** 35 **

'Shepard!'

James ducked down behind a desk as Cerberus troops advanced on his position, waiting for a response that never came. He'd seen her go down but from his position it was difficult to tell if it was deliberate or if she was hurt. He was so intent on getting to Shepard he misjudged the battlefield and now he had a wall of Cerberus troops between them. What the fuck was she thinking, she knew better than to run ahead, to leave her team behind. He popped up to look but shots peppered the desk so he quickly dropped back into hiding. His heart climbed into his throat, it's deep, rapid thumping echoed in his ears. Adrenaline cursed through him, its flow a burning lava stream as he fought the urge to stand up and run forward.

Then another sound filtered through. That was a sentry turret firing. He heard screams as a carnage blast echoed against the walls outside. She was alive at least.

'Garrus, can you see Shepard?'

'Just,' there was a pause and the thud of a rifle recoil, 'she's pinned and surrounded.'

'Fuck!' James slid to the end of the desk and peered around the corner. 'I can't get to her.'

It took a moment for Garrus to respond and James guessed he was changing position, 'On three you'd better have grenades ready.'

'Roger that,' James' hand was in his pocket as he spoke.

'Three.'

James tossed the grenades and ducked. Four of the Cerberus troops stood up to run, three went down in quick succession with clean shots through their visors. The fourth panicked and ran directly at James who put several rounds into his chest. The building shuddered as the grenades exploded, two more Cerberus troopers rocketed to their feet, falling quickly as silent shots ended their lives. Not waiting for Garrus to give an all clear James dashed forward to find two men on the ground, they'd caught the brunt of the grenades. He ignored their dark, dull eyes staring blankly out through cracked visors as he pushed past and took cover against a doorway.

He peered around the corner. He blew out a breath and his heart settled back into his chest. Shepard was tightly tucked in behind an air car, with the civilians she'd rushed to save pushed against the wall at her back. He took another quick look.

'I count eight,' he readied another round of grenades.

'Seven.' The thump of a body falling sounded outside and James grinned, Garrus was in his element.

'Fire in the hole,' James lobbed three grenades.

The pattern repeated. Troopers who got up to run were lucky to remain on their feet for a few seconds before shots pierced their skulls or chests. Others stumbled upright as the explosions pushed them to their feet only to fall in death a heartbeat later. James rushed forward, coming to rest beside Shepard who was working frantically on her omnitool.

'You okay?' James spared her a glance as he placed himself between her and oncoming troops.

'Yeah,' she grimaced and cursed softly as she shut down her tool then opened it up again. 'Damn Cerberus engineer fried my coms.'

'We've got more incoming,' James checked his ammunition before looking at her. 'Are you ready?'

'I think so,' her fingers were flying across her omnitool and she turned to him with a satisfied smile. 'I am now.' Her voice came through the com and he grinned as she readied her weapon.

'Shepard, are you trying to have all the fun on your own?'

'Nah, Garrus, just seeing if you can keep up.'

James shook his head, he heard the questioning tone in Garrus' voice and knew they had frustration and concern in common.

'Let's do this together, shall we,' Garrus suggested and Shepard frowned but didn't respond. 'Here they come,' a body fell from a window, 'minus one.'

James heard Shepard chuckle behind him and with a nod he moved forward taking cover behind a concrete column. He was thankful Shepard stayed where she was to protect the civilians, he wasn't sure he could deal with her rushing off ahead right now. He'd only just settled down from the last dose of fear she'd given him. He realised this was the emotional conflict she'd tried to show him and he was doing his best to ignore the primal urge to protect her but that didn't mean he had to like it.

James swirled the drink in his glass and stared at the bottles on the wall behind the bar. He was off duty and thought that a drink might give him the courage he needed to face Shepard. Since returning from Benning they hadn't had the chance for a debrief, and he hadn't filed his report yet. He wasn't sure what to write.

The soldier in him should say that Shepard had been reckless, ignored protocols endangering both herself and her team. The admirer in him would say that Shepard had risked her own life to save civilians, trusting her team to be there. The man in him wanted to say that she'd scared the living fuck out of him and he feared for her life while ignoring the risk to his own. He downed the remains of his drink and spun the empty glass on the counter. Whichever way he wrote it seemed wrong. Maybe he just shouldn't write it at all.

They'd saved the civilians, that was the important thing and Shepard had searched until she discovered what happened to the recon team, then she found the dog tags belonging to the ambassador's son. He didn't envy her the task of telling him his son wasn't coming home but he would be beside her when she did, if she'd let him. It was a successful mission all round so why did Shepard's behaviour bother him so much.

Emotionally compromised, he understood now what Shepard had meant. To be the soldier she needed him to be he had to deal with it, recognise that line between professional and personal and not cross it. Today was a test and he liked to think he passed.

'James.'

He glanced over his shoulder to find Shepard standing in the doorway. She moved to the stool beside him, perched her perfectly rounded backside on it, stretched her legs out to balance herself, tilted her head and looked at him. As frustrated and angry as he was it still took everything he had not to smile at her.

'EDI told me you were in here. Something wrong?'

James stared at her for a moment before spinning the seat so he was facing her. 'Do you remember what you said to me after Mars, after I used the shuttle to take down Cerberus?'

'I said it was reckless and irresponsible.'

'What you did today was reckless and irresponsible.' He wanted to take back the words as her eyes narrowed and her lips became a tight line but he had to push on now. 'As your Acting XO, marine lieutenant and team member I have to tell you that. You put yourself and us in danger unnecessarily.' He sighed and planted his hands on his thighs, his gaze taking in the room before settling back on her face. 'Shepard, I know you wanted to save those civilians, needed to, hell, so did I, but dashing forward without waiting for backup was just wrong. It went against everything we're trained to do.'

James was starting to think that he'd gone too far, she hadn't said a word, her narrowed eyes gave him no clue to what she was feeling. His stomach churned, maybe that drink hadn't been such a good idea. It also occurred to him that he might be blowing any chance he had with her, especially as she hadn't given him any hint that she was interested in him romantically.

'When the coms went down we didn't know if you were still alive, you gave us no warning and we had to play catch up. I know you're an N7, you're the biggest badass I know and you could probably handle situations like that with your eyes closed. But you're not indestructible and you have a team, we're supposed to work together.' He met her eyes, not sure what emotion he saw there. 'You're no good to anyone if you're injured …., or worse, and we can't get to you.' he dropped his gaze at the thought that she might have died and there was nothing he could have done to help her. He decided to lay it all out for her. 'Damn it Lola, you scared the living fuck out of me today.'

She still hadn't moved or said a word. He raised his eyes, expecting to see anger but she was simply staring at him, her eyes open and bright with amusement. James looked at her through narrowed eyes from under a furrowed brow. Suddenly she smiled and it was like a thousand suns all went supernova at once. Heat rushed to his core and his body betrayed him as it responded, electricity coursed through him making him shiver in absolute delight.

He watched, caught somewhere between shock and disbelief, as she pulled herself off the stool and pushed her way between his thighs, his hands floated in the air but he was oblivious to them. The world became surreal as she raised her hands and cupped his face, her eyes taking in every part of him. His eyes widened as she closed the gap and her lips touched his. He couldn't believe that it was happening, to him, right now. It took him a moment to realise that she was deepening the kiss, that her hands had slipped from his face and her arms had gone around his neck, that her body was touching his. Holy fuck!

His eyes closed as he quickly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in. She might be the mighty warrior but in his arms she felt tiny, delicate, and he was afraid to hold on too tight, afraid of breaking her. His hands felt the firmness of her body, the strength in her petite but shapely frame and all hesitation vanished. He tightened his hold, whatever space existed between them squeezed out as their bodies moulded perfectly against each other. The kiss became more demanding, he felt the delicate touch of her tongue as she ran it across his lips. His hands came up to hold her face, tilting her head slightly as he opened his mouth to her, welcoming her tongue with his own. His fingers carded her hair, its silky softness caressing his fingers. She moaned and lust raged through him, he'd wanted this, needed this for so long, an unquenched thirst was finally receiving the first drops of moisture and the flood gates opened. He slid forward off the stool, using it to brace himself as he straightened his legs, one hand moving to her lower back as his fingers brushed the curve of her backside.

He groaned as she pushed harder against him, she had to feel his body's reaction, the instant hardness in his trousers. The scent of her overwhelmed him. He drew her in with deep shuddering breaths, the fruity odour of her shampoo mixed with the lingering smell of gun oil; she was the sweet nectar of life he needed to survive. The heavy thudding of his heart beat against his ribs so loudly he was sure the whole ship could hear it. Her racing pulse under his fingers sent him reeling as he realised that she did want him, did feel something for him. She broke the kiss long enough to change the position of her head before claiming his lips again He probed with his tongue and she eagerly opened up to him with a moan

Suddenly she pulled back, her body still moulded to his and her breasts rubbing against his chest as she gasped for breath. He opened his eyes to find her gazing at him, her pupils dilated, her cheeks flushed, her lips swollen and red. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen with his claim on her mouth there for the world to see. Her fingers ran over his face softly, feeling his eyebrows, sliding down his nose and gently brushing his lips. Her eyes followed. It was as if she was committing him to memory.

'James Vega,' she smiled and met his eyes, 'you really are something.'

James grinned as she used his words back at him. 'Yeah?' He brushed hair off her face, her skin soft and smooth under his fingers.

'Yeah,' she nodded and kissed him lightly before stepping back.

James felt her absence as if he'd lost a limb; part of him was missing. She slid her hands down his arms and linked her fingers with his, reluctant to break contact and James was euphoric.

'You're right and I'm sorry. It's just colonies under attack, defenceless civilians,' she sighed, dropped her gaze to the floor and for a moment he could see the young girl hiding in a shed, terrified and alone.

'Hey,' he lifted her chin gently with his finger, 'I get it.' Memories of the colonists on Fehl Prime flooded in and he fought to hold them at bay.

'I know,' she lifted his hands to her lips and kissed his fingers lightly, 'it doesn't excuse what I did though, and I did trust you and Garrus to be there.' She smiled before turning to leave. 'I guess it's Garrus' turn now, he asked to see me.'

'I'll always be there,' he hung on to her fingers until he could no longer reach and she hesitated before letting go completely. 'I hope Garrus doesn't get this response,' he raised his eyebrows and she laughed.

'No, this was just for you.'

He was still curious as to why she'd made the move, especially now after he'd just accused her of recklessness. 'Hey, Lola,' she stopped and glanced at him over her shoulder and James couldn't wipe the grin from his face even though she was leaving. 'So does this mean …. '

'You and me,' she waved her finger between them with a smile and he nodded. 'You asked me to take a chance, be careful what you wish for, Vega, you might get more than you bargained for.'

James gaped as the doors closed behind her. He wanted to jump up and scream to the world, punch the air or dance a samba. He did none of those things though; he simply ran his hands through his hair and spun so he faced the bar.

'Jesus, Vega, you've got balls,' Joker spoke from the ceiling with a new found respect in his voice.

'How so?' James looked up.

'Telling Shepard she'd done something wrong, that's gutsy stuff.'

'Someone had to do it,' he shrugged, 'worked out okay in the end.' His grin was back.

'Lucky for you,' Joker scoffed.

'Do you watch everything that goes on around here?'

'Not everything, I can't see into the bathrooms.'

'Gracias dios for that,' James laughed.

'Nice job, Vega,' the pilot chuckled, 'just don't let her down, okay.'

'Not a chance,' James sighed, 'now I just have to figure out what I did to deserve that.'

'You don't know,' Joker snorted a laugh. 'Here's a hint, it has to do with the order of things.'

'The order?' James frowned at the ceiling but there was no response.

James turned and leant on the bar, staring at the bottles as if the answer could be found there. Then it dawned on him. He'd approached her as a professional, one soldier to another, XO to Commander, he put professionalism before his personal feelings. He'd proved to her that he could keep the two separate, as hard as it was. It was something she hadn't been sure off, and, while it was still possible they would have settled on a relationship at some time, she'd made the move because she trusted and believed in him. It made him want to preen and flex at the thought that she was proud of him and respected him. He just hoped she was willing to accept him heart and soul, he'd dreamed of it for so long.

He pinched his arm, hard, and flinched when it hurt. Yep, he was awake, it wasn't a dream. He slid off the stool with a stupid grin on his face that he didn't want to hide. By the time he got to the door however, the grin was gone, replaced by the professionalism Shepard expected of him. He made his way to the CIC. He might be off duty but on a ship with a skeleton crew and few officers there was always something to be done.

He also wanted to check in with Traynor, they hadn't heard from Anderson for almost three weeks. It was frightening to think that the war may already be over on Earth, that there was nothing left for them there. It was a sobering thought that took the shine of his euphoria but it refused to fade completely. He fought down the urge to grin as he stepped into the elevator. Now he could work on turning his chance into something positive and real, something to give them hope for the future. As for that report, the mission was a success, that was all anyone needed to know.