A/N: Firstly, thanks for not hating on me. I know this is a major shake up but trust me when I say it's for a reason. But due to the nature of this section I am changing my update schedule. So you get this chapter today (Saturday) as usual, but the next one comes Tuesday (one day early) with another on Thursday. After that I will resume my old schedule so chapter 40 will be out next Saturday as usual. Otherwise things won't progress fast enough.

Edit: 'kn4sakura' (even though they likely won't read this) pointed out that this seems like filler, or a way to extend the story, but that isn't quite the case. I don't want to go out and detail every single fight these guys have, and I don't want to do time skips either. This sort of stuff, like Axel going to the digital world, helps me 'skip' the fights whilst still letting them happen. It's my way of giving people content, developing characters further and still making the plot flow as necessary. Don't assume I'm out of ideas, I have 2, yes 2 more stories that can or will be sequels from. Both are crossovers too.

On another note I'm writing another one-shot with a festive twist to it. Call it a thank you to all my followers/reviwers for their/your continued support. Be on the look out for it soon.

Also, I've recently discovered APB Reloaded. If anyone's on the Patriot server, come find TrueGlint. Of course I'm a Criminal, Saints Row and GTA are too big an influence on me to go Enforcer...

Apart from that, here it comes...

Digimon Tamers: Quantum Displacement Theory and Other Big Words

Chapter 37

Things became a blur to me. I vaguely remember being taken home by the tamers and their digimon, uncaring if they were seen. I vaguely remember clutching my digivice, no signs of life from the object I held in a death grip. I vaguely remember Renamon staying behind after the others reluctantly left, their words lost to me.

I remember Renamon sitting me down on the sofa beside her, wrapping herself around me in attempt to comfort me. I remember her words drifting lightly down my ears.

"You're not alone Axel, never forget that. We are all here for you. We will get through this together, all of us. I won't leave you."

I remember my mind disagreeing with most of her words. I couldn't get through this, I was alone. I remember Renamon saying that she wanted me, temporarily at least, to move in with her and Rika. Just so she could look after me properly without travelling back and forth, in case she was needed with me when she wasn't nearby.

I remember being blank the whole time.

I knew my visage was haunted, hollow eyes and pale skin. Drained of emotions as my life fell apart around me. The tears still poured from me, the only signs of movement in my entire body. I was barely alive at this point. My mind had shattered with my heart, Kiara's loss cutting me deeper than anything could hope to achieve. The sheer scale of my grief was immensely unfathomable. My entire life and all I ever knew was gone. Everything that defined me, every little quirk or habit, was born from Kiara in the time I had known her. My old self had disappeared well before then, the new me was dying now as well. Just like Kiara, it was fading into nothing.

I remember being placed in bed with Renamon laying beside me, just in case of something I didn't know of at the time. Perhaps she just wanted to make sure I slept... Perhaps there was something else involved with my loss that I didn't know of, being so lost in my hell that I couldn't see anything else...

I remember slowly falling asleep, exhaustion pulling me down as my broken mind plagued me with my last moments with my love, over and over and over and...

I couldn't sleep, not now and not ever. Renamon was watching me as I laid on my back, eyes wide open as I stared at nothing. Even awake my mind still showed me that same scene. Kiara's broken and bloodied body fading away as I held her, pleading for her to stay. My failure was forever imprinted onto my very soul, reminding me of that moment for eternity and beyond.

I remember not speaking since I had screamed out, silence being my only response to everything that came my way. My body was still healing from my incarceration and now my mind was broken too, my mind, my heart and my will to survive.

As I laid in bed, lost within my grief, I remember a single word escaping my lips.

"Kiara..."

I remember Renamon shifting and wrapping around me again, trying to soothe me with words I cared little for. I felt her try to comfort me, telling me she was here for me.

I remember eventually falling asleep, only to wake suddenly as nightmarish dreams haunted me as well as my memories of my loss. Each time I woke Renamon was there, still holding me, to soothe me to sleep again. This cycle repeated every few minutes for the whole night. I remember getting next to no sleep at all.

Morning came with agonising slowness, Renamon still wrapped around me as I bolted awake yet again. Dark rings were already forming around my eyes, I hadn't had much sleep in HYPNOS either and this was just making it worse. But the reasons were understandable.

Renamon had made me stand, seeing as I wasn't going to get any rest, and phased us both to Rika's. Said redhead had greeted us, or rather Renamon as I didn't answer still, as Renamon herself had explained how I was the previous night. I remember Rika's face contorting into concern as she gazed at me, my own eyes not truly seeing what was before me.

I was guided into an empty room, presumably a guest room, and laid on the bed. Renamon stayed with me the whole time as I just gazed with hollow, haunted eyes at the ceiling. Rika returned with her grandmother in tow, obviously being told about what had happened seeing as her face was also a mask of concern and sorrow.

Seiko spoke but her words went unheard by me, Rika's were likewise received. Renamon was also unable to break through to me. There were no words that would change me now, too much had been taken for me to recover from this.

I felt Renamon enter my mind somehow, or what was left of it. She spoke to me in soothing tones that I heard clear as day.

"Axel. Come back to us. We want to help you. We know it hurts, we can help. Please, come back."

I could only focus on one thing in my mind, the source of all my pain.

"Kiara..."

The day passed very slowly. I was vividly aware of each second that passed by, another second of hell where I had nothing. My body shut down as my mind collapsed on itself. My heart ached, each beat laboured and accompanied by white hot pain.

"Kiara."

Over and over my lips made the word, a deathly low hoarse that was barely audible. My digivice was still in my left hand, cold as ice from being deactivated for so long. Without Kiara to lock on to it couldn't remain powered, showing I was no longer an active tamer.

The other tamers had come now, everyone attempting to bring me back to some sort of life where I had none. All their words were nothing now, not even white noise. Renamon had tried her telepathy again but was unable to connect with me when my mind shut down. She settled for holding a hand in her paws, trying to bring me back.

I knew all this simply because I could feel it. Everyone's actions, words and behaviour. I was aware of it all while my senses remained active. But even they shut down after a while, my touch was the last to go. I withdrew into myself, the world being closed off around me. The very last thing I remember was Renamon's paws on my hand.

Then it was just me. Me and my pain. Alone in this deep pit of anguish. My memories forming a solid mass on one side of me while another mass sat on the other, my hopes and dreams. Both masses were useless to me now. They began to fade from me, leaving the aura of grief hanging over me. My definition blurred as I sank further and further, deeper into the arms or rather tendrils of despair.

Chaos ruled me now. My existence became a battleground. My soul versus my sanity. Both were taking a beating as neither gave ground to the other, carnage strewn all around as the threads of my mental stability began to unravel. I spiralled further and further down, hitting new limits for how far one could fall whilst still retaining a semblance of who they were.

I was Axel Mavor, and I wasn't going to survive for much longer.

I sat there for two days straight, watching him as he just laid there. I kept him hydrated as best as I could, but as the time passed by Axel showed no signs of returning to us. Kiara's passing had hit him hard and for good reason, losing someone that close to you is a blow few recover from. All I could do was watch and wait, hoping that by some miracle Axel surfaced again and returned to us.

My paws never left his hand, except when Rika needed me for a fight. We had faced the mouse Deva, Kumbhiramon, and won. A difficult fight but we managed to pull it off, although it would have been easier and quicker with Axel and Kiara.

The rest of us frequently visited Axel as he still just laid there, I spent the most time with him though. I tried time and time again to connect with his mind again but he remained silent. Almost as if his mind was no longer there. It frightened me, the thought of losing him as well as Kiara. Both of them had been a symbol for us, an icon from which we could draw strength and understanding. Together we could defeat anything that came our way, but now our team was wounded. Kiara was gone and Axel wasn't too far away from passing himself. I just knew, deep down, that if he didn't show any signs of recovering within the next couple of days, he wouldn't ever be coming back.

As I dropped towards my lowest point, something caught me. I felt like something was holding me as a whiteness surrounded my consciousness. I opened my eyes, formerly closed from my internal free fall, to see a familiar face.

"Greetings Axel Mavor. My condolences on your loss, but you can't remain here." Aluna. Her yellow eyes gazed into mine. "These people need you Axel, more now than ever."

I just stared back in hopelessness. 'How? I am alone, I have nothing left to give. Kiara was everything to me, without her...'

"I know Axel. Believe me when I say that if there was a single thing I could have done I would have stopped it. But my powers cannot alter events such as those. You need to get past this yourself now. As you know none of these words will remain with you when you leave my presence, but you need to find a way out of this. Make yourself believe that you are stronger than you make yourself out to be, return to the company of those around you and draw on them if need be, but get back to where you belong."

I shook my head. That was impossible. 'I belong with Kiara. Nowhere else is suitable for me. I can't do this.'

Her tone became firm. "You can do this Axel, you must do this. These worlds need you. You must be there to prevent the events unfolding. You know Kiara wouldn't want you to be like this."

Anger flared within me. I glared at the celestial being before me. 'Don't you dare use her against me! I don't care who you are, you never use Kiara against me like that! Go to hell Aluna, take your stupid realms with you! I want no part of this 'impending doom' you preach about! Release me and be gone!'

Aluna recoiled. "You cannot do this. Your presence here cannot be undone until you have fulfilled your purpose. Do what you are here to do Axel Mavor. After that your life is your own again, but until then you will do this."

I glared again and turned away. So what if I was supposed to prevent double world destruction. I had my own problems now. I was dimly aware of Aluna retreating from my consciousness as the memories of the exchange faded away.

I returned to my sea of chaos. Despair was my friend now, the only entity within my life that I could associate with. But somewhere deep down I felt I was wrong. I couldn't just give up. Kiara would hate me if I just laid down and died in a vain attempt to rejoin her. I had to continue with what we had started. I couldn't let all we had achieved be in vain.

I forced myself to accept that I wasn't finished yet. I knew I would never be the same without Kiara, but I had to try and carry on. She had given herself to protect me, if I just threw that away then I was dishonouring her memory.

Slowly I began to pull myself up, out of my own sorrow and back into life. My mind and body rebooted, senses picking up a multitude of things that overwhelmed me after so long in the darkness of my soul. I was aware of a paw holding my hand, my first thought was of Kiara until I felt no warmth. It must have been Renamon's.

Slowly I forced my eyes open to see the yellow vixen sitting beside me, her own eyes locking with mine. A look of relief graced her face.

"Axel. It's good to see you awake again. We were worried."

I didn't answer. I may have been awake but my mind was still focused on my loss. Yes I was out of my self isolation within myself, but the hardest part was now coming. Coping in life without the one I needed beside me. That was going to be a tough journey that I didn't think I would make.

Renamon brought a cup of fluid to my lips, cradling my head as she allowed me to drink. The cold liquid soothed my dry throat and brought me further into awareness. She took it away again after a few seconds, resting my head back on the pillow.

"How do you feel?"

I turned to her slightly, to see her properly. "Like there's a hole in my heart that won't ever heal. Like there's a piece of my soul screaming in pain. Like tomorrow holds nothing for me as yesterday reminds me of what I had."

Renamon held me tightly. "We will get through this together Axel. It won't be easy, but we will get through it."

I felt myself nod weakly, thoughts of Kiara running through my head. It wasn't going to be easy. I already knew that.

I had asked Renamon to take me home as soon as I was able to support myself again. Turns out I was unresponsive for three days. The mouse Deva had fallen in that time, leaving seven of the twelve left. No word about Jeri meeting Leomon though. Not that I cared much at the moment.

Renamon remained in the lounge as I moved silently through my home. Everything reminded me of Kiara. Her scent was everywhere too. The kitchen, the lounge, the bedroom. Even the bathroom smelt of her. It did nothing to settle my emotions, tears running from my eyes.

The bed, torn and ruined, was the worst though. All those nights we had together, all the times we expressed how we felt, especially when we truly became one, a gesture so deep and involved that I felt invincible. And yet here I was, without her. There were still dried pools of our fluids visible around the slashed sheets, fibres of Kiara's fur dotted around.

I sank to my knees and wept. Renamon obviously heard me as she came into the room, wrapping me in another embrace as she too surveyed the room. I didn't hide the fact that she could obviously smell what happened in the bedroom, the torn sheets only amplified it. She must have known already as she was with me the night I lost Kiara anyway.

Kiara. Even the mere thought of her name brought tears to my eyes. How could I live without her now?

It was late and despite my emotions I was tired. I crawled into bed with Renamon watching me closely. I decided against changing and just laid there as I was.

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight Axel?"

I thought about it closely. If I said no and she went home, I could have trouble sleeping and be left alone. Saying yes felt like I was betraying Kiara's memory. But I couldn't be left alone, I didn't want to be alone.

"Stay, please."

She nodded and wordlessly slipped onto the bed with me. I felt a little better with her nearby but I still needed more. I needed warmth, comfort and care. Kiara provided those easily, but she was gone. I felt guilty again but I had no choice, I was hurting deeply and I needed Renamon.

I turned my head to her. She was still watching me. "Hold me..."

And hold me she did, slipping under the ruined sheets with me and coiling her body around my own. She didn't have the latent warmth Kiara did, but she did place a nice layer around me to ward off the cold. I tucked myself further against her, thankful she hadn't matured, and allowed myself to drift off slowly.

"Thank you, Renamon."