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OTA Chapter 36

They could only smile at the easy going Caleb if only life could be as uncomplicated as he seemed to make it.

"Give us a few more minutes" Sonya said. "Why don't you go see what is keeping Ty it should not take that long to unsaddle two horses."

"Ahh you city girl, you forget it is not just unsaddling them it is also brushing them out and all those other things you have to do before you feed yourself. "

Sonya could only smile and tell him to get lost so the women could do the real work. As he walked out the door she returned her conversation to Amy. "So what is it you wanted to ask me?"

"It's like I told Ty there are so many things that just don't add up in my relationship with Ahmed. First I remember that I liked him apparently a lot. I find those feelings coming back into my life so try and suppress them because I know they are not mutual.

I went to work the other day after staying the weekend away and one day with you guys and he tells me that he does have feelings for me and asks me to move in with him. And had I not have already made arrangements with Lou I would have jumped at the chance even if he had not meant just moving into the other wing of his home.

When I told him no things really became crazy. He wants me to sign a contract something he never even mentioned before and from what Lou and Lisa tell me it is not a good one for me, oh the pay and benefits are great it is that it has a lot of restrictions in it. Then today he tells me he has a dress for me to wear to a party tonight and when I look at the dress it is like the one's women in his country wear that hide everything but the hands and face. That in its self-had me confused but then I received a call and said that the hired help would not need to attend he called me hired help!"

"And you want me to help you with all that?" said Sonya with a smile. I can't understand why I do what I do and you are asking me, a mere woman, to tell you why a man does what they do? I could live a life time and never understand them but I am willing to talk with you about it. I think you may have more insight into this than you think."

Ty was just finishing up Spartan when Caleb came in the barn. "Hey buddy is there something you need to talk about?" said Caleb.

"Why do you ask," said Ty? "Did Sonya say something?"

"I know I can be dumber that a fence post sometimes but even I can see this one. You bite my head off when I called you this morning then I was worried so I came to see you and find you had left already and Sonya was here with no phone or transportation. She was looking off across the pasture her mind somewhere on a planet a million miles from here. And she almost wet herself when I walked up and said hello."

Ty could not help but break into a laugh as he could see Caleb startling Sonya.

"After she told me a little of what was going on I suggested a ride to help clear our heads and she decides she needed to head up to Holy Cross Mountain. I tried to talk her out of it, but that did not work so off we went. She did not say a lot but what she did say tells me there is a lot going on with my friends that they need to talk about."

"You are right Caleb and that is the reason I have decided that we all need to talk and we cannot put it off any longer. What is happening between Sonya and I and Amy and I and you and Amy and you and I all needs to be laid on the table. I have thought long and hard about this on my drive today and I know what I have to say and hopefully after I say my piece the rest of you will step up to the table and be truthful with one another as well. "

"What do I have to be truthful about?" said a smiling Caleb.

"How about everything", his eyes boring a hole through his friend never changing the expression on his face, not the slightest suggestion that he was kidding could be seen.

"Okay then well the girls told me to help you so we could get to cooking. I see that you are about done and I can see that you already have this nights agenda set so I will just go with the flow. Do you really think I have something I need to be truthful about?"

Ty and Caleb returned to the house and washed up outside by the shower where Ty had built a sink. He then stuck his head inside the front door and saw the meat on the counter was ready for him and Caleb so he went in and picked up the platter and walked out saying "We should be ready to eat in about 20 minutes. "

As he placed the burgers on the grill along with the slices of onion and mushroom caps he turned to Caleb, "there is beer in the fridge why don't you get us one."

"My pleasure", said Caleb as he walked back into the house. It seemed as if everyone had gone silent and he felt very uncomfortable at the moment. He looked at the girls and said "is it just me or does it feel like the roof is about to cave in on all of us and it seems that only Ty holds the keys to us getting out alive or crushed by whatever he is holding over our heads. "

"No you are not alone in that one" said the girls. 'We are as baffled as you, should we start bringing the food out yet?"

"In about 5 minutes I would guess" said Caleb. "Here's your beer, what is up with you Ty everyone here is wondering what it is you have to tell us, and the truth be known it is a bit on the scary side. This is not like you and I for one am still trying to figure out what it is that I will have to say when this night is done."

Ty looked at his friend and smiled, "it won't be that bad I promise. It's just that the last couple of days have been a whirl wind of things going on and I for one am going to take this opportunity to lay all my cards on the table. My talks with Amy, if nothing else have driven this point home to me. I will not make the same mistake that I made before. Sitting back and being silent while the world comes crashing down around me. Sonya has also taught me that I need to face my fears instead of running from them, and you my friend have taught me how to care about friends though I must say you have a weird way of showing it sometimes. Tell the girls we are about ready to eat."

Amy and Sonya had continued to prepare the rest of the meal and had shared a few thoughts about what they thought Ty might want to talk about. Sonya had told Amy she was afraid that he wanted to call off the engagement and maybe even their friendship to which Amy assured her she did not think that was the case. Then Amy told her she thought it was about her staying out of his life with her problems so he could go on with his to and now it was Sonya's turn to say she did not think that was the case so now they just stared at each other wondering what this was all about.

"We are ready" said Caleb sticking his head in the door.

The girls brought out the food and they all sat around the picnic table and assembled their burgers and filled their plates with the salad, chips and beans.

"Must say that other than the salad this looks very much like a man's meal to me" said Caleb as he took a big bite out of his burger.

Sonya was the first to ask "so what is it that you wanted to talk about?"

Ty look at each of them and nodded his head at the food in front of them and said, "eat we will have plenty of time to talk later about that. Right now I just want to enjoy our time together."

Amy spoke up, "and just how are we to enjoy this meal when all we can do is think of what you are going to say to us. We are sitting here on pins and needles each of us wondering what is so important that you had to have us all together tonight. Sonya is afraid you are leaving her, I feel like our friendship is about to come to an end, and Caleb well I don't know what Caleb's problem is."

"You don't know what you are missing" said Caleb taking a swig of beer to wash down the burger.

"Okay I understand you are worried so I will tell you this much, Sonya I don't know what I am going to do about us yet , Amy same with you, and Caleb well he is more worried about his stomach than what I have to say to him. But this much I want you all to know I love each and every one of you and I am not going to let all that fall apart without at least telling you all what I think and feel. So if it is so important to you I will start talking while we eat.

"Sonya if it is alright with you I would like to save our part of the talk till the end."

A tear coming to her eye she nodded and let him know that was ok.

"Caleb you asked me what you had to be honest about so I am going to tell you." This statement caused the young cowboy to stop eating and look at his friend. A few days ago we all sat here at this table and we laughed and talked about our lives we left in a very good place I thought and you had even asked Amy if she might think of dating you. Amy in her wisdom said that you could go and do things with her but she was not ready for a relationship. I thought you may have had deeper feelings for her and so I was happy that maybe my best two friends might come to enjoy a deeper friendship down the road. Then I went to work and found out something."

The look on Caleb's face told everyone that he now knew what Ty was talking about when he had said he needed to be honest. "You are right Ty I need to tell all of you that I have been dating Cass on the sly so to speak and I had not told Amy or any of you about it. Though I think Sonya maybe figured out something was going on by what I may have said earlier today. Amy I do want to be around you and you are probably right I am not ready for any steady relationship with anyone but now that I have told you I also need to tell Cass. Will you forgive me?"

"Caleb Odell you are a wonderful man and if you ever decide to settle down again you will make someone a wonderful husband. I am sorry you were hurt so bad by Ashley and I know that you have not recovered from that hurt yet and at times look for what you can get out of a relationship and not what you can put into it. I know though that is not what you had in your mind with me because I saw how you put me first when you took me to the stampede when I needed someone you were there. So thank you for telling me but this does not change my answer to you the other day. I want you as my friend and would love to continue to do things with you as friends. "

"Thank you Amy. I must say today when I took Sonya on that ride and we sat on the side of the mountain while she was thinking I did a little of that as well and I pretty much had come to the conclusion I needed to say something but if it had not been for Ty I probably would not have so thanks to you as well buddy," reaching out to give Ty a hug.

"Amy, where do I start with you. We have had a couple of good talks the past couple of days and I have come to realize that you mean a lot to me still." Ty looked over at Sonya's face and shook his head as he addressed her, "don't go there Sonya we will talk about that in a bit."

"Anyway you turned my life upside down and now just when we are learning how to exist in the same space you start asking me questions about Ahmed and telling me about how you feel about him and ask me to make a rational statement to you about it. Understand this Amy the most rational statement I can make is that I hate the guy! I have never liked him and never will so I have to ask you to keep me out of being in the middle of the two of you. What I meant about us as friends depends on your life going forward. If you decide to continue your to explore your feelings for him and you end up together then we will probably seldom if ever see each other again as I have had my fill of listening to him or hearing about him. "

"Understand Amy I want what is best for you and for you to be happy but being part of that life and life style will not work for me. You are my best friend Amy and I would hate to lose that but I will not have my feelings stepped on anymore and being around him is more than I can stand at least it is now. I know this is harsh and it seems that I am asking you to choose between him and me when I am nothing more than a friend and he possibly could be much more. But I want for you, at this time is for you to be happy and if you are I will be happy for you."

Amy sat at the table and looked at Ty and then the rest of them. She did not know how to answer or feel at the moment. She had come to Ty to get his help and now he had dumped the whole thing back in her lap. She had to make this decision on her own and while she understood what and why Ty had said what he had said it still hurt. Ty had left her with a decision much like she had him back on the road side in Europe. Saying while I care for you I am setting you free to do with your life as you see fit I don't want to be what holds you back and I don't want you to hold me back as well.

"I think Ty, for the first time I can actually say I think I may know how you felt that day in Europe. Maybe not as deeply as you did at the moment but I understand how alone you felt at what I told you at that moment. Forgive me, for that feeling is nothing to make light of as I did when you first left.

The mood around the table had become quite somber as they all began to think about what had been said and the feelings that had followed. None of them was comfortable about dealing with these feelings and to have to do that in front of others made it only that much harder.

"Now Sonya…"

"I think Caleb and I should leave" said Amy as she started to get up from the table.

"Sit back down, we are in this together" said Ty. "Sonya, you were my savior and had it not of been for you I am not sure I would have finished school I well may have been at the bottom of a …..

Holding up her hand Sonya cut him off," no Ty I get to go first. I told you how I felt last night about you and Amy and Amy I owe you a big apology as I had some less than nice things to say about you last night.

"I let my fears run away with my imagination and then I lashed out at the one person who cares for me like no one else could. I shared this with Amy but now I will share it with you. When you came into my life you knew a bit about my situation and later you understood a little more when I told you about home. What you did not know was that I never dealt with my problems the way I told you and helped you do with yours. "

"Because I did not deal with it every time I see you and Amy together I am reminded of my first two serious relationships. The first back in Finland and the next with John, they both also had a common factor in them, they also involved my best friend or so I thought. I let Amy into my life going against everyone I know telling me it could not end up well. I thought I was stronger than that then I encouraged the two of you to get together again. This too was going against everything that I knew was right and doing everything that was wrong for us. But I told myself I cared more about you and your recovery at the time which may have been at least partially true."

"I think the topping on the cake was when I realized that one thing that Amy had shared with you that I had not and when I thought I saw you kissing her I went wild. I was angry that you had denied me that while at the same time happy at least I did not have to get over the forgetting the physical as well as the mental part of our relationship. "

"When I blew up at you and then told you I needed space at least I was telling you the truth at the moment. But I realized the reason I need space is so that I can deal with my past so that I might have a future."

"While on that mountain today I looked to the east and it became apparent to me that I loved you more than anything in the world and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you! But that is not possible right now, I have too much baggage that needs to be taken care of and until I do there is no way that we could ever make a go of it as husband and wife.

"I saw my friendship with Amy as a step in the right direction only for a different reason this time she is the one person sitting here who holds the keys to us ever being able to move on. So until I can see Amy put her arms around you and you yours around her and yes even giving her a kiss without me going postal on the two of you this will never work. Sure Amy might end up with someone and not be around but that does not change how I feel there would always be another Amy".

Holding up her hand showing the ring to Ty, "I never want to take this ring off my finger unless you decide that is what you want to do. But if it is, then know that you will forever be my friend and someone that I will always want to be part of my life. "

Ty looked at Sonya and he reached out and took her hand. "You have never been anything but good to me and for me since the day we met. I had a little time of my own to think about the happenings of the past couple of days and I like you came to the conclusion that while I have made large strides to get over what happened I still have fears in the back of my mind and that is what set me off this morning. I can see where you are coming from now and no I don't want the ring back. But I do want you to take your time and work out things in your life and hopefully we will be here to help you out. We can leave the engagement open ended as far as the date goes. But if we find that there is too much for us to get over then we will work through that as well because like you I will always want to have you as a friend in my life because you are what helped to make me who I am today."

Amy's phone rang breaking the awkward silence. "Hi Amy there is something I think you need to see" said Lou!

To be continued.