from Garrison because I guess your phone's been having problems all day. He told me he couldn't make it because he got called in by the Chief and the Commissioner about this whole thing. That meeting was supposed to take place tomorrow, but something came up. Any who…" he sat up in the booth and leaned across the table. Dropping his voice, he told him, "He heard about what Jackson wants to do about Travis."

That didn't make sense to him because he had no idea what Jackson wanted to do about Travis. Silently telling Logan as much, Bobby waited for the proverbial shoe to drop.

"He wants to kill him."

Not thinking, he heard himself say, "He'll have to get in line."

Mike didn't seem surprised to hear him say that as he gave a slight nod. "Word is it's going down tonight. That's why he wanted to talk to you. He wants to know if it's possible for you to go with them."

"On a hit?" he asked incredulously. Bobby shook his head as he rubbed at his jaw as it tensed from the amount of anger he felt for Detective Travis. "That's not going to happen. I don't see them trusting me enough-"

"This isn't about trust. It's about what you deserve," Mike emphasized.

"What I deserve?"

"You deserve to be there; you deserve a sense of closure. You deserve your revenge."

That got him thinking as he sipped on the coffee and stared at the table. Logan could be right, it wasn't about trust at this point. He bet he could get Jackson to let him tag along if he talked him into it with being something that was owed to him. Travis had been the reason he had been jumped by a group of cops. Travis had given Jules the keys to the truck that had been used against Alex and Copeland. If anyone deserved to kill Travis, it was him.

Closing his eyes, he felt the fear rise up in him because he did feel that desire for revenge. However, he couldn't let himself think that way. Shaking his head, he stared up at Mike as he told him, "You know, Mike, I would've thought that a while ago, before I got sent here to Staten Island. But, I've been down this road of temptation before. I've already seen the kind of darkness that can consume me by thoughts of revenge…and it was probably the darkest moment of my life and I vowed to never go back to that place ever again."

Mike sighed and sat back in the booth. Stirring the straw around in the glass, he said, "This isn't about what kind of man you are, or what makes you that man, Bobby. This is about the job. You can debate about the moral ramifications after-"

"If it has to do with what I deserve, or think I deserve, then it's not just about the job. That's making it personal."

"Then don't make it personal," Mike shot back at him. "We're not talking about taking his life, we're talking about saving it. Or do you not care?"

Working his jaw, he knew Mike was just trying to get under his skin to force him into action. And damn it if it wasn't working. Logan really had a way with words when he wanted to make an impact. "What'd you want, Logan? Huh? For me to run out and prove to you, to me, and to everyone else that I can take a hit and not let it cloud my judgment? To prove to them exactly what it means to be a good, honest cop?"

"No, I want you to go out there and show them how a cop working for the rat squad gets the job done," he sternly told him. Then, Mike softly asked, "You're afraid, aren't you? You think if you're put in that situation that you might not hold up your end of the deal. That you'll let them shoot him."

He stared at him for a long moment, trying to get his thoughts and emotions under control as he silently shook. He was unnerved by the fact that Mike was right. He was afraid because he wasn't sure if he would stop them from pulling the trigger.

Mike leaned back across the table and told him, "Don't think for a moment that I don't understand. You hate him and reasonability so. He hurt you, the woman you love, her partner…He's a corrupt cop and you despise the man. Good for you. You have ethics, dignity and honor, and all that shit that makes you worth a damn when you hold up that badge of yours, but while you're mulling over your vow to yourself just remember what you've told me."

"What I've told you?"

"Yeah, genius. You told me once that the reason you can do this, and not just the cop work but the profiling as well, is because you know and accept your vices as well as your virtues. That in order to recognize the evil in other men that you have to recognize the evil within yourself. Every man is tempted at some point in his life, but it's how he deals with that temptation that makes him the man that he is. You said all that, Bobby. So I know you know that the only way to defeat your temptations is by facing them. You have to face Travis and the hate you have for him and then instead of killing him, save him."

Bobby rubbed at his head as he thought all that over. He had said that even though at the moment he couldn't remember when or why. Probably during a long stakeout night when they were just talking about nothing important…when conversation about the football season dried up.

"Come on, Bobby. There's enough blood in the water…It needs to end now. You want to get all of them on murder, don't you? Catching them in the middle of a hit is the best way. I know it, you know it."

Holding his hand up, he stopped Logan's plea. "Just stop, Logan. Okay, that's enough…Just," he sighed and sat back in the booth. His head hurt, but it felt like his soul was being dug out of his chest. "If Jackson says okay…I'll do it, but as long as you're my back up."

Mike nodded with a smile. "I'm your partner, aren't I? Where you go, I go."

TBC…