A.N.: Here we go! Now, I know the turn this chapter takes might puzzle some people, but I'll put this out there: I never liked the idea of Naruto/Sasuke having an intertwined fate. Sure, it explained some things, but I felt that it was a cheap way to explain why they still cared so much. You'll see what I mean soon. And obviously, the title goes after Spirited Away's "Always with Me". Hopefully the first person POV will be interesting.
Barebones - Interlude Chapter IV: Always with Me
To withstand the hunger of time... It has to be strong, this love we have.
Hunger. An insatiable desire to seek power, to take mortal beings beyond their physical limitations, their psychological barriers and emotional bonds; making them daring enough to break the horizon of their worlds… into different realms. Different worlds. Forever chasing after something more, something greater, to better themselves.
"Isn't that adorable? You inherited the thirst for strength that drove your ancestors to tear whole universes apart! You're special, Sasuke-kun!" You're a monster. But she doesn't say that. It's merely an implication within her words, poison that she fills them with. She does it graciously, nonchalantly - as if it was just something of general knowledge that doesn't need to be said aloud.
It's insulting, and she knows.
It's the truth - my destiny was always written before me. Since I was born, and when everyone died. I didn't know how far back it went: thousands of years and lives, one reincarnation after another… tangled in a fight of power and hatred. Neither side could win, and though we both inherited the wish to achieve peace, our methods differed greatly.
In the end, we weren't so different: Naruto and I both wanted to be the strongest, to make our dreams come true. That's all it's always reduced to, and no human can truly deny that they don't wish their egocentric wishes to become reality. Whether it's to help others or enslave them, they all are lead by the same principle.
"You're no different, you know?" Sakura comments, rolling her eyes. I give her a pointed look, because it is rather unnecessary of her to say it aloud. She snorts.
I already know. And I don't care - humanity isn't capable of ruling itself. Wills clash, and no soul is strong enough to rise above all others and impose one universal truth. No one but me. It's my duty, as the one who holds enough power, to put a stop to this madness.
…
Reincarnation. A chance to live again, a soul's wish to take form and shape the world. Spirits are timeless, which means they cannot alter anything, as time is change. Souls are much older than anything humanity knows, predating civilization and life - they are the representation of existence, the will to make form out of void.
Everything is constantly changing, yet in the flow of time there are places where the energy pools and spins, remaining stuck. Souls are made of this pooled energy, resonant colors melding together into a concept - a name, an idea. And they prevail: their sole purpose is to withstand the erosion of time.
They are a contradiction to the idea that nothing ever stays the same - and even if they change and evolve, because nothing can truly escape time, their core concept remains, through eons and dimensions; life and death.
Eventually, they created more complex vessels, capable of harnessing the power of souls and utilising it to shape the world. Thus, humanity was born.
...The scroll continues on a rant about spirituality. I skim through the characters quickly, but my mind has already moved on to different matters. There is something overwhelming when I think about the concept of my own will, imprinted onto different bodies throughout many lifetimes. And, like an echo, Indra's soul will reverberate through eternity…
I'm only an inflection of a greater being. Even my wish for power comes from an instinct, bred in the Ōtsutsuki, a race who didn't belong to Earth; people who were always chasing said power. My hatred doesn't even belong to me. I only have the duties passed onto me. I was born for this - and there is no escaping destiny.
"Quit the pessimistic yapping, will you? You sound like Neji," the clone protests, holding her head as if she had a headache. What does she know of the grand scale of things? She's only a shard of a completely human soul - Sakura and I belong to entirely different worlds, even if centuries of dilution have made me more human than not.
Was her soul there, when Asura and Indra were alive? Has she been trailing after us, life after life? Or is she just someone new to the equation, someone insignificant in comparison to our roots, our history?
"You fucking idiot, you've fallen in love during countless lifetimes, and you still question whether humanity is worth your interest."
I can't help looking at her quizzically, because what would she know?
"Did you miss the whole 'I have a connection to the innermost recesses of your soul' part of my existence? You allowed it to happen. I can see things you wouldn't be aware of even if you lived a thousand years." She responds, before I have the opportunity to think about asking. The clone mumbles something that I assume is an insult, but now I'm intrigued.
She seems to consider it for a moment, looking at me as if trying to find a worthy reason to heed my wish. It is still rather strange, to see myself under Sakura Haruno's evaluating gaze - it feels out of place to see anything but love in her eyes. Instead of a welcoming embrace, her scrutinous eyes seem to weigh whether I deserve it.
...I suppose she has a point. I've failed too many times, and she has defeated me every time I tried to fight back. It doesn't matter how good I am - it seemingly will never be enough.
"Oh, please, stop, I'll talk!" she whines, crying out as if she were in pain. Even knowing it's her, I nearly flinch - that was unexpected. She smiles sweetly, and then clears her throat theatrically, conveniently exposing the marks on her neck.
I should have gotten used to it by now, but I haven't. However, I know better than to look somewhere else.
"Your great race of creepy, power-hungry aliens was always kind of retarded in the love department, for all the knowledge they held. In particular, they were fascinated by humanity's capability to care for another, or for things that weren't themselves, so deeply - Kaguya Ōtsutsuki, impressionable little fool, was the first one to understand the grief of a world torn by war."
At times, her voice becomes deeper, wavering as if spoken from underneath the water. The office starts to fade out of existence, replaced by blurry shapes made of dark crimson. Past the screams of others, that never really go away, it almost feels like I'm in a whole different world. However, I still hear her sigh.
"Your clan was… innocent. Even though they shared humanity's thirst for infinite knowledge and strength, their true goal was immortality - not to dominate one another. They adapted and learned, just like us… they had spent a long time seeking different sources of power, so they were used to it."
Her eyes have a strange glint to them, almost glazed over, and as always I wonder what thoughts course her mind. If Sakura was a bit of a puzzle, her clone isn't any better.
"They learned from us… even things we didn't want to teach them, or hadn't thought about. Like children, even though they were much beyond our wisdom and technology… they gained our virtues, and our vices. Strengths and weaknesses - love and hate." She takes a deep breath, and then shakes her head slightly, as if trying to cast away bad thoughts. "Kaguya fell in love with us, with one man in particular… yet she too succumbed to our curse."
Only her silhouette remains bright, against the darkening colors of a dusk long past. It seems oddly out of place, a reminder that my surroundings are just an illusion. I tried… and neither the Sharingan, nor the Rinnegan, were capable of breaking them. They aren't genjutsu - only a reflection of my own mind.
"...My ancestor fell in love too, didn't he?" It's not necessary to ask, but she seems to have lost herself in her own ruminations. A rather strange sight, as she is always prepared to deal with anything and everything - her sole existence is a constant fight against me. Her eyes flicker to my own, and I know I've hit bullseye. "And it was you."
It's her turn to suppress a flinch - and it's bizarre to see this type of body language on her. While her open expression of emotions hasn't changed since the doppelgänger took shape, she was never unguarded. Always fighting, angry, willing to tear me apart. This reminds me more of the real Sakura, the one I haven't truly seen in over a year.
She looks vulnerable, but I don't press the advantage. It's not a sound idea, as it could be a trap - and she will likely recover, and punish me for it. I've had enough of trying to break her - in that regard, I'm starting to believe she is stronger than I am, and as strange as it sounds, it fills me with dread to consider that possibility.
"...Like moths to a flame. Humans were always fascinated by those like you, and I wasn't an exception," she mutters, at last. She tilts her head to the side, looking at me as if I was someone different. Someone she doesn't hate to death. "You didn't need any protection or help… no, you were much stronger than any human. But your heart had become weak, and your curiosity made you get too close."
And Sakura smiles, fondness and nostalgia covering a face whose expressions I can't remember seeing like this.
"Reincarnation, huh? We were drawn to each other - even through different lifetimes. I never gave up on you. I wouldn't even remember if not for the marks on your soul. You were closer to immortality, after all, so each time you were reborn, you kept more pieces intact than normal humans would. Without knowing why, you longed for finding home for your heart, even though your strength was unmatched. And without knowing why, I seeked a man that was as fascinating as the world itself, even though I couldn't remember his name."
...Her first name wasn't Sakura, and she wasn't a child of spring. She was born in the winter, and half of her family succumbed to famine by the time she was five.
Human souls were too weak to truly survive reincarnations, and some pitied them. Power, we thought, was truly a wonderful thing. But their emotions - the strength of their hearts. It left a mark on the world, one we couldn't understand. Their passion for love and war. Even if they couldn't remember their past lives (and our descendants would grow to forget, too, for the most part), they still retained emotions.
And she was a fascinating being - her emotions flowed so fluently, her spirit so great. She must have reincarnated many times, because even when she was an immature child, there was something about her eyes that spoke of intelligence and knowledge. Eyes that would, overtime, gain an edge of wisdom and compassion. She was an avid learner, and one of the first to understand chakra and learn to control it. It only made her empathy increase tenfold.
The scenes blur in front of my eyes, too fast to be consciously aware of it all, but their intensity only grows. And her image becomes clearer, nearer, brighter. It hurts, even though on the surface it doesn't look like her: there is nothing remarkable to her dark hair and scrawny figure, but her green eyes are the same.
The clone has been replaced by her figure, and I find myself frozen, lost in her gaze. Her smile is shy, as she never learned the courage that I have known her for. How long did it take to snap her out of acting more like a student, a friend, and less like a servant? How long, for her to finally hold a stare?
Those eyes were always intriguing, always brimming with emotions that I couldn't understand. She cared too much, about too many things. And despite the fact that she wasn't as powerful as me, she never gave up without a fight. She never abandoned someone she cared for - not even me, after I succumbed to the Curse of Hatred, getting lost in emotions too strong to express.
Over, and over, and over.
She chased me one lifetime after another, always there for me even though I was too blind to see it. And if I wasn't, I would soon focus on quests of revenge and power. But she never gave up.
She took bodies that were as far removed from my blood as it was possible - and her spirit only grew overtime. Premature genius, overflowing emotions, prowess with chakra that was unheard of. Almost always, she became a healer, as if Hagoromo's teachings hadn't vanished entirely from her mind.
She vowed to remain human, my logical counterpart. It had been a dare, the first time I got her to lash out in anger: humans are strong too! Even though they lacked our kekkei genkai (which gave us an edge, even if centuries of mixing had diluted it), our ancient roots that even drove us to seek more power by instinct (which few humans could truly match, even if we had lost the majority of our original traits).
I had become disillusioned with the sins of humanity, yet she vowed to show me their brightest side.
"Prove it," I say, once more, as I always have "Prove it to me."
...It's ironic. When I accepted her challenge, when she issued it, it was all a reiteration of the same story, told thousands of times.
But she could never do it, nor could I push her away. We danced through the same steps, life after life, unwilling to give up. She chased me without understanding why, the same way I couldn't forget her.
If not for the exceptional circumstances of the war, I would have lived my entire life without knowing about my own origins.
If the Oto-Konoha observatory hadn't detected the shift in the moon, I would never have found the scrolls that spoke about legends of a clan hidden in Earth's satellite - and mentioned, almost off-handedly, facts that would change everything.
"I will," she snaps, dragging me out of my reverie. Her hair is pink again, and the contours of an ancient castle have shifted back to my office. I blink a few times, to adjust to the light - I know a headache will be incoming, and the dizziness and nausea threaten to knock me off my balance. With the practice of a shinobi, I hold my ground.
The only thing I can't help is the torrent of emotion coursing through my veins - almost like a ray of light amidst the darkness, clashing so violently against the hatred that I feel ill. In itself, it doesn't feel like something evil or painful - it's its hidden meaning and connotations, now in plain view for me to perceive.
"...The fun thing is, she doesn't understand. That while your bond with Asura's incarnations is so strong, it doesn't share the mutual, human love that you and I developed for each other," the clone mutters, though her voice has lost its soft edge. Her eyes are hard again, and she seems to be amused by the terrible irony of it all. "She wonders, like you did, how could she ever compare. But she can't get the answers, so consider yourself a lucky bastard."
She could never kill me. She tried to, even if it was to spare me from the path I had taken. But I did, even though it was always by accident, or something in the spur of the moment. Time after time, I let myself drown in my own sins - and I did unspeakable things to her. Her spirit never broke. She never gave up, and died with a smile that has been burned in my memory.
Each one of my incarnations possessed the Sharingan, and each one of them would indubitably clash with Naruto's, which remained closer to his own branch of descendants. And there she was, always a commoner girl who was always so human, trying to save me - trying to save us, running in parallel to us in each of our lifetimes.
…
The deadlock was a three-way all along, even if it was easy to overlook the third piece. And the same notes would repeat, playing the same song: two rivals, and a lover. She could never match our unearthly power, but her strength was equal to ours, in her own very human way. Her courage, her very heart, was the representation of everything good and bad in this civilization.
She remained strong when I crumbled, and she always recovered after falling, unlike Naruto, who only ever learned love. She was our balance, our middle point - an anchor to both sides of humanity.
Her vow wasn't to be the greatest.
It was to prove humanity's unique brand of beauty - to prove they were worth loving, believing in, even admiring.
'Today has been a weird morning.' I massage my temples, trying to get every thought and image back into its righteous place, but I know it's a lost cause. Just like this feud has to be - Naruto is dead now, but when I die, we will meet again, and the cycle will repeat. It's too late, once more.
What will happen with Sakura, then? This doppelgänger (rightfully furious at me, tainted by my own corrupted soul) is only proof that her soul has been shattered. Does it mean she won't reincarnate? That, when she dies, she will be gone?
The thought awakens the memories of a thousand lives I can't remember - the Sharingan can't picture the scenes, but the trauma of the emotions remains. The Uchiha's curse, to never be able to truly forget - to care too much, and fall into darkness too easily.
And it hurts in a way I can't fathom. Losing her, truly losing her forever. Even though I could barely bring myself to kill her (and failed), I succeeded in destroying her. Strings of thoughts flash before my eyes, but I can't grasp them anymore. It's too much - a feeling I know too well.
"You have to win," I muster, though I'm barely aware of the fact that the plea has escaped my lips. Sakura was never meant to fight me, she merely stood by my side, unconditionally - but I've broken the cycle.
The doppelgänger doesn't say anything, but she and I both know the truth.
If she doesn't defeat me, it's over. But how could she possibly change what has remained stagnant for so long?
"Oooi! Lee! Fiiiiight me!" I'm only slightly aware of how I drag out the syllables, almost as if I were drunk. In a way, I am a little drugged on power. It's a beautiful sensation - my body is working so fast, so flawlessly, that even the world seems slow and sluggish in comparison. I can do anything, and it's freeing and exhilarating.
I've spent too much time under the influence of the Ningyo, and as much as this burns every cell of my body, it feels wonderful.
Okay, maybe I am a little bit excited. It always happens whenever I manage to gather natural chakra, as small as the doses might be. My practice has extended throughout the summer, but I haven't gotten used to the rush of natural chakra. I don't think I want to - it's good to feel alive.
'You don't say,' mutters Sachi, rolling her eyes.
A meadow extends behind her, the silhouette of Konoha drawn against the cerulean veil of the summer sky. I remember when she was nothing more than a chalk-white drawing on a black background… how simple things were back then. I suppose she also became more lively with time.
So many things have changed since the war. I went from denial, to despair, to where I am now. Even after I accepted what happened, what Sasuke had become… it felt like too much. I'm a cripple now, but I know that if I give up, no one would be able to stop him. By some twist of fate, I ended up being the only one capable of affecting him on a deep level.
I wouldn't be able to run from this, even if I wanted to.
For some reason, he couldn't get rid of me. I don't know if it's because he still cares, but I'm not going to hope for a change of heart. I'm the one who has to move and make things happen now, and nothing is going to stop me from trying.
Lee abandons his running in a handstand to look at me, a determined and excited expression on his face. He always puts his all into every action, even sparring. I suppose the prosthesis that Katsuyu and I made for him only increased his juvenile energy.
'There's so many wood jokes I could make here,' points out Sachi, as perverted as usual, making me blush a little. I push the thoughts aside, focusing on Lee. Katsuyu and some of the other slugs helped me put together a replacement arm and leg for him - we still needed resources from Taki, and it's nowhere near what my shishou could have done back in Konoha, but they're functional.
He doesn't really need to expel chakra like ninjutsu and genjutsu users would, and the wood has been reinforced with sap to prevent burning. It feeds off his chakra like a normal limb would, and it's about as resilient as hardened steel, as I found out soon after fighting him for the first time. The only downside is that it doesn't have the chakra system of a living human, so it's a hindrance if he opens the Gates.
He's still working on his balance, but as he yells 'YOSH!' and rushes towards me, I know that I better be ready for it. Lee is a master of taijutsu, after all - even with a blindfold and his hands behind his back, he could be able to kick major butt. I fall into a stance that has been drilled in my brain by years of practice, and smirk at him knowingly.
Lee isn't oblivious to how much I enjoy being able to fight. He finally has a worthy, dedicated opponent. Tenten watches us from the edge of the clearing, her eyes hard but full of interest. It's a radiant day, and the end of summer is approaching, but the air is still warm and filled with lively scents.
If I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend I'm in Konoha once more. I know that, if I ever go back, it will be different. Sasuke destroyed the Hokage Mountain, and I know through my visions that the village has become rundown. A shadow of its former self, just like him and I.
I dodge the first hit by instinct, throwing my head to the side and letting Lee's arm sail over my shoulder. I put my weight into a sidestep, letting him pass me. Obviously, his reaction times are insanely good, because he doesn't miss a beat. A roundhouse kick comes for my legs less than half a second later, and I deflect it with an arm, trying to keep a little bit of distance.
A good thing about training with a shishou who throws boulders at her students, is that you tend to get rather skilled at dodging. Envisioning Shizune suffering in the same manner makes me feel only slightly better.
Lee doesn't land a hit for half a minute, and I put all of my energy into dodging. He's fast, but senjutsu gives me an edge I didn't have before. Would I be able to face him if he had the Gates open? I know Sasuke's speed is practically inhuman, so my own is what I need to work on.
Being in this state is like having fire coursing through my veins - and it hurts like hell. I can slow down the damage to my body with small bouts of healing chakra, but that doesn't soothe the pain. In fact, because of how corrosive senjutsu chakra is, healing with it is rather difficult. I suppose there has to be a tradeoff for the power I gain…
My reflexes are better than they've ever been, and with less chakra I can do more. However, I can feel my strength waning every second, and I haven't gotten the hang of recharging while in the middle of a fight yet. Gathering natural energy requires my own to be perfectly still, or else it will be repelled. Maybe it's like magnets… by irradiating senjutsu chakra, the natural one around me is pushed away. It's one of the thing sensors use to detect hidden threats.
The first hit Lee lands sends me tumbling through the ground, but I manage to stand on my feet and make them stick to the ground for support. The fight will be over soon, and I better end it on a win. I haven't spotted many openings on his stance, but his balance is still rather whacky, and he lacks control on the new limbs. A good hit that sends his centre of mass to the prosthetics, and I could gain the edge that I need.
Months ago, I was never able to win a fight, not even against him. My body was too sluggish under the strain of the Ningyo. It feels like it was so long ago…
Today, though, I want to try something different - nature transformations. Senjutsu chakra is too wild, but I will need that precision if I want to have a shot at defeating Sasuke.
It's important to remember that the strongest enemy can still make mistakes - and I will need as many chances as I can get to punish him for his, and survive my own.
I reach out with my chakra, to the ground under my feet. This area has been designated for training, so a little bit of destruction won't piss off the slugs. I channel the energy in strings, connecting it to the earth and weaving it between the molecules that hold it together, tightening my hold and separating the pieces I want to use.
I pull up a wall of earth in front of him, and he somersaults over it without missing a beat. I spread my arms, separating the wall into two pillars and launching one of them behind me, towards his predicted landing spot. It's much faster than my previous Earth Style movements, and it catches him off-guard.
He's still able to dodge the first pillar, but not the second one, as he doesn't have time to ready his stance. I press my advantage, and put as much chakra into a punch as I can. It's the last of my senjutsu chakra, and compressing it is akin to trying to hold a stormy sea to make still. It slides through my skin and the Ningyo much more easily than a normal hit would have, and I direct it towards Lee's prosthetic arm.
He flies through the air, skidding on the grass on his back, almost to the edge of the clearing. I feel drained as soon as the chakra leaves me, aching all over in places I only recently knew could hurt like this. Even as a medic, the strain of senjutsu is something else.
I have to push through. It's the only way.
I stop to regain my breath, my limbs trembling, and I resist the urge to hunch over. Instead, I focus my gaze on Lee - he hasn't gotten up yet, clearly regaining his own bearings. He can feel every bit of pain caused by disrupted chakra on the prosthesis, and a hit as hard as mine must have caused a jumble.
With a nod to each other, we dismiss the spar as finished.
It's not a win, but I know I can make it one in due time.
"The moon will crash into the Earth," I explain, knowing that no amount of fancy words will make the impact greater. "Iwagakure's new regime is getting ready for war, and we don't have enough loyal forces to defend the village from both threats at once."
The Clan Heads, plus the rather submissive Kazekage, stare in silence. What could they possibly say to news like these? They hold their gazes up with an air of severity, some of them exchanging calculating looks. I know some are still plotting a coup, but it doesn't matter - both they and I know they can't win.
In the past, this would be the moment to gather the strongest long-range fighters, or the ones with greatest raw power… but there's none of them now. I'm the only one capable of defending the village, but I can't remain here. Someone has to stop the falling of the moon, and in that case I truly am alone in having enough power to face its threats.
I can't divide my power, because as much as I would like to be confident, Sakura keeps reminding me that the fucking moon is falling on our heads. Now is not the time to think I'm strong enough to stop it, and there are no second chances. Typical ninja business.
Hanabi is gone. The anger I feel at having her slip between my fingers like that can't compare with the dread that her situation causes me. She has been here for so long… that, as Sakura helpfully pointed out, even I grew to care for her.
I have to go and deliver the revenge that is due. I have to protect this village and world, but I know I can't do both. Not alone.
I think about it for much longer than the meeting lasts - it's merely a formality to inform the village of it. They won't be left without care, but it would be impossible to prevent a complete disbanding without someone strong to hold them here...
Strangely enough, the clone doesn't protest when I resort to introspection once more, and try to find the thin traces of Sakura's chakra within mine.
It's never winter in Shikkotsu. The slugs are capable of manipulating the weather, through jutsu and careful modification of the vegetation, and even when the rest of the world is freezing, the skies remain clear and the temperatures warm. The air remains humid and fresh even though, by all accounts, there should be a never-ending drought.
The atmosphere feels charged with life, and it's quite baffling to think that, not long ago, I wasn't able to perceive an ounce of it. Much less manipulate the natural energy that hums all around me, cycling through the different forms of life. It's never a thing that can be dominated by power - rather, something that has to be welcomed into the body.
I suppress my signature slightly, letting it fill the empty space that my irradiated chakra had been occupying a moment ago. The trick is to understand that every living being has this chakra within themselves - they resonate, and one can affect the other. They are the same, just different shapes. Dragging it into myself, I start the slow process of blending it with what I already have.
The process lasts maybe a fraction of a second. I don't need more, and I'm already moving as I start to turn the chakra into something I can use. It's tricky, but the Ningyo has taught me to keep track of how much chakra I have, constantly.
Every movement I make is a precise calculation of how much there is in my reserves, how much more I can blend before I run out of my own chakra (using pure natural chakra would eat me from the inside out), and the amount I'm spending.
Every second of a fight has be teetering on the edge of my own capabilities.
I have practically learned Lee's style by heart, and Tenten's little tricks with the many weapons she hoards. I have spent entire days solely meditating, trying to understand the finer working of chakra and my own body. And I have studied, learned from Katsuyu and the slugs - techniques based on the Slug Style, that I can't even try to use without damaging my body.
I'm fast enough to fight against the first three Gates, and I have enough finesse in control to bend water and earth to my will like a second nature. My creativity and resistance with genjutsu has increased as well, because when fighting an Uchiha, no amount of genjutsu training is ever enough.
For once, I have a chance at breaking my old limits like I never could before. I can do something - senjutsu is incredibly efficient. My hits are almost as strong as they used to be, and I can heal faster. Time, however, is ticking: all of this is wearing out my body, despite the obvious improvements.
I can't practice forever, or give Sasuke the chance to get even stronger. It has already been two years since the war - almost as much as I spent training under Tsunade-shishou. It's enough time to overcome the majority of my new limits, even if my body and style have changed rather drastically.
Even this knowledge doesn't prepare me for the moment in which I collapse onto the ground, heaving, my entire body twitching with an overload of chakra. My surroundings blur out, the trees twisting and reshaping themselves into the ones back at Konoha. I don't need a double-take to know I'm in my own mindscape.
The only thing I can think of is expelling all of the extra chakra I had been gathering during my meditation, and praying that he's not here to kill me. He has to know as little as possible of my plans, because the advantage of surprise might be the only chance I have.
The force keeps growing steadily, until it feels like I'll burst. Then it stops, just on the verge of being unbearable. Every nerve in my body is firing up in agony, and the Ningyo can't possibly contain all of this.
"Step back! You're killing me!" I choke out the words as loudly as I can, and for an instant I fear he won't stop. It's definitely his signature chakra, invading my own space with an almost casual air. Nonchalant, unaware of how, if he pushes a little bit further, the Puppet Seal will rupture and I'll die.
He does move away, though. I breathe air that had been shut out of my lungs before, releasing a shuddering sigh and trying to focus on my surroundings. My head is pounding heavily, and my limbs feel frozen. It's awfully familiar to what the Ningyo used to be like, and I'm already angry at how easily affected I am.
There is a distant roar, a chorus of bells mixed with the well-known cries: the voices of the victims killed in his massacre scream for his blood. It takes a few seconds to locate the source of this chaos - a shadowy figure staying ten meters away from the edge of the forest. Way too close. It's merely instinct that causes my blood to run cold, my body to tense, my heartbeat to speed up.
As much as I care for him, he's dangerous and still an enemy. I block out the memories, instead focusing my energy on standing up. I can't show any weakness, but I would say his presence has already showed a fatal flaw.
Against what my fear is screaming at me to do, I force down the shivering and take a serene stance, stepping closer. Sasuke doesn't move an inch, but his eyes are fixed on my own. The idea of a greater power passing down judgement on me doesn't escape my awareness.
"The fuck you want?" I inquire rather harshly, and I realise belatedly that the pressure on my chakra might just have pushed Sachi closer to me. My soul has been compressed - and my Inner voice has folded back into me. I want to slap a hand over my mouth, but that wouldn't help the situation. I feel exhausted after pushing the senjutsu chakra out.
He couldn't have picked a better moment…
Sasuke raises an eyebrow and I feel my muscles twitch. Nope, nope, nop-
"Collaboration."
I blink a few times, trying to discern if this is a genjutsu. Or a prank. Yes, Sasuke pranking me seems almost more logical than what he just said. It has to be a joke, right? He's just humoring me before ending my life. No expression crosses his stoic face, and then it sinks in that he's as serious as always.
"You- WHAT?!" I explode, waving my hands in the air, as if that could help with understanding. Damn you, Sasuke Uchiha, why do you make no sense? Then the other eyebrow goes up in a fashion that seems almost amused (if this wasn't Sasuke we're talking about), and I realise I said that aloud. Or maybe he caught the thoughts, since we're so close.
Access to innermost thoughts, I remember. And I've been looking into his eyes, even though I know they're dangerous, purely to show I'm not cowering in his presence. Freaking hell, this is so not fair.
"The moon will crash into the earth if I don't stop it," he repeats - and then I realise I'm remembering him saying that before, even though I wasn't there. I already have a headache, and this isn't helping any. I catch an edge of uneasiness to him, despite the fact that his words have no inflection to them. That's right, he can't hide from me either. "I need capable shinobi to stay in the village and protect it while I'm gone."
Coming here for help must have taken a lot.
"I wouldn't care if you try to kill me, as long as you stay."
His mouth hasn't opened, but mine does when I hear the words. Now it's his turn to repress the urge to slap his mouth shut, I can tell he wants to. This is absolutely retarded, and as awkward as it gets. We're supposed to be enemies, yet here we are acting like complete fools. This is about as anti-climatic as a re-encounter goes. I can't help the snicker.
...Wait.
"What are you on about?" I inquire, realisation and disbelief properly sinking in. The moon? Why would the moon fall out of its orbit? Dread starts running under my skin, because there is no reason for him to lie about it. Sasuke has always been too blunt to deceive in that manner - and he has no need for a trap, after all. Unless there's some ulterior motive to get me to go to Konoha, but I doubt it. It doesn't seem like his style.
He doesn't look like he wants to explain, but he has to know I won't just accept it without asking questions. It's what I ought to do, as a suspicious shinobi and a curious person. It's true that he could probably try to force me to, yet it doesn't seem like it. He's just waiting, as if trying to figure out what to do.
Truth be told, he probably hadn't expected me to behave like this.
"There is a… man. Toneri Ōtsutsuki - a descendant of Hamura," he finally says, crossing his arms over his chest. "Apparently, that side of their clan has lived on the moon for a long time. He's the last one, and has deemed humanity worthy of a purge, for our weaponised use of chakra. He kidnapped Hanabi Hyūga, and is preparing to annihilate us all."
Damn, he's good. If I had to explain that… it would have taken hours. Obviously, a lot is missing, but it's enough to pique my interest.
"...He took Hanabi?" What's with you all creepy weirdos kidnapping her? That's the first thing I can think of, slightly surprised. Kurenai spoke of how a large amount of children from important families were kidnapped - and Sasuke's particular interest on the new Hyūga heiress. No one has been able to even figure out where the hostages are, even less get close to them. Hanabi herself was always next to him, so she was even harder to target. "Who could be strong enough to do that?"
His reaction is a mix of irritation at the reminder, and something awfully close to pride at being recognised as very damn strong. Nonetheless, he failed.
"He's good," he offers, frowning a bit harder. "That is why I can't divide my strength in order to protect the village."
"...And you expect me to be able to?" No, scratch that - he expects me to walk into his lair and help him with his tyranny, under the excuse of defending Konoha? The nerve of this guy! A vein starts thumping particularly strongly on my forehead, but I resist the urge to smack him. I appreciate being alive, thank you very much.
Sasuke gives me a look that almost makes me blush. Almost. It's a bit of condescension and 'yes, of course, why wouldn't I'.
He seems to do that a lot: he merely implies things without saying them. He knows I know about all the implications of this, all the connotations. It kind of amazes me, really. Communication without words at its finest, even though I'm sure we're incompatible in an impressive amount of levels.
"On two conditions." I spring up a finger, with an almost lecturing air, but nothing in his demeanor changes. I'll take that as a yes. "I want Lee and Tenten to come with me."
There is only the slightest surprise at the notion that they're alive. He seems to be remembering his 'fight' against Lee - and wondering how, if that didn't kill him, did he survive. I, on the other hand, look at this from a more pragmatic point of view: I want as much backup as I can get. I've learned the strength Lee gains while using the Gates, and Tenten has her own brand of techniques that could level mountains if used properly (she did learn to use explosives to max efficiency, after all).
There is no question to whether or not I'll accept, and Sasuke knows that too. A nagging voice in the back of my head considers, once more, how suicidal I'm willing to be for my village and, or, this guy. In case of things going awry, it should be possible to get my teammates out of his sight with a reverse summoning. I'm the only target he should care about… so if this is a way to drag me into the final stage of my challenge, so be it.
I'm not running, and as much as he might have changed it, Konoha is still my home. I don't know what happened to my parents, but I can't just abandon them.
Sasuke grunts in agreement, and seems to linger around for a few more seconds - waiting. What he and I expect, I'm not sure of. Until now, I was certain he hated humanity too much to defend them like this; and I didn't expect to meet him again in this manner.
"Our challenge will be on hold," I continue, trying to not make my nervous swallowing obvious. "I need your word that all of this is strictly in Konoha's defense, not a trap or an excuse to get me to fight you." I look into his eyes, uncertainty shoved to the back of my mind, because this is the moment of truth. If he's lying, it might be my only chance at knowing.
He doesn't slip, and his heartbeat doesn't speed up at all. The vibes I get off him don't indicate treachery of any kind, when he nods quietly. It's as good as it's gonna get. It might be foolish, but I can't abandon my village to the chance that he's not telling the truth.
"I will be waiting in Konoha," he says, after an uncomfortable amount of time. The words have an air of finality to them, and moments later he has turned around and left as swiftly as he appeared. The overwhelming pressure in the air disappears gradually, and I notice I've been staring after him for at least five minutes. Everything is quiet, now that he's gone.
"...What the hell just happened?" mumbles a voice to my left, and I turn to see Sachi. She seems to have a headache, too. I feel nauseous, sick - like something was squeezed inside me, and then torn away.
"I have no idea."
"You actually went and asked for help, after all you've done to her?" Our gazes lock, but I know my expression is devoid of emotion. There is nothing I can say - Sakura seemed like the best option I had, as I've seen her deliver punches capable of leveling mountains. I know that, during the war, she became a fearsome kunoichi in terms of strength.
Her heart was, and still is, too weak. But if she has retained a fraction of that power, she is the only one I can think of to defend the village. She has good analysation and strategy skills, and as Tsunade's apprentice, she should know about leadership.
She has tried to kill me in the past, but she could never truly betray me. I realised that only in hindsight, when I looked back at the moments that determined she had given up on me.
In truth, Sakura hadn't. Like me, she couldn't, nor did she want to.
"She isn't…!" the clone snaps, and then closes her mouth rather fast. She almost let out something that I shouldn't know. For once, however, I know what it is.
"I know she's maimed." The doppelgänger frowns, almost snarling at me - almost like she is about to do something brash. A sign of panic. "And that she has been training. I could feel it in her."
A fluidity to her movements, to her energy, that wasn't there before. Different, even, from the coiled power that she held during the war. There is an air of strong chakra to her, despite the fact that her reserves aren't as big as they used to be.
And I know that, in order to survive this long, Sakura must have overcome some of her old flaws - in order to reach this far, she must have pushed beyond her limits. Two years: I'm sure she has figured out how to get stronger by now.
The doppelgänger tried to hide it from me, most likely to throw me off; perhaps even to protect her. It was common logic, though, to figure out that Sakura has been doing something to give her the power she needs. The clone isn't perfect, after all.
But she doesn't miss a beat, unforgiving as always.
"You know, she probably still thinks you raped her."
What. She smiles, proud of herself, as surprise knocks my thoughts out of place. Why the hell would she think- why would I do that?
"...Oh. Right," the clone continues, checking her nails absentmindedly. "You know, the whole hating her enough to torture and try to destroy her. Something about a maniacal rampage and trying to push all of her buttons just because you felt like it. What's the difference, really?"
I can't think. She has successfully put pressure on the worst emotions, and in truth… she has a point. Why wouldn't I? Although I can remember every detail with painful accuracy, it's too overwhelming to remember what happened during the massacre clearly. I didn't, right? I wouldn't have…
"Look at you flail like a fish outta the water," she snickers, but even I can't muster anger at her. There is only confusion and an overwhelming sense of dread, to the point of pain. It's hard to breathe. "You're just another depraved human, dear. Of course you would have, you've done it in the past."
Orochimaru had experiments - I didn't see all of them, but I knew they were there. I labelled it as something bad people did. Something I wouldn't do, because I was merely gaining power for a just cause. But after Konoha's dirty secrets came up, and the person who was supposed to be a villain turned out to be a hero… everything shattered. It stopped mattering.
"Her demeanor, sweetheart. Defiant, yes, but filled with fear. Submissive by instinct," she goes on, snorting in mockery. "Did you see how she could barely look at you? How she flinched every time you moved, watching you like cornered prey? Almost as if someone had broken her in."
I'm not stranger to torture, particularly the psychological kind. However, there's something about this concept in particular that raises hell in its wake. Especially, or maybe because, it's Sakura. I can hardly think of something worse for her, except maybe the loss of Konoha as a community. Would there be anything worse I could do? Did I exploit this weakness?
I wouldn't have. I didn't.
I need to know, and I nearly dive recklessly into the maddening memories, before remembering that it was the doppelgänger who brought this up. Whether it's true or not: she just wants to cause me suffering. I can't risk losing my mind completely… but she knows that even rejecting the truth, it will poison my soul. She wants me to doubt myself, to debilitate me.
She's good, and at this point, I can't deny that she has a strong reason to hate me this much.
"This is madness." Kurenai's expression reflects her opinion rather well. If she thought I was determined before, she probably thinks I'm suicidal now. Either way, she doesn't do anything to stop me. Perhaps she knows that nothing will deter me from returning to Konoha.
"You'll need to collaborate to defend the village, or seek refuge elsewhere." Shibuki nods at my words, and I can already see plans of action forming in his mind. Takigakure is in good hands. I turn to Misho, who seems rather unhappy at the prospect of being left behind. However, there is no way I would risk bringing him with us. There is no need. Shikkotsu is not a place for him, either. "We'll be back."
Tenten and Lee were slightly worried about my blank-out during a mix of meditation and a sparring exercise, but they haven't said no, either. They will be coming with me, and hopefully the seals drawn on the skin will be enough to pull them to safety if needed be.
Using the slug's chakra network, moving from one end of a contract to the other merely requires the chakra for executing the technique… and someone capable of transforming natural chakra into something that won't kill humans.
After sorting out every issue and planning for the most likely possibilities, we depart. Katsuyu has stationed slugs all around the perimeter of Konoha (it's rather heartwarming for her to show care about the village), so it doesn't take much for us to find ourselves standing on familiar grounds.
It could still be a trap, and to be truthful, the prospect of meeting Sasuke makes my stomach churn with unease. Even if he doesn't mean to kill me, he is unstable. We will have to be on guard, ready for anything. Like good shinobi ought to, especially when going into enemy territory. Thinking of Konoha like that… it just doesn't feel right.
A patrol of shinobi with Oto headbands reaches us ten seconds after our landing. They don't say anything, escorting us towards the village.
A million thoughts flash through my mind: despair and pain, hope and determination. My vow to challenge Sasuke, even when we both knew I wasn't strong enough. Will he want to fight, after this mission? (If we even survive it). There is no turning back now. There never was, but seeing the deadline so close sends chills down my spine.
There will be no time for hesitation, for weakness or mistakes. I remember memories of a time long past, when things were easy and everything seemed so certain. The hell I had to get through, just to survive another day. Getting so close to being one of the strongest shinobi of all times… and then losing it all, at the whim of a madman.
A person I still care about, to the point of irrationality, and yet I'm supposed to fight him, probably to death. He's close, too close, and I want to curl up and wait for it to go away. I don't. As we approach the village through the main road, I take a deep breath and force myself to keep going.
This is it.
It takes a moment for me to realise that she never considered saying no as an option. Terrified and wary as she was, Sakura did not question whether she should help Konoha or not, despite the clear threat of a trap. It surprised me, throwing all my plans out of the window - her behavior was also bizarre, switching back and forth between bold and meek.
"It's not like you considered anyone else. Who was the first person that came to your mind, even though as far as you knew, she might still be broken and useless?" the clone inquires, bringing up a rather fair point, though it still fills me with unease. I have no way of truly knowing how strong Sakura is, and I have an inkling she isn't going to do a parade in front of me. She accepted, though, so she must have a plan or a way to deal with the threats.
That's all I can hope to hold onto. In truth, it's rather amusing - we've drawn each other close once more, despite the odds and circumstances. Without even thinking about it, she and I are dancing the steps towards the end of our song.
I can't make it any easier for her… it would go against all I stand for, and fought to achieve. An image of Itachi passes through my head, but I pay it no heed. I wait at the main gates, knowing (feeling) that she will be here soon. This is a challenge, a fight that we have carried through countless lifetimes.
"You mistake bonds for destiny, sweetie," the doppelgänger scolds, pursing her lips tightly. She stands next to me, unknown to the world, though I'm sure the few passing shinobi feel a shiver when they're near her. She might not be tangible, but she's there. "They're a thing you form, not something you're tied by."
I disagree. Our reincarnations have been chasing one another for a very long time, and none of them could ever break the cycle. Without knowing, we've been retracing the same steps, time after time. What could we possibly do to avoid this? We can't walk away from the other, especially not now.
Sakura is meant to fight me, and the only way the cycle will break is if I kill her - which, the clone kindly informed me, has happened way too many times. If I win, she will be a goner, but her failure is meant to happen. There is nothing I can do, but wait for her to make a move.
This is the only thing I can do to spite fate. Remain here, unmoving, and wait for her.
It's time.
A.N.: Yes, yes I did just do that. For the longest time I've wanted to point out how Sasuke is just as trapped in this situation as Sakura is. The whole fate spiel? Him grasping at straws, since he feels so powerless. He wasn't the only character I wanted to break, even though I did it in a different manner: he's trapped because he feels he can't do anything else. His situation is the opposite of Sakura (who wants to do something but physically can't); yet another parallel between the two. Not to say it's a meaningless reference, but that's the idea.
I know I didn't update last week, but it's because I got caught up with IRL stuff. Hence why I decided to make this chapter much, much longer (it's second in length, only a couple hundrded words behind Dance with Devils).
The Spanish translation will see a double update tomorrow c; I'm so full of hype, so close to the end of the story! It's been a wild ride, and I can't thank you enough for being with me through it :D
Cheerps!