a/n- Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to update, my beta had this chapter ready a couple days ago but I couldnt decide whether or not to actually post it, I decided to go ahead and post it and use it as a lead in to my other story, which hopefully you guys will read, thanks for reviewing and a big thanks goes out to Mediate89 for betaing this story and doing a great job, did you guys by some chance see that Alex Meraz video? All I can say is wow... also.. before I forget, this chapter has a bit of language in it, so beware! Rememeber to review!!

Chapter 35- I'm a freak

I had just laid down from finishing up the clean up and closed my eyes when I heard Sam's familiar walk coming up the stairs. I sat back up sleepily. He was back way too early. He usually stayed the entire night when someone phased to keep an eye on them and help them phase back.

Sam came into the room, looking tired and worried. "You shouldn't have waited up," he said when he noticed me staring back at him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and kicked his Nikes off.

"I didn't. I stayed up and cleaned so I wouldn't have to do it in the morning," I replied with a smile. I reached out and touch his arm lightly. The heat from him warmed it instantly.

He reached up subconsciously and placed his hand over mine and spoke in a sad voice. "He wouldn't let me near him. He's terrified of me. Jacob thinks I did this to him." I narrowed my eyes, I didn't like hearing that. Sam wouldn't knowingly let this happen to anyone.

"What happened?" I asked, rubbing my thumb against his soft skin.

"I made it to the Blacks' with everyone else and Jacob was in a corner cowering. When he realized who I was from my voice he flipped out growling and started swiping toward us. He thinks I chose him or something." I leaned up as Sam spoke and moved so that I was sitting behind him with my legs on either side of him and wrapped my free arm around him and rested my head on his back.

"Did you explain it to him?" I asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, but he doesn't trust me just yet. I left Embry with him; Jared and Paul are outside in case he needs them." He stayed still as he spoke. "There's something else, though." He paused. "I don't know how this is going to work. Jacob's the rightful Alpha to the pack, not me. I don't know what to do about this." It hit me then. Sam could walk away from all the responsibility now if he wanted to.

I blew lightly onto his ear lobe as he sighed.

"I love you," he said in a sad voice. I kissed his back softly.

"I love you more, though."

Sam's body seemed to tense before he spoke. "If Jacob wants to be Alpha, that means that we have to fight for it. I can't turn it off all of a sudden. And there can't be two alphas to one pack." The pack always got into fights; I didn't see what was so bad about another one. Jacob was younger than and probably nowhere as big as Sam was.

"Then fight him for it if you want it," I told him simply.

Sam laughed bitterly. "It's not just a regular wolf fight, Em." He reached up and moved my arms from around him and turned around, pushing me back so he could face me. "We fight til one of us dies. Until one of us kills the other."

I drew back from him, tears welling up in my eyes. "No, no and no," I said shaking my head at him. I couldn't let him do that. Not for the prize of being the Alpha. "We can move, or you can just not phase anymore," I whispered. I couldn't handle it if anything happened to Sam. If he died, I died with him. I was no good without my other half.

He took my hands in his and held them as he looked into my eyes. "I can't do either of those and you know it. I can't just run away. Jacob might not even want to be head of the pack anyway."

I hoped with all my heart he didn't. If he had to kill Sam for it, he might as well take me with him. "I don't want you to die," I whispered as I sniffled, hiccupping.

Sam smiled at me then. "I don't think I could lose so easily to him. I have more experience than he does." He kissed my right cheek with his warm lips. "I just want you to be prepared for the worst, honey." I nodded; my tears were drying up now that I was calming down. His large thumb was wiping the fallen tears from my face, making me feel better with his touch.

"I have more problems than that now anyway." His eyes changed to being worried in a flash. "Paul was hiding something again." I looked at Sam, waiting to hear the bad news whatever it was. Sam squeezed my hand. "That blonde girl he's been seeing told him that she thinks she's pregnant today."

I didn't say anything for a while. I just stared in disbelief. How could Paul keep that a secret of all things? He should have been jumping for joy. Happy as a clam even if he was way too young to be a dad.

"Is that a bad thing?" I finally asked.

Sam shrugged, the tiredness coming back to his feature. "Paul told her it's not his baby if she is. That she must be lying. He told her that he didn't want her or "it" if it was his child. He said she was nothing to him, that it is what it is and it's not his fault she was stupid enough to fall in love with him over a good time."

The sting of Paul's hurtful words made me gasp. How could someone be so hateful to the woman that was so obviously carrying his child? More importantly, how could he refer to a small, fragile baby as "it" the way he had?

"Maybe you should talk to him again without me this time; he can't be like that Sam. It's not right"

I felt terrible for the girl. She had enough to deal with by being pregnant so young, much less by Paul who wanted nothing to do with her. I felt bad for the unborn baby. It pained me to no end to know that someone didn't want what I had so desperately tried to have of my own.

Sam pulled me toward him and hugged me against his bare chest, kissing the top of my head. "I might try to. I don't know how well that's going to turn out though. Paul's being pig-headed as usual."

I inhaled deeply, baking in his scent and loving his body heat. "Make him be nice to her."

Sam laughed, sending vibrations through me. "I can't do that, it's not right." I pulled away from him.

"He's not right either, Sam. He has something so precious and is treating this situation like a curse." I pushed the blankets back again and crawled under them. "Let's go to bed, Sam. It's been a long day."

He nodded and moved around so that he was lying beside me on top of the blankets though. "Come here," he mumbled. I scooted over closer and let him pull me on top of his chest and wrap his arm around my back as we lay there, drifting off, our hearts totally in sync.

I yawned sleepily as I leaned over the stove, flipping the dozen of sunny side up eggs I had frying. I still had five more minutes before I had to grab the bacon from the oven. It was raining outside already, making me think that the day would be dreary and bad. Sam was still upstairs asleep where I left him.

I'd woke up in a sweat from laying in his arms and decided to go ahead and get breakfast ready for the pack when they made it in. I'd made extra just in case the new one, Jacob decided to show up with them.

I was setting the pan down onto the counter when the backdoor opened with a quiet creak and they came in one by one.

"Morning, Emily." they seemed to mumble at the same time. I had my head down as I fixed their plates for them.

"I was wondering if Sam would have to eat this by himself," I joked. I lifted my head up and realized I was being stared at. My eyes met a pair of chocolate brown ones. "Oh," I mumbled.

This boy was almost as tall as Sam was. He was just about as broad-shouldered too. Not the same baby-faced Jacob I remembered from almost a year ago.

"I'm happy to see you came," I greeted him as nicely as I could. His eyes cut down quickly, the others had obviously told them not to stare at me. "Jacob, right?" I prodded him, the same way I'd had to do with the others.

Jared, Paul, and Embry were watching us in silence as they chewed and crunched their food.

Jacob nodded. "Yeah," he finally spoke. The sound of his voice reminded me greatly of his father.

"I'm Emily," I introduced myself. "Sam's girlfriend. Well, Fiancé now, I guess." I passed him a plate. "Sit down." He pulled out a chair, looking around, he seemed like he was out of place somehow.

Jared crunched loudly on his bacon, smacking. "So when's Sam getting up?"

I looked down at them. "I'm not sure. I let him sleep. He, um... he's not really…" I let my voice trail off and turned away from them, busying myself by wiping down the counters. "So I guess there are six of us now."

Embry grinned happily. "I thought you would never phase, dude. You were always so calm. I wanted to hang out so bad."

Jacob nodded. "I understand now. It's okay. I just can't wait to tell Bells about this. I'm a freak and didn't even know it."

The talking and movement stopped after he spoke. I knew the pack was thinking the same I was. Sam wasn't going to like that at all. I turned around slowly and wiped my hands off on a dish towel. "I'm gonna go tell Sam you guys are here." I headed toward the stairs. I could hear what sounded like footsteps as I walked toward our room.

"Sam? Are you up yet, baby?" I called out softly, knowing he would hear me. The bathroom door opened, Sam was standing there in a pair of cut offs smiling at me.

"I'm up, I smelled breakfast."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you didn't notice my body wasn't lying by yours anymore, you just woke up and smelled the bacon… literally."

Sam smirked at me. "And the pack of wolves downstairs with you." I heard a chair scrape the floor downstairs, I tilted my head listening before I moved in to Sam.

"So I was thinking… if you're going to be out with them today... I might go look at some wedding stuff."

He looked at me steadily for a moment. "If you want to you can, we haven't talked much about it, though."

I smiled at him shyly. "I was hoping we could sooner rather than later. By the way, I don't think you need to worry about Jake being Alpha."

Sam frowned, whether at the wedding or because of Jacob, I didn't know. "Maybe you should go out then. That way you're not here just in case."

I nodded and reached over and ran my index finger down his stomach. "You can't even give me a good morning hug or kiss?" I asked coyly.

He appraised me a moment, wondering what my intentions were before he leaned down and embraced me tightly, pressing his mouth against mine. The warmth of him ran through my body, to the tips of my toes.

"You should have got up earlier," I whispered into his ear before biting the lobe lightly as I pulled away from him.

Sam looked at me, up and down in a way that made me feel like he was remembering every inch of me he had ever seen.

"Be back at four," he said lowly. I smirked at him and I headed back downstairs.

"Maybe," I teased.

I led him downstairs to where the pack was at. They grew silent again as soon as Sam entered the room. He stood there in the doorway, looking at each of them. "I'm glad to see you decided to give us a chance, Jacob," he said in a calm tone.

Jacob nodded, not meeting Sam's eyes. "I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. But I guess this is better than being alone."

Sam pulled out a chair and sat down into it heavily as I slid his plate in front of him and hurried to get him his usual cup of coffee.

"We'll talk more later," he told Jacob, glancing at me. Jacob nodded again, not saying anything. I had a feeling he was going to be even harder to adjust to this than Embry was.

"One thing you need to understand right now though is that when you're in my house, you will keep your temper in control. And you will not be disrespectful to Emily." Sam spoke to Jacob almost like he was giving an order.

"I understand," Jacob replied.

I reached for my black purse from the peg it was hanging on. "I'm going to go, unless you need something." I could tell this breakfast would get by easier if I wasn't in the house. Sam had Jacob and Paul to talk to all in one day. Jacob looked up at me, studying me in a different way than before, like he was curious.

Sam shook his head. "No. We'll clean up after ourselves today." His eyes met mine, they got that glazed over look in them.

"I'll see you when you get back." I unconsciously walked to him and leaned down and kissed him fully on the mouth."Love you," I whispered as I pulled away, earning groans from the boys. Sam gave them a look that told them to shut up.

"Be careful," he called out at me as I went out the front door.

I got in the truck and wondered where exactly was I going. There weren't any wedding type stores except for maybe a couple of florists. I drove down the dirt road, singing songs with the radio. Sam had loved it once he had got the chance to actually sit in the truck and listen to it.

I turned right and went to the small corner store without thinking much about it. They mostly sold Native American clothing but had a huge array of other items in there. It also had a certain blonde working in there that I'd seen with Paul. I couldn't help but want to get a peek of her.

I parked careful, not wanting to put a scratch down the sides of the bright red paint. I hopped out after glancing in the mirror and braced myself as I went inside. I hadn't had to talk to make friends since I moved here. Cassadee just kind of fell into a friendship of sorts with me, as did Sam's other family.

I pushed the door open making the bells jingle. I glanced to my left toward the counter quickly. I spotted her. I turned my head back down and walked through the store, breathing in the scent of new leather and tobacco. I guess I could look for some wedding stuff in here. We'd need certain vases for the water ritual and I'd need the appropriate beads to sew onto my dress if I decided to do a traditional Quileute wedding. I knew that would be Sam's choice anyway, over a church wedding. We'd have to go off the reservation for that.

I fingered some soft deer skin, admiring the color of it. I moved to turn around and ran into someone.

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, turning my face upward. I realized who it was. The blonde. She looked down at the same time I looked up.

"N, sorry... I should have said something to let you know I was behind you," she mumbled. Her voice was sad even as she spoke. I bit my bottom lip a moment.

"I was just looking at the skins. I need to get started on a dress soon."

She lifted her head up then, peering at me. "Oh, really? For a wedding?" she asked curiously. I knew she was wondering who would want to marry me now that she'd got a good look. I smiled at her.

"Yeah, I'm just not really sure on which type, to be honest. Or what sort of bead-work to do on it."

She had on khakis and a bright blue polo shirt with a clerk vest. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a pony tail and she didn't have on any make-up, making the circles under her eyes showed badly.

"I can't help you much on that either," she said with a small smile. "I'm Sarah, by the way." She held out her hand, showing perfectly manicured nails.

"Emily," I said smiling back. I knew one thing, I couldn't let on that I knew Paul or the friendliness might disappear.

Sarah looked at me another moment before averting her eyes from me. "I'm sorry, I know I keep staring. I just cant help but wonder what happened to you." I held my arm for her to see too, turning it over.

"I got mauled by a bear awhile back," I told her, smiling still to show her that it didn't bother me. Sarah grimaced as she looked over my face at the scar tissue left behind.

"I haven't ever seen you at any of the bonfires before," I told her.

She shrugged. "I don't really go anywhere. I hardly go to the bonfires at all. My parents don't like me to hang out a lot here in La Push. I live just outside of the reservation, actually."

I nodded, showing her that I was listening. So her parents were strict, then and probably didn't like the idea of their daughter dating an Indian boy.

"I don't usually come out a lot, either. Just to the beach and to a few places once a week or so with Sa-- I mean, my fiancé." I didn't want her to know that I was with Sam or it might tip her off that I wasn't just an innocent shopper.

"If you want to stop back by later this week, I'll ask the owner about the skins and the beads for you," Sarah offered.

I nodded quickly. "That would be great, actually." I waved goodbye to her as I left the store, feeling pleased with myself. I headed toward the Thrifty Save to do some grocery shopping. My little day trip was keeping my mind off of the possible fight going on back at the house.

I grabbed a cart and tossed my purse into it and headed through the store. I'd grown accustomed to the strange looks from buying in bulk. It was either buy a lot at a time or make three trips a week. I paused and grabbed three loaves of bread and tossed them in. I went further on down and put 6 gallons of milk in next. I grabbed 12 cartons of eggs, knowing that I was being watched. I got a few more items before pushing my first cartload to the front of the store and telling the cashier I'd be back as I got another cart. It usually took three carts. I didn't have to buy much meat. Sam usually took care of that. The pack seemed to enjoy the hunt but not so much the actual butchering part. I grabbed a few packs of salmon and then a huge pack of paper towels. I wished we had a Costco closer than Seattle as I pushed my third cart to the front.

The cashiers groaned as they started checking me out. They hated and liked it at the same time when I came in to shop. They liked it because it was a guaranteed $300 each time. I came once a week to keep from running low on anything. They hated it because it was so much stuff to ring up and bag.

I paid and pushed one of the carts out to the truck and started tossing the bags into the back, thanking the boy that had came out to help me. I headed back home, hoping I wouldn't pull up to something worse than I could even start to fathom. I slowed down deliberately as I passed by the store I'd been in earlier. Sarah was walking out, her head down, looking sad as she walked the length of the sidewalk. I frowned as I headed down the mail street and turned off onto our dirt road toward the little house.

I pulled up, bracing myself. I was surprised to see the boys outside in the yard, no shirts on of course, cleaning up- trimming bushes and pulling weeds. I didn't see Paul or Sam though. I got out and shut the door to the truck.

"I've got a ton of bags in the back," I called out. Jacob, Embry, and Jared came over quickly. Jacob looked more at ease and less nervous than he had earlier. I grabbed a few light bags and glanced over my shoulder at them. "Where's Sam?"

Jacob nodded toward the house. "Inside, talking with Paul. We keep hearing a lot of growling and a few snarls."

They all seemed a little too happy at the idea of Sam hurting Paul. I followed the boys into the kitchen, dropping the bags on the kitchen table before I went into the living room where I could hear voices.

Sam looked up as soon as I neared, his eyes instantly clouding over when he looked at me with adoration.

"You're back soon," he said with a big smile. I returned it, as I sat down beside him, the other three could get the rest of the bags.

"There wasn't much to do. I just stopped into that little store that sells deer skins and things and did some grocery shopping."

Paul's face flashed with a strange look for a moment. Sam only smiled at me. "Find anything interesting?" He asked a little too nicely.

I nodded. "A few things. The sales girl is supposed to help me later this week… I think her name was Sarah." I smiled as sweetly as I could "We talked for a few minutes, actually. She was really nice. Kind of sad though when I told her it was for a wedding."

Paul stood straight up; his face was turning red under his dark skin. Sam returned my smile. "That's not the same description I had of her. In my description she was quite terrified, scared enough that she didn't want to go to school in case she ran into the guy that scared her."

I laughed. "Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?" I laughed again, Sam joining me this time.

Sam stopped to catch his breath. He didn't laugh often but when he did he let loose.

"You know, you guys think you're so funny, don't you?" Paul snapped furiously.

I shrugged, entwining my fingers with Sam's calloused ones. "I just wanted to see what was so bad about her and I honestly don't know why she wants you so badly. She's too nice of a person from what I can tell to worry herself over you."

Sam squeezed my hand. "She is a nice girl. I know her parents. Her dad works in tribal relations at the office in town."

Paul glared at us, shaking and shivering. "She is not a nice girl," he growled. "She's crazy. She's obsessive. She should be institutionalized."

I chuckled. If anyone needed to be put away it was probably me for going along with this crazy life. "I don't know what's wrong with her, Paul. Sarah needs you right now and you won't even look at her."

Paul gave me a look, earning a growl from Sam. "Sarah doesn't need me. I told her I didn't want her. I already told her I wasn't in love with her or anything. She was just an easy…" He stopped there, not wanting to divulge into it any further with me.

I narrowed my eyes at him; he was fixing to have it. "You shouldn't have led her on either, Paul. You knew she liked you a lot. That's why you approached her when you did. You knew she would think you really did like her too so she went along with whatever you wanted." Sam was nodding in agreement, his eyes on Paul in case he decided to phase against his own few shreds on control. "And I think you're nothing but a selfish jackass to not want a baby you've created. A poor defenseless baby that didn't ask to be born. A baby that will need its father, especially if you have a son. Its not right, Paul and you know it." I threw the words at him.

Sam spoke then. "She's right, Paul. If you didn't want a baby then you should've been more careful about things. But it's too late for that now. The baby's been formed and it's your responsibility. There are people everywhere that would kill for a flesh and blood child of their own and you disregard this life as nothing but an insult to you."

I knew he was speaking of us now. Of how we would love to find out that we were expecting another baby. I felt the tears falling down my cheeks in a stream. I glanced at Sam noticing that he had tears built up in his own eyes that he refused to let fall in front of Paul. I covered my face in my hands, trying to calm myself down but I couldn't now.

"If you want a baby so fucking bad then why don't you adopt "it" and live happily-fucking- ever after together?" Paul shot out at us.

No words had cut through me like that in a long time. Hearing them from Sam's own brother made them so much worse. "Get him out of here now" I choked out. Sam was up in a flash, grabbing Paul roughly by the arm and pushing him to the door.

"You need to go," Sam told him lowly as he shoved him out and slammed the door in his face.

He came back to the couch where I was sobbing now, and wrapped his arms around me. "He shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry," he whispered into my ear. I laid my head on his shoulder still crying. I was crying for my own lost child. I cried for Sam. I cried for Sarah being so lost and alone right now. I cried for Paul who would regret this later. "I d-d-don't know what's wrong with him," I cried. Sam rubbed my back gently in soothing strokes.

"He's young and reckless. He's scared out of his mind at the idea of being a father. And even scarier to him is the fact that he knows he can't really be with Sarah anyway because he didn't imprint on her."

I leaned my head up; I'd managed to soak the sleeve of Sam's dark t-shirt. "I'm sorry I ruined your shirt," I sniffled to him. I wiped under my eyes, knowing my make up had ran when I cried. "I'm too sensitive."

He shook his head and lifted my chin up. "No you're not. You have every right to cry. I don't want you to think for one moment that you should hold back anything."

I nodded, my head felt stuffy now. "You should go find him, Sam. I don't want him to go near her until he's calmed down."

Sam kissed me lightly. "I guess I will, then. I don't think I'll try and get through to him again just yet, though."

I inhaled his warm scent. "I think he'll come around. I really don't understand why she has to be imprinted on for him to care about her, though. I mean, she's the mother of his child."

Sam shrugged, tracing my face with his free hand. "I would allow him to tell her everything as long as he decided to help her. Her parents aren't going to be too happy about this. I know them enough to know that." I'd figured that out earlier on my own.

"Sam, I want to invite her to a bonfire. I want to get to know her. I feel like I'm supposed to be her friend or something." It sounded crazy and absurd but I did. Or maybe it was because this girl had something I so desperately wanted and would settle to just be near a baby if I couldn't have one.

He smiled faintly at me. "If you think she'll come, invite her. Don't tell Paul though. I think he'll come around." He kissed my scars softly. "I'm going to find him before it gets too late."

I nodded and kissed his wrist lightly. "I'll be here. I've got to do a few things." I still had floors to dry mop and dinner to cook for a pack of wolves.

Sam stood up from the couch slowly, obviously not wanting to leave but knowing he had to. "Love you," he said giving me 'the look'.

I waved him off. "I love you, too." He grinned at me as he left, shutting the worn and weathered door softly.

I moved from the couch and into the kitchen where the boys had already put away all the groceries except for three boxes of brownie mix and a can of frosting. I shook my head and grinned. Talk about a subtle hint. I grabbed a large mixing bowl and started adding the eggs and water to the mix, stirring it.

My thoughts went back to Sarah. I couldn't help but wonder why she seemed to be so drawn to Paul. I certainly didn't see the attraction. Then again, being imprinted on, I probably wouldn't. I didn't see the pack like that either, though. I saw them as kids. Sam was the only one I could see in a bright light. I emptied the brownie mix into two pans and slid them into the oven, setting the timer.

I grabbed the mop to start on the wooden floors. It was starting to get harder and harder to keep them from getting scratched up. I frowned at the trail of dirty paw prints that led to the back door. I didn't see how whoever they belonged to had fit inside the house. I shook my head and started scrubbing at them forcefully.

I was halfway done with I heard Sam's voice.

"Emily?" I kept mopping knowing he would come to the kitchen where the pull was the strongest.

"In here," I called back.

I stopped for a moment as he came in with Paul trailing behind him. He had his head hung low. I narrowed my eyes slightly, wondering why he'd brought him back. "Paul wants to talk to you," Sam told me with a sidelong glance. I nodded and bit down on my bottom lip.

Paul cleared his throat, not looking at me as he spoke. "I'm sorry I told you that about the baby. I'm not sorry that I don't it or Sarah, though." Hmm, some apology that was.

"It's not okay but I'll look past it," I said in a quiet tone. I couldn't forgive so easily as far as my baby was concerned. Sam was leaning against the table watching Paul as we talked. "It's okay, Sam. I'm not going to yell at him. He can act pig-headed if he wants to."

Sam smirked and nudged Paul. "You can go home now. Straight home, though. I think you have a lot to talk to your family about."

Paul rolled his eyes. "I'm not telling them anything. They won't even care. Heck, they barely even take care of my sister and me."

I saw an opportunity and took it. "Let's hope you'll be a better parent than they are, then." Sam flashed me a quick smile.

"I get it, Emily," Paul said testily as he walked out of the house.