Just a Friend

By the time they had returned to their table, Selina had largely regained her usual composure and Jim Kirk was beginning to wonder if the universe had decided to pay him back for all the bad karma he had accumulated with various women over the years. He had previously viewed that as Uhura's role in the cosmos, but since he'd come to accept (and even grudgingly appreciate) that she and Spock were together, maybe karma had decided to send reinforcements?

Certainly as they returned from selecting meals from the replicators, Uhura and Selina had fallen in together and looked thick as thieves. Considering what had sprung from their last collaboration, he could almost feel sorry for Spock. However, at the moment, Sorenson seemed to be the object of their deliberation. Poor guy. Kirk had felt a moment of anxiety after the way Selina had smiled when she saw him. But she'd reacted the same way to Spock who was clearly not in the 'romantic interest' category. Plus, while you couldn't quite call a giant redhead average-looking, he had a long face and angular features that, in Jim's opinion, more or less placed him in that category (certainly by comparison to Jim's own good looks). Between appearance and general manner, he figured Sorenson to be in that class of unfortunate guys who had 'just a friend' written all over them. That assessment appeared to be confirmed shortly after they had all resumed their seats.

Selina looked at 'Fafhrd', who was sitting across from her, with a faint smile. "I see you retain the beard."

"I got too used to it." He rubbed his chin and winked at her. "You know the rest."

She glanced heavenward. "I thought Nikki was going to make you shave it off."

He looked down with a self-effacing smile. "As it turns out, she wasn't all that interested in retaining me."

"I am sorry," Selina touched his arm sympathetically.

"Friendly terms, as usual." He shrugged. "Probably for the best. She was lousy at chess."

Selina cocked an eyebrow. "I would have been happy to play you, had I known you were here."

"I wasn't hiding," he said with a half-smile, "just staying a bit scarce."

"When I was told that Spock had had Eric, the Starfleet computer specialist, carry me to sickbay, I naturally assumed that it was Eric Collins." She stared pointedly at him and Spock. "I notice no one decided to disabuse me of that notion."

Sorenson rubbed his jaw. "Considering the last time, you can't really blame us, eh?"

Jim and Bones laughed. "Probably a good thing they wouldn't let you do it Jim," Bones drawled. "I have to patch you up enough as it is."

Jim frowned. "She wouldn't have hurt me."

Spock and Sorenson exchanged a look indicating that neither one of them would be inclined to wager on that proposition.

"I don't know about Erik," Uhura laughed. "But if she can deck Fafhrd, you wouldn't stand a chance."

Spock raised a questioning eyebrow at Sorenson, who shrugged and turned his hands palms upward.

"So maybe I'm the only here who doesn't know this, but who or what exactly is Fafhrd?" Bones asked.

"A literary character," Selina explained. "Part of a duo in what was once considered pulp fantasy literature, but proved to be enduring enough to be reincarnated in various ways in multiple other literary works. Fafhrd, in particular, was a very tall, red-haired barbarian from the Northern Wastes, who despite his size and conspicuous appearance was an accomplished thief. Although he stole gold and gems rather than data." She glanced over at Sorenson with a small smile.

"As you can see," he said, placing a hand to his beard. "The association was obvious, although I have little else in common with the character. She, on the other hand, looks little enough like the other part of the duo, but she decided she liked Grey Mouser's sharp tongue and flair with a sword and spellcraft. So I was enlisted as a backdrop." He gave an ironic smile. "Undoubtedly my own fault for pointing out Swords and Deviltry so close to Halloween and not learning from Spock's fine example to make myself scarce at that time of year."

"I did warn you," Spock said with a small lift to his brows. "She can be extraordinarily persuasive once she has become fixated on a plan."

Sorenson grinned at Spock. "Which is why after that first experience, your favorite costume became The Invisible Man."

"Undoubtedly the best suggestion you ever gave me," Spock replied, a small half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"So that one is your fault," Uhura feigned an accusing tone.

"Forgive me, ma'am, but I couldn't let him suffer. Even if it meant getting dressed up in his place." He looked sidelong at Spock. "For which you still owe me."

"It was not that bad, for either of you." Selina looked levelly at both of them.

"Spock, I understand," Bones observed. "But I can't see as how you'd be unhappy about it. I mean, her whole fan club was probably dying their hair and try to grow a foot once they saw how you'd gotten a date."

Selina and Sorenson exchanged mirror-image raised eyebrows, before he laughed. "Date? Doctor, I was not a date. I was a costume accessory."

.

He sat on the couch in Selina's small apartment with mixed feelings. On the one hand, she was comfortable enough to invite him here alone and as far as he knew Spock was the only other male to share that privilege. On the other hand, she was comfortable enough with him to invite him here alone, so he was well and truly embedded in just-a-friend territory. That wasn't entirely bad. He was reasonably certain that even if she looked like a ghoul there would still be something about her that he would find, to borrow Spock's favorite word, fascinating. So he would want (at least) to be her friend in any case.

However, the fact that what she looked like was a particularly beautiful woman meant that he couldn't help feeling a bit sad knowing that whatever the surprise was that she had gone into her bedroom to retrieve it almost certainly would not involve her emerging in lingerie.

Sure enough, a moment later she returned, fully clothed, and carrying a large package. "You requested that I plan an easy costume as you did not have credits to spend on anything elaborate," she said. "So I have thought of the perfect costume and it will cost you nothing: we can assemble it from your old SCA gear."

"My old..." he stammered. "How...?"

"I called your parents and asked them to send it."

"You ...called my parents?" That was certainly a surprise. It was a good thing he was already sitting down.

"Yes," she said matter-of-factly. "Why are you pinching the bridge of your nose like that?"

"No reason," he said tightly. "I take it you told them it was a surprise?" It was the only possible reason he had not been called and grilled about it.

"Yes, of course. Your mother was quite enthusiastic about it once I explained the objective." Yeah. Bet she was. He'd call mom later and sort it out. ...hmmm...call mom...

"Can I ask just how you managed to get my parents' communicator code?"

"Spock gave it to me." Apparently being on Luna station for the next three weeks wasn't enough. 'Elrond' was taking no chances on being roped back into Halloween.

She sat down beside him and pulled his hand away from his face. "Stop doing that to your nose. Spock did not give it to me recently. When you took that fall last summer, Spock thought it would be better if the news came from someone more empathetic."

He bit back a laugh and disguised it by wiping a hand over his face. There were probably Klingons who were better at being empathetic.

"He need not have worried," she continued. "Your mother took the news with near-Vulcan equanimity."

That wasn't surprising. Since he had been both a very active and a very clumsy child, his mother was not likely to be phased by any injury report not actually involving the term ICU (although she had still called and chewed him out for not being more careful). "Just for future reference," he said, "unless I'm on life support, don't call my parents."

"They were grateful to be informed for a change," she answered. "Since they were not unduly distressed, I do not see a reason to withhold the information."

He raised an eyebrow. "So you call your mother to tell her every time you have some sort of drug reaction?"

The careful non-expression on her face was all the answer he needed. Check and mate.

"In any case, your parents are lovely people," she said casually. "In fact, they invited me to Thanksgiving."

She very nearly laughed at his expression. "Do not look so worried. Despite our similarities I am not as clueless as Spock. I explained to your parents on the first occasion that we are just good friends. Knowing your obstinacy, they told me that if you required anything I should call them." She gave him a smug smile. "So I did. Now go in the bedroom and put it on."

He hadn't worn the stuff since high school, so a good deal of it was a bit small. As he was trying to adapt overly short linen trousers with leg wraps, he reflected on how he had come to agree to this. Mostly, he owed Spock, who was concerned about leaving her unchaperoned. Not that she herself was likely to be in much danger, but any persistent drunk who got in her face might be. Since she had a 'highly illogical attachment to Halloween' she would go anyway. And it wasn't as though he had any better offers.

He stepped out of the bedroom and faced inspection. She tilted her head thoughtfully. "The sleeves on the shirt and jacket are too short in any case. Perhaps just the overtunic and cloak?"

He dutifully changed into the suggested items. "It doesn't look right without something under it," he said as he returned. "The overtunic won't clasp at the top anymore."

She studied him critically. "I believe it will work quite well for the character."

"Any chance you're going to let me in one who I'm supposed to be?"

"Fafhrd," she said as though it should have been obvious.

"You're kidding, right?" he glanced at himself in her hall mirror. "I'm going to make an awfully spindly Fafhrd, don't you think?"

The corners of her mouth quirked slightly. "You are a little thin, but not spindly. Has it occurred to you that the tunic doesn't fit because you have gained muscle in two years of Academy training?"

Given the number of push-ups he'd done over those years for showing up late whenever he got lost in a book that was probably true. But he still was a far cry from a stand-in for Conan.

"Stand up straight and put your shoulders back," she commanded. "And stop being so self-conscious. You have a perfectly nice chest."

That would have been great to hear had it not been delivered in precisely the same tone she would have used to give a pep talk to a girlfriend. He grinned a little anyway and she rolled her eyes.

"And you are going as...?" he asked. Given the character, there were several female companions to choose from.

"Grey Mouser, of course."

Of course? Picturing her as a small wiry man was a challenge. He raised a mischievous eyebrow. "And just how do you plan to disguise your perfectly nice chest?"

Something slightly dangerous flashed in her eyes for just a moment. He grinned with as much innocence as possible. One of the very few advantages of 'just friends' was that he could say something like that and she had to let it pass.

"I will bind my chest and add some padding at the waist to create a more boyish figure."

That would take a good bit of binding and padding in his opinion, but he wasn't going to push his luck by saying so. "You're a bit tall for Mouser."

"I am tall for a woman, but only a bit over average for a man." She smiled at him. "And I will look short standing next to you - provided you stop slouching." She tapped his spine and he began to wonder just how much time she had spent talking to his mother.

"So I'm basically part of your costume then?"

"Yes," she said with an amused look. "And I am part of yours. Without the Gray One, you might be any one of a number of large Northern barbarians."

.

"So I went as Fafhrd - dragged along like a large redheaded handbag." He smiled at Selina.

"And yet, Faf," she replied. "You agreed to reprise the role last year."

"Because you conned me into it. Now half the department calls me Fafhrd, not to mention," he leaned across the table to look her in the eye, "pretty much the entire diplomatic corps. You folks are the worst gossips in the galaxy."

"You could have gone stag. Perhaps dressed all in green with a handful of vegetables?" she suggested.

Jim and Bones chuckled. Spock's eyebrows rose, silently expressing 'Was that really necessary?' and Uhura turned her head, having trouble keeping a straight face.

Faf shook his head. "You are undoubtedly the most brutal woman in the entire quadrant." But he said it with a fond smile.

"Thank you." Selina inclined her head to him. "For such a compliment, I may even forgive you for watching me in that dress - and enjoying it." She raised a knowing eyebrow.

He blushed but raised an eyebrow back. "About time someone dressed you in something embarrassing."

She gave him a thin smile. "Just wait until you see what I come up with for next Halloween."

Jim sensed an opening. "If you let me take you," he said, giving Selina his most winning smile. "You can dress me up any way you like."

"Indeed?" She tapped her lips with one finger, her expression shifting to pure mischief. "That is the first proposition that you have offered that is actually tempting."

Sorenson, Uhura and McCoy laughed. Even Spock seemed dangerously close to smiling.

"I don't expect you to agree to that one," Uhura said, "but if you do, please, let me help pick the costume!"

McCoy rumbled laughter. "And give me notice to bring a holo recorder."

"I'm not worried," Kirk boasted, puffing out his chest. "I can look good in anything."

"A challenge, Jim?" she asked, looking at him appraisingly.

Jim tried to contain his excitement. He'd finally found his angle! "Yes. So, is it a date?" he pressed.

Selina had a wicked gleam in her eye. "I shall take it under consideration."

Sorenson looked from her to Kirk to Spock. "Spock, you're his XO. Aren't you supposed to keep your Captain out of danger?"

Spock sat back and raised his eyebrows. "Precedent indicates that he will only disregard the advice. In any case, there is little danger of lasting harm, and it is just possible that the experience may prove instructive."

"You know him better than I do," Faf conceded. "But if he doesn't fear that glint her eye, he has the survival skills of a lemming."

"He's got you pegged on that one." Bones laughed. "Maybe I should chaperone. Just to make sure he's safe?"

"I have not decided on anything, Len." Selina smiled, placing a hand on his. "But I promise he will not require your excellent medical skills."

Sorenson looked across the table at both of them. His eyebrows rose. "Another doctor?"

Selina glared darts, but her reply was preempted by Jim choking on his potatoes. McCoy got up and smacked him between the shoulder blades.

"See? The man needs a caretaker." Jim glared at him. Bones tried to clamp down on the grin threatening to take over his face, but only because Selina looked like she might be contemplating murder. "Maybe you should think up a costume for me too."

I had to explain Fafhrd and give my computer geek a little more of a part. Plus, now that McCoy is in the game, Sorenson gives Spock another guy to watch the show with. That is if Selina doesn't kill him first for that last slip. Jim has finally made a small crack in this particular Kobayashi Maru, but Bones isn't going to be content to just play bridge crew for him.

Sorenson actually has more in common with Fafhrd than he'll admit, and I took a nod to the character when he said he'd like Selina even if she looked like a ghoul (at one point Fafhrd actual had a ghoul as one of his 'comrade-mistresses').

Lastly, no, even if Selina decides to take Jim and/or Bones up on it, the Halloween party will not fit in this story. But if I write a sequel, any suggestions on what she might make either or both of them wear for costumes?