A/N: LOVED all the reviews and glad to hear that everyone is still interested in the story. Keep letting me know what you think, I really makes my day. Here's the next chapter – we get to find out the fate of Merle.
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Chapter 37
Daryl walked out of the court house in a sulk, shoving the doors open wide with his anguish. A scowl weighed heavy on his face, a deep frown marking it. Daryl hadn't really known what to expect in court today, but not that.
He had gone by himself to his brother's sentencing as planned. Daryl had half expected Beth to be waiting for him by his truck in the morning, wanting to go with him. He couldn't deny the twinge of disappointment that she wasn't. He had told her not to come. Daryl had made a point, a damn strong point, that she shouldn't and that he could manage on his own. Still a part of him, a little part of him, wanted Beth with him even if she had more important things today.
Andrea Harris was a good lawyer, at least from what Daryl could tell. She sure as hell was a lot better than some young, wet behind the ears public defender that Merle would have ended up with. Andrea had been more than willing to take his brother's case. While Merle had refused to see Daryl, the attractive busty blonde was right up his older brother's alley. Merle had agreed to meet with Andrea to discuss his case. Andrea knew her way around the system, and she did the best with what she had been dealt. Merle… well, Merle had been Merle. His brother had not cooperated with Andrea or the DA as they had hoped.
The case against his brother was strong; Andrea had let Daryl know that from the first day. There was still the opportunity to at least try and plea down or offer information about others in the organization Merle was linked to. Merle had refused to be rat or even listen to most of the ideas Andrea presented to him. Andrea hadn't been able to tell Daryl much about her and Merle's discussion even though he was the one footing the bill, pissing Daryl off more than it should have. Dejectedly, Daryl had listened to Andrea when she told them there was going to be no trial. It really was cheaper for Daryl by miles, but not great for Merle. His brother was going to plead guilty, and Andrea was working on a consolidation deal with the DA for what little information Merle had offered up. Maybe then Merle wouldn't be in prison for a decade or more.
From day one when Daryl had accompanied Andrea to see his brother, Merle had refused to see him. Daryl had even gone without the lawyer twice to see Merle, but each time he'd been turned away. Merle had never done that before. Previously Merle had relished in Daryl's visits or bail outs. Never once had Merle refused to see Daryl in the few times he'd been locked up. It confused Daryl, making that guilt in his gut twist a little more each time. His brother had been acting more erratic this year than any other time, but this was new territory for Daryl. Each refused visit was accompanied by a restless, worrisome night for Daryl.
All his fears had pretty much been confirmed when they had marched Merle into the court room. Daryl had been sitting and waiting in there for his brother's case, not in the front row but close enough to see the wretched look on Merle's aged face. Wearing his orange jump suit and his hands cuffed in front of him, Merle had shuffled into the room and stood next to his lawyer. Daryl knew Merle knew he was there; it was obvious as the court was mostly empty, but still, his brother refused to even look at him.
This was the first time Daryl had seen Merle sentenced. A few months was vastly different than the years Merle was faced with, his brother was looking at hard time. Merle usually smirked at these things with his bravado in full force. Not today, today Merle had been a pale, hulking figure that looked almost terrified. It had made Daryl's stomach sink.
It had been eighteen years of him and Merle against the world, and Daryl had changed that. He had been the one to walk out of that damn trailer park and his wild brother. He had been trying to do the right thing, trying to make a life for his daughter. He had needed to make that change; Daryl knew that in his heart. It still didn't stop the pain in his chest knowing it might have been too much for Merle. His older brother had been on a dark path, a spiraling downward deep that Daryl couldn't touch for the last few years.
Daryl had always been told he was the younger, weaker, stupider brother. His father had voiced his disdain for the youngest Dixon brother for years usually accompanied with a kick or a fist to the back of his head. While Merle hadn't been as cruel, he certainly hadn't shied away from reminding Daryl how much he needed the protection of the elder Dixon brother. Had Daryl really depended on his brother? Perhaps a decade ago, it wouldn't have been a question. Now, however, it was more apparent that Merle had come to depend on Daryl without either of them ever really noticing the change and when it had actually happened.
As Daryl had sat there and listened to his brother's fate being official ruled into court record, he was certain of two things. He'd made the right decision on Hope's third birthday. She was the most important thing in his world, and it might have taken his thick head longer to realize that than most people. His decision might not have been the best for his brother, but Daryl had to shift his priorities and he couldn't regret that. Despite that and even though Merle wouldn't talk to him now, Daryl knew his brother wasn't mad at him. Otherwise Merle wouldn't have ever asked for him originally that night at the hopsital. Daryl knew Dixon blood was thick, just like their damn heads, so whatever was going on between the brothers would work it's self out. It always did, Daryl just didn't want it to be when his brother was released from prison.
His stomach had clenched as the judge fairly sentenced his brother to seven to ten years. Merle had never been away that long. Merle's eyes had flicked briefly to Daryl as the court officers led him away. His brother's eyes had been cold and dead, resigned to his future caged life. It absolutely churned Daryl's stomach to see have seen his brother like that, causing him to march out of that courtroom the second Merle had been gone.
Daryl stopped walking once he reached the bottom of the courthouse steps, not sure where to go in the charged moment. Instead of deciding, Daryl pulled out his cigarette pack. He'd been smoking a hell of a lot more in the past few weeks since all this shit had started. He flicked his lighter on, setting the burn to his cigarette quickly, and breathed in deeply. It was a love-hate relationship with his cigarettes, and at the moment, it was pure love as the nicotine scorched into his lungs with that first drag.
It was cool and crisp even for October, the weather taking a turn for the worse in the last twenty-four hours. It was Halloween next week, decorations were everywhere and people were starting to dress weird. It was Merle's favorite holiday because of all the scantily dressed women pretending to be wearing costumes. Even when Daryl had been a kid, Merle had always loved the holiday. Before his older brother disappeared, he'd always taken Daryl out in the neighborhood usually as a bum. It was the one costume the Dixon boys could actually come up easily. The year before Merle had gone and joined the army, just after their mama had died, Merle had gotten him a Superman costume. Merle had probably stolen it, just showing up with it an hour before going out with the costume in a black garbage bag. It hadn't been Daryl's favorite super hero, but he had worn it excitedly. Hell, he had worn it for days on end afterwards that his father had gotten tired of it, calling him a fucking freak and tearing it off of him to toss into a bonfire. Merle had been gone by then.
Just gone… kind of like he was now. Only back then, Merle had shown up once or twice a year over the nine years while Daryl had still lived at home. Now Merle was going to be gone for another seven to ten years, but this time his brother wasn't going to be showing up on the doorstep out of the blue. Forget good behavior, Daryl knew better than to expect his brother to behave. There would be no early release for Merle Dixon that would be a cold day in hell.
Daryl twisted back around to look at the giant brick courthouse and saw Andrea exiting, looking around for him. He raised his hand, no point in hiding from her. Andrea saw and headed towards him. Daryl had worried about the price of defending his brother. Andrea wasn't cheap, but she wasn't some overpriced city lawyer either. She had been fair, and there was a payment plan worked out between the two. They weren't exactly friends but more than just casual acquaintances. Still there had been no charity, and Daryl had made sure of that. His finances were going to be a stretch for a while. More weekend and more overtime hours would be coming, the holiday shipping season was just around the corner.
"You left fast," Andrea said as she approached in her sensible heels and navy pantsuit.
"Didn't see a reason to stay," he grumbled.
Daryl was frustrated, but he knew he shouldn't be taking it out on her. He released a deep breath as he fidgeted with his tie, loosening it. Daryl had worn the only thing he knew that might look good in court, the same outfit he'd worn to the wedding. Did it really matter how he was dressed? His brother's fate had already been sealed with a deal. Still, Andrea had told him it couldn't hurt. The damn tie was choking him now that it was over.
"I know seven to ten years wasn't the outcome we were hoping for… We did get the best deal, considering what we had to work with," Andrea offered with a head tilt.
Daryl knew Andrea had done the best she would with his brother, and for that he was grateful. Lord knows what lewd shit she'd had to deal with. If Daryl knew his brother, and he did, Merle wouldn't have been able to help himself when presented with the busty, blonde lawyer.
"I know. You did good. Thanks," Daryl responded sincerely.
"We tried. Merle wouldn't listen to all my advice, but at least he took the deal when it was offered. There wasn't anything better that was going to be offered. Well, if he'd testified against his crew, he could have lessened by half with the original deal offered. But Merle was adamant about not doing that," Andrea offered. "He had a code he wasn't going to break."
This was the first Daryl was hearing the information about a better deal. He gave a sharp look to Andrea. It finally made sense to why Merle wouldn't see him, his brother knew he was in for the long haul and couldn't face Daryl. Merle had made the choice to leave again for longer, Merle was always leaving.
Daryl brought his cigarette to his mouth again, taking a long, calming drag from it. "So, that's why he won't see me. Coulda been out earlier, but he's choosin' to ride it out for those damn low lifes," he growled in a long, smoky breath once he pulled his cigarette back down.
Andrea sighed and shifted her brief case to another hand as she pried it open. "I don't know about that, Daryl, but here." She handed him a large brown envelope. "Merle wanted you to have this."
Daryl took the envelope from her slowly, not understanding. "What is it?" It felt weird in his hands; he almost didn't want to take it. The envelope gave him an unsettling feeling. What the hell was Merle giving him?
Andrea shrugged. "Open it. He wanted you to have it," she said, avoiding the question like a true lawyer that was good with words.
Daryl turned the envelope over in his hands, his cigarette hanging from his mouth. It wasn't heavy, but there was something more than just paper in it. His fingers itched to open, but he wasn't going to, not yet. Daryl just stared, frozen a little by the wonder of what might be in there.
Andrea shifted her feet next to him, clearing her throat a little to bring him back to her. "You wanna grab a beer later this week? Shane mentioned getting back to that little place we went to last month with you and Beth again," she offered nonchalantly.
"Nah, I gotta work. Maybe Saturday though. Gotta talk to Beth," Daryl answered, trying to keep his attention on her, but that envelop weighed heavy in his hands.
"Sounds good. I know seven to ten years isn't what you wanted for Merle, but it really was a decent deal considering the evidence against him. We were just lucky the DA didn't want to waste time with a trial really."
"I know," sighed Daryl, understanding the truth of the statement.
Andrea gave him a little smile. "At least it saved you some money, avoiding a trial. And at the very least, I got a little less time in the pleasure of your brother's company." She winked at the offbeat comment.
Daryl winced a bit. "Yeah, Merle can be a dick. I warned you."
Andrea toggled her head back and forth, considering her words. "He isn't the worst, I can tell you that. Merle was a little crass but really harmless. He was right though, you are the sweet one. Beth is lucky."
Daryl flushed but didn't say anything in response. Beth was great, but was she lucky? Not as lucky as the dumb bastard he was to have her in his life. Daryl knew that that to his dying day he'd appreciate how lucky he was to have that little, blonde woman run into him as the lightning had crashed above them four years ago. He'd been too dumb to realize it then, but not now.
Andrea refrained from compounding his embarrassment at the compliment and changed the subject. "Well, then that's it. I'll finish the paperwork and send you the bill. If you need advice when his first parole hearing comes around or support of any kind, let me know. I can certainly give you some help," she said genuinely.
Daryl nodded. "Yeah, thanks again. You got my last payment?" He'd dropped it off last Friday, making sure he was ahead of the schedule. Daryl had pretty much pulled everything he had out of savings to pay the first half of the bill. The second half, well that was what the extra overtime he'd been killing himself for over the past few weeks. And probably would be for the rest of the year because Beth's second quarter of school was coming up in a few months, and he'd made promises.
"Yes, Eric let me know." Andrea's assistant had taken the payment from him. He was a small fellow but very friendly. "Talk to Beth. Let me or Shane know when you wanna go out. We're pretty open."
"Sure thing," he said.
Andrea smiled and turned to leave, raising a waving hand. "See ya around then."
"Bye."
Daryl watched her walk away, but he didn't watch her. Andrea was good-looking enough with nice legs and such, but she didn't hold a candle to Beth. No one did. Daryl watched until she was around the corner, going to the parking garage. He should be walking in the same direction but was still planted where he was. A few people passed him, unware of him other than to side step him as he stood on the edge of the sidewalk. The envelope in his hand was holding him in place.
Taking a long drag from his cigarette, Daryl turned the envelope over in his hands again, considering the package for a moment. Merle. His brother would always be some sort of a mystery to him. Daryl got why Merle left home when he did; the old man had been a fucking terror to live with. He had wished for escape for himself for years, begging for it when Merle would show up. But his older brother had never taken him, never stayed to protect him, and Daryl had never gotten that. He never understood how each and every time Merle could just walk away, knowing what was left for his younger brother once he did. Daryl swallowed hard, trying to keep the black memories of his youth from vomiting out.
He never understood the drugs and drinking and danger either. Well, maybe Daryl could relate to the drinking. He'd partaken in the binges himself. Not the complete black outs like Merle constantly enjoyed, but a drunken night hadn't been beyond him. The drugs though, those had been their father's vice too. Daryl had been adamantly against them from the beginning, enough so that Merle had never even attempted to push them on him. Daryl had never understood how Merle could lose himself down the same dark hole their father had.
Daryl tossed his finished cigarette to the ground, snuffing it out under his shoe. He drew in a deep breath and peeled the envelope open. He pulled out a single sheet of yellow legal pad paper. Then, Daryl tipped the envelope up and a key fell out.
He knew instantly what the key was for as he pinched it between his fingers. It was for Merle's motorcycle. Daryl closed his fist around the cold metal, holding his palm as he tried to ignore the clenching pain in his chest.
It was moment before Daryl shifted the items in his hands to open the paper. There was a note in Merle's messy, childish scrawl in the middle of the paper. Homeplace. Back room. Go get her and keep her. You earned it. See you in seven to ten.
And that was it. No thank you. No I'm sorry. Nothing but the simple and cryptic note that was totally Merle.
Daryl tipped his eyes skyward, staring up blankly at the cloudy sky hovering above him. It had been eighteen years since he'd been back there. It looked like he was going home.
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Daryl pulled his truck off to the edge of the yard. He pulled off his tie and tossed it over to the passage seat. It landed on top of his leather jacket. He'd called Beth, talking to her quickly between her classes. She was coming over after her last one; she would be there in a few hours at his apartment before he had to shuffle off to work. Daryl had agreed, not really giving her any information other than he wanted to see her. Hell, he needed to see her. Daryl closed his eyes, resting his head back. He could almost smell her sweet spiced scent of goodness and purity, the one he got when he sunk his nose into the crook of her neck to breath her in, refreshing himself.
After he'd made that phone call, Daryl found he couldn't go home and be by himself. Instead, Daryl had traveled to the Red Rooster Dinner. Only once he arrived, Daryl had been informed his friends, Carol and Tyreese, weren't there per their usual. A medical emergency had struck them. Tyreese had been rushed to the hospital on Saturday, neither he nor Carol would be in for a few days. Tyreese had survived a burst appendix, apparently ignoring the dire symptoms like a true man until the pain had been unbearable.
Daryl had turned and left immediately. He had driven straight to his friends' house and was parked outside it now. Now that he was there, he didn't exactly sure what he should do. Arriving unannounced hadn't seemed like a bad idea a minute ago but now, dropping in on a recovering person with his problems seemed really stupid.
Despite not wanting to admit it, Daryl was more than a little mixed up by his brother, his note, and the whole damn situation. Merle had refused to see him, given him his bike, and was forcing Daryl to go back to the place he hadn't been since he was seventeen years old and on death's door. For eighteen fucking years Daryl had deliberately avoided that shithole. The idea of going back had churned in his stomach since the plan had been shoved upon him.
Deciding that sitting there in driveway wasn't solving anything; Daryl sat up and unbuttoned his sleeves, rolling them up his arms. The weather was cool but not for what he was about to do. There looked like a pile of wood had been delivered recently off to the side of the yard. There were a few split logs along with an axe tipped against the small shed. Tyreese had a fire place to heat the house. The furnace was okay in the old house, but Tyreese had talked to Daryl about replacing it next year. There were just too many other projects to work on that were more important. Daryl knew a few logs weren't going to keep his friends long while Tyreese was laid up for a while. Chopping would be a great way to work off his tense energy.
Daryl exited the truck and walked over to grab the axe, taking a moment to decide it looked to have been recently sharpened. He grabbed his first log and positioned it on the large chopping block placed on the edge of the pile. There were a few split logs next to it, looking as if Tyreese had attempted to complete the task before succumbing to his illness. Daryl lifted the axe up high and brought it down hard. The crash vibrated in his hands and arms in a good, forceful way. Releasing a deep, relieved breath, Daryl repeated the action, already enjoying the mindless work.
When Carol walked out of the house Daryl was on his tenth log, tossing the split ones to the side of the pile for later. She had a faded button up sweater wrapped tightly around her and an old, worn pair of jeans on with oversized boots covering her feet. Daryl didn't pause as Carol walked over to him, not even looking up.
"Daryl, what are you doing?" Carol asked with a weary look on her face.
"You didn't tell me about Tyreese," he muttered as he raised the axe high again, slamming it down hard and splitting the log before him.
Carol sighed heavily. "You have enough to deal with."
Daryl paused as he bent down to pick up the split pieces, looking back at Carol through his dark strands of hair that had fallen down. He frowned heavily. He wasn't fucking fragile. He had just gotten a small taste of what it was like for Beth, understanding a little better why she avoided it with the bracelets that covered her wrists. Once they knew, people would question if the world was too much for her. It fucking felt like shit.
With a dismissive grunt, Daryl shook his head back as he tossed the split pieces to the side. "Tyreese okay?"
Carol rubbed absently at one of her elbows, her blue eyes down cast. "Scared me… scared me bad but yes, he's fine. He's home now."
"Good," Daryl grunted, lifting the axe to his hand again. He wished he could take the damned blue dress shirt off as it was getting a bit dirty. He knew he couldn't. Showing Beth what was underneath was one thing, but showing others was a whole different story. His arms muscles flexed under the strain of the shirt, pulling at the edges tight.
"Oh, Daryl, you don't have to be doin' this. C'mon. We've got enough wood to be fine," Carol reproached, trying to wave him off his task. "You're gettin' all dirty."
Daryl didn't respond to her entreaty as she stood near him. He set up and split another log with a forceful grunt. Carol huffed next to him as he reached for another log. She wasn't going away, and he wasn't going to stop.
With a deep breath Daryl paused before lifting the axe again, knowing he might as well tell her. "He got seven to ten years." Daryl brought the axe up high and sliced the log before him easily, the strength in his arms straining against his shirt. "Merle wouldn't make a better damn deal. He wouldn't rat out those shit head people he was workin' with," he grumbled deep in his chest as he reached for another log to split. "My damn brother still won't see me, won't even talk to me. Hell, he couldn't even look at me in court today." Daryl slammed the wood down hard on his station, a few pieces of bark splintering off.
Carol nodded slightly, regarding him with gentle eyes. "In time… he will. He's your brother."
Daryl raised the axe and swung it down hard, splitting the wood easily again. Two halves falling to opposite sides. Merle was his blood that was for damn sure. Daryl was certainly stuck with him. Most of what he'd just told Carol wasn't the real reason for his agitated insides. He wasn't ready to talk about the key or motorcycle yet. He wasn't ready to think about going home.
"You go see Beth yet?" Carol prodded with concern. It was obvious to her that her friend was hurting.
The mention of her name gave Daryl pause, sending a side glace back at Carol. "She's got school today," Daryl responded lowly.
Beth was really who he wanted to see, he already knew that. Daryl wasn't sure what Beth would say or what she'd do, but just being with her, he knew he'd feel better. And he felt awful. Daryl still couldn't understand what the hell his stupid brother had been thinking to get himself in that much trouble. It was compounded with the fact Merle was going to be spending the next seven to ten years in a metal cage. Those alone were enough to make Daryl twitch, and now he was faced with going to a place he'd sworn to never return to.
"Hmmm," Carol hummed out, seemingly considering options.
It was beautiful out. The air was chilly, but the fall colors were hanging in there until the bitter end. The yard was still mostly full of blaze red and orange oaks and a few yellowed sugar maples. It was going to be a lot to rake Daryl realized as he looked it over. He'd have to come by this week and help since Tyreese was going to be out of commission for a while.
Daryl glanced over at Carol who was still standing there considering him. She was older than him but not by much. A hard life had aged her prematurely, showing in the lines around her eyes and the grey that was predominately heavy in her hair. Carol was a pretty woman with her short, curly hair style and bright, welcoming eyes. She offered Daryl a quirk of a smile as they stood there. Carol was a good woman. Tyreese was damn lucky to have her.
He turned his attention from his friend and nature and went back to chopping. It was hard and strenuous work, but it made his head go blank and let him escape. The monotony of the chore helped him to settle. Daryl would worry about his problems, his brother and history later.
"Alright," Carol said with a sigh. "Alright, Daryl. You come in when you think you're done. I'll put some fresh coffee on." She took a reluctant step back to the house, knowing he wasn't going to stop.
"Don't need to," he grunted as he lifted a larger log onto his block.
Carol scowled at him as she turned back to him. "Daryl Dixon, don't you tell me what I need to do. Its coffee and lunch when you're done doing whatever this is. I'm gonna go check on Tyreese. See if he's up for some lunch too. We just got him home last night. He's got a little pain, but if he sees you out here choppin' away like a fool, I'll have to tie him down to make sure he don't come out here to try and help you so don't you do this too much longer. You crazy men… can't recover like normal people," she huffed out in a fury.
"Yes, mom," Daryl returned with a twitch of lip going up, but knowing better than to full out smile at the woman.
Carol cocked a brow up high. "Pookie, don't you dare get on my bad side today. I'm gonna on like four hours of sleep over the past two days," she berated gently. "You come on inside. We'll talk. We'll figure out your cracked brother. Maybe Beth'll have some insight, she's got a sister. Family can be damn crazy but they are our family and we're just stuck with 'em."
He nodded at the statement, knowing he was resigned to having Merle as his brother as he always had.
A softer gentle look came over her face as Daryl went to lift the axe again, but it the softness in her voice stopped him. "And then there are your friends. Family you get to choose, Daryl. The best kind of family."
Before Daryl could actually consider the profound truth of her words, Carol walked back to him. She crowded him, but he didn't flinch. He was doing so much better at that with people. Carol touched his shoulder and leaned in to kiss him chastely on the scruff of his chin.
"Thank you, Daryl," Carol whispered before turning back to go back in.
Daryl was stunned a little by the display. He'd known Carol for six months, but inexplicably it had always felt like longer between them. Perhaps it was because of they had a shared experience in life, a pretty fucking horrible one. Somehow, both of them knew despite never talking about what it was like to be on the receiving end of a striking fist.
He watched until his friend disappeared into the house. It created a good feeling in his chest, knowing he had friends and Beth to lean on when life got tough. Daryl wasn't sure he'd ever had this many friends before in his life. It was nice to have them… to have a family for once.
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