The Lies People Tell

I was glad Andy was coming to see us. Now that I knew that a tiny human being was growing inside of me I really wanted to see my sister. Even though she had never had a child I knew that seeing her would make me feel better.

Of course, there was a certain anxiety surrounding them coming. There seemed to be a certain anxiety about everything since the de Chagny's came barging into our lives.

Leo was Parisian born, and of course he knew a great deal about his native country. It was the same risk Erik had once taken; what if Leo started asking Raoul and Christine about things in Paris they should know about? The current government, the new entrance to the Louvre, last year's soccer or 'football' scores; anything about post 1883 France and we would have some explaining to do.

I did feel a bit bad that we were lying to Andy and Leo, not to mention everyone else, about Raoul and Christine. But what choice did we have? The truth was unbelievable.

It had actually rained earlier that day. Rain was not something that happened often in San Diego; in fact it hardly happened at all. Of course, this meant that all driving skills went out the window.

Andy and Leo knew well enough how to drive in the rain; every other day in upstate New York there is a monsoon and Paris is not exactly the Sahara. They had started the driver down the day before and stopped mid way for the night. As I understood they were using the trip down to see us as a vacation of their own.

Even though my sister and her husband knew how to drive, no one else seemed to. Andy had called me from the road; they were stuck in slow moving traffic.

The extra time gave me extra time to get read; and to talk Christine out of the mismatched out fit she had put on. It was amazing really; all the clothes I had let her borrow and she managed to make Bottega Veneta look like Betsy Johnson.

Erik and I went down to the lobby to meet Andy and Leo. Erik was finished with his meetings for the day and he could not have been happier.

"Very few of them have anything of note to say at all," He complained as we stood by the front doors. "They go on and on about problems to which the solution is really quite simple! It's maddening!"

I laughed, "Erik you're too clever for us mere mortals; how do you put up with me and not get bored to tears?"

"Nonsense darling," Erik put his arm around my shoulders, "I could never get bored with your chatter about shoes and clothes,"

"Is that really all I talk about?"

"No; handbags sometimes find there way into the conversation,"

"Am I really that bad?"

"Of course not," Erik leaned over to give me a quick peck on the lips, "I wish I could spend all of these days with you and not those architects,"

It wasn't long before Leo and Andy came through the front doors.

"Liv!" My sister shirked, causing quite a few people to stop and stare, "Oh my God you look so thin! You couldn't possibly be pregnant!"

I figured that since my days with a waist were now numbered I should enjoy it while I still had it. I was wearing my Just Cavalli Skinny Jeans and a Chanel blouse.

I shook my head as I embraced her, "I plan on showing off my figure while I still have one. Leo! How are you? How was the drive?" I moved on to hug Leo, who then shook hands with Erik.

"The drive was hideous!" Andy took my hand and we headed across that grand lobby to the gold elevator doors. We left Erik and Leo to carry the bags they had brought down from San Francisco.

"I swear you get one inch of rain and all of southern California drives like drunken teenagers,"

I laughed and pushed the up button for the elevator.

Andy and I chatted excitedly all the way up to our room while our husbands dragged the luggage Andy had packed. She was just like me; if she was going away for a week she packed enough clothes for a month.

"Oh this room is beautiful," Andy looked around our suite, "And it's huge! I was worried we would be cramping you two by staying here but I can see you won't even be able to find us in here!"

"I know. The bathroom alone is bigger than my first apartment in the city," I laughed and Andy zoomed off to look at the bathroom.

"Forgive her," Leo sighed, turning to Erik, "She has never seen a bathroom before,"

Once everyone was settled down and Andy and Leo had glasses of wine in their hands Erik left to go and bring the de Chagny's to the room.

"Now remember; don't say anything stupid," Erik warned the two of them out in the hall.

"We won't," Christine reassured him. But Erik wasn't very assured.

"Just try not to mention the unbelievable fact that you aren't even supposed to be in this century; and they think you and I," Erik motioned to Raoul, "Are half brothers; and we share a mother, remember that this time,"

"You know we don't look anything alike,"

"That's not really important,"

"I think that it is. You should color your hair. I think it is turning gray anyway,"

"I think you should cut your hair; you look like a woman," Erik hissed as he opened the door to our room. They may not look alike, he thought, but they did fight like brothers would.

Erik felt surreal as he introduced Andy and Leo to Raoul and Christine de Chagny. These we two completely separate parts of his life which he had never expected to collide. Yet here it was; fop meeting former best man Leo, soprano meeting sister in law Andy.

The awkwardness of the situation was palpable. Leo and Andy didn't know anything about Erik's 'half brother' and weren't sure of the family situation. Christine and Raoul were not sure what to say that wouldn't make them sound foolish. Erik and I were just waiting for everything to go up in smoke.

"So…how are you two enjoying San Diego?" Andy broke the silence.

"Very much," Christine said immediately. Andy waited for her to say more but that was all Christine could think of. She bit her tongue and refrained from saying, "I've never seen so many cars before!"

"Is…is this your first trip to the states?" Leo asked the two of them. He had switched over to their native French tongue.

Hearing their own language made the two de Chagny's more at ease, "Yes it is," Raoul found his voice, "It's a beautiful country,"

"Yes, yes, but it is nothing like France no?" Leo laughed.

"Oh no! It is quite different," Christine smiled sweetly at Leo. I knew that she would by happiest to hear French; her English was still not so good.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Erik interjected, drinking his red wine to gain the courage it would take to get through the next couple of days.

This started a whole conversation about French verses American cities.

Beside me Andy squeezed my arm, "How old is she?" She whispered in my ear, nodding toward Christine.

"Twenty three," I muttered back, one ear still on the conversation; "American cities are quite hideous in my opinion," "Well that depends on what city you are looking at,"

"God! She's a baby," Andy whispered back. I smiled; I knew that Andy would be just as annoyed with Christine and her young, immature personality as I had been.

After everyone who wasn't pregnant, meaning everyone but me, had finished their drinks we headed off to the restaurant we had picked for dinner. Andy and Leo had been there a few times when they had visited the city and it was one of their favorite spots.

The Marine Room was a four star restaurant specializing in French cuisine near La Jolla. The place was very busy; always a good sign. We were led to a table with a beautiful view; one wall of the restaurant was made up of windows which looked out onto the ocean. The rain from before had cleared and the sun was just beginning to go down.

"This place is beautiful," I said as we sat down.

"Yes, and they have amazing food. It's very true to its French roots; almost as good as home," Leo nodded at Raoul and Erik as he opened his menu.

Our drink orders were taken by a waiter with a very thick, very fake French accent. I received a funny look when I ordered a Diet Coke instead of the amazing wines everyone else was getting.

Now that everyone, except me, had a few drinks in them the mood was much lighter. Leo and Andy were telling us about their latest trip to Italy where they had nearly been run down my mopeds.

I saw Erik glance at Raoul when Leo mentioned the mopeds. I knew it was a warning for Raoul not to ask Leo what a moped was.

"Now I remember you! You were in those wedding pictures! You were the best man weren't you?" Raoul had gotten comfortable enough around Andy and Leo now and he was less cautious.

Leo looked down at his plate and then over at Andy, not sure what to say. I bit my lip; of course this would be an awkward topic. Or at least, Andy and Leo would think it was.

They had no way of knowing that the reason Erik had asked Leo to be his best man instead of his own brother was because Raoul wasn't even in this century at the time…or that Raoul wasn't even his real brother.

This thought suddenly occurred to Raoul and he looked down as well.

Erik cleared his throat, "Oh well Raoul couldn't come anyway; he was still…" Erik clearly hadn't thought his lie through.

"He was still at sea," I said quickly, "He was in the Navy,"

"Yes, that's right," Raoul added quickly, "I could not come because I was in the Navy,"

Erik surpassed a rather wicked smile as a picture of Raoul as one of the Village People came into his head. Thanks to the countless clip shows and other programs, mostly on VH1, which celebrated the oddities of our past, Erik was aware of all the strangeness created in the 60's, 70's, 80's, and 90's.

Erik glanced at me and I knew exactly what he was thinking. I had the same thought in my own head. It was proof that we knew each other so well. Once he looked at me it became impossible to keep the smiles off out faces.

"What?" Raoul knew that he had missed something, "What is so amusing?"

"Nothing," Erik said quickly, but the image of the fop that annoyed him in a Native American headdress was too strong. He couldn't help but laugh a bit.

"Really what is it? All I said was that I was in the Navy," Raoul asked so innocently it made the whole thing even more amusing.

Erik couldn't respond. He knew that if he opened his mouth all that would come out would be a gale of laughter.

"What? What is so funny about saying I was in the Navy?"

After Raoul had repeated that fatal lyric 'in the Navy,' a third time Andy and Leo had realized why Erik looked as though he was about to explode from suppressed laughter. They began to smile as well.

"Alright do I have something on my shirt?" Raoul looked down and then turned to his wife. She was just as ignorant as her husband and she stared perplexedly at the rest of us.

"No, no it's not that," I managed to squeak. That was all I could say however. A fresh image of Raoul dressed as a cowboy dancing around hit me and I had to grab Erik's shoulder for support.

"What is so damn funny?" Raoul was getting angry now and he demanded an explanation, "All I saw was that I was in the Navy!"

That was the last nail in the coffin. Erik broke down and laughed and I couldn't help but do the same. Leo displayed the most restraint and limited his mirth to a very wide grin and Andy politely hid her laughter by raising her napkin to her mouth.

"That song," Andy explained at last, "You know, by the Village People? In the Navy?"

Raoul looked blankly at Erik and then at me.

"You know, in the Navy," Andy began in a sing song voice.

"Oh God," Leo looked away, taking a drink from his wine glass. Unfortunately Andy had caught the singing bug in high school and had never lost it.

There we were, in the swanky Marine Room and here was my sister, singing a rousing verse from a tacky song by the Village People.

Raoul and Christine stared uncomprehendingly at Andy once she was finished.

"You don't know that song? Where have you been living?" Andy laughed and whipped a tear away from her eyes. She had made her self cry she found all this so amusing.

Realizing this line of conversation would lead no where good Erik quickly changed the subject, "He never liked American music that's all," He lied hastily, "Growing up he never listened to it,"

"I bet you two were so cute as kids," Andy looked from Raoul to Erik, "Probably a hand full though,"

The conversation moved on to little white lies about their 'childhood.' I kept expecting Raoul to say Erik had wet the bed until he was nine, or for Erik to say that Raoul used to dress up like a girl and hold tea parties for his stuffed animals.

None of this ever came up though. I wondered if the two men were beyond going for each other's jugular. Or maybe they were just putting on the mask of congeniality in front of Andy and Leo.