Thank you all for your patience with me. I promise things will be back to normal this week, sent the next 3 chapters to my beta and ill update them when I get them back. Huge thank you to Jess for all her work, I know you've had the last few chapters 'off' since I haven't been updating usual times but you stuck with me so thank you. And of course a massive thank you to my readers. I love you guys!

Things are also going to start getting exciting in my story now :) Just note, the start of this chapter took place the night before the breakfast with Renesmee, Chantelle, Eddie etc.

Chapter 35: Midnight bonfire talks

CHANTELLE'S POV

Being out of the house felt strange. I hadn't really brought myself to get out much since what happened with Alex, I was scared that maybe he'd hurt me again. I knew this was irrational. I had seen my father and uncles tear him apart but there was still that insecurity inside me, if he could hurt me maybe someone else could.

One night I was lying on my bed in my room, I heard him approach my room before he knocked.

"Come in," I told him. Pancrazio smiled as he entered. He closed the door and came to sit on the edge of my bed.

"When are you going to leave this house?" he asked. I looked up at him and shrugged.

"When I feel safe again," I told him.

"Why don't you feel safe?" he asked.

"I feel safe now; I'm in a house full of vampires. I just don't feel safe on my own," I admitted. I looked away from his face to the opposite wall, there was a picture hanging there of Renesmee and me when I was about 5 years old, she was around 9.

"Why don't you feel safe on your own?" he asked.

"Alex," I whispered his name so quietly I wasn't sure he had heard it. I heard him sigh gently, I felt him move to sit next to me on my bed.

"He's dead," he reminded me.

"I know."

"So why are you scared of him?"

"Because there could be others like him," I admitted.

"All you need to do is tell him to go away and he will."

"I know but what if there are others like that man that could stop my power? What if I'm completely useless and alone and someone hurts me," I threated.

"Chanti…" he sighed; he adjusted himself to look at me. "Everyday girls go out alone. There is always that threat that someone is going to hurt you but you need to realise that that's not going to happen to you again. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you like that again. If I have to spend the rest of my life protecting you, I will. Plus, you're special," he said with a smile. "You can protect yourself better than anyone else." He assured me.

"How do you do that?" I asked him. His face dropped in confusion.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Make me feel better," I said. His lips twitched into a smile.

"I'm special too," he grinned. I laughed at him as he sat back next to me. "I'm glad I make you feel better," he said.

"You make me feel safe too," I told him. He didn't reply, I just saw the smile on his face. I let out a sigh and moved to rest my head on his shoulder. His right arm moved behind my back. "Will you come out with me tomorrow?" I asked.

"Where to?"

"I don't know, anywhere. Seattle, Port Angeles, I don't care."

"Sure," he whispered his reply.

The next day after being embarrassed by my dad, Pancrazio and I spent the day in La Push. We saw Nessie and Jacob around but only really spoke to them once. They were telling all the wolves about her pregnancy and she said they were having a bonfire later that we could go to if we wanted.

It was very late at night and everyone was congregated on the beach, there was a giant bonfire blazing and tonnes of people laughing and talking. Pancrazio and I made our way a couple of yards north so we could be alone. We sat down on the sand and watched the sunset.

"Do you feel safe now?" he asked.

"Yes," I admitted. I always felt safe with him.

"Good." He answered; I felt his warm hand take mine. I welcomed the feeling of his touch.

"Are you going to start school with me?" I asked him.

"No not this year." He replied.

"Why not?" I pouted. He chuckled slightly.

"I'm not ready yet," he replied in a whisper.

"Ok."

"I'm sorry."

"I forgive you," I said honestly. His hand tightened around mine briefly.

"Are you nervous?" he asked.

"About what? School?"

"Yeah."

"A little. It's going to be weird not going in with my friends." I looked too old to pass as a freshman now so I was skipping a few grades and entering what would have been Renesmee's grade.

"I'm sure you'll make new ones very quickly." He mentioned. "You have a way of making people like you."

"I get that from my birth father I think and maybe Rosalie," I laughed. He smiled at me.

"Probably, Rosalie does like the attention."

"If you're not going to start school with me can you at least go to a party with me?" I asked looking down at our entwined hands.

"A party?" he asked.

"Yeah… it's my friend's birthday and it's probably going to be the last time I see them for a while since I'm not starting high school with them," I said slowly.

"Yeah ill go… but what exactly do we do there?" he asked, I let out a chuckle.

"You know, socialise, dance, have fun." I said with a giggle.

"Dance?" he asked, his face looked horrified. I smiled at him.

"Its not that hard you know. And you don't have to dance if you don't want to," I told him. His face relaxed.

"I don't dance," he told me.

"That's ok," I said with a laugh. I moved my head back to rest on his shoulder.

We didn't talk for a while after that, I was enjoying the moment.

"Out of the couples in our family do you see any as your parents?" I asked in the silence, we could just hear the faint chattering of the guests at the bonfire. I always wondered if he favoured a couple in our family more than others so I decided to bring it up, I knew it was a random question but Pancrazio was used to my random thoughts now.

"I used to see Bella as my mother. Not so much anymore but when I was a child and I first met your family I adored Bella because I knew she could have been my mother, my mother could have survived like Bella did. I didn't hate myself as much when I saw her because I realised that it was my father that killed my mother not me. Before I met you all, I did as my father said, I knew I was evil, I was created for evil, and I was created to destroy others-"

I went to interrupt him but he cut me off.

"Let me finish… When I met Bella and my father asked me to destroy her shield I watched her fall to the ground. I watched her son wrap her up in his arms and watched his face as he stared at his mother in pain. I instantly regretted it. I was hurting someone's mother, someone who could have easily have been my mother. I watched Eddie's concern for Bella and it was actually that point that I stopped trying to hurt her. I kept the pressure on so it seemed Bella was in pain but I had no plan what so ever to destroy her ability as my father wished. I allowed Bella to fight back. Of course I didn't realise that Eddie was going to combine his power with Bella's and nearly kill me but when I was lying on the floor practically dead I was glad, glad that I hadn't destroyed the family my father so desperately wanted dead. It was that day on that I realised who and what my father was. He was evil, hidden beneath his charm and little compassion he had… he was evil." He finished before he paused. "And in answer to your question, at first I saw Bella and Edward as my parents, or as close to parents as they could be. Then it was mostly Jasper and Alice. Bella and Edward had too much to deal with with Eddie and Renesmee, they couldn't give me as much attention as they were giving their real children, I didn't mind, I just distanced myself away from them so they didn't feel pressured into being my parents. Jasper and Alice were always happy to spend time with me and Jasper has taught me a lot. I really do wish that he had been my true father."

"I thought so," I answered. "Did you ever find anything out about your birth mother?" I asked.

"Only her name and the fact she was very beautiful and was very persuasive. I guess that's how I got the ability to destroy others power."

"What was her name?" I whispered.

"Sophia," he answered sadly.

"I like that name," I told him.

"So do I," he replied, his voice quiet and distant.

"I wonder if she'll ever come and see you," I said remembering when I met my birth mother in my dream.

"I don't think she will."

"Why not?"

"I was the worst thing that happened to her."

"I don't agree," I argued.

"My father raped her and kept her in a dungeon with little food and water for a month. I put her through an incredible amount of pain. I'm pretty sure she hates me."

"I disagree," I whispered. I moved so I was kneeling facing him instead of next to him. I could see his face. "I think that she would be proud of you. You are still her son. It doesn't matter who your father is you were still her son. I think she loved you, just like my mother loved me, just like Bella loved Renesmee. We all killed our mothers but not one of them tried to get rid of us. They all loved us. I think that your mother would be very proud of who you are. You didn't turn out like your father; even though you were raised and taught his ways you saw the wrong and you corrected yourself. You didn't kill Bella, you never hurt us. You chose us over your own family and you chose good over evil. Your mother would be more than just proud. I'm sure she's looking down on you and maybe even me now and smiling because there is no way that she hates you." I told him sternly. I felt a lump rising in my throat. I couldn't justify why anyone would hate this man. He was good. He had the worst childhood and yet he was good. He smiled at me and sat up to face me. He was centimetres away from me and I knew if I moved an inch forward our lips would touch. Was it wrong that I wanted to kiss him? I had never felt like this for anyone, and definitely not Alex.

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked. I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Do you like me?" he asked. In either context the right answer was yes.

"Yes," I said, my eyes fell to his lips.

"I like you too," he said and smiled. I smiled back.

"You've liked me since you were 8," I grinned, it was clear he had a crush on me as a child; he's always had a crush on me. It had only been recently that I started returning the feelings. He was a man now, literally, he even had a little facial hair growing, he was certainly not the 8 year old boy that came to live with us over a year ago. I debated about leaning in to kiss him; I wanted so much just to feel him close to me.

"Chantelle!" I heard someone call. I pulled away from Pancrazio immediately. "Oh sorry…" Nessie trailed off. "Ill just…" she said turning back.

"No Nessie what's up?" I asked her. She turned around looking awkward.

"I er… I was just telling you that Jacob and I are going to head home now" she said her eyes flickering between Pancrazio and I.

"Ok," I said standing up. I brushed the sand from my body and started to walk over to Renesmee, Pancrazio followed and we caught up to Jacob to walk home.

I felt a strong longing as I walked next to Pancrazio and I knew I was ready to admit my feelings for him I was just scared at how it would change everything.