I apologize for my lateness... I got back from Washington later than expected. On the up side, I'm out of school! Do you know what that means?

EJ POV

Falling. That was the word my father said Jacob used to describe our family. Or at least what was left of our family. Falling down, falling apart, but mostly falling fast. We were going down faster than the titanic, and the freezing water below us was not calm nor comforting. We would all drown.

"EJ, you can't think like that. Not at a time like this." Edward reprimanded.

"My thoughts aren't what's tearing us apart. I still have a right to them." I said, stubbornly. I wasn't being rude so much as stressing out, and he could see that.

"I'm sorry... I just don't know what to do. We all said our secrets, so where the hell is Alice?" It didn't seem like he was talking to me anymore.

"That's not true." I blurted out.

He turned to look at me questionably. I wanted to clarify, but I didn't know how. I was in the room. I was there. That meant I was untrustworthy, right? But what did I do?

"You didn't do anything," Edward mumbled, "You would've known. You're just a kid, EJ. She wasn't talking about you. Don't stress yourself out. Please."

"But I must've done something! Just look at me, dad! I'm an eight year old trapped in a fifteen year old's body! I'm a hybrid, a freak. I had a shitty childhood, and a crappy home-life... I'm growing up here of all places! I live with eight vampires and a werewolf! I have no friends and... and..."

"And what?" He looked at me with sad eyes.

"And I'm a horrible person."

"EJ..."

"No, don't do that. Don't act all sympathetic and pull the 'you're just a kid' crap. I'be been through a lot. I've done horrible things to people. Just look around. I'm the reason that this family is failing. I ruined everything. And I know we've had this conversation before. How it's not my fault. How I didn't do anything. But really, those conversations just bury how I really feel. If I had never come back to find you, if I just went to an adoption agency, or to live with Charlie... Alice would be here, The secrets would be hidden, and our family would be perfectly fine."

there was a short break in between my words, and before I could continue, he spoke up.

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong. I think you're forgetting that I'm the one who screwed everything up to begin with by leaving. Everyone was already a wreck. Things look bad now, but if we could buy ourselves enough time to rebuild our relationships, I think you coming back to us will be better in the long run. Anything bad that's happened all started when I left. Don't blame yourself for what you see."

"And that's where you're wrong," I heard a voice from behind me, " I had the chance to stop you from going."

My mom stepped in, sitting next to Edward.

"It was not your fault." He chuckled humorlessly, "I shouldn't have ever even thought of leaving you. Words can't even express the guil-"

He was shushed by my mom, who shook her head, "We aren't playing that game anymore. We've been over this. You didn't know. You thought you knew what was best."

"Bella-"

"No, now both of you get to listen to me. You know what really started this? That day in biology class, when I met you. If anything, we can blame my mom for marrying Phil and making me feel pressured into going to Forks. Or we can blame the school authorities for putting us in classes together. Maybe we should tell off our biology teacher for making us sit together. We could blame Charlie for leading my mom into leaving him, which set off a chain reaction of mom marrying Phil, me coming here, going to school, and meeting you. Hell, if you want, we can take it up with my grandmother for giving birth to my dad! It's just the way life works! It's nobody's fault. It's the world screwing us over again and again, for her own pleasure. She's a bitch. So it's not my fault, or yours or Charlie's or my mom's or Mr. Banner's. EJ, you can't blame yourself for anything, because nobody can. It's not our fault."

We soaked in this information, clearing our minds of guilt and pressure for a moment, before reality set in.

"But that's not how I feel."

"Excuse me?" She raised an eyebrow in my direction.

"I don't feel the way you're telling me to. I feel... wrong. I feel like it's my fault. And nothing you say can ever take that from me. Because it's how I feel. I'm the only one in charge of my emotions." I let out a weak laugh, "Well, except for Jasper, of course. But that's not the point. I just want to be whole. I've never been complete, even before all of this. I feel... empty, I guess, Incomplete. That's how I feel, and only by being put back together as a family will ever change that. I need my family. I love them."

There was a ding and my dad pulled our his phone, flashed a smile, and set the phone down on the table. He got up and kissed my forehead.

"Thank you." He laughed.

"Dad, what are you...?"

But he ran away. I looked after him, confused, before retreating to his cell phone.

Guess this means I'm coming back. We finally heard the last secret. The was EJ feels. Took him long enough.

Alice was coming.

Alice would be here.

Yes, we were still falling. But, now? We had a parachute to slow it all down.

What did ya think? I don't know how much longwer y'all want me to continue this... It's getting reaallyyy long but I love writing it. do you think it's getting washed out? Should I end it?