Chapter Thirty-Seven: The Protector

The pale, white fist rushed at me and, without thought, I blocked it and sent out a punch of my own. Jasper dodged before I could make contact and, digging his foot into the back of my knee, sent me sprawling head-first to the ground. I flipped back to my feet just as he charged forward. He made a grab for me, but I sidestepped before delivering a swift uppercut to his chin.

He grunted and staggered back. I continued after him, using the same move he'd previously used on me to trip him up. His body slammed to the ground, and I put my foot over his neck to keep him there, his face buried in the snow. Using every ounce of strength Jacob had sent me, I held him down.

"Do you yield?" I asked, my chest heaving with rapid breaths.

Jasper struggled against the confines my boot. I smiled, knowing I had my uncle exactly where I wanted him. Then, of course, everything changed. Before I could blink, he slithered out from beneath my boot and used his vampire speed to maneuver away. Before I knew it, he was restraining my arms behind me.

"Do you yield?" he said against my ear.

"Never," I ground out, forcing my arms forward. He wrestled against me, trying to keep them in place. While he was busy with that, I stepped back into Jasper and head-butted him. He immediately released me and stumbled away. I whirled around and began to charge.

"That's enough!" Dad called. "Everyone stand down!"

I'd been concentrating so hard on maintaining my connection with Jacob while fighting with Jasper that I'd almost forgotten this was training. My uncle and I stared at each other a moment before breaking into dual smiles.

"Well done, niece. You're really coming along," he said, ruffling my head like I was a boy or something. "You might actually be a threat to me one of these days."

I pushed my mussed bangs out of my eyes and smirked. "Oh, please! You were getting your butt kicked, Uncle Jasper, and you know it."

"No, that was Rosalie," Alice said as she approached us.

We looked over in time to see Rosalie picking herself up off the ground. Jacob, in wolf form, had pinned her there before Dad had called a halt to everything. My triumphant wolf boy galloped over to me, a canine version of his usual lopsided grin in place. When he reached my side, he used his large tongue to give my arm a generous lick.

"Yuck, Jake!" I said, with a squeal. "Why do you delight in doing that?"

He let out a strangled bark which I presumed was laughter and rubbed his head against my side much like a cat did when it wanted attention. Without thought, I reached over to scratch behind his ears, something I knew he enjoyed. (It's times like these that having a werewolf for a boyfriend is especially weird.)

"Make sure you give him his flea bath later, Nessie," Rosalie muttered as she made her way back to the sidelines.

Jake laughed again just as Emmett said, "Now, babe, don't be a sore loser."

"Do you know how long it's going to take me to get the snow and dirt out of my hair?" She complained.

Everyone left the consoling of Rosalie to Emmett and regrouped to the middle of the field.

"Well done, Nessie and Jacob," Carlisle said. "You both have become quite proficient at defending yourselves while maintaining your shared strength. I'm proud of the progress you've made. Jasper, you, Emmett, and Edward have done a remarkable job getting everyone ready."

"Carlisle," Dad said, "Jake wants to know if you have any theories on why Nessie can't send her strength yet."

Any happiness and pride I felt suddenly melted away. All the progress Jake and I had made felt redundant because I was still unable to move forward with my sending abilities. To say it was frustrating for me was putting it mildly.

Carlisle tapped his index finger lightly against his mouth. "The inner workings of the imprinting are fascinatingly complex, and there is no literature available to give me any definitive background data on this kind of phenomenon. Sue put me in touch with a few of the tribal elders on the phone, but none have ever seen an imprinting manifest itself in this particular way."

"Because no werewolf ever imprinted on a half-vampire before?" I asked.

"Most likely," Carlisle answered. "Observing you as I have these last few sessions, you and Jacob share the bond of strength, but move and fight like two very separate beings. It's obvious you two have some kind of link, but if I didn't know about the imprinting, I would never suspect what was truly going on. I would think the strength you were showing was your own. Unfortunately, though, without knowing more about how this bond between you and Jacob exactly works, I can only hazard a few guesses as to why you haven't been able to share your strength with him."

Seeing as how guesses with Carlisle were usually better than facts from anyone else, I pressed the matter. "What are your guesses?"

"Well, there is the obvious one, which is that you haven't fully matured yet in your growth. But, I think that is highly unlikely as you are fully developed in every other way. You've haven't gained even the barest inch of height since last summer. Secondly, it's possible there is some step that Jacob is unconsciously performing that you are not."

A few minutes went by while Dad read Jake's thoughts. "Jacob says there's nothing to it. He concentrates on Nessie and then shoves everything he has her way. There are only the two steps."

Carlisle replied, "As I said, these are only guesses. Although, I do find something curious."

"What?" Mom asked.

"When Jacob shares his strength with Nessie, it makes sense that she would then be stronger than she is on her own as his strength has be added to hers. However, I have observed that his strength increases also during this time. So much so that he is powerful enough to throw off someone as strong as Emmett. It's almost like Jacob is somehow tapping into Nessie's strength while transmitting his own to her." His shook his head as if he were confused. "It doesn't make sense in light of the fact that Nessie has been unable to send Jacob anything, but it is interesting to note nonetheless."

"So, Papa Carlisle, you're saying we might be able to transmit our powers to each other at the same time?" The mere idea of that boggled my mind.

Carlisle's face shined brighter than normal, as it always did when he was on the brink of gaining new knowledge. "I'm not sure," he said. "I'd like to run a few tests on you and Jacob over the next few days. It might be the answer to figuring out what's blocking you from sending."

"Anything at this point is better than nothing," I said.

Jasper called a halt to our training for the day. Jacob ran over to the woods and emerged a few minutes later wearing only a pair of cut-off gray shorts that used to be his favorite jogging pants.

"I wish you'd throw those out," Alice tsked as he walked over to me.

"I like them," Jacob retorted. "They're comfortable and easy to carry around. Everything doesn't have to have a designer label, Alice."

"Says you," she said, sticking out her tongue at him as she laughed and ran to catch up with Jasper.

Jacob turned to me with a smile. "What time are you picking me up?"

My consternation over my failures evaporated. I'd momentarily forgotten we were having our date tonight. "I'm picking you up?"

He put his hands affectedly on his hips. "You asked me out, remember? That means you pick me up."

I giggled at his ridiculousness. "Whatever. I'll be at your door in an hour."

He wrapped an arm around my waist as we followed the others to the house. I was picking up an awful lot of nervousness from him, which I thought was cute considering that we'd already been on several dates. What was left to be nervous about?

"You still haven't told me where we're going," he said, his voice losing its teasing edge.

"You didn't tell me either on our first date. Turnabout's fair play, don't you think?"

"I suppose," he said, casting me a doubtful glance. "I'd still like to know how you talked your parents into letting us be off alone for an entire evening. Safety is a priority and—"

"Calm down," I said, giving him a swift kiss. "I've worked it all out. Just be ready in an hour. I'm not the kind of woman who likes to be kept waiting."

And with that, I sped off, leaving him staring after me. I rushed through my shower. (Yes, half-vampires take showers. We sweat and get dirty like everyone else. Believe me, you want me to shower regularly. Also, the other members of my family take showers. They don't sweat, but they do routinely get dirty. Example: Rosalie will probably be in the shower most of tonight just washing her hair after training.) I dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a pale yellow sweater and remembered to put on the black onyx necklace Jake had given me for Christmas. After that, I pulled my hair into a neat ponytail and made it downstairs to the kitchen with twenty minutes to spare.

Esme was waiting for me, shutting the lid on a brown wicker basket. "Everything is as you requested," she said, handing it to me.

I leaned over to peck her cheek. "You're the best grandmother ever. Have I told you that lately?"

"Yes, but it doesn't mean I'll ever tire of hearing it," she replied with a warm smile. She handed me a checkered blanket and a heavy, plastic bag. "There's a lighter in the bottom."

I thanked her again, pulled on a jacket, and left. Mom and Dad were sitting on the front porch talking as I walked by. I didn't make it two steps before Dad said, "Be home by 9:00. You have school tomorrow and, grown or not, there's no need for you and Jacob to be together all night."

"Edward," Mom admonished, "don't be a hypocrite. Do I need to remind you that when we were dating you used to spend every night with me in my bed?"

Dad groaned in frustration. "Don't tell her that, Bella, or she'll think we're condoning her spending the night at Jacob's—which we're not. Nessie, I can assure you that nothing lascivious went on between your mother and me on those nights I stayed over at her house."

"Not from a lack of trying on my part, I can tell you that," Mom retorted with a wry laugh.

I was sure if my father could have blushed in that moment, he would have. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. My humor at Dad's expense would only make this worse.

"That's it! Nessie, be home by 8:00," Dad ordered.

Mom popped him on the shoulder. "Oh, Edward, stop being a stereotype. You've given your blessing to them. You can't take it back now. Nessie, don't listen to him. As long as you're home by 11:00, you're good."

Nodding, I scurried away before Dad could change her mind. Zipping out to my preordained spot, I set up everything and made it back to Jacob's door right on time. It was getting darker by the minute, but my half-vampire eyesight still allowed me to see everything pretty clearly. I knocked on Jacob's door.

The scent of soap, shampoo, the ever-present woodsy smell of pure Jacob hit me the second he opened the door. He was dressed in his usual jeans and t-shirt combo, both of which were brand new and —no doubt—designer.

"Alice?" I asked with a laugh as my eyes ran over him.

He grimaced. "Alice."

(Alice routinely raided Jacob's closet while he was at work, tossing out worn clothing and replacing it with new—something she did to all of us. Thus, if Jacob wanted to wear something more than twice, he had to hide it. I'd wondered more than once how he'd managed to protect his precious gray cut-offs from her for this long.)

He reached out to finger the necklace I was wearing. "So you do like it?"

"Of course. It's beautiful. I would have worn it before, but we've been training so much lately I was afraid it might get broken."

He kissed me quickly before pulling back, supreme satisfaction on his face.

"Well, Mr. Black, are you ready to go on our date?"

Jacob bowed dramatically. "Of course, Miss Cullen. Just show me the way." He shut the door behind him and followed me down the steps. Stopping suddenly, he looked startled when I bypassed the garage and went towards the training field.

I looked over a shoulder at him. "You coming?"

Arching a curious brow, he loped over to me, lacing our fingers as we walked along. He didn't ask the question I knew he was dying to ask until we'd passed through the training field and kept going. "Are we walking to New York for this date?"

"Nope," I said and pulled him up a small rise just a few steps east of the field. Once we'd topped that, I felt the awe of the moment hit him.

There before us was on the snow-laden ground was the thick checkered blanket laid out with the basket. Circling it all was a bevy of fat, white candles, each one flickering in the slight wind in the night air.

Jacob looked at me. "You're amazing."

I shrugged and sent him a sassy wink. "I know. It's the only way I could be alone with you and keep my parents from freaking out about safety. I'm learning to compromise in my old age."

"Glad to hear it. I hope to practice compromising with you in the near future."

I let that loaded comment slide and pulled him over to the blanket. After we'd taken our seats, I opened the basket and started pulling out various foodstuffs.

"You cooked?" he asked in surprise.

"No time. I got a little help from Mama Esme."

Esme had gone overboard. There was lemonade, fried chicken, biscuits, fruit, cheese, apple tarts and Jacob's favorite peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies, one of which he immediately snatched up.

Taking a bite, he sighed. "I love having a grandmother."

I laughed and helped myself to a chicken leg. When we'd eaten and drank our fill, I put everything away. Jacob lounged back, laying his head in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair absentmindedly as I enjoyed the quiet peacefulness of the night. This tranquility was only disturbed by an owl hooting in the distance and the fact that I could sense Jacob had something heavy weighing on his mind. Whatever it was made him a mixed up wreck of emotions. Anxiety, anger, frustration, and determination were the easiest ones to recognize.

"What are you thinking about?"

Jacob glanced up at me. It was obvious he wanted to lie, but knew the imprinting would tell on him. He looked away before answering. "Two things. The Volturi and you."

"Don't waste your time worrying about the Volturi. It could take them years before they decide to come here. They could even change their minds and not come at all."

"It might take them years to get here, Nessie, but they'll come just the same. Never doubt that."

I rubbed his forehead, trying to soothe away his concerns. "We'll have a plan in place when they do. Jasper and Dad have already worked on all sorts of scenarios. We're just waiting for Alice to give us the details and we'll be set."

He stared up at the crescent moon above us. "You're scared too, darlin'. You're trying to hide it from me, but I can still feel it."

(The worst thing about this imprinting is that one of us can't even lie in order to make the other feel better. It sucks.) "I just think my original plan was—"

"The plan of a little girl hoping for a fairy tale ending where everyone walks away without a scratch? That isn't the kind of world we live in. We have to fight them, Nessie. It's the only way to end this—even if people have to die."

"That's not the kind of reality I want to live in."

Jacob exhaled heavily and sat up, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He looked over at me. "If I ask you something, will you at least hear me out before you answer?"

I held my breath, hoping this wasn't another proposal he was working up to. I didn't want to fight with him about that right now. "As long as it doesn't involve a ring, I'll listen."

"It's not that." He reached over to take my hand in his. "I love you, Nessie. I wouldn't want to be in a world where you don't exist. I've given this a lot of thought. I think if we could keep you away when the Volturi get here—"

"No, Jake! I'm not going to hide while the rest of my family is out fighting for me. I'll fight too. One of us goes down, we all go down."

"You said you'd listen as long as it didn't involve a ring."

I frowned. "I'll never agree to hide, Jake."

"Just hear me out, OK?"

I nodded, not liking this one bit. I didn't care what he said. I was going to be standing beside my family when the Volturi showed up, come Hell or high water. Snatching my hand back, I crossed my arms over my chest and waited.

"When the Volturi come here, the primary target is going to be you. I'm merely suggesting that we stash you in the house. We can lure them to the training field. If you're in the house in your parent's room, you can still see everything that's going on from there. I can send you my strength. Carlisle was right about it making me stronger than I am on my own. They won't be expecting an attack from us, and having my power as well as Nahuel on our side should be enough to do some major damage—enough to turn the tide in our favor. My point is that, if you aren't there, I can focus more on the actual fight. We all could. Otherwise—"

I couldn't believe he was actually saying this to me. But, at the same time, I knew he really meant it. "Are you saying I'm a liability here?"

He reached up to touch my cheek. "I'm saying if you're on that field with me when they get here, I won't be able to think about anything but protecting you, none of us will. We all know they're after you, Nessie. We won't be able to help worrying about you. They'll be able to use that lack of focus against us. They'd be fools not to."

I hated Jacob in that moment simply because I couldn't fault his logic. (But, that didn't mean I didn't try.) "I can hold my own, Jake. You saw me today at training. I'm good."

"Training is one thing. Real fighting is another. You've never had to deal with a situation like that before. If you can't hold on to your concentration in the heat of battle, Nessie, you'll put us both at risk. If you're safely tucked away and watching at a distance, that's all you'll have to focus on, maintaining the concentration with me. You'll still be a part of everything—an important part—but you'll also be safe."

I didn't say anything for a long time as I considered everything he'd said. What if he was right? What if I was the liability here? What if I became the reason one or more of my family died? Could I live with that? I didn't think I could. As grown as I was, in that moment, I felt like an average seven-year-old. Every instinct I had fought against his words, but that didn't make them any less true.

"But, if I could learn to hold my concentration better, if I could learn how to send you my strength—"

"Those are a lot of ifs, darlin'. You've been trying for months, and you're no better at sending today than you were when we first started."

"But Carlisle said he could run tests. He could find out what's holding me back. He could, Jacob. Then, I'd be able to fight with you all. I'd be an asset instead of a liability."

He shook his head. "You're still just seven-years-old, Nessie, and I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure you make it to eight and beyond."

"I'm not a child. We've talked about this before. You agreed you didn't see me that way, that I should be included in the plans, in everything. Was it all a lie? Just something you said to end the argument between us?" I scooted back from him, more confused and furious than I could ever remember being in my life.

"I've never lied to you. Even if I wanted to, the imprinting wouldn't allow it. You're not a child, Nessie. I agree with you. But you are seven-years-old. There's no denying that. There are millions of things you haven't experienced, a thousand more lessons you have yet to learn. I want to make sure you're around to experience those things, to learn those lessons."

I stood up, needing to put more distance between us. "You're my boyfriend, Jacob, not my father."

He got to his feet, too. "I'm your protector, Nessie, first and foremost. Always have been. That, more than anything else, is why I was put on this earth. I'm in love with you, yes, and I want you to have a choice in this. You're grown and have a right to a choice. But, at the same time, if it comes down to you having a choice or you being safe, I'll sacrifice everything to keep you from harm—even if it means you hate me, even if it means my death."

I just stood there staring at him for the longest time. The connection between us buzzed so much it almost burned my insides. I knew he was right, but I couldn't acknowledge any of that now. I just wanted to be away from him so I could think. Since the day I'd found out about the imprinting, I hadn't felt more trapped, more like a character in someone else's play. Knowing Jacob was in much the same condition didn't make me feel better. We all had our roles to play here. He was merely performing his duties, the same duties he'd been doing all my life. The fact that we'd fallen in love didn't matter when it came to this. In that same vein, I had a part to play as well. As much as it galled my pride, maybe it was time to accept my limitations here, especially if it saved even one member of my family from death. Maybe I could do more good by allowing myself to be placed away from the fight.

"Nessie," he murmured as he reached for me, no doubt feeling my anger, confusion, and hurt.

I stepped out of his grasp. "I can't be around you right now. If I'm going to make a choice, then I need to think. I've heard you, and I'll consider what you've said. That's all I can promise tonight."

He nodded solemnly, but said nothing more. I walked around him and started blowing out and collecting candles. Jake helped. Once all the supplies were gathered and repacked, we retraced our path back to the house. We had just stepped up onto the porch when he suddenly turned to me.

"I do love you, Renesmee Cullen. Never doubt that. You've been a burst of daylight in a neverending life of darkness."

A tear fell from my eye as I looked at him. That was the most beautifully poetic thing I'd ever heard him say. "I love you, too, Jacob Black. Nothing and no one will ever change that."

He leaned down to kiss me just as the front door swung open. It was Emmett.

"I was just coming to get you both," he said.

Before I could respond, my eyes caught on what was going on behind him. In the living room, an obviously distraught Alice was encircled by Rosalie, Jasper, Esme and Mom. They all seemed to be comforting her. Carlisle and Dad stood off to the side, furiously whispering to each other.

"What's happened?" I asked, not sure I truly wanted to hear the answer.

Emmett's voice was monotone as he replied, "It's the Volturi. They're coming."