NB: My goodness, you're all so kind and wonderful. Thank you dear readers and reviewers for loving Brave Face, I so appreciate it. Without giving too much away, in this chapter there is something that I added in that is an Australian tradition (Yes, I am proudly Australian - Not quite sure if y'all think more or less of me because of that)...until today I thought it was something done universally..apparently not. This is actually the first of the last few chapters of this story (I feel like I should tell and/or pre-warn you)...so I hope you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it...PLEASE KEEP your LOVES/HATES/HOPES/FAVORITE MOMENTS AND LINES/COMMENTS/PMS/FAVORITES and WHATEVER ELSE coming...enjoy chapter thirty six...
CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
Sixteen Days Later…
"Go…away…" Rayna groaned, pulling the sheets over her head as she rolled over.
Her cell phone had been busily humming on and off for a good five minutes now. She thought she'd been clever when she'd managed to reject the call with her eyes closed the first time. It only took seconds for the cell phone to start ringing again. Her head was pounding. She couldn't remember what time she'd fallen into bed. It had to have been really late, or really early depending on the way you looked at it. She'd been celebrating the completion of the new record with Liam. Admittedly, after listening to the whole record from start to finish last night she wanted to tweak and change one or two things, but it was finally done. The record was done and she loved it.
Silence. Rayna sighed, relaxing into the bed with a smile. The cell phone started again, buzzing fiercely. Rayna swore, ripping the sheet off her head as she fumbled for the phone. She squinted at the lit up screen and mumbled expletives before reluctantly putting it to her ear.
"Bucky, I swear…" Rayna started groggily, hand to her head as she tried to prop herself up. "there better be a good reason for wakin' me up right now."
"I woke you up?"
"Bucky." Rayna breathed, struggling to ignore the aching in her head. "Please…"
"Ray, are you ok? You're usually an early riser. I thought that today-" Bucky spoke slowly, his tone every bit curious.
"-The records done..." Rayna squeezed her eyes shut, rolling onto her stomach as she spoke. "Do not judge me…I may or may not have let Liam convince me it was a good idea to empty the mini bar last night to celebrate…" Bucky laughed and Rayna swore, holding the phone away from her ear. "Why the hell do you have to be so damn loud?!"
"Sorry…" Bucky chuckled, pausing for a moment. "I guess you not answerin' your phone today makes a lot of sense now…"
"What? Yeah, of course that's why I'm not answerin' my phone." Rayna groaned. "…because I was a complete idiot…and now I'm payin' for it in full. Bucky, I don't remember how much I drank, how I got into my bed…hell, I don't even know what day it is. I do know that I have a finished record-"
"You don't know what today is?" Bucky asked flatly.
Rayna's eyes shot open, immediately recognising the tone Bucky had taken. She sat up and her head spun. She grimaced, looking around the dark room. "I've missed somethin' haven't I? I swear today was supposed to be free…just the sound check at 1:30-"
"-Ray, it's 12." Bucky spoke reluctantly.
Rayna swore, ripping the blankets off her body. Her feet got tangled in the sheets and she grumbled as she tried to kick them free.
"Do you need me to come on up there?" Bucky offered.
"No, I'm fine." Rayna replied, already making her way out of the bedroom. She ran into the wall closest to the door and she slammed it with her hand in frustration. "I don't need you to come up here…I just need coffee and some Advil." She frowned and looked down at the oversized t-shirt she was wearing and smelt it. "…and a shower, I need a shower."
"Ok, well a car will be waitin' downstairs when you're ready." Bucky replied.
"A car. Mmhmm."
"Sound check at 1:30."
"Mmhmm."
"Don't be late."
Rayna laughed grimly. "Hmmhmm, you're funny."
- NASHVILLE -
"Buck, you honestly did not have to wait at the side door for me…" Rayna shook her head, adjusting the handbag on her shoulder as she stepped past him. She took her sunglasses off and squinted. "I'm more than capable of gettin' myself to my own sound check..."
Bucky looked at her skeptically. "You're late...and you look kind of-"
"-Oh, come on?! Really? First thing you wanna say to me is that? How about 'congratulations on a finished record Rayna, well done'?!"
"Congratulations on a finished record Rayna, well done." Bucky repeated.
"Stop…would you?!" Rayna laughed, following his lead when he ushered her around a corner. "In just a few seconds I have to walk up onto that stage and pretend that I'm ready and rarin' to go…And you lookin' at me like you're worried that I won't be able to pull it off is not helpin'…"
"Oh Ray, I'm not worried…." He smiled, gesturing to the stairs that led to the stage. "I'd say I'm more amused than anythin'…"
"About what?!" Rayna cried, pulling a face as they climbed the stairs slowly.
"You'll see." Bucky muttered, grin wide as he shook his head.
Rayna swatted his arm playfully, clearly confused as to why Bucky wouldn't give her a straight answer. He remained tightlipped and Rayna gave up and turned her focus to stage. She frowned. The stage was empty; no musicians, no tech guys, no backing vocalists, no roadies, no Liam.
"No. Mmm Mmm…" Rayna shook her head quickly before looking back at Bucky. "Do not tell me that Liam is gettin' out of this rehearsal…If I have to suffer, he has to suffer."
"Rayna." Bucky chuckled, watching the angry woman spin in circles.
"I'm gonna go get him right now…pull him out of that stupid bed of his that he's probably still asleep in…I'll show-"
"-Surprise!" Liam and a whole bunch of the crew screamed, flooding onto the stage from every which direction.
Rayna froze, lost for words as everybody surrounded her. She looked over at Liam who was carefully carrying a birthday cake towards her and she swore, realization suddenly hitting her. Today was her birthday. Almost on cue, everyone began to sing happy birthday. Intentionally, everyone sang or screamed the birthday song off key. Rayna shook her head and shot a look at Bucky.
"Happy birthday Ray." Bucky mouthed after the disjointed birthday song came to an end.
Rayna laughed and crossed her arms. She was clearly uncomfortable with the festivities unfolding around her. He knew he'd have to answer for this little surprise later, but he couldn't help himself, especially after all she'd been through this last month and a half. She deserved to be celebrated; she deserved some fun and laughter. Rayna shot Bucky a filthy look. The last thing she'd wanted was everyone making a big deal about her birthday. But she had to admit that standing here surrounded by the band and crew, she wanted to smile.
"Yoo-hoo?! Earth to Rayna!?" Liam chimed, holding the cake in her face as he grinned. "You gonna blow these candles out or what?! Bucky said four candles..,but I was all for the whole-"
"-Ok, ok!" Rayna yelped, cutting Liam off. She pulled her hair out of her face, twisting it into a loose knot to the side of her head before she blew out all the candles with one blow.
"Not bad for a for-"
"-Hey!" Rayna slapped his arm, nearly sending Liam off balance.
Everyone laughed.
Liam grimaced and quickly chose his words. "Fiery, red headed, sexy, good looking birthday lady..."
All equally impressed by his quick recovery, applause and wolf whistles fell through the crowd.
Rayna crossed her arms and spoke wryly. "Smooth…"
"Hey, Angie…! You wanna cut this cake up for us?" Liam asked, quickly freeing himself from cake cutting duty.
"Rayna should cut the first piece." Angie smiled, cake in one hand and a knife in the other. "It's tradition."
Rayna took the knife and Angie put the cake down on a roadie case.
"Careful Rayna…" Liam warned, smiling giddily as he watched her begin to cut the cake. "If you cut the cake all the way to the bottom you have to kiss the nearest person of the opposite sex…"
Rayna's eyes shot up, stopping the knife from moving downward any further. "What?! Since when?"
"Since it's tradition." Liam shrugged, smirking at Angie.
"You're lyin' What in the hell kind of tradition is that?!…"
"In Australia…it's tradition in Australia." He continued, jerking his thumb at Angie. "Got in a nice little chat with your back up girl Angie before…apparently it's what they do back home to celebrate…"
"Seriously?" Rayna made a face and Angie nodded guiltily. Everybody laughed, watching intently as they mumbled opinions on the said tradition.
"This is gold." Liam laughed, enjoying that Rayna was squirming. "Come on, get to it Rayna…plenty of men to choose from."
"You don't have to do it, he's messing with you…" Angie grinned. "It's more like a joke tradition back home…You give someone a quick peck on the cheek if you hit the bottom of the cake when you're cutting it. It's something you do for a laugh-"
"-Oh, Angie...She won't do it…She's too chicken." Liam goaded, crossing his arms.
"Am not." Rayna laughed uneasily.
"Are too."
Rayna hesitated, searching the sea of faces. As her eyes moved quickly she hoped to see Deacon standing in the back somewhere. He wasn't there. She struggled not to let her disappointment get the better of her. If she was supposed to kiss anyone, she wanted it to be Deacon. Ever so slowly, they'd spent the last sixteen days reacquainting and rebuilding what was between them. It hadn't exactly been easy, but there had been ease to how they both wanted to work at it together. She smiled thinking about it.
There had been a number of occasions where he had left her post-it notes on her dressing room mirror. Half the time no one understood what the messages meant because he was careful to write things only she would understand. She'd quickly caught on and found herself leaving him equally cryptic post-it notes in his guitar case. He never quite knew how she managed to sneak the notes in, but he found himself smiling every time he'd open his guitar case.
Then there were the times they'd take turns showing up discreetly with two takeaway coffees and a look that said 'Let's go for a walk'. She couldn't place the number of hours they'd lost to talking, but she was grateful for every one. They'd laughed, cried, swore, reminisced, got angry, listened, discovered things they had never known about each other, and quietly recognized that the love they felt for each other was still there.
Neither had pushed any kind of boundary these last sixteen days. He hadn't tried kissing her yet, and she hadn't tried it either. Rayna thought about it. He had held her hand seven times. Actually, he might've kissed her on the forehead a couple of nights ago when he'd pulled her into a heartfelt embrace, she couldn't remember. She'd appreciated the physical distance and loathed it all in the same breath. They'd needed time, she understood that, but there were moments when she'd wanted anything but space. She smiled. It wasn't all bad; the distance showed her that with every moment she waited, she knew she wanted him more.
"Told you!" Liam smirked, hands in the air as he looked around at everyone. "She's not gonna do it!"
Rayna fixed her attention on everyone again, pulled from her reveries as she looked down at the knife lodged halfway in the birthday cake. Impulsively, she grinned and intentionally cut to the bottom of the cake. Squeals and whistling echoed around her as everyone clapped.
"If you wanted to kiss me…" Liam raised an eyebrow. "All you had to do was ask…"
Rayna made a face and shook her head. "Who says I'm gonna kiss you?"
"Tradition."
Rayna smirked and turned on her heel. Quickly, she made her way past people and walked towards Bucky. Bucky's eyes widened and he didn't get a word out before Rayna gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
Everyone cheered.
"You cheat!" Liam crossed his arms, ignoring all the jeering from a few of the guys standing next to him.
Rayna curtsied, smile plastered across her face. "I learnt from the best."
- NASHVILLE -
2:00pm. Deacon looked at the clock again and frowned as he absentmindedly let his fingers run across the strings of his guitar. He'd stared at his cell phone all morning trying to come up with a reason to see Rayna. He knew he didn't need a reason to see her, but he was still trying to find one. He was all jittery and unsettled. Today wasn't just any tour day, it was her birthday. He'd screwed up so many of her birthdays over the years he'd lost count. She'd spent many of her birthday nights by a hospital bed with him, waiting and hoping he'd be ok. He cringed as he thought about the time he spewed all over her brand new dress moments before she was supposed to get up and sing at a party Edgehill had put on for her about 16 years ago. That had been a horrible night. Understandably, she hadn't talked to him for a good two weeks after that. Deacon exhaled heavily. He didn't want to mess today up for her, he didn't want to ruin everything. They were finally starting to make their way through the wreckage together, finally starting to make it work again.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Deacon's eyes shot in the direction of the closed hotel room door.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
He frowned and put the guitar down beside him on the lounge before slowly walking towards the door. He opened it. Dazed, he struggled to find words to speak as he looked out into the hallway in search of someone else, momentarily ignoring the person who stood in front of him.
"Hi." Maddie stumbled, awkwardly standing her guitar case next to her.
"Hi." Deacon mimicked, still looking up and down the hall. "What are you doin' he-?"
"-Mom's birthday. Aunt Tandy and Daphne and I…we flew out to surprise her…she doesn't know we're here."
Deacon looked at her blankly, still confused as to what Maddie was doing standing on the doorstep of his hotel room in Houston when she was supposed to be back in Nashville.
"I promise that they're downstairs, they're with Uncle Bucky…I haven't done something crazy, like running away from home or whatever." Maddie tried, hoping that Deacon would believe her.
"They're downstairs?" Deacon repeated.
"Yeah…" Maddie nodded, clumsily fidgeting with one of the latches on the top of her guitar case.
They both stood quietly, unsure of what to say next. They hadn't spoken since that night when the truth about Maddie's paternity had all come tumbling out. Maddie hesitantly looked past Deacon, her eyes focused on the lounge behind him.
Deacon looked behind him and nervously turned back to face her. He opened the hotel room door wider. "Sorry, did you wanna come in?"
Maddie nodded, quickly picking up her guitar before wandering in. She looked around quietly, unsure of what to do. Deacon told her she could put her guitar down next to his and she followed his instruction. Nervously, she clapped her hands, blowing heavily as she looked at the ground. Deacon smiled. Rayna did that; she always clapped her hands when she was nervous.
"Coffee?" Deacon tried, walking towards the small kitchenette to the side of the lounge area.
Maddie screwed up her face, shooting him a look. "I'm thirteen…."
"Oh..." Deacon mouthed, putting the kettle back down.
"According to Mom, I'm not old enough to drink that stuff anyways…" Maddie laughed, hoping not to have offended to Deacon.
"Right."
"I drink soda…" Maddie tried.
"So do I." Deacon grinned, grabbing two cans of soda out of the bar fridge. He walked over and handed one to Maddie and they both sat down on the lounge. "So…"
Maddie fidgeted and picked at the soda can. "Can I ask you a question?" Maddie hesitated, taking a sip of soda.
Deacon nodded.
"Do you want a daughter?" Maddie squinted, rubbing her nose as she looked at him.
Deacon's breath caught and he swallowed hard. "That's a big question…a question I don't have all the answers for…"
"Well, I guess what I'm asking…is…Do you want me, you know as a daughter?"
Deacon brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face and smiled. "Maddie, I've loved you since the first day your Momma let me hold you side of stage at a tour rehearsal when you were just a baby…"
"You have?"
Deacon nodded. "This is new for both of us…I don't know how you feel about it, you probably think it's weird…I know I'm still tryin' to figure it out…I kinda feel really old."
Maddie laughed, taking the edge off the conversation.
"You know, I don't know the first thing about being a Dad...But I do know that I want to be there for you, even if you only want me as a friend...I'm willin' to be your friend, I'm willin' to learn…I'm willin' to do whatever you want…"
"Maybe we could help each other?" Maddie suggested.
"Maybe we could." Deacon agreed.
"You're right." Maddie smiled. "This is really weird."
Deacon nodded.
"But weird in a good way…I think." Maddie continued.
"A good way?"
"I dunno…" Maddie shrugged, looking at the soda can clutched tightly in her hands. "I've always kind of felt different, you know to Daphne…I mean, we're the same and all…but I just felt different."
Deacon sat quietly, listening to her intently.
"But now, knowing the that you're my Father…I don't feel so different anymore…Obviously, I was angry at Mom for lying to me…real angry…but I'm not so mad anymore. I guess I get why she did it…everything was real complicated…"
"She didn't do it to hurt you…" Deacon started, not fully knowing where his answer had even come from.
"-I know…I don't think she did it to hurt you either." Maddie spoke without thinking.
Deacon paused, lips pursed as Maddie did a double take.
"Oh, um…I'm-" Maddie spoke quickly.
"-It's…" Deacon started, unable to finish the sentence as he looked at his feet.
They sat in silence for a few moments.
"I'm sorry…"
"What for?" Deacon frowned. "Darlin', you have nothin' to be sorry for…"
"Yes I do." Maddie pursed her lips, still tapping the soda can. "If I hadn't told you about….you know, you being my….maybe you and Mom-"
"-Maddie, none of this is your fault, you hear me?" Deacon reiterated, looking at her knowingly. He saw the blame she was carrying in her eyes; blame for the accident, blame for how everything going on between him and Rayna. "The accident, your Momma and I…it had nothin' to do with you…"
"But it feels like it does and I needed you to know I'm sorry…Uncle…I mean, Deacon…I'm sorry." Maddie whispered helplessly. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she couldn't call him Uncle Deacon anymore. It was all so strange and confusing. He wasn't her Uncle he was her Father.
"Sweetheart, stop apologisin'…it's not your fault."
"But." Maddie pushed, stopping short when she noticed Deacon simply smiling at her. She laughed a little, eventually nodding in acknowledgment. "…Ok...I…sometimes I talk too much when I'm nervous…it's kind of a bad habit…."
"It's ok." Deacon smiled, hoping to offer her a little comfort.
They both laughed.
"You and Mom aren't together anymore, are you?" Maddie asked.
Deacon blew, closing his eyes as he smiled. Maddie certainly was determined to ask a hundred and one questions today, each pointed and intentional. He should've known that she'd get around to talking about Rayna.
"You haven't come round in weeks, she doesn't call you, and you don't call her..." Maddie observed. "It's obvious, I'm not stupid."
"It's complicated." Deacon replied, shaking his head as he looked at the young girl.
"Well uncomplicate it."
"It's a little bit harder than that…"
"No, it's not."
"Maddie."
"She loves you." Maddie ignored him, searching his face as he picked up his guitar. "She told me herself and she never tells me things like that…"
"I love her too." Deacon admitted, starting to strum his guitar.
"See…" Maddie smiled, naively pushing her point with Deacon again. "so you should be together!"
"Maddie."
"I know you're both mad at each other, but can't you just work it out-?"
"-We're not mad at each other, we're workin'-" Deacon interjected, shaking his head as he tried correcting Maddie.
"-You're not mad at her?" Maddie scrunched up her face. "I'm so confused. What's the problem then?"
Deacon laughed.
"I am so not gonna be this confusing when I'm a grown up…" Maddie shook her head. "Deacon, please…"
"You're not gonna let up are you?"
Maddie shook her head. "Mmm Mmm."
"You're stubborn, just like your Momma."
"Well, according to her on the phone the other night…she's not to blame for my stubbornness." Maddie smirked, pointing at him.
"Oh, really now?" Deacon shook his head. "The blame is on me is it?"
"Apparently."
He looked around the room. "Maddie, you're sure Tandy knows you're here, right?"
"Oh, yeah." Maddie nodded, suddenly remembering why she'd wanted to find Deacon in the first place. "…that's actually why I'm here."
"You are?"
Maddie smiled. "We have a favor to ask."