A/N:Might be a little ofMature Content Ahead. Readers be warned.

35. Mind over Matter

Edward's POV

When we finally make it back to the house, Jasper is gone and Alice is standing with Esme. Carlisle is carrying Bella into the house with me trailing right behind him. Esme looks fearful toward Bella her eyes welling with unshed tears, "Oh, Bella!" she cries. My body feels like it's mostly on autopilot as I follow Carlisle into the house heading straight for his office. "Rosalie and Emmett are on their way. They are rather far out since they wanted the weekend to themselves," Alice informed me. I felt someone tugging on my arm as I turned to see Alice. Gone was her usual peppiness as well as her infectious smile. She looked genuinely concerned, "Edward, you need to make the decision when the time comes. I can't see anything right now, it's like everything changed. Nothing is set in stone, remember. It all changed…" I stared at her confused before she forced a smile, "Don't be surprised by what you find or what you see. Make the decision you can't live without."

"Edward!" Carlisle called. Alice and I ran up the stairs into his office. Carlisle had changed his office lately in the past few weeks so Bella could have her checkups in his office. "Alice, have you hunted enough?" Carlisle asked sliding the gurney with Bella onto the floor. Alice nodded quickly, "Yes, I hunted. I'm good to go." Carlisle nodded, "I need the desk cleared off. I didn't have time to get an actual bed with forceps so this is going to be on the desk." Alice ran over to the desk quickly removing all the things from Carlisle's desk. Carlisle turned to me with a grim smile, "Edward, we both need to wash up. If we're going to do this it's not going to be easy at all."

I moved into the bathroom knowing that I had blood all over me from carrying Bella to the house. I removed my jacket since it was stained with blood. My eyes were probably slightly dark from all the blood but I couldn't think about that right now. Bella was counting on me to make the right decision. Though, she needed to hold on for the sake of the kid as well as her own life. I was going to fight as long as she kept her heart beating it was all I could do to help her. Tossing the jacket to the trash, my fingers gripped the sink in front of me below the mirror.

"Please, Bella…" I whispered to my reflection as I lowered my gaze down to the sink, "just hang on for me. I can't live without you…" There was blood on my hands and I realized I needed to clean them so that I didn't get her infected. We had to take every precaution possible in order to save her and her kid. I scrubbed my hands from the blood as well as my face hoping the water would be a wakeup call. I couldn't lose my cool right now, not now. My eyes were losing the rich golden butterscotch they had become after hunting thanks to all of Bella's blood. I didn't feel the least bit thirsty compared to all of the other emotions racing through my mind and my body. I might not have been human but there wasn't much separating us at this moment. Emotions were coursing through my body at such lightning speed that I felt slightly dizzy from the experience.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Alice's mental voice invaded my thoughts, "Edward, I can't see Bella's future right now. You need to get back in here, Carlisle needs you." I took an unneeded ragged breath before wiping my hands off on a towel stepping out. Alice stood beside the door with a grim expression, "She needs you, just as you need her, Edward." I nodded absentmindedly following her into Carlisle's office where Bella lay on Carlisle's desk. Carlisle and Alice had removed everything from the desk and Bella lay drenched in blood on the table. "She needs to be cleaned before we can begin. It's going to be hard, but we can't risk infection to the baby," Carlisle said. Alice and I stared at Bella her skin glistening and becoming even paler than she already was. Alice moved to her immediately toward her shoulder, "What are we going to do about her shoulder, Carlisle?" Carlisle looked up from the drawers he was combing through. He had already removed his coat as well along with all of his jewelry in preparation for the surgery. Carlisle glanced at me, "Edward, fill a syringe with morphine as well as some of your venom. I have a feeling we are going to need to stab her heart with the venom to have a chance at saving Bella's life." I nodded as Carlisle moved to Alice who stood by Bella's shoulder. Quickly I moved to fill the syringe with the morphine. Despite the fact that Bella was unconscious from both shock and blood loss there was still the chance that she would wake up from the pain. It was the last thing we needed; the last thing I needed was to hear her screaming from the pain.

The tricky part was my venom. I held the huge syringe in my hands just staring at it realizing what this meant. She wouldn't survive as human; she would have to be turned. We had no choice. The wolves would have to understand that we had no choice. Not to mention if she was turned, I wanted it to be my own venom that gave her life. There was no more time to waste so I quickly wrapped a tie around my arm sliding the needle into my skin pulling out the venom filling it completely. Once I was done, I could hear ripping fabric from behind me so I turned around to see Alice tearing the last of Bella's clothes off her body. Bella was becoming naked on the table revealing her body to us all. Any other time I might have admired her curves that I hadn't the chance to see but her body looked so battered. Despite all the months of being away from Mike, he had managed to drag her back into his life. Her body was now damaged again from his torture. Mike had better hope he died in that fire because otherwise, I was going to kill him myself.

I moved to Carlisle's side with the tray of medicine as Carlisle placed his hand on Bella's forehead, "She's burning up. We need to hurry, her time is running out. Can you still hear the heartbeat?" Carlisle asked. I handed over the tray listening hard for the thump that had guided me for so long.

Thump…..Thump….Thump…

"It is getting faint. Carlisle, what about her arm?" I asked panic coloring my tone. Carlisle sighed glancing at me, "She's lucky. It missed everything important. Unfortunately, the bullet is still in her shoulder. We don't need to let that bullet stay in there before her transformation. You may not like her becoming one of us, but she will die otherwise. She's bleeding too much. This operation is to save the baby; otherwise we would not have this problem. She wouldn't be bleeding if she weren't pregnant. The wound in her shoulder isn't bleeding anymore it could have been sewed; this is all because of her pregnancy. The stress was too much; I expected the birth any day, just not in this fashion." I nodded glancing at the huge bloody gash opened in her shoulder. Alice was continuing to rip the clothes from Bella's body and suddenly we heard the front door open and loud voices enter the house. Alice froze glancing toward the office door shaking her head, "Rose is here. Emmett can restrain her but once the babies are born we won't be able to anymore. You've got to hurry; I'm losing Rose's future as well. It must mean that whatever happens here affects Rose as well."

Carlisle sighed as he took the syringe full of morphine, "Lift her, Edward. It won't take full effect yet, but we can't wait any longer." I reached out with shaky hands knowing that if I had a working heart it would be pumping a thousand times a minute. Carlisle injected the needle into her pale skin pushing in the morphine. Alice finally got all the clothes off even the most difficult and we realized there was no point of cleaning her until afterward when she was going through the transformation. Carlisle quickly moved afterward toward his surgical tools glancing at me, "Edward, I'm going to need your help. Alice, I'll give you instructions, you'll have to get the bullet out of her shoulder. Let's get to work." Immediately we all moved to our places and I noticed how Alice already had some damp towels along with a few tools. "Alice, be careful," I whisper knowing she can hear me just fine. She glanced over at me with a nod, "I will." Carlisle pulled over a tray of surgical tools with a frown, "Hopefully she won't wake. We don't have a choice; she'll have to see if she wakes." I grabbed the anesthetic for her stomach which Carlisle quickly spread it over her stomach. I looked away toward Alice as she was cleaning the edge of the shoulder wound. Carlisle carefully made the incision in her lower stomach the way he knew how. My eyes moved upward toward her face following the lines in her face realizing in that moment that her beautiful chocolate brown eyes would never open. When she did wake, her eyes would be startling blood red. No longer would her gorgeous brown eyes open in the mornings lighting up my world.

"Edward!" Carlisle yelled pulling my attention back. I gave him my attention as he sighed glancing over at Alice, "Alice, now you have to be careful. Edward, help her out, this is taking my complete attention." I moved to help Alice knowing that Carlisle needed his attention devoted to Bella. Removing the bullet is rather dangerous because of everything that must be avoided once the bullet is pulled out. I glanced up at Carlisle, "Carlisle, why don't we just leave the bullet? Maybe we can get it out later. We need to get this sewed up to stop the bleeding. It's not going to stay clotted the entire time." Carlisle sighed nodding, "Alright, that's probably best. Just sew it up and it will fix around the bullet, it's the best we can do." Alice sped from the room for the materials returning in a flash. She gave me the needle and we both quickly got to work. Alice was cleaning the wound and dabbing Bella's face. The entire procedure was taking longer than I would have liked. "Edward, I need you down here. Alice can finish that. We don't have much more time."

Handing over the materials to Alice I moved to Carlisle's side. Carlisle had managed to get her stomach apart but needed the help to get it spread to get the baby out. "She's having twins," Carlisle said with a smile. I froze turning around to his face. Despite everything that had happened when Bella decided she didn't want to know the sex of her child, I decided it too. I had stayed out of talks pertaining to Bella's child. The gift I bought was for both a girl and a boy so it wouldn't be a problem for either sex. The smile spread across my face knowing that my undead heart had grown in size. Not only was my life centered on Bella, but it was now centered on two precious babies that had grown in Bella's stomach. Helping Carlisle I helped push the sides opened while he reached in pulling out one of the babies. My eyes widened as a small baby came out completely silent which scared me a little bit. Carlisle hit the baby on the bottom and suddenly the room was filled with a shrill cry from the baby. Unshed tears filled my eyes as I stared at that baby watching Carlisle wipe it before he smiled. Carlisle turned to me with a wide grin tears filling his eyes as well, "A girl."

I grinned glancing at Bella taking her limp hand in mine, "We've got Elizabeth, Bella. She made it through…" Suddenly Alice stood in front of Carlisle taking Elizabeth from his hands, "I've got her. That other baby will need you more." I watched as Alice held the baby to her cooing as she let out another cry. Alice was already the perfect aunt. "Edward, let's get the last baby. Then the hard work begins," Carlisle said reaching inside. I stood beside him as another baby was pulled from Bella this one immediately started crying his tiny hands reaching into the air. For some reason I just knew this one was a boy by the way Carlisle held him with a tiny smile on his face, "A boy. What's his name?" I stared at that baby boy wondering what I would name him afterall there were so many names.

Then suddenly a smile came over my lips, "Anthony Masen Cullen." Carlisle nodded and suddenly there were knocks on the door causing Alice to giggle. I turned my head to see Alice opening the door for Rosalie who stood on the other side with a hesitant and worried smile. Alice turned to look at me and I nodded turning to Carlisle. Carlisle smiled handing over the tiny baby boy who opened his tiny eyes revealing Bella's familiar chocolate brown eyes. I realized in that moment that the little boy looked more like Bella than he ever did Mike. I saw the resemblance in his nose to Bella's own nose. As I carried him to Rosalie I knew that Anthony had already created his little place in my heart, he would be nothing like Mike. I would make sure that he was nothing like Mike; Anthony would be loved and cherished his entire life. Rosalie stood anxious at the door as I stood before her before handing off the baby boy. The change in Rosalie was immediate as she held the tiny life in her arms clutching his small body. "What's his name?" she whispered staring at him clutching his tiny hand with her fingers. I smiled at him, "Anthony Masen. My middle name as his first name and my last name as his middle name." She nodded looking up her eyes filled with tears, "Save her, Edward. Make sure she lives to raise these two kids. They need her."

Esme was behind Rose her eyes glued to the baby in Rose's arms as Alice walked behind me. Alice spoke to Esme, "Esme, hold your granddaughter?" Esme's head snapped up and Alice handed over Elizabeth, "This is Elizabeth, or as I like to call her Lizzy." I narrowed my eyes at Alice who grinned at me with a sheepish expression, "Trust me, that name is a tongue twister, Lizzy helps." I rolled my eyes as I suddenly heard Carlisle curse, something he never did before. Rose and Esme nodded toward Bella their expressions grave. I moved immediately to Carlisle's side who was carefully attempting to stitch Bella's stomach. "Carlisle?" He swore once again as he quickly attempted to stitch her stomach. "Carlisle?!" I yelled aloud to get his attention. He sighed looking up, "Listen Edward. What do you here?" I listened carefully past the crying screaming babies just outside the door to what was bothering Carlisle.

Th..ump…..Thu..mp…Thu…mp…

Dread filled my stomach as I heard what was happening to Bella. "She's lost so much blood. I thought we'd have time, Edward. I did…" Carlisle said trailing off. I shook my head grabbing the syringe with my venom immediately stabbing her chest directly in her heart. Carlisle swore, "Edward, it might not work." I looked up glaring at him the anger and dread mixing together, "We can't just give up! I'm going to do everything in my power to save her. I promised her, damn it. I'm going to save her if it's the last thing I do in this world. Those two babies need their mother in their lives!" Carlisle was silent from that moment as he finished her stomach to make sure she didn't bleed excessively. Once the venom was in her system I placed my hand against the back of her head, "I love you, Bella. I have loved you, I think, from the first moment I met you. I will continue to love you even after death. This is what you want, but this is what I need. I can't live without you; I hope you'll forgive me for needing this. For condemning you to this life but I can't live it without you." I smiled at her face reaching down and pressing my lips against her forehead, "I love you. I need you to know that."

I stood back taking her hand in mine. Holding it for a moment I admired her warmth, the same warmth that was slowly receding along with her pulse. In case this didn't work I followed the lines in her hand and everything that made her who she was ran through my mind. I looked up at her before smiling as I brought her wrist to my mouth before biting down. Her blood pooled in my mouth and for a moment I realized how easy it would be to just end her suffering. She would never have to know the pain of the transformation, she would have the death that she was destined to have. Though the selfish part of me surfaced and immediately the thought was gone. Venom poured from my teeth into her body mixing with her blood. Her wrist wasn't the only place I bit. I continued trailing bites along both her arms hating myself for marring her skin. This was my last ditch effort I knew Alice was seeing my decisions as I fought, trying to keep Bella alive.

"Edward, keep going. This might work…" I barely heard Carlisle's voice in the background encouraging me to continue my efforts. I continued my biting along her legs as well trying to get enough venom poured into her veins at once. The only thing I allowed myself to even think about was the receding pumping of her heart. It spurred me on until I ran out of places on her skin so I looked up to see all the bite marks that scared her body. I felt horrible, lower than dirt to have given in to the selfish part of me. I moved upward smiling at her as I knew both blood and venom coated my mouth but I didn't care. I might have been deranged but I was going to do everything in my power that I was capable of to save the only love of my life. I leaned over her body and hid my face in her shoulder before I bit into the crevice between her neck and her shoulders. "I'm sorry, Bella…" I trailed off as I stood back listening to her heart.

Thu…mp…Thump...Thump

Turning to Carlisle I forced a smile as did he, "It's going to work, Edward. I have a good feeling about this. The morphine might immobilize her so don't worry too much. We'll give her three days as required." I nodded but part of me was worried more than I wanted to show. She had to pull through, she just had to. Suddenly we all heard the commotion downstairs as I heard Jasper's mental voice enter my mind. I swore under my breath realizing we had some cleaning up to do. I stared at Bella for a moment longer shaking my head. "We just have to wait. We need to act as if she'll pull through. This means that everything needs to be handled immediately. This isn't just about us anymore; we've got two lives for sure that need our attention right now. Bella would want us to watch them, make a life for them. That's not going to work with suspicion from the town, Edward," said Carlisle. I nodded sighing as I shook my head, "We'll make the decisions as a family but I'm not leaving the house, Carlisle."

"Edward, that's not possible. Charlie's going to wonder why you aren't outside the house if Bella's dead. It's going to be the first thing he thinks…" Carlisle trailed off. I frowned knowing Carlisle was right. If Bella didn't pull through I had to protect those two babies with my life. I had to push through all of this to make things right. "I'll make appearances but I'll be back for Bella," I told him before storming out of the room down the stairs.

The only thing left to do was make appearances and wait. Wait for a miracle.