When I woke up on Saturday morning I half expected to be setting up for my party by myself. I had been out of line by lecturing Caroline about Klaus and I was not entirely sure she would forgive me so quickly. I realized soon that I had severely underestimated the loyalty of my best friend when she showed up at my door, grocery bags in hand.
"Well, are you going to just stand there or can I get some help?" She wore an expression of mock agitation and I was warmed by her compassion immediately.
I took the bags from her hand into the kitchen and sat them on the counter. As soon as my hands were free she scooped me up in her arms and spun me around. "Happy birthday!" she screamed, causing Jeremy to poke his head up over the couch.
"Put me down!" I giggled and she obliged. "Thanks, Care. You're the best."
"I know," she shrugged smugly and walked back towards the front door. "Now put your shoes on. You have a lunch date with your brother."
I looked at Jeremy suspiciously and he smiled, standing up. He walked over to me and held his arm out. "Your chariot awaits," he said jokingly.
I laced my arm through his and smiled at him. "There's no person in the world I would rather spend my day with," I told him.
When we got outside I saw Caroline's mother's red corvette in the driveway. I had always loved this car and had only ridden in it once, but I always told Caroline how badly I wanted the same car one day. Overcome with excitement I turned around. Caroline stood in the doorway beaming from ear to ear. "I know, I'm the best," she said.
I ran back and hugged her, this time lifting her off the ground. "What did I do to deserve you?" I said as I pulled away.
She just shrugged. "Have fun. Be careful," she winked as she tossed the keys to me.
Jeremy was smiling too and he walked past me to the car, obviously just as excited as I was. He got into the passenger seat and I took my time sitting down into the driver's seat, enjoying every minute. Jeremy informed me that we were going to the mall to pick out a new outfit for the party, compliments of Caroline's credit card. I shouldn't have been surprised but I was nonetheless.
Three hours later we had combed the mall back and forth for the perfect ensemble, Jeremy being perfectly patient with me and even offering occasional style advice. Afterwards we ate lunch at my favorite bistro on Main Street, then finally we returned home. By the time we got home I was ecstatic from the endorphins of my incredible day and I knew that it was only just beginning.
When I opened the door I was not the least bit surprised to find that Caroline had outdone herself once again. Streamers and balloons filled the house from the foyer to the kitchen and tables and chairs were arranged perfectly throughout. My favorite band's latest CD flowed through the speakers in the living room that she had placed strategically around the room and she stood in the entrance to the kitchen, arms open and palms facing upwards.
"Well?" She smiled, turning in a circle as if displaying the house.
"Have I told you that you're the best?" I walked towards her, shopping bags in hand.
"I don't think so," she teased. "Now go get ready, everyone will be here in an hour."
Before I could go any further she stopped me by the shoulders and spun me around, marching me up the stairs to my room. I laughed, thankful to have such an amazing friend in my life.
It took me exactly an hour to get dressed and ready, and by the time I put the finishing touches on my makeup and gave one last twirl of my new dress in the mirror I could hear the doorbell ringing. I walked down the stairs, feeling much like a girl in the movies getting ready to leave for prom. Bonnie, Claire, and Ryan stood in my foyer, whistling and cheering as I descended. I played along, giving them another twirl as I reached the bottom step then I hugged them all just as another group of four friends walked through the front door.
Half an hour later everyone had arrived and we all settled into different areas of the downstairs, laughing and catching up as we always did. Several different people told me that I looked happier than I had in weeks and I had to admit it was the truth - this was the best birthday I could have asked for. Jenna had told Caroline and I that she would chaperone if any of our friends wanted to drink a few wine coolers, only if they promised to stay at our house for the night. We came to the mutual agreement quickly that drinking was out of the question and thankfully we all managed to entertain ourselves with games of Truth or Dare and Never Have I Ever sober for hours.
Around 8:30 the boys started to filter out of the party and the few close girlfriends that remained insisted I open presents. After opening a few new CD's, a handful of amazing jewelry (including an engraved heart necklace from Caroline), and a diary from Jeremy, my friends began to dissipate until only Caroline remained.
"This was the best birthday ever. Thank you so much Care," I hugged her for the third time in an hour and she assured me for the third time that it was nothing. "I'm sorry about yesterday," I said quietly, unable to hold it in any longer.
Her smile faded and she lowered her eyes to the floor. "Me too," she said, and I knew that that meant this subject would be better left alone for now.
A few minutes later Caroline left as well, after I promised her that I didn't need her to spend the night "like old times". I had other plans for myself this evening and it was getting late. I changed into jeans and a sweater and told Jenna where I was going, then started out the front door.
"Wait," Jenna called behind me, small box in hand.
"What is this? No more presents, Jenna. It's going to get to my head," I joked with a smile. My smile faded as I saw the look in Jenna's eyes and I stared at her anxiously, becoming nervous.
"I don't want to upset you, but," she took a deep breath and opened the box. Inside was a smaller box that I recognized instantly it must be more jewelry. She flipped the top of the smaller box and my jaw dropped open. Inside was a silver ring, expertly crafted into a large heart in the center with two smaller hearts on either side. Diamonds lined the outsides of all three hearts and a large solitaire stood out in the middle of the largest heart.
"Jenna..." I stammered, breathless. The ring must have cost a fortune and I knew that she couldn't afford it.
"It was your mother's. Her engagement ring," as she spoke I could hear her voice becoming hoarse and I knew she was getting choked up. "The diamonds and the band, I mean. I had the jewelry store make this ring out of hers. One heart for your mom and dad, one for you, and one for your brother."
Jenna had taken the ring out of the box and I stared at it as she laid it into my palm, speechless. "I don't know what to say," I said quietly, "Thank you."
"Put it on," she smiled, encouraging me with a nod of her head.
I grasped it between my fingers lightly and slowly slid it onto the ring finger on my right hand. It fit perfectly. "It's incredible," I gasped.
"So are you," Jenna stepped forward and kissed the top of my head. "Now get out of here before I lose it."
I smiled warmly at her, filled with love and adoration for my amazing aunt. Taking her advise, I exited the house and headed towards my car. The air was colder and drier than it had been all year and I wondered if the forecast might be correct; perhaps my birthday would be a white one after all.
I knew the way to the cemetery by heart, having visited nearly every day over the summer. I had cut my visits down to about once a month since school started back, and with all of the drama going on for the past couple of months it had been quite a while since I had visited last. Tonight there was no place I would rather end my birthday than with my parents, in whatever way I could get them.
Mine was the only car in the parking lot; I was always a little freaked out visiting the graveyard at night, tonight especially. Luckily there were lights scattered throughout and I always brought my flashlight and cell phone, just in case. This time I also carried a blanket from my trunk. I found my way to my parents' plot easily and sat down in the middle, as always. I wrapped my blanket around myself and stared down at the ring Jenna gave me, my new favorite possession.
I had never been one to talk out loud to my parents when I visited (frankly, the sound of my own voice frightened me a little in the darkness), but I imagined that they could hear my thoughts and I replayed the day's events in my mind, smiling contently the entire time.
I had been sitting for what felt like hours when I heard leaves crackling in the distance. I jumped up, scared to death, looking around for any sign of life. Finally a figure emerged over the hill from the parking lot and in the darkness I could barely make out that this was the body of a man. When he finally stepped into the pool of a streetlight I thought instantly that I must have fallen asleep and been dreaming.
"Damon?" I whispered loudly; somehow it felt strange to raise my voice above a whisper in the cemetery and once again hearing my own voice gave me a chill, despite the blanket wrapped around my shoulders.
"Hey, I didn't mean to scare you," it was him; and just when I thought my day couldn't get any better.
"How did you know I was here?" I asked as he approached. He stopped in the walkway between the graves, almost as if it would be impolite to invade my parents' space.
"Jenna told me," he looked as incredible as ever - dark blue jeans, black leather shoes, and a black jacket zipped up to his neck, hands in his pockets and that smile on his face.
"You went to my house?" I couldn't avoid smiling at the gesture, hoping that maybe it meant more than just a friendly birthday visit.
"Yeah," he nodded, eyes fixed to the ground. "I wanted to tell you happy birthday."
"You could have called," I said, more as a hopeful realization to myself than as a strike at him, but I knew it must have come out sounding like the latter.
"I could have," he lifted his eyes to meet mine and what I saw there was what I had been hoping to see for weeks - forgiveness. "I thought seeing you might mean more. I'm sorry to intrude, if you want to be alone..."
"No," I interrupted, unwilling to let him leave already. "I'm glad you're here."
"I come here a lot too," he said quietly, motioning with his head to an area in the distance. I turned around and looked where he was staring, knowing full well that the Salvatore plot was just on the other side of the path. I nodded in understanding and we fell silent. "Can we talk?" He suggested finally, looking around at the scenery.
I understood what he meant; this was not the appropriate place for the conversation we needed to have and I lead him down the pathway to a clearing under a tree. The tree was bare and ominous, another creepy reminder that we were in a graveyard. A few seconds passed and neither of us said a word, making the mood become awkward very quickly. Finally to break the ice I spoke, "I thought you were leaving town?"
"I was," he chuckled at some private joke, "But for some reason this place seems to keep pulling me back."
"Anything special keeping you here?" I really was curious but I knew that it sounded like a shameless ploy to get a confession out of him and I wished more than ever for a verbal backspace button.
His expression remained soft and complacent, but his eyes indicated that he was slightly surprised by my question. "A few things," he said, and the sideways smile that followed warmed me from head to toe. Seeing my body language change, his smile faded and he regained his serious composure. "Listen Elena, I've been thinking a lot about everything. About you, about what happened, about whether or not I can ever move past it..." The mention of 'what happened' froze my insides again as if someone had reached in and turned off the heater, and I pulled the blanket tighter around me to disguise my discomfort. "What pisses me off more than anything is that I made you feel like you needed another guy to feel wanted," he continued.
I stopped him instantly, knowing that he was about to start blaming himself for what happened. "It's not your fault, Damon. What I did was stupid, it was a mistake and I'm sorry," I pleaded.
"I wasn't the man I should have been for you," he continued, ignoring my interjection, "I shouldn't have asked you to keep us a secret. I should have been proud to tell everyone about you, and I should have told my brother sooner before it got out of control. I should have been there for you that day. But I wasn't, and he was. How can I hold that against either of you? I'm the one who messed up," he stepped closer to me and I could feel my pulse quicken. A cold wind was blowing and the scent of his cologne consumed my senses. I breathed it in as if I had been without oxygen for weeks, hoping he would not notice.
As badly as I wanted to stop him and make him take it all back, I could not help but feel like this might be what Damon had to tell himself to get over what had happened. Part of it was true, but I hated that he put all the blame on himself - the decision had ultimately been my own. "Are you saying you're not mad at me anymore?" I asked, desperate for him to stop reliving the pain.
"Hell yes I'm mad," he answered, eyebrows raised. But as quickly as the words left his mouth his face returned to genuine concern and he smiled softly, "But I'm not mad at you. I'm mad that I ever pushed you far enough away that you needed another guy to pick up my slack. I don't want that to happen again," as he spoke he took another step closer,
I blinked, fighting a mixture of excitement, nerves, and confusion. I needed clarity and I needed to hear him say that everything was going to be okay. "What are trying to say, Damon?"
"What I'm saying is," he reached his hands up and placed them on the sides of my face just below my ears. I stared at him, waiting to hear the words come from his lips. "Maybe I didn't make this very clear before, but I'm telling you now and I'm only going to say this once. Elena, I don't want to share you with anyone else ever again. You're mine, and if anyone has a problem with that I'll be sure it's the last problem they ever have."
I was certain that in that moment my heart stopped beating. I was still not entirely convinced that this conversation was not something I had imagined, or that he really was not intending to throw in a 'Just kidding, fuck you' at any moment. I stood motionless, wondering how I would ever get back to the way I felt earlier in the day if he did intend on leaving me after this.
"It's going to take some time to get back to where we were and I want to take it slow," he continued, obviously feeling the need to elaborate to silence the confusion that must be written across my face, "But I can't be without you. I want to do things right this time. I want to be us again and I want everyone to know it."
I realized how strange I must look, but I could not find any words to respond. I could feel my hands reaching up to hold his against my cheeks and I figured this was my subconscious attempt to make certain his touch was real. The heat from his body resonated through my face and I closed my eyes briefly, taking it in. "You have no idea how badly I've wanted to hear you say that," I confessed, letting the words fall effortlessly from my lips without hesitation.
"I'm guessing just as badly as I've wanted to say it," he was whispering now and when my eyes opened I wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on mine.
As if reading my thoughts, he leaned down at the exact moment that I leaned forward and when our mouths touched I felt a shock flow through me that warmed every square inch of my body. I wrapped my arms around his back and gave myself entirely to the kiss, never wanting this moment to end for fear that he might change his mind.
When he finally pulled away the color had returned to his cheeks and the twinkle in his eye told me his guard had been let down again. He moved his right hand back to my face and I leaned my cheek against it, eyes closed again.
"Elena," he whispered, causing me to open my eyes and look at him. His expression was different than any I had recognized before and I was glad that he had a hold of me, fearing that if he let go I might lose my balance. His eyes searched mine for some semblance of approval. I leaned forward instinctively, waiting to hear the words I had dreamed of hearing come from his lips. Instead his expression changed and a hint of hesitation entered his gaze. "Happy birthday," He said, and although my heart ached to hear a different set of syllables I still could not hide my excitement that he was actually here with me.
"I guess I learned one thing today," I said, smiling happily up at him.
"What's that?" He replied, reaching down to pull my blanket tighter around me in a comforting gesture that made my stomach turn flips again.
"Birthday wishes do come true," he looked at me with a sudden desire filled with pent up longing and he pulled me close again, kissing me with much more ferocity than before. As I ran my fingers through his hair, taking note to remember how every inch of him felt underneath my skin, I felt cold wet drops on my hands and forehead and we pulled away from one another at the same time. Snow had begun to fall all around us in a sudden downpour, and at that moment I realized that standing there with Damon in the graveyard where both our parents were buried, under a terrifyingly eerie oak tree, wearing muddy sneakers and an over-sized blanket, I had never felt so much like a fairytale princess.
As we resumed our embrace, now covered in snow and water, I could only think how fortunate it was that the weather knew exactly how I felt.