Very short chapter but I had to get this out of the way. Also, this is a good chance for me to comment that I CANNOT believe my crazy little story has so much support out there. You guys are wonderful (you know who you are:)!
Early the next morning, Sig arose and got ready for work. Expecting to be forced to work late, punishment of sorts for his two days of vacation, he tossed a change of after-work clothes and shoes into a small bag. Secretly, he was excited about going to the club with Nick and just being a young man for a while. Making sure he had his wallet in his back pocket, he left his room.
As he got to the top of the steps, Edgar's bedroom door opened slowly and his youngest brother appeared in the doorway. Edgar's hair was a tangled mess and the impression from his pillow still outlined his face.
Sig paused at the top of the steps, seeming a little confused, and dropped his bag. "You're up early," he said quietly, "Its only 6 o'clock." Norman's snores could still be heard from beyond his bedroom door so Sig kept his voice down.
Edgar shrugged, his eyes desperately focused on his oldest brother like they were pleading with him to stay.
Something about the look on Edgar's sleepy face made Sig nervous. He walked around the railing and down the short hallway, stopping a few inches from his brother's doorway. "You have a nightmare or something?" he asked softly.
Edgar looked up at his brother and shook his head. He put a hand up to his face, rubbing at his cheek and trying to find the courage to say what he really wanted to. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out except a small noise Sig couldn't identify.
"What's wrong, Edgar?" Sig asked, stepping closer and now getting very worried.
The worried expression on his brother's face caused Edgar to falter. "Nothing," he said quickly, the word coming out heavy and breathless, "I just wanted to say goodbye."
Sig tipped his head forward, his eyes glued on his brother's face. "No," he said as he moved his brother's hand from rubbing at his cheek, "Something's up. What is it? Did you want to tell me something?"
Yeah, a hell of a lot…like I'm already painfully sorry I'm going to disobey you today, likely have to lie my ass off and get myself in more trouble with you. Eventually, you're gonna give up on me and just leave. You could…nothing's making you stay here. You're old enough. Norman could take of care me and you could just say 'fuck it – the kid's not worth all this trouble' and go to Alaska to start the life you really want. With those thoughts running through his mind, Edgar didn't even realize his eyes were filling up with tears.
Sig only stared at him for a minute, watching the water pool in those green eyes and he could clearly see his brother was in a tremendous amount of pain. Grasping Edgar gently by his shoulders, Sig leaned in and touched his brother's forehead with his own. "Listen to me. I don't care what it is. Stop thinking and just say it. Don't think…talk to me," he whispered.
Edgar threw his arms around his brother's neck, shoving his left cheek against Sig's shoulder, "I love you." I couldn't mean that more. I'm scared, Sig. I'm scared you'll stop loving me.
Sig quickly wrapped his strong arms around Edgar's ribs. "I love you, too," he whispered as he stroked the back of his brother's hair. "Now tell me what's wrong." Because I know something is, damn it. I'm here. Don't be scared. I'll always love you. I'll always protect you.
"Nothing," Edgar continued to cling to his brother, "I just wanted to tell you that." He wiped his tears off with his own shoulder.
"Then why are you crying?"
"I don't want you to leave."
"I'm only going to work. I'll see you tonight at Matt's house, remember?" Sig didn't know if he should laugh or cry right along with Edgar. He was no fool, his brother was crying for the same reason he cried himself to sleep the other night, whatever that mysterious reason might be. Still, he hugged him tightly, stroked his hair and the back of his neck and provided the comfort that Edgar seemed to so desperately need.
Edgar tried to pull himself together, pushing away the fear of the Shack and the thoughts of disappointing his big brother again. He hugged Sig so hard, it was as if he was trying to sap some of his strength for the upcoming night ahead. As he released the embrace, he couldn't help but notice the hand stroking the back of his hair had a certain feel that felt different but entirely right.
As Edgar pulled away, he took the hand from behind his head and held it up to his face. "You have your ring back," he said softly, staring the giant golden circle with the dark blue stone.
"Yeah," Sig smiled as he looked at his own hand, "Norman left it in my room last night."
"Is he all better now?" Edgar asked hopefully.
Sig shook his head, "No, he said he didn't want to wear it to work because he was afraid something would happen to it. But, if you ask me, he was just embarrassed to wear it in case one of his buddies stops by the store." He finished his thought with a shrug, "Can say I blame him…I guess it was kind of a silly thing between the three of us."
"No, it isn't," Edgar protested, "It was one of the nicest things you ever did for him…or me."
"Well, I don't think Norman's gonna think I'm too nice when he finds out I'm taking the truck to work today…just in case he gets any ideas about driving," Sig grinned, "The tough guy is just gonna have to be content with having his girlfriend drive him around in her little Honda all day."
"Amanda's coming to the house?"
"Yes, just to take Norman to work. Didn't you hear them talking on the phone last night?" Sig waited and Edgar shook his head, "I guess she's taking him to work and then picking him up to get his stitches out. Then she'll bring him home. I'm sure her and Norman won't mind dropping you off at Matt's house after they get back."
"You're not coming home in between work and going out?" Edgar asked, feeling like dirt because he was only asking so that he could plan his escape accordingly. Sig coming home in between work and the club would complicate matters.
"No, I'll have to work late for sure today. I'll get changed before I leave and meet Nick there…unless you need me to come back?" Sig asked in a concerned voice.
Edgar shook his head, trying to look causal but still struggling with his deceitfulness. "That's OK. Norman can bring me over. Does he know he's taking me?"
"Shit," Sig said, "I forgot to ask him last night."
"I'll ask him when he gets up," Edgar volunteered. "Sorry about whatever. I just miss you when you're gone. You better go before you're late."
Sig got the feeling he was being pushed out the door. First you want me to stay, now you want me to leave…what is it? Are you still embarrassed to tell me you love me? "Hey," he said softly, "Don't be sorry about 'whatever.' I miss you, too. Maybe if we don't get home too late, we can play poker. I think I owe you about a tub of popcorn by now."
Edgar smiled and the grin reached all the way to his eyes. It faded quickly, though, as he added, "You just be safe at work, OK."
"I will," Sig reassured him, "You gonna be OK here all by yourself? You don't have to stay home, you know. No restrictions, remember?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine," Edgar punched his brother lightly in the shoulder, "Go."
"See ya. Have fun at Matt's" Sig said as he turned to leave.
I wish I could. "But not too much fun, right?" Edgar added.
Sig picked up his bag and gave his brother a stern glare over the railing as he descended the steps. "I'm not gonna comment on that."
Edgar went back in his room and closed the door. He felt terrible about asking Sig questions that had an ulterior motive. I'm gonna feel terrible all day so just deal with it. I'm doing the right thing.
The terrible feelings only increased when Edgar heard Norman's alarm going off twenty minutes later. Hearing Norman getting ready for work, Edgar steeled himself for the next lie he was about to tell. There's no turning back afterwards.
As he heard Norman's bedroom door open, Edgar got off his bed and came out of his room.
"Have a good day," the youngest Hansen tried to sound cheery.
"Ugh," was the mumbled response, "I do NOT feel like going to work. Half the crap in the inventory is probably fuc…messed up and I'll spend the day trying to find everything."
"At least you don't have to lie around in bed all day," Edgar tried to get his older brother to smile.
Norman ran a hand over his short cropped hair, "And why did I complain about that again?" He did offer his younger brother a grin. "You gonna be OK here? You can still come with me."
"Thanks but I'm gonna work on my essay for a while…then I'm going to Matt's house," Edgar added quietly. Here it comes.
"How you gettin' there? Nick coming to pick you up?"
"Ah, no," Edgar tried to keep his hand away from his face, "I'm riding my bike over."
Norman cocked his head, "Sig say that was OK?"
"Yeah," Edgar's stomach took a hard turn, a knot beginning to form that would last the entire day and night, "He's gonna bring me home later and we'll get the bike tomorrow." God, it hurts to lie to you.
Norman furrowed his eyebrows together and Edgar stopped breathing. A car horn beeped from the driveway and Norman turned to look at the clock in his bedroom. "That's Amanda. I gotta go," he said quickly, giving Edgar one final glance, "Just be careful on that bike. She's got a lot more horsepower then she came with so take it easy."
"I know…I will," Edgar sighed inwardly. He paused as Norman started running down the steps. Calling after him, he added "I love you."
Norman stopped halfway down the steps, freezing in place. He looked up at his brother who was leaning over the railing. "I love you, too, Edgar." Then he continued on his way, feeling guilty for thinking something was up with his brother just because Edgar told him he loved him. That's a terrible thought to think that people only say that when something's wrong. Maybe he's just lonely after spending all that time together at the lake. At least that's what I'm choosing to believe.
Only when Edgar heard the back door slam and the Honda drive off did he break down to his bedroom floor and cry his eyes out.
~tbc